10. Unlocking Business Success: Humility, Habits & Connection with Chris DiNofia

Episode Transcript
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Crystal (00:08):
The lifelong learner. Is personal development really
necessary for business? Is thereany relation between the 2? In
this episode, we speak withChris Danofia on the topic of
personal development and whyit's critical for the success of
your business.

Eric Beels (00:28):
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Business Boost
Hour podcast. My name is EricBeals and I am the vice
president of BNI Escondido.

Crystal (00:37):
And my name is Crystal Privette. I'm the president of
BNI Escondido and this is TheSingle CEU Podcast. And today,
we have Chris Sanofia with us.Welcome, Chris. Thanks for
joining us.

Chris DiNofia (00:48):
Thank you so much for having me. I am so grateful
to be here. I'm so grateful forthe 2 of you taking time out of
your busy days to put thistogether. Very, very kind of you
and very much from the heart.

Eric Beels (00:58):
Nice. Doesn't this guy doesn't this guy have kind
of a I think you have a nicepodcast voice.

Crystal (01:03):
Yeah. There you go.

There you go.

Eric Beels (01:04):
So so soothing, so soft. I love it.

We'll see. We'll see.

Eric Beels (01:10):
So, today, we you wanted to talk about lifelong
learning, or like a foreverstudents.

Yeah.

Eric Beels (01:18):
And, so but before we get into that Yeah. Tell me a
little bit about who you are andand Sure. And what you do. Just
tell the audience about what youdo and how you got into what
what Yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I am in the mortgage
business. I've been a mortgagelender for 22, moving on 23
years. Came from the restauranthospitality business.
Started washing dishes when Iwas 15. Reached a certain point
and decided, that I'd reachedthe top of that industry as a
general manager of a restaurant.And finally, I just said, hey.

(01:51):
I'm kinda ready for somethingelse. And, went and got my real
estate license, decided that Ilike doing loans more than the
real estate part.
And, really, the rest is ishistory. It's, it's been a it's
been a great run. And as long asI have at least a handful of
marbles rolling around upstairs,I plan on staying in the
business. Mhmm. Yeah.
Yeah. Nice. So you have, stayingin the business. Yeah. Yeah.

Eric Beels (02:11):
Nice. So you have a kind of a it sounds like a bit
of a wide range in that sensefrom restaurant to

I really do. Yeah. Yeah. I I always had a
pretty strong work ethic as akid growing up on the East
Coast. You wintertime, youshoveled driveways.
You, mowed yards. And then Iwas, had a paper route, and then
I was, you know, washing dishesby the time I was 15 and just
always been working. Yeah. So

Crystal (02:37):
But you're also very humble because you're a great
connector in our BNI group.You're always thinking and
putting other people first andtaking action, and we love
having you. You're an asset.

Mhmm.

Crystal (02:46):
Thank

you. Thank you so much. I I I do believe 2
qualities that you always wannawork on are being humble and
hungry. And the humble part,it's it's easy to tell when
somebody's humble. They stop andthey listen.
Right? And they they and theyask more questions. That's
what's being a true lifelonglearner and wanting to

(03:08):
completely take it in, andthat's being humble. You don't
really learn anything by talkinglike I'm doing right now. Mhmm.

Eric Beels (03:14):
So Well, you know, I think, yeah, let let you know,
listening is is, you you know,we have, you know, 2 ears, I
think, for a reason wherebecause we should listen twice
as much as we speak. Right? And,and, yeah, I mean, that's it's
it's it's an important importantthing to important it's actually

(03:37):
a skill set, I think, you know,to to really,

Crystal (03:39):
to Active listening.

Eric Beels (03:40):
Active listening. Yeah.

Crystal (03:42):
The listening to learn about the other person instead
of listening to respond. Sure.Quite often, we get so caught up
in wanting to connect with otherpeople that we're, like, wanna
tell them how we relate, butthey're not really telling you
that story to relate to them.Yeah. They want they want to be
heard.
Yeah. And and I think Julie wason here, and she was telling us

(04:03):
how she loves the activelistening part of communication
Absolutely. Because it's a twoway street.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's and and I think it's
just human nature that, youknow, if Eric was telling me
about a trip to the Grand Canyonwhen he's finished, oh, yeah. I
went there too, and I did this.Well, here's just a a thought I
have.
Don't do it. Mhmm. As much asyou want, don't do it. The next
thing is, well, where did youand your family stay? Where did

(04:31):
you hike?
You know, leave out about yourpart. Because they for some
reason, I just think it theperson who's telling you the
story, they feel better aboutthat than you coming back and,
you know, and you and I and Iget it. You think that you're
showing

Eric Beels (04:44):
It's almost like you're kinda 1 it's almost like
you're 1 upping them. You'relike, you're you're you're like,
oh, I have a better story thanwhat they're telling me right
now. Just wait till I show them.And then but they're excited
about that, you know, and I I'veI've actually gotten a sense
like that before too where Ithat actually crossed my mind.
Yeah.
And now and then I kinda caughtmyself. And I was like, wait. I
don't if I say that I'm gonnadownplay, you know, their

(05:05):
excitement for their their thingthat they experience. Mhmm. And,
you know, that was that wasmoment where I kind of reeled
that in.
But I'm sure there's been plentyof other times where, like, I
said something and didn't evenrealize that I was downplaying,
like, what they were saying.And, and then and maybe didn't
even, like, recognize it, andsomeone kinda feels bad. Like,
well, I don't wanna talk to thatEric guy.

Crystal (05:26):
You're trying to be relatable. You're trying to
connect, but, ultimately, you'reessentially missing the forest
for the trees. Mhmm.

Yeah. I think you nailed it. You're you're trying
to show that you have somethingin common

Crystal (05:38):
Mhmm.

But, really, it's kinda burning the forest down.

Crystal (05:41):
Yeah. That's true.

Yeah.

Crystal (05:43):
Yeah. Yeah. And it's a great, a lot of personal
development is these sides ofourselves that we don't really
see. Yeah. It's the facet thatmaybe we don't really have an
awareness on.
And then once like you said,once you have an awareness,
you're like, maybe I shouldn'trespond that way. Maybe I
should, like Chris said, askanother question about them
instead of making it trying tobe more about me. That's kind

(06:05):
of, like, actually the end ofour, b and I. When we have the I
have portion, that's really notsupposed to be like, oh, I have
4 testimonials. I have It's

Eric Beels (06:16):
not it's not supposed to be Yeah. I have
this. Look how great I did. No.It's more about praising the
other person happy.

Crystal (06:21):
Exactly. That's their opportunity to show, look, this
this person is amazing. Thisperson's amazing, and that, when
our chapter does it right,that's where, really, the guests
are impressed. I've heard timeand time again that they say,
oh, well, I heard you guyspassing business, and that
testimonial portion is almostfor the guest as well, the

(06:41):
visitors, to see and for us toremind us how much is being
passed around.

Eric Beels (06:47):
Yeah. I think we used to it used to I think for a
while, it wasn't even like, wedidn't even do testimonials. It
was basically, like, you know, Iwe used to kinda say, like, I
have power of 1 and and orsomething. But, like, saying
power of 1, I think and then wekinda got away from that because
it was, like, you say power 1,guests are like, what the heck
is that? Yeah.

Crystal (07:07):
Or if

Eric Beels (07:07):
you're a new member, you're like, what it doesn't
it's kind of this meaninglessnumber, really. Like, it doesn't
really do you do you know whatpower of openness? Okay.

