May 27, 2025 • 13 mins
They don't want you to know this, but --- you don't need to fix your mindset to make the strategy that high ticket coach sold you work. You need a strategy that actually fits YOUR identity.
In this mini-rant of an episode, I dismantle the self-help industry's most profitable lie: that you're the problem.
I break down why most strategies fail ambitious women, and why personal growth should NEVER be a prerequisite for progress.
If you're tired of trying to become someone else just to succeed, this one's for you.
*****
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The Business Blasphemy Podcast is sponsored by Corporate Rehab® Strategic Consulting.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, hello, blasphemers, welcome back to
Business Blasphemy, the onlypodcast where we don't just
challenge the status quo, we setthe fucker on fire All right.
Before we start, I want you tostick around because I have a
giveaway that I would love foryou to participate in, so stay
tuned for that.
I'm going to talk about thattowards the end of the episode,
but today I want to talk aboutsomething that has been
(00:20):
marinating in my mind for awhile, and it's something I see
over and over again, especiallywith ambitious women, the kind
of women who have doneabsolutely everything right.
They play the game better thanmost.
They still find themselvesstuck and second guessing and
doubting or cycling throughstrategy after strategy,
(00:44):
wondering why nothing reallyworks.
I want to start with somethingPeter Drucker said, and no, I
promise this is not going to bea business school lecture.
He famously said culture eatsstrategy for breakfast
Translation.
It doesn't matter how sharpyour strategy is, if the culture
of the organization doesn'tsupport it, it's going to fail,
(01:08):
period.
And I want you to think aboutthat not just in the context of
business or teams or companies,because it's valid there, but I
want you to think about it inthe context of you yeah, you,
because just like anorganization, you have a culture
(01:30):
too.
I call it your self-leadership,your internal culture, your
internal operating system.
It's your beliefs, your habits,your vision, your patterns,
your capacity, how you show upfor yourself and what you truly
think you are capable of.
(01:50):
And if that inner culture isn'taligned with the strategy
you're trying to execute, itdoesn't matter how smart the
strategy is, it doesn't matterhow expensive your coach was, it
doesn't matter how manycertifications you've collected
or how many hours you'vejournaled it's all going to fall
flat.
Here's what I see happening fartoo often.
(02:12):
You hire a coach, you buy acourse, you download a template,
you attend a mastermind, youget hyped on a new strategy and
when it doesn't work, you don'tquestion the strategy, you don't
question the coach, youquestion yourself.
You assume the failure meanssomething about your mindset
(02:33):
that maybe you're just notbelieving hard enough.
So what do you do?
You throw more money at mindsetwork.
You try to high-vibe your wayinto making the strategy feel
good.
You affirm your way intoalignment, you journal until
your fucking hand develops acramp and you get that claw
right.
And here's where I'm going tosay something that's going to
(02:56):
piss off some people, but I mean, that's what we're here for.
Right, you are doing itbackwards.
Mindset doesn't fix amisaligned strategy and you are
not the problem.
The problem is that you've beensold a lie that you need to
(03:19):
become a different person inorder to make the strategy work.
Now I want to take a littlesegue very quickly and I want to
talk for a minute about theself-help, self-improvement
industry, because we need tostop pretending that it is
innocent in all of this.
This industry has built anempire off of convincing
powerful, high-achieving womenand all people really but we're
(03:42):
talking about women today, thatthey're broken, that every
challenge you face is a mindsetissue, that your strategy failed
because you didn't journalenough, that your career stalled
because you didn't visualizehard enough, that your business
didn't take off or didn't growor didn't make the money that
they promised it would makebecause you weren't embodying
(04:02):
success energetically.
It's bullshit and, worse, it'sprofitable bullshit Because the
second you start questioning themethod, they redirect your
attention to yourself.
You didn't believe enough, youdidn't want it badly enough.
You must still be harboringsome kind of scarcity wound.
Meanwhile, nobody's looking atthe fact that the strategy they
(04:25):
sold you was never meant forsomeone with your life and your
responsibilities, and youridentity and your capacity and
your fucking reality.
This is how theself-improvement complex keeps
you stuck, because it makes yourgrowth the prerequisite for
progress.
It makes you wait until you'reperfect to start.
(04:47):
It turns your evolution into acondition instead of a natural
byproduct of movement.
You want to know why you feellike you're on a hamster wheel,
because they're selling youmindset as medicine, when what
you actually need is a mirrorand a map.
Right, you don't need to befixed.
You need a strategy that honorsand aligns with the truth of
(05:11):
who you are.
