4. Mastering Communication for Business Growth with Julie Litchfield

Episode Transcript
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Crystal Privett (00:08):
How crucial is effective communication in your
business endeavors? It goesbeyond just speaking clearly.
It's about mastering the art ofconveying your message with
impact. In this episode, weexplore the nuances of powerful
communication and why it'sindispensable for your business
growth. Tune in to learn how toelevate your communication

(00:32):
skills and transform yourprofessional interactions.

Eric Beels (00:38):
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Business Boost
Hour podcast. My name is EricBeals.

This is The Single CEU podcast. My name is
Crystal Pravette, and I'm heretoday with Julie Litchfield.

Julie Litchfield (00:52):
Hello.

Eric Beels (00:53):
Hi, Julie.

How are you guys? Great. Thank you for
joining us. Yeah.

Thank you for having me.

Eric Beels (00:58):
I'm so stoked to have you on this. And so, today,
we wanted to talk aboutcommunication. And but before we
get into that, I wanted, so tellus a little bit about yourself,
like, who you are, what you do.And, I know you came up with the
idea of communication. So tellus a little bit about, like,

(01:20):
what what why you wanted to talkabout that.
And, but first, just gonna tellus a little bit about yourself.

About myself? That's a loaded question.

Well, we know you're amazing.

Well, that's so sweet. I definitely don't
make myself amazing. That's it'sit's who I surround myself with
and whom I who I'm around allthe time. But, I am a wife, a
mom of 4. I am an entrepreneur.
I'm in health, so I absolutelylove everything that is that
revolves around health. And forme, that was communication.

(01:51):
Communication does revolvearound health. But communication
was key in my life, like,growing up. So we had a point in
our family where we weren'tcommunicating well.
And I don't need to say my age,but it's probably pretty
obvious. But back in the day,therapy wasn't something you
talked about.

Eric Beels (02:09):
Yeah.

And my mom was like, no. We're gonna do this.
We're gonna go to therapy, andwe're gonna learn how to
communicate with each other. Andthat's where communication
became so huge in my life. Wesat through therapy, the 5 of
us, and then we each hadindividual things.
And we would fight all the waydown to therapy and laugh all
the way home. And still to thisday, we laugh about different

(02:31):
things that we learned in thosesessions, and it it seriously
has stuck with me through mylife to the point of how
important it really is in everyaspect of of life, in our in our
spiritual life, in ourmarriages, in our relationships
with friends, in ourrelationship with coworkers.
It's it changes how you do life.Mhmm.

So How progressive of your mom to be
forward thinking enough to toset you guys up for success
mentally?

Whenever I tell that story, that's what
everybody says, and it was sucha taboo thing to say. I remember
I remember one time, I don'teven I don't remember where we
were, but it was one of my mom'sfriends, and she's like, you
guys are in therapy? Mom's like,yep. She said, I kinda want my
family to stay together. And I Iremember looking at her
thinking, what's the big deal?

(03:18):
Like, what's the big deal aboutthis? Like, why is why is
everyone making such a big deal?Because it was really hush-hush,
and you didn't talk about

it. Major stigma.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of where it started
for me.

Eric Beels (03:29):
Yeah. No. That that you know, I I'm kind of in a
similar boat as you actuallywhere you are kind of like,
what's the the taboo aspect? Andand, and because I, I'm grateful
enough that I I grew up in afamily where we did, like, talk
about things. We never went totherapy.
We didn't do anything like that,But I don't know. We we all in

(03:50):
my family, we always, we we weactually developed a phrase at
one point where and and that wasto say, saying, I'm sorry, I was
wrong. Would you please forgiveme? And that and that has been
an extremely helpful phrasethat, you know, whenever anytime

(04:12):
there was some kind of issue,getting some kind of fight or
whatever, you know, you go awayfor 30 minutes, and then you
kind of feel bad a little bit.And, you know, instead of, like,
you know, stuffing it under the,you know, the your own skeleton
closet or whatever, kind of gowe we would always kinda go go

(04:32):
back out to each other and thensay, hey.
I'm sorry. I was wrong. Wouldyou please forgive me? I
shouldn't have said that, or Ishouldn't have reacted that way.
And I don't know.
It is I kind of grew up withthat with with doing that. I
don't remember exactly when wekind of started doing that. But
it was a very helpful, I guess,practice of, like, humility,

(04:55):
recognizing, you know, whenyou're in the wrong on on
everyone's sides as well too.And just recognizing, like,
okay, what did I do? And not I'mnot gonna, like, pull the blame,
but, like, you shouldn't havedone this or you shouldn't have
done that.
I really appreciate if youwould, you know, or whatever,
which is tempting to dosometimes, but just more like,
okay. What did I do wrong? Like,what what what maybe I maybe
said something wrong? Or at thevery least, maybe it was like,

(05:18):
hey. I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I don't know what I did, but I'msorry I was wrong. Would you
please forgive me on whatever Idid? That that whatever whatever
it was. I don't want you to feelbad. Right.
That sort of thing. And sosometimes it's just a mini
fault. Even if you don't feellike your fault you're at fault,
maybe you weren't. But, so

Have you heard of the haponono? I probably
butchered that.

Eric Beels (05:35):
The what? What did you say?

There's there's 4 phrases that are part of this,
like, big release, a way ofreleasing. And it's I love you,
please forgive me, I'm sorry,and thank you. And your mom had
3 of the 4 phrases Okay. Withinit. You probably did have thank
you, but you just Yeah.
But,

Eric Beels (05:52):
what were they again?

It's, I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive
me, and Thank you. Thank you.

Eric Beels (06:00):
Got it. Okay. Yeah. It's simple. Yeah.

It's very simple. Yeah.

Eric Beels (06:02):
Very simple.

But there's a whole, like, guideline on how to
use those, and they've shownscientifically that that process
allows people to not onlycommunicate, but to open up and
and to like you said, it took alittle while before your
stimulus.

Eric Beels (06:15):
The I love you one would be a good is a good one to
add. That that one wasn't partof, like, our phrase, but that
that probably should be good.Yeah. It's gonna be good.

Trying to show that you love them with

regular communication. It's giving you
tools. Mhmm. Yep. And whenyou're given tools, you're able
to communicate even moreeffectively.
Because when we're sometimeswhen we're left our own
recognizances, we're like, weblow up at each other or we
don't say things the right way.And when we're given specific
tools, you you go your braingoes back to those, okay. What
do I do first?

Especially those first few years.

Start the first one out. Okay. Now I go
down this path, and and that'sit definitely gave me tools for
the rest of my life. And, yes,have I changed the way I
communicate since then? Ofcourse.
I was in 7th grade. But itdefinitely brought us to a point
of being able to to pull outwherever we were at. Like, when
you get so heated or when youget so hurt or when you whenever

(07:03):
you're in that position, you cansay, okay. First of all,
breathe. And this is what Ireally meant by that.
Like, I'm sorry. You heard methe wrong way. Yep. But this is
what I really meant. And so it's

communication skills.

It's bringing that up, and that's something
that if you just choose not tocommunicate and, like you said,
throw it into your skeletoncloset, then things are just
gonna build and build and buildand get worse. So

Eric Beels (07:23):
Yep. Yep. So how have you that was so you you
kind of did all that in yourpersonal life. So how have you
applied that in business? Andhow, like, like, is it the same
would you say it's like the sameyou do use this exact same
process, or how what is allthat?

