15. Breaking Free from the Perfectionism Trap with Bryan Gonzalez

Episode Transcript
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Eric (00:26):
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Business Boost Hour
podcast. My name is Eric Bealsand I am the vice president of
BNI Escondido.

Crystal (00:36):
My name is Crystal Prevett and I am the president
of BNI Escondido. Welcome to thesingle CEU podcast.

Eric (00:43):
And today, we have Brian Gonzales. Say hi, Brian.

Bryan Gonzales (00:48):
Hi, everybody.

Eric (00:49):
How are you?

I am doing great this morning.

Crystal (00:52):
Welcome. Welcome. So excited to have you.

Eric (00:55):
Awesome. And so, Brian, why don't you first let's start
off by, introducing yourself tothe listeners and just to tell
us a little a little bit aboutyourself and and, what you do,
and and how long you've you'vebeen in BNI.

Okay. Good. Well, I, my name is Brian
Gonzales, as you know. I, I'd beremiss not to mention my family
first, very important to me. SoI have a wife and 3 children,
couple high schoolers in juniorhigh.
I have been a business owner anda business attorney and a
business and real estate brokerand investor for the last 28

(01:31):
years.

Eric (01:32):
Nice.

And I joined BNI Escondido, about 9 months ago.

Eric (01:38):
Okay. Mhmm.

Yeah. So I'm really fired up about it too.
It's great. It's a

Eric (01:43):
great experience. Is this your first time been in BNI?

It is. I had searched for BNI. I've known
about it for probably 5 or 10years. I moved to San Diego
about 10 years ago and I wasvery busy when I first moved
here, but then I sold a companythat I owned in late 2020 2 and
found some time. And I actuallyjoined the San Marcos Rotary.

(02:11):
And I had been a Rotarian in theLos Angeles area prior to
moving, and so I was able tohave more time to do that. And
one of our members in Escondido,Jo Coyle, his girlfriend is in
the San Marcos Rotary. So we metat a Christmas party about a
year ago. And then I saw himagain at a wine mixer in January
this past year. And he told meabout BNI.

(02:32):
And I had been searching, butnot really Had identified Kendi
though, but wasn't Saw thatthere was a business broker
there actually, and didn'treally But saw it was one of the
bigger clubs, looked like longerterm clubs. And so, I talked to
Joe probably in late January,and he said, Oh, well, that
person's leaving. I do a fewdifferent things. So there was a

(02:53):
few different spots open, but wedecided to go in as a business
broker. Mhmm.

Eric (02:57):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember he had moved away, and
he was moving to Boston. Yeah.
Boston. And I I got to rememberyou came in, like, shortly after
that. So, yeah, it's great.

Crystal (03:09):
Yeah. Life happens. You got to start a family, and we
got a really great new addition.

Yeah. Totally. So

Eric (03:17):
so today, our topic is, the the dangers of
perfectionism. And so I I thinkthis is a phenomenal topic
because it it's something that Iknow I've fallen into this trap.
It's been a long grow, growthfor me on not being a

(03:37):
perfectionist Yeah.Perfectionist myself. And what
what does that mean what doesthat that mean to you?
And and and what what sparkedthe idea for you to, come in
here and kind of, like, bring upthat that topic for for today?

Well, we only have an hour. Right? So just
wanna make sure because, I mean,it'll I can go. I can go as deep
as you want. I can go as deep asyou want.

Eric (04:03):
I'll have you back for a part 2.

Well, I'll tell you that, I think as, at least
in my opinion or for my stories,I aged and went through some
trial and error of life. I liketo say, I failed my way to where
I'm at. Is you have to realize,you come to certain concepts

(04:26):
that you draw upon and that youhave to continually draw upon, I
think, as you wake up every day.I think that we all do things to
try to wake up properly, but itdoesn't always work. And
sometimes things will ruin ourday.
So, one of those concepts, atleast for me, was that, was

(04:49):
about the perfectionism. And itstarted more with, at times when
I've had to be employed, itstarted with kind of a theory of
an interview question and how toturn it around. That's when it
first started. I startedthinking about it probably 20 or
30 years ago. And Yeah, 20 yearsago.

(05:09):
And it was more of an answerinitially to, you know, what's
your greatest fault? It's like,well And the programmed answer
was, well, I used to be aperfectionist, but I learned how
to prioritize, and now I get theright things done timely. And
that sounds great in aninterview, right? And I haven't

(05:30):
had very many interviews, butwhen it worked, and I was asked
that question a couple of times,but that's where it kind of was
born from. And then beingemployed and not being employed
was a majority of my career andhaving to be self employed.
And so self employed soundsgreat, but it's not for the

(05:53):
lighthearted. It's very nervewracking. And so the idea of
perfectionism will transforminto a comfort zone because of
fear, right? And so the realityis that you know, it
metamorphosed, or I should say,it manifest into a different

(06:15):
type of concept in the sensethat it became, I had to start
recognizing it like, well, it'snot a good time to do it yet
because I need to do this. Ineed to do that and I need to do
this.
And that eventually, I figuredthat out, that that really
became just a way to avoidthings. And why am I avoiding

(06:41):
things? Because it's a fear offailure. Right? And it draws
upon, then you start Thatprobably came to me 10, 15 years
ago.
And then, but beyond that,before that, when I had gotten
married or started my firstbusiness or had a child,
frankly, you know, you talk toadvisors in your life and elders

(07:03):
and stuff like that, and they'reso wise. Right? And, you know, I
remember talking to my brotherand he said about, should I get
married? You know, this is 20years ago, maybe longer, 25, 22
years ago. And he said, there'snever a good time to get
married.
You know? And then once you havea I did get married, right? So

(07:25):
I'm coming up on year 20 onTuesday. Nicely. Yeah.
Isn't that great? Yeah. Thiscoming Tuesday.

Eric (07:30):
20. Nice.

And the we'll probably watch a movie or
something. We'll go seeGladiator too, right? Or
children. But anyways, but thenyou have a child and then you
start talking about that andhe's like, There's never a good
time to have a child, right? Andthen I had was a partner in a
business where I had ownershipsome years later, and then I

(07:54):
started my own business.
And then it kind of Anotherperson told me there's never a
good time to start a business.Now, I mean, in general, you
know, it might be you know,there there might be a good time
to start a business based on theeconomy, or on certain trends or
maybe to buy certain stocks, butto actually take the risk is

Eric (08:13):
I think it's like it's never a perfect time.

Crystal (08:15):
Yeah.

Eric (08:16):
Right? There's certainly better times and worse times,
but there's never a perfecttime. And so if your standard
is, like, a perfect time I'mwaiting for the perfect the
perfect time

Mhmm.

Eric (08:25):
To do x y z thing, whether it's have a kid or get married
or or, start a business orwhatever it might be, I think
you're setting you're youautomatically are setting
yourself up for failure.

Crystal (08:40):
Well yeah. And whose perfect time?

Your perfect time? Society's perfect time? I
mean, there's a lot

Crystal (08:41):
of different standards here, and it's, Society's
perfect time? I mean, there's alot of different standards here,
and it sounds like society kindof is glorifying the
perfectionism where it soundslike, Brian was able to, like,
kind of see through some of thatand say, hey. I might need to
prioritize this instead.

