June 24, 2025 • 47 mins
You know the invisible scripts that shape how ambitious women are supposed to show up in business? This week I'm joined by Bri Seeley, success strategist and certified hypnotherapist to talk about how we over-identify with productivity, sacrifice joy for output, and sabotage ourselves without outdated beliefs.
From entrepreneurial midlife crisis to redefining ambition without burnout, we cover it all. Bri shares what she's had to sacrifice, how identity work changed her success trajectory, and why "doing less" isn't laziness -- it's strategy.
If you've ever felt like you have to earn your rest or prove your worth by checking off another box, this episode will shift something deep. And maybe even piss you off in the best way.
Guest Bio:
TEDx Speaker, Success Coach and award winning business woman Bri Seeley works with ambitious, high achievers to defy reality by bringing their most unrealistic goals to life without overworking, under living or sacrificing themselves for their audacious visions. Bri uses her signature DEFY process to help you design and create long-term and sustainable success – unapologetically.
You may have seen her winning awards for Entrepreneur of the Year, Business Coach of the Year, Business Woman of the Year and Los Angeles Mayor’s Small Business of the Year or on any number of press outlets such as Good Morning America, The TODAY Show, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Women’s Health and more.
Connect with Bri:
- www.briseeley.com
- https://www.instagram.com/briseeley/
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/entrepreneur-coach-bri-seeley/
- https://www.facebook.com/BriSeeleyOfficial
- https://www.youtube.com/@briseeleytv
- TedX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA83nI3ve2M
Love what you heard? Let’s stay connected!
Subscribe to my newsletter for bold insights on leadership, strategy, and building your legacy — straight to your inbox every week.
Follow me on LinkedIn for more no-nonsense advice on leading with power and purpose.
And if you’re ready to dive even deeper, grab a copy of my book Bite-Sized Blasphemy and ignite your inner fire to do life and business your way.
The Business Blasphemy Podcast is sponsored by Corporate Rehab® Strategic Consulting.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Business Blasphemy Podcast,
where we question the sacredtruths of the online business
space and the reverence withwhich they're held.
I'm your host, sarah Khanspeaker, strategic consultant
and BS busting badass.
Join me each week as wechallenge the norms, trends and
overall bullshit status quo ofentrepreneurship to uncover what
it really takes to build thebusiness that you want to build
(00:23):
in a way that honors you, yourlife and your vision for what's
possible, and maybe piss off afew gurus along the way.
So if you're ready to commitbusiness blasphemy, let's do it.
Hello, hello blasphemers,welcome back.
We have a treat for you today.
I mean, come on, we have atreat every week, but this is an
extra special treat.
I have known my guest today fora while now I'd say probably a
(00:46):
couple of years and let me tellyou when I say she's like the
best kept secret, but she's notreally a secret, and I've just
been holding out on having heron the podcast because, honestly
, it's not fair to keep her tomyself, but I also didn't want
to share because I'm an assholesometimes.
Welcoming to the show my friendand yours, brie Seeley.
(01:06):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hello, I know I think we met in like 2021 or 2020.
Time is a flat circle.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I know it's been a few years, yeah, and we were in
a mastermind together and like Ijust I don't know what it was,
but I instantly clicked with youbecause you have a very similar
no bullshit straight from thehip, but also very grounded in
like I know what I'm talkingabout because I've walked the
walk kind of business ethos.
(01:37):
So I don't have people on thepodcast that I don't genuinely
respect.
And I'm really excited to havethis conversation today because
knowing you, you knowing me andjust what has been going on in
the world lately, particularlyas it relates to women in
general and the kind of, youknow, agency and advocacy work
(02:00):
that we have to do in over andabove just living day to day,
I'm really excited about thisconversation.
But first can you pleaseintroduce yourself to everybody.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yes.
So hello everyone.
I'm Brie Seeley, I am a successstrategist and I also brainwash
people for their success.
I'm a certified hypnotherapistas well and I really combine in
my work the inner and the outer.
If you don't believe you can besuccessful, we can put together
(02:30):
the best strategy in the worldand it's never going to work for
you because, guess what?
You're probably going toself-sabotage if you even try to
do it in the first place.
So I get people subconscious onboard with where they're at,
where they're going, whatthey're wanting, and then from
there we look at the action plan.
I'm very different in that alot of strategists will just go
(02:52):
in and give you an action planand walk away.
And while I can do that and Ihave done that and for certain
people I will continue to dothat but I know the power of the
subconscious and if we're notalso addressing your rulebook,
your operation system, yourguiding principles, like you,
can't fight against 95% of yourbrain every day and win.
(03:15):
So yeah, that's what I do inthe world.
I brainwash people and then Ialso give them success
strategies, and it's lovely.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I love that and you know it's funny because I do
tend to rant a lot about mindsetas a whole and to contextualize
it for those of you who arenewer to the show.
I do have a huge issue withmindset coaches, because a lot
of the mainstream coaching ismindset focused only, like if
you just believe in it enoughyou can be successful.
(03:43):
But what's different about whatBree is saying is that you have
to have the other part of it aswell, like it's two sides of
the same coin.
Mindset doesn't work withoutstrategy, strategy doesn't work
without mindset.
You have to have them togetherand I think that's the nuanced
difference.
So I'm really glad that youyou're honest about the fact
that, yeah, I'll brainwash youand make you feel good about
(04:04):
stuff, but you're still gonnahave to put in the fucking work.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
End of the day, yes, also that, and for me, too, part
of like what I've reallylearned over entrepreneurship
and I called myself anentrepreneur coach for many,
many, many years instead of abusiness coach is because it's
about the person, right like ifyour identity is.
I actually worked with a womanseveral years ago and I
(04:26):
unfortunately didn't find thisout until like the very last
session we had, and I couldn'tfigure out why nothing was
working for her.
Her identity was her mom hadtold her at a very young age
that being successful is selfish.
Oh, and so she would show upevery week and be like I need
actions to take, I need thingsto do, and I would give her all
these brilliant, brilliantstrategies to do, and she would
(04:48):
do none of them.
And it's truly that identitypiece.
If your identity is such thatyou don't believe you can be
successful, being successful isselfish.
Only billionaires are greedy orall those things.
If that's your identity and theoperating system from which you
are operating, you literallycannot create.
(05:10):
You cannot surpass youridentity.
So there's a quote that I sayall the time is that like people
think that they can rise totheir goals, but the truth is we
all actually fall to ouridentity.
So, whatever that identity pieceis and I'll tell, I'll be
really honest with y'all.
We're recording this at the endof April.
I'm in the middle of Arkansasright now for two weeks by
(05:33):
myself, house sitting forcomplete strangers that have a
dog, two cats and 16 chickens,because I'm here doing my own
identity work, because there arepieces of me that are not on
board with where I want to go inthe world and if I don't do
this identity work, I'm nevergoing to fucking get there.
So I don't, like Sarah said,like I don't just preach this
(05:55):
stuff.
I know this stuff works andthat it's true because I've
studied the science behind itand because I fucking do it
myself.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And I think that's the key, like I've talked about
this on the podcast for the lastfew weeks, probably longer than
that, but you know, I've beengoing through a similar journey
myself and one of the things Iremember saying this to a client
years ago and I reminded myselfof it recently and it's this
idea that, because I'm a verypragmatic person, like you know,
give me the, give me the thing,I can figure out how to do it
(06:25):
and you need to take action.
But I realized that you cancollect as much strategy and
action and you know the stepsand the whys and the wherefores,
but if you don't actually geton board with it, like you said,
from a belief perspective,right, if you've got all the
strategy in the world, you'vehad all the clarity sessions and
(06:46):
you're still like I'm notmaking progress, it's not the
strategy, it's not the clarityyou have, that there's something
holding you back from a beliefperspective.
So, yeah, I can relate to that.
The last few months have reallybeen about who am I and what do
I actually want, but then, do Ibelieve that I'm capable of
attaining it and am I worthy ofit?
(07:07):
Like, do I actually believethis is something?
Because what you were sayingabout your client.
I've been told a lot in my lifethat you know people like us.
We're not rich, we live to ourmeans and that's it.
We don't need millions, wedon't need more than our means,
and that was like a really,really big belief hurdle to
overcome, because, when I lookback at my history, we've always
(07:31):
had just enough money, do youknow what I mean?
Like just enough to coverwhatever calamity, whatever
thing fell, but we never hadmore, and it's a fascinating
correlation.
But you're absolutely ontosomething I want to ask you,
then, in this vein what doesambition mean to you.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So I have also been unpacking a lot ambition, and
part of it is for myself andpart of it is I work with highly
ambitious people.
I always say that like I'm theperson people call when they're
ready to turn their impossibledream into their inevitable
future.
Like those are the people Iwork with.
In that journey and in my ownjourney, I've recognized the
(08:12):
ways in which ambition hassabotaged me and hurt me and
left me with a lot ofdisappointment, and similarly
for my clients.
Right, we want not just theworld, we don't want to shoot
for the moon and reach the starsLike we want the entire fucking
(08:33):
multiverse.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Speaking of.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Dr Strange, as we were just talking about, like
that's what we want and I knowthat we also want it yesterday.
So I've really been unpacking,like what does it look like to
want more than just getting by,like you just said, without that
ambition, killing me in theprocess, right, like stripping
(09:01):
me of who I am in the world,really having me overworking and
underliving, like what doesthat mean and what does that
look like?
So I tend to kind of straddletwo worlds a lot, and one is the
future world.
I did my StrengthsFinder goshprobably close to 20 years ago
now, and Futuristic was one ofmy top strengths Surprise
(09:23):
surprise.
But the thing that I've learnedis, because I live so much in
the future, it takes me awayfrom my life now, and I don't
know if you've ever noticed thefuture actually, like tomorrow
never comes, it's always today.