That's a great question. So in business, I
mean, like I said, through theyears, I I learned different
ways to communicate. I, wentthrough different trainings for
communication actually withdifferent businesses I've been
in in my life. I've been in alot of different businesses in
my life, and, I was lucky enoughto have training in different
ways of being able tocommunicate, of reading body
language, of differentpersonality styles, and really

(08:04):
learning that. But what whatreally comes down to me is is
truly listening.
A lot of communication has to dowith not talking at all.

Eric Beels (08:11):
Mhmm.

And so many people think when you say the
word communication, oh, that's alot of talking, And I'm really
good at a lot of talking. I cantalk and talk and talk and talk.
So I had to learn to not talk,and I had to learn to listen and
not listen to reply, but listento actually understand where the
person was coming from. Listento ask another question. And so,

(08:33):
for example, like, in BNI, in aone to 1, I never fails a brand
new one to 1 with someone.
I'm meeting with them for thefirst time ever. They're a brand
new member. They will say 45minutes in, oh my gosh. I've
been talking this whole time,and you haven't I'm like, no.
You haven't.
I've been asking a lot ofquestions. That, for me, when if
we get to that point, I'm soexcited. Like, that's exactly

(08:55):
what I wanted it to be because Ineed this is how I learn about
you. This is how I learn how Ican connect with you. This is
how I learn how you work Mhmm.
And how I learn where we havesomething in common and how I
can help you, but it also isgoing to build trust.

Yes.

It's gonna build rapport. It's gonna build
credibility. It's gonna buildwhat's the other word I'm
looking for? I just lost it, butit's it all comes together at
that point. And so it'slistening not to reply, but
listening to understand what theother person is saying.

It's such a great point. Like you said,
people, when they hear the wordcommunication, think of only
just speaking, but activelistening is really a superpower

Eric Beels (09:34):
to

be able to hear where people are coming from.
And I don't know about you guys,but I I feel like people are
craving being seen and heardmore than ever.

Right. And you can tell that when you're in a
conversation with somebody andthey're so excited. You can
almost see the wheels turning intheir head and they're so
excited to reply to you becausethey have a similar circumstance
or they have a similarsituation. There's nothing wrong
with communication like thateither. When we're sitting
around with our friends andeveryone's like, yes.
I happened to me. Yes. Ihappened to me. You know? And
you're having a

Eric Beels (10:02):
good

time together. That's different than it is in a
professional setting. And so Ithink when you slow down enough
to really listen to understandthat person, you're you're also
going to build that trust withthem as well too because they're
gonna get this feeling ofconnection with you.

Eric Beels (10:15):
Mhmm. Yeah. And, you you know, a good kind of example
of, like, why there's more thanjust, like, talking. It's a lot
of, like, in how you say stufftoo. Right?
So, like, if you like, if I if Iwere to if I were to say
something, like let's see. It'sif I were to if I were to say

(10:42):
what's a good example? Thinkingof like a tone like a like a
tonal based based example, andI'm blanking on one right now,
actually.

Almost condescending, like like that
kind of environment where theymight not feel comfortable to
open up because the way thatit's being said, not necessarily
how what it is being said.

Eric Beels (11:07):
Right. Like like, trying to think on something
like the a lot of a lot of itgoes into how you say something
and not necessarily what it isthat's

your

Eric Beels (11:17):
task that's being said. Right. And so and
basically, like, if you and andand that's a really important
aspect of your yourcommunication. I I know someone
who actually, and he was sayinghe used to be very, like,
aggressive when he would talk.And people were always, like,

(11:38):
put off by when you saysomething.
He's really had to, like, tonehimself back because he's like a
like a like a very, like, like,powerful guy sort of thing. And
so after he and then

So they had

Eric Beels (11:48):
to just after he, like, kind of, like, raise his
voice, like, up into his chest.Normally, people are talking
about, like, you know, lower toproject more and stuff. But it
actually in his case, it was theopposite. He had to kind of like
raise it up to kind of softeneverything that he was taught he
was saying, because he wasputting off people and people
weren't like, people like didn'twant to really work with him

(12:12):
because and so it's like thatlittle thing like, you know,
it's a kind of a case of a lotof people would like to work
with him, but they're like, Idon't know, just not vibing well
with him. I don't know.
And so then that's could be lostbusiness in that case.

Right? Correct.

Eric Beels (12:26):
And so,

The subtle nuances, the communication.

It's the body language, it's personality
styles, and and I'm I go rightinto, oh, he's a d personality
style. Like, that's the firstthing I think of because it's
someone that's forceful thatcomes forward and they wanna get
the job done and and they'reexcited. They're they have a
genuine heart. But when you seesomeone backing away from you,
literally, as you're speaking tothem, that's a great indicator.

(12:51):
Okay.
Bring it down.

Mhmm.

And even myself, I I can be very
extroverted at times, and I cancome on strong. Mhmm. I'm not a
deep personality, but I can comeon strong and realize this
person is moving further awayfrom me than closer, and then I
start to lower my voice, getquieter, and all of a sudden,
they come out more. And so youit's paying attention. It's
really just paying attention tothe other person, paying

(13:14):
attention to what they'resaying, paying attention to how
they're acting.
That's why it's so hard thesedays with text, and it used to
be email. It's not really emailanymore, but text and and social
media. We're not able to seesomeone's body language as much
and or how what we say affectsthem when we actually say it.

Eric Beels (13:32):
Mhmm. And sometimes, you know, sometimes it doesn't,
like, it doesn't, like, reflectthat person. I know some people
that are, like, feel like themost fun people and then
texting, I'm just like, are youthe same person? I mean, I'm
more of a

Are you upset this morning?

Eric Beels (13:44):
What happens? I know. And and I think a lot of
it's just a learning thing.Right? They're just not used to,
you know, maybe they're just notused to communicating their own
body language in text messages,which is a much harder thing to
do.

Right.

Eric Beels (13:58):
And, I mean, I kind of grew up with text messages.
So I think maybe the millennialsand Gen Z ers are kind of maybe
often a little bit more in tunewith being able to do that. I
don't know. But Like

a different text are much longer.

Yeah. It's like a different form of expression
almost. It is. Yeah. It is.

And it's learned. It's because when I
depending on if I'm texting withmy kids, it's a very interesting
text compared to Right.

Eric Beels (14:23):
If you add if you if you add 3 dots at the end of
something, you know something'swrong. Then it doesn't matter,
like, what the words are. Beforeyou add 3 dots, it's like, okay.
What's up? Yeah.
What's going on? You know? Andthen, if and it's it's funny
because it's just 3 dots. Right?Yeah.
There's a lot of communicationthat goes into just adding 3
dots into something on it.

There's a lot of communication that goes into
a lot on a text. Yeah.

Eric Beels (14:44):
The

lack of an emoji or an emoji, the, like,
the some other things. Yes.

Eric Beels (14:50):
It's that's really interesting actually because
it's like, suddenly you add onething at the end, like some
emoji. It's it totally switchesthe tone of the whole thing and
totally basically changes Yes.The the meaning behind the whole

But you're trying to communicate.

Eric Beels (15:06):
Yeah. So I know sometimes because I'm I'm one to
kind of add emojis and stuff toosometimes. I I think in the
past, I used to kind of likeoverdo that and such too. So
like, what what's kind of what'sthe threshold that like like, on
this? Like, maybe maybe I guessI'm I'm thinking about, like,

(15:26):
our our listeners here.
And, like, if somebody is reallykind of trying to work through
this and maybe they're let'smaybe going down the the text
and it emails is similar. It'slike the same thing. Right? What
what should people look for,like, when they're when they're
writing the email? What's what'smaybe a stepping stone for them
to kind of communicating whatthey're trying to communicate in

(15:47):
the message without maybe Iguess, maybe they're not maybe
maybe they won't overdo it, butwhat would what would be a good
stepping stone for them?

