April 22, 2025 • 13 mins
In this episode, I finally introduce myself properly (yeah, it’s overdue) and go deep on a topic that isn’t getting the respect it deserves: self-trust—not the cute, Pinterest version, but the kind that builds empires, not burnout.
I break down how self-trust is conditioned out of ambitious women from a young age, why most of us succeed in spite of ourselves, and how that leads to overthinking, hesitation, and outsourcing our decisions to people who don’t hold our vision.
More importantly, I show you why self-trust is not a mindset issue—it’s a leadership strategy. And if you're stuck in clarity limbo, there’s a reason for that. It’s not confusion. It’s disconnection from your own authority.
This isn’t soft coaching. It’s power reclamation. If that’s what you’re ready for, join me live for The Self-Trust Reset on May 20, 2025. Send me a message using the "Send Us a Text" link above with the word RESET and I'll send you details.
Love what you heard? Let’s stay connected!
Subscribe to my newsletter for bold insights on leadership, strategy, and building your legacy — straight to your inbox every week.
Follow me on LinkedIn for more no-nonsense advice on leading with power and purpose.
And if you’re ready to dive even deeper, grab a copy of my book Bite-Sized Blasphemy and ignite your inner fire to do life and business your way.
The Business Blasphemy Podcast is sponsored by Corporate Rehab® Strategic Consulting.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Business Blasphemy Podcast,
where we question the sacredtruths of the online business
space and the reverence withwhich they're held.
I'm your host, sarah Khanspeaker, strategic consultant
and BS busting badass.
Join me each week as wechallenge the norms, trends and
overall bullshit status quo ofentrepreneurship to uncover what
it really takes to build thebusiness that you want to build
(00:23):
in a way that honors you, yourlife and your vision for what's
possible, and maybe piss off afew gurus along the way.
So if you're ready to commitbusiness blasphemy, let's do it.
Hello, hello blasphemers.
Welcome back to the BusinessBlasphemy Podcast, where we work
hard to burn down every lieyou've been sold about what it
(00:46):
takes to lead, succeed and beseen in a world that wasn't
built for women like us.
Last week, I attended an eventthat was being hosted by a new
friend that I made here locally.
She is truly a kindred spirit,very excited to do more things
with her, and the keynote wasbeing delivered by an incredible
woman.
Her name is Marion Coomeumi.
She's a veteran broadcasterhere in Canada, she's a
(01:08):
communications expert and shenow teaches at a local
university.
She made me realize that, eventhough I've got over 100
episodes under my belt.
Unless you're in my spaces,unless you've been listening
(01:32):
since episode one, you verylikely don't know who I am and,
quite frankly, I've neverintroduced myself formally,
which, in hindsight, was a hugeoverset on my part, so I'm very
sorry about that.
So welcome once again to theBusiness Blasphemy Podcast.
My name is Sarah Kahn.
I'm a leadership strategist andbusiness growth advisor dragon
tamer and your favoriteblasphemer.
I work with smart women who'veoutgrown the version of success
(01:55):
and leadership that they havebeen taught to follow yes,
taught.
I help them get clear on whatactually matters.
I help them get out ofhesitation hell.
And I help them get out ofhesitation hell and I help them
start leading from who they are,not who they've been trained to
be.
And today I want to talk aboutsomething that does not get
enough attention inconversations about success or
(02:19):
ambition or leadership orvisibility, and that is
self-trust.
Not the aesthetic Instagramversion of self-trust.
I don't even know what the fuckthat looks like, but there you
go.
I'm talking about the real,practical, strategic, embodied
kind of self-trust, like thekind that builds empires and
(02:40):
kills burnout right.
Like the kind that lets youlead from who you are like, from
your identity, your coreidentity, not from fear or
obligation or expectation or anyother thing that we have been
conditioned to believe isnecessary, right?
The kind that, in all honesty,most women are taught to
(03:01):
surrender as early as possible.
So you know what.
Let's start with what I'mactually talking about, okay?
So I've got my teacher hat onbear with me for a second.
Trust, by definition, is a firmbelief, like you truly are
convicted in the belief of thereliability, of the truth, of
(03:22):
the ability or the strength ofsomeone or something.
All right, that's trust.
So when we talk aboutself-trust, we're talking about
the ability to believe inyourself, in your own
reliability, your own truth,your own strength.
Self-trust is foundational,what you have and need at your
(03:46):
very core.
It's not something you earnwhen you've done enough.
It's not something you'resupposed to have from the moment
you open your eyes.