Well, yeah. I mean, I'm I'm

Eric (08:58):
kinda going through that, you know, that that aspect this
aspect right now. You mentionedkid and, like, you know, my,
wife right now, at the time ofthis recording, she's 11 weeks
pregnant right now. And, and,you know, we we had but we've
been married for, 5, 6 years nowand had to think about that. And

(09:20):
and it's been, you know and and,you know, but we've waited
because we're like, oh, let'slet's wait for the right time.
Let's wait for the right time onthings.
Like, oh, we're not ready or notor whatever it is and such too.
And then, you know, it kindacame down to, like, we're never
gonna be, quote, ready. Mhmm.And so and so we're just like,
you know what? Let's not let'sjust you know, we have we we and

(09:42):
after kinda thinking about ithonestly, I felt like we
weren't, like, really prepared.
And then I kinda realized I havea very strong church community
that I'm a part of. I haveparents multiple parents from my
in laws and my my biologicalparents from all local. We and
we we have a strong supportivecommunity that will that, like,

(10:06):
like, that that I know just justjust a supportive community in
general. And I was like, whatwhat what is it gonna be ready
for me to kind of have that 7,to, for us to have a kid.

Right.

Eric (10:23):
And I realized, I'm like, man, we're just making excuses.
You know? And I was like, let'sjust let's let's let's let's do
that. Let let let I think thisis a next, stepping stone, next
stage in my life.

Crystal (10:37):
And Which I'm secretly super excited about.

I'm super excited too. Yeah. I love
babies. Right? I love babiestoo.

Eric (10:45):
Yeah. I mean, I just got a video recording of of of my my
my child, like, jumping aroundin the womb and stuff too, which
is the one of the most amazingthings I've ever seen. And it's
still kind of, like, shocking tome where I'm just like, wow.
That's like my kid. I can't Ican't

Do you feel like why haven't I done this sooner?
A little bit. Is that in yourmind?

Eric (11:07):
You know, not really, actually. I don't. And and and I
and I feel like there's acertain aspect of I had to kinda
come almost like come to termsbecause we've kinda talked about
that a little bit where it'slike, you know, what would I be
panicking 10, you know, if I ifit was 10 years ago? Probably.
I'd probably be because it in myhead, I wasn't, like,

(11:30):
necessarily prepared for the thethe not perfect time aspect.
Now I am. Even though I stilldon't feel like it's, like, the
perfect time, the perfect time,quote, perfect time, I still
I'm, like, prepared to recognizenow because I've matured more. I
and I've prepared to recognizethat no time is going to be

(11:52):
perfect. And I I think that's areally important thing you need
to kinda come to terms with and,like, no time is gonna be
perfect. There's just gonna bebetter times and worse times.
And

Crystal (12:00):
Kind of a little bit plays into what Andrew Loewen
was talking about yesterday. Hewas talking about, like, our
house or our life is a castle,and we first we have to put down
the foundation. So

you

Crystal (12:09):
have these last few years been laying the bricks,
put the foundation down, andlike you said, as you get older,
your perspective starts tochange. Things that would have
bothered you in the past, you'rekinda like, oh, I can do that.
So, and the the progress overperfection, I love that that
statement.

Eric (12:25):
What does it what does it mean to you, Crystal?
Perfectionism? Yeah. Like, how

Crystal (12:30):
For me, it's so for me, my my perfection comes from
myself. Like, it stems from my,like, kind of a little bit okay.
Trigger warning. Perfectionismcan be a little bit of a trauma
response.

Mhmm.

Crystal (12:45):
Because if you had a, a a life where you were trying to
get attention, where you weretrying to get validation, maybe
your parents didn't hear whatyou were saying or you didn't
feel a scene as heard, thatperfectionism can turn into
trying to get people to likeyou, and then you can be doing
it for them to like you insteadof for your own, reasons. So for

(13:07):
me, perfectionism, a little bitis a high standard that I put on
myself because of the things Iknow that I could achieve, but
it's that fine line of doing itwith fun and grace and, like,
kind of walking that line of, amI pushing myself a little too
hard?

Eric (13:26):
I I can relate relate to that. Like, because I I used to
be very much like, I'll be theone to kinda get something done,
and and I used to kind of, like,almost like, it was hyper
stressed over things because Iwanted to make sure it was,
like, done Control. Yeah.Perfectly. Yeah.
Control freak completely. And,

I

Eric (13:49):
mean, it really wasn't until recent recently, maybe in
the last days, if it feelslonger ago, but I guess it's
really on the last, like, coupleyears that I've really, for me,
releasing the perfectionism wasactually delegation for me.
Mhmm. And so because I was moreof the along the lines of a

(14:10):
control freak, and that was theperfectionist side of me that
that and I'm an analyticalperson. I was like, no. It's
gotta be done this way.
You know? Very, like,systematic, like, you know, oh,
just let me do it or whatever itis. The the the the problem with
that for me is, man, it raisedmy stress levels massively,
because I was often doing thingsI really did not wanna be doing,

(14:32):
but I just did it because Ericknows better or I knew I could
do it better or whatever. Andwhen that's just in my head. I
probably can't do it better.
I just think that I can. But forme and and and so for

Crystal (14:46):
me, it was less variables. If you do it, it's
just going ahead and doing it.But then when you train someone
to do it, it's like a longerterm support and a longer term
relief.

Eric (14:56):
Absolutely. Yeah. And that that one for me was, like, a big
stepping stone for for me on on,like, not worrying about
perfection getting away from theperfectionism, which was, like,
delegated. Like, a lot and it'sa lot has to do with, like, even
with with this. Like, I used toedit a lot all the podcasts.
Now I do virtually 0 of theediting because I have I've

(15:19):
delegated that to my wife and toto my editor now and such too.
And, you know, it

Crystal (15:27):
it it But that's kind of the glory of, like,
especially with Brian havingmultiple businesses as you
evolve, your perspectiveevolves. You you do have to
realize that you can't doeverything. If you have multiple
businesses, there might be somethings where you have to call
someone in, which is reallygreat with BNI because you can
you can have people support. Sospeak to that a little, Brian.

You know, You guys brought up like 10
different things. Yeah. I knowwe would. But it's No, no. I'm
just saying there's so manyconcepts there, but I think that
the I think it's natural And I'mgonna get I'm probably gonna
need you to remind me what yourmost recent question was, but
why are you perfect?
Why do you need to be perfect,right? And I think that The

(16:11):
thought that I understand, Ihave a long history in
healthcare, really, with mentalhealth. Not me, but being as a
CEO and as an owner and stufflike that. And so, that stuff's
real, but the You could I couldsit I know why. Like, I know my
story and I know why.

