19. Discipline: The Key to Overcoming Self-Sabotage with Dan Whaley

Episode Transcript
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Crystal (00:08):
Do you feel like everything around you is
crumbling? Maybe you're sayingwords like, I don't have time
for that or I can't do that. Inthis episode, we meet with Dan
Whaley to talk about theimportance of discipline and
overcoming self sabotage.

Dan Whaley (00:28):
The green check mark in your phone, it's like,
there's really no satisfactionin that.

Crystal (00:33):
Yep. No. Unless you gamify your to do list. Yeah.

Dan Whaley (00:36):
The same thing with, like, the same thing with, like,
journals. You know, like, whenI'm journaling, writing it in a
in pen and paper. Yeah. Call mea

Crystal (00:45):
mental toll. Yeah. Yeah. Love it.

Eric (00:47):
Okay. So today so we're talking about discipline and
self sabotage with hints of selfself sabotage in it. Yeah.

Dan Whaley (00:54):
Positive attitudes.

Eric (00:55):
Positive attitudes. Alright.

Dan Whaley (00:57):
Recognition. I'm just actually gonna finish
through your business.

Eric (01:00):
Yep. Yep. Alright. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the
Business Boost Hour podcast.
My name is Eric Beals, and I'mthe vice president of BNI
Escondido.

Crystal (01:11):
And my name is Crystal Prevette. I am the president of
BNI Escondido. And today, wehave Dan Whaley. Welcome, Dan.
Thanks for joining us.

Dan Whaley (01:19):
Hi, Dan. Yeah. Thanks for thanks for having me.
This is, it's been a long timecoming.

Eric (01:24):
Alright. So, Dan, Dan is our fitness coach in our b and I
chapter. And so, Dan, could youkind of introduce yourself,
briefly and kind of, like, justexplain kind of what exactly
that that that you do? Just tellpeople who who, who you are.

Dan Whaley (01:39):
Yeah. Of course. Yeah. So my name is Dan, Dan
Whaley. I'm a fitness coach.
I've been doing this for abouttwo and a half years now. And
and just kind of my journey tothis point was, you know, as a
child, I grew up obese. I grewup, almost two hundred and
seventy five pounds as a 15 yearold kid, and and, I knew that
that wasn't the life that Ireally wanted to live. So I had

(02:01):
lost a 20 pounds, packed on 20pounds of muscle, and, you know,
kind of, I felt great at thatpoint. You know, I was like,
wow, this is like, I've reallystepped into my power here.
And then I turned 21, 20 two,and I started getting into
alcohol, started getting intodrugs and just going down the
wrong path. And it was onlythrough health and fitness that

(02:24):
I was able to overcome that. AndI was like, this message needs
to get out because there's somany people struggling out
there. I was like, this thispeople need to know that if you
step into yourself and you trulywork on yourself and you do the
deep work, you know, not justphysically, but, like,
emotionally, mentally as well,My goodness. Like, you're going
to feel amazing, and that'sgoing to bleed into all other

(02:47):
aspects of your life.
So that's when I was like, thismessage needs to get out to the
world. Yeah. Yeah.

Eric (02:52):
I know.

Dan Whaley (02:53):
And, and that's when I became a fitness coach, you
know, through my best friend andbusiness partner now. He got me
into this space, and, you know,I thank him for I wouldn't be
here without him.

Crystal (03:05):
Shout out Thomas.

Dan Whaley (03:06):
Shout out Thomas Padilla. Yeah. Thanks, Thomas.
And, and and, yeah, you know, soso since then, you know, I I I
truly specialize in helping menover two hundred pounds just
become the two point o version

Eric (03:18):
Mhmm.

Dan Whaley (03:18):
Of themselves, through fitness, through health,
through nutrition. And and likeI said, just truly working on
yourself. It's Mhmm. People thathave never done that before,
that have that have stepped intoit is they have that moment as
well, and that's what I love.Giving people that moment, like,
oh, wow.
Like, this isn't as hard as as Ithought it was going to be. You

(03:39):
know? So

Crystal (03:39):
And then it changing the trajectory of their lives.

Dan Whaley (03:42):
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

Eric (03:44):
Yeah. Well, I think that act that was a that's a
fantastic segue into, the topicof discussion for today, which
is discipline, with hints ofself sabotage in there too.
Because I think those those twothings, both tie kinda tie into
each other, in various ways.Would you say discipline is like
the opposite kind of ofsabotage, I guess? Like, if

(04:06):
you're if you're if you'resabotaging yourself, then you're
also not being disciplined.
Right?

Crystal (04:09):
Yeah. I'd challenge the audience to ask themselves what
the opposite of self sabotageis. I I think discipline fits
that mold pretty well.

Eric (04:17):
Mhmm. Yeah. And so I think that there's even in in in BNI
too, there's a lot of disciplinethat is, necessary. You know, a
lot of people, like myselfincluded, get getting up at 7AM,
you know, actually earlier than7AM. That's when our meetings
are yeah.
They're getting up at you know,we we meet at 06:45. Mhmm. And
so but you still gotta drive tolocation. You still gotta get

(04:38):
dressed. You gotta get ready.
You gotta do your morningroutines. So I get up at 05:30.
Five actually, lately, it's been05:15 five. I leave

Crystal (04:46):
here at 05:30. So Yeah. Yeah. No. It it's a commitment.
Yeah.

Dan Whaley (04:50):
Same boat. I'm up at, you know, between before 5AM
is what I is what I strive for.

Eric (04:56):
Yeah.

Dan Whaley (04:57):
And, yeah, I mean, it's it's it's BNI is, there's a
requirement to it, you know? Andyou have to be you have to have
some level of discipline. Right?There's there's gotta be a
discipline counter on the on thepodcast of how many times we say
discipline on this episode.Yeah.

Eric (05:12):
I know. Seriously. Yeah. Kinda a little a little check,
little thing. You know, a littlebit of stuff.

Dan Whaley (05:15):
Have a

Crystal (05:15):
glass of water.

Eric (05:16):
Seriously. Take a take a shot or something. Yeah. Woah.
No.
Not on this podcast. Not on thispodcast.

Dan Whaley (05:22):
But, yeah, you know, there there there's a level of
requirement that you have to gothrough. You know? Like, if you
want to be in the green, yougotta have that discipline to go
with it. You gotta show up tothe meeting on time. You gotta
do your one to ones.
You gotta go out and seekreferrals. You know? You gotta
get your CEUs done. Yep. Makesure that you watch this podcast
so that you can get a CEU.
Right? So Exactly. Yeah. It'sit's it's it's tough. It's

(05:44):
challenging, really.

Crystal (05:45):
But it pushes you because those same areas that
you maybe weren't focusing onwhen you do focus on them, like,
you see the results from thediscipline always has results
when you're when you're makingan effort. If you we weren't
focusing on those things, Idon't think BNI would be the
same because I think thestructure of BNI helps you be
disciplined because there is astructure in place that it's

(06:07):
like, okay. Yeah. I need to havea one to one. Oh, yeah.
I forgot. I haven't invited avisitor for a while. That's
something I might wanna do tobenefit the chapter too, not
just ourselves.

Eric (06:17):
Yeah. I think too, what's what's you know, I was I was
wondering, like, I was thinkingthe fact that we kinda meet
early, like, when like, when youkinda pull out that discipline,
even if, you know, some peoplemight be more more begrudging,
but they do it anyways, which isgreat. Applaud. You know, you
might not you you might not likedoing it, but you get there
anyways. Other people, thismight be easier because maybe

(06:37):
they're natural early birds.
Right? And, but I think thataspect of kind of, you know,
pulling yourself out and gettingyourself, to the meeting, I
think that's gonna affect otheraspects of b and I. Like, okay.
Now you're gonna maybe do theone to ones that you necessarily
wouldn't have done, you know,because you're putting in this
extra effort of getting to themeeting. I know we're talking

(06:59):
about earliest other aspects ofthat, but I think, you know, all
all all the all the, like, thosethose, not not requirements,
but, like, the baseline,commitment commitments.
Right? What was the work? TheCUs.

Crystal (07:14):
In my head too.

Eric (07:15):
Right. The CUs, the the coming to the meetings, it it it
does require discipline, butthat's kind of, like, what makes
BNI successful, is those is thehaving those requirements
because that, I think, pulls outthe discipline. And And,

Crystal (07:29):
also, it kind of can tell you who's someone that you
might actually wanna do businesswith. If they're not disciplined
enough to make it to a meetingwhere a bunch of people could
benefit them. Exactly. And thenwhen you've asked people and you
tell them what time Yes. That wemeet, you're like, 06:45.
And they're like,

Eric (07:44):
look at you.

Crystal (07:45):
Like Yeah. Like, oh my gosh. You must be crazy then.

Eric (07:48):
Right. And and then it makes you wonder, like, okay.
Well, how committed are theyreally to their business? Yeah.
Right?
They want maybe, like okay. Youknow, you you come to BNI
initially, right, because you'relooking for more more more
business. Right? If you don'tneed more business, people
aren't it's like, I don't needmore. I'm not gonna come to BNI.
Okay. Fair enough. But if youare do need more business, but
then you still choose not tocome to BNI because of the
commitments, how committed isthat person to their own

(08:11):
business then, really?

Dan Whaley (08:12):
Yeah. You have to be you have to be reliable. And not
only to yourself. Right? Youhave to be reliable to others.
And and that's, like, thesurface level first commitment
of BNI. Like, can you bepunctual? You know? Like, do you
have what it takes to get tothis meeting on time regardless
of traffic, regardless ofwhatever excuse that you have.
It's like, if you can't bepunctual, I noticed that.

(08:34):
Like, I noticed that in BNI whensomeone's walking into the
meeting consistently at 07:15,I'm like, oh, I don't I'm not
sure I wanna, like, you know,really go out of my way to try
and refer them. Because if theycan't be punctual to this
meeting, what does that say tothem what does that say about
them in their business? Youknow, like, if I refer, my best

(08:55):
friend or my mother or mygrandmother, and she's expecting
you to be at a certain place ontime. Yeah.