The future is an abstractconstruct.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
So I have really started being like okay, yes,
that's the future.
And also, how am I presentright now, in this moment, in
what I'm focusing my attentionon right now, while also giving
myself permission to elicit thefeelings that my future self
feels, because a lot ofambitious people also wait to
(10:04):
say well, I'll feel successfulwhen, or I'll feel abundant when
, the thing is a littlequantum-y, is like what came
first, the chicken or the egg?
Did the success come first andthen you felt successful?
Or did you feel successfulfirst and then the success
followed that right successful,or did you feel successful first
(10:26):
and then the success followedthat right?
I'm of the latter camp, and I'malso of the camp that, like I
don't want my journey to feellike shit on the way to my
success or to my abundance orany of those things.
So I have this vision of whereI want to go in the future,
while also anchoring it andexperiencing bits and pieces of
it in the present moment.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
So what have you had to sacrifice for your ambition?
And like, where are you drawingthe line these days in terms of
what you're willing tosacrifice?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I mean, really, when you and I met, I was definitely
in the overworking underlivingcamp, definitely in the
overworking underliving camp,and I sacrificed a lot of
relationships.
I've missed friends' weddingsBecause I overworked and because
I was so committed to my vision.
I have sacrificed my financialhealth in pursuit of my vision.
(11:21):
I mean a lot of things.
I've sacrificed my personalhealth in pursuit of my ambition
and nowadays I'm just notreally willing to sacrifice any
of those things.
So I got married about seven oreight months ago.
Congratulations again, by theway, thank you.
I knew even before I met him.
(11:43):
I knew that something was goingto have to shift because I
didn't want to overwork myselfthrough my marriage, like I was
single for 12 years.
So getting to that point whereI found someone that I actually
wanted to commit to was a bigdeal and I don't want to miss
(12:04):
that.
Now are there seasons andsprints and, like I said, I just
left Tulsa for three weeks tocome do my own thing.
But he also conveniently got apromotion at the same time and
is really having to overworkright now in his job because
he's getting set up for hispromotion right.
So there are seasons, but forthe most part.
(12:25):
We have date night every singleTuesday.
We go out to eat at least oncea week.
We spend time together on theweekends, right?
Friends are non-negotiable tome.
My health is non-negotiable tome.
I just got done doing asix-week cleanse.
I told you I've had frozenshoulder and I, every Monday, go
(12:46):
to see my bodywork practitioner.
I have non-negotiable morningswhere I'm in my spaciousness,
communing with my higher self,my vision, my meditating,
journaling, all those things.
So in the past it's been thatmy business has held more of a
priority than me and what I'verealized is that without me,
(13:10):
there is no fucking business.
Exactly, and most of theambitious people that come to me
are so burnt out, they're attheir last, like string on their
rope.
They're like because they havesacrificed themselves so long in
pursuit of this big vision.
And I've just really beenplaying with over the last few
(13:30):
years.
Like what if it wasn't aneither or conversation?
What if I could be ambitiousnow?
Maybe not at the like 165% thatI was running at before, but
maybe at, like you know, like85%, and then the other 25% is
personal.
We're still working out thosepercentages.
(13:51):
But like what if I couldredistribute that energy so that
the journey.
Feels better I have betterrelationships in my life.
Feels better I have betterrelationships in my life.
My wealth means more?
I don't know.
I've just really been playingwith all of those questions and
(14:12):
some days I feel like I havemore questions than I have
answers, but I'm reallycommitted to finding a new
pathway because I feel like I'mhaving a midlife crisis, like an
entrepreneurial midlife crisis,and almost every single
colleague in my life is at thesame point in their journeys as
(14:33):
well.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, gosh, so much of what you said resonates and I
think people who are listeningare probably feeling the same
way, because I think a lot ofwomen, particularly who have
been in business for a while,who have had careers you know
balancing home life and career,I think a lot of women,
particularly who have been inbusiness for a while, who've had
careers you know balancing homelife and career I think a lot
of us feel this way.
This idea of you know we'vebeen told we have to choose.
(14:54):
We have to put all our eggs ineither basket.
You can't have it all.
And then you had the swing tothe other end of the pendulum.
Is that the phrase?
The pendulum swing?
Yeah, yeah, um, you know thatpendulum, yeah, yeah, you know
that well.
Who wants it all, like you, canhave a little bit of everything.
Nobody wants to have all of itand it's like well, why?
Why is it such a binaryperspective?
So I would love to know whatyour advice would be like, how?
(15:19):
Because I know I've, I'vealways felt like you.
You only value what you makevisible in your life.
Right, we talk about values, wetalk about priorities, but
unless they're front and center,it's probably not a priority or
a value in this season of life.
So what advice would you giveor how would you suggest
starting to boundary yourambition, especially if you're
(15:40):
somebody who has been fullthrottle in their ambition, like
, how do you now start toboundary it without really
sacrificing the end?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
goal.
So part of it is some identitywork, like we talked about
earlier.
Right, we have to decoupleourselves and kind of release
that hustle mentality that hasbeen just so ingrained
subconsciously into our world.
Ambitious people also tend toplace their worth and their
(16:10):
value on how much they get done.
So we need to uncouple thisidea that we have to do more in
order to have more, because wedon't.
You actually get to do less tohave more, which is super cool.
And we have to find a newidentity where our worth and our
value is not tied to ourproductivity, because when our
(16:35):
worth and value is tied to ourproductivity, no amount I don't
know if anyone else has noticedthis no amount of getting shit
done makes us feel like we'vedone enough.
There is no quantitative valuefor enough and our brain will
always trick us into the factthat we didn't do enough.
So we have to decouple thosethings and we have to find worth
(16:55):
and value in who we are ratherthan what we get done.
So that's the first thing, andthat just takes a lot of
evaluation, a lot of journaling,getting present, being
observatory and just reallyreflecting on like, why do I do
this thing?
Why do I have a to-do list thatwhen I get a hundred things
(17:17):
done, magically a hundred morethings show up on it Like how is
this the thing?
And then we have to reallystart looking at and this is the
part where I love, because thisis data-based, this is like
actual I don't want to sayscience based, but it's like
based in real, tangible things.
It's like we all know we've allheard that 20% of our actions
(17:39):
result in 80% of our results.
So what if you could simplyfocus more on that 20% and do
less and and create betterresults?
And the way you do that againis reflection Okay, cool, it's
Friday.
What actions did I take thisweek that actually produced
(18:00):
results?
What actions did I take thisweek where, literally, it was
like crickets, cool, okay.
Now, going into next week, whatdo I need to do differently?
Am I willing to redo all thoseactions that produced crickets?
Or what if I just took the 20%and did double that?
(18:20):
So even if you just doubled the20%, notice how that's only
still 40%.
So you still have 60% to playwith.
And if you want to take moreactions, you can like whatever,
but then it's rooted in data,like what is working for you
what's not working for you, andcan you give yourself permission
(18:41):
to not do the things that don'twork for you and decouple your
value and worth from the amountof actions you take?
What if it was about qualityand not quantity of actions you
take?
What if it was about qualityand not quantity of actions?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And that's so important because, when you
think about it, so many of usoperate on autopilot.
You're talking about evaluatewhat you did this week, look at
how that pans out for next week,but so few of us actually do
that.
We run to the finish line everyweek.
We collapse or, like me, dolaundry on Sunday and then again
, you know, again Monday morningyou're like full throttle and
(19:18):
there's very little time to sortof sit and evaluate.
That is something that I'veI've definitely started to do
over the last year take thatFriday afternoon and really kind
of sit down and evaluate.
But one of the things that Iknow personally I've struggled
with and I man this.
This feels like a huge failureon my own part as a mother, but
my 16-year-old came to me theother day and she was just
(19:42):
really down like really sad, andI was like, baby, what's going
on?
And she couldn't articulate itand you know it took a while to
get it out of her.
But she goes I haven't doneanything this week.
I haven't done anything thisweek and I was like what do you
mean?
You haven't done anything.
And she's like I haven't doneanything, like I've just sat
around and read books and blah,blah, blah.
(20:08):
And I will never forget how, thefirst time I felt that myself
right, this idea that, yeah,okay, you're saying Bree, like
do 20%, slow down, you know,only focus on quality versus
quantity.
But we are so conditioned tofeel uncomfortable when we have
space.
And I mean, I've worked withclients where we have cleared
their calendar and given themthat white space back that
everybody talks about, and theyimmediately feel like they need
(20:30):
to fill it back up, exactly.
So how do we start changingthat very deeply ingrained
belief that, if I am not andspoiler alert, this is actually
what my TED talks about but thisidea that my value as a human
being, my worth as a human being, lies only in being of value to
other things and people, andconstantly doing, how do you
(20:52):
start shifting that?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
So here's the good news we're starting to shift it
right now.
So for those of you that arelistening, congratulations.
This is step one, huzzah.
The first step to any shift orany change is awareness, and my
clients like to always say damnit, brie, once I know something,
(21:16):
I can't unknow it and I'm likeI'm not sorry.
So the first thing is awareness.
Right now, in this moment,every single one of us is
becoming aware of ourprogramming.
We're becoming aware of howuncomfortable that spaciousness
is, and now we get to go out andstart making changes to it.
(21:38):
So I'm going to challengeeveryone I know you didn't
listen to this podcast forhomework and I'm real sorry, and
I actually, to help me cementthis into my being, because
spaciousness is a key ingredientin success Period.
(21:58):
Full stop, end of sentence,microphone off.
I actually schedule spaciousnessinto my calendar.
Now you can't override it, youcan't snooze it, you have to
actually sit with it.
And this is going to look abunch of different ways.
Spaciousness can be reading abook, but a fiction book, y'all.
(22:22):
A fiction book, no businessbooks.
During the spaciousness time itcould be doing a puzzle.
It could be taking a walkwithout a podcast in your ears.