(16:32):
Why default? And I think for alot of people, their default is
a need for approval or forfailure, right? And I know why,
but I also think that time tolet go of why. Now what? And I
think that on a tactical basis,what are you doing beyond And I
think knowing why is importantbecause you have to have

(16:54):
accountability for it, right?
Whether it's someone else'sfault in my mind or it's my
fault, it's affecting my life.It's here and now. And if it's
affecting my life, it'saffecting others around me,
particularly those that Iprovide for in a money sense,
right? And so, what And I don'twanna belittle it, and that's
what I meant by mental health isthat I don't wanna belittle

(17:16):
mental health, but that's allfine and dandy. Why?
Now what? Now what are you gonnado? And it's in that question is
how you treat the idea ofperfectionism. It's called lift
a finger, lift the phone up,take an action. Yeah.
Right? That is literally theantithesis of perfection, right?
Because you can't get the Youcould say action trumps

(17:39):
perfectionism. Yeah. You couldsay progress is greater than
perfectionism.
It's really There is no progressif you don't pick the phone up,
if you don't take that risk and

Crystal (17:49):
You're paralyzed in it now.

Right. And so you know, okay, that's great. We
can And you come down to 2choices. And as you get older,
you start realizing that nobodyreally cares. And logistically,
right?
And it's like, of course I can Ihave very close family,
siblings, my parents stillalive, thankfully, etcetera? And
I can call them up and they'regonna give me a hug. They might

(18:11):
loan me a little bit of money, Imean, if I really need it. But
it's not They don't It's part oflife, right? Those are the
trials and tribulations of life.
You just have to start framingit towards things in, okay,
well, if I'm gonna Everybodysays I have to fail to succeed,
right? So this is one of yourfailures. I was told of that. I

(18:34):
lost pretty much all 99% of mywealth except the house and the
2 little boys in 2009 in thatrecession, right? Like put me
back.
I got lucky in my 30s. I don'twanna say I got lucky, but I got
lucky in my 30s, and then Ithought I was untouchable,
thought it would last forever,thought I could retire at 40
years old and lost it all by 40years old, right? So you had to

(18:56):
really kind of think why. Andtalking to those elders, they
said, Don't let it happen again.The way you're not letting it
happen again is to take action,right?
You have to start rebuildingthings. But before I get too
tangentialized, I think youwould At the end of the last
comment, I don't know if youremember it, you had mentioned
something about, The

Crystal (19:18):
thing maybe about like maybe societal norms and like
forcing you to feel like, is itis it our personal pressure or
is it society's pressure?

I agree. And it's and it it's funny because
it's right. Your perception isreality. Right? And people use
that comment, like, perceptionis reality and what the audience
is hearing, which is totallycorrect.
But I think in this context,you're absolutely right. I mean,
is it No one really cares at theend of the day whether you're
one way or not. That's what youfind in adulthood, and I love

(19:50):
that. And therefore, why shouldyou care? And I'm pretty devout
Catholic, and Jesus reallyhelped me figure that out in the
sense that default is thecomparison, is really, right?
They say, Don't compareyourself, right? Because I have
very close friends of fraternitybrothers that are a billionaire.

(20:10):
I have a fraternity brotherthat's a billionaire that is a
year younger than me. And you'relike, Woah, bro. Why you not me?
I thought I was And it's like,why are you comparing? Are they
around? Do they affect youreveryday life? And I think that,
so, I think that's, on atactical basis, don't compare,

(20:31):
Kinda lends itself to what youwere talking about.

Eric (20:33):
Well, I think there that that's an aspect that kinda goes
to, like, the the either, like,the the grass is greener on the
other side or, like, you mightbe comparing yourself to 1
person. Well, there also mightbe that you don't even realize
there might be 10 other peoplethat see you and compare
themselves to you. They're like,

man, why am I not why am

Eric (20:53):
I not like Brian? Like, you know, he's got, you know, a
fantastic family. Maybe theremight be or whatever it might
be. Right? It might who whoknows what they might be
comparing to?
And so if you're I think if ifif we all if we constantly
compare compare ourselves tosomebody else, that's it's gonna
be, it's gonna be kind ofdetrimental to your your mental

(21:16):
health, definitely, I think.

Crystal (21:18):
Yeah. Because we're only seeing part of the picture.
I mean, let let's talk aboutsociety and then the the
pressures that we have. I mean,look at social media. When we
look at someone, we're like,wow.
They have it all. They've goteverything. I used to look like
I had it all together, and I wasthe most miserable I had ever
been in my whole life. I wasdying inside, but you looked at

(21:40):
my picture, and I'm sure, likeEric said, I'm sure I had many
people going, oh, I wish I hadher life, but I couldn't really
tell them the the depths of thepain that I was in. And, so not
everything is at face valueeither, so you have to take that
into account too.
It's like, is my idea ofperfectionism so high that it's

(22:00):
actually not attainable? Ifthat's the case, then we might
need to shift our perspectiveand kinda reassess our goals.

Eric (22:08):
Yeah. And, you know, I think that one of the ways to
kind of, I think, also helpcombat this is, like like you
mentioned on the on the, like,the the phone call. I think you
mentioned,

Pick up

Eric (22:19):
the phone. Pick picking up the phone and such. Right? 1,
you you like, I think some aperfectionist might pick up the
phone

and go, man. I did I didn't

Eric (22:27):
do very good on that phone call. I might go, I I I
should've said this. I should'vesaid that x y z. When instead,
maybe what they should be going,hey. At least I made the call.
Yeah.

Crystal (22:36):
At

Eric (22:36):
least I at least I did the call. Maybe it went bad or maybe
it didn't go the way you wantedit to, but at least you made the
call.

Crystal (22:42):
It reminds me of your first time at BNI, how you were,
like, I was shaking. I didn'twanna talk. Like, when I did my
first commercial Yeah. Thinkabout that, like, using that as
a

Eric (22:53):
example. Petrified.

Crystal (22:54):
Yeah. You were petrified, and now look at you.
When we give up, like, you know,the the resilience that you've
created, the repetition of doingthat, now when you can get up
and give a confident commercial,and it's not something you
probably think about the sameway, but think about, like, that
that evolution of that processto go from being so nervous to

(23:16):
doing it so many times that nowit feels more natural. And I
think that kind of is whereperfectionism lies is finding
that sweet spot where it is whowe really are, but we're able to
let go the limiting belief so wecan actually enjoy it. Mhmm.
Because sometimes thatperfectionism, it's
debilitating. It puts stress andanxiety on ourselves, and we it

(23:37):
it is, like you said, it can bethe thief of joy. Because if
we're pushing all this pressureon ourselves, how are we gonna
shine?

