May 5, 2025 • 33 mins
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Avoiding facing your fears keeps you stuck. Simon Emery explains how running from fearful experiences or childhood trauma limits your potential and growth. Unlock your true strength instead.
Are you still carrying the emotional pain of your past — pain that was never really yours to begin with?
In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, transformational coach Siamon Emery breaks down the truth about healing: don’t focus on fixing broken pieces. You were never broken at all. Siamon challenges the idea that we need to “fix” ourselves to be happy. Instead, he explains why wholeness has always been inside us — we just forgot.
Through his own journey of deep emotional work and trauma recovery, Siamon shows us that true strength comes from feeling everything — not from pretending we're fine. He explains the importance of self-regulation, how to create real safety within our bodies, and how revisiting our childhood pain with compassion, not judgment, can change everything.
If you feel stuck in patterns that you can't break, or weighed down by old stories that you’ve carried too long, this conversation will be the wake-up call you need. Siamon’s message is simple and liberating: you don't have to carry what isn't yours. Healing is possible and he shares a strategy to start doing it live on the show. A better, lighter life is waiting — and it starts with a choice you can make today.
🎯 Ready to heal yourself? Visit SiamonEmery.com to book your free 30-minute call and discover how you can finally leave the old baggage behind — for good.
Resources Mentioned:
Siamon Emery: Website | Instagram | Facebook
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Siamon Emery (00:00):
Hi everyone. My name is Siamon Emery, creator of
(00:03):
Somatic Progression. And in thisepisode of The Growth Architect,
we get to talk about how we canreframe some of the most
traumatic experiences that we'veexperienced, either through
childhood or in our adult years,to one of connection and love,
how this healing is available toeveryone and how from this
(00:23):
moment on, we can change totallythe story that we want to share
with everybody else. Hope to seeyou in the podcast. And
BEATE CHELETTE (00:31):
Hello, fabulous person! Beate Chelette here. I
am the host of the BusinessGrowth Architect Show, and I
want to welcome you to today'sepisode where we discuss how to
navigate strategy andspirituality to achieve time and
financial freedom. Trulysuccessful people have learned
how to master both a clearintention and a strategy to
(00:53):
execute that in a spiritualpractice that will help them to
stay in alignment and onpurpose. Please enjoy the show
and listen to what our guesttoday has to say about this very
topic. Welcome back. BeateChelette here from the Business
Growth Architect Show, and todayI am live with Siamon Emery, and
(01:14):
Simon is going to talk aboutsomething I think many of us
kind of know, kind of know theyneed to deal with, kind of do a
little bit, but are they reallyand that is, are you willing to
look at the trauma that you'veexperienced, the story that
trauma represents in your life,and what are you going to do
(01:34):
with it? And Siamon, you are theman that will answer all these
questions. Welcome to the
Siamon Emery (01:43):
show to answer the questions presented to me, the
answer so but yes, I and you gotabout a half hour or so. Yeah,
perfect. All I need. Perfect forsomebody
BEATE CHELETTE (01:52):
who has never heard of you is not familiar
with your work, will you tellthem what it is that you do and
what problem do you solve foryour clients?
Siamon Emery (02:00):
Well, literally, I solve a process that's basically
called fear conditioning. So we,if we come into it to an
experience. Look, it can bechildhood based around
childhood, not a problem. Yes,it also can be based around,
also experiences in ouradolescence or our early
formative years. And so what weusually tend to happen and we'll
have a negative experience, orwe'll have an experience that
(02:20):
sticks with us, or stays withus, we'll then get a
conditioning around thatexperience that will say to us,
or into our limbic system, whichis like our emotional brain,
that that's not fun or That'snot nice. So I don't want to go
there anymore. And so then we'lldo put things and stuff in our
life to avoid some of thosescenarios. And so it can really
simply be like, Okay, I don'twant to be in that job anymore
(02:42):
because I had a really badexperience in that job, that job
interview, or that experiencewith starting this business, or
with hanging around this type ofperson, it can be all of those
things, you know, intertwinedtogether, and then we can all
lump it into this bigconditioning space where we go,
oh, that's that's something thatI'm just going to now leave
because that was a badexperience that I no longer wish
(03:02):
to explore anymore, because so
BEATE CHELETTE (03:04):
is it like, you know, like I used to have a lot
of friends in advertising and orin publishing, and then is that
what? When they say, I hate thepublishing industry or
advertising sucks, I have a badexperience, but I'm not dealing
with my one bad experience. NowI have to find something or
someone to be at fault. Is thatwhat it is correct?