I do.

Crystal (07:15):
I wasn't sure. Wait. Wait. Wait. What is it?
Because I I'm curious.

Yeah. So power of 1 is that you did 1 one to 1.
You had one lead, and you did 1CEU.

Crystal (07:25):
Yeah. But that's what people think it is, but isn't it
also one visitor?

Eric Beels (07:29):
I I I think it's technically supposed to be one
visitor. I I don't know anyonereally because the visitors can
be harsh, but I think you're Ithink you're technically right.
Yeah.

Crystal (07:37):
So a lot of time when people are saying power of 1,
I'm like, well, I haven't seen avisitor. So in my brain, I don't
think it's even beingarticulated properly.

Eric Beels (07:47):
Gotcha. Gotcha. So but we we we switched that to
the testimonials, and I thoughtthat's it's such a more powerful
thing than than

than than

Eric Beels (07:57):
than, you know, saying, like, you know, I had
one referral. Like, that'sgreat. They had a referral.
Yeah. But it's so much morepowerful to to say, like, hey.
I had maybe I had a referral forthis person, and they did such
an amazing job. Let me explainlet me let me explain how great
this person was for a few for afew seconds. And that and that
goes so far, I think, tohonestly help because, like,

(08:20):
when I think when you so there'san interesting sub sub like, I
think subconscious thing thatwhen you praise somebody else,
you like them more now.

Crystal (08:30):
Yeah.

Eric Beels (08:30):
Okay? They like you, but I think you like them more
when you consciously vocalizethat, that I like what this
person did or I I I I praisethem as long as it's authentic,
though. Of course. And and so Ithink that overall, like, over
time is is going to help, justcreate better and stronger

(08:53):
connections with the chapterSure. Just amongst everybody in
in the in the chapter.

Absolutely. I fully agree. I think it's right
up there if you say, hey. I lovean In N Out Double Double
Burger. You just makes you loveit even more.
Yeah.

Crystal (09:06):
I might And, really, everyone should be saying
something about everyone elseeven if you haven't done
business with someone. We've wehad one to ones together. We
know about things about thatperson that we could, you know,
give a testimonial for just alittle bit to, you know, maybe
that I had a one to one withChris, in and out.

There you go. There you go.

Eric Beels (09:28):
It's it's funny. At my my church, once a year, we
have, like, like, a, like, achurch camping trip. So, like, a
lot of church members are ableto go to it. And one of the
things that we we, make a pointis to have a moment during the
camping trip, what we callverbal high fives. And, it's I I
just realized it's very similarto the testimonials actually

(09:51):
that we do in in in b and I.

Gotcha.

Eric Beels (09:54):
And basically what it is is just like, okay. You
made a connection with someone.What what you know, like, and we
all get a big group together.There's 50 of us, and then
people will say, like, I like,you know, this person. Here's
what I love about them.
And then you just give themSure. You you you praise them
basically.

Sure. That's awesome. I love that.

Eric Beels (10:12):
And and it's one of the, like, most, like, kind of,
you know, powerful moments ofour Sure. Of our camping trip
because you really kind of hear,like, what how someone maybe
helped out unload stuff orwhatever. Absolutely anything.
And it goes so far for buildingrelationships. So the the
testimonial portion is is reallyimportant with that that that I

(10:34):
think, just building up the thethe, what's the word I'm
thinking of, The, like like likeraising the raising the bar of
the the room, I guess.
Like, the energy of the room.Like, the praise energy, I
guess. Sure. Lines.

It it probably has the good chemicals, the
serotonin, everything goingthrough. Absolutely. I you know,
I really do feel that speakinghighly of other people from the
heart, listening, they're alldifferent ingredients that go
into empathy.

Crystal (11:09):
Yeah.

And empathy is just a skill that I just try to
get better at with all the timeat going from 0. I think I'm
making my way up somewheremidway up the scale. But it's
just so important to really sitand just really think, what is
that person thinking right now?In my business, just in life in
general, at the grocery store?Right?

(11:29):
Whatever it may be. You know?Really, really tuning into them.
And I think empathy is a way tostop thinking of yourself and
thinking of other people andputting them first. Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Crystal (11:39):
And what tips would you have for someone listening to
this if they wanted to start tobe more empathetic? What has
worked for you?

Yeah. Yeah. So, first, I think it's important to
know that kinda what you and Iwere talking about before the
show, Crystal, is everybody hasgrown up different. Everybody
does things for their ownreasons. Right?
And you never know what somebodyis going through.

Crystal (12:04):
Mhmm.

Eric Beels (12:04):
Right?

You could be in the gas station going in to get
a Pepsi or something. You haveno idea what that person behind
the cash register went through.And in a way, you need to kind
of assume that they're reallyhaving a tough day and really
kinda sometimes, it's just amatter of saying, how are you
doing? Right? Tom Cicabucci fromour group, he likes to do that
when he talks to people on thephone and just really, really

(12:26):
mean it.
How are you doing? Not just a,you know, hey. How's it going?
Really, truly ask.

Crystal (12:31):
Yeah.

And then just listen. Like we said, just
listen. And, to show that youhave that support. Right? So I
think sometimes people don'trealize that just being there
and listening to them is is whatthe people need.
Mhmm. Right? Yep. You could bebringing something with you. You
could be giving them a gift orwhatever, but just showing that
you really care is reallyimportant.

(12:52):
Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah.

Eric Beels (12:53):
And so so, how how has you been more empathetic?
How has that helped you in yourbusiness? Like, in what ways
have you seen that? That?

Absolutely. I think in all our businesses, you
have to listen first. Right? AndI think it's really important to
ask, listen, ask, listen, ask,listen, ask, listen. You just
need to keep going back andforth with that because it
really just there's there therewas a study, and I wish I knew
this back when I waited tables,but there was a study that when

(13:25):
the waiters and waitressesrepeat the order back repeat the
order back to the clients.
Their tips go up 20% or orwhatever, you know. Mhmm. 5 5%
or whatever. And then because itshows that you're listening to
them. And when I'm speaking to aclient, in a way, you have to
mirror them, but you have torespond back that okay.

(13:45):
So you you're looking for a nonowner occupied property
investment. You would prefer itto be a condo in this area. You
wanna keep your monthly paymentto this. You're hoping to rent.
That that did I hear youcorrectly?
Did that was that clear? Andthat just shows that they've
been heard.

Eric Beels (14:01):
Oh, I like that a lot because I so I was just kind
of taking myself kind of placingmyself at, like, a restaurant,
like, at Chili's or somethingtoo. Yeah. And I was just kind
of picturing, like, okay. Whatwould that I never because I
never thought about, like, if ifwaiters or waitresses I don't
even I didn't even, like, catchthat if they do that. And I
thought about it.
I was like, oh, yeah. If they ifthey just kinda, like, wrote it

(14:24):
down, and and, like, I told themtold I told them my order and
then they sort of and then justwalked away. Yeah.

I'd be

Eric Beels (14:28):
like, did they get it right? Yeah. And then I'd be
kinda concerned now.

Yeah.

Eric Beels (14:32):
And I could see that subconsciously, like, later on
be like, oh, that they wereokay. And I I lowered my and
then I I lowered my

Crystal (14:38):
He's talking about houses.

Eric Beels (14:41):
No. I know. I know.

Crystal (14:42):
No. I know. You step it up a notch.

Eric Beels (14:43):
No. I know. Right. Right.

But but soon as Eric's meal arrives, he's
sitting there with a fork andknife. Did they put the beans in
there like I told him not to?