The most radical thing you cando in this climate isn't to
become a better version ofyourself.
It is to trust the version ofyou that already exists and
build from there.
Now don't get it twisted.
Don't get your knickers in atwist.
(05:31):
Don't get your panties in abunch.
I'm not against mindset work.
I do think it's important.
I think it's very necessary,but I also think it is a
lifelong process of growth andexpansion and healing.
It is not the starting pointfor execution.
It is not the thing that getsyou moving, because real mindset
(05:54):
shifts they take time.
Deep change takes years.
You don't become someone elseovernight just because you
filled a workbook out or youlistened to a pep talk on
YouTube.
And the women I work with theydon't have years to waste trying
to become someone else in orderto make a strategy work.
They're ready to move now.
(06:15):
And to move now you need astrategy that is built for who
you are today, not who you hopeto become three years from now.
That's why identity has to bethe starting point.
Not vision boarding your futureself or scripting your dream
life, but getting brutallyfucking honest about where you
are right now, who you are rightnow, what you believe, what you
(06:37):
value, what you're actuallycapable of holding, what your
capacity is emotionally,mentally, physically,
financially.
If your current identity andinternal culture are telling you
a different story than the oneyour strategy is built on, that
strategy is already dead in thewater.
So what do you do?
Instead?
(06:58):
You design strategy backwards,not from goal to action, but
from self to strategy.
You start by asking who am Iright now, in this season of
life?
What do I truly believe I cando right now?
What do I want?
Not what should I want, notwhat looks good, not what
(07:24):
everyone else is chasing, butwhat do I want right now?
What is my actual capacityright now?
Not my imagined, aspirational,fully fucking optimized capacity
, but what can I realisticallyhold and execute on and how can
I build a strategy that fitsthis version of me?
(07:46):
Because here's what happenswhen you build a strategy that
aligns with your real identity,you actually follow through.
You stop doubting everydecision you have to make.
You don't need motivation orhype, because you're grounded in
clarity and you start actuallyseeing momentum, not because
(08:09):
you're trying harder or hustlingharder, but because the
strategy fits.
It fits and here's the kickeras you move forward and your
identity starts to shift, as yougrow and evolve.
Well, guess what?
The strategy can grow andevolve with you, but it has to
start with who you are now.
(08:32):
The entire industry hasconditioned you to believe you
need to work on yourself beforeyou can make a move, that you
need to heal everything, aligneverything, fix everything
before you're allowed to takeaction.
That's pretty fuckingconvenient for people who sell
endless mindset programs, butfor you, that mindset trap is
keeping you stuck.
You don't need to be moreworthy, you don't need to become
(08:56):
a high vibe match.
You need to be strategic aboutthe reality of who you are right
now and stop expecting strategyto save you from doing the
inner work you want.
To stop spinning in circles.
Start with identity, anchorinto what is real and then build
from there.
That is what powerfulself-leadership looks like Now.
(09:21):
I mentioned something earlieryour capacity.
That's something we're going todig into soon, not today,
because there are five keycapacities that influence
whether a strategy is actuallygoing to work for you.
But I want you to let today'smessage sit and marinate.
Think about where you've beentrying to force a strategy that
was never actually designed foryou.
That was never actuallydesigned for you.
(09:45):
Think about where you've blamedyourself when the real issue
was actually misalignment, notlack of discipline or lack of
belief.
And I want you to ask yourselfwhat would change if I built a
strategy that actually fits meand if you're ready to start
making moves from that place.
You know where to find me, butuntil then, please stop
performing success.
Stop trying to fit intostrategies that weren't made for
(10:06):
you.
Build your own and then leadlike you mean it.
All right.
I want to very quickly mentionthe giveaway I talked about at
the beginning of the episode,and it is a giveaway for a copy
of my book Bite Size Blasphemythat is available on Amazon and
(10:27):
any other online retailer or anybrick and mortar store that has
an online component to it.
You can buy it from anywhere,but if you would love your own
copy, signed, sealed anddelivered straight to your door,
do me a favor.
Head to the show notes andclick the little send us a
message link and send me a text.
Send me a text message withyour name and where you're from
(10:49):
and your Instagram handle.
If you don't have an Instagramhandle, then put your email
address so that I know how toget in touch with you and what
I'm going to do is I am going todraw at the end of the month,
on May 31st.
Going to do is I am going todraw at the end of the month, on
May 31st, and I'm going toannounce on social media and I'm
going to send you a signed copyof my book.
So if you're interested inreading Bite-sized Blasphemy,
(11:11):
head to the show notes, send usa text and make sure I know who
you are, because that's usuallyhelpful.