Siamon Emery (03:26):
So then we look at it from, so is that experience?
Then if we have that one badexperience, yeah. And then we
look at it from in isolation,and then we go, okay, it must be
that experience that's actuallycreated the reaction that I have
in isolation. So then we use theexperience as a way to avoid
then those scenarios, or thosesituations again, in those life
(03:47):
because in our experience, thatsituation said that was not
nice, that was not fun, that wasnot that was uncomfortable, that
made me scared, that made mefeel unsafe. And so then we sit
with the actual scenario, andthen we don't, and then we it's
so much easier for us just toleave that as it is and not
actually investigate in further.
Because why
BEATE CHELETTE (04:07):
would we? Let's go right there. So let's say
that the reason I did this isn'tbecause I had a bad experience.
I mean, I did have a badexperience. That's the truth,
because my boss did saysomething or give credit to
someone else, but that byitself, I may be able to shrug
(04:29):
off on normal circumstances andsay, Well, that just happens.
People don't know better, orthey do what they do, but you
say there might be anunderlying, deeper trauma to it.
And so let's talk about how, howdoes this sort of connect? And I
want to give you an example sowe can make this really real. So
I for those of you watching thisas a video, you'll see me
(04:50):
sitting here in wet hair becauseI literally just got out the
shower, or someone was kindenough to push the interview for
an hour because we had beengifted by an organization. That
helps victims of naturalcatastrophes, with a whole team
of 10 people that come in thedig through your Rubble, and
they try to find trinkets,memories, memorabilias to help
(05:14):
you. And one of the things thatI found was a piece of gold, and
I thought it was about it wasfrom a gold ring, and this
particular gold ring was in aseparate jewelry box, deep
hidden in the closet, becausethe ring was on the hand of my
abuser. And I remember the ringvividly, and I had a visceral
(05:40):
reaction when I inherited thering and I couldn't bear to look
at it. I couldn't bear to wearit. I burned it in the jewelry
box, and now I have this clumpof gold. So what is it about
something like this? Like traumaa trigger? Is it? What's the
story like? Help us figure outit's a ring. I mean, it has no
(06:04):
meaning, really. It's a ring.
It's a gold ring with a bunch ofstones in it, but it's just a
ring. But what is it about thesymbolism of something like that
that catches us so hard? Well,
Siamon Emery (06:17):
no, it isn't just a ring for you, though, Beate.
It's not just a ring. It's notjust a clump of gold with some
with some gems in it, with somecolored stones in it. That's not
at all what it is, what it is,what it represents, and the
symbolism of it is directly backto your abuser. Does your body
instantly say this as it's aseven in the depths of that
emotional experience you'rehaving, you've buried it
(06:38):
completely away from you don'teven know. You can't even
remember, potentially, probably,that it was there during the
fire. And then all of a sudden,when you're sifting through,
what's the first thing that youthink that you've come across
pain? Yeah. And so then how doyou identify that pain? That
pain sit with you from yourabuser still. So even though
you're in a completely differentemotional response, you still
(07:00):
have a conditioning that holdsyour body in that space of
identifying that experience,that abusive experience,
BEATE CHELETTE (07:10):
that's just nuts, right, if you really think
about it. So I'm an adult, I'vedone a lot of work, certainly
been doing my self developmentwork. And you look at this and
you go, wow, wow. I haveemotions about this. What do we
do? What do we do with and whatdo we tell? Tell our audience
where we say, okay, in order foryou to really get where you need
(07:34):
to go or where you want to go,and you make these choices based
upon where you want to go, notwhat you've been conditioned to
react to. How do we snap themout of it? How we help them out
of it? How do we how do I leavesomething like this behind?