And here's the thing everyoneskirts around when they talk
about it.
Most women don't loseself-trust because they're weak
or whatever you want to put inthere.
They lose it because they'retaught to.
It gets conditioned out of us,right?
(04:09):
That's the sneaky part, or Idon't know, maybe it's not.
You decide, but you learn veryearly on to doubt yourself.
You know.
You say, oh, I'm cold.
Someone says no, you're not.
You say I don't like that.
Oh, don't be picky.
Oh, this doesn't feel right.
Oh, you're overreacting Everytime someone gaslights your
experience of something orchallenges your gut instinct or
(04:33):
punishes you for speaking up.
Right, that is a slow erosionof trust.
And by the time you are ahigh-achieving, multi-talented,
successful, ambitious woman,well, you've learned how to
succeed in spite of thatdisconnection, not because you
trust yourself, but because youbecome really excellent and
(04:54):
efficient at scanning the roomand adapting right and
outperforming expectations.
Now, I'm not going to lie,that's an incredibly powerful
skill.
That is me, in a nutshell, andI've accomplished really great
things because of that skill.
But it costs you everything whenyou are the one who needs to
make decisions at the end of theday, because now you are
(05:17):
probably an overthinker.
You probably second guesseverything that you think, so it
leads to more overthinking,right?
You're somebody who askseveryone else first what their
opinion is, what theirimpression is of something, what
they think you should do.
You're somebody who waits forclarity and that clarity never
comes.
You're probably somebody who'sinvested in a lot of clarity
(05:39):
sessions, right, had a lot ofconversations with biz besties
and coaches.
You're somebody who delaysaction because as hard as it's
going to be to hear this you'reterrified of getting it wrong.
Every decision feels like it'sso much bigger than it is and
there's so much risk involved init, and then, because there's
(06:01):
more, just wait, there's more.
And then you feel shame for notbeing more decisive when really
you were just taught that yourown knowing isn't enough.
This is a true and all toocommon experience for women in
pretty much every walk of life.
It starts young and itcontinues, especially the more
(06:23):
powerful you get or the higherup the ladder you go.
And woe betide you as anentrepreneur, because you don't
have the committee that we havein corporate or traditional
roles to help you mitigate therisk of decisions.
You're on your own with them,and so many people in the online
business space are ready topounce in and tell you oh, it's
your mindset or it's your vibe,your vibe is wrong or you need
(06:44):
to realign your aura.
I don't know if that's a thing.
I'm being facetious.
I think it's aligning yourchakras.
Sorry, I'm just being anasshole, but this really pisses
me off.
Here's what I need you to know.
Cultivating self-trust isabsolutely essential, and I say
cultivate very intentionally.
Self-trust is not a vibe, it'sa leadership strategy.
Now, a lot of people thinkleadership is a title or it's a
(07:06):
skill at best, but I'm here totell you it's not.
It's a strategy, right?
Strategy is something that alot of people in the online
business space don't reallyunderstand.
They deliver tactics, notstrategy.
Strategy is a deliberate,long-term plan of action and it
is put together to achieve aspecific outcome or advantage.
(07:28):
If that doesn't apply to realleadership, I will eat my
fucking hat and I don't wear ahat, but we can find one that
looks appetizing, if I'm wrong.
Leadership is not a to-do list.
It's not about reaction orreactivity.
It's about making intentional,high leverage decisions that
align with your goals and youridentity, and the identity is
(07:49):
the key piece, right, and that'sso that you're not just doing
busy work, you're actuallybuilding something of
consequence In leadership andbusiness strategy answers
questions like what are we goingto achieve, what are we going
to say yes to and what are wegoing to stop doing?
What are we going to say no to?
What resources or whatpositioning or what power do we
need to get these things done orto get to where we want to go,
(08:17):
and at the very core of it,strategy is clarity plus choice
plus commitment, and self-trustis absolutely necessary for all
three of those things clarity,choice and commitment Because
when you learn to trust yourselfand you have to learn it okay,
it is something that you have tocultivate and learn and when
you learn to trust yourself, youmove faster because you're not
constantly waiting for proofthat it's going to work or
guarantees right.
(08:38):
You make sharper decisionsbecause you're not operating
from fear.
There's a clarity and analignment and a conviction that
happens.
You take more aligned risks,because the reality is you
cannot avoid risk altogether.
The thing that you want is totake risks that are aligned with
your goals and your capacityand your identity, because
you're not performing safety forother people.
(09:00):
You also stop outsourcing yourclarity and your decision making
to people who don't hold orunderstand your vision.