Yeah. Right. And, you know, therein lies the
it's better just not to thinkabout it. If we talk about
substances or vices and stufflike that, it actually can
become a vice to say, well, it'snot a good time, or I need to do
this. And so, you go into yourcomfort zone as almost a vice.
It's avoidance, right? And so,you have to do that. And what I

(24:04):
like about BNI too is thatyou're forced to take action. So
when I said pick up the phone,it's more about, hey, do
something, take some action,Yeah. Like that's great.
Sure, you should prepare, right?But it's more important if I
have to do certain follow-upwith clients, right? I'm

(24:25):
thinking about not saying thewords follow-up, okay, because
that's a tactic. But also,there's a schedule of my day
where I'm making phone calls andit's planned. That's fine.
But I still, oh my gosh, I getbad news right before that part
of my day happens. And you'relike, Oh, that's tough. How do I
wipe that off? And it's like,Well, maybe I shouldn't do this

(24:48):
and maybe I gotta address that.And you're like, Hey, no, no,
no, no.
You need to pick up the phoneand start making these phone
calls and communicate, and youneed to find a reason why. So I
think that that's why takingaction is so important. And
along those lines, you need tothink about, what is your day?
What are you doing to be in thegame of that, right? And I think

(25:10):
I was speaking to you earlier ormaybe doing our one on ones is
that this working from homestuff is great, but you're just
alone.
I mean, especially, and maybe inmy business at least, I'm alone
and it's great. And you know, Idon't wanna be alone. And you
get too much in yourself andyou're like, okay, I gotta get
out. I need to go out and likedo something because I'm gonna

(25:31):
get because naturally bydefault, you're going. So to
battle that, it's important, atleast it was for me, to
structure my day in a consistentway that relates to, hey, taking
action.
Hey, I think all of us can saythat daily. We're like, Ugh. You
know, like there's somethingthat's scary, right? And and so

(25:53):
the question is, what are youdoing about it? Because I can
keep putting it off, but it'snot gonna get better.
Right? Yeah. I have

Crystal (25:58):
a question for you. Mhmm. What's a synonym for you
to the word follow-up? What'sanother way to say that for you?
Because here's what I heard.
Alright? I heard you say, I'mnot gonna say follow-up. I'm
gonna tell myself, don't sayfollow-up. Don't think of a
purple elephant. What justhappened there?

Right.

Crystal (26:20):
So you told yourself not to think of something, and
then it came right to your head.So if you're saying don't think
of a follow-up, then you'reactually kind of planting that
seed in your brain. So a betterway to do that would be so for
you, what's the what's another

thing that I wanna know about? Sentences is
that, hey, you know, hi,Crystal. This is Brian. I know
that you had contacted me aboutyour business. I've had a lot of
things going on, so I'm comingback up for air now.
Wanted to get back to you.Another one is, Hey, Crystal.
You know, we had spoken aboutyour business. Where do we go

(26:56):
from here? I don't wanna say theword follow-up.
I want them to try to draw them.

Eric (27:02):
Is that a banned word? Is that a bad thing?

Well, it's not that. It's just that I want to
develop

Eric (27:07):
I think I've said

that word before. I wanna be exclusive.
And if I say it, I put it onyour time. Yeah. Hey.
I'm here to follow-up. You'relike, oh, you're trying to sell
me something. You know, insteadof, hey. We talked about this,
you know, and and and I'm I'mavailable now. That's what I'm
trying to say.

Eric (27:22):
Like, like, hey. Just just touching base again. I I said I
think I've I've I've said that.I think I have said follow-up
before too. I don't know.
That word for me hasn't botheredme if if somebody somebody says
that. Sometimes I appreciate itbecause I'm like, I in my head,
I know I need I'm looking towork with somebody, but I just
haven't I haven't reached out tothem. And then they reach out to

(27:43):
me and say, hey. Just followingup on this. And I don't know.
For me, that hasn't that thosewords haven't bothered me.

Crystal (27:49):
But that's exactly the point. So Yeah. As if it does is
something that he didn't want tothink, then he could say just
instead of saying don't sayfollow-up, say do say reach out.

Sure.

Crystal (28:01):
So it's just a just a little mental shift because the
subconscious doesn't recognizewords like don't, can't, know,
or won't. Sure.

So

Crystal (28:09):
if you're telling yourself, don't do this, your
subconscious doesn't read thatword.

Mhmm.

Crystal (28:14):
So you're telling yourself essentially to say
follow-up. Right. So it's just alittle tiny, like, mental Yeah.
Shift.

You know, I have to write often, because you're
defaulting to the word follow-upbecause that's what you're
doing, reaching out, update me.But I have to think on a
tactical basis how the wordscome out in a sales environment,
and that's And I'm writing themdown. And sometimes literally on
a Post it, I will write thembefore I'll make follow-up

(28:44):
calls. I'll write them down andjust to remind myself of the
kind of message I wanna leave.Exactly.
Literally. And I'll write outthe message on a Google Doc and
leave that exact message if theydon't answer or if I talk to
them. Because there are There'sa whole world of sales
discussion, words to use, andthey never want you to use
follow-up, right? So those arethe 2 that come to mind. And

(29:04):
it's to build One more thing.
It's to build the exclusivitythat they need you, that you're
not trying to sell themsomething that you're calling
because you can providesomething to them based on their
perception that why did theycontact you to begin with?
Because they wanna Not becauseyou wanted to sell them
something, But if I sayfollow-up, then they think I'm

(29:25):
selling you something. I'm justlike every other salesperson.

Eric (29:26):
It might depend on the relationship that you already
have have with the person too.If it's, like, kind of a cold
relationship, then maybe thenmaybe, yeah, maybe it's maybe
that's that's not the rightword. I I've gotten away from
kind of using that word actuallyjust to kind of realized because
I do a lot of, like, acronyms,for first stuff when I need to
do so. Yeah.

That's great. The first language. Yeah.

Eric (29:45):
So I yeah. I go it says f u, and I'm like, wait a minute.
This is too negative. I don'tlike this at all. So I like I've
kinda gotten away from thatbecause the acronyms just just
is it it lessens

the greater memory and activity on it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Eric (30:00):
And, it is kind of, so I've gone away. I've I've tried

Crystal (30:04):
to get the rhythm from that. Spin on it.

Eric (30:05):
Yeah. I didn't I so I've got away from that.

You know, Crystal, were you talking more
in the moment? You know, becauseyou get stressful moments.
Right? Because people say youcan do all these things to de
stress and it's like you have tomeditate for a week and you
gotta do all these things.Right?
And a lot of people do that, butthat doesn't help the momentary
stress. That doesn't help themomentary doubt. Was that more
kinda what you were talkingabout? Like, right before you

(30:27):
make the call, not to negativeprogram?

Crystal (30:29):
Exactly.

Okay.

Crystal (30:30):
It was and you essentially kind of answered the
own question that said that youwere already doing it. So it's
Yeah. It's to remind ourself toput in the positive of what we
want instead of to think of whatwe don't want to say. If we
think of what we don't want tosay, you're gonna accidentally
end up

saying it.

Crystal (30:49):
Yeah. So but if but if you have a list, like you said,
of these are the points that Iwanna hit on, you're gonna be so
much more prepared, and you'regonna end up articulating what
you wanted to say instead ofdon't think of the purple
elephant. The purple elephantwill come up.

Right. Right. Right. Mhmm.

Eric (31:04):
Well, I think too, like, you know, it's kind of like a
lighter a little bit lighterversion of, you know, I think we
all kind of know some peoplethat are, like, that are kind
of, like, negative all all thetime. Yeah. And, like, whether
it's complaining about somethingin their life, something in
their work, or whatever it mightbe. And, you know, that person's
the the the their life alwaysseems like it's in shambles, but

(31:26):
they're always also kind ofcomplaining or talking about
whatever whatever their theircomplaint is versus rather
seeing, like like the silverlining on things. And I think do
when when people do that, you'reyou're you're manifesting that.
You're essentially kind of like,you start kind of causing more

Crystal (31:49):
problems. Causes more and more and more, and I will
actually admit that I used to bethat person.