Siamon Emery (07:48):
Well, it starts really with with actually
creating a capacity in thatlimbic system, in that emotional
body, that nervous system. So westart to really work with the
body. So we start to calm itdown as much as we can. We'll
start on this meditative processthat I use. It's actually like a
yoga nidra is that we I rotatethrough the body in different
circumstances and differentunderstandings. Then we just
(08:10):
start to feel, get anunderstanding for what a
feeling, what our body isfeeling in the moment. I
introduced some really subtletechniques to help you calm into
your body. Watch the shouldersdrop, start to yawn a little
bit. And so what we're doing iswe're creating capacity in your
nervous system. So that capacitythen looks like, once you have
that capacity, you don't gostraight into a 10 out of 10
(08:31):
overwhelm when you getconfronted by the same emotional
trigger. You'll go to a three ora five if I'm going to create a
space in your body that's goingto sit with that aspect of
yourself that was abused, sothat that that person, that
little person, I'm assuming,that that young lady, or that
woman who really needed an adultin there, who really needed
somebody to say, you're okay, Ihave you, you're fine, you're
(08:53):
safe. So what we're going to dois we're going to create that
together in your body. So how wedo that is we create the system
and the feeling of connection tothat place. And so what's really
interesting about it, with theway that I work, is, for the
most part, b I don't actuallywant to know about your trauma.
(09:14):
I should. Don't want to knowabout the negative things. I
think you know, Freud'sunderstanding of how we how we
work with with mental issues iswe want to talk about them and
talk therapy and sort of eke outevery little understanding we
can about the experience,whereas, in actual fact, given
my experience,
BEATE CHELETTE (09:33):
it just re traumatizes you over and over
and over again. So
Siamon Emery (09:36):
if talking about that re traumatizes you bit, do
you think that talking aboutreally beautiful and really
connected experiences from yourchildhood can actually re engage
the safety from that space aswell?
BEATE CHELETTE (09:50):
That's a thought I've never had. I understand
that there are certain schoolsof thoughts, you know. The one
is, you know, talk about it,experience what feels like,
release it. Let it go, writethe. Letters, the journals burn
it. I find, very much like whatyou just said, that process does
not work really well for me. Solet's just say, for the sake of
(10:10):
this podcast, we've done that,we're not going to talk about
it. What else is there? So thereis a plant medicine, which I
have done, which I like. Thereis religion, prayer, which many
people do, there are there'smeditation. And so tell us about
this method of yours, thatbecause it's like, it sounds
(10:32):
like it's a combination ofsomatic healing and meditation.
What is it?
Siamon Emery (10:40):
Okay, so it's, it is basically those two things.
So just a quick history into myexperience, right? So I was born
into a to a family of twointravenous drug users. I was
born into what we would call thedrug den in Sydney, and then I
was for the first five years ofmy life. Nothing was was stable.
It was all completely fluid. Iwas passed around. So never any
(11:01):
consistency, and never anybody,and never really anything from
my early stages of remembering,of anything good from that
period of time in my life. Andso obviously I was, you know, I
through the enormous amounts oftherapy, different therapeutic
approaches I went through. I didall of the things I did, all the
EMDR I did psychedelics. I wentand lived in India for a period
of time and got my diploma ofyogic studies. I've been through
(11:24):
so many different things, but asyou say, like, what is the
process? It's like I couldn'tshift it. It was still there. I
was so emotionally self awarethat I COVID Lee knew that that
okay, this experience that I hadas a child is really going to
basically, my trajectory isjail, addiction or death. So
even that space, I knew thatbecause listening, looking at
(11:44):
the the ICE score, so, you know,adverse childhood experiences
says, If you score more thanseven or five, you're this many
more times susceptible to cancerand to all of these other you
know, anyway, we don't need togo down that space. I couldn't
shift it until I went to Indiaand I come back from India.
India was traumatizing on itsown. But what I brought back
from that was this system calledYoga Nidra. So yoga nidra was a
(12:09):
is a body based awareness whereI sit you down. We're just
sitting in front of the camera.
Here you close your eyes. I talksome really, really simple
breathing exercises. We get youconnect into your body. I just
rotate right hand, index finger,middle finger, ring finger,
pinky finger, thumb. So just getyou identifying, get you
visualizing behind the closedeyes. What that initially does
is it starts to pull yourawareness out of this thinking
(12:29):
amygdala sort of figure brain,this limbic system brain that
you've consistently been in forso long. Get you into your body.