Eric (09:01):
You're so 15 late

Dan Whaley (09:02):
at twelve. Fifteen minutes late. Like, that's a
reflection of me now because Ijust put my name out there for
you, and you're kind of like,you know, you're not you're not
reliable. Mhmm. And I mean,that's a big one for me.
Punctuality is is huge for me.

Eric (09:16):
Mhmm.

Crystal (09:16):
And there's also a huge direct correlation between
attendance and thank you ofclosed business.

Eric (09:22):
Mhmm.

Crystal (09:22):
So attendance is the one thing that they've really
dialed in to BNI that can affectyour thank you for closed
business the most. So you'relike you're saying those people
might not be as likely to referyou if you're late every week,
but, also, I have we havesomeone that shows up. Suzanne
shows up about 06:12 everymeeting.

Eric (09:43):
My goodness. I

Dan Whaley (09:43):
had an

Eric (09:44):
idea. Shout

Dan Whaley (09:44):
out, Suzanne.

Eric (09:45):
Alright. Alright.

Crystal (09:46):
She's always making me be there a little extra early,
so you guys didn't know I'malways a little more committed
than Yeah. People realizebecause there's certain people
that like to show up early sothat they can just make sure
that they're there.

Dan Whaley (10:00):
Yeah. And there's definitely, there's definitely a
pattern too. It's like peoplethat people that don't have that
in them, they don't last long inBNI. Mm-mm. And they really
don't.
And it's not because we don'twant them there, but it's
because they're not getting thereferrals that they want, or
they're not building therelationships that they want.
And I think so often, we tryand, like, externalize it of,

(10:21):
like, oh, well, you know, it wastheir fault that I didn't get
the referral, or it was, youknow, someone else's, you know,
the traffic or something likethat. But, like, I think we
gotta look inward more oftenthan not. Like, okay. Well, what
is it what more can I do to havethat level of reliability that
people that people are countingon me to be there?
And I I feel bad if I'm not, youknow, showing up as the best

(10:42):
version of myself. So, I mean,yeah. There's a it's like a
direct correlation between,like, okay, like, how punctual
are you? How disciplined areyou? How reliable are you?
How much referrals are you gonnaget? Mhmm. How long are you
gonna last in BNI? Mhmm. And itstarts there.

Crystal (10:56):
Would you say discipline is personal
accountability?

Dan Whaley (11:00):
A %. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Because you, you know, you
there are things that you can doahead of time, you know, rather
than just so one thing that Ilike to say, right, is is
planning is something that youdo when you expect things to go
perfectly.
Right? Like, I'm I'm planning onbeing there at 06:45. Okay.

(11:21):
Great. There's chances are thatthat plan is not gonna happen.
But when you prepare to be thereat 06:45 and it starts the night
before, like, you're laying outyour clothes, you're setting the
alarm, you're setting the backupalarm, and the the third alarm
in case the backup alarm doesn'tgo off. And

Eric (11:39):
I like how you kind of separated the difference
between, like, preparing forsomething and planning for it.
Because we plan for lots ofdifferent things.

Dan Whaley (11:46):
Yeah.

Eric (11:47):
But, you know, so many times you plan for this, and
then there's a car accident. Nowyou're twenty minutes late
because the car accident, whichwas completely out of your out
of your your control. Butdepending on, you know, the
importance of what you're goingto, that's why you maybe wanna
try to get twenty minutes early.So now Yeah. You're getting
there at least on time now,right, in those in those
instances.
And I've done the same thing,multiple alarms. I've had

(12:08):
moments where, like, I wake upand I look at my clock, and I'm
like, oh, this is nice. And it's08:00. And I'm like, wait. I had
a shoot that started at eight.
Like, that happened to me onetime. Mhmm. Boy, that gave me a
freaking heart attack, and Iwas, like, going so fast. And
it's all because I didn't Ididn't set two alarms. Yeah.
You're right? And so dependingon

Dan Whaley (12:27):
And that could have been avoided by preparation.

Eric (12:29):
By better preparation.

Dan Whaley (12:30):
Which is when things are life's never going to go as
as planned. Life's never goingto go perfectly. So, like, the
other day when, you know, whenwe had our BNI meeting, the
night before, I made mybreakfast for that for that
morning. You know, I set out mygym bag because I knew that I
was gonna go, you know, work outafter BNI. I got my clothes
ready, my intro workout ready,my post workout ready.

(12:53):
It's like everything was readyfor me to be successful. And if
I just planned it in themorning, guess what? I'd be
rushing out the door. I'd bespilling my coffee out the door
because I'm rushing. Right.
Right. Right. Right. Now I'mlate, and then now it's a, you
know

Eric (13:05):
Negative But you know what that does too. Question. Yeah.
And here's what that does doestoo as well. You're you're kind
of stressed.
You have this extra anxiety. Sonow you kinda show up to your
thing, and you're, like,flustered.

Crystal (13:15):
On an energetic level. Yeah. Yeah. You're you're really
attracting more, and then itspirals the whole day. And

Eric (13:21):
then by the end of

Crystal (13:21):
the day, you're like, oh, man. I'm over it.

Eric (13:24):
Right. And now but then also if the people around you,
they're like, man, Dan is hewhat he's I don't know if I
don't know about that guy. Youknow? He's kind of flustered and
all over the right? And so it itit it the it it also is going to
reflect kind of your your, Iguess, your, especially for
first time people who who meet.
Like, if there's new visitors.Right? Maybe there's somebody

(13:45):
that shows up. What was it? I Iwas actually I wasn't at the
meeting the other day.
It was one of my first, likelike, absences that I've I've
had since being vice president.And Yeah.

Crystal (13:55):
But you were covered.

Eric (13:57):
No. And and and I guess I heard that we had a lot of
visitors that night.

Dan Whaley (14:01):
Goodness. Yeah.

Eric (14:02):
My goodness did we have a lot of

Dan Whaley (14:04):
which was kinda great.

Eric (14:04):
I'm like, of course. The one day that I'm out there, I
was like, dang. I wanted to seeall the visitors. And Yeah. And
but, like, imagine if you kindashow up late and all the visitor
you know, there there might besomeone who would normally have
contacted you, but maybe they'reyou know, you're giving off
weird vibes or something likethat.
And you might not even know itbecause you're flustered. Mhmm.
Right? And so it's that's alsothe the the positivity aspect

(14:27):
that comes out of, like, beingself, like, better more self
disciplined. Mhmm.
So okay. So how how doessomebody kind of, like, work on
be more self disciplined? Howdoes someone kind of, like,
begin? Whether it's, like, fitwhether it's fitness or whether
it's business, whether it'swhatever. Right?

Dan Whaley (14:47):
That's an easy that's an easy one. It's small
habits. It's small wins stackedup over time. Because when you
it it's a cycle. When you stackthese small wins, your
confidence grows.

Crystal (14:58):
Yep.

Dan Whaley (14:58):
And the more your confidence grows, the more you
stack small wins. And the moresmall wins you stack, the more
disciplined you are. And themore disciplined you are, the
more you realize, okay. I needto be prepared. And then the
more prepared so it's thiscycle, and it all starts with
just winning that day.
And I think so often we get weget caught up in, like, okay. I
need to I need to, like, youknow, one week out, I need to do

(15:20):
this much. Two weeks out, I needto do this much. It's like, no.
You know?
What are you gonna do in thenext twenty four hours

Eric (15:26):
Mhmm.

Dan Whaley (15:26):
To set yourself up for then the next twenty four
hours and then the next twentyfour hours? So it's that it's
that, like, that confidence andcompetence cycle Mhmm. That that
you need to get good at. Andthat's only going to come from
just winning that first day.Mhmm.
And that's how you that's howyou do it. I mean, that's how
you stay disciplined, is notthinking about I mean, sure,

(15:47):
looking at the big picture isgreat. Like, looking at it from
a 30,000 foot view is fantastic.But so often, we look at it from
a 30,000 foot view, and we'relike, oh my god. I'm not where
I'm supposed to be at.
And and then you start, youknow, getting stressed out, and
then you get tense, and then youget, you know, inside yourself.
And Yeah. And and then that'swhen sabotage comes into play,

(16:08):
and you start, like, gettingreally uncomfortable

Eric (16:10):
with yourself. I know I fall into that trap a lot. And,
like, that's one thing I've hadto really kinda come to terms
with is just really focusing on,like, okay. Just focus on, like,
today's things, whatever itmight be. Because, like, it's it
is I've I've I've done thosesorts of things where I've kinda
like, okay.
I'm gonna plan out, like, here'swhat's gonna happen throughout

(16:31):
the whole year.

Dan Whaley (16:31):
Yeah.

Eric (16:31):
I think every single time I've done that, I've never I've
never achieved whatever the goalwas was set.

Dan Whaley (16:37):
No.

Eric (16:38):
And, you know, maybe there's some if you can do that,
I guess, fantastic. Great. Goodon you if you can do that. I've
never been able to do that, andit just causes more stress for
me.

Crystal (16:47):
Well, the the way the brain works too is if your goal
is to, like, jump a hundredfeet. If you, in your mind,
know, oh, I can't jump a hundredfeet, but then, like coach Dan
said, what if I jump 10 feet?

Dan Whaley (16:59):
Mhmm.

Crystal (17:00):
And then what if I jump 20 feet? And then what if by the
time you're slowly build up thatability, maybe you could jump a
hundred feet, but you but youcan't get to the point, that
endpoint without the littlestepping stone.

Dan Whaley (17:12):
Yeah. What's that ancient Chinese proverb, right,
the journey of a thousand milesstarts with one step?

Eric (17:17):
Step. Yeah. Yeah.