Y'all Shock, horror.
I know right, it could besitting at a fire.
It could be just having likesmelling a cup of tea.
(22:46):
It could be like connect inwith your senses and just let
yourself be Now.
If you need to start with fiveminutes, start with five minutes
.
You're not gonna be able tostart with three hour blocks.
Start with five minutes.
Start with five minutes.
You're not going to be able tostart with three hour blocks.
Start with five minutes.
But don't override it.
And it has to become a muscle,just like you would train a
muscle in a gym.
(23:07):
Our brains do not changeovernight.
They change through repetition.
When I do hypnosis with people,we do the hypnosis once and
then there is a 30-day processthat happens after it, so that
you're literally repeating toyour brain what you want and
what you're moving towards,rather than the old narrative,
(23:27):
right?
So repetition is key.
So if you're even schedulingfive minutes into your calendar
every day, I don't heaven forbid, go eat lunch, not at your
laptop, I don't care, but like,turn it off for just five
minutes.
Yeah, I, that is where.
(23:48):
So for me, I'm I'm deeply,deeply, deeply spiritual and I
firmly believe that I amco-creating with something that
is way the fuck bigger than me.
Every day, when we are busy,when our brains are full, when
our calendars are back to back,to back to back, the universe
can't get in and talk to me.
(24:08):
My higher self, goddess,whatever you call it, whatever
you call it, cannot commune withme if I'm not making time for
it.
So for me, those dates are toget guidance, get insights, get
next steps from a perspectivethat, as a human, I physically
cannot have but I need becauseI'm aiming for the multiverse.
(24:33):
Y y'all yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I love that.
A couple things came up.
So, first of all, you talkedabout books.
I, just as an aside, I don'tremember if I told you Addie
LaRue Beautiful, oh my God, theway I mourned when that book was
over.
If you haven't read theInvisible Life of Addie LaRue,
like honestly, go and get it.
It was so good, oh my God like,honestly, go and get it.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
It was so good, oh my god.
And okay, I'm telling you, goon.
I that is the one book I regretreading because I will never be
able to read it for a firsttime again.
That book was so good.
I literally the book I'mreading right now.
I chose because it has the samefont as addy larue and I'm like
it's gotta be connected somehow.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
It's gotta be as good well, it's because that's how
you described it to me.
And so a little bit ofbackstory.
And this actually speaks to thesecond thing I wanted to talk
about.
So y'all know my phone gotstolen when I was in Barcelona.
It was traumatic, it was awful.
Also, my phone was stolen andthat's when I kind of put out
the call, like do you guys haveany book recommendations, or
whatever because I don't have aphone for the next two weeks and
(25:34):
I don't know what to do withmyself and I'm in a different
country and Brie very kindly,very graciously, recommended the
Invisible Life of Addie LaRueand that's exactly how you
explained it.
Like that, you will never beable to experience it again for
the first time, and it was.
It was such a unique way ofputting something and I don't
know if that kind of set off thedomino of what happened later.
(25:54):
But when you're talking abouttaking five minutes and savoring
the cup of tea, I've told thestory a few times.
I don't know offline, but I wasin a cafe in Leeds because we
went to England afterwards tovisit my husband's family and
I'm sitting in this cafe andthey serve this Kashmiri pink
tea and it's like a very uniquetea.
It's hard to make and to get itauthentically is really, really
(26:17):
challenging, and so we foundthis place that does it, and my
husband's with me, my kids arewith me, they're all on their
devices and I'm like fuckers,like I don't have a phone.
What am I supposed to do?
Just sit and drink my fuckingtea.
Okay, so I sat and drank my teaand the fact that there was
nothing to distract me that Ihad to actually savor the taste
and feel the warmth and look atthe environment that I was in.
(26:40):
When I tell you and I am notjust saying this for showmanship
it was that quietness and thatsort of connection to like being
in the present moment thatcracked open a realization and
like a truth that I have beenchasing for the last six months.
(27:01):
It was the catalyst in me goingoh, this is what I meant to be
doing here and it's superunrelated, like I wasn't looking
for that in the moment, butI've been chasing it for so long
and trying to force it and,like you said, reading the books
and the podcasts and going forwalks with stuff in my ear.
And it was in that quiet momentwhere I was like you know what?
(27:22):
I'm just going to sit here andenjoy my tea and let my brain
kind of do what my brain doesbest.
And it was.
It was fucking magical.
So I think that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I think that's listening to that story
seriously like and that is, thatis the magic, because all the
noise you can't hear the whisperof yourself, yeah, through all
the noise, and like that'sreally where the magic lies is
like I mean I've taken it to theextreme literally two weeks by
myself in a tiny home with a dog, two cats and 16 chickens which
(28:02):
, by the way, I'm also terrifiedof birds, but that is an
entirely different story.
I mean I've spoken to maybefive people in the last week and
I have a week left, and likeI'm here to just be fucking
quiet and listen because theguidance that I need and crave
and want right now cannot befound out there.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, it absolutely can't.
And I think the other thing,too, is that, like once you do
find that whatever you'relooking for in that quiet, it's
not a one and done deal right,like this is why you're saying
like you have to build this intoyour schedule, because if you
have the realization and thenyou're like, okay, got it, and
then you go full throttle again,you lose it.
There's no space to actuallyallow it to expand.
(28:47):
Right?
I want to quickly switch gearsfor one second.
I would really love to know,because I don't know if we've
ever talked about this, but whatis your villain origin story?
How did you come toentrepreneurship?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
It's all my mom's fault.
I love her so much.
So a few things.
One she definitely raised me.
I was an only child for 10years, so I was definitely
raised for like, what do youwant for dinner?
What movie do you want to watch?
Like I got to call all theshots when I was a child, and
even down to when my grandmotherwould take care of me and my
(29:22):
cousin.
If we wanted different thingsfor lunch, she would make both
of us different lunches.
Like I was a very spoiled childand I just got what I wanted.
I had a vision and I was handedit.
What I wanted.
I had a vision and I was handedit.
(29:42):
My mom then left a corporate jobwhere she was being underpaid
and disrespected and her bosswas having an affair with one of
her co-workers and like allthese things.
She left that when my sisterwas born and started a daycare
and basically got to startcalling her own shots.
Well, I helped out with thedaycare when I got home from
school and then they bought acandy store and I started
working the candy store and inthe summer she would toss me the
keys and be like, don't burnthe place down, I'm going to be
(30:04):
at the pool and so you know.
I think it was a combination ofa few things One, being super
stubborn and just like dancingto the beat of my own drum all
the time, and then, two, seeingthe freedom that happened with
being able to call your ownshots and make your own schedule
(30:25):
and not have to deal with thebullshit of coworkers and
hierarchies and bureaucracy andall those things, and then mix
all of that with me moving toWashington State after getting
two fashion degrees and I don'tknow if you know this Washington
State is not a fashion mecca.
Really, it was like Patagoniaor this crazy bridal designer
(30:52):
who was fucking nuts or workingin retail and I was like I don't
want any of those things.
So I got a day job and starteddoing fashion on the side and
those one-off bridesmaidsdresses and flower girl dresses
and prom dresses turned into myfirst collection and awards and
my first runway show, which Iwon an award for, and selling on
(31:15):
Zapposcom and dressing ToniBraxton and all these things.
And by the point that I let goof my day job then I was like,
yeah, I'm never.
I'm never doing that again.
I had my day job for aboutseven years of my eight years of
my fashion label and then storyfor a different day.
(31:36):
I was meditating 10 years agoand the universe was like
fashion isn't it?
Shut it down, walk away.
And that's when I was guided tothis business.
But entrepreneurship is.
I don't know if I'll ever notbe an entrepreneur.
I fantasize about it sometimesand then I'm like yeah, no, I'd
(31:56):
hate that it's like you saidearlier.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
right, it's like you can't unknow what you know and
the freedom and the just theautonomy that is available as an
entrepreneur because I'm areluctant entrepreneur, I never
wanted to do this, are youkidding?
I liked my nine to five, whereI got a paycheck every two weeks
and could tell people to fuckit on a Friday afternoon and
come back on a Monday.
But now that I've tasted itright, like now that we've been
(32:20):
in it, it's really hard to dothat.
First of all, trusting thatvoice.
That is something that I thinka lot of women struggle with
just trusting that knowing, orthat voice that says, hey, maybe
this isn't the thing, or maybeis the thing because we
overthink stuff a lot.
But what do you think and I meanI think the world reinforces
that a little bit too I thinkthat we are.
(32:41):
You know.
The world reinforces the ideaof you can't possibly know
what's best for you.
You have to make decisions incommittee at all times,
regardless of who the committeeis, but everybody's always more
knowledgeable than you are.
So you know, get that advice.
But what do you think the worldis still getting wrong,
particularly in the businessspace, around women's ambition,
(33:08):
women's desire for more power,more money, more impact.
What do you think is stillreally at the crux of like
holding us back from fullyunleashing and I'm going to say
this in a kind of a cheeky way,but please don't just say
patriarchy, because it's acop-out.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I was not what I was going to say, but double will
not say it.
I mean I, I I do think thatobviously that is like the water
that we're swimming in, right,Like that is the perspective
that all of us have knownforever.
It's really been I think I wasjust reading a book.
It's been like 4000 years sincethe matriarchy was last
(33:45):
blooming, right?
So none of us, nor ourimmediate direct ancestors, know
what that looks like.
So we are all swimming in thatand I think piggybacking off of
your idea of like this committee, is that we do go outside of us
again to like find thoseanswers.
Now I will tell you, had I goneto my parents I love my parents
(34:09):
so much, right?
This is not them saying we wantbad things for you.
Is not them saying we want badthings for you.
This was them, operating fromtheir conditioning, saying you
can't possibly walk away fromthis.
You've been building it foreight years.
I did not go.