Okay, great, I'm in the body.
Where do we go? Right? So in myexperience, what happens when I
consistently think about thenegative things in my life?
Well, then I get a negativereaction that comes back into
(12:50):
myself. I'm like, okay, and Iget this overwhelmed,
consistently, overwhelm,overwhelm, always thinking about
the negative and then alwayslooking around in my environment
to see, to be conditioned, tosee if there was ever that was
ever that was ever going tohappen again, just from that
childhood experience. So what Ireplaced that with then was
like, when was the first time?
So in that state, quietly,sitting here, sitting to myself,
(13:10):
and just asking myself thisreally simple question, when was
the first time I ever felt safe?
And the memory came to me inthat moment, in that instant,
and it was, I was four yearsold, potentially or five. I was
sitting on my grandmother'scouch. She's German. It was
Saturday morning. She brought methe biggest bowl of rice
(13:31):
krispies and the widest, thebiggest amount of sugar you
could ever want as a four yearold boy, wrapped me in a
comforter, and then, and thenput the Saturday morning
cartoons. And so this was thevery first memory where I felt
completely safe, completely seenand completely cared for and
want. And the moment that memorydropped in, that was, it was so
(13:55):
specific to me. It was mymemory. It wasn't anyone else's
memory. It was my memory. Mywhole body dropped, my whole
experience coming to the safetyI was that four year old boy
again, on that couch with thatcomforter, experiencing those
cartoons on a Saturday morning,and then coming out of that
experience and going and thenrealizing, looking at my at at
(14:17):
my own heart rate, at where Iwas feeling, how I was feeling
in my body. I was exhaustedafter the experience, like I'd
finally come into like a like areally connected place. I wasn't
always in an adrenal state. Mydown regulated, like my
pituitary gland, so there was nocortisol running through. And so
then I did a bunch of deeperresearch. I started doing
neuroscience around theunderstanding as well, and
(14:37):
understood that what I was doingwas a body based body awareness
situation that actually changedmy brain state. So it actually
changed it from a conditionspace where I had synapses of
fear, so synapses of hormonesthat were already that were
upregulated to receive cortisol,nor noradrenaline or
norepinephrine, sorry, which iscalled it in the states and and.
(14:59):
Cortisol, so they were hadsynapses in the brain. They're
always really primed to receivethose. I was actually starting
to down regulate those, and thenup regulate these connections of
serotonin. And then as I was upregulating these connections of
safety and love, more morememories and connections of
safety and love started toappear. Why? Because when we're
in that limbic system, whenwe're in that activated state,
(15:22):
we're actually always lookingfor fear. We're always actually
unconsciously from new but athing called neuroception, where
we're in our environment, we'realways passively, even just
looking and feeling for notsafe, because that's what we've
always got to be on guard for.
And so once I was able to turnthat system off and connect it
into safety systems and memoriesthat were relevant to me. I
(15:43):
could actually condition myselfto come more into my intuition,
more into my gut feeling. Icould actually creating those
things into that space where Icould actually be more connected
to my body and less in my head.
The visual that
BEATE CHELETTE (15:59):
I have is like, it's almost like you're taking a
train to a train station, andyou're unhoking One wagon and
you're hooking up another oneinto it, because you are
absolutely correct. I think thatthe subconscious mind, and
people say all kinds of thingsabout the subconscious mind, but
it is programmed in a particularway. It is what it is. It's
there to keep us safe. It'sdoing a phenomenal job. I don't
(16:21):
think God makes mistakes. So ifit would have been not a good
thing, we wouldn't have it. Soit must be reason why it's why
it's still there and so activeall the time. But what you are
saying is that if I give it toomuch value, or if I base my
decision making on that wagonthat I carry around, and I've
(16:44):
never looked what's in thewagon, or why I'm even carrying
the wagon around, or if it'sunnecessarily heavy, or maybe I
don't want the wagon at allanymore, I will continue to
carry that with me. And thenwhat does that do? Because I
think that's really importantfor us to talk about. What I
hear you say, redirect theexperience to a positive
(17:07):
experience, a rethinking,reprogramming, rewiring. What
happens to me if I don't do it?