Dan Whaley (17:18):
Yeah. I love that. I love that quote. Right? Because
it's so true.
You know? It's like I think wewe we really do get way too far
ahead of ourselves and thenstress ourselves out to the
point of of now I'm paralyzedbecause now I'm overanalyzing
it. Yeah. Right? And

Crystal (17:34):
And you're not in your authentic energy, like both of
you said, when you're in that,like, like, fight or flight or
that anxiety. That's not thereal you. Like, that's not the
way you would be responding tothings because that anxiety is,
like, over running your, like,natural programming.

Dan Whaley (17:50):
Mhmm. Yep. Absolutely. And you know how to
you know how to combat that?Preparation.
Right? Just it starts with justit starts with just, like, just
knowing what you're going to donext. Mhmm. And I think that's
so it's such a comfortable thingto have. Mhmm.
Right? If we know, like,alright. I'm gonna work out
today at some point. You know?At some point today, I'm gonna

(18:11):
work out.
And just knowing that, okay.This is on the schedule, and I'm
going to prepare to get there.It's it's comfortable in knowing
that rather than being like, hi.I hope I'm gonna work out today,
because then that that hopenever that never blossoms.

Eric (18:29):
Yeah. I think, you know, when when you kinda speak these
kind of, like, coin flip words,like hope or maybe

Crystal (18:38):
Oh, yeah.

Eric (18:38):
Or I'd like to. Like, those kind of words that are not
like like, it's happening.

Dan Whaley (18:42):
I like that. The coin flip word is everything.

Eric (18:45):
That you almost, like, 99% of the time, that actually means
no.

Crystal (18:49):
Yeah.

Eric (18:49):
Right? Like, if I meet with someone and and and, like,
oh, we'd like to connect and,like, oh, maybe we can connect
next week. Usually, that meansno. We're not connecting unless
we're like, okay. Great.
Let's get it on the calendarright now. Then maybe it will.
Right? Then it might. Maybe.
Yeah. Maybe.

Dan Whaley (19:03):
That's that's absolutely something that I love
doing at, you know, in the atthe in person meetings. If
someone wants to do a one toone, they're like, okay. Text me
tomorrow. I'm like, no. Let's dothis right now.
Let's get this on the calendarnow.

Eric (19:15):
Right.

Dan Whaley (19:16):
Because if it's on the calendar, 99% of the time,
it's happening.

Eric (19:19):
Right.

Crystal (19:20):
Yeah.

Dan Whaley (19:20):
You know? And and you make, like, you make that
sacrifice to be like, alright.Well, I guess I'm not going to
the Padres game because I have aone to one or, you know, like,
some you know, whatever. Or

Crystal (19:30):
you're coming with me.

Dan Whaley (19:30):
Yeah. Whatever. Maybe a one to one is a pod race
game.

Crystal (19:33):
I've done that before. Yeah.

Eric (19:35):
Yeah. And yeah. So that that's that's, so I I I think
it's important to kind of avoidthat kind of talk, when if you
have the the the those goals.And so I think speaking things
like, Tangible. Like, I will goto the b and I meeting, or I'll

(19:57):
be at the not I'll try to be.
Avoid those those those words.Like, I'll be

Crystal (20:03):
things into existence. Yeah.

Eric (20:04):
Sneaking it into existence. There's a lot of
power in that. And, you know, Ithink by doing that as well,
once you kind of are at themeeting, even if maybe, you
know, everyone has days where,you you you you know, like,
okay. I'm not really feelinglike I wanna go, but a lot of
the, you know, discipline iskind of overcoming that feeling

Dan Whaley (20:26):
Mhmm.

Eric (20:26):
And and overcoming how you maybe feel in the moment. But I
have found that that the dayswhere I really don't want to go
to BNI and I go anyways usuallyare the tends all it seems to
always be, like, the mostimpactful day or, like, there's
somebody there Yep. That Iconnect with or whatever it is.
I'm like, okay. That's happenednumerous times.

(20:47):
So now and I mean, now it's thepoint I don't I I like, I'm
always I'm always committed togoing to BNI unless I literally
absolutely cannot for whateverreason. It's I'm never going to
BNI. When I first joined, therewas a few there were several
times where I was like, I reallydon't wanna go, and I just don't
go. And then, and then but thathasn't happened in a few years
now. And and, a lot of that iskinda like what you said, just

(21:08):
kinda building that habit andthat repetition and that
building that that disciplinethat it becomes easier

Dan Whaley (21:12):
Yeah.

Eric (21:13):
As you do it. I got it. I just wanna It's kinda like a
muscle, actually, I think.

Crystal (21:17):
I have a question for you, coach. So where do you
think that the disciplinestarts? Is it in the thoughts
and the words? Because, I mean,there's the action and the
preparation, but where the stepsbefore that is like well, Eric
was saying is like, okay. Say memaybe the word maybe pops up or
I I'm thinking about it or andthen you catch yourself saying,

(21:40):
wait.
No. I'm actually gonna pull outmy phone and do it right now.
Where do you think that becauseyou said preparation. If you
could take it a step, like,reverse, what do you think helps
with the preparation?

Dan Whaley (21:54):
Yeah. Great question. I I think it I think,
like, what you said, I believeit starts in the mind. Right?
Because someone someone is notgoing to change unless they feel
that pull to change, unlessthey've already thought about it
and they're sick of staying thesame person, they're staying the
same in their business, they'remaking the same amount of money.

(22:16):
It's like, okay. What do we needto do differently? And that's
definitely going to start uphere because, you know, you
can't you can't start preparingfor something that you don't
know how to prepare for. So assoon as you start thinking of it
and, you know, my grandpa alwayssaid, like, creating a plan is
great, but not having steps toaccomplish that plan is that's

(22:37):
your downfall because you haveno idea where to start. So
creating the plan in your head,creating that vision, I believe
that's where it starts.
Right? And just kind of like thewords that you tell yourself,
like changing the I can'tstatements to the I can
statements and just how you kindof perceive yourself as well.
Like, if you if you trulybelieve that the story you're
telling yourself in your head istrue, you're going to start

(22:59):
creating those habits andcreating those thoughts to
reinforce that narrative thatyou're telling yourself.

Crystal (23:05):
Yep.

Dan Whaley (23:05):
So if you start telling yourself a different
narrative, like, no. I amcapable of change. I I can do
this. I can lose weight. I canbuild my business.
I can join b and I and give out10 referrals a month, hopefully.
Right? Yeah.

Eric (23:19):
Right. Right.

Dan Whaley (23:20):
That that would be great, but that's definitely
where it starts. It's thenarrative that you tell yourself
in your head. Mhmm. And as soonas you switch the narrative from
being negative to positive,that's when you start
experiencing, like, that, thatweight lifted off your shoulders
a little bit, and then you canstart taking more action because
you actually feel like it'spossible. Mhmm.

Eric (23:42):
Yes. You know, that kinda goes back to kind of, like,
those those, baby steps. Like,the they're doing those those
initial things where it's like,you might someone might look at
because I could see someonelooking at at the commitments
for BNI, the one one to oneweek, one referral, one visitor,
looking at all those things andbe like, man, I can't do all
that, you know, and saying thatto themselves. And but if you

(24:04):
just kinda focus on, okay, justjust meet with someone Mhmm.
Just that one thing, like, youknow, start with that and then
add on the next thing and justone thing at a time, it it it I
think that's once you kinda geta rhythm with that, you know, it
ends up being kind of a, youknow, really a breeze, honestly.

(24:26):
Like, it it becomes easier.

Dan Whaley (24:27):
Yeah.

Eric (24:28):
And, I do think a lot of people, especially, you know, a
lot of the particularly, Iguess, a lot a lot of new people
that kind of joined to get kindof overwhelmed sometimes with
all the different commitmentsbecause they are you know, other
networking groups don'tnecessarily have these these
commitments. Structure. Right.The structure. But I think I
mean, that's definitely whatmakes BNI powerful and

(24:49):
successful is the structure.
But, to a lot of people who havenot, really focused on that or
been involved with that could beI it could be I know it was
overwhelming when I firststarted. I was in the gray for a
while. Like, I I started alittle bit, but, like, I was in
the gray initially, and I wasjust like, man. I was like, I'm
gonna get kicked out. Like,they're gonna be like, who is
this guy?

(25:10):
And and then and then I justkinda really I had to talk with
Amber. Like, I gotta, like,like, really focus and commit on
this, And and, you know, themembership committee was very,
like, graceful. I told them. Iwas like, no. I'm gonna
recommit.
I'm gonna I'm going to do this.Mhmm. And, you know, then I was
able to, like, pull myself outand get myself into the yellow
and such. Right? But, like, itreally took a took a extra

(25:32):
effort in, like, okay.
I've gotta really, like, maketime for all all, all the the
the one to ones and the CUs andall that stuff. And

Dan Whaley (25:42):
That's that's something right there is because
so often I hear, like, I'm avisitor host. Right? And so
often I hear, well, I'm nevergonna find the time to do that.
I'm like, well, okay. Let'schange that thought because

Eric (25:54):
That's true right now. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're
speaking it. It's true.
Yeah. Yeah. Right?

Dan Whaley (25:58):
Because, if you're searching for the time, you're
gonna be like, well, I can'tgive up that, and I can't give
up that. But if you switch itto, okay, I need to create the
time for this because I see itas valuable. I see it as
something that's going to growmy business, grow myself, grow
my relationships, and and thenyou feel that pull to want to do
it, and then you start creatingthat time for it. Right.

Crystal (26:20):
And then you start to see your traffic lights go up.
You're like, oh, I'm out of theyellow. Oh, I remember in the
green. Yay.

Dan Whaley (26:27):
Yeah. And progress is addicting too. Yeah. You
know? Like, even if it even ifit is just the even if it is
just the the the traffic lights.
Right? It's like I was in theyellow for some time, and then
I, like, inched up to the green,and then I dropped back down to
the yellow.