Eric Beels (14:51):
No. But I I think the same the same thing applies.
I think it's a, like, a

Crystal (14:54):
relay level. Yeah. I think

Eric Beels (14:55):
it's a a relatable way to to kind of, like like,
perceive that from the the thecustomer's end. Sure. Right?
Because we might be we might go,okay. Nope.
Like, yep. I got it. Great.That's fantastic. Yeah.
And then but then not repeatingback, they go,

did they get did they

Eric Beels (15:13):
do they really get it? Should they really
understand what my concern is ormy problem is or whatever?

Yeah.

Eric Beels (15:19):
That's something yeah. I'm gonna definitely yeah.
I'm gonna be more conscious ofthat. I don't know if I I don't
know if I do that. I'm notreally sure if I really pay
attention if I'm if I repeat.
And then someone's asking mewhat they want for, like, what
they're hoping to achieve on apodcast. I don't know if I
repeat that thing. I think I'm Imaybe normally just go, okay.
You know, that that that thatcould that I may just agree with
them and not necessarily, like,repeat

it. Sure.

Eric Beels (15:42):
So I might I'm gonna definitely I think I'll see.

You probably also have other great ways of showing
that you care. Right? Mhmm. Weall know that the the line no
one knows cares what you knowuntil they know how much you
care, and I think that's just away of showing that you do

Crystal (15:54):
care. Obviously. I mean, even now, you're trying
to, like, give him an alley oop.You're like, okay. It's okay,
buddy.
Here.

Well, I know Eric's such a nice guy. I mean,
he's here right here right now.

Crystal (16:04):
But that what you're talking what he's talking it's
actually a sales technique aswell to to regurgitate or
reiterate or mirror Yeah. Whatthey're saying so that they it's
a level of comfortability.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So But like

Crystal (16:20):
you said, these are all skills that you're developing.
Your personal development hastaken you to really great
places. It's

you know, it's I was when when I got into the
business, I've always been I'vealways been pretty good at not
to beat my chest or anything,but I've always been pretty good
at what I did. But, once Istarted to work on me, then
everything just rose. You know,once I went to work on me, and
I'll tell you just a quicklittle story. Back in June of

(16:51):
2013, I went to a 6 weekconference, one day per week for
6 7 weeks. And then there wasall kinds of homework in
between.
And on the first day, thegentleman asked he said, on a
scale of 1 to 10, what would yousay your level of optimism is?

(17:13):
And he just meant life ingeneral. And I thought about it.
I really, really thought aboutit. And I said, you know, I I
come from a very sarcasticfamily.
And 5 kids, and the parents aremore sarcastic than we are. And
and and that there can that cankinda lean to the negative side.
And then just a lot of differentjokes, things of that, and I

(17:33):
started thinking about it. Ijust started thinking in
general. I was like, you know,Chris, I'm you're probably about
a sex, and I just was disgustedwith myself.
I said, wow. That is justhorrible. And I'm in this

Eric Beels (17:45):
He said you're you're I said that twice about
that.

I said to myself. He was asking us all to gauge
it. And I thought to myself,okay. I I'm feeling really good
right now. I'm feeling reallypositive.
I'm really feeling reallymotivated. But I've been in
these seminars before and I knowwhat happens. You leave. You
have the notes. Next thing youknow, the notes are in the
bathroom.

(18:08):
The next thing then, you know,you can't find them. And it
rinses off. Well, I don't wantthat to happen. So how do I keep
this from happening? Well, if Iconstantly indulge myself and
just constantly have audiocoming through the coming in,
reading, listening, hanging outwith the right people.

(18:29):
You know, I think I can keepthat I can keep this going. And
I am lucky. I am blessed to havean hour commute each way to
work. And I say blessed because,our good old friend Zig Ziglar
used to say, you need to turnyour car into Automobile
University. Every time you getin, there should be something

(18:51):
that is working with you.
And so for since 2013, I justconstantly on my commute,
sometimes an hour there, an hourback, I am constantly putting I
between that and reading,without exaggeration, probably
600 nonfiction books, you know,something of that nature in the

(19:11):
last since 2013. So I'm justconstantly putting it in there,
constantly going over, you know,where do I need where do I need
improvement. Right? Is it is itmy marriage. Right?
Five love languages. Right? Isit, is it maybe it's my my job.
And now, I have a breakdownwhere I start off every day. I'm

(19:35):
I'm in the bible when I wake up.
So right away, the coffee, and Ihave my Bible open. Then after
that, I, put the headphones on,and it's personal growth.
Lately, I've been on anotherstoicism kick. I love stoicism.
I love Ryan Holiday.
Great book. I'll just throw outthere. Ego is the Enemy, one of

(19:55):
my favorite books. Listening nowfor the 3rd time. And so I go
through that.
Then I get in the car, and it'sall about my job. So it's what's
going on in the market. Whatdifferent loan guidelines are
out there? Maybe it's a coachingcall I'm on. It's one of those
things.
And then, of course, all day atwork, I'm just I'm inundated

(20:17):
with educational moments, right,that I may be giving or hearing.
And then on the way home, it's alittle more relaxed. It's gonna
usually be US history ortheology, and then I finish the
day with the bible again, Youknow? And and doing that for so
many years, once I went to workon me, one of my favorite

(20:38):
authors is Jim Rohn, the oldspeaker who passed away in 2009,
unfortunately. But he said, youknow, it's not the making of the
$1,000,000 that's important.
It's what you had to become tobe able to do that. Right? So
many people just use lotterywinners, for example. They get
the money, it's gone. Yeah.
Yeah. Because they they don'thave the ability to hold on to

(21:00):
that. Whereas, you'll havesomebody who makes a $1,000,000
then they make 2,000,000 andtheir net worth is this because
they've learned the ability todo that. And, I just think, you
know, lifelong learning is soimportant. It's just you just
always need to be a student.
I mean, and there's just so manyinteresting things out there,
and you can pick up, go to thelibrary on a subject you know
absolutely nothing about Romanhistory

Crystal (21:22):
Yep.

And just delve into it, you know, and and and
there's just so much out there.

Eric Beels (21:27):
Yeah.

So You

Eric Beels (21:28):
know, I actually, you can actually look this,
online. There's a lot of storieson people who, like, won the
lottery and, like, kinda likewhat happened to them
afterwards. It's like, oh, theymust be, you know, in a mansion
somewhere.

Crystal (21:40):
They might be tired.

Eric Beels (21:41):
Yeah. A lot of them. I mean, that happens to some of
them, but a lot of them, havehave been on record, and they'll
say, like, yeah. Winning thelottery was the worst thing that
ever happened to me.

And most of them went back to their old level.
Yep. And so in order to raisethe ceiling on your income
level, one of my favorite linesfrom Jim Rohn, he says, you
know, you work hard on your job,you make a living. You work hard
on yourself, you make a fortune.

Eric Beels (22:06):
Mhmm.

Per the, income seldom exceeds personal
development. And I think it's,raise the lid. John Maxwell
always talks about, you know, ifyour if your business and your
income is at a 5 and you wannaget it to a 7, you gotta raise
the you gotta raise the lid.Mhmm. You gotta raise yourself
to a 7.
Right? So maybe, use an example,let's say you're a nurse's

(22:27):
assistant, an LVN, and you wannamake more money. Well, then you
go back. You get your degree asa nurse. Okay.
You know, I I I really, reallywanna be a get get my masters
and work the OR department as atrauma case manager, we'll say
Mhmm. Like my sister didactually. And then you go back
to school, and you get that. Andyou build more knowledge. Oh,

(22:48):
you know, I I really wanna be adoctor.
And then you go back, and youget your doctor. It's, oh, I
wanna specialize in hand. Youget a fellowship in hand
surgery. Whatever it may be. Butyou gotta keep raising your
level, or you'll just you'lljust box yourself in where you
are.
Yeah.