So, social media handle, emailwho you are, where you're from
and thank you very much forlistening today.
Honestly, let's do this okay,because you deserve the success
(11:34):
that you actually want and, likeI say every week, you can have
success without the BS.
Let's fucking go.
Hello, hello, blasphemers, welcome back to
Business Blasphemy, the onlypodcast where we don't just
challenge the status quo, we setthe fucker on fire All right.
Before we start, I want you tostick around because I have a
giveaway that I would love foryou to participate in, so stay
tuned for that.
I'm going to talk about thattowards the end of the episode,
but today I want to talk aboutsomething that has been
(00:20):
marinating in my mind for awhile, and it's something I see
over and over again, especiallywith ambitious women, the kind
of women who have doneabsolutely everything right.
They play the game better thanmost.
They still find themselvesstuck and second guessing and
doubting or cycling throughstrategy after strategy,
(00:44):
wondering why nothing reallyworks.
I want to start with somethingPeter Drucker said, and no, I
promise this is not going to bea business school lecture.
He famously said culture eatsstrategy for breakfast
Translation.
It doesn't matter how sharpyour strategy is, if the culture
of the organization doesn'tsupport it, it's going to fail,
(01:08):
period.
And I want you to think aboutthat not just in the context of
business or teams or companies,because it's valid there, but I
want you to think about it inthe context of you yeah, you,
because just like anorganization, you have a culture
(01:30):
too.
I call it your self-leadership,your internal culture, your
internal operating system.
It's your beliefs, your habits,your vision, your patterns,
your capacity, how you show upfor yourself and what you truly
think you are capable of.
(01:50):
And if that inner culture isn'taligned with the strategy
you're trying to execute, itdoesn't matter how smart the
strategy is, it doesn't matterhow expensive your coach was, it
doesn't matter how manycertifications you've collected
or how many hours you'vejournaled it's all going to fall
flat.
Here's what I see happening fartoo often.
(02:12):
You hire a coach, you buy acourse, you download a template,
you attend a mastermind, youget hyped on a new strategy and
when it doesn't work, you don'tquestion the strategy, you don't
question the coach, youquestion yourself.
You assume the failure meanssomething about your mindset
(02:33):
that maybe you're just notbelieving hard enough.
So what do you do?
You throw more money at mindsetwork.
You try to high-vibe your wayinto making the strategy feel
good.
You affirm your way intoalignment, you journal until
your fucking hand develops acramp and you get that claw
right.
And here's where I'm going tosay something that's going to
(02:56):
piss off some people, but I mean, that's what we're here for.
Right, you are doing itbackwards.
Mindset doesn't fix amisaligned strategy and you are
not the problem.
The problem is that you've beensold a lie that you need to
(03:19):
become a different person inorder to make the strategy work.
Now I want to take a littlesegue very quickly and I want to
talk for a minute about theself-help, self-improvement
industry, because we need tostop pretending that it is
innocent in all of this.
This industry has built anempire off of convincing
powerful, high-achieving womenand all people really but we're
(03:42):
talking about women today, thatthey're broken, that every
challenge you face is a mindsetissue, that your strategy failed
because you didn't journalenough, that your career stalled
because you didn't visualizehard enough, that your business
didn't take off or didn't growor didn't make the money that
they promised it would makebecause you weren't embodying
(04:02):
success energetically.
It's bullshit and, worse, it'sprofitable bullshit Because the
second you start questioning themethod, they redirect your
attention to yourself.
You didn't believe enough, youdidn't want it badly enough.
You must still be harboringsome kind of scarcity wound.
Meanwhile, nobody's looking atthe fact that the strategy they
(04:25):
sold you was never meant forsomeone with your life and your
responsibilities, and youridentity and your capacity and
your fucking reality.
This is how theself-improvement complex keeps
you stuck, because it makes yourgrowth the prerequisite for
progress.
It makes you wait until you'reperfect to start.
(04:47):
It turns your evolution into acondition instead of a natural
byproduct of movement.
You want to know why you feellike you're on a hamster wheel,
because they're selling youmindset as medicine, when what
you actually need is a mirrorand a map.
Right, you don't need to befixed.
You need a strategy that honorsand aligns with the truth of
(05:11):
who you are.
The most radical thing you cando in this climate isn't to
become a better version ofyourself.
It is to trust the version ofyou that already exists and
build from there.
Now don't get it twisted.
Don't get your knickers in atwist.
(05:31):
Don't get your panties in abunch.
I'm not against mindset work.
I do think it's important.