Eric (26:39):
I was like,

Dan Whaley (26:40):
dang it. How do I get back to the green? Like,
what do I need to do? You know?And then that's when I started,
like, seeking referrals.
I'm like, okay. Gotta get myreferrals up. I got like, let's
go seek them. You know? And andand, yeah, I mean, that progress
is addicting.
And it's the same thing with,like, fitness as well. You know?
It's like as soon as you ifyou're not seeing progress, it's
hard to just continue to do thesame thing. Oh my god. I'm not

(27:04):
seeing the progress.
But as soon as you do, you'relike, oh, this is nice. Like, I
like how these jeans are fittingright now. And I think it's the
same with business. As soon asyou start seeing that progress,
you're like, oh, so I gotta domore of this because this is
what was working. And then youstart thinking of, instead of
having all this to do list, youreally narrow it down to, like,

(27:27):
one or two things that aremoving the needle in your
business.
Mhmm. And then that relieves thestress, and you're like, okay.
I'm focusing on on on givingreferrals because I know that
givers gain. Mhmm. Or what orwhatever it is that's growing
your business.
And I think that if you can dothat, like, if you can narrow
your focus instead of thinkingabout all the 10 things that you
have to do Mhmm. Of those 10things, there's probably only

(27:49):
two that are really moving yourbusiness. Mhmm. Yeah. Put your
time

Crystal (27:53):
there. Yeah.

Eric (27:54):
Yeah. And the other ones, you know, oftentimes, I think we
can find other people in ourcircle that can kind of help
with those things. Either it'smaybe it's an employee you have
or whatever that can that starttaking on some some additional
work that maybe you're spendingway too much time that's not
really effective use of your ofof your time. And or maybe it's
like, okay. You you maybe youneed to hire somebody to kind of

(28:17):
help help with those with thewith with those things.
Because there is you know, Ithink there are some people that
will that do show up into b andI meetings, and they show up
late, and they actually are,like, wait maybe they actually
are super, super, super busy.And okay. Well, what are some
things that that you can do thento to kind of free up some of

(28:38):
your time so you can spend moretime in

Crystal (28:40):
Stack your one to ones. Right.

Eric (28:42):
Or or yeah. That maybe maybe it's be be more, like,
efficient with with how you youhave your one to ones. Maybe you
kind of, like, have a one to oneday or something like that.
Right? And and so I do think wekinda get, like like, narrow
minded, I guess, into, like, oh,I I gotta do this thing here,

(29:04):
but maybe you don't need to justfocus on that one thing because
maybe that's not where you know,maybe your focus should be over
here, but you're too focused inthis one area.

Crystal (29:11):
You think that's why BNI has so many areas that they
track? Because I mean,obviously, you can see the
difference between someone who'sin the red and someone who's in
the green when they justinteract in their engagement and
their discipline within thegroup. What advice would you
have to someone that's in thered that, like, wants to have
more discipline but doesn't knowwhere to start with BNI.

Dan Whaley (29:33):
Talk to someone in the green?

Eric (29:34):
Mhmm.

Dan Whaley (29:35):
Like, what like, what are they do what are they
doing? What are they doing thatI'm not doing? Because there's
got there's gotta be something.Right? You know?
Maybe it's being on Nextdoor.Maybe they're on Nextdoor a
little bit more often, andthey're just, like, shooting
referrals. But that that's whatI think, you know. It's like if
if if I want to be successful inbusiness, I'm not gonna talk to
someone that's not successful inbusiness. You know?

(29:57):
So it's like this in trafficlights, if I wanna be in the
green, I'm not talking tosomeone in the gray or the red
or the yellow. I'm talking tosomeone in the green. I'm
talking to the first person.

Eric (30:06):
No problem. Your top number one to one. Yeah.

Dan Whaley (30:09):
Right? And and that's that's the person I'm
having a one to one with.

Eric (30:13):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great I think that that's a,
kind of a a good analogy withthat. Like, if you're, you know,
like, in in your case, if ifyou're someone's trying to lose
a hundred pounds, you're notgonna talk to someone that's
overweight to lose to to loseweight.
Right?

Dan Whaley (30:30):
Yeah. Or even talk to the coach that's never lost a
hundred pounds

Eric (30:32):
Or that.

Dan Whaley (30:33):
If they've been skinny all their life.

Eric (30:35):
That's true because they don't understand that. They
don't know.

Dan Whaley (30:37):
Like, they don't know. Like, exactly. Yeah. So
it's talking to having someonein in your corner that has been
in your shoes before or has donewhat you're trying to do is
important in every aspect oflife. You know?
Business, relationships, health,wealth, everything. Right?
Having that meant that's whypeople pay so much money for

(30:59):
mentors

Eric (30:59):
as well. Yeah. Mhmm. Yep.

Dan Whaley (31:00):
You know? Because they're going to streamline your
success. Mhmm. Because they'regoing to give you the exact
steps. And it's up to youwhether or not you do them or
not.
Mhmm. You know? And and andthat's that's you know, I'm sure
Crystal can relate as well. It'slike you can give someone the
mental outlook that they need,but if they're not doing the
deep work, if they're not doingthe steps, they're not going to

(31:23):
recover. They're not going toheal.
So you need to, like, okay,hiring a mentor is great.
Talking to the person that'sfirst on the passport program is
great, or on the, traffic lightsMhmm. Is great. But if you're
not implementing and doing whatthey tell you to do, you're
still just gonna be in the red.Or you might move up a little
bit, but then you're gonna getuncomfortable because you

(31:43):
realize that, oh, man, like,this is unfamiliar.
I don't I don't I'm gonna, like,you know, just kinda this was
comfortable back here. You know?And and and then that's how
people stay the same for yearsand years and years.

Eric (31:56):
Yeah. Yeah. And that kinda goes along with the with with
the being disciplined. Right?And so

Dan Whaley (32:04):
Self to discipline. Yeah.

Eric (32:05):
Self to discipline. And so now I wanna kinda talk talk a
bit about the I guess, what wekind of were deciding is sort of
the opposite of this was thatthat self sabotage. Mhmm.

Dan Whaley (32:17):
And one

Eric (32:18):
of the things and I've I've been in this boat before. I
think we've all experienced thisat one point or another. When
you're in this self sabotage,like, mindset, sometimes it can
be so difficult to get out ofit. And you may even recognize
it, but you're still just, like,so down

Dan Whaley (32:35):
Yes.

Eric (32:35):
About not reaching your thing or whatever it is,
whatever your goal might be, orwhatever you're kinda going
through, it can be really hardto kinda pull your to to to get
out of that sabotage mindset. Sowhat and this goes to kind of
both of you guys. I think youboth of you have, like, I think,

(32:56):
really good insight in this areahere. How do you what do you
guys suggest to people? Like,when someone's in that that self
sabotaging mindset, how what arethe first steps for someone to
kind of get out of that?
To kind of, like, just to getbaseline. Forget the discipline
side of it. Just to get out ofthe self sabotage mindset. What
do what do Yeah. I'll go I'lltake

Dan Whaley (33:17):
I'll take the lead. I'll bat I'll bat first on this
one. So for me, my own personalstory, I was sabotaging last
year in my health and mybusiness, and it's because there
was a void in my life that Ineed filled. And for me, it was
I was lonely, you know, and Iwas just spending all my time

(33:39):
alone trying to grow mybusiness, just really just
grinding my gears. And to fillthat void of loneliness, I chose
to eat and to eat and to eat andto just soothe myself with food.
And there's other ways that youcan soothe yourself. So the
first thing that if you're in acycle of self sabotage, the

(34:00):
first thing that you need to dois find out, what am I soothing
myself from? Mhmm. You know? Or,like, what am I running from?
You know? And and for me, it wasidentifying, okay. I've been
lonely, and I've been wanting tojust fill that void of not
having no community, not beingaround others, And I felt I
filled that void with with foodand with having some drinks on

(34:23):
the weekends and, you know,kinda just relaxing and watching
movies and doing nothing. Andthat's the first thing that
people need to understand is,like I said, what are you
soothing yourself from? And assoon as you can identify that,
you can now attack that ratherthan attack the sabotage and

(34:46):
just continue to be in thatcycle.
And as soon as you going back tocreating a plan and creating the
steps to fulfill that plan, thenyou now have purpose. And I
think a lot of the time thatpeople are self sabotaging,
they've lost touch from theirpurpose. They no longer have the
purpose that they've that theyonce had. So figure out what

(35:07):
you're soothing yourself from,and figure out what your purpose
is moving forward. Because ifyou lose touch with both of
those things, cycle.
Sabotage, sabotage. And then itdoesn't, you know, and then now
you're just trying to becomfortable. Mhmm. And and we we
have to get uncomfortable first.And there's a period of time
where you have to work throughthat uncomfort.

(35:27):
And if we keep giving in to thatfeeling of uncomfort, we're back
in the sabotage cycle. So youhave to just remind yourself and
be very clear. And that's why Ijournal. I love journaling now.
You know?
Because it's like, okay. Myintention for the day, my
purpose for the day, this is whyI'm doing it. This is what I'm
grateful for. This is why I'm,you know, trying to be the best

(35:49):
version of myself. And when Istart my day like that, I'm
filled with purpose, and and Idon't I don't want it.
Like, someone dropped offcookies the other day to my
house. I was like, I'm good.Like, I'm I don't even want
anything to do with this.

Eric (36:03):
Stay away, girls council. Stay away. Yeah.

Dan Whaley (36:07):
Dan, three months ago, would have been, oh,
cookies. Like, let's go. Youknow? And, like, this is great.

Crystal (36:13):
You're like, here's $10 to stay away from me.