Mhmm.

Crystal (31:56):
I used to have a lot of things that I would immediately
deflect to them, like worst casescenario or the negative or, I I
used to attract more trauma andmore things than I would be
like, woah. Why is thishappening to me? My house is
being struck by lightning, and,like, weird things would happen
to me. And when you can breakfree of that negative

(32:18):
manifestation loop is reallywhen this the awareness is what
starts. And and what Brian saysis the awareness of knowing that
perfectionism might not beattainable.
So okay. So what does that mean?Maybe we need to, like, reassess
what we're really like, ourgoals are. Maybe our goal isn't
actually to be perfect. Maybeour goal is that we wanna make a

(32:40):
certain amount of money or thatwe want to invest in a
relationship so that we can be20 years down the road and and
still have a relationship thatwe we care about, but then
you're just looking at thebillionaire saying, oh, he's got
this, but I can guarantee youmore money just means different
problems.

Sure. It

Crystal (32:57):
doesn't mean that you

The song. Yeah. For all

Eric (33:01):
you know, that billionaire is going like, man, so jealous.

I wish

Crystal (33:04):
you was like, how

Eric (33:05):
do you want your marriage?

All I wish was yeah.

Eric (33:07):
Or or or they're going, or or

they're going, man. All I wish was I wish I was
on par

Eric (33:12):
with, like, Elon Musk or something, you know, and they're
like looking at him with a$300,000,000 net worth or
whatever.

There's not a lot of, I was able to have
Easter with my parents. I mean,Easter, Thanksgiving, sorry,
wrong, wrong season. But I, youknow, the other thing too is I
have several fraternitybrothers, several friends in Los
Angeles and family, and, very Ican count on one hand out of 80
to a 100 people, of people thathave a wife and children. And

(33:41):
they just don't have what wecall the nuclear family, right?
It's just not prevalent.
And the billionaire friend thatI have, he doesn't. You know?
And, you know, as you get older,you realize, you know, you can't
take all the money with you.Sure, it makes things easier.
But, you know, at the end of theday, what really makes you
happy, like you said, it's justbigger problems, a bigger form

(34:01):
of perfectionism, what have you.
But gosh, I really would have Ido have what's good for me is
the treasured, is the familypart of it because that's what
it kind of becomes. Right?Because the money seems to just
come and go. Mhmm. You know,it's more about my peace of mind
and how do I view my wealth,Which is through health and
family, right?
So the other thing too you'retalking about We're talking

(34:24):
about the scales I wanna addressreal quick is the scales of
perfectionism, right? Theeconomies of scale of it. And we
talk about the identificationand why it happened, but also to
identify it and how to treat itwhen it happens, right? And
stuff like that. You can dopreventative maintenance things,
but those don't always work.
So there's even spot things thatI have to do. I have to look at

(34:48):
a bank account. You know, I haveto What am I gonna do, right?
You've been avoiding somethingout of a 1000000 things. You're
like that one thing.
You know you're avoiding it, andI still need to not avoid it,
right? I have to look ateverything, right? You really
have because you can't solveeverything. So I think it's
important. And where I'm goingwith it was the forms of

(35:09):
identifying it, right?
It would be like not looking atyour bank account or continuous
organization or cleaning, orcharting, or, okay, I mean, pick
up the phone. I mean, open Login. You have to get there. You
know what I mean? And it'sinteresting.
And so, I probably talk like,What are you talking about?

(35:31):
Well, I mean, I think as anentrepreneur, you're always kind
of You're trying to run cashthen on purpose, right? And
equity rich and credit high. Alot of credit utilization,
right? We're trying to That'show you live, right?
And that, I think So that'swhere it's coming from. You know
what I mean? Because it's aconstant situation. It may not

(35:53):
have as many zeros, but I thinkthat when you're an entrepreneur
versus an employee, it'sdifferent. Because employee has
the stability and has a certainstructure, right?
Where an entrepreneur, likelet's bet it all. Should I take
half the equity in my house,invest in this.

Crystal (36:11):
And run on that.

And go for it. And then if it doesn't work,
then I might have the house. Imight have to get a job. No
one's gonna hire me. I'm tooold.
But there's so many things likethat. So, anyways, I thought
that

Eric (36:25):
Well, what's interesting about that too is when you're
when you're an entrepreneur,you're taking ownership over
everything that you're doing.And one thing I've kinda noticed
is when when you are trying to,like, do things for your for
your for your own businessRight. You you definitely the

(36:49):
the perfectionism level tends togo much much higher with it, and
it becomes way harder toactually act on on on, on
whatever the task, might mightbe. I was talking to, Andrew
Loewen, and he was, you know,he's a master marketer, and his
hardest thing that he's had todo any kind of marketing. And

(37:11):
he, like, gets he was telling mehe's he gets, like, his mind
goes goes blank on mark ourmarketing deliverance, his game,
and and which is you know?
And it's because he's I thinkbecause he's he's he's partial
to it. Yeah.

He's too close to it.

Eric (37:29):
Exactly. And so I, you know, I think there's an aspect
too of of of positioning, and Iactually I've I've talked to my,
podcast editor, who's amazing,Melissa, and she, she's told me
me before that, like, doing herown thing, she's like, I'm like,

(37:50):
no. Like, I can't I'm nervousabout doing this or whatever.
And then, like but then doingstuff stuff for us, so she's
like, oh, yeah. I can do thatall day.
I'm like, I'm nervous aboutdoing that. You're okay with
doing that? And, like, it'sbecause it's it's it's, like,
more personal to me, I think,because it's, you know, my my my
business. It's it's on me if ifit, you know, floats or sinks or

(38:12):
whatever. Right?
And, so I think there's athere's an important aspect too
that kind of I think one aspectI think help fight this perfect
the perfectionism is to positionpeople that are in your in your
your circle to kind of help youfill where where where areas you
might struggle in.

Yeah. Mhmm.

Eric (38:34):
I'm I I you know, you mentioned about you work from
home alone. I I I don't reallywork from home alone because I
work work with Amber. I workwith with with my wife. So I'm
not I'm not we can kinda keepeach other accountable, and I
think that is it's I'm verygrateful to kinda have that
accountability partner, becauseit is kinda it can be very hard

(38:57):
to work from from home becauseit's like, you know, you wanna
you know,

sometimes it's like, I I just wanna watch a
movie or something like that. Igotcha. You you sometimes it's
like, I just wanna watch a movieor something like that. No. I
gotcha.
You know, you brought somethingup, and maybe I don't am I
interrupting you, Crystal, oryou're good? Is that your you
know, the I've owned 6businesses. There's been 4
winners and 2 losers, and not inthat order. And I think I have
one right now that's a winner.But one of them, when I moved, I

(39:23):
should say about 5, 6 years ago,I acquired this HOA Management
Company, and I was able to turnaround and sell to private
equity in 2022, right?
And in my 1st couple of years,it was tough. And I set a lot of
really high standards and I hadowned or part owner of a huge
automotive group in LA, youknow, 300 employees, 6

(39:45):
locations, new car dealers,stuff like that. And I had all
these, you know, I had 26managers that worked for me, you
know, at 6, you know, the wholething, like these gigantic
parties and conference rooms andthe whole thing. And you're
trying to apply that tosomething small. And I was like,
I'm not having a good time.
Like I was able to redo theirrecord keeping. I was brought in

(40:07):
some software. I redid theimage. I fired some of the cheap
clients. I got some betterclients.
And then I was like trying toattract talent and it wasn't
really working. And I met someother owners. And, one lady that
was an owner of Arrival 1, whichwe're all friends, it just said,
you know, Brian, what I got tobe friends with her and she
goes, You know, They're tryingto Like, they're not hiring you.