Well, I
Siamon Emery (17:16):
think we can see what happens to you if you don't
do it. You continually go downthe road of fear, your capacity
to hold spaces of dysregulation.
So if capacity to hold spaces ofnot safe becomes less and less
and less. And I'm sure you canwitness that in some some people
who are who are of advancingage, their ability to hold a
fear state, or to be in afearful place, is really reduced
because they have no capacity toactually, and it's called
(17:39):
allostatic load. So they have nocapacity, actually, to go into
another district loaded state,because their adrenals have been
on for so long that cortisol hasbeen pumping for so long.
There's just no capacity in thebody. So if we've been in that
space where our body has been inthat fight or flight for so
long, and it's been well andtruly taken advantage of in the
media and in these spaces aswell, because what really keeps
(17:59):
people engaged is the fearstate. Is fear we're
BEATE CHELETTE (18:03):
seeing this right now. I think we were
seeing mastery of this. I mean,this is point blank mastery of
keeping people in that state.
Siamon Emery (18:14):
So what happens when you're in a fear state,
there you have an upregulatedlimbic system that amygdala is
then going to take over. So it'scalled amygdala fear
conditioning, or amygdalahijack. That amygdala is going
to take over the prefrontalcortex, or the frontal cortex,
the frontal lobes, right thefrontal lobes is where we have
rational thinking. So if we'rewhere, if we're just
consistently in a fear basedstate, from our limbic system.
(18:36):
Now that limbic system ismillions of years old, actually
probably hundreds of millions.
This limbic system that we haveis has been evolving from the
very first cross state that havethat appeared on this planet,
that fight or flight. That wasthe first brain, what we call
the lizard brain. That was verymuch so the first brain, it was
like, fight, fight, fightflight, or fawn, you know, run
(18:56):
away, fight it, or just sitstill, completely still. And so
that evolutionary process hasbeen with us from the moment,
from the dawn of time on thisplanet. So people who expertly
know how to control that willjust keep feeding you fear and
just keep you and then what thatfear does. It's like somebody
running back into a burningbuilding when they've run out of
it, yeah, and they don't knowthey're in such a fear state,
(19:18):
they'll run out of the buildingand then turn around and run
back in, because they'reactually not you. Actually not
using a rational process,because it's the conditioning of
the brain. The brain doesn'thave the resources to have
actually give us the rationalthought and the fight or flight
system as well. It's one or theother. And that's that's an
evolutionary process as well. Soby then, coming out of that fear
based state, by creatingcapacity, by actually managing
(19:43):
ourselves, by by holdingourselves in safety, let's make
it relevant to you. I'm going togo to an experience in your life
that we're going to go to anexperience in your life that you
may have completely forgottenabout because hasn't been
relevant to you. And then assoon as you find that space, you
go, Oh my gosh, I haven'tthought about that. Years, why
haven't you thought about whyyou were loved and safe? Because
it's actually not relevant toyour current experience, because
(20:04):
you're in a really fearactivated state. So just by
helping you to come back intoyour body, by connecting you to
lived experiences, not anyoneelse's lived experience, we then
have the ability then toactually start to feel the fear
and see the fear for what it is.
BEATE CHELETTE (20:22):
how does this relate to my work, to business?
Now, Because it is the BusinessGrowth Srchitect Show, after
all. So now let's say I havethis, I have these experiences.
I'm cautious. I don't want tolose money. It's scary enough.
The way it is, the market'suncertain. Business is
(20:45):
uncertain. Future is uncertain.
How do I how do I shake it off?
Can I shake it off? What do Ido? I want to run a business. I
need to feed my family. I wantto help more people. I want to
make an impact in this world.
How does this relate to that?