Crystal (23:01):
Because you attract your energy signature actually
attracts where you're at, notwhere you want to be. So you
have to raise that energy andvibration so that you can
attract something at a highervibration, which is what you
want.

Gotcha. Gotcha. I love that. Mhmm.

Eric Beels (23:16):
Yeah. I love how so I I love you have it sounds like
you have such a a very, like,like, healthily structured self
development day. It sounds likelike you you kind of it's almost
like this, like, selfdevelopment sandwich is what
came to kind of mind. Right? Youkinda start off with, like,
spiritual development

Yeah.

Eric Beels (23:35):
And then you go into you start you start your day
going to work development onyour on your drive on the way to
work.

Mhmm.

Eric Beels (23:42):
And then, on the way home, there's like because I
think there's a certain level. Iknow for me, I get if I do all
this kind of, like, work andeducational stuff to kind of do
this, I kinda get burned out,and then I'm just like, ah,
yeah. And so so but in in inyour case, you're learning,
like, some his hit, history. Soit's just that's, you know, like

(24:04):
some other just mind Mhmm. Youknow, know, increasing your mind
is something that you you youtruly do you really enjoy.

Yeah.

Eric Beels (24:11):
Like, whatever your personal hobby development might
be or something. It might youknow, somebody else could be
something else. Maybe it's, youknow, football, learning more
about football, and then it'sstrategy in that or something
like that. Right? Absolutely.
Whatever your passion might be.

Absolutely. And I think the trap that I've gotten
into before, though, is justpushing all that stuff into my
head. And, again, it was JimRohn that said, you know, you
need to take time to reflect.Mhmm. And reflecting is a way of
use utilizing equity of pastexperiences.

(24:45):
Right? And so as you reflect,you really let the stuff soak
in,

Eric Beels (24:50):
you know.

And it's like, you you know, I mean, I'll read
a passage, you know. I I knowthis isn't a religious topic
here, but I'll read a passage,and it and it and I'll and I'll
just, you know, I'll just sit

Crystal (25:01):
on that for days.

Yeah. I'll sit on that for days and just really
let that go through and, youknow, whatever it may be,
certain quotes, you know, ViktorFrankl, you know, or, you know,
whoever it may be, just thingsthat just really hit me.

Crystal (25:15):
But you also are reading this content not just to
have it in there, but also toshare it and apply it. You you
just gave an education moment inour, BNI, like, a week ago, last
week. And and the next week, 2women in the group took action
and brought that book to the inperson meeting to share with
other people in the group. Justtell me a little bit about how

(25:36):
that felt. What it

Well, that felt great. But, you you know, you
got it so right is, you know,educating isn't for just
yourself. It's so you can giveit to the others. Right? What's
the the Nelson Mandela line is,you know, who are you not to be
great?
You playing small doesn't servethe world. Alright. One more
time. You playing small does notserve the world. And it's so

(25:59):
true because as you learn, thenyou can help others and you can
give to others.
You can go to libraries and readto kids. You can, you know, tell
kids that have no financialability, you know, that they can
be a homeowner, and this is whatneeds to be achieved and things
of that nature. So I think youyou learn it to give it away,
just like money. Money is goodfor the good that money can do.

(26:22):
Right?
You and I, Crystal, we weretalking about you don't wanna be
a swamp. You wanna be a river.Right? You wanna be flowing and
pouring into other people.That's what life is all about.
I every morning, I read alittle, you know, biblical quote
is, you know, dear lord, help mefind people today who need me,
and help me find people who Ineed. And and I you get that

(26:44):
reticular activator going if youguys are what where are that.
Right? And you start looking forthose people that that need you
and and vice versa. And, okay,who could really use some
mindset help with Crystal?

Eric Beels (26:58):
Mhmm.

And, you know, or who really is out there that
needs to get working on apodcast, you know, for Eric. And
so just really, really tuning inat times. And you gotta you
gotta make it purposeful. Youhave to be purposeful with that.

Eric Beels (27:10):
Well, there's something something to be said
too, like, kind of speakingspeaking those those things into
existence as well too. Because,like, when you you, you know,
you you you speaking what youwant to happen throughout that
throughout the day or or or oror, the week. Like, that's why,
you write down, like,affirmations.

Mhmm.

Eric Beels (27:29):
Sure. And and writing down what those what
what those those things are.And, man, the first time I wrote
down affirmations, it wasactually kinda hard to, like,
speak them actually.

Yeah. You

Eric Beels (27:39):
know, which is saying something because it's
like it's like, wait. I want allthese things. Why are they,
like, hard to say? Yeah. And,

Crystal (27:45):
That's very common, by the way, especially if it's
something that's, far from howyou feel. Like, sometimes people
are trying to say statementswhen we're doing the my process
and you can tell because they'llthe the words will not let come
out

of their mouth. Absolutely.

Crystal (27:59):
And then by the end, they can say it and they're
like, oh, it feels so muchbetter because that's actually
who they are. That's actuallywho you were. Yeah. It was
something in life that made younot feel the way that you should
have really felt.

Eric Beels (28:12):
Mhmm. Mhmm.

Crystal (28:13):
So it really isn't you. It's someone else or something
else that kind of got you off ofyour alignment.

Yep. Gotcha. Yeah.

Eric Beels (28:20):
Yeah. I know when so, like, on you you you
mentioned about kind ofdigesting books and and, like,
for me, I'm a I'm I'm a kind ofa, a slow I know some people,
like, can, like, speed readthrough stuff and somehow able
to digest things. I I've triedspeed reading, and I feel like I
kinda get through a chapter, andI'm just like, I have no idea
what it was. Yeah. Yeah.

(28:41):
No clue. Yeah. And, like, I andI even go back and read and read
through it slowly. The secondtime, if I was kind of you know,
I was like, I I actually dowanna kinda go through this.
I'll go back and read through itagain, and I'll be like, I don't
wanna read any of this.
Yeah. And, like, it's but butit's, like, it's so important, I
think, for the purpose of notjust kind of, like, reading
something Yeah. But for thepurpose of actually digesting
what it is. Whatever thatwhatever your speed is, if

(29:02):
you're if you're a slow readerlike myself and you just slow to
slow digest, read slowly. Ifyou're if you're fast and you
can also digest, great.
Do that then too. Absolutely.

And that's

Eric Beels (29:11):
one of the reasons I don't really do a lot of
audiobooks Sure. Because it'sit's hard for me to digest
audiobooks. Uh-huh. And, youknow, podcasts actually I find
are a lot easier to listen to,because it is just like a
conversation. It's like you'rejust just listening in, finding
the wall Sure.
Listening to a conversation.Audiobooks usually are are kind

(29:32):
of going, you know, sometimesthey're addressing some
difficult topics sometimes. It'sactually hard to comprehend. So

Okay.

Eric Beels (29:39):
But that's just that's just myself there. But
Yeah. The but the focus being onwhat what is was gonna allow
you, to digest what's what'swhat's going on Right. In in
whatever you're reading or thewhatever whatever you're trying
to

learn. Sure.