(40:31):
I'm like, But it has to be likedoing it Like, why can't it? But
you're trying to go to some Youneed the talent to get to HOAs
and you don't wanna get talent.
But the reality is like, youknow, lower your standards a
little bit. Like your people cannever meet that standards and,
you know, where's that comefrom? And it's like, they're not
And then she knew. She goes,They're not hiring you, Brian.

(40:51):
They're hiring a service.
So if I had to change a manager,that's a big deal of an HOA,
right? Because there's a boardand it's, oh my gosh. And that
manager that worked here knewall this information and it's
like a big deal, right? And it'slike, well, no, it's not that
big of a deal, because it's abig deal for the board of

(41:12):
directors for a minute. But aslong as you put someone in there
and give them the information,it's fine.
But why is it a big deal to you,Brian? Like, why is it a big
deal to you? Because Or if youget fired, you know, by an HOA,
why is it a big deal to you?Like, so it had all these
different forms and the core ofit was what this lady I still
know her, she's great. She goes,They're not hiring you.

(41:34):
They don't need Brian 5.0 HOAManager Owner or whatever you
call yourself, right? They justneed an HOA manager. They just
need a service, right? If youdidn't answer the phone, if
someone You get someone toanswer the phone, they don't
have to talk to the owner,they're gonna not hire you
anyway. They might keep youanyway, right?
You have to trust it. So alongthe lines of what you were
talking about, I find myselfrunning into some new things

(41:57):
even now and saying, I gotta puta certain standard on it. You
don't. And those are things,having the joy or the curse of
being in different Tryingdifferent businesses or
different investments. I have toremind myself that like, hey,
it's not Doesn't have to beperfect.
You're not Elon Musk. It's notthis great idea. You know, what

(42:17):
is your true goal? You startasking yourself, then why are
you putting this perfectionismon there? You know, my true goal
is really to get to a number ofnet net worth and maybe to stop,
you know, and that's it.
You know what I mean? And gosurfing and and traveling and
stuff like that. I mean, that'skind of my goal, right? I don't
know if I could do that andread, play music. And I mean,

(42:38):
I'd like to do stuff like that,but it's not to be And so it
kind of transformed because whenI said I got lucky in my 30s, I
was doing commercials.
I was the face of it. I was, youknow, stuff like that, you know,
doing car commercial stuff likethat. So it was great, you know,
but that's not what my goals arenow. And

Eric (42:57):
Now I don't wanna search on YouTube for some time.

New pre YouTube. I mean,

Eric (43:04):
early 2000s. I wanna see what baby Brian looks like.

Well, you kinda get it though. It's not and
that's when you said that, it'snot my standard. It's a
business. I go into the businessfor a certain goal and it has
nothing to do with them likingBrian. It has nothing to do with
leaving my mark or my initialson it.
It's on me because I chose to bein it, but it's not about what

(43:28):
other people think of thebusiness. They're not thinking
of me. And I had them reallymake that distinction. It's not
a judgment on Brian. Okay?
And so you don't need to putyourself out there. You don't
need to perform at 5.0 level,Right? You just need to make
sure that other people perform.So it really kinda delves into
all these other things, but Ithought, you know, when you when

(43:49):
you were talking, you brought itup, and I wanted to speak to it.

Eric (43:51):
So Well, that's an interesting kind of point you
mentioned. And so I've kindalike, because I think, there is
a lot a lot of times people, I Ithink, do hire people for the
person because they like Therelationship. They trust

Crystal (44:09):
you know, like, and trust

Eric (44:11):
them. Right. And but there might be certain industries,
though, that that that that'slike, you know, and and an HOA
is almost you know, it's like ait's like a micro government,
basically. Right? And so it'slike then it might be a matter
of, like, we don't care.
We just need to get done at thecheapest possible thing. I would
I would imagine that's probablythe mindset maybe in in there,

(44:33):
but I think there is there issome, there is a lot of value
in, like, the the theoftentimes, anyways, the person
the person, like, that is behindit, but at the same time, you
know, what do you think thebalance of that that might be
where it's like hiring theperson for and and having the
person behind me? That's that'swhy certain it's funny because,

(44:54):
who is it, who's the top who'sthe who's the, marketer that oh,
what is his name? I'm blankingon his name. His top marketer,
did click Funnels, that guy.
What's his name, that thatstarted Click Funnels? I'm
totally blanking on. I'mblanking on

his name. His name, but I've taken the course.

Eric (45:12):
Yeah. You know who I'm talking about. I wanna say his
name.

A profound well, something he said has profound
an effect on

Eric (45:18):
me too. Interesting is is, like, he you know, because he's
kind of built this his hispeople wanna hire him as as
personal coaches, and he said, II've I've heard he, you know,
will charge, like, $150,000 for,like, 2 hours of We're

talking about Dean Kraziosci?

Eric (45:36):
No. Oh, okay. It's not name it's not it's not Dean. I'm
this is so funny. We're gonnahave to maybe I can include it
in.
So name will name will be in thedescription of this on who

Right. Right. No worries. We're talking about.
The OG guy.
The OG ClickFunnel guy. I can'tthink of his name either.

Eric (45:55):
Tongue right now. That's so funny. And but, like, with
with that, you know, people hirehim because they they they trust
what he has to say. Even thoughI I would imagine most of the
time, he's given this this thethe same advice as most other
marketers probably would, butthose other guys could be doing
it at a fraction fraction of theprice point. Right?

Crystal (46:16):
But do they trust them?

Eric (46:18):
Exactly. Yeah. It's like a I think it is. So I guess it
kinda it boils under, like, thethe trust aspect.

Well, and

Crystal (46:23):
I love what Brian said about the scale because I think
that's true of, like, the scaleof how much we're putting on the
pressure of of thatperfectionism. And it almost,
like, makes me think, like,leaning into the scales. Like,
okay. Well, what's on one end ofeach of the scale? Well, you
guys both kind of hit what Iwhen you guys said, I'm like,

(46:43):
oh, that's that is reallyinteresting.
So I when you said, like,accountability, I'm all about,
like, radical accountability. Ithink that's what got me out of
that that state where I used tobe more negative. So I think on
the other end of that accountradical accountability is that
victimhood. And where do you layin that, like, in that

(47:05):
precipice? It's like, are youleaning towards operating more
out of radical accountabilitywhere you're taking the control
and you're like, okay.
I'm doing this all myself. Thisis my pressure. I'm gonna
achieve all of these goals. I'mgonna have this certain dollar
amount. I mean, that is there'ssome value in that, but there's
also you can see the people likeyou talked about before.
Like, the victimhoods, thoseones that are making excuses

(47:27):
repeatedly. They aren't able topick up the phone. They aren't
able to take that one step. Soit's like, essentially, what is
it that's causing that, like,disruption from from either
being full on negative person intheir victimhood to full on
radically accountable successfulperson. It it is a scale, and I

(47:48):
don't feel like maybe and theremight be times in our life, like
you said, Brian, where maybeyou're on different ends of that
scale.