Dan Whaley (36:16):
Yeah. Now I'm like now I'm like, I'm good. I I
don't want them because I knowthat as soon as I have that
cookie, it's a slippery slope.So, yeah. Crystal, anything to

Crystal (36:28):
I actually a % agree with you, but I I think taking
it a a step deeper is, yes, weneed to find out why. Obviously,
the the things that we're doingare probably like a Band Aid.
They're they're kind of coveringwhat the real problem is. So
identifying, like like coachsaid, what is the reason that
you were eating? That lonelinessfor him was what he was trying

(36:49):
to resolve, but, also, it goesdeeper because the first seven
years of our life is when ourbrain is creating the mental
programs that we're operatingfrom.
From. So oftentimes, we think,oh, I'm experiencing this this
in my current life because ofall the things that I'm doing
right now, but it's also all thethings you're doing right now
and have happened to you in thepast. If you had six businesses

(37:12):
fail, you might not feel supercomfortable to start a seventh.
So those life experiences cankinda throw you off, but going
back in and kind of fine tuning,like you said, what is the
reason that we're doing this?Because we are all here for a
purpose.
We all have a reason that we putput on this life. When you're in
that authenticity and you'relike, I'm doing it. This is my

(37:34):
dream. I'm, like, living it evenwith the trials. Those trials
really are treasures.
Mhmm. Because they're teachingus the parts of ourselves that,
like, the traffic lights, thatone area I wasn't focusing on.
And then when you do step into,like, okay. Now I'm avoiding
that thing that's not servingme, you feel better about
yourself. So each step towardsyour authenticity, And I would

(37:56):
challenge people to understandthat the answers are already
within them if they listen deepenough that they can they can
find the solution.
But then, like, coach says, yougotta take action on it. Like,
it's one thing to think about itand, like, okay. This is my
goal. But, like, what steps areyou doing to prepare to step
into the action on a daily basisto keep yourself in your morning

(38:20):
routines? Morning routines havebeen highly proven to help
people have better days becauseyou're starting off in that
baseline of, like, a reallysolid energy because most
people's days are thrown off bythe first portion of their day
if the if they are at all.
So by stepping into that, like,super solid morning routine,
you're you're giving yourself,like, this boost saying, I got

(38:42):
your back to yourself. And Ithink people forget to have
their own back sometimes. Andthere's a really cool African
proverb that says, you wanna gosomewhere slow, go alone. If you
wanna go somewhere fast, go as ateam. And I think that's what
BNI does is it helps lift upthose goals that you're trying
to get to.
I mean, like, no. You can dothis. Like, hang in there. We

(39:02):
got this.

Dan Whaley (39:03):
Yeah. Well,

Eric (39:03):
it's like the accountability side. Right? If
you're alone, you really don'thave any accountability except
on yourself, which is a veryhard thing to do, especially if
you if you if you're you know,something happens and then
you're now in a little bit of aspiral of of self sabotage.
Right? Which I think happens toeverybody every once in a while.
You can't, like, avoid that thathappening at even people who are

(39:24):
really disciplined. Like, it'sit's gonna happen at some point,
and then it's okay. How are yougonna get yourself out of it
when not if, when that maybestarts to happen. You know? So
either you have I think it's acombination of a lot of things.
Like, you have accountability atat at BNI or just in your, you
know, your spouse or whatwhoever it might be, to kinda

(39:45):
help you with that. But thenalso having those tools, like
gratefulness, like, that'ssomething I do, like, every I I
have a morning routine now. Mymorning routine takes me about I
think it it takes me it varies alittle bit, but it takes
usually, it takes me about anhour. And so I always get up now
in the last you know, this I'vekind of always done this, but

(40:06):
more I actually spend more timein my morning routine. Like,
first thing I do is I read Iread my Bible every single
morning, and that's the veryfirst thing that that that, I
do.
But then the second thing is,like, writing down what you're
grateful for. Right? And so, forme, I write down three things
that I'm grateful for.

Crystal (40:22):
So good.

Eric (40:23):
And, you know, sometimes it can be even the same thing.
Like, you know, I have a roofover my head. I have an amazing
wife. I have whatever whateverwhatever those things are. And
no matter I think no matter howyou know, where you're at, we're
we have a tendency to see, like,oh, it's greener on the other
side from somebody else's life.

(40:43):
You look at somebody else, andthen you're kind of missing
like, there's probably a lot ofpeople looking at you, and you
don't realize it. They're like,man, I wish I had what that
person had. But now you're overhere looking at somebody else,
It's like, woah. Take a stepback and write down what you're
grateful for. What are the whatare what are, you know, what are

(41:04):
those things that you'regrateful for?
It's gonna be different foreverybody. But that is that, I
think, is is such an importantway to to to really start your
day is is start the start, youknow, writing down what you're
what you're grateful for. It'sso important because it it
really is if something badhappens later on that day,

(41:27):
you're gonna then go back like,okay. I'm grateful for these,
you know, these things that youstarted off your day. Starting
off your day, like, you know, ina very positive manner is so
important.
When I don't, it I feel like mywhole day is kinda ruined.

Crystal (41:40):
And gratitude is one of those highest the highest
frequency vibrations too. Sotuning into, like, gratitude,
you can't have gratitude andfear at the same time. So it's,
like, pushing out that fear outof out of the the day. Like, no.
There's no room for you here.
I'm full of gratitude, so I Ican't be full of that fear. I
have a question for coach aboutdiscipline.

Dan Whaley (42:02):
I first wanna piggyback off of what you said
real quick

Eric (42:04):
Yeah.

Dan Whaley (42:05):
Because it's something that I have realized
for myself. You said that theanswers are usually inside of
you first. Mhmm. And I felt thatso much when I was going through
my cycle of sabotage last year.When I was driving to the store
for, you know, some beers ordriving to the store for some
cookies, I was like, I shouldn'tbe doing this.

(42:27):
You know, like, I felt it in mygut, and I was like, I really
should not be going to thisstore. Like, I know that it's
bad. I know that this is notwhat I'm supposed to be doing,
and I never listened to that.And now when I'm, like, you
know, looking at the cookiesthat someone dropped off, I'm
like, like, I listen to my gutnow. And I think it's important,
like, if you're stepping intoBNI, you know, and and so often

(42:48):
in our chapter, in the Escondidochapter, we get, oh my god.
This is full of energy. You guysare our family. Like, we can
really feel it. And I thinkthat's important to, like, to to
take mental note of. If you'revisiting a BNI chapter and you
just don't feel it, you're justlike, this isn't you know, I
love you guys, but I this is I'mnot really feeling it.

(43:08):
Listen to that because moreoften than not, that answer is
inside of you. You've alreadyanswered it for you. Like, don't
force yourself to join thatchapter. But on the opposite
end, if you feel like, hey,like, oh my goodness, this
chapter was brought spoke lifeinto me and brought me energy,
and then and you take note ofhow you felt the rest of the
day. Like, whenever we have ourin person meeting, I feel so

(43:29):
good the rest of the day.
Oh, yeah.

Crystal (43:30):
I'm on fire.

Dan Whaley (43:31):
I'm, like, going to my workout, and I'm, like,
making PRs. You know?

Eric (43:34):
There's a reason we do these recordings a few days
after our in person b and Imeeting. When we do when we
record all our podcasts, we dothem all on on Thursday or
Friday, the day after our inperson. We do that because I I
chose that because I feelenergized. Yeah. I don't know
about you guys.
That's why that's why I waslike, no. I wanna do Thursday
and Fridays. I don't wanna if Ican avoid it, I wanna not do any

(43:56):
other day other than Thursday,Friday, also end of the week
because you're a little bit morepositive usually. You know, if
somebody's, I don't know, havinga, you know, a bad Monday or
something like that. I don'twanna have them.
Lose. Right. Exactly. So that'swhat another reason too. But so
it's after our Wednesdaymeeting, and you're just more
you're just more more, moreenergized.
So we we have a we have a hybridchapter, if you don't know. And

(44:18):
so, and I love the hybrid, but,you know, it has its moments
where it's, like, you know,throughout the online. Onlines
are just not the same as the inperson. They're just not. And I
love the in persons.
I think they're I think for ahybrid, they're a little bit
extra special because it's likewe don't see each other in
person for a whole month. So Inoticed, like, after we we we we

(44:41):
used to be in person. AfterCOVID, we went to hybrid. And, I
I noticed that, like like, youknow, that that first, like, in
person was super energetic.We've we've pretty much
maintained that, like, you know,the in persons that I just
remember now, I I feel likethey're more energetic, so
there's something extra specialabout them.
And so you have the podcastrecordings on Thursday, Friday.

(45:03):
It it makes all I think it makesall the difference doing them,

Crystal (45:07):
It's piggybacking off the momentum. The momentum. Yep.
Yeah.

Dan Whaley (45:10):
And there's so many times where you know, I'll be
completely transparent. There'sbeen a couple of times where I'm
like, I don't know if BNI isright for me. You know? Like,
you know, like, I'm not gettingcrazy amount of referrals. Like,
I'm in the green, which isfantastic.
And then I go to the in person,I'm like, my gut's telling me to
stay. You know? Like, I and Ithink it's very important. Like,

(45:31):
we we have to listen to our gutbecause that first initial jerk
reaction, that's usually the thetruth.

Eric (45:39):
Mhmm. You

Dan Whaley (45:40):
know? And and we gotta listen to that. And I we
we shouldn't just be like, shoveit down into our gut deeper.
Like, let that come up and, youknow, kind of explore it a
little. Like, sit in it a littlebit.
You know?

Crystal (45:53):
Mhmm. So my question actually directly related to the
story you just told. So thequestion that so you were
talking about how you were inthe car, and you knew you were
driving to the store to make achoice that probably wasn't
gonna benefit you. And we'retalking about discipline. So
when you're in that situationand you have that precipice
where you're like, I could turnaround and go back home or I

(46:15):
could keep driving to thegrocery store, what when you're
in that moment, do you thinkthat choosing the opposite of
what you're supposed to do isalmost a little bit of, like,
not loving yourself?
Because what is it that's makingyou because, yes, we talked
about we're we're band aidingit. We're kinda covering up what
are the root causes of whatthat's really bothering us. But

(46:39):
there's something within, like,that knowing. Like, you know you
probably shouldn't.