And when you trust yourself,that is when the magic kicks in.
That is when your voice getslouder.
That is when your confidencefeels real, not practiced.
You take up space withoutapologizing for it or feeling
(09:24):
like you're sucking the air outof the room.
You make moves and take actionthat feels bold but also feels
true, because the moves are notperformative.
Imposter syndrome dies becauseyou're not performing.
You stop waiting for permissionbecause you've already given it
to yourself.
(09:45):
I have watched women changetheir entire business model
leave a job, raise their rates,take the stage I don't know
pivot hard, not because they hada better plan or because
someone told them, but becausethey trusted themselves to lead
themselves and everybody elsethrough it.
You want to know the wild part.
They always knew what theywanted.
(10:05):
They just needed someone tohelp them trust their own answer
.
And that is why I created theSelf-Trust Reset, because I see
that there is a huge need,especially today, for something
like this.
The Self-Trust Reset is a90-minute live, high-impact
session designed for ambitiouswomen just like you who are
(10:27):
stuck in decision limbo, notbecause they're confused, not
because they don't have clarity,but because they're
disconnected from their ownauthority.
You don't need another coachingprogram.
You don't need anotherget-clear worksheet.
You need a powerful environmentwhere you can stop spiraling
and start deciding.
And so in this session, you'regoing to do exactly that.
(10:50):
You're going to name yourdecision, the one that's been
haunting you for a long time.
You're going to identify thetrust gaps that are keeping you
stuck in all of those freakingoptions that you don't need, and
you're going to reconnect toyour internal guidance and we're
going to help you make onereally powerful decision to move
from clarity and not from chaos.
It's live.
It's on May 6th.
(11:10):
Spots are limited for a reasonand I'm keeping it intimate and
intentional and real.
And if it's calling to you, goto the text link in the show
notes or DM me the word reset onany of my social media
platforms and I'll send you thedetails.
Self-trust is not a reward fordoing the right thing or for
(11:31):
doing enough or for keeping upwith the Joneses.
Self-trust is a right and if ithas been conditioned out of you
, you have every right toreclaim it as loudly and as
unapologetically as possible andwith conviction, because, my
love, you are not too much, youare not behind and you are not
(11:53):
indecisive.
You just haven't been in a roomthat reminded you of what
you've always known.
So come join me.
We are resetting the standardfor how powerful women lead
themselves and, like I alwayssay, you can have success
without the BS.
(12:13):
You just need to remindyourself that you're safe.
I'll see you inside and I'lltalk to you next week.
That's it for this week.
Thanks for listening to theBusiness Blasphemy Podcast.
We'll be back next week with anew episode, but in the meantime
, help a sister out bysubscribing and, if you're
feeling extra sassy, rating thispodcast, and don't forget to
(12:35):
share the podcast with others.
Head over tobusinessblasphemypodcastcom to
connect with us and learn more.
Thanks for listening andremember you can have success
without the BS.
Welcome to the Business Blasphemy Podcast,
where we question the sacredtruths of the online business
space and the reverence withwhich they're held.
I'm your host, sarah Khanspeaker, strategic consultant
and BS busting badass.
Join me each week as wechallenge the norms, trends and
overall bullshit status quo ofentrepreneurship to uncover what
it really takes to build thebusiness that you want to build
(00:23):
in a way that honors you, yourlife and your vision for what's
possible, and maybe piss off afew gurus along the way.
So if you're ready to commitbusiness blasphemy, let's do it.
Hello, hello blasphemers.
Welcome back to the BusinessBlasphemy Podcast, where we work
hard to burn down every lieyou've been sold about what it
(00:46):
takes to lead, succeed and beseen in a world that wasn't
built for women like us.
Last week, I attended an eventthat was being hosted by a new
friend that I made here locally.
She is truly a kindred spirit,very excited to do more things
with her, and the keynote wasbeing delivered by an incredible
woman.
Her name is Marion Coomeumi.
She's a veteran broadcasterhere in Canada, she's a
(01:08):
communications expert and shenow teaches at a local
university.
She made me realize that, eventhough I've got over 100
episodes under my belt.
Unless you're in my spaces,unless you've been listening
(01:32):
since episode one, you verylikely don't know who I am and,
quite frankly, I've neverintroduced myself formally,
which, in hindsight, was a hugeoverset on my part, so I'm very
sorry about that.
So welcome once again to theBusiness Blasphemy Podcast.
My name is Sarah Kahn.
I'm a leadership strategist andbusiness growth advisor dragon
tamer and your favoriteblasphemer.