Mhmm. What

Crystal (47:55):
do you think of that?

Well, yeah. I mean, I get it. I think that
the, you know, trying to when Iwhen I talk to elders or
advisers and stuff, you know,it's more of like, you know,
they look at me, and, yeah,you're smart, and you're you
know, I never thought of it thatway, Brian. Like, man, and then
another guy goes, a lady goes,you know, quit thinking about

(48:18):
all that, man. Is it like, areyou saying that you don't wanna
take that interest only loan,that high risk loan and take the
risk?
Well, then don't and move on tothe next. It's interesting, and
I don't mean to belittle it, butthe people that are successful
that I'm talking to, they'rekinda like, Okay, God, if you

(48:38):
spend half your time reallygoing through the math of
things, then that you do kind ofthinking about what could go
wrong, you would be way ahead.And an example, one time my
father bought this house and hebought it with an interest only
loan. And it's a nice house inLong Beach, right? And I'm like,

(49:01):
What are you doing with aninterest only loan?
That's like your residence. Likethat's the sacred place, you
know? Like And he goes, Trustme, right? I mean, it's worth 5
times what it was. You probablybought it 20 years ago, worth 5
times what it was, right?
He's more laughing at it. That'sreally a reflection of what he's
talking about. I don't need theequity. The equity's gonna come

(49:23):
through the appreciation, Right?Because I'm gonna hold it and I
wanna make cheaper payments oninterest only.
It's gonna I mean, you know,okay. So I can sit here and
think, Okay. Well, gosh, if it'smy house, it's supposed to be
residence. I've always beentaught that I need to hold that
sacred and don't miss a nest eggbecause I can get a reverse
mortgage or I can or I can, youknow, sell it and humble down

(49:44):
and use that money without beingtaxed too much. You know, the
whole the whole thing.
Right? It's more kind of thejourney, but people don't
necessarily think that way. Andwhy am I stuck into that? I
don't wanna say stuck because Idon't want it to be
condescending. Why am I If I'min that mind frame and that
structure, which is fine, go geta job then, you know?

(50:06):
And that's okay. You can have ajob. You can be fine. You can
structure

Crystal (50:11):
Not everyone's meant to be an entrepreneur.

Right. And so, you have to battle with
yourself. And it's like, well,maybe I don't wanna be. So when
I told you about the career ofkind of going in and out of
being a C suite executive or anentrepreneur or an owner or
failing at things, it's that.You know what I mean?
Sometimes you have to, sometimesyou're like, well, maybe that's
a better fit for me. And I'd belying to you if I didn't tell

(50:32):
you that's now. I mean, it'sit's also now because you're
like, well, this kind of works.Should I have sold the HOA
management company? Should Ihave bought this business broker
franchise?
Should I have just tried to pushmy law office? Should I have
tried to push my real estatebrokerage? You know, what are
the choices that you made?Right? Should I have not sold my
Bitcoin, you know Mhmm.
A a couple of years last year? Imean, there's so many, like

(50:55):
right. You know? So the it it itI don't know. I don't wanna go
into it, but I think that'sreflective of what I'm saying
now.
Yeah. That makes sense? Mhmm.What I'm saying?

Eric (51:03):
So Yeah. So I think one of the ways to kind of, like,
combat all this as well too,like, all the the the things,
like, maybe I, you know, couldhave done better, I should have,
could have, would have, what orwhatever, is is is, like,
writing down kind of like, okay.What are, like, what are the
things that, like, that are aregood in my life, positive in my

(51:27):
life, or that I've done right?Mhmm. Writing, like, writing
those those things down becauseI don't know.
We we we we tend to kinda wannafocus on the the negative
things. That's why there's somuch just negativity in the
world, but, like and thennegativity is gonna attract more
negativity.

Mhmm.

Eric (51:45):
And so I think writing down, like

Crystal (51:49):
What you're grateful for.

Eric (51:50):
What thing yeah. Things that things that that that
you're grateful for, like,

How far you've come. Yeah.

Eric (51:56):
How far yeah. How far you've actually Rather

than what you've accomplished. Yeah. How far
you've come.

Eric (52:01):
Exactly.

Well, I do those things. I do those things every
day. Yeah. Right? You know howfar you've come.
Yeah. I think that, I wanna saythis one thing too, is that, you
know, what can you do? And thething I want to emphasize, it's
so simple in some ways. And hesaid, look, pick up the phone,

(52:23):
lift a finger, log in, find outwhat your position is, find out
how to solve it. You have to dosomething, right?
So you have to like, you canthink it out, you can get
motivated, you can schedule itout. You can tell yourself why
all day, but just pick up theglass, you know, and you'd be

(52:43):
interesting how fast things canhappen. And when you think about
what I was saying from thoseelders, that's what they're
saying. Like, get out of yourhead, bud, and pick up the glass
because it'll work itself out.And then you get this other one
that's layered on top of it.
How else are you supposed to getthere if you don't pick up the
glass? Because you can't fail ifyou don't try.

Eric (53:04):
Mhmm.

Right? You only miss the shots you don't take.
Right? Yeah. So

Eric (53:07):
Yep. Anyway Yeah. I I think kinda kinda goes back to
that. I'm sure we've all kind ofheard this, the the this quote
before that though the word, theworst action you can take is no
action. Right?
Mhmm. And so because, I mean,essentially, if you take no
action, like, you're gonnaeffectively stay where you're

(53:29):
currently at. And so unlessyou're, like, actually truly
happy with right where you'recurrently at, then then do then
if your action is no action,then nothing's going to

Crystal (53:41):
When a lot of times people don't realize both are a
little uncomfortable. Growth isuncomfortable, and staying stuck
is uncomfortable. But which oneof those two options are you
gonna choose? Right.

Eric (53:52):
Right. That's true. True. Yeah. You're gonna make
uncomfortable

for that one. Yeah.

Eric (53:55):
They both kind of are. We're kind of like naturally
averse to just change, even ifthat change is actually
positive. Mhmm. I, and and, youknow, I don't really know
exactly why that is, but I'veeven I I know I've gotten senses
on that where I'm kind of, like,been, you know, had, like, some
kind of mental block on, like,okay. You know, I I I know I

(54:16):
should do this, but I'm like,oh, but do I wanna do this?
Do I wanna do that or what? And

Or should I?

Eric (54:21):
Or should I do that? Right?

Gonna work? Is it gonna work?

Eric (54:26):
Yeah. Exactly. Is it gonna work, or I'm just gonna waste my
time? You start making kind of,like, excuses even though, like,
deep down, I think you probablyknow, like, no. I I I know I
should do that.

Crystal (54:34):
But that's where I love. That's where it's like,
no. I am in it. And then whenyou take that decision and then
that like you said, that energywhen you make that decision and
you take the action, then youcan start to see it lining up in
your favor.