When I heard that voice insideof me in that meditation in
March of 2015, it came with sucha visceral knowing that I
(34:34):
didn't talk to anyone about it.
Now it was also on the heels ofme hiring a business coach and
totaling my car.
There was a lot going on in mylife that weekend.
I was in a particularly, alsovery vulnerable state, but also
I had been miserable for atleast a year, if not two years,
leading up to that point.
(34:54):
And people are like, oh my gosh, how could you make a decision
like that overnight?
And I'm like, well, the momentcame in that moment.
But that moment was aculmination of two years of
feeling like shit in my business, being stressed out, having
panic attacks, basicallyvacillating between running a
marathon on a hamster wheel andbeing in the fetal position in
(35:16):
my bed.
Like that was my life.
So the voice that I heard andthe visceral sensation I had, I
trusted it because it was reliefand there was a part of me that
knew that if this was my life,for the rest of it I was not
interested in that.
There was part of me thatneeded to know that there was
(35:38):
something else available to meand that whatever that something
else was might not be easy, butit was going to be way more
worth it than spending the restof my life vacillating between
the hamster wheel and the fetalposition.
And I think way too oftenthere's that saying about the
devil.
We know that, like we wouldrather sacrifice the unknown
(36:02):
greatness for the knownmediocrity or even the known
goodness, right, and in thatmoment 10 years ago, I was like
fuck, mediocre, fuck.
Feeling like this every day,like there has got to be
something better out there, andI burned the boat, pulled the
(36:24):
rip cord and just decided to goall in on it.
And my business just celebrated10 years this month and I'm not
saying that it's gotten anyeasier.
Obviously I'm having anentrepreneurial midlife crisis
right now, but like it's gottenway more worth it to like I know
, whatever is on the other sideof this entrepreneurial midlife
(36:44):
crisis that I'm in is going tobe so fucking good Because I'm
also creating it from.
Be so fucking good because I'malso creating it from a
different place.
When I created the business 10years ago, I was creating it
from like holy shit, I don'thave a business and now I have a
really expensive business coachand also I have a car payment
for the first time in a verylong time and I'm living in LA
and I now have no income.
Like what the fuck am I goingto do?
Whereas now I have a littlemore cushion, I have a partner,
(37:09):
I have some more freedomsafforded to me, where I'm like,
I can create now from a place ofabundance and alignment, rather
than creating from a place of,like, scarcity and fear, fear.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Yeah, I mean, there's something to be said about
letting go, right, like I usedto be the kind of person that
saved every email that I got,every email newsletter,
everything.
I put it in a folder becauseone day I will read it, because
there is something in there.
I would sit through movies thatI fucking hated.
I would finish books because,well, I started and I got to
finish, and we are rewarded forlike persistence and
(37:46):
stick-to-itiveness, and the dayI was like you know what, it's
okay if I don't like this andwalk away from it, and that's
something that I think morepeople need to allow themselves
to do this idea that justbecause you built it doesn't
mean you're married to it.
Like you can leave it.
But I wanted to share something.
You've talked about thisentrepreneurial midlife crisis
(38:08):
and I think it kind of goes handin hand with this feeling of
like letting go.
I read something the other dayand it was more specifically
about just like a life midlifecrisis, but I think it applies.
I don't know that it's amidlife crisis so much as this
is the first time you haveenough data to realize what you
actually want and what'sbullshit, and it goes back to
(38:34):
again, right, knowing what weknow and not being able to
unknow it, and a lot of peopleget to the stage where
everything that has worked foryou up to this point just
doesn't work anymore, right, andyou're allowed to reinvent or
refine or whatever you want tocall it.
We need to do a longer episode.
This is so much juiciness.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I'm actually sitting here thinking I'm like this is,
and maybe it's because you and Iknow each other.
There's an established level oflike, trust and camaraderie.
I don't know.
I'm like this.
This is a really good podcastinterview.
This is what's going through myhead as we're talking.
I'm like this is probably oneof the better podcast interviews
I think I've ever done.
So thank you for like the spaceand the like this is.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I'm very excited about this episode, me too, and
what's funny is I joke about it.
I'm not really very woo, I'mlike woo adjacent, but I totally
believe in like the multiverseand making space and like the
universe will fill the spacebecause it abhors the vacuum and
all of that stuff.
So it's a really interestinglike I love having conversations
like this.
I do want to ask one lastquestion before I let you go.
(39:33):
If we've got women out therewho are listening and they are,
you know, because my people tendto be the highly ambitious,
overworked unicorns who areunicorns because they were told
from a very young age that themore you are able to do for
people, the more valuable youare, and so break your back as
you bend over for people.
How do we start putting intoplace boundaries?
(39:56):
What small steps can we takebefore we just fuck this shit
and burn it all down?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Okay, so the first thing I want to introduce is
just a level of curiosity,because, also, we tend to.
I was actually going throughsome of my like sub
personalities this morning, andone of my sub personalities is
like, for me to feel safe, Ihave to know everything.
Yes, but when we knoweverything, we're literally
cutting ourselves off from somuch, and so I would encourage
(40:24):
everyone to introduce a sense ofcuriosity.
First of all.
What if, what if?
And just start asking yourselfwhat if?
What got me here is not goingto be the thing that gets me
there?
What if I could have all thethings that I crave in my life?
What if?
Just start asking yourself thatquestion?
And then the boundaries thingcomes down to, first of all, a
(40:49):
high level of awareness andbeing in tune with yourself to
say, oh, that didn't feel good.
Like that person just texted mea thing and, like that, that
didn't feel good.
Or that person just spoke to mein a way where, like that
didn't feel good.
Or they're asking me to do,like that didn't feel good.
Or they're asking me to dosomething and that doesn't feel
(41:10):
good.
Or I'm disrespecting my ownboundaries again, and that
doesn't feel good.
So we have to have theawareness to know and be able to
spot and point out like there'sa thing that's happening that
doesn't feel good.
And then the next questionbecomes like okay, what do I get
to do about this?
So if it's another person asmuch as I, really I do not
(41:33):
co-sign on this whole thing, butthe theory works.
Is the let them theory.
I have not read the book and I'mnot reading the book and I'm
not interested in the book, butthe idea behind it is like if
someone wants to disrespect yourboundaries, by all means let
them.
That's their issue and not yours.
So things like my phone is ondo not disturb.
(41:57):
Probably 90% of the day Iturned off all of my
notifications.
I do not know if I get an emailunless I open up my email.
I don't get notifications aboutInstagram or Facebook.
Well, I'm not really onFacebook anymore, but anyways,
you get the idea Like I have putin place the blocks that I need
to be my best self and ifsomeone I have people they're
(42:20):
like oh my gosh, I texted you at11 o'clock, I'm so sorry and
I'm like my phone is off, solike I'll periodically text my
mom and she'll be like it'safter nine o'clock, don't text
me and I'm like I love you andthat sounds like a you problem,
like if you want to, if you wantto have boundaries, amazing, I,
(42:40):
I very much co-sign on yourboundaries, but those are your
boundaries.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Don't make it my responsibility.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Yeah, you get to endorse and endorse and enforce
them, right?
So what are the boundaries thatyou need to put in place?
What are the systems?
What are the processes?
Do you need to just schedule 30minutes?
I just got an email today froma woman that was like hi, I
check my email on this day atthis time and this day at this
time You'll get a response backafter that.
And I was like fuckingfantastic and I deleted it and
(43:08):
was like she'll respond to mewhen she's ready, like.
So it's up to you to understandthen and know, okay, this
doesn't feel good.
And now, what do I need to putin place?
And I'm a big fan of, likeautomation systems, processes,
things where, like, you don'teven have to worry about it.
My phone just turns itself offat nine o'clock, it's great, I
(43:34):
don't have to worry about it,like, and then it's not taking
up bandwidth, that's not.
I'm not having to think aboutit, I'm not having to reinforce
it, it just does it.
So, awareness, you have tounderstand when you're not
feeling great.
And then you have to askyourself when you are not
feeling great, what am I willingto do about this or change
about this or put in place sothat I'm not stuck feeling like
shit all the time.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
It's the whole idea of if you're not going to do
something about it, don'tcomplain about it.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
We have so many options to like.
Go into your settings, turnyour notifications off on your
phone, set a screen time of 15minutes on Instagram a day.
My phone is like nope, you'redone for the day.
There are so many things thatwe can do and lean on to help us
prioritize boundaries that somany of us, just frankly, don't
(44:20):
do.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Yeah, my brother actually ended up buying I don't
know, but he bought this boxthat he puts his phone in and
then he sets the time on howlong the phone will be locked in
the box.
So he's not tempted by.
Well, I know I put a timer onit but I can just undo it, like
he physically cannot get intothe box until the time is up.
So yeah, like there, there's alot of things you can do.
(44:44):
You know, put your phone in adifferent room, put it in a
fucking lockbox, I don't know,but the boundaries have to have
to start with you and I and Ilove that because it does put
the onus back on you to takeresponsibility for yourself.
Yep, like it's got to be your,your choice, totally agree.
Amazing.
This has been such a juicyconversation and I don't know
(45:07):
what I'm going to do now becauseI think we're gonna have to
have another one at some pointvery soon.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Well, we should just have you on my podcast so people
can find me on my podcast.
It's the Big Goal Energypodcast, and also we have our
own app now too.
So if you'd like to join acommunity of ambitious high
achievers, go to either theApple Store or the Android Store
and just search Big Goal Energyit is the only one and come
join us.
There are free meditations inthere.
(45:36):
All my podcast episodes are inthere.
There's also additional paidresources in there.
There's events and communitychats and like all the things.
I actually have startedreleasing secret podcast
episodes in there as well.
So come join us on the Big GoldEnergy app, and then, if you
have any interest in bringing asuccess strategist onto your
(45:58):
team or into your world, you cango to briecelecom.