Right. I think it also depends on who you're
communicating with. So yourstyle is gonna change based on
who you're communicating with.If I'm communicating with, just
for example, a bunch of coaches

Eric Beels (16:06):
Mhmm.

Say sports coaches, I'm gonna bullet point
everything. I'm gonna get rightto the point. I'm gonna be clear
and concise. I'm not gonna putin fluff of any sort, and I will
probably put in 0 emojis.

Eric Beels (16:18):
Mhmm.

If I don't get their attention in the first
sentence, especially for asports coach, they're not gonna
read the rest of my email.

Eric Beels (16:26):
Mhmm.

Their purse as personnel and I'm not trying to
group in all coaches together.

Eric Beels (16:31):
Game plan all

those. I'm not trying to group in all coaches
together because all there aresome coaches that would probably
love to read lengthy emails.They're more of the personality
style of I'm gonna research andread every single thing you give
me.

Eric Beels (16:42):
Mhmm.

But the majority that get into that
business that are in that aredoing that for for a job, they
are more driven to the point ofget to your point.

Eric Beels (16:53):
Right.

I'm loving, but get to your point.

Eric Beels (16:56):
Mhmm.

And so that I would probably do it way
different for them than I woulddo it for potentially a lawyer.
Yeah. If I'm writing to a lawyerand I need to get something
across them, I will be extremelydetailed without bullet points,
and I will probably put headingsat the top of different things.
I probably wouldn't use emojiswith them either. Mhmm.
If I was emailing a teacher, I'dprobably use emojis. I would

(17:19):
probably be more bubbly in whatI'm doing depending on what what
grade they're teaching

Eric Beels (17:24):
Sure.

Too. So I think it really depends on who
you are talking

with. Your audience.

You have to know your audience.

Eric Beels (17:32):
You know, that I like that you brought that up
because I know one so and Ihaven't, like, thought of it,
but I realized what I dothinking on what you said on on
the person when when when Ireceive an email because the
hardest thing is when you whenyou receive an email from
somebody you don't know. It'slike a cold email that someone's
reaching

out to you. Mhmm.

Eric Beels (17:51):
And I've realized what I do is I kind of reflect a
little bit what their tone is.But I just kind of look at the
email, and I kind of just gaugethe the tone of the email, I
guess, and I kind of try torespond I kind of try to match
that. I don't know if that's theright thing to do, but I kind of
just try to match it because Idon't know the person at all.

(18:13):
I'm like, okay. I mean, should Ibe more is the person like
looking for somebody more bubblynecessarily?
I'm not really sure. But I tryto kind of match the tone. Is
that the right thing to do withthat?

Or I believe it definitely is when you don't
know the person. If if yourespond with, you know, 10
exclamation points behindsomething, they haven't used any
type of emotion in their emailat all. They may be like, are
they upset with me? They youthey you could be emailing my
oldest sister, which everysingle time for fun, I would use
a bunch of because it wasemailing your sister. Mhmm.
And I'd email with a bunch ofexclamation points like this

(18:50):
happened. Like, I'm excited. Shegoes, are you mad? I said, no.

Eric Beels (18:55):
Why would

you think I was mad? Well, you used all the
exclamation points. I'm like,did you get taught in school to
use an exclamation point whenyou're mad? Yes. Like, all the
sentences were and they wereupset.
Exclamation

point. Was different.

I said, I was taught to use it when I'm
excited. So I would definitelymatch the person

Eric Beels (19:11):
and

match their email until you have an
opportunity to get on the phonewith them, until you have an
opportunity to see them inperson or Zoom with them,
however it is that you're gonnabe that you can actually ask
them more questions and learnmore about them to understand
who they are and if they do wantyou to be more bubbly. But we
also wanna be ourselves too.We're not gonna we need to be
ourselves, but we even need tobe ourselves with a little bit

(19:33):
more extra if someone's lookingfor that, meaning, like, oh, can
you be more bubbly? Well, thisis about as bubbly as I get.

Eric Beels (19:42):
And I

will be that for you, but I'm still gonna be
myself. I'm not gonna changemyself for you.

Authenticity is so important.

Yeah. Be authentically you.

Yeah. I have a question because you've been in
BNI for a while now. Yes. Andyou were once president.

In fact,

you were the last acting female president
since I was, since I'm takingover. So what have you seen
change in BNI as far ascommunication styles in your
longevity?

Wow. That's a good question. It's been 10
years. So definitely differenceswith more women being in the
group. So when I first started,I think I was number 5, and our
group was about 35

Eric Beels (20:25):
Mhmm.

At the time. So 30 men, 5 women. The
communication was verydifferent.

Yep.

The more women you get in a room, it's gonna
change the way that everyonecommunicates. Funny jokes that
maybe were set out in a in inthe middle of it that and all of
a sudden, they'd look around,they'd look to the 5 of us and
see, oh, you know, it getcaught. And it never I never
picked up a fence by it. It's itwas them learning how to react

(20:51):
with more women coming in thegroup, and all of a sudden, we
had 15 women in the group. Andit definitely changes the way
people communicate with eachother.
So if anything, that's whereI've seen the major differences
is when our group ebb is like anebb and flow with the women and
the men in the group and howmany we have and how many we
have in leadership Yeah. And howmany we have in membership
community, how many who's onvisitor host. It it makes that's

(21:13):
what's gonna change thecommunicate the communication
within our group as well too andhow the leadership team
communicates with the group.We've had leadership teams that
communicated well during ourmeetings, especially when we
were in person every week. Theythey communicated very well, but
then they didn't communicateoutside of the group.

(21:35):
So not receiving any informationon things. And then we have some
that maybe didn't communicate aswell during the meeting, but
communicated amazing, you know,through email, through other
things outside of our meetings.And so those are the different
ebbs and flows that you seethrough the years, but the
biggest thing would be when wehave more women or less women in
our group. That's that's whereI've seen major differences.

(21:56):
Mhmm.

Eric Beels (21:57):
Yeah. Yeah. The it's it's so interesting. I could I
just kind of, like, thought oftoo, like, when I watch movies
and a lot of and this when Ifeel like a lot of modern movies
don't have this problem as muchanymore, but a lot of, like,

(22:18):
older conflict causes were justdue to lack of communication
between, like, the protagonists.So, like, someone gets stuck in
a thing.
Why? Well, because you didn'ttell them of this, and you had
every opportunity to do so, andyou never said anything. And
I've stopped watching shows thatjust was, like, all purely a
communication issue. And I'mjust like like like all the

(22:39):
conflicts happening becausethere's the people that are on
the same side aren't talking toeach other. I'm like, this is
really obvious to me.
I'm just like, tell mesomething.

They're showing you all the parts and
where the other people aren'tinvolved in all the parts and so
you can see the break the wholetime.

Eric Beels (22:53):
And so and and it's so funny because, like, it the
same thing could happen inbusiness as well too at, like
like, in in leadership. It'slike all these issues are
happening because you're justnot talking. And and all these
things are essentially solved byby communicating, these things.