I work with smart women who'veoutgrown the version of success
(01:55):
and leadership that they havebeen taught to follow yes,
taught.
I help them get clear on whatactually matters.
I help them get out ofhesitation hell.
And I help them get out ofhesitation hell and I help them
start leading from who they are,not who they've been trained to
be.
And today I want to talk aboutsomething that does not get
enough attention inconversations about success or
(02:19):
ambition or leadership orvisibility, and that is
self-trust.
Not the aesthetic Instagramversion of self-trust.
I don't even know what the fuckthat looks like, but there you
go.
I'm talking about the real,practical, strategic, embodied
kind of self-trust, like thekind that builds empires and
(02:40):
kills burnout right.
Like the kind that lets youlead from who you are like, from
your identity, your coreidentity, not from fear or
obligation or expectation or anyother thing that we have been
conditioned to believe isnecessary, right?
The kind that, in all honesty,most women are taught to
(03:01):
surrender as early as possible.
So you know what.
Let's start with what I'mactually talking about, okay?
So I've got my teacher hat onbear with me for a second.
Trust, by definition, is a firmbelief, like you truly are
convicted in the belief of thereliability, of the truth, of
(03:22):
the ability or the strength ofsomeone or something.
All right, that's trust.
So when we talk aboutself-trust, we're talking about
the ability to believe inyourself, in your own
reliability, your own truth,your own strength.
Self-trust is foundational,what you have and need at your
(03:46):
very core.
It's not something you earnwhen you've done enough.
It's not something you'resupposed to have from the moment
you open your eyes.
And here's the thing everyoneskirts around when they talk
about it.
Most women don't loseself-trust because they're weak
or whatever you want to put inthere.
They lose it because they'retaught to.
It gets conditioned out of us,right?
(04:09):
That's the sneaky part, or Idon't know, maybe it's not.
You decide, but you learn veryearly on to doubt yourself.
You know.
You say, oh, I'm cold.
Someone says no, you're not.
You say I don't like that.
Oh, don't be picky.
Oh, this doesn't feel right.
Oh, you're overreacting Everytime someone gaslights your
experience of something orchallenges your gut instinct or
(04:33):
punishes you for speaking up.
Right, that is a slow erosionof trust.
And by the time you are ahigh-achieving, multi-talented,
successful, ambitious woman,well, you've learned how to
succeed in spite of thatdisconnection, not because you
trust yourself, but because youbecome really excellent and
(04:54):
efficient at scanning the roomand adapting right and
outperforming expectations.
Now, I'm not going to lie,that's an incredibly powerful
skill.
That is me, in a nutshell, andI've accomplished really great
things because of that skill.
But it costs you everything whenyou are the one who needs to
make decisions at the end of theday, because now you are
(05:17):
probably an overthinker.
You probably second guesseverything that you think, so it
leads to more overthinking,right?
You're somebody who askseveryone else first what their
opinion is, what theirimpression is of something, what
they think you should do.
You're somebody who waits forclarity and that clarity never
comes.
You're probably somebody who'sinvested in a lot of clarity
(05:39):
sessions, right, had a lot ofconversations with biz besties
and coaches.
You're somebody who delaysaction because as hard as it's
going to be to hear this you'reterrified of getting it wrong.
Every decision feels like it'sso much bigger than it is and
there's so much risk involved init, and then, because there's
(06:01):
more, just wait, there's more.
And then you feel shame for notbeing more decisive when really
you were just taught that yourown knowing isn't enough.
This is a true and all toocommon experience for women in
pretty much every walk of life.
It starts young and itcontinues, especially the more
(06:23):
powerful you get or the higherup the ladder you go.
And woe betide you as anentrepreneur, because you don't
have the committee that we havein corporate or traditional
roles to help you mitigate therisk of decisions.
You're on your own with them,and so many people in the online
business space are ready topounce in and tell you oh, it's
your mindset or it's your vibe,your vibe is wrong or you need
(06:44):
to realign your aura.
I don't know if that's a thing.
I'm being facetious.
I think it's aligning yourchakras.
Sorry, I'm just being anasshole, but this really pisses
me off.
Here's what I need you to know.
Cultivating self-trust isabsolutely essential, and I say
cultivate very intentionally.
Self-trust is not a vibe, it'sa leadership strategy.
Now, a lot of people thinkleadership is a title or it's a
(07:06):
skill at best, but I'm here totell you it's not.
It's a strategy, right?
Strategy is something that alot of people in the online
business space don't reallyunderstand.