Eric (46:44):
Mhmm.

Crystal (46:45):
I've been there. Yeah. And and and you still do it
because it feels comfortable.It's like, I I get the quick
fix. But what would you if youwere to dive into, like, that
moment

Dan Whaley (46:56):
Yeah.

Crystal (46:57):
What would you say?

Dan Whaley (46:59):
For me, personally, it was because I felt I was not
worthy of success. So I thinkgoing back into, like, kind of
what we talked about towards thebeginning of this podcast was
you have this narrative that youcreate in your head. And for me,
I felt, okay. I'm not worthy ofsuccess. So, like, what's the

(47:20):
point?
I might as well just go eat somecookies. You know? Might as well
have that feeling of of of briefhappiness. So it's it's it's
like creating that story in yourhead of I am worthy. You know?
And if you feel worthy, you'renot going to want to go against

(47:41):
your will or go againstsomething that you know that you
shouldn't be doing becauseyou're like, this isn't going to
bring me the success that I'mworthy of or that I'm capable
of. So I think that's the firstthing is, feeling like you
deserve it, you know, and, like,owning that feeling. And that's
that's what I kinda forgot thequestion, but that's that's what

(48:02):
my answer is.

Crystal (48:03):
So to our audience, you are worthy and you are
deserving.

Dan Whaley (48:06):
Yeah. Absolutely.

Crystal (48:07):
Yeah. Absolutely. I I think I was just kind of trying
to dissect what it is in thatmoment when we have that fork in
the road.

Eric (48:15):
You're you're saying, like, you're you're are you
denying yourself, like, yourself love, I guess? Mhmm. If if
but but I think Love,

Crystal (48:22):
orginess, and deserving, they're all kind of
intertwined there.

Dan Whaley (48:26):
Still fits for sure.

Eric (48:28):
I guess, you know, the it it's sort of like a certain it's
like a negative desire, I guess.And and I guess the is it I
guess it's almost like anaddiction, I guess.

Crystal (48:42):
Short term.

Eric (48:42):
Right? Like a really short term addiction where it's, like,
it's compulsive. And I don'tknow if they know it's not
really, like, loving yourself. Iguess you have to kinda, like,
def I don't really know how todefine that that that really. So
I don't I don't think it'sreally it's it's denying
yourself, loving yourself.

Crystal (48:59):
Too. I mean, they get addicted I mean, there's a
component of the worthiness anddeserving, and and I think it
probably does stem from, youknow, your relationship with
yourself.

Eric (49:10):
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And so yeah. I guess that that's how
those things kinda, like, getget started, right, I suppose.
It's like, if if you get if ifyou're getting addicted to
something, then, you know, itstarted somewhere. Yeah.
Usually, it's probably gonnastart from some place negative,
or like you said, like, somekind of comfort re related
thing. So that's why I thinkpeople get addicted to food a

(49:32):
lot too. And and they

Crystal (49:35):
not as looked bad on. It's like, oh, well, you could
be doing worse.

Eric (49:39):
Yeah. Yeah. Well, they might I think somebody might
even justify it that way. We'relike, well, I could be doing
drugs. I could be doing meth orwhatever it might be.
Right? Like, who

Crystal (49:46):
cares if it's my thirty seventh soda for the day? Yes.
Exactly. Who cares?

Dan Whaley (49:50):
It's an addiction nonetheless.

Eric (49:52):
Right. Right.

Dan Whaley (49:53):
And I think, like, for me as a former addict, I I
was addicted because I lovedbeing in control. And whenever I
would use a substance, I waslike, oh, okay. Like, how can I
control this? You know? Like,how can I control the way that I
am on this?
And then I wouldn't be able to,like, say if I, you know, smoked
some weed or something like thatand I munched out. The next day,

(50:16):
I would want to be like, oh,man. Like, I'm so upset that I
munched out. Like, okay. I'mgonna try this again.
I'm gonna see if I can controlit this time. You know? And then
I wouldn't. And then it wouldjust be that, like, repetitive
cycle of, like, okay. I wanna bein control.
I wasn't in control. Let me tryand be in control again. And
then you try it again. And Ithink that's when you start,

(50:36):
like, forming that addictionbecause you're like you know
that it's not going to happen,but you continue to try to make
it happen and expect a differentoutcome.

Crystal (50:46):
And there's a chemical, like, a chemical reaction within
our body too that we're alsofighting against as well. Right.
Yeah. Mhmm.

Eric (50:53):
Yeah. Yeah. You get, like, a your body kinda develops,
like, a need for for for for,whatever those substances are or
whatever it is that you're It

Crystal (51:02):
can be other things too. It could be addicted to
negative talk. It could beaddicted to there's a lot of
things that we can shift, likeaddicted to thinking my business
is gonna fail. There's there's

Eric (51:13):
You know, there's it's interesting you mentioned that.
Yeah. Like, with with the withthe talk. That's something I've
I I know I've, really actually,somewhat recently, really been,
like, retraining my my brain.I've I've I've done some
reprograms and such too on this,like, that that that negative
talk there.
But but it's almost more in,like, a frustration a little

(51:33):
bit. And it's this negativetalk, and sometimes it's hours
like, oh,

Dan Whaley (51:38):
you know, why did this person do that

Eric (51:39):
and, you know, or why did they do this? And it's they
might I don't even necessarilyknow them. It's just like, I'm
just frustrated that this thingis happening, right, or whatever
whatever it might it might be.And but there's a certain and
there's a certain, like, comfortin that. Like you mentioned,
there's a certain, like, comfortin that even though it's
negative.
And and I know it's not good. Iknow that that's not a good

(52:03):
thing to do. So we it's like wehave this we have this sense of
recognition where we kind ofknow that this isn't good for
us, but we still kind of do itanyway. So there's that
discipline on, like, on on juststarting, I guess, like,
building that dis that musclediscipline to, to to to kind of

(52:27):
overcome those those things thatwe inherently, I think, know are
negative or bad for us.

Crystal (52:33):
Let's be real. In today's world, we've got a whole
bunch of things that people areworking against. I mean, we've
got the politics. We've got,like, the climate. I mean, San
Diego or in California, we weredealing with these wildfires.
Like, there's a lot of thingsthat trigger people. And when
you're triggered, you like, youwe talked about earlier, you're
not acting in your authenticenergy. So I think, like, what

(52:55):
coach said is taking thoselittle steps and make sure that
you remain that who you reallywanna be. It's like, who am I
today? When you journal and youstart your morning and you're
like, this is me.
I'm showing up.

Eric (53:07):
Yeah.

Crystal (53:08):
And then and then it would take someone a lot
stronger than you to throw thatoff of you. But if you wake up
and you're, like, groggy andyou're just rolling out of bed
and Yeah. Showing up.

Dan Whaley (53:18):
Turning on turning on the news and you see all
these negative news stories andthen you Yeah. That's one thing
that I try to avoid is the news,because I'm like, it's so sad,
you know? And I'm like, I gotenough things to be sad about. I
don't need other things in mylife, and and I feel it too. So
I think, like, looking at ouryou know, like, what's around
us, you know, and something thatI heard the other day is, like,

(53:41):
we're a product of the fiveclosest people to us.
Yep. And that's so true as well.Yep. You know? It's like, I I
don't I don't wanna be thatperson that I used to be.
So I'm surrounding myself withEric Beals, Crystal Privette,
you know, people that are

Crystal (53:56):
Let's go, coach.

Dan Whaley (53:57):
Yeah. People that are people that are positive and
loving, and then that's that'sanother great thing about BNI as
well. Like, if you're justlooking for positivity in your
life, join a BNI chapter. And ifyour BNI chapter is not that,
maybe start looking for a newone because it's it's it's
amazing what just beingsurrounded by other individuals

(54:19):
that are speaking life into you,it's amazing what that will do
for you. And starting your daylike that, oh my goodness.
It goes back to, like, howenergized we feel after our in
person meetings and whatnotbecause everybody in the chapter
is speaking life into you.They're like, I'm so excited to
see your business grow. I'm soexcited to see you grow. Like,
you're amazing. You're gonna dogreat things.

(54:41):
And you're like, me? Like, areyou sure? And they're like,
yeah. You're great.

Crystal (54:45):
I saw it this week with, Grant doctor, Garrett
Grant. He has he's a fairly newmember and a lot of people,
like, gave comments to him thisweek. And I saw him in his chair
and he sat back and he's, like,had this smile on. And I was
like, I was like, that is sogreat because people need to
have, you know, a lot of timesas an entrepreneur, it is very
isolating. You feel like you'retaking on all of the weight of

(55:08):
the world and you're like, oh,how am I gonna carry all this?
But that's what I love aboutBNI. Well, I just had to bring
up that moment because it's sogreat. Recognition.

Dan Whaley (55:16):
Mhmm. Right? Like being recognized, being seen,
being heard. You're like, okay,I can do this, you know? And if
we don't have that, if we're ineven a small chapter of five
people, it's like, you know,maybe maybe we don't have that
same level of recognition orbeing seen, things like that.
So I I love how big our chapteris, and because you you get that

(55:42):
true energy from multiplesources, and you just like,
alright. Hype me up some more,guys. I love this. You know?

Crystal (55:48):
Yeah. There's a saying I tell my kids. It's, if you
wanna have a good friend, youhave to be a good friend.

Dan Whaley (55:55):
Mhmm.

Crystal (55:56):
And so I think that even if you were in a small
chapter with five people andyour chapter was struggling, I
would suggest, like, just beingthat person,

Dan Whaley (56:04):
like Yeah.