(23:13):
And so for me, I'm not the bestat responding to text messages
as much as I should be. And soit's funny because a lot of
people will end up like, hey,Eric hasn't responded to, you
know, and text Amber orwhatever.
And she's a little bit better atthat than I am. It's something
I'm working on. I've I've I'vedone some, like, reprograms

(23:33):
before trying to you know, tokind of help help help with
that. And I think one of thethings is too, sometimes I never
quite feel like I'm I'm readysometimes to respond because I'm
like, okay. I'm gonna start aconversation.
I'm ready to talk. I'm, like,thinking of all these things,
and maybe I'm thinking too much.Like going yeah. Right. Okay.
I'm gonna if I send thismessage, then I'm gonna start a
conversation. I'm not ready tostart a conversation right now.

(23:55):
And then later on, oh, it's toolate. And then I basically,
like, it's like excuse afterexcuse after excuse.

And Communication parallelization.

Eric Beels (24:05):
Yeah. Kinda. Yeah. That's it's kind of what what,
what what happens.

It's more common than you think. A lot of
times with emails or people gettoo many phone calls, it's just
like they don't wear

Eric Beels (24:16):
it anymore. Emails. I've and it's like, am I
getting, like, massivelystressed out over it? And then
it's like a week or 2 weeks goby, and I'm just like You

could have figured it.

Eric Beels (24:26):
Like, always, like, in the back of my head, kinda
just, like, poking me a littlebit, and I'm just like and I'm
getting stressed. And I'm like,Eric, just send the stupid
email. Like, I know what I needto do.

Mhmm.

Eric Beels (24:35):
It's not sometimes it's not even complicated email.
And so I guess my question on onthis, do you, I mean, first, I
don't know if this does does doyou relate to that at all?

I do relate to it. So first and foremost, do
you have an Apple or an Android?

Eric Beels (24:51):
I have an Apple.

Okay. Get an Android because you can
schedule, send texts. It'sbeautiful. And then you don't
have to start that conversation.I do

Eric Beels (24:58):
that with emails. So

I've said to all my friends are like,
everything in my house is a Mac,everything, except my phone. And
everyone's like, Julie, why haveyou not got an Apple phone? Your
whole family has an Apple phone?I said, until Apple can figure
out how to so this is to Apple.Until Apple can figure out how
to schedule send a text, I'm notswitching over because that has
saved Yeah.
Me big time. I will start I'mnot ready to have the

(25:22):
conversation that night, but Ihave a lot of thoughts in my
head. So I will put it out, andI'll put the text to them, and
I'll schedule send it for thenext morning to go. And then all
of a sudden, I'll be gettingready, and I'm like, oh, oh,
they sent me oh, yeah. Schedulesend that.

Eric Beels (25:32):
Mhmm. I mean, that's why I have the calendar thing
for for, like, do it Right. Forhaving people on this. Then Be I
it'd be it'd be ridiculoustrying to, you know, pour

you into

Eric Beels (25:42):
a savings.

So But see, I don't want you to stop. This
that's you. So, yes, can we bebetter? Can we improve
ourselves? Can we fix things?
I am the biggest procrastinatorin the world. I am. And for
years, I thought it was such aweakness. I would write my
research papers for college thenight before. I did all my
research for it months before,but the actual full on paper

(26:02):
didn't get written till thenight before.
But if I did write it 3 weeks inadvance, I'd end up getting a
worse grade than what I got thenight before because I cut out
all the fluff. Procrastinationcan actually be a strength, and
we need to see it as thatbecause you actually get to the
point and get to what you need.So you procrastinate on emails
sometimes can be a problem.

Eric Beels (26:21):
Mhmm.

Other times, it might be a good thing. Same
thing with text messages. We aretoo quick to communicate. So
let's say late at night, someonesends you a text, and you're
like, okay. Well, I should getback to them.
So you send that, and then allof a sudden, this long
conversation starts out, and youend up saying things you
probably didn't wanna say. Mhmm.So it would have been better if
you would have just waited untilthe morning to do it or the next
day or 2 days from them. Butwe're so quick with wanting to

(26:45):
communicate right away witheverybody because we live in
such a

Instant.

How can I say this? It is a very high
communicative world that we livein right now, yet it feels like
no one's communicating.

Eric Beels (26:55):
Does that

make any sense?

Eric Beels (26:56):
Yeah.

So we're

Eric Beels (26:57):
Well, it's like social media. It's supposed to
be social. Yeah.

It's like concrete, black, black, black,
white, and to a 1000000 thingsout once. Yeah. But what are we
actually communicating? Becauseall of a sudden, it feels like
we haven't talked to anybody,and we haven't actually had a
real conversation, but we havesent millions of messages out to
everybody.

Eric Beels (27:15):
Mhmm.

And so I think it's better that you do wait a
little bit Mhmm. Until you dohave the time to communicate and
to actually say what you want tosay to somebody. I don't think
that's an issue.

Or communicate that you will talk to them in
the morning.

Or answer back That's

Eric Beels (27:29):
that's a good one actually too.

Answer back and say, hey. This is a, yes, we
can talk about this and say, I'malready shut down for the night.
I will get back to you tomorrowon this.

Eric Beels (27:39):
Mhmm.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Eric Beels (27:40):
Yeah.

And that's the one thing I have told my kids
over and over again because theywould we had the rule in our
house that the phones had to beout in the kit. We don't have
our phones in our bedrooms. I'mlike, there's no need. Like, why
do you need your phone

Eric Beels (27:51):
in your room?

You don't it's past 9 o'clock at night unless
you're doing homework, you know,with a group, and it's 10 or 11,
and you're still doing I'm yes.Be on your phone in your room.
It's fine. Leave it out in thekitchen when you're done. You
don't need it beeping at you allnight long, or they felt the
need to, like, respondimmediately.
I said, unless it's anemergency, you do not need to
respond immediately.

It's great advice

because sometimes we say something that
we're not supposed to say whenwe respond immediately. It's
like the old count to 10 when mymom would say I was so annoyed
by that when I was little countto 10, Julie, before you make
your response. You know? Becauseyou spout out something, and
she's like, you're always gonnasay the wrong thing when you're

Eric Beels (28:29):
Mhmm.

Upset or tired, especially when we're
tired and we haven't had enoughsleep or we've had a stressful
day. We're gonna say the wrongthing.

Eric Beels (28:36):
Mhmm. Well, also to whatever moment it's in as well
too. Like, because I I I knowsomeone Right. This kind of this
kind of, like, drives me crazybecause so I know a lot of
people when the phone rings,it's like they're like, I gotta
answer it right now. And and I'mjust like, why?
I was like, you don't even knowwho's calling sometimes. And I'm
just like, okay. Just send it tovoice mail or whatever. If it's

(28:56):
someone who wants work, they'llleave a and they really want to,
they'll leave a message orwhatever. Right?
Unless you're like a, you know,unless you're in some, like
maybe I know there's certainemergency based businesses. I
understand. That's different.Yeah.

You're a brain surgeon and you're on call.

We have we we step your phone.

Eric Beels (29:14):
I need brain surgery.

We allow for grace.

Eric Beels (29:16):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And and and but, but I've
always kind of felt like thatwas kind of an unhealthy thing
because sometimes it's maybeyou're having dinner with family
and then someone's someone'scalling.
Maybe it's, you know, if it's anemergency, that's different. But
if it's just like, hey. Someonehas a business question or
something like that, you know,or and it's not really needs to

(29:36):
be in there right now, they'rejust checking to see, they'd be
fine with you not answering.I've had someone that actually,
I I answered and they go, oh, Iwasn't expecting you to pick up.
I was gonna leave a voicevoicemail because they because
it was maybe a weird time.