And then you can also find meon Instagram.
Unfortunately, it's like theone social media that I like
have not yet unplugged from, butI'm like, I'm working on it.
I'm working on it.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yeah, I'm feeling the same way.
It's a whole conversation, butall of those links will be in
the show notes.
Brie, thank you so much forbeing here and just being your
wonderful self and giving us allthe juice and the goods and the
meat of the thing.
And, as I say every week, myfriends, you can have success
without the BS.
You've just got to know whereyour boundaries are.
(46:33):
I will talk to you next week.
That's it for this week.
Thanks for listening to theBusiness Blasphemy Podcast.
We'll be back next week with anew episode, but in the meantime
, help a sister out bysubscribing and, if you're
feeling extra sassy, rating thispodcast.
And don't forget to share thepodcast with others.
Head over tobusinessblasphemypodcastcom to
(46:53):
connect with us and learn more.
Thanks for listening andremember you can have success
without the BS.
Welcome to the Business Blasphemy Podcast,
where we question the sacredtruths of the online business
space and the reverence withwhich they're held.
I'm your host, sarah Khanspeaker, strategic consultant
and BS busting badass.
Join me each week as wechallenge the norms, trends and
overall bullshit status quo ofentrepreneurship to uncover what
it really takes to build thebusiness that you want to build
(00:23):
in a way that honors you, yourlife and your vision for what's
possible, and maybe piss off afew gurus along the way.
So if you're ready to commitbusiness blasphemy, let's do it.
Hello, hello blasphemers,welcome back.
We have a treat for you today.
I mean, come on, we have atreat every week, but this is an
extra special treat.
I have known my guest today fora while now I'd say probably a
(00:46):
couple of years and let me tellyou when I say she's like the
best kept secret, but she's notreally a secret, and I've just
been holding out on having heron the podcast because, honestly
, it's not fair to keep her tomyself, but I also didn't want
to share because I'm an assholesometimes.
Welcoming to the show my friendand yours, brie Seeley.
(01:06):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Hello, I know I think we met in like 2021 or 2020.
Time is a flat circle.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I know it's been a few years, yeah, and we were in
a mastermind together and like Ijust I don't know what it was,
but I instantly clicked with youbecause you have a very similar
no bullshit straight from thehip, but also very grounded in
like I know what I'm talkingabout because I've walked the
walk kind of business ethos.
(01:37):
So I don't have people on thepodcast that I don't genuinely
respect.
And I'm really excited to havethis conversation today because
knowing you, you knowing me andjust what has been going on in
the world lately, particularlyas it relates to women in
general and the kind of, youknow, agency and advocacy work
(02:00):
that we have to do in over andabove just living day to day,
I'm really excited about thisconversation.
But first can you pleaseintroduce yourself to everybody.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yes.
So hello everyone.
I'm Brie Seeley, I am a successstrategist and I also brainwash
people for their success.
I'm a certified hypnotherapistas well and I really combine in
my work the inner and the outer.
If you don't believe you can besuccessful, we can put together
(02:30):
the best strategy in the worldand it's never going to work for
you because, guess what?
You're probably going toself-sabotage if you even try to
do it in the first place.
So I get people subconscious onboard with where they're at,
where they're going, whatthey're wanting, and then from
there we look at the action plan.
I'm very different in that alot of strategists will just go
(02:52):
in and give you an action planand walk away.
And while I can do that and Ihave done that and for certain
people I will continue to dothat but I know the power of the
subconscious and if we're notalso addressing your rulebook,
your operation system, yourguiding principles, like you,
can't fight against 95% of yourbrain every day and win.
(03:15):
So yeah, that's what I do inthe world.
I brainwash people and then Ialso give them success
strategies, and it's lovely.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I love that and you know it's funny because I do
tend to rant a lot about mindsetas a whole and to contextualize
it for those of you who arenewer to the show.
I do have a huge issue withmindset coaches, because a lot
of the mainstream coaching ismindset focused only, like if
you just believe in it enoughyou can be successful.
(03:43):
But what's different about whatBree is saying is that you have
to have the other part of it aswell, like it's two sides of
the same coin.
Mindset doesn't work withoutstrategy, strategy doesn't work
without mindset.
You have to have them togetherand I think that's the nuanced
difference.
So I'm really glad that youyou're honest about the fact
that, yeah, I'll brainwash youand make you feel good about
(04:04):
stuff, but you're still gonnahave to put in the fucking work.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
End of the day, yes, also that, and for me, too, part
of like what I've reallylearned over entrepreneurship
and I called myself anentrepreneur coach for many,
many, many years instead of abusiness coach is because it's
about the person, right like ifyour identity is.
I actually worked with a womanseveral years ago and I
(04:26):
unfortunately didn't find thisout until like the very last
session we had, and I couldn'tfigure out why nothing was
working for her.
Her identity was her mom hadtold her at a very young age
that being successful is selfish.
Oh, and so she would show upevery week and be like I need
actions to take, I need thingsto do, and I would give her all
these brilliant, brilliantstrategies to do, and she would
(04:48):
do none of them.
And it's truly that identitypiece.
If your identity is such thatyou don't believe you can be
successful, being successful isselfish.
Only billionaires are greedy orall those things.
If that's your identity and theoperating system from which you
are operating, you literallycannot create.
(05:10):
You cannot surpass youridentity.
So there's a quote that I sayall the time is that like people
think that they can rise totheir goals, but the truth is we
all actually fall to ouridentity.
So, whatever that identity pieceis and I'll tell, I'll be
really honest with y'all.
We're recording this at the endof April.
I'm in the middle of Arkansasright now for two weeks by
(05:33):
myself, house sitting forcomplete strangers that have a
dog, two cats and 16 chickens,because I'm here doing my own
identity work, because there arepieces of me that are not on
board with where I want to go inthe world and if I don't do
this identity work, I'm nevergoing to fucking get there.
So I don't, like Sarah said,like I don't just preach this
(05:55):
stuff.
I know this stuff works andthat it's true because I've
studied the science behind itand because I fucking do it
myself.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
And I think that's the key, like I've talked about
this on the podcast for the lastfew weeks, probably longer than
that, but you know, I've beengoing through a similar journey
myself and one of the things Iremember saying this to a client
years ago and I reminded myselfof it recently and it's this
idea that, because I'm a verypragmatic person, like you know,
give me the, give me the thing,I can figure out how to do it
(06:25):
and you need to take action.
But I realized that you cancollect as much strategy and
action and you know the stepsand the whys and the wherefores,
but if you don't actually geton board with it, like you said,
from a belief perspective,right, if you've got all the
strategy in the world, you'vehad all the clarity sessions and
(06:46):
you're still like I'm notmaking progress, it's not the
strategy, it's not the clarityyou have, that there's something
holding you back from a beliefperspective.
So, yeah, I can relate to that.
The last few months have reallybeen about who am I and what do
I actually want, but then, do Ibelieve that I'm capable of
attaining it and am I worthy ofit?
(07:07):
Like, do I actually believethis is something?
Because what you were sayingabout your client.
I've been told a lot in my lifethat you know people like us.
We're not rich, we live to ourmeans and that's it.
We don't need millions, wedon't need more than our means,
and that was like a really,really big belief hurdle to
overcome, because, when I lookback at my history, we've always
(07:31):
had just enough money, do youknow what I mean?
Like just enough to coverwhatever calamity, whatever
thing fell, but we never hadmore, and it's a fascinating
correlation.
But you're absolutely ontosomething I want to ask you,
then, in this vein what doesambition mean to you.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So I have also been unpacking a lot ambition, and
part of it is for myself andpart of it is I work with highly
ambitious people.
I always say that like I'm theperson people call when they're
ready to turn their impossibledream into their inevitable
future.
Like those are the people Iwork with.
In that journey and in my ownjourney, I've recognized the
(08:12):
ways in which ambition hassabotaged me and hurt me and
left me with a lot ofdisappointment, and similarly
for my clients.
Right, we want not just theworld, we don't want to shoot
for the moon and reach the starsLike we want the entire fucking
(08:33):
multiverse.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Speaking of.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Dr Strange, as we were just talking about, like
that's what we want and I knowthat we also want it yesterday.
So I've really been unpacking,like what does it look like to
want more than just getting by,like you just said, without that
ambition, killing me in theprocess, right, like stripping
(09:01):
me of who I am in the world,really having me overworking and
underliving, like what doesthat mean and what does that
look like?
So I tend to kind of straddletwo worlds a lot, and one is the
future world.
I did my StrengthsFinder goshprobably close to 20 years ago
now, and Futuristic was one ofmy top strengths Surprise
(09:23):
surprise.
But the thing that I've learnedis, because I live so much in
the future, it takes me awayfrom my life now, and I don't
know if you've ever noticed thefuture actually, like tomorrow
never comes, it's always today.
The future is an abstractconstruct.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
So I have really started being like okay, yes,
that's the future.
And also, how am I presentright now, in this moment, in
what I'm focusing my attentionon right now, while also giving
myself permission to elicit thefeelings that my future self
feels, because a lot ofambitious people also wait to
(10:04):
say well, I'll feel successfulwhen, or I'll feel abundant when
, the thing is a littlequantum-y, is like what came
first, the chicken or the egg?
Did the success come first andthen you felt successful?
Or did you feel successfulfirst and then the success
followed that right successful,or did you feel successful first
(10:26):
and then the success followedthat right?
I'm of the latter camp, and I'malso of the camp that, like I
don't want my journey to feellike shit on the way to my
success or to my abundance orany of those things.
So I have this vision of whereI want to go in the future,
while also anchoring it andexperiencing bits and pieces of
it in the present moment.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
So what have you had to sacrifice for your ambition?