Crystal (56:05):
Being the first one, taking that, like, high road to
maybe do one to one witheveryone in the group or or lift
someone up or support someone insome way.

Dan Whaley (56:15):
Mhmm.

Crystal (56:16):
Yeah. And I agree with you. I love our big chapter.
It's so fun to that energy inthe morning and the rumble. I
literally have to have amegaphone to get everyone,
settled down in the morning,but, it's it is a great group.
Yeah.

Eric (56:28):
Yeah. Yeah. The it it it it it that's especially
important, I think, for, like,new members too. Right? Because
I I mean, when I first came toVena, I was like, you know, I
was it's intimidating.
It is intimidating, especially abig chapter when there's a lot
of people Mhmm. Too. And then,you know, you're asked to speak
for thirty seconds. Actually, inour chapter, thirty seconds. I
think smaller chapters, they usesixty seconds.

(56:50):
Right? So that might that couldbe even more intimidating in
that case. In front of, youknow, thirty, forty, 50 people,
everyone's staring at you.That's an intimidating thing if
you haven't done that before.Yeah.
Right? And I think a lot ofpeople are they're not used to
doing that. I think probablymost people. But

Crystal (57:05):
We had a visitor that was from BNI United that was at
our chapter, and she said theyhad, like, I think, 18 in her
group, and she was like, I getnervous just, like, presenting
for that group. Like, this groupwas like, woah. But you could
also see she was energized byit. Yeah. Like, yeah.
It's sometimes we don't knowwe're in a comfort zone, and all
of a sudden we're like, oh,wait. I I can there's more.

(57:26):
Like, there is so many morelevels of where we can hit.

Dan Whaley (57:30):
I still get nervous presenting my thirty second
commercials. I'm like, I see myturn coming. My hand starts
sweating a little bit. I'm like,oh my god. I gotta speak in
front of people now.
And it's it's always wellreceived. And that's I think
it's really important. It'sjust, no one no one has ever
come out to be like, man, yourcommercials suck today. Yeah.

(57:51):
Right.
You know? And it's it was alwayslike if I was really nervous,
like, oh, man, my commercial'sgonna suck today. It was always
the opposite. Everybody comesup, great commercial today, my
dad. I'm like, thanks.
Didn't feel the same, but, youknow, I'm happy that you told

Eric (58:07):
me that. I remember one time that I felt like that in my
I was like, that was a horriblecommercial. It was terrible, and
I got the trophy. And I waslike, what? Shows me in my head.
I didn't reveal I didn't, like,show this in my head. I'm like,
really? You picked me for thetrophy lair? Like, I was like,
alright. Maybe I'm I was and Irealized I was like, maybe it
was better than I thought.
I guess it was enough. I feltlike it was bad, but But
oftentimes, you know, I I Ithink a lot of that that that

(58:30):
too is again, it's just buildingthe muscle. You just kinda get
used to it, and you get, you Imean, it builds your you build
you build confidence with ittoo, and then that that helps
overcome that that, that thatfear. Mhmm.

Crystal (58:45):
You actually came up in conversation the other day,
Eric, about this exact samething about, giving those
presentations and how at thebeginning, you you your hands
were sweating like coach, andyou were, like, really nervous.
And and now look at you. You'rethe vice president.

Eric (58:58):
Yeah. And, honestly, that did that helped actually too.
Like, Nat, like, you know, itused to be where I would spend,
like, quite a bit of time. Andand this is actually probably
still good to do. I just don'tnecessarily as much anymore.
So maybe this is a little bit ofa a backslide in terms of, like,
commercial quality, I suppose.But I used to spend a lot more
time on on commercials, so Icould, like

Crystal (59:18):
Preparation.

Eric (59:18):
Preparation, get a relation. And I'd be super
nervous throughout it and suchtoo. But now I'm doing, like, VP
work. So in the meeting, I'mthen I'm like, oh, my my
commercial's going on. I justkind of go and say something or
whatever whatever it is.
But I don't have that that thatthat anxiety like I like I used
to. And I think a lot of thatjust just takes what comes with,

(59:40):
with just experience in buildingbuilding the muscle. That being
said, you should still prepprepare for for these things.
You can, you know, to kinda likelike the strategy behind
developing a, a commercial anddeveloping what your ask is and
such too. Being specific.
Being specific. Yeah.

Dan Whaley (59:55):
And Something that I always, try to prepare for is is
a quote that someone told mewhenever I'm, like, doing some
sort of marketing is join theconversation in their head and
then finish the sentence. So ifyou can, like, whatever you're
doing, if you can, you know,join the conversation and the
person that you're speakingabout, if you can join their

(01:00:16):
conversation there becausethey're telling themselves
something. That's probably whyEric got the trophy during a
commercial where he didn't feellike it was the best commercial
because the trophy, you know,the, whoever picked you for the
trophy was probably goingthrough something and you spoke
about whatever it is that theywere thinking about.

Eric (01:00:32):
Oh, that's that's a huge part of it, dude. The the timing
of it too.

Dan Whaley (01:00:35):
Yeah. And then you finish the sentence. You're
like, if you feel this way,like, I do feel that way, then
you should do x, y, and z. Andthey're like, oh my gosh. That's
exactly what I needed to heartoday.
I'm gonna give the trophy toEric. So join the conversation
in their head and then finishthe sentence. And I think
that's, like, one of the bestmarketing strategies that you
can that you can have for yourcommercials.

Crystal (01:00:54):
It's called mirroring, and we actually have mirror
neurons. So it's interestingbecause if you watch people and
if you sit like like coachessitting the same way I'm sitting
right now, sometimes there'ssubtle body languages where if
you want someone to feelcomfortable around you, copy
their body language.

Eric (01:01:12):
Mhmm.

Crystal (01:01:12):
That's it's it's making if they're talking in a certain
tone, match the tone. Like,there's certain ways that we
can, yeah, make people

go in That's so funny that you say that because
I was just talking to, I forgetwho it was, but it's a it was a
new member, and they were goingthrough, like, the training,
like, the, I forget what it wascalled, but every new member has
to do, like, the

Eric (01:01:32):
The MSP?

The MSP training. And some of the training was I
did mine online. Mhmm. So someof the training was if you see,
like, how to approach people ina networking event.

Eric (01:01:43):
And if

you see someone that's arms crossed, you know,
and they're directly facing theother person and the other
person has their arms crossed,that's not a conversation that
you want to go and andinterrupt. Oh, I thought

Eric (01:01:54):
you were about to say you should go up there and go across
your arms.

I'm crossing. I know. You start looking there in
the eye.

Eric (01:01:58):
I know. Yeah. Yeah.

But if you see someone that is, like, you know,
hands down, they're kind ofcambered, and they're talking to
someone else who's kind ofcambered, and they're, like,
leaving a space open, thenthat's a conversation that you
can go and kind of insert insertyourself in. And that's
something that I take notewhenever I'm going to a
networking event. I'm always theperson that'd be like, okay.

(01:02:20):
They look like they're prettyserious right now. Like, I'm not
gonna be like, hey, I'm

Eric (01:02:24):
Dan. You know? And, like, go up

there and, you know, like, interject. But if someone
is, like, you know, kind ofleaning on their chair and they
kinda feel like they're, like,opening the scene, then, like,
okay, cool. Like, that's anopportunity that you can go and
introduce yourself becausethey're opening subconsciously,
right, through their bodylanguage, like Crystal was
saying. They're leaving thatdoor open for someone else to
come and join them.

Crystal (01:02:46):
Exactly.

And I think that was one of the most powerful things
that I learned through thattraining was just, like,
recognizing the conversation,recognizing the body language,
and then understanding what thatwhat that means. Mhmm. And
that's been powerful fornetworking because there's so
many times where I feel sonervous going to a networking
event that I know nobody there.And the first person the first

(01:03:08):
thing that I do is I look forI'm like, okay. Who can I make
friends with?
Like, where where's my, like,where's my,

Eric (01:03:16):
my guiding light? We're someone we're someone we're
someone that, I guess, you'relooking for who's gonna be an
easy person for me to initiallyconnect with.

Right.

Eric (01:03:25):
Like and you're kinda looking for that person. Yes.
And, you know, you can justkinda spot them.

Yes.

Eric (01:03:29):
Right? There's certain people I there I you know,
there's certain people that I'llsee for those, and then you'll
you'll just get a sense. Like,it seems like I could probably
connect with that person. No.That's a great, like, conscious,
like, strategy to do to kind ofyou know?
Because that that's been mynervousness all the time going
to new networking groups islike, I'm not gonna know anybody
and all that stuff too. And I'mlike, how do I start a

(01:03:51):
conversation

and all that stuff. Right? And it's what I found, as
soon as you find that person,one, your walls come down a
little bit, and then it allowsother people to recognize that,
okay. These two people arefriendly because they're having
laughs and conversation, andthey wanna be a part of that.
And then now you just openedyourself to invite other people

(01:04:12):
in, and then now you're shakinghands with maybe your next best
referral partner.

Eric (01:04:16):
Mhmm.

But that would have never have happened if you
didn't first read the bodylanguage. You'd be like, you. I
wanna talk to you, you know, andand go straight up to him and be
like, hey. I'm Dan. I go, whatdo you do?
You know? And it's so easy tojust ask that first question,
and then boom, now you're justin conversation.

Crystal (01:04:33):
Yeah.

You know? But it's that initial, like, reading the
room because there's so manytimes where you see people
closed off and you're like,nope, not them. And then you
look elsewhere, Oh, no. Notthem. And then now you're just
doing now you're just huggingthe wall.