Eric Beels (29:58):
I think that's that's such an important, like,
thing to focus on. Mhmm. That'swhy I like highlighting, writing
stuff down. Yeah. Reteaching ittoo.
That's the biggest that's a bigthing for for retention
purposes. You learn something,teach it to somebody.
Absolutely. And then, like,it's, like, 90% of your
attention is gonna happenthrough that that that that
teaching moment. Yeah.

(30:19):
So there's, yeah.

It's a muscle. Right? Reading's a muscle. If
you think about go back to yourschool days, right, In, in
September. Right?
You're just barely gettingthrough stuff. And then by May,
June, okay. I gotta do a paperon that. Boom boom boom boom.
Here it is.
Yep. It's so it's a muscle.Mhmm. And the more you read and
the more you listen, it justgets easier and easier. And even

(30:42):
if you if you stop, right, ifyou're not growing, you're
dying.
And you're either doing one orthe other. And I definitely, you
know, have reached plateaus atcertain points and, got my I
gotta tell you, BNI really gaveme a nice shot in the, in the
arm to get back at it because Inever stopped, but I wasn't
taking it in. I wasn't as hungryfor it. And getting into BNI

(31:06):
when I got into BNI, I knew thatI would be able to help people
out, bring in business. I knew Iwould I would be able to add
value to the group.
What I didn't expect was thequality of people. I had no
idea. I had been in somenetworking groups before. And I
would say, I always consideredBNI the up the upper echelon of

(31:29):
all networking groups. But thisEscondido group, it's gotta be
just some of the finest peopleon the face of the earth.
I just and I really mean thatfrom the heart. Just true true
quality people, true givers, andthey're people I wanna surround
myself with. Right? They say youare the average of the 5 people
you spend time with. And that'sthe type of people I wanna be

(31:50):
around.
Mhmm. Yeah. So I think it was atrue blessing that I got the
position. You might remember, II it was it was a battle for me
to get

Eric Beels (31:56):
it. Yeah. I think I think, It was something like

6 other lenders.

Eric Beels (32:01):
Yeah. There was a there was there

was several

Eric Beels (32:02):
others. Yep. Yep.

It was a battle royal.

Crystal (32:05):
Yeah. Yeah. Jason Kalinski, you talked about a
backup plan for the the SC.Yeah.

Eric Beels (32:10):
He was

Crystal (32:10):
talking about having the the people wrestling for it
in their military days

Eric Beels (32:14):
Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

Crystal (32:15):
Working on out.

Eric Beels (32:16):
Your position, the realtor position is similar to
the the residential realtor.Yeah. Financial adviser. Oh,
yeah.

Yeah. They're really tough positions. So but,
yeah, it was it was a blessingthat I got.

Crystal (32:27):
Tough, but they're the golden egg. They're the golden
goose. You know? You guys dohave so many connections because
of the role that you're in. It'salmost a little bit of a
responsibility to take all ofthose assets that you have and,
like, kind of divvy them out.

Eric Beels (32:43):
Oh, yeah. I think one thing that kind of, you
know, you did that really, Ithink, helped play into your
favor so much with getting yourposition actually too was you
you, were were connecting with alot of the members. Sure. You're
connecting with a lot of thepeople on the membership
committee when you would visit.Sure.
And, I was on the membershipcommittee at the time. I took

(33:05):
note of that. I was like, okay.He's connecting with everybody.
He's he's he's putting aninvestment in.

Sure.

Eric Beels (33:09):
And so I think that definitely played a huge part
into you you getting the thethe, position. You're just
making a connection with withus. Like, yeah, we know him
really well. He's Sure. Seemslike a phenomenal person.
And so that I think that playeda role. So, like, that's you
know, like, little things likethat goes so far. But anything
that builds that builds thatrelationship up, like, if you're

(33:33):
I mean, in anything of others,you're trying to join a BNI
chapter or you're you're, tryingto, you know, maybe speak on a
stage or something like that,and then there's only so many
positions, like, make aconnection with the person that
is gonna be the decision makerfor that. Yeah. It goes a long
ways.

Yeah. And I really took it to heart getting
the position, and I'm like,okay. I do not wanna let anybody
down.

Crystal (33:55):
You know?

Eric Beels (33:56):
That's the flip side right here. It's like, oh, I got
it. Oh, shoot. I got it now. NowI really can't.
Yeah.

Right. Right. Right. Yeah. No pressure, Chris,
but we're all counting on you.

Crystal (34:04):
But you did go in, but guns blazing. You did go in and
have, like, the one to ones, andyou people were like, wow. I
think your actions actuallyreinspired some of the other
people Oh, yeah. That were inthe group. You know?
Because after you've been in fora while, it can get a little,
like

Sure.

Crystal (34:19):
Routine, should we say? Yeah. But I love that new
members do bring that vitality.

Eric Beels (34:26):
Oh, it's cool. That's the, like, the the the
plot, plateau plateau part Yeah.That you had mentioned was, you
know, it is really easy to kindof just get really kinda
comfortable. Mhmm. And Inoticed, like, I it's funny
because it's so subtle.
It kind of happens to me all thetime where I'm like, oh, you
know, you know, I'm I'm kind ofworking on things and maybe

(34:48):
you're you're in a rhythm ondoing some some kind of self
development, like readingthrough your your business book
or your bible or whatever it is.And then suddenly, you know, you
realize, like, I haven't Ihaven't read my bible in 2
weeks, or I haven't read my my Istopped why did I stop that
business book? And then Yeah.And, you know, it's what one
thing I like about BNI is BNIkinda has a lot of, these things

(35:13):
kind of, like, in place toactually keep you accountable.
Right?
Like, the traffic lights that wehave. Sure. And and we talked a
little bit about that with onon, Jason's episode, and he and
and it's, the the the trafficlights help keep you
accountable. That's why I wannamake sure I always kind of send
those out all the time becauseyou kinda look at it and you go,

(35:33):
oh, I'm not I'm not as I knowwhere I should be, or I'm doing
better than I thought it was orwhatever. Right?
And so because it actually kindahelps keep you accountable, I
think, from avoiding that thatcomfortable plateau. I'm having
so much trouble saying that wordtoday. I don't know why. Yeah.

Crystal (35:47):
But let me give you a little ounce of credit. You
mirrored him back earlier. So Ijust wanna let you know you you
might be doing it and notrealizing.

Eric Beels (35:55):
Oh, okay.

But, you know, but, you know, what you said,
though, is true. And and it'sone of my favorite quotes is
what you focus on expands. Mhmm.Right? If the more you focus on
something, right, if you say,hey, I just wanna have a ripped
body, and you're going to thegym every day and you're eating
the right foods, you're gonnahave a ripped body.

Eric Beels (36:13):
You

know, if you wanna own multiple properties
and you spend every day justgrinding, grinding on that,
that's what turns out.

Crystal (36:19):
Mhmm.

So and yeah. And I think it was Napoleon Hill in
one of his less popular bookstalked about drifting, where
you're just really, you know andand really, you're either
growing or dying. And even ifyou know something really well,
right, if we took podcast andpodcasting away from Eric, and
Eric didn't do it for a year ayear, he would become pretty dim

(36:40):
on the subject or a lot dimmer.Right? It it's it's not always
like riding a bike, and it'slike you just gotta keep on
working on it and honing yourskills and getting better at it
and adding more to it.
And and, you know,

Eric Beels (36:53):
you're evolving.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, Crystal,

Eric Beels (36:56):
I have a question for you, actually, because this
is kind of in your realm, right,with the the self self self
development stuff. What wouldyou say if someone's kind of
like like I imagine there mightbe some people who've never
really kind of thought much onthe the, self self doing self

(37:16):
development for business orwhatever. Just they just kinda
learn and then they just, youknow, they just do what they do.
How what would you say? Howwould you, help somebody to kind
of get in that self developmentrhythm?
Like, where would somebody beginassuming someone that has never
really conceived of the thoughtof of doing much self
development

Crystal (37:37):
Yeah.