And it was fine for me. Yeah.

Eric Beels (29:53):
And it was totally fine for me to answer. And they
were a bit, like, surprised,honestly. So there was an ask
and that, you know, that waskind of funny

because Like a communication boundary.

Eric Beels (30:02):
Yeah. They were like, they like knew that they
were like, like, calling it allthe time. They weren't they were
like expecting me to hit no andjust send it to voicemail
because they just want to leavea voicemail. Yeah. And so what
are I mean, there's those are Ithink those are probably some
healthy boundaries.
It's kind of like limiting thosetimes.

Definitely.

Eric Beels (30:22):
But are there what are some other things that

Like communication tips or what you
like their audience to walk awayabout learning about
communication.

I think the biggest thing when it comes to
communication, again, going backto if you're in person with
someone, talking less, learningto talk less. If you a lot of us
just, like you said, wanna beheard. There's a way to be heard
without talking. It's prettyamazing. And when you stop
talking for a little while andreally truly listen to somebody,

(30:56):
you can walk away with so muchmore than if you would have been
talking the whole time.
As far as phone goes, I have alot of things around the phone,
probably because I have 4 kids,and we had to have we were,
like, the worst parents on theworld because we didn't get them
their phones until they were 13years old. And they had friends
with phones at 10 and 9. And I'mlike, first of all, you're in
elementary school. You don'tneed a phone in elementary

(31:17):
school. Who are you gonna call?
You're not. It's me or dad. Youknow? So it's not gonna happen.
But like I said, we live in aworld right now where where
someone does have their phonewith them.
Yes. If they're a brain surgeon,please have their phone with you
if you're on call. We want youto answer your phone. But how do
you feel when someone comes tothe dinner table with you and
pass their phone? It's for me,it's not a good feeling.

Eric Beels (31:40):
Mhmm. I don't

think they're gonna communicate with me well.
I have gone to business lunchesor I've gone to lunch with a
friend, and I've said pointblank, you know, no one's gonna
be calling me because he'sgetting done with sports, and he
we we got messed up with ourdriving tonight or whatever. I'm
gonna put my phone down, but ifit rings, I'm telling you now
I'm gonna have to answer it.Other than that, I'm not gonna
put bring my phone out of mypurse. I'm gonna leave it in my

(32:01):
purse.
I don't like it even if someoneturns it over. Well, I'm turning
it over, but it's still there,and you can still answer it. And
that's the thing is, you know,answering the phone right away
when someone calls, unless it'san emergency, that's what voice
mail is for. Right. And most ofthe time, if we looked at a
phone you know, most time, if itis an emergency, they call back

(32:22):
again and again and again.
So if my phone's in my person, Ican feel it vibrating 3 and 4
and 5 times. I'm like, oh, okay.There's something going on. I
probably should check to seewhat's happening. But it's it's
really paying attention to theperson sitting in front of you.
And if you are planning tocommunicate with the person
sitting in front of you, thendon't have any distractions.
Don't have anything else aroundyou that's gonna take you away

(32:44):
from them because part ofcommunication is building that
trust

Eric Beels (32:48):
Mhmm.

Building that goodwill with them, building a
relationship with them.

Eric Beels (32:52):
Mhmm. And

if you can't build a relationship and pay
attention to this and payattention to that and pay
attention to them Mhmm. All atthe same time.

Eric Beels (32:59):
Right. Right. And what and and if you don't do
those things, like, what they'rethey're probably not gonna hire
you. You know? Right.
Right? So so

Right.

Eric Beels (33:06):
Gonna time that kind of those aspects back to the
business aspects of things.Like, you if you're having a
meeting with someone and thenyou get a call, what does that
kinda tell to that person?Especially if it's, like, you
know, especially if it's maybeit's it's probably maybe not the
first meeting or whatever if youfeel comfortable enough
answering a phone call in frontof, like, somebody else. But
then if, like, you know, buteven if it's, like, the second

(33:29):
or third meeting, like, youstill have a business
relationship with them, andthey're gonna be like, what? I'm
I'm trying to, like, you know,work with this person and such
too.
Right? They're not gonna they'rethey're they're they're gonna
lose that lack of trust in you.

Because your mind's in a a 1000000 different
places.

Eric Beels (33:45):
Right.

There is and I'm probably going to get in so
much trouble for this. There'sno such thing as multitasking. I
know growing up, we were taughtto multitask, especially as
moms. I thought multitask. Youcan do this.
You can do all these things atonce.

Eric Beels (33:58):
That isn't true?

So First thing ever. Because you're giving 20%
to this, 20% to this, 20% tothis. You're not, like again,
you're not giving a 100% of yourtime to the person sitting in
front of you. And it does. It itis telling the other person,
wow.
So I'm spending money with you,or I'm putting my trust in your

(34:20):
company, in your what you do tohelp me

And you're showing up for someone else.

And you're showing up for someone else
that's also paying you,potentially, but then you're not
giving that person undividedattention either because you've
got the

Eric Beels (34:32):
other person either person justice.

You're not doing either person justice at
that point. So It's

Eric Beels (34:36):
all, like, losing, basically. There's no winning
with that. You're not like, oh,2 birds with 1 stone sort of
thing.

I can

Eric Beels (34:41):
take you know? No. Mhmm. Yeah.

So no more multitasking. Mhmm. Yeah.

I love what you said about communication as well
as, like, listening to someoneand, you know, like, a one to
one really letting them havehave their Yes. Story and have
their moment. Because whatpeople oftentimes will walk away
in these conversations fromtheir walk away is not
necessarily how much I got out,but, like, wow. I got to tell
that story that I haven't toldsomeone in 12 years, or she

(35:08):
listened to me enough to where Icould open up to explain
something that maybe I didn'texplain to anyone. So, really,
the walking away part for theother person about being heard,
I think that's so invaluable inbusiness.
It's It's huge. I know you excelat that because people do feel
comfortable around you and as,in your health, practice as well

(35:31):
as just, you know, being a partof BNI and knowing that if
there's an issue, they canoftentimes come to you to
communicate things because theyknow you're a great sounding
board because you'll listen, butalso give authentic advice.

Yes. That helps. The empathy is my number
one strength. But, again, I usedto think that was a weakness too
growing up because I didn'tunderstand how to use it the
right way.

Eric Beels (35:52):
Empathy?

Empathy. But you don't have to have empathy
to be a good listener. You cananybody can train in being a
good listener and understand howto ask the next question.

Eric Beels (36:02):
Mhmm.

And it's typically based off of whatever
they're telling you at thatpoint. You're trying to
understand what they're tellingyou, and you can easily identify
another question to ask. Mhmm.

Eric Beels (36:12):
Well, how

did that go for you, and where did you go
from there? Mhmm. And then didyou move from there? I mean,
it's very simple for us tocontinue asking questions where
they think that we're doing alot of talking because we're
doing asking a lot of questions.And in the end, like I said, 45
minutes, you know, we typicallydo an hour for a 1 to 1.
Right? 45 minutes go by, andthey will say and that's my
favorite part. Like I saidbefore, when they say, you have

(36:32):
I haven't learned anything aboutyou yet. And I said, that's
okay. That's we can do it inanother one to 1.
Mhmm. And it's it's exactlythat. They walk away feeling
heard. They walk away feelinglike, wow, she's really getting
to know me. Mhmm.
Because guess what? You're gonnaget to know me at some point.
I'm not worried about that partof it, and it's gonna come back
to me too. You know? So it'sit's Givers gain in action.