Siamon Emery (20:58):
Well, first of all, we'll talk about, what is
your, what's your Why? Whyyou're actually doing this? Are
you doing it for a reason, to tocreate comfort, or are you doing
it to to prove to somebody, to aparent, maybe, or to a colleague
or somebody else? Then thisprocess, how is that relevant to
that experience? Then we'regoing to show you that being
more connected to yourintuition, to your actual
(21:22):
rational thinking, and givingeverything space before we
actually act out in a in a way,will give you so much more
information in the moment thanyou could ever have previously
thought about a lot of time inbusiness when we have to make
extreme decisions that couldpotentially, you know, send us a
bankrupt almost, or certainlycould go 50-50 it's like, well,
(21:43):
if I'd make this your choicehere, but there's also potential
that I'm going to 10x what we'vegot as well. I have to
rationally think out how that'sgoing to be approaching. If
you're coming at it from a placeof of fear and of not connected
to who you are, then you'regoing to make the wrong decision
flat out, and you're going to beconstantly trying to manage all
of the expectations around you,or all the people around you at
(22:03):
the same time,
BEATE CHELETTE (22:04):
but people so here's, I think, where it gets
really interesting, because justjudging at what's going on right
now around us, people go andthey look for information that
confirms what they alreadybelieve in, and then They think
it's logical, and they're facts.
Are they facts and Is itlogical, or is there a part
about our brain that is tryingto trick us into being more? I
(22:28):
had this exchange yesterday, andsomebody said that he believes
that a particular statement thatsomebody made was correct, and
then somebody says, well, it'snot correct, because what this
person said affects me in anegative way, and my business.
(22:48):
And this was a conversationabout tariffs my business, you
know, instead of $5 it costs now$22 and then this person said,
Well, you have to prove that tome. And I'm looking at this and
I'm going, like, Wait, dude, sowait, you take in what somebody
says to you with no proof, butthat's the truth, but the person
(23:12):
that counters what you believein needs to provide proof for
you to believe it, which isridiculous. Is there an ultimate
truth in all of this anyway, oris it all made up stories to
begin with? And we just need toknow we are always telling
ourselves stories.
Siamon Emery (23:29):
It's audiology. If you're ideologically aligned to
it, to a to an outcome, or to aperson, you're going to defend
that that that position to the
BEATE CHELETTE (23:38):
grave, regardless, that is the story.
Then,
Siamon Emery (23:41):
yep, his audio, those people are ideologically
attached to those to thosebelief systems, and because
that's so ingrained in them,because that that them creates
safety for them, it goes, Ohyes, that makes sense to me.
That's really clear. I don'thave to do the research. I'm
fine. That feels right in mybody, because everything else
feels really scary, but thatreally feels right, that person
(24:02):
seems to be in controlAbsolutely, and I'm not going to
do any fact checking. I'm notgoing to do any I'm not going to
listen to anybody else'sproblem. This is the the hill
that I'm going to stand on withthis and nobody can reach me on
this hill. And that's totallyfine. They can do it. They
choose to. But history showsthat, you know, eventually
people who hold on to ideologyor an ideological aspect of
(24:24):
their you know, in their beliefsystem usually doesn't end well
for
BEATE CHELETTE (24:29):
them. No, it certainly does not so do I then
need to be conscientious aboutwhat my brain tells me, because
that, I think, is the realdifficult part. Simon, yeah, is
that, if I can even trust my ownbrain and my own thinking, we
kind of like all screwed,because if this is my belief
(24:53):
system, and I was raised tobelieve this, and now I'm
listening to the show, and yougo like, Oh, hmm. It may not be
all that it's made out to
Siamon Emery (25:04):
it's it's not about, but it may not be what
it's all made out to be,absolutely that experience that
you had in your childhood isabsolutely there. It's, I'm not
saying that we deny it at all.
What I'm saying is we giveenough attention and noise for a
one of a better word to thebeautiful parts of it as well.
So we balance out. We've justgo, hey, you know, this was
really crappy for a long time,and I had some crap stuff, but
(25:27):
also there was some reallybeautiful times. And so what
that does in what you're whatthe answer with the question
you've just answered, is then wecome more into a connected space
where we are using like it'sit's, we are using more critical
thinking areas of our brain thatgives us the capacity, then
actually to make rationalunderstandings about what people
(25:50):
are saying, and also allow theperson in front of us to have
their opinion what they saydoesn't directly affect me,
Because I'm safe, I'm connected.
I know my truth. Have to thenforce anyone else in front of me
to change their opinion. They'refree to have their opinion.