Eric Beels (37:38):
And that taking that conscious action towards it?

Crystal (37:40):
Okay. Well, I'm selfishly going to say that I
have a resource on my website,mindset service.com, that they
could do a little a check-in andassess 12 different areas of
their life. But, essentially,like Chris said, what you're
focusing on is what youmanifest, what you think you
become. So, really, it's aboutbalance because there's some
people who go to the gym everysingle day. Chris is going to

(38:03):
the mental gym every day.
Mhmm. There's balance that'srequired in all aspects of life,
and, most often, it's the thingwe don't want to do that is the
thing that's going to get uswhere we need to go. So, if you
felt like you don't want to takea step towards personal
development, there might be areason why. There might be a

(38:23):
reason that you're feeling like,oh, maybe I maybe I didn't feel
like I have a connection withmyself personally. Maybe I don't
know what I wanna grow into.
There could be things holdingyou back, and my my like, Chris
is nailing it on the head too.It's all about your intention
and your heart. Where what doyou want to be? What do you want
the world to remember you? I Iit really comes with yourself

(38:46):
first, and then you can buildthe legacy out from there.
If we don't work on ourselves,it sounds like Chris's life went
exponentially better once helearned to cultivate himself.
It's like growing a garden.Yeah. Our mind is a garden. If
we tend to the garden, it growsand creates this beautiful,
nourishing, con you know, stufffor us.

(39:08):
But if we don't, then it getsfull of weeds, and the weeds
will take over the garden. Socultivating your mind is
something like Chris is doingevery day. It doesn't have to
look exactly like what Chrisdoes, but your own version of
it. Having even a morningroutine is incredibly powerful.
When you start a small morningroutine, no matter what it is, 1

(39:29):
or 2 things that nourish you, itdoes give you this foundation
and this ability to stabilizethroughout the day so you do
feel stronger.
Because there's a study thatsaid that by 8:36, you've
already determined the theenergy of your day.

Eric Beels (39:44):
8:36 in the morning?

Crystal (39:46):
In the morning. Yeah. But because of by that time,
you've either broken out of thatnegative manifestation loop
because

Eric Beels (39:54):
What what what what if you're not an early bird like
myself?

Crystal (39:59):
This was probably an average. I'm assuming it was an
average.

Eric Beels (40:02):
So there's probably some people that throw

Crystal (40:06):
that average off. But, the the statistic was basically
saying that you you can kind ofessentially gauge your day by
the morning portion of it.

Eric Beels (40:16):
Yeah.

Crystal (40:16):
And if you take that time to solidify and ground
yourself and root into who youreally are, taking a moment for
yourself will allow you to pourinto other people. And I think
as entrepreneurs, we get stuckin our lane thinking, oh, I
gotta do this. I gotta do this.I gotta do this. And Chris'
message is so poignant that takea time to fill your gas tank so

(40:38):
that you can drive faster.

Eric Beels (40:40):
You know, you you that I love that you said that
because it it so because I'venoticed that if I can sometimes
it's empty for me to just kindof get up and start working, but
I found that if I do that, thatkind of brings, like, a little
bit of stress, and then whatends up happening is that kind
of extrapolates that the wholeday, then I'm just stressed that
the entire day. Mhmm. But if I,like, get up extra early and and

(41:03):
and kind of, like like, plan outsome time to do some, you know,
personal self development,whatever that that that might
be, something that's morecalming than just getting right
to working Yeah. Then, I tend tobe a lot more calm throughout
the the rest of the day. Like,even, like, later on in the day
at 4 PM or whatever.
Right? And so and so I yeah.That's And

Crystal (41:28):
it actually it's really interesting. So the the process
that I do, the the doctors thatdoctor Bruce Lipton and Joe
Dispenza use, He ran a study,and his name's doctor Jeffrey
Fan. And in the study is called,the findings found this 17
second rule. So in 17 seconds,if you're thinking of something
good or if you're thinking ofsomething bad, the chemicals in

(41:51):
your body will begin to changebased on what you're thinking
of.

Mhmm.

Crystal (41:55):
And then in 68 seconds, the cells of our body begin to
change. So this is where thatmorning routine is really
important because if you wake upand you're like, this is gonna
be my day. I'm gonna say my 4affirmations. I'm gonna read my
book and have my coffee full oflove. That's like my morning
routine.
Then you it gives you anopportunity to not go into the

(42:19):
the 68 second part where if youdon't do that, then maybe you're
gonna spill your coffee. Maybeyou're gonna stub your toe.
Maybe you're late for work. Andthen like Eric just said, you
can't wait for the day to beover on those kinds of days.
That's Sure.
It's a negative manifestationloop. So it can go positive or
negative. And that's what Chrisis talking about is taking that

(42:40):
energy and and letting it gotowards a positive direction. It
sounds like he even had toreally cultivate. This is
something that you do have tolearn.
Even as a young kid, he had tomake a conscious decision on who
he wanted to be.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think also knowing that there
will be challenges in every day.Right? Yes.
You gotta set off set off on theright foot. But knowing that
there will be challenges, youknow, a a way of living that has
really worked for me is I don'tknow if you guys ever heard of
the Stockdale Paradox. Mhmm.Admiral is this is written in

(43:15):
Jim Collins' book, great Good toGreat. But Admiral James
Stockdale was one of the highestranking military officials shot
down in the Vietnam War, at theHanoi Hilton, spent 7 years
there, would routinely be takenout and tortured.
And a lot when he came out, alot of people a lot of people

(43:39):
that were with him didn't makeit. And, you know, he was at
they were asked like, what youknow, how did you make it out?
And a lot of people didn't. Andhe said and he goes, well, you
know, a lot of people in therewould say, hey, we're gonna be
out of here by Christmas. We'regonna be out of here by
Christmas.
And Christmas would come and go.And, we're gonna be out of here
by Easter. We're gonna be out ofhere by Easter. And Easter would

(44:00):
come and go. And eventually,they would die of a broken
heart.
And he goes, this is what I'vewhat I've learned. You need to
have overwhelming faith that youwill succeed with the most
brutal discipline to face theobstacles that are in front of
you, and you're not getting outof here by Christmas. And so it
was kinda like when I ran amarathon years ago. It's like, I

(44:23):
knew I could do it. I wasoptimistic, but I knew it was
gonna suck.
Mhmm. You know, I knew it wasgonna be brutal going up to 163,
you know, at on 8 mile 18 orwhatever it was. So I think
every day, if you just say, hey.I'm gonna succeed. There's gonna
be challenges.
Or I wanna reach this goal. Iwanna make x amount of dollars
per year. I can do this, butthese are the obstacles that are

(44:44):
in front of me.

Crystal (44:45):
So expectations.

Yeah. So, again, it's just having an attitude of
being positive, knowing you willsucceed with the discipline to
know that there will beobstacles.

Eric Beels (44:54):
Yeah. Yeah. I think I think there's, there's, an
aspect to to, like, set, like,the, achievable goals as well
too. Right?