They deliver tactics, notstrategy.
Strategy is a deliberate,long-term plan of action and it
is put together to achieve aspecific outcome or advantage.
(07:28):
If that doesn't apply to realleadership, I will eat my
fucking hat and I don't wear ahat, but we can find one that
looks appetizing, if I'm wrong.
Leadership is not a to-do list.
It's not about reaction orreactivity.
It's about making intentional,high leverage decisions that
align with your goals and youridentity, and the identity is
(07:49):
the key piece, right, and that'sso that you're not just doing
busy work, you're actuallybuilding something of
consequence In leadership andbusiness strategy answers
questions like what are we goingto achieve, what are we going
to say yes to and what are wegoing to stop doing?
What are we going to say no to?
What resources or whatpositioning or what power do we
need to get these things done orto get to where we want to go,
(08:17):
and at the very core of it,strategy is clarity plus choice
plus commitment, and self-trustis absolutely necessary for all
three of those things clarity,choice and commitment Because
when you learn to trust yourselfand you have to learn it okay,
it is something that you have tocultivate and learn and when
you learn to trust yourself, youmove faster because you're not
constantly waiting for proofthat it's going to work or
guarantees right.
(08:38):
You make sharper decisionsbecause you're not operating
from fear.
There's a clarity and analignment and a conviction that
happens.
You take more aligned risks,because the reality is you
cannot avoid risk altogether.
The thing that you want is totake risks that are aligned with
your goals and your capacityand your identity, because
you're not performing safety forother people.
(09:00):
You also stop outsourcing yourclarity and your decision making
to people who don't hold orunderstand your vision.
And when you trust yourself,that is when the magic kicks in.
That is when your voice getslouder.
That is when your confidencefeels real, not practiced.
You take up space withoutapologizing for it or feeling
(09:24):
like you're sucking the air outof the room.
You make moves and take actionthat feels bold but also feels
true, because the moves are notperformative.
Imposter syndrome dies becauseyou're not performing.
You stop waiting for permissionbecause you've already given it
to yourself.
(09:45):
I have watched women changetheir entire business model
leave a job, raise their rates,take the stage I don't know
pivot hard, not because they hada better plan or because
someone told them, but becausethey trusted themselves to lead
themselves and everybody elsethrough it.
You want to know the wild part.
They always knew what theywanted.
(10:05):
They just needed someone tohelp them trust their own answer
.
And that is why I created theSelf-Trust Reset, because I see
that there is a huge need,especially today, for something
like this.
The Self-Trust Reset is a90-minute live, high-impact
session designed for ambitiouswomen just like you who are
(10:27):
stuck in decision limbo, notbecause they're confused, not
because they don't have clarity,but because they're
disconnected from their ownauthority.
You don't need another coachingprogram.
You don't need anotherget-clear worksheet.
You need a powerful environmentwhere you can stop spiraling
and start deciding.
And so in this session, you'regoing to do exactly that.
(10:50):
You're going to name yourdecision, the one that's been
haunting you for a long time.
You're going to identify thetrust gaps that are keeping you
stuck in all of those freakingoptions that you don't need, and
you're going to reconnect toyour internal guidance and we're
going to help you make onereally powerful decision to move
from clarity and not from chaos.
It's live.
It's on May 6th.
(11:10):
Spots are limited for a reasonand I'm keeping it intimate and
intentional and real.
And if it's calling to you, goto the text link in the show
notes or DM me the word reset onany of my social media
platforms and I'll send you thedetails.
Self-trust is not a reward fordoing the right thing or for
(11:31):
doing enough or for keeping upwith the Joneses.
Self-trust is a right and if ithas been conditioned out of you
, you have every right toreclaim it as loudly and as
unapologetically as possible andwith conviction, because, my
love, you are not too much, youare not behind and you are not
(11:53):
indecisive.
You just haven't been in a roomthat reminded you of what
you've always known.
So come join me.
We are resetting the standardfor how powerful women lead
themselves and, like I alwayssay, you can have success
without the BS.
(12:13):
You just need to remindyourself that you're safe.
I'll see you inside and I'lltalk to you next week.
That's it for this week.
Thanks for listening to theBusiness Blasphemy Podcast.
We'll be back next week with anew episode, but in the meantime
, help a sister out bysubscribing and, if you're
feeling extra sassy, rating thispodcast, and don't forget to
(12:35):
share the podcast with others.
Head over tobusinessblasphemypodcastcom to
connect with us and learn more.
Thanks for listening andremember you can have success
without the BS.
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