Take an action to commit yourself Mhmm. To that
decision. Right?

Eric (54:50):
Yeah. Right. And and and I think, you know, maybe it isn't
the maybe you you might discoverthat maybe it is the wrong
direction. But, again, there'sstill value even in that because
now you learned that that is theright

Crystal (55:03):
direction. Yeah.

Eric (55:04):
Right. And where if you didn't take that action, you
wouldn't have even discoveredthat. You'd still be back at
square 1. You know? So thethere's in whatever action you
take, you know, I I I whetherit's to kind of start that
business or, you know, in thecontext of this, maybe it's to,
like, join a BNI shaft orwhatever.
What are you know? Because Ithink that's a stepping stone

(55:26):
where a lot of people should dothat

Crystal (55:27):
and maybe don't. Solopreneurs that are feeling
like Brian, a little while.

Eric (55:31):
In me and I chapters, all we see is the people who who did
take that that that step anddecided to join.

Well put well put, think of it think of this
once. I've come over this in thelast few years is that the,
think of every great artist orbusiness person, right? They all
have one thing in common. Theyall had to take that risk. They
had to step off the ledge at onepoint.
Like, it's like an entry fee.Mhmm. It's like an admission

(55:59):
ticket. You know, Get 2 B Idon't know if you've heard of
ZShops. That was Bezos' firstfailed Oh.
Website for Amazon. ZShops.Yeah.com.

Eric (56:08):
He's focused on the Z, I see, Amazon.

Zshops. Zshops, yeah. I mean, everybody has that
story. If you heard aboutSylvester Stallone and his
story, you know, there's somegreat stories, but that's the
common denominator. So whenyou're trying to juice yourself
up, you know, to bet the farm.

Eric (56:24):
Yeah. So Lester Salone has has a crazy he has a crazy

Crazy story.

Crystal (56:28):
Yeah. So what would you recommend to the audience? I
know you have really greatmorning routines. I know you
have really great practices. Imean, as a mindset coach, I've
heard you say some things.
What would you tell the audiencewould be something that they
could do to break out of theperfectionism or that could like
a tip or a tool or a resourcethat you

would recommend? Well, I think on a I think
perfectionism is to recognize itas a comfort zone device as a
way to avoid things. Right?Because there's never perfect
time for anything. And you cansay never confidently in that.
I think that's number 1. Number2, then it becomes more about,

(57:12):
identifying when you'restressed, you usually go towards
a perfectionist type actions,whether it's organization or
it's avoidance, which is, Hey,it's not a good time for this. I
need to be here and then I'll dothis, right? It's really the
opposite. So I would say, yeah,I think things like cold

(57:32):
plunging, I think thatmeditation, I think that prayer,
and I think that exercise aregood ways to set the day
straight and to reflect.
But I also think that in I thinkthere's another tactic that I
use too is the double breath. IfI have a moment of stress,

(57:53):
right, maybe you know what thedouble breath is. Right? So what
happens?

Eric (57:57):
The double breath. Got it.

Well, so just simple. If you have a moment of
stress, because it's not solike, you know, long term, it's
like I get stressed in a second.How do I get unstressed in that
second? That's how with a doublebreath. Yeah.
And then most importantly, sitdown and whatever is that
stress, whatever that you'retrying to avoid or whatever
you're trying to do, just startdoing it. Like just start doing

(58:22):
things to move yourself forwardbecause start focusing on that,
get out of your own head. So Iwould say take action, right,
and forget the analysis, right?Because we know where the
analysis is going. It's goingtowards perfectionism, right?
Take the action, fail a littlebit, right? If there's a lot of

(58:44):
zeros, do some prep, do someresearch, but then take the
action. It's a yes or no. You'reeither gonna do it or you don't,
and then move on if you don't doit. So I would say take action
and quit dwelling on why couldwhat could go wrong.
Mhmm. So does that is that kindasimple? Yeah.

Eric (59:00):
I haven't Fantastic. Yeah. I think that's phenomenal
phenomenal, advice. And I think,you know, like, I think there's
a certain level of, you know,expecting that not everything to
be kind of perfect when youkinda take that step as well too
and kinda being, you know, alittle bit mentally prepared.
Because if you're not, thensomething bad happens, and
you're like, well, that wasn'twhat I expected.
Right?

Crystal (59:20):
Expectations that are realistic for yourself.

Eric (59:23):
Yeah. Yep. Okay. Well, this has been great, Brian. I
love this conversation.
Do so if somebody wanted to getin contact with you, how would
they best do that?

They would call me on my cell phone Mhmm. And I
can give that number or theycould email me. Mhmm. And, do
you want me to state?Absolutely.
Yeah. So my cell phone is619-777-6884. It's a Google
number. Yes, I had a choice ofdifferent numbers, and I chose
that one because I like the 777,right? And then my email is

(01:00:00):
bgasingirl.
My name is not boygirl, it'sBrian Gonzalez, right? So that's
bgvardadfirm.com. And that's vas in Victor,
erdandthewordfirm.com. And Iwanna leave you with this, is
that Verdad in Spanish meanstruth. And so when I woke up

(01:00:24):
after selling that HOA company,I had decided, what am I gonna
get into?
Because even when I was counselor CEO of things, I'm in an
adversarial You just have to sayno a lot. I'm just adversarial
and I just hate it. Like Ibecame a transactional lawyer

(01:00:44):
because I just I'm about peaceand love. I'm about settlement.
I'm about common ground, winwin, stuff like that.
I just didn't like beingadversarial. I'm a great
competitor. I'm an athlete, thewhole thing, but I just didn't
like that in an adult sense. Andso that's one of the reasons why
I chose that name. And that namereflects a company or a version

(01:01:07):
of my company that providesbusiness consulting and provides
legal Business legal services,right?
Because I wanted to do things inmy life at that time where I
have a 360 degree focus onthings that are true, that have
truth, right? And so I felt likeI was missing a piece work wise

(01:01:28):
a little bit, haggling with HOAor haggling with real estate or
whatever. And I just didn'twanna have any of it. I just
wanna be. And it sounds good,and I haven't reached that
Shangri La, but that's where theverdaki firm comes from.
So Oh, cool. So trying to getdrunk. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.
Cool. But thanks thanks so muchfor having me.

Eric (01:01:46):
Yeah. Appreciate it. So, if you enjoyed this episode and
maybe you know somebody, who whothat you know is a
perfectionist, they're they'restruggling with their through
stuff or they're through throughbusiness. They gotta have
everything be perfect. Thiswould be a phenomenal episode to

(01:02:06):
share with them, because thiswill hopefully help them
overcome that.
You know, perfectionism, Ithink, is a natural thing that
we kinda tend to tend to comeacross, but this would be a good
episode to share with them tohelp them overcome that. And
with that, thanks so much forlistening, and we'll see you in

(01:02:28):
the next episode.

Crystal (01:02:29):
Yep. See you then. And don't forget to log your single
CEU. Thank you for joining usfor the Business Boost Hour. My
name is Crystal Pravette, andthis is Eric Fields.
Thank you for joining us, anddon't forget to document your
single CEU. See you next time.

Bryan Gonzales (01:02:44):
See you

Eric (01:02:44):
in the next episode.

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