Crystal (45:03):
Yeah.

Eric Beels (45:03):
Sure. Because I I could see if you've said, like,
I'm gonna do, you know,$4,000,000 a year or whatever as
your, like, goal. But maybe ifyou're but if you're doing
$80,000 a year, that's such agargantuan jump. Absolutely. You
know what I mean?
It could very quickly turn intobeing I've been like, I'm never
gonna reach you

Crystal (45:20):
there, you

Eric Beels (45:20):
know, or whatever. And so, you know, setting the
right the right goals for whereyou're currently at

Sure.

Eric Beels (45:28):
I think is really, really, is really important to
not get overwhelmed or justheartened by it. And then also,
like, kind of just focus on whatyou can need to kinda do today,
I guess, that for that's gonnahelp you, like, achieve those
goals, whatever whatever thatis. Like, focus on today. Don't
worry about so much on tomorrow.You know, have a maybe a plan,

(45:49):
but, like, focus on today as theis is what you're mostly
focusing on.
Yeah.

Right. The the 8th wonder of the world by
Albert Einstein is is thecompound effect. Right? And I
think you guys have probablyread the book, The Compound
Effect by Darren Hardy. Youmight have heard that.

Eric Beels (46:03):
I bet. I I'm gonna look that one up, though.

Yeah. And he just talks about doing something a
little bit every day. And so,for me, it didn't start out by
doing all these things, but, youknow, I think you do start off
with a mindset, and you get yourmindset right. Right? The the
chef of life shows up at yourbed every morning, and he hands
you a menu.
And there's 2 things on there,good day or bad day. Right? And

(46:26):
you can you know, you wanna pickgood day, but just know, you
know, you're gonna be working tohave that good day. And so, you
just but you constantly work onthings. And it's just like like
growing income.
A lot of people, you know, lookat these get rich schemes, the
lottery, and even Bitcoin. Yep.You know, to me, a lot of that
is just gambling. Whereas realreal investing is boring as

(46:49):
heck. It it's diversifying andjust letting it sit and adding
to it and just leaving it alone.
You know, people wanna day tradeand they wanna do this, and it's
like that stuff.

Eric Beels (46:58):
You know, the the thing that's never, like, sat
sat right with me with, like,Bitcoin and and and on and
really any of thecryptocurrencies is they've
always kind of had, for meanyways, they've always kinda
had this, like, shadow of greedsurrounding it, where it's like,
you know, you're not investingin crypto in in Bitcoin because

(47:18):
you like Bitcoin.

Yeah. Yeah.

Eric Beels (47:20):
No one's, like, doing that. Like, you might
maybe, you know, you mightinvest in, like, a hotel

Mhmm.

Eric Beels (47:25):
Because you like where this hotel, and you like
where it's at, and you like theplacement, and you wanna and and
and and you wanna make a coolplace for for people to to, you
know, like, have a resort at orwhatever it might be. Right? And
that but then it's thatsomething like that is also
simultaneously an investment forfor your business as well. But,
like, something like with withcryptos never really sat right

(47:47):
because I'm like, what's theactual tangible value it
provides? And I I don't doesn'treally provide anything other
than, oh, well, you know what?
It's maybe it'll go up tomorrow,and I could sell it off for
Yeah. You know, and make a quickYeah. $10,000 or whatever. I
don't know.

Yeah.

Eric Beels (48:02):
And and and I I but I've never liked the the the
fact that there wasn't it wasjust overshadowed by kind of,
like, a greediness behind it.I'm not really I don't really
wanna talk to clients to cryptoso much, but, like

Crystal (48:15):
important in life because, I mean, like you're
saying, like, you can't investin something you don't believe
in. Sure. Like, with crypto,it's like, what maybe you're
just I the only value I reallysee is, like, they could hide,
you know, you don't have to totax on it in a certain certain
way.

Eric Beels (48:30):
You can hide stuff.

Crystal (48:31):
Yeah. You can hide stuff. Yeah. But, also, you
don't have the protection.Right.

Eric Beels (48:35):
Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's so it's super dangerous if you
don't know know it don't knowwhat you're doing, on it. And,
like, people have, like, lost1,000,000,000 of dollars from
it. And and, you know, becausethey they didn't properly secure
their

Yeah.

Eric Beels (48:45):
Their their, their their key, their security key
for it. And, so it's, you know,simultaneously very, very
dangerous if you don't know whatyou're doing with it. But, I
mean, you know, maybe I hopehopefully, somebody can prove me
wrong if if there's an idea thatthat I'm

Crystal (49:00):
sure lots of people want to. Yeah.

Eric Beels (49:02):
Prove me wrong. Like, write some you know? Sure.
Comment some somewhere orsomething if if there's if if,
you know, if there if you havean idea on how crypto is is you
know, can have a real goodtangible value

on it.

Eric Beels (49:15):
But I I

I just think real success, real not not that
wealth is success in itself, butreal you have to and it's just
like happiness. You have toensue it. Yeah. You know? And
you have to put into it everyday, and and it's not a get get
rich scheme, you know?
It's like you have to put intoit every day, and it's that
compound effect. And then youlook back years later, like,

(49:38):
wow. I think, you know, withyounger generations, and I'm not
trying to bash on anygenerations at all, but I just
think as you grow older, youdon't have as much of this. When
you're younger, you have a shortterm thought process, and you're
not thinking the long game.

Crystal (49:54):
Yeah. Yeah. Prefrontal cortex,

isn't it? Yeah.

Crystal (49:57):
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Right? Right?
That's not even formed yet.

I think we we one of my favorite quotes is that we
under we overestimate what wecan do in a short period of
time, and we underestimate whatwe can do in a long period of
time. You know, you get like me,getting in your fifties and you
start looking back, and it'slike, wow. Those those seeds
have grown. And it's just like,in business, you know, where

(50:20):
you're constantly plantingseeds. And, you know, some
people in sales I I really don'tI was listening to your
conversation with Wes, which wasfantastic.
But to me, I guess the onlysales part I consider in my job
is getting in front of theperson, but after that, it's
education Mhmm. And educatingthem. And if I have that works
for you, then great. But, youknow, it's maybe it does, maybe

(50:44):
it doesn't. And so I thinkthat's just one of the things
that you just have toconstantly, though, be be
pouring in to people.

Crystal (50:51):
I think that's a great reminder, though, that peep to
people, the audience, and thateducation is something that can
be doesn't have to be bought.Yeah. You can an autodidact is
someone who goes out and justwants to learn, and that's what
how I see you. You go out andyou have this hunger, this this
thirst for the knowledge.

Yeah.

Crystal (51:11):
And it sounds like it's kind of, escalated as you've
gotten older. You got a taste ofthe knowledge. Sure. You wanted
a little bit more. So of all ofthe things that you've learned,
what are, like, 3 tips or 3nuggets of wisdom that you would
like to share with us?
Like

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, the most important
things are I've learned are thethings I've learned since I've
known it all. That's for sure,one one of the most important
things is, you know, probably Iused to say I used to say that
when I get to the pearly gates,I'm gonna say, God, I use every

(51:48):
attribute you gave me. I did myvery best to use everything you
gave me, every quality.
And then it occurred to me thathe's gonna say, well, Chris,
that's great. You know, Idefinitely don't want you to
squander those talents. But whatI really wanna know is what did
you do for other people? Andthat's probably as I've gotten
older, I've kinda wanted tolevel the, you know, the scale

(52:12):
out a little bit. The, the legalscale.
Right? So it's so much the firsthalf is so much about yourself.
But kind of like in Maslow's,pyramid of higher hierarchy, you
wanna start giving to others.And at the end of the day, what
did I give more than I took? Andso, I think really, probably one

(52:32):
of the best bits I would be isnumber 1, you know, think of
others.
You know, really, really careabout others. Wanna give to
others. Wanna help them. Number2, never, never stop learning.
And, it's you just have to keepgrowing.
And then whatever thosedifferent topics may be, you

(52:52):
know, wherever you're coming up,sure. It is your you know, if
you're spending too much time onthis and your marriage is not
doing great, okay, then maybeyou need to spend time on that.
They you know, people alwaystalk about life work balance.
You you really can only do thatone thing at a time.
Multitasking is a way ofscrewing up many different
things at one time.