I think it's very necessary,but I also think it is a
lifelong process of growth andexpansion and healing.
It is not the starting pointfor execution.
It is not the thing that getsyou moving, because real mindset
(05:54):
shifts they take time.
Deep change takes years.
You don't become someone elseovernight just because you
filled a workbook out or youlistened to a pep talk on
YouTube.
And the women I work with theydon't have years to waste trying
to become someone else in orderto make a strategy work.
They're ready to move now.
(06:15):
And to move now you need astrategy that is built for who
you are today, not who you hopeto become three years from now.
That's why identity has to bethe starting point.
Not vision boarding your futureself or scripting your dream
life, but getting brutallyfucking honest about where you
are right now, who you are rightnow, what you believe, what you
(06:37):
value, what you're actuallycapable of holding, what your
capacity is emotionally,mentally, physically,
financially.
If your current identity andinternal culture are telling you
a different story than the oneyour strategy is built on, that
strategy is already dead in thewater.
So what do you do?
Instead?
(06:58):
You design strategy backwards,not from goal to action, but
from self to strategy.
You start by asking who am Iright now, in this season of
life?
What do I truly believe I cando right now?
What do I want?
Not what should I want, notwhat looks good, not what
(07:24):
everyone else is chasing, butwhat do I want right now?
What is my actual capacityright now?
Not my imagined, aspirational,fully fucking optimized capacity
, but what can I realisticallyhold and execute on and how can
I build a strategy that fitsthis version of me?
(07:46):
Because here's what happenswhen you build a strategy that
aligns with your real identity,you actually follow through.
You stop doubting everydecision you have to make.
You don't need motivation orhype, because you're grounded in
clarity and you start actuallyseeing momentum, not because
(08:09):
you're trying harder or hustlingharder, but because the
strategy fits.
It fits and here's the kickeras you move forward and your
identity starts to shift, as yougrow and evolve.
Well, guess what?
The strategy can grow andevolve with you, but it has to
start with who you are now.
(08:32):
The entire industry hasconditioned you to believe you
need to work on yourself beforeyou can make a move, that you
need to heal everything, aligneverything, fix everything
before you're allowed to takeaction.
That's pretty fuckingconvenient for people who sell
endless mindset programs, butfor you, that mindset trap is
keeping you stuck.
You don't need to be moreworthy, you don't need to become
(08:56):
a high vibe match.
You need to be strategic aboutthe reality of who you are right
now and stop expecting strategyto save you from doing the
inner work you want.
To stop spinning in circles.
Start with identity, anchorinto what is real and then build
from there.
That is what powerfulself-leadership looks like Now.
(09:21):
I mentioned something earlieryour capacity.
That's something we're going todig into soon, not today,
because there are five keycapacities that influence
whether a strategy is actuallygoing to work for you.
But I want you to let today'smessage sit and marinate.
Think about where you've beentrying to force a strategy that
was never actually designed foryou.
That was never actuallydesigned for you.
(09:45):
Think about where you've blamedyourself when the real issue
was actually misalignment, notlack of discipline or lack of
belief.
And I want you to ask yourselfwhat would change if I built a
strategy that actually fits meand if you're ready to start
making moves from that place.
You know where to find me, butuntil then, please stop
performing success.
Stop trying to fit intostrategies that weren't made for
(10:06):
you.
Build your own and then leadlike you mean it.
All right.
I want to very quickly mentionthe giveaway I talked about at
the beginning of the episode,and it is a giveaway for a copy
of my book Bite Size Blasphemythat is available on Amazon and
(10:27):
any other online retailer or anybrick and mortar store that has
an online component to it.
You can buy it from anywhere,but if you would love your own
copy, signed, sealed anddelivered straight to your door,
do me a favor.
Head to the show notes andclick the little send us a
message link and send me a text.
Send me a text message withyour name and where you're from
(10:49):
and your Instagram handle.
If you don't have an Instagramhandle, then put your email
address so that I know how toget in touch with you and what
I'm going to do is I am going todraw at the end of the month,
on May 31st.
Going to do is I am going todraw at the end of the month, on
May 31st, and I'm going toannounce on social media and I'm
going to send you a signed copyof my book.
So if you're interested inreading Bite-sized Blasphemy,
(11:11):
head to the show notes, send usa text and make sure I know who
you are, because that's usuallyhelpful.
So, social media handle, emailwho you are, where you're from
and thank you very much forlistening today.
Honestly, let's do this okay,because you deserve the success
(11:34):
that you actually want and, likeI say every week, you can have
success without the BS.
Let's fucking go.
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