And like, where are you drawingthe line these days in terms of
what you're willing tosacrifice?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I mean, really, when you and I met, I was definitely
in the overworking underlivingcamp, definitely in the
overworking underliving camp,and I sacrificed a lot of
relationships.
I've missed friends' weddingsBecause I overworked and because
I was so committed to my vision.
I have sacrificed my financialhealth in pursuit of my vision.
(11:21):
I mean a lot of things.
I've sacrificed my personalhealth in pursuit of my ambition
and nowadays I'm just notreally willing to sacrifice any
of those things.
So I got married about seven oreight months ago.
Congratulations again, by theway, thank you.
I knew even before I met him.
(11:43):
I knew that something was goingto have to shift because I
didn't want to overwork myselfthrough my marriage, like I was
single for 12 years.
So getting to that point whereI found someone that I actually
wanted to commit to was a bigdeal and I don't want to miss
(12:04):
that.
Now are there seasons andsprints and, like I said, I just
left Tulsa for three weeks tocome do my own thing.
But he also conveniently got apromotion at the same time and
is really having to overworkright now in his job because
he's getting set up for hispromotion right.
So there are seasons, but forthe most part.
(12:25):
We have date night every singleTuesday.
We go out to eat at least oncea week.
We spend time together on theweekends, right?
Friends are non-negotiable tome.
My health is non-negotiable tome.
I just got done doing asix-week cleanse.
I told you I've had frozenshoulder and I, every Monday, go
(12:46):
to see my bodywork practitioner.
I have non-negotiable morningswhere I'm in my spaciousness,
communing with my higher self,my vision, my meditating,
journaling, all those things.
So in the past it's been thatmy business has held more of a
priority than me and what I'verealized is that without me,
(13:10):
there is no fucking business.
Exactly, and most of theambitious people that come to me
are so burnt out, they're attheir last, like string on their
rope.
They're like because they havesacrificed themselves so long in
pursuit of this big vision.
And I've just really beenplaying with over the last few
(13:30):
years.
Like what if it wasn't aneither or conversation?
What if I could be ambitiousnow?
Maybe not at the like 165% thatI was running at before, but
maybe at, like you know, like85%, and then the other 25% is
personal.
We're still working out thosepercentages.
(13:51):
But like what if I couldredistribute that energy so that
the journey.
Feels better I have betterrelationships in my life.
Feels better I have betterrelationships in my life.
My wealth means more?
I don't know.
I've just really been playingwith all of those questions and
(14:12):
some days I feel like I havemore questions than I have
answers, but I'm reallycommitted to finding a new
pathway because I feel like I'mhaving a midlife crisis, like an
entrepreneurial midlife crisis,and almost every single
colleague in my life is at thesame point in their journeys as
(14:33):
well.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, gosh, so much of what you said resonates and I
think people who are listeningare probably feeling the same
way, because I think a lot ofwomen, particularly who have
been in business for a while,who have had careers you know
balancing home life and career,I think a lot of women,
particularly who have been inbusiness for a while, who've had
careers you know balancing homelife and career I think a lot
of us feel this way.
This idea of you know we'vebeen told we have to choose.
(14:54):
We have to put all our eggs ineither basket.
You can't have it all.
And then you had the swing tothe other end of the pendulum.
Is that the phrase?
The pendulum swing?
Yeah, yeah, um, you know thatpendulum, yeah, yeah, you know
that well.
Who wants it all, like you, canhave a little bit of everything.
Nobody wants to have all of itand it's like well, why?
Why is it such a binaryperspective?
So I would love to know whatyour advice would be like, how?
(15:19):
Because I know I've, I'vealways felt like you.
You only value what you makevisible in your life.
Right, we talk about values, wetalk about priorities, but
unless they're front and center,it's probably not a priority or
a value in this season of life.
So what advice would you giveor how would you suggest
starting to boundary yourambition, especially if you're
(15:40):
somebody who has been fullthrottle in their ambition, like
, how do you now start toboundary it without really
sacrificing the end?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
goal.
So part of it is some identitywork, like we talked about
earlier.
Right, we have to decoupleourselves and kind of release
that hustle mentality that hasbeen just so ingrained
subconsciously into our world.
Ambitious people also tend toplace their worth and their
(16:10):
value on how much they get done.
So we need to uncouple thisidea that we have to do more in
order to have more, because wedon't.
You actually get to do less tohave more, which is super cool.
And we have to find a newidentity where our worth and our
value is not tied to ourproductivity, because when our
(16:35):
worth and value is tied to ourproductivity, no amount I don't
know if anyone else has noticedthis no amount of getting shit
done makes us feel like we'vedone enough.
There is no quantitative valuefor enough and our brain will
always trick us into the factthat we didn't do enough.
So we have to decouple thosethings and we have to find worth
(16:55):
and value in who we are ratherthan what we get done.
So that's the first thing, andthat just takes a lot of
evaluation, a lot of journaling,getting present, being
observatory and just reallyreflecting on like, why do I do
this thing?
Why do I have a to-do list thatwhen I get a hundred things
(17:17):
done, magically a hundred morethings show up on it Like how is
this the thing?
And then we have to reallystart looking at and this is the
part where I love, because thisis data-based, this is like
actual I don't want to sayscience based, but it's like
based in real, tangible things.
It's like we all know we've allheard that 20% of our actions
(17:39):
result in 80% of our results.
So what if you could simplyfocus more on that 20% and do
less and and create betterresults?
And the way you do that againis reflection Okay, cool, it's
Friday.
What actions did I take thisweek that actually produced
(18:00):
results?
What actions did I take thisweek where, literally, it was
like crickets, cool, okay.
Now, going into next week, whatdo I need to do differently?
Am I willing to redo all thoseactions that produced crickets?
Or what if I just took the 20%and did double that?
(18:20):
So even if you just doubled the20%, notice how that's only
still 40%.
So you still have 60% to playwith.
And if you want to take moreactions, you can like whatever,
but then it's rooted in data,like what is working for you
what's not working for you, andcan you give yourself permission
(18:41):
to not do the things that don'twork for you and decouple your
value and worth from the amountof actions you take?
What if it was about qualityand not quantity of actions you
take?
What if it was about qualityand not quantity of actions?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And that's so important because, when you
think about it, so many of usoperate on autopilot.
You're talking about evaluatewhat you did this week, look at
how that pans out for next week,but so few of us actually do
that.
We run to the finish line everyweek.
We collapse or, like me, dolaundry on Sunday and then again
, you know, again Monday morningyou're like full throttle and
(19:18):
there's very little time to sortof sit and evaluate.
That is something that I'veI've definitely started to do
over the last year take thatFriday afternoon and really kind
of sit down and evaluate.
But one of the things that Iknow personally I've struggled
with and I man this.
This feels like a huge failureon my own part as a mother, but
my 16-year-old came to me theother day and she was just
(19:42):
really down like really sad, andI was like, baby, what's going
on?
And she couldn't articulate itand you know it took a while to
get it out of her.
But she goes I haven't doneanything this week.
I haven't done anything thisweek and I was like what do you
mean?
You haven't done anything.
And she's like I haven't doneanything, like I've just sat
around and read books and blah,blah, blah.
(20:08):
And I will never forget how, thefirst time I felt that myself
right, this idea that, yeah,okay, you're saying Bree, like
do 20%, slow down, you know,only focus on quality versus
quantity.
But we are so conditioned tofeel uncomfortable when we have
space.
And I mean, I've worked withclients where we have cleared
their calendar and given themthat white space back that
everybody talks about, and theyimmediately feel like they need
(20:30):
to fill it back up, exactly.
So how do we start changingthat very deeply ingrained
belief that, if I am not andspoiler alert, this is actually
what my TED talks about but thisidea that my value as a human
being, my worth as a human being, lies only in being of value to
other things and people, andconstantly doing, how do you
(20:52):
start shifting that?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
So here's the good news we're starting to shift it
right now.
So for those of you that arelistening, congratulations.
This is step one, huzzah.
The first step to any shift orany change is awareness, and my
clients like to always say damnit, brie, once I know something,
(21:16):
I can't unknow it and I'm likeI'm not sorry.
So the first thing is awareness.
Right now, in this moment,every single one of us is
becoming aware of ourprogramming.
We're becoming aware of howuncomfortable that spaciousness
is, and now we get to go out andstart making changes to it.
(21:38):
So I'm going to challengeeveryone I know you didn't
listen to this podcast forhomework and I'm real sorry, and
I actually, to help me cementthis into my being, because
spaciousness is a key ingredientin success Period.
(21:58):
Full stop, end of sentence,microphone off.
I actually schedule spaciousnessinto my calendar.
Now you can't override it, youcan't snooze it, you have to
actually sit with it.
And this is going to look abunch of different ways.
Spaciousness can be reading abook, but a fiction book, y'all.
(22:22):
A fiction book, no businessbooks.
During the spaciousness time itcould be doing a puzzle.
It could be taking a walkwithout a podcast in your ears.
Y'all Shock, horror.
I know right, it could besitting at a fire.
It could be just having likesmelling a cup of tea.
(22:46):
It could be like connect inwith your senses and just let
yourself be Now.
If you need to start with fiveminutes, start with five minutes
.
You're not gonna be able tostart with three hour blocks.
Start with five minutes.
Start with five minutes.
You're not going to be able tostart with three hour blocks.
Start with five minutes.
But don't override it.
And it has to become a muscle,just like you would train a
muscle in a gym.
(23:07):
Our brains do not changeovernight.
They change through repetition.
When I do hypnosis with people,we do the hypnosis once and
then there is a 30-day processthat happens after it, so that
you're literally repeating toyour brain what you want and
what you're moving towards,rather than the old narrative,
(23:27):
right?
So repetition is key.
So if you're even schedulingfive minutes into your calendar
every day, I don't heaven forbid, go eat lunch, not at your
laptop, I don't care, but like,turn it off for just five
minutes.