Eric (01:04:44):
The lone wolf guy. And you know what? To kind of, like, tie
that back to kind of, like, ourearlier conversation at the
beginning of the episode too isif you show up if you're on that
the receiving end of somebodydoing what you're doing, like,
looking for somebody to toconnect with, but you show up
and and, you know, your armscrossed because you have you

(01:05:05):
know, you had a a bad morning.You didn't start you didn't
prepare enough. Right?
You show up. And now, you know,you don't necessarily know that
you're on that that receivingend, but maybe you would have
had somebody talk talk to you ifyou had a more positive
demeanor, I guess, about you.Right? And so that's why it's I
think that's why it's soimportant just to kind of

(01:05:25):
prepare everything, like, whatyour, I guess, what your next
day is gonna be or kind of startyour day off right, because it's
all gonna kind of it's like ait's it's like a snowball
effect, I guess. Right?
You started off and it kindajust kind of keeps building
throughout the whole day.

Crystal (01:05:41):
Either positive or negative. Yeah.

Eric (01:05:44):
Yeah. Both. It's it's it's like a negative snowball or a
positive snowball. Which one areyou gonna kinda choose? Right?

Yeah.

Eric (01:05:50):
And and so that's why it is it is, so important to kind
of open yourself up in that inthat way, in that positive
because no one really wants tokinda come up and talk to
somebody, especially a newperson.

Face. That's it. Yeah.

Eric (01:06:06):
Right. I mean, the perfect people that are gonna come come
up to you are gonna be, like,people that know you. But, like,
are you okay? Like, you'llyou're getting enough you're
getting enough strong negativevibes right now. So it's gonna
be someone who who who maybecares about you.
Right? And so but,

I actually I actually have a question on this
topic right now. So say you dothat. Say you have your morning
routine

Eric (01:06:27):
Mhmm.

You know, and and and your day is going great, and
then something happens, and thennow your day is going bad
because we're gonna have baddays. We can't we can't hide
from that. We can't run fromthat. So maybe my question is
for Crystal here. So say you'redoing that, right, and now
you're having a bad day, but yougot this networking event that
you need to go to tonight.
And you're sitting in your carand you're like, oh, man. I

(01:06:48):
don't wanna be here. I don'twanna go in there. Maybe I
should just leave. What can youdo in that moment?
For me, it's breath work. Youknow? Like, like, I need to get
myself back just centered. Isthere are there any tips for
someone that, you know, otherthan, like, take a couple deep
breaths? Everybody knows that.
What can you do if you're startyour day off good, you're doing

(01:07:09):
everything right, but, man, youjust really just had a bad day,
and you have somewhere to go,somewhere to be that requires
you to be positive mentalmentally, emotionally,
physically?

Crystal (01:07:22):
Great question. Loving it. So I guess I would kind of
reframe myself of, like, askingmyself what I was trying to
accomplish if I was in a goodmood. So say you're in that car
and you're wanting to go intothe meeting, but you're kind of
psyching yourself out.Definitely reminding yourself
what it is that you would liketo achieve when you met like,
obviously, you have a purposethat you want to go.

(01:07:44):
Is that purpose gonna outweighwhat's holding you back? So for
you, breathing seems to besomething that helps you. That
is a really good thing becauseyou're getting the oxygen to the
brain and really, like, openingup those neurons. But, crossing
your hands, like in prayer, andthen crossing your ankles and

(01:08:04):
taking three deep breaths willhelp actually sync up your left
and right hemisphere. And bydoing that, you're gonna get
your left and right componentsof your brain to have more
coherence.

Eric (01:08:15):
Mhmm.

Crystal (01:08:15):
So by doing that, it will actually allow you to be
feeling more like yourself, notfeeling quite as thrown off. And
then, that brain coherence whenyou do that, you're able to the
left and the right brain canactually speak to one another.
Because when we go throughstressful situations and we have
hardship in life, there's, ifyou've seen a brain, there's

(01:08:36):
like that butt crack down themiddle. Mhmm. There's a really
thick nerve ending group calledthe corpus callosum.
Over stress, time, age,traumatic experiences, that
actually gets, like, really hardand rigid. So when you have that
hard, rigid, component there,that means that the left and
right part of your brain aren'tactually talking to one another.

(01:08:59):
So going into that relaxed stateof breathing or that relaxed
state where you've got yourhands crossed, it will get that
to open up. So then you canactually kind of ask yourself,
okay. Now that I'm, like,recalibrated, what do I wanna
achieve?
Is it worth my time and effort?And like both of you said, most
of the time, when you push pastit, you're like, oh, there was a

(01:09:20):
reason why.

Eric (01:09:21):
Mhmm.

Crystal (01:09:21):
Like, I really like, there was a gem behind what was
holding me back. If I didn't go,I would have really missed out.

Mhmm.

Crystal (01:09:27):
So And you know alignment.

Eric (01:09:29):
And starting your day off in a in a in a proper way, like
like, writing the what whatyou're grateful for, I think
those things help you throughthose moments later on in the
day. Or you started your if youyeah. It's an anchor for the
rest of the day. Mhmm. And so itit makes doing those those
things and overcoming thosethings, or those moments later

(01:09:50):
on in the day easier or easierto place yourself to take those
breaths, to consciously taketake those those rests.
Or maybe, you know, if youshowed up, you really didn't
wanna go. If you didn't startyour day off good, you might
just you know what? Forget it.Screw it. I'm gonna head back
home.

Crystal (01:10:03):
Yep.

Eric (01:10:03):
Right? And then but if you did start off your day off day
off right now, you can maybeovercome that a better. So I
think that's I think that's oneof the reasons it's it's so
important to start your day off,in in that that personal self
development, whatever that kindof looks like for you. Maybe
it's working out for somepeople. I don't know.
Whatever that might be.

Crystal (01:10:20):
Heard about, like, having a morning routine until I
was an adult. I know I didn'tgrow up in an environment where
I really I guess my stepdad didhave a morning routine. I just
didn't really realize it until,you know, as an adult, you're
like

Eric (01:10:31):
No one talks to you.

Crystal (01:10:33):
You become more purposeful

Eric (01:10:34):
Yeah.

Crystal (01:10:34):
In in your life.

Yeah. My morning routine as a child was wake up
and rush out the door. Yeah.That's all I ever knew was,
like, oh my god. We're late forschool, this, that, and then
it's, like, my day alwaysstarted with stress.
Uh-huh. And it was alwaysstarting, like, up here, high
octane. Like, you get to schooland, like, you're you're
sweating, you know, and, like,yeah.

Eric (01:10:55):
Well, that's why I ditched, you know, like, alarm
alarms. I'm very particular withmy alarm clocks because they
I'm, like, if it's it needs tostart quiet and gentle. If it's
like a blaring thing, oh, boy. Iam gonna smash that thing
because I'm gonna be pissed off.

Crystal (01:11:11):
Oh, no. Welcome to fatherhood coming out.

Eric (01:11:15):
Well, yeah. See, the difference the difference on
that the difference on that isI'm, like, mentally preparing
myself now. Right.

And You'll have purpose.

Eric (01:11:26):
Right. Exactly. And and, you know, with, like, an alarm
clock is is, is, you know, it'slike, I just need wanna make
sure that I wake up. I do notwanna I don't need this if it
can be avoided. If it can beavoided, give me the the the
peaceful the peaceful full wakeup.
Yes.

Crystal (01:11:46):
We're gonna program you whenever you hear a baby cry,
then it's like, oh, love.

Eric (01:11:49):
Yeah. Love. Yeah. Amazing. The love language.
Liar. I love it. But, yeah.Well, this has this has been a
really fun episode. This Yeah.
I think, you know, all thesethings are very, like, I think,
foundational stuff for, thatPersonal success as well as

(01:12:11):
business success. Uh-huh.Personal success.

And not just new b I think we've I think we've talked
a lot about new BNI memberstoday, but this goes for

Eric (01:12:20):
Yeah.

Tenured BNI members as well. You know? Even the
veterans, you know, fifteenyears into the game, like, we
They're

Crystal (01:12:28):
seasoned folks. Yeah. We

have Right.

Crystal (01:12:29):
17 year old or seventeen years that

Veterans. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, this is like
there's steps for everybody, youknow? And and, if you practice
it, you stay prepared, and youhave a great mental outlook, you
stay positive, and and, youknow, ground yourself in purpose
Mhmm.
You're you're gonna be justfine.

Eric (01:12:50):
Yeah. Well, so, with that said, Dan, if if somebody wanted
to get in get in contact withyou, how would they best do
that?

Yeah. So the best way would be through social
media. I'm on every platform,Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook,
TikTok, and that would be coachDan Whaley, across all
platforms. Or you can justsearch my my name, Dan Whaley, w
h a l e y. Or if you don't haveany social media, which some

(01:13:20):
people don't, I I I I valuethat.
That's amazing. You can emailme, coachdanwhaley@gmail.com.

Crystal (01:13:29):
Or you don't just live?

Yeah. So Thrive Coaching Academy is our business
and our tagline, where you don'tjust live, you thrive. You
thrive.

Eric (01:13:38):
Nice. That's right. Nice. Wow. So if you are listening to
this episode and and you feelinspired, from this episode,
maybe you I, would be shocked ifyou don't know somebody who is
maybe in some self sabotage oris, they're they're not maybe
you kinda just get a sensethey're not that well

(01:13:59):
disciplined and and they need tosee you.
Maybe it's a biz it's a b and Ifellow b and I member. Send them
this, this podcast episode. Ithink it's something that could,
really help them get alignment.And, you know, this is how we we
share we grow the show, and thisis how we, you know, help our
fellow BNI members is helping,educate them in whatever way

(01:14:21):
that they need they need helpwith. And so, yeah, share that
share this episode with them.
I think they'll be verygrateful. Well and this, will
conclude this episode. And sothank you guys so much for
listening, and we'll we'll seeyou in the next episode.

Crystal (01:14:37):
Don't forget to log your single CEU. See you next
time. Thank you for joining usfor the Business Boost Hour. My
name is Crystal Pravitt, andthis is Eric Beals. Thank you
for joining us, and don't forgetto document your single CEU.
See you next time.

See you

Eric (01:14:53):
in the next episode.

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