(53:13):
Right? So I think you constantlyneed to be, working on that one
thing. When I'm with when I'mwith my wife, I'm with my wife.

Eric Beels (53:21):
Right.

You know? I've been married 19 years, best
thing in my life. But when I'mwith her, I'm with her. When I'm
at work and I'm in front ofclients, it's that client only.
It's that's it.
So I think that's reallyimportant. And then kinda going
back really me in. At the end ofthe day, the answer to
everything is I hate to soundkind of fufu, but it's love.

Crystal (53:40):
Mhmm.

At the

Eric Beels (53:40):
end

of the day, you just have to love people, and
that's what it's really gonna beabout in the end. So

Eric Beels (53:46):
And, you know, that that focused attention is
really, really important too.Right? You mentioned
multitasking. Yeah. You know,I've I've I've heard that
multitasking is not, like,really a thing really where it's
like all you're really doing isjust kind of switching from one
thing to another extra quickly,but then now you're you're
splitting your attention in thatin that in that moment.

(54:07):
And I don't know, maybe maybewomen are a little bit better at
that than at handling that thanguys are because there's, you
know, there's that the typical,like, oh, women are good
multitaskers, than than men are,I guess, but I've heard that's
not really much of a thing, butwhen you do that though, when
you try to do that, you're,you're you're you're splitting
your attention. Like, if if, youknow, if you're spending time

(54:29):
with your wife and you get abusiness call and you answer
that call, how does she feelnow? Right? And then also your
your your also your your youryour client or your customer as
well too. It kinda goes theother way around.
You're not giving them theattention that maybe they they
deserve.

Crystal (54:43):
And those boundaries are actually self love because
you're so you're so disciplinedin every aspect where you are
kind of compartmentalizingbecause you're like, this is for
this time. This is for thistime. Everyone gets their time,
but it's there's a time andplace for it. So and but that
also might not work for someother people because some people

(55:03):
don't like a structure as much.So Mhmm.
Whatever works for that person Imean, explore it, but also push
yourself because you weren'tlike this at the beginning. But
by incorporating that selfdevelopment and that growth that
you got to become essentiallysomeone I I I'm inspired by. So

(55:23):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry

to hear you.

Crystal (55:25):
The messages that you gave with love being the answer
is such a beautiful message,especially with everything that
everyone's gone through the lastYeah. You know, 3 years or 4
years. It's it's been a lot as acollective, and we need a giant
hug for humanity. Absolutely.

Absolutely. We really do. It's and that that
you just gotta keep looking atwhat people need and and, you
know, and listen. I'm selfishjust like the next person. Some
days, it's just better just tolie in bed and, you know, my own
problems.
But there's always somebody outthere who needs something and
trying to get better at that.Mhmm. So I always try to get
better.

Eric Beels (55:59):
So what do you do when if you you, you know, you
because we all have rough dayssometimes as well too. How do
you what do you do when, like,you you wanna project love on
onto folks

Yeah.

Eric Beels (56:16):
And onto the people around you, but you've had a
rough day. How do you handle howdo you handle that?

Yeah. You know, sometimes it's you know you
know, it's it's kind of a trick,but it it it's just to listen.
Right? Because let's say I comelet's say I come home, and, you
know, my wife's got a couplefriends. This is just an
example, And I she's got acouple friends over I haven't
seen in a while, and I'm justbeat from my day.
And, you know, maybe they got aglass of wine or something, and

(56:42):
they're all Chatty Cathys, askless and Ask a listen. It's kind
of a trick, you know. It's kindalike, I I care, but I just don't
have, you know I just don't haveit. I don't have the bandwidth.
It's it's like you'reintroverts.
It's money with introverts. Youcan just see it on their
forehead. You can just see whenthey're running out of
bandwidth, and it's like theydon't have it. And I think that

(57:05):
is, like, one of the lessonsI've learned is I just ask
questions. And I care, and I dowanna hear, but I just don't
have as much to bring to thetable at that time.

Eric Beels (57:14):
Mhmm. Yeah.

Was that the right answer? I don't know if
that was the right answer, butthat's just

Eric Beels (57:17):
I thought that was a great answer. Yeah.

Crystal (57:19):
I think it's so good for for the audience to walk
away with the ask, listen.

Eric Beels (57:23):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

Crystal (57:24):
ask and listen some more.

Yeah. Yeah. Because people, you know, it's
funny, and you probably heardthis before. I'll have a
conversation, and I'll let theother person do all the talking
because I wanna learn. And thenlater, god, he's such a great
conversationist.
I didn't say anything. Sorry.

Crystal (57:40):
I don't say

I barely said anything, but I got to learn a
lot.

Crystal (57:44):
Yeah.

Yeah. So

Crystal (57:45):
Yeah. They got to say something, so it made them feel
connected to you.

Yeah. That's what I love about BNI is, like, all
these different occupations, thethings I know nothing about and
that I get to learn about.

Crystal (57:56):
So cool.

Eric Beels (57:56):
Yeah. So ask, listen. I think that's the main
takeaway, I think, to kind ofsummarize everything. Like, ask,
listen is kind of the main, ifyou're gonna take away one
thing, that's probably one ofthe best best things from this.
I love that.
It's very actionable, verypractical as

well. So Yeah.

Eric Beels (58:15):
So, Chris, if somebody wanted to get in
contact with you and and, have aone on one with you or something
like

that, how would they

Eric Beels (58:22):
how would they best do that? What's the best way for
someone to reach out to you?

Sure. My name and phone number, email are all over
the Internet. If you just lookup Chris Dinofia, d I n o f I a,
you'll easily find me on there,or you can call me at
858-212-1443.

Eric Beels (58:40):
Okay. Great. Alright. Thanks so much.

Crystal (58:42):
And I'm sure he'll have a book suggestion for any person
out there.

Absolutely. Absolutely. There's always a
book for somebody at a certainmoment.

Eric Beels (58:49):
Well, thanks so much, Chris. You. This has been
this has been fantastic. If yougot value out of this episode
and and and you, like, really,you learned something new about,
asking, listening, or aboutloving others, and your personal
self self development, and youknow somebody else who you know

(59:10):
what? This person not doing awhole lot of self development.
This could be a great episode,for them. So, share this episode
with them. I think that they'llbe very grateful that you did
that. And it's also how we, helpgrow this show as well. So share
this episode.
Thanks so much for listening.

Crystal (59:28):
Don't forget to log your CEU. Thank you for joining
us for the business boost hour.My name is Crystal Pravette and
this is Eric Beals. Thank youfor joining us, and don't forget
to document your single CEU. Seeyou next time.

Eric Beels (59:43):
See you in the next episode.

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