(36:54):
Givers gain in action. Yeah.Givers gain in action. It's it's
also showing them how to do aone to one in the beginning
because a lot of times peopleright away get in. Well, this is
what I do for business, and thisis how it goes.
And trying to sound as nice aspossible. And I don't wanna pick
a profession that we have in ourin our group right now. We don't
have a CPA right now. So if Iknow I'm not saying I know what

(37:15):
a CPA does. My sister's a CPA,so I I can kinda say I know what
they do.
But I wanna know about them.Mhmm. I wanna learn about who
they are. What makes them tick?Like, yes, I wanna learn about
their business, and I wannalearn about their sphere, and I
wanna learn about all thesethings.
And that can be in our secondand our third one to 1. That can
be in the commercials. I willlearn that in your 30 seconds as

(37:37):
well. We'll teach you how to bereally specific. Mhmm.

Great.

But we we we can learn that then, but I don't
get to learn about who you arein 30 seconds.

Eric Beels (37:43):
Mhmm. Mhmm.

So tell me about who you are in our one to
1 because once you tell me aboutwho you are, I can figure you
out to understand what kind ofclients you want. Even though it
might be a I may go into a oneto 1 thinking, we have nothing
in common. I've gone into Idon't can't even count anymore
how many one to ones I think Ihave nothing in common with
them, and I have to laugh aboutit before. I'm like, oh, I know

(38:04):
there's gonna be somethinggreat. When I think I have
nothing in common with someone,once I ask a bunch of questions,
bam, we have, like, moreconnection than someone else
that I would think Mhmm.
That we have everything incommon with.

That's always so neat to see the human aspect
of where we can relate somelevel with anybody if we try

to help. Anybody. So

Eric Beels (38:26):
I've been in situations where I'll be in like
a one to 1, and it's just superawkward. And I'm sure everyone
can kind of relate to be kind ofbeing in this. And it's weird
because I sometimes I can'tquite figure out why I'm like,
there's certain animals. I don'tknow. I just get along with some
other people better than others.
And and so what are some what doyou do you have any like,

(38:53):
strategies or tips to kind oflike make a conversation not
like if it's going down theawkward route a little bit, and
then it's just that you're justlike, okay. You know, some first

thought real real world stuff.

It is.

Eric Beels (39:05):
Trying to ask some questions maybe, and then
they're giving you, like, like,the sort of response possible,
or or, you know, it's justawkward in some way. What are do
you have any help, you know,tips to kind of work through
that? Or and and I don't know.Make maybe they're maybe it's
awkward because they feeluncomfortable, which is making
me feel uncomfortablecomfortable because I'm a I'm a
little higher on the empathy.I've taken, like, the strength

(39:29):
behind

your desk. You feel.

Eric Beels (39:30):
Empathy is, like, my number my number 2, and, and
which is different fromsympathy, by the way. It is. And

A 100% different than sympathy.

Eric Beels (39:40):
Yeah. And, I have kind of my own definition. I'd
like to know your definitions onon those 2 as well. But, so what
are some ways that that youfound if if someone's if you're
having trouble communicatingwith somebody, what does that

look like? If my questions are falling to deaf
or, like, it's like, okay.There's nothing

The questions would be number 1.

Right. And so always starting with questions,
you know, and if and if they'reone word answers, like, okay.
We're not getting anywheretoday. For starters, I'm gonna
give grace first. They could behaving a bad day.
This is maybe not their realpersonality. And if it is their
real personality, then I'vegotta figure out how to work
with them. And that's okay. So Imight go straight to, hey. You
know, it's it sounds like itmight be a busy day for you

(40:20):
because if someone's giving meone word answers, they're
they're they're in a hurry, andthat's what I feel like.
If it's quick and they're fast,I'm like, they're in a hurry.
I'm like, hey. It might be abusy day for you. Maybe we can
schedule another one to 1, buttell me, you know, what is who
do you need most right now? Whatdo I need to be looking for?
What I might know somebody inthis business. You know? Would
this help you? So I go straightto business at that point. If

(40:42):
this person doesn't wanna be onwith me much longer, though
that's what it feels like,sometimes they can switch.
Oh, no. No. I've got time todayfor you. And I've had it where
it switches gears, and they openup and they become a little bit
more warm and a little bit butthen I've had other days, like,
yeah. That'd be great.
They were in a hurry, And it'sjust I've gotta give grace first
because I don't know what'sgoing on

Eric Beels (41:02):
in their 4 walls.

And I like

Eric Beels (41:04):
that's really good because, like, you know,
especially if it's like a firstmeeting, you don't really know.
And sometimes it's easy to belike, what a what a weird person
or whatever. Baseline.

Yeah.

Eric Beels (41:13):
You don't have a basics. You don't know that. If
you know them, then you're like,okay. Clearly, you're having an
off day because you know them.You know what they norm are
normally normally like.
And but I like I like when I'mputting one thing I'm kind of
just noticing is like, there's alot of like, really simple
solutions to to to this, like,just straight up calling the

(41:35):
elephant out in the room, likeyou just mentioned. Yep. And
just going, hey, it seems like,you know, I'm getting a sense
that you you're have have

A full day.

Eric Beels (41:45):
A full day. Like, do you wanna would you like to
reschedule? And they might belike, actually, I do have a full
day. Yes. Yeah.
Let's do that. Thank you. Youknow, that sort of thing. So I
think that can that come acrossas being, I don't know, like
like like, oh, what? You don'tlike my personality?

Like, you

Eric Beels (42:02):
know what I mean? I feel like that could really turn
to go south really quickly.

If you do it with a smile on your face, if
you do everything with a smileon your face, like, don't put
someone down with don't ever putanyone down. But if you do it
with a smile on your face,majority of the time, it's not
gonna go the wrong way. Hey. Youknow, I know what it's like. I'm
in you know, I'm busy too.
I don't I want us to have agreat one to 1, and a lot of
time, it gives them breath. Itgives them, thank you. Thank you

(42:28):
for noticing.

Eric Beels (42:29):
Mhmm. Mhmm.

And I should have said you know, and it's
turned into things sometimeswhere I should have said
something. I got overbookedtoday. I'm like, it's no
worries. It's fine. This is wecan book another one.

Eric Beels (42:38):
It's not

a big deal. Mhmm. If it happens the second,
3rd, and 4th time, then I'mgonna say, okay. Come on.

You know? Pattern here.

We got a pattern here then.

Eric Beels (42:47):
We need to work on your organization skills or
whatever.

Yeah. Let's work on some white space in your
calendar. But most of the time,if you do it with a smile on
your face, if you do it from apoint of, hey. I I feel you. I
know what it's like.
Like, if it's if you have areally full day, we can do
something different. It's it'sbringing it's bringing you guys
together in the point of you'renot out here by yourself. Like,

(43:10):
I understand. I understand whereyou're coming from. It's not
like, oh, you must be too busyfor me.
I'm not saying it that way.Mhmm.

I I love that because it opens up. It's like
you're giving them permission tocommunicate their truth.