Yeah, I, that is where.
(23:48):
So for me, I'm I'm deeply,deeply, deeply spiritual and I
firmly believe that I amco-creating with something that
is way the fuck bigger than me.
Every day, when we are busy,when our brains are full, when
our calendars are back to back,to back to back, the universe
can't get in and talk to me.
(24:08):
My higher self, goddess,whatever you call it, whatever
you call it, cannot commune withme if I'm not making time for
it.
So for me, those dates are toget guidance, get insights, get
next steps from a perspectivethat, as a human, I physically
cannot have but I need becauseI'm aiming for the multiverse.
(24:33):
Y y'all yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I love that.
A couple things came up.
So, first of all, you talkedabout books.
I, just as an aside, I don'tremember if I told you Addie
LaRue Beautiful, oh my God, theway I mourned when that book was
over.
If you haven't read theInvisible Life of Addie LaRue,
like honestly, go and get it.
It was so good, oh my God like,honestly, go and get it.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
It was so good, oh my god.
And okay, I'm telling you, goon.
I that is the one book I regretreading because I will never be
able to read it for a firsttime again.
That book was so good.
I literally the book I'mreading right now.
I chose because it has the samefont as addy larue and I'm like
it's gotta be connected somehow.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
It's gotta be as good well, it's because that's how
you described it to me.
And so a little bit ofbackstory.
And this actually speaks to thesecond thing I wanted to talk
about.
So y'all know my phone gotstolen when I was in Barcelona.
It was traumatic, it was awful.
Also, my phone was stolen andthat's when I kind of put out
the call, like do you guys haveany book recommendations, or
whatever because I don't have aphone for the next two weeks and
(25:34):
I don't know what to do withmyself and I'm in a different
country and Brie very kindly,very graciously, recommended the
Invisible Life of Addie LaRueand that's exactly how you
explained it.
Like that, you will never beable to experience it again for
the first time, and it was.
It was such a unique way ofputting something and I don't
know if that kind of set off thedomino of what happened later.
(25:54):
But when you're talking abouttaking five minutes and savoring
the cup of tea, I've told thestory a few times.
I don't know offline, but I wasin a cafe in Leeds because we
went to England afterwards tovisit my husband's family and
I'm sitting in this cafe andthey serve this Kashmiri pink
tea and it's like a very uniquetea.
It's hard to make and to get itauthentically is really, really
(26:17):
challenging, and so we foundthis place that does it, and my
husband's with me, my kids arewith me, they're all on their
devices and I'm like fuckers,like I don't have a phone.
What am I supposed to do?
Just sit and drink my fuckingtea.
Okay, so I sat and drank my teaand the fact that there was
nothing to distract me that Ihad to actually savor the taste
and feel the warmth and look atthe environment that I was in.
(26:40):
When I tell you and I am notjust saying this for showmanship
it was that quietness and thatsort of connection to like being
in the present moment thatcracked open a realization and
like a truth that I have beenchasing for the last six months.
(27:01):
It was the catalyst in me goingoh, this is what I meant to be
doing here and it's superunrelated, like I wasn't looking
for that in the moment, butI've been chasing it for so long
and trying to force it and,like you said, reading the books
and the podcasts and going forwalks with stuff in my ear.
And it was in that quiet momentwhere I was like you know what?
(27:22):
I'm just going to sit here andenjoy my tea and let my brain
kind of do what my brain doesbest.
And it was.
It was fucking magical.
So I think that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I think that's listening to that story
seriously like and that is, thatis the magic, because all the
noise you can't hear the whisperof yourself, yeah, through all
the noise, and like that'sreally where the magic lies is
like I mean I've taken it to theextreme literally two weeks by
myself in a tiny home with a dog, two cats and 16 chickens which
(28:02):
, by the way, I'm also terrifiedof birds, but that is an
entirely different story.
I mean I've spoken to maybefive people in the last week and
I have a week left, and likeI'm here to just be fucking
quiet and listen because theguidance that I need and crave
and want right now cannot befound out there.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, it absolutely can't.
And I think the other thing,too, is that, like once you do
find that whatever you'relooking for in that quiet, it's
not a one and done deal right,like this is why you're saying
like you have to build this intoyour schedule, because if you
have the realization and thenyou're like, okay, got it, and
then you go full throttle again,you lose it.
There's no space to actuallyallow it to expand.
(28:47):
Right?
I want to quickly switch gearsfor one second.
I would really love to know,because I don't know if we've
ever talked about this, but whatis your villain origin story?
How did you come toentrepreneurship?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
It's all my mom's fault.
I love her so much.
So a few things.
One she definitely raised me.
I was an only child for 10years, so I was definitely
raised for like, what do youwant for dinner?
What movie do you want to watch?
Like I got to call all theshots when I was a child, and
even down to when my grandmotherwould take care of me and my
(29:22):
cousin.
If we wanted different thingsfor lunch, she would make both
of us different lunches.
Like I was a very spoiled childand I just got what I wanted.
I had a vision and I was handedit.
What I wanted.
I had a vision and I was handedit.
(29:42):
My mom then left a corporate jobwhere she was being underpaid
and disrespected and her bosswas having an affair with one of
her co-workers and like allthese things.
She left that when my sisterwas born and started a daycare
and basically got to startcalling her own shots.
Well, I helped out with thedaycare when I got home from
school and then they bought acandy store and I started
working the candy store and inthe summer she would toss me the
keys and be like, don't burnthe place down, I'm going to be
(30:04):
at the pool and so you know.
I think it was a combination ofa few things One, being super
stubborn and just like dancingto the beat of my own drum all
the time, and then, two, seeingthe freedom that happened with
being able to call your ownshots and make your own schedule
(30:25):
and not have to deal with thebullshit of coworkers and
hierarchies and bureaucracy andall those things, and then mix
all of that with me moving toWashington State after getting
two fashion degrees and I don'tknow if you know this Washington
State is not a fashion mecca.
Really, it was like Patagoniaor this crazy bridal designer
(30:52):
who was fucking nuts or workingin retail and I was like I don't
want any of those things.
So I got a day job and starteddoing fashion on the side and
those one-off bridesmaidsdresses and flower girl dresses
and prom dresses turned into myfirst collection and awards and
my first runway show, which Iwon an award for, and selling on
(31:15):
Zapposcom and dressing ToniBraxton and all these things.
And by the point that I let goof my day job then I was like,
yeah, I'm never.
I'm never doing that again.
I had my day job for aboutseven years of my eight years of
my fashion label and then storyfor a different day.
(31:36):
I was meditating 10 years agoand the universe was like
fashion isn't it?
Shut it down, walk away.
And that's when I was guided tothis business.
But entrepreneurship is.
I don't know if I'll ever notbe an entrepreneur.
I fantasize about it sometimesand then I'm like yeah, no, I'd
(31:56):
hate that it's like you saidearlier.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
right, it's like you can't unknow what you know and
the freedom and the just theautonomy that is available as an
entrepreneur because I'm areluctant entrepreneur, I never
wanted to do this, are youkidding?
I liked my nine to five, whereI got a paycheck every two weeks
and could tell people to fuckit on a Friday afternoon and
come back on a Monday.
But now that I've tasted itright, like now that we've been
(32:20):
in it, it's really hard to dothat.
First of all, trusting thatvoice.
That is something that I thinka lot of women struggle with
just trusting that knowing, orthat voice that says, hey, maybe
this isn't the thing, or maybeis the thing because we
overthink stuff a lot.
But what do you think and I meanI think the world reinforces
that a little bit too I thinkthat we are.
(32:41):
You know.
The world reinforces the ideaof you can't possibly know
what's best for you.
You have to make decisions incommittee at all times,
regardless of who the committeeis, but everybody's always more
knowledgeable than you are.
So you know, get that advice.
But what do you think the worldis still getting wrong,
particularly in the businessspace, around women's ambition,
(33:08):
women's desire for more power,more money, more impact.
What do you think is stillreally at the crux of like
holding us back from fullyunleashing and I'm going to say
this in a kind of a cheeky way,but please don't just say
patriarchy, because it's acop-out.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I was not what I was going to say, but double will
not say it.
I mean I, I I do think thatobviously that is like the water
that we're swimming in, right,Like that is the perspective
that all of us have knownforever.
It's really been I think I wasjust reading a book.
It's been like 4000 years sincethe matriarchy was last
(33:45):
blooming, right?
So none of us, nor ourimmediate direct ancestors, know
what that looks like.
So we are all swimming in thatand I think piggybacking off of
your idea of like this committee, is that we do go outside of us
again to like find thoseanswers.
Now I will tell you, had I goneto my parents I love my parents
(34:09):
so much, right?
This is not them saying we wantbad things for you.
Is not them saying we want badthings for you.
This was them, operating fromtheir conditioning, saying you
can't possibly walk away fromthis.
You've been building it foreight years.
I did not go.
When I heard that voice insideof me in that meditation in
March of 2015, it came with sucha visceral knowing that I
(34:34):
didn't talk to anyone about it.
Now it was also on the heels ofme hiring a business coach and
totaling my car.
There was a lot going on in mylife that weekend.
I was in a particularly, alsovery vulnerable state, but also
I had been miserable for atleast a year, if not two years,
leading up to that point.
(34:54):
And people are like, oh my gosh, how could you make a decision
like that overnight?
And I'm like, well, the momentcame in that moment.
But that moment was aculmination of two years of
feeling like shit in my business, being stressed out, having
panic attacks, basicallyvacillating between running a
marathon on a hamster wheel andbeing in the fetal position in
(35:16):
my bed.
Like that was my life.
So the voice that I heard andthe visceral sensation I had, I
trusted it because it was reliefand there was a part of me that
knew that if this was my life,for the rest of it I was not
interested in that.