Giving them permission to be transparent.
Mhmm. It's okay. I'd rather yoube transparent with me. I'd
rather you be I got on the phonewith one of our members the
other day, and the first thingthey said was, I got 2 calls a
day.
I was unexpected. I was solooking forward to our 1 to 1
today. Can we at least talk for,like, 15 minutes? Yep. That's
awesome.
Let me call you instead becausewe were Zooming. And I said,

(43:42):
there's no reason to Zoom. Let'sjust talk on the phone. Like,
fine too. Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much. And then webooked another 1 to 1 on another
day.

Eric Beels (43:49):
Mhmm.

But just be transparent. That's, again,
going back to be authenticallyyou as well too. But if we are
not transparent with each other,then we aren't gonna build
strong relationships. We aren'tgonna communicate effectively
with each other.

But, also, look. That person could have
gone into a negative spiral therest of the day. And because
that communication was concise,now you both got to go on and
both benefited from the rest ofthe day. You got, either some
time or

some time. I got some time back, and I got
some more things done. Great.It's and I don't take that as a
negative. So Mhmm.

Eric Beels (44:21):
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, what was I gonna say? I was
gonna I had a question in my mymind, but I kind

of I got a great question. It was

something that you just mentioned. You said
empathy is kind of yoursuperpower, and Eric was gonna
have

his number 2 super power.

Yes. Empathy and empathy and, sympathy. Do
you wanna,

I love that empathy is number 2 for you, and
I love that you took strengthfinders.

Eric Beels (44:49):
Mhmm.

What I love about strength finders is that
it's different for every singleperson. Mhmm. So even though he
and I both have empathy, becausemine falls as number 1, his
falls as number 2, even if oursboth fell as number 1, it would
have a completely differentreport for him based off his
other strengths

Eric Beels (45:03):
than

it does for mine. Mhmm. And so empathy for
every just like any strength youhave is so unique to you. So
just because you and I both haveempathy, we may use it
differently.

Eric Beels (45:14):
Mhmm.

But empathy empathy is is taking on the
feelings of others. Sympathy isfeeling sorry for someone.
Sympathy is you are you aregoing in. You're same sitting
with them. You're you're goingthrough the pains with them, but
empathy is literally taking onhow someone else is feeling.
I can walk into a room full ofjoy and happy and energetic, and

(45:36):
within seconds, feel sad, feelupset, or feel tense, and I'm
like, okay.

Who is it?

What's going on around here? And I and I
years ago, it was I saw it likeI said, I saw it as a weakness.
And and empathy is also whenpeople know that people can can
feel that you feel, so they cometo you quick.

Eric Beels (46:00):
Mhmm.

They come to you quick for everything and
think that you'll have answersas well too, which then all of a
sudden you can go down a spiralin your life thinking, well, now
I have to have answers forthings.

Eric Beels (46:10):
So what's funny about that is I I I will often
have a lot of people, like, openup to me. Yes. The funny thing
is is my sympathy is I don'thave a ton of sympathy. And so,
oftentimes, a lot of people areI'm just kinda like, okay. I'm
sorry you're going through that.
And sometimes I've gottenpeople's love love like, people
are more compassionate. And I'mjust like, I don't know. It's
not, you know, it's not it's notmy it's not my thing. Like, I

(46:32):
But that's beautiful.

That's why empathy and sympathy aren't the
same. Sorry. Say that again.

Eric Beels (46:36):
That's why

empathy and sympathy aren't the same.

Eric Beels (46:38):
Right.

They can't Yeah. They don't coexist
sometimes.

Eric Beels (46:40):
But the the advantage though that I found
with with with with, for myempathy is that, like, if
something's kind of wrong, Ikinda tune into something's
wrong, like, right away. I'vegotten so many times where like,
I'm actually talking withsomebody and I'm just like, and
I'll tell like Amber afterwards.I'm like, you know, something

(47:02):
about that conversation. I like,I don't know, but this person,
like, I've learned to reallykind of follow my my gut on
these things when I get this,like, bad sense about something
Mhmm. To follow that because itit almost, like, on cue, like, a
few months later, I I learnedsomething else and then, like,
about that person, like Right.
Okay. Maybe that's why thatthere's something happened with

(47:22):
that person now, and then nowit's it's felt it's, you know,
not something I wanna be, like,associated with that person now.
And and I don't know, like, Iknow everyone's maybe not maybe
not be able to have that senseif they're not higher on the
empathy side of side of things.But for for me, I've I've kind

(47:47):
of learned to really kind of getin tune with that even it makes
I'm a very logical person, andit usually makes no logical
sense. And so I've just learned,I was like, well, it's worked in
the past, so I'm just gonnakinda follow it even though it
it everything seems like it itit I we should do this thing, x
y z.
But Always listen to theintuition. Yeah.

It's like the gut punch

you do.

Yeah. Yeah. And you walk away, and you have
to have that discernment of, isit just because it didn't go
well or I'm nervous or you know,you have to really, like, sit
back and really, like, look atthe big picture of things. Mhmm.
But you need to follow that toobecause I've done it where
somebody has wanted me to dobusiness with them.
Like, let's just do this. It'sgonna be great. And I'm like, I

(48:29):
just I'm like, hey. Well, Julie,you don't love change. You don't
always love change, but it's sogood for you.
Mhmm. And sometimes you have toget uncomfortable to change and
to move and to go on the rightdirection.

Not the right fit.

But sometimes it's not the right fit. And I
have pushed the door open, or Ihave gone into something that
I'm not supposed to go into, andI've learned from it, hopefully,
and not gonna repeat that in thefuture. But it always goes back
to, I knew it. I felt it thefirst second. Why did I not
follow that?
But that is that is empathy.That is also knowing and feeling

(49:01):
things as you and most peoplehave a sense of that. Mhmm.

Well, everybody does. There's actually a part
inside of us called the thalamicgate, and and it's a like a
little antenna in our brain, andit, detects frequency and
oscillation. So you actually dohave a sense of the vibration of
a person before you even seethem or feel them. Your body
knows the, the frequency. Wecan't see it, but energetically,

(49:29):
we we can feel it.

Mhmm. So good. Mhmm. Mhmm.

It's very important to follow those in
like you said, 6 months later, 9months later, you'll probably be
able to see why. But if we don'tfollow that, I feel like as
business people, we definitelyneed to follow our intuition.

Okay to say no. It's okay to say no. I, you
know, I don't think I'm a goodfit for you. It's better to say
that, or I don't think this is agood fit for my business right
now, or I don't think this is agreat way for me to go whatever
you wanna say. It is okay to sayno.

Eric Beels (49:58):
Mhmm.

Even if it might hurt someone's feelings in
that time because they reallythought this was gonna be a good
thing, I've said no to peoplethat come to me and want help.
And once we go througheverything and once we meet and
once we do a call together and Iknow. I just I've been down this
road. I've had a client likethis before, and I'm not a good
fit for them because I won'tgive them what they want. And so

(50:21):
it's better for me to say no andlose a client and lose money
versus say yes to them, and I'mnever gonna make them happy
Mhmm.
To the point they're gonna askme for their money back at some
point.

Eric Beels (50:32):
Right. Right.

So I'd rather say no now and potentially upset
them and potentially I don'tknow. Maybe they won't talk to
me again. I don't know. But

Eric Beels (50:41):
So how do you say no to a client like that then? You
know, where where it's whereit's kind of like because what
I'm kinda saying is is, like,it's not gonna work because
we're just not vibing well.Like, you know what I mean?
That's kinda what it soundslike. How do you say that?

Sometimes I wish I could say that.

Eric Beels (50:57):
But Yeah. Sometimes you might wish to, but it's,
like, you know, it might belike, well, she's a jerk or
whatever. Right?

I would because I ask so many questions
in the beginning. So I ask a lotof questions when I'm just
having a regular one to one withsomeone, but I ask a ton of
questions to people that aremeeting with me professionally.
And I will always say, if if Iif it comes down to it and I can
just I know what they want, I Ican't offer them, and I won't

(51:22):
because it's just not somethingI'll do. I'm not gonna do
something nice. If I say this ishow I do things, I'm not gonna
change it up for this one personbecause that's what they want,
and that's how they want itdone.
I would just say based on theanswers you've given me, based
on I would pull out ex examplesbased on this, this, this, and
this. I I am not a good fit foryou because I'm not gonna be

(51:46):
able to give you oh, yes. I knowyou like, I've had a few yes.
It'll be great. I'm like, can Ijust give you a scenario?
I would give them a scenario.Look. If this happens and then
this happens and I'm gonna tellyou x, y, z, you're not gonna be
happy because you want this donein 30 days, and that's not
doable.

Eric Beels (52:03):
Mhmm.

It is, but not the way I do it.

Eric Beels (52:06):
Got it.

So for our audience, saying no to someone
else can be saying yes toyourself.

Saying yes to yourself and yes to another
potential client that would comein that would take the space of
that one that you would have hadto say no to.

A better fit.

That would be a better fit.

Eric Beels (52:19):
That's true. Keeping yourself kind of open to a
better opportunity Yes. Thantaking this, like, mediocre
opportunity.

More in alignment.

Eric Beels (52:26):
Right.

Uh-huh. More in alignment. There you go.
Switching your mindset. Yep.
Yeah.

Eric Beels (52:32):
Yeah. Well, this has been been really good. This is a
the there's an aspect where I Ido some of these things. I need
to work on the text the the alot of the texting stuff. Maybe
I need to get an Android.
That's a little hard becauseI've been iPhone for, like,
ever.

A lot. Then you need to ask Apple to.

Eric Beels (52:51):
I need to do yeah. Rather just Apple make a
scheduler or something on the onthe text message because it's
that's

I'm sure there's an app for it. I just
not haven't found it.

Eric Beels (53:00):
Not the messaging app, though, unfortunately. I
wish. No. So, how do you, how doyou serve people on a on a, you
know, on a business level? Like,what do you what do you do?
And I'd like to kind of justkind of wrap up with how you
serve how do you help people?How do you serve people?

What do I do for a living? Mhmm. I'm a
nutrition coach.

Eric Beels (53:27):
K.

So I help people balance their carbs,
proteins, and fats for a day andlearn how to eat real food and
learn how to cook for themselvesand learn how to live life and
still enjoy life and stillsplurge and still have fun and
not hate being healthy.

Eric Beels (53:43):
So you're working with people, like, consistently,
oftentimes, or you're you'rekinda in communication with them
a lot. So that so thatcommunication is exceptionally
important for for someone inyour position. Yeah.

If I'm not communicating with them, if
they're and that's one thingthat we laid down in the
beginning. I said, I only knowas much as you tell me.

Eric Beels (54:02):
Mhmm.

And that's why I'm gonna base everything I'm
gonna tell you respond with backto you. If you don't tell me
something, the same thing iswhen you go to the doctor.

Eric Beels (54:09):
Mhmm.

And you it's like you almost want, like, a
magic genie from you. Well, theyshould know if I buy my blood
test. No. You it would behelpful if you told them how you
were feeling.

Eric Beels (54:16):
Mhmm.

It'd be helpful if you told your doctor,
I have pain here. A blood testisn't gonna show pain there most
of the time, but it'd be helpfulif you told them that. Same
thing when someone comes to me.If they don't communicate with
me a lot and let me know what'sgoing on, then I can only tell
them what they're telling me. Ican only respond with what
they're telling me.
So I lay that foundation down inthe beginning. I'm gonna be

(54:39):
asking you questions. I'm gonnabe following up with you. If you
choose not to follow-up with me,if you choose not to respond, I
can only help as much as I canhelp. Mhmm.
Mhmm. So I try to lay thatfoundation in the beginning.
I've had clients in the pastthat are wonderful with that,
and I've had clients that I'vehad to sort of help them get
better at it. Throughout.

Eric Beels (55:00):
Have you found there's certain, like, red flags
that you kinda look for people?Because I I may I imagine there
might be other coaches listeningon, you know, how to for them to
just be a better coach. And thisis probably to all all sorts of
coaching industries as well too.There's a red flags that are
like

There's a lot of red flags. So it for example,
if someone really wants to makea change in their life, really
wants to get healthy, but I haveno time. Well, we have to find
time. Mhmm. So where can we findtime?
What can we cut out? Is thereone show we can cut out? Do you
watch TV? No. I don't even watchTV.
Okay. So it's like workingthrough where in where in your
life can because, for forexample, if someone's an

(55:38):
entrepreneur and they own theirown business and they can't cut
back on their business becausethey own their own business and
they're really busy, we know alot of people like that. Right?
Mhmm. They are going, going,going, going, going.
Well, your business isn't gonnarun if you're not okay. If
you're not healthy, if you don'tif you don't take care of you at
some point or another, your yourbusiness is gonna fail because
your business runs off of you.Mhmm. So let's make you healthy.

(56:00):
Let's find time for you.
So it's it's working withpeople, and so that's a that's a
big red flag where they wanna behealthy. They want they want
this, want it, want it, but theydon't wanna make time for it.
Mhmm.

But even for super busy people, you do have
resources, and you can make itwork for

You can make

it work. I know that you've worked with very
busy people within our chapter,and

Yes.

You still have products that they can use that
will give them more energy andso more clarity so they can get
through that. Mhmm.

But it's important to find the time for
you.

Mhmm. And

if you don't, other things in life are gonna
start to fail.

That balance.

So let's health is it is so important to
find our health so that we canlive longer. We can do things
longer. We have more energylonger. We can be nice to the
people around us. Yep.
Yep.

Eric Beels (56:48):
Yep. Well, so, Julie, if if someone listening
wanted to get in contact withyou, they like love how how
great of a communicator you areor whatever it is, and they know
that you'll you'll, tell them ifit's a good fit clearly.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Eric Beels (57:03):
How would someone would someone get in contact

with you? My phone number is the best
possible way, and you're gonnalaugh at that because I know
social media is hugecommunication, and I have paired
away from it in the last year.So I would say my phone number
is the best way to get ahold ofme at this point.

Eric Beels (57:18):
Mhmm. And what's your phone number?

Do you want me to give it? 619-994-7471.

So reach out to Julie if you're interested in
improving your health. Thankyou.

Eric Beels (57:31):
Alright. Thanks so much, Julie.

Thank you for having me. It was fun.

Eric Beels (57:34):
And so if someone listening, if you you hear this
episode and you know someone whois just kind of I'm sure
everyone I'm sure most peoplelistening are going to think of
that person. They're like, yeah,this person never getting back
getting back to me. Maybeforward them to this this
episode and send send a link tothem and, you know, and see if,

(57:58):
hopefully hopefully, they'lllisten to it, and hopefully,
they'll learn something from it.So thanks so much for listening,
guys.

Tune in next time. Thank you for joining us
for the Business Boost Hour. Myname is Crystal Pravette, and
this is Eric Fields. Thank youfor joining us, and don't forget
to document your single CEU. Seeyou next time.

Eric Beels (58:16):
See you in the next episode.

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