There was part of me thatneeded to know that there was
(35:38):
something else available to meand that whatever that something
else was might not be easy, butit was going to be way more
worth it than spending the restof my life vacillating between
the hamster wheel and the fetalposition.
And I think way too oftenthere's that saying about the
devil.
We know that, like we wouldrather sacrifice the unknown
(36:02):
greatness for the knownmediocrity or even the known
goodness, right, and in thatmoment 10 years ago, I was like
fuck, mediocre, fuck.
Feeling like this every day,like there has got to be
something better out there, andI burned the boat, pulled the
(36:24):
rip cord and just decided to goall in on it.
And my business just celebrated10 years this month and I'm not
saying that it's gotten anyeasier.
Obviously I'm having anentrepreneurial midlife crisis
right now, but like it's gottenway more worth it to like I know
, whatever is on the other sideof this entrepreneurial midlife
(36:44):
crisis that I'm in is going tobe so fucking good Because I'm
also creating it from.
Be so fucking good because I'malso creating it from a
different place.
When I created the business 10years ago, I was creating it
from like holy shit, I don'thave a business and now I have a
really expensive business coachand also I have a car payment
for the first time in a verylong time and I'm living in LA
and I now have no income.
Like what the fuck am I goingto do?
Whereas now I have a littlemore cushion, I have a partner,
(37:09):
I have some more freedomsafforded to me, where I'm like,
I can create now from a place ofabundance and alignment, rather
than creating from a place of,like, scarcity and fear, fear.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Yeah, I mean, there's something to be said about
letting go, right, like I usedto be the kind of person that
saved every email that I got,every email newsletter,
everything.
I put it in a folder becauseone day I will read it, because
there is something in there.
I would sit through movies thatI fucking hated.
I would finish books because,well, I started and I got to
finish, and we are rewarded forlike persistence and
(37:46):
stick-to-itiveness, and the dayI was like you know what, it's
okay if I don't like this andwalk away from it, and that's
something that I think morepeople need to allow themselves
to do this idea that justbecause you built it doesn't
mean you're married to it.
Like you can leave it.
But I wanted to share something.
You've talked about thisentrepreneurial midlife crisis
(38:08):
and I think it kind of goes handin hand with this feeling of
like letting go.
I read something the other dayand it was more specifically
about just like a life midlifecrisis, but I think it applies.
I don't know that it's amidlife crisis so much as this
is the first time you haveenough data to realize what you
actually want and what'sbullshit, and it goes back to
(38:34):
again, right, knowing what weknow and not being able to
unknow it, and a lot of peopleget to the stage where
everything that has worked foryou up to this point just
doesn't work anymore, right, andyou're allowed to reinvent or
refine or whatever you want tocall it.
We need to do a longer episode.
This is so much juiciness.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I'm actually sitting here thinking I'm like this is,
and maybe it's because you and Iknow each other.
There's an established level oflike, trust and camaraderie.
I don't know.
I'm like this.
This is a really good podcastinterview.
This is what's going through myhead as we're talking.
I'm like this is probably oneof the better podcast interviews
I think I've ever done.
So thank you for like the spaceand the like this is.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I'm very excited about this episode, me too, and
what's funny is I joke about it.
I'm not really very woo, I'mlike woo adjacent, but I totally
believe in like the multiverseand making space and like the
universe will fill the spacebecause it abhors the vacuum and
all of that stuff.
So it's a really interestinglike I love having conversations
like this.
I do want to ask one lastquestion before I let you go.
(39:33):
If we've got women out therewho are listening and they are,
you know, because my people tendto be the highly ambitious,
overworked unicorns who areunicorns because they were told
from a very young age that themore you are able to do for
people, the more valuable youare, and so break your back as
you bend over for people.
How do we start putting intoplace boundaries?
(39:56):
What small steps can we takebefore we just fuck this shit
and burn it all down?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Okay, so the first thing I want to introduce is
just a level of curiosity,because, also, we tend to.
I was actually going throughsome of my like sub
personalities this morning, andone of my sub personalities is
like, for me to feel safe, Ihave to know everything.
Yes, but when we knoweverything, we're literally
cutting ourselves off from somuch, and so I would encourage
(40:24):
everyone to introduce a sense ofcuriosity.
First of all.
What if, what if?
And just start asking yourselfwhat if?
What got me here is not goingto be the thing that gets me
there?
What if I could have all thethings that I crave in my life?
What if?
Just start asking yourself thatquestion?
And then the boundaries thingcomes down to, first of all, a
(40:49):
high level of awareness andbeing in tune with yourself to
say, oh, that didn't feel good.
Like that person just texted mea thing and, like that, that
didn't feel good.
Or that person just spoke to mein a way where, like that
didn't feel good.
Or they're asking me to do,like that didn't feel good.
Or they're asking me to dosomething and that doesn't feel
(41:10):
good.
Or I'm disrespecting my ownboundaries again, and that
doesn't feel good.
So we have to have theawareness to know and be able to
spot and point out like there'sa thing that's happening that
doesn't feel good.
And then the next questionbecomes like okay, what do I get
to do about this?
So if it's another person asmuch as I, really I do not
(41:33):
co-sign on this whole thing, butthe theory works.
Is the let them theory.
I have not read the book and I'mnot reading the book and I'm
not interested in the book, butthe idea behind it is like if
someone wants to disrespect yourboundaries, by all means let
them.
That's their issue and not yours.
So things like my phone is ondo not disturb.
(41:57):
Probably 90% of the day Iturned off all of my
notifications.
I do not know if I get an emailunless I open up my email.
I don't get notifications aboutInstagram or Facebook.
Well, I'm not really onFacebook anymore, but anyways,
you get the idea Like I have putin place the blocks that I need
to be my best self and ifsomeone I have people they're
(42:20):
like oh my gosh, I texted you at11 o'clock, I'm so sorry and
I'm like my phone is off, solike I'll periodically text my
mom and she'll be like it'safter nine o'clock, don't text
me and I'm like I love you andthat sounds like a you problem,
like if you want to, if you wantto have boundaries, amazing, I,
(42:40):
I very much co-sign on yourboundaries, but those are your
boundaries.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
Don't make it my responsibility.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Yeah, you get to endorse and endorse and enforce
them, right?
So what are the boundaries thatyou need to put in place?
What are the systems?
What are the processes?
Do you need to just schedule 30minutes?
I just got an email today froma woman that was like hi, I
check my email on this day atthis time and this day at this
time You'll get a response backafter that.
And I was like fuckingfantastic and I deleted it and
(43:08):
was like she'll respond to mewhen she's ready, like.
So it's up to you to understandthen and know, okay, this
doesn't feel good.
And now, what do I need to putin place?
And I'm a big fan of, likeautomation systems, processes,
things where, like, you don'teven have to worry about it.
My phone just turns itself offat nine o'clock, it's great, I
(43:34):
don't have to worry about it,like, and then it's not taking
up bandwidth, that's not.
I'm not having to think aboutit, I'm not having to reinforce
it, it just does it.
So, awareness, you have tounderstand when you're not
feeling great.
And then you have to askyourself when you are not
feeling great, what am I willingto do about this or change
about this or put in place sothat I'm not stuck feeling like
shit all the time.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
It's the whole idea of if you're not going to do
something about it, don'tcomplain about it.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
We have so many options to like.
Go into your settings, turnyour notifications off on your
phone, set a screen time of 15minutes on Instagram a day.
My phone is like nope, you'redone for the day.
There are so many things thatwe can do and lean on to help us
prioritize boundaries that somany of us, just frankly, don't
(44:20):
do.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Yeah, my brother actually ended up buying I don't
know, but he bought this boxthat he puts his phone in and
then he sets the time on howlong the phone will be locked in
the box.
So he's not tempted by.
Well, I know I put a timer onit but I can just undo it, like
he physically cannot get intothe box until the time is up.
So yeah, like there, there's alot of things you can do.
(44:44):
You know, put your phone in adifferent room, put it in a
fucking lockbox, I don't know,but the boundaries have to have
to start with you and I and Ilove that because it does put
the onus back on you to takeresponsibility for yourself.
Yep, like it's got to be your,your choice, totally agree.
Amazing.
This has been such a juicyconversation and I don't know
(45:07):
what I'm going to do now becauseI think we're gonna have to
have another one at some pointvery soon.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Well, we should just have you on my podcast so people
can find me on my podcast.
It's the Big Goal Energypodcast, and also we have our
own app now too.
So if you'd like to join acommunity of ambitious high
achievers, go to either theApple Store or the Android Store
and just search Big Goal Energyit is the only one and come
join us.
There are free meditations inthere.
(45:36):
All my podcast episodes are inthere.
There's also additional paidresources in there.
There's events and communitychats and like all the things.
I actually have startedreleasing secret podcast
episodes in there as well.
So come join us on the Big GoldEnergy app, and then, if you
have any interest in bringing asuccess strategist onto your
(45:58):
team or into your world, you cango to briecelecom.
And then you can also find meon Instagram.
Unfortunately, it's like theone social media that I like
have not yet unplugged from, butI'm like, I'm working on it.
I'm working on it.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yeah, I'm feeling the same way.
It's a whole conversation, butall of those links will be in
the show notes.
Brie, thank you so much forbeing here and just being your
wonderful self and giving us allthe juice and the goods and the
meat of the thing.
And, as I say every week, myfriends, you can have success
without the BS.
You've just got to know whereyour boundaries are.
(46:33):
I will talk to you next week.
That's it for this week.
Thanks for listening to theBusiness Blasphemy Podcast.
We'll be back next week with anew episode, but in the meantime
, help a sister out bysubscribing and, if you're
feeling extra sassy, rating thispodcast.
And don't forget to share thepodcast with others.
Head over tobusinessblasphemypodcastcom to
(46:53):
connect with us and learn more.
Thanks for listening andremember you can have success
without the BS.
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