They're free to have theirworth, their understanding.
That's fine. That doesn't affectme. It doesn't so what we're
(26:14):
trying to do is, as you can see,you know what's happening in
this moment is the world is in areally bad place. I'm going to
align my nervous system and myway of being and my life to you
because you've resonated, you'vecreated a resonance in my body
that says, Yes, I'm validated.
Yes, it's not safe, but justbecause it's not safe doesn't
mean it's relevant to what thisguy is saying. This person's
(26:36):
life is just not safe from achildhood perspective. So they
attached that understanding,that childhood experience, on to
this person, that then they go,here's my savior. Yes, he
understands me. My fear is sogreat, that fear, they're not
identifying the fear, where thefears come from. Like you said
with the wagon, they're notlooking in the wagon. They're
just dragging it with them andgoing, Hey, here's my savior.
(26:58):
Ideology approach. So it'sreally a Liz, a lizard brain
thinking it's a limbic system.
And I know how to do it so well.
A lot of people know how to doit so well.
BEATE CHELETTE (27:07):
So if I want to create the future, you're saying
that I have to figure out on howto release the trauma. But it
may not necessarily be releasingin the way we have heard
therapist, but by replacing itwith more pleasant memories,
which we also all have, just
Siamon Emery (27:28):
replacing, just including, oh, okay, yeah,
BEATE CHELETTE (27:32):
that's true. And I certainly noticed that when
these memories came back of whatactually happened, it's very
difficult with that overwhelmingnegative emotion, then to go,
oh, yeah, but we always hadbirthday parties when we were
children, and they were nicebirthday parties, and we got to
go to movies. And then there's apart of my brain where, where my
(27:57):
brain was to go? Well, but wasshe not just too lazy to bake
her own cake, and did she notwant to have you in the house?
And is that why she sent you tothe movie theater with your
friends, so that she didn't haveto do the work? And so I can see
what you're saying is that whatwas a pleasant experience,
because who doesn't like to goto see a movie with a bunch of
(28:19):
chocolate bars in their hands isnow tainted by a different
experience, and it's almost likebeing dark hint. And I might now
drag a good experience into abad experience. What I'm hearing
that's
Siamon Emery (28:35):
exactly what you're hearing, how I want you
to really start to reframe it orthink about it. You're an adult,
you're actually reallysuccessful in many ways. Yeah,
so when you look back to theanimal, I'm going to use a
little bit of internal familysystems here, okay, when you
look back to that part in yourlife, to that child in your
life, what did she need in that
BEATE CHELETTE (28:56):
moment? She needed just to know that she was
fine, that she was a good kid.
Siamon Emery (29:06):
And so now can you, from this point of view
today, from you, the person youare today,
BEATE CHELETTE (29:11):
can you go back and tell her that, oh, I've told
her that. We've been, we've beenhaving lots and lots of
conversations,
Siamon Emery (29:17):
right? So you've told her that. Now I yeah, I
did. Can you go back and let herfeel that, feel what it feels
like to be safe, to feel what itfeels like to make it, to how
you've made it now, what does itfeel like to have be the woman
you are, the successful womanyou are today, to go back to
there and sit with her and sayhey, and you're actually the
(29:38):
mother to her now you're the onewho goes back to her and say,
you're going to be great. You'redoing really well. You're
BEATE CHELETTE (29:45):
actually doing that was that was an incredibly
powerful experience to go intothat room after after a beating,
and say, You know what, the next10 years are going to suck, but
you're strong. You're going tomake it, and one day you're
going to help. Lot of people,and this is, these experiences
are going to shape who you are,but you're going to be okay.
Siamon Emery (30:07):
But the major difference here is is, not only
are you going to be okay, hey,you're fine. So creating the
capacity to feel the grief ofthat childhood, and that's okay,
it's welcome. All versions of meare welcome here. I'm not
suppressing anything. I'mallowing everything to be here.
All of it is welcome now,through creating the safety in
(30:29):
my body, through creating areally regulated space, I can
help that part of me co regulatethrough me. I know it sounds a
little bit esoteric, but this ishow it works. I
BEATE CHELETTE (30:39):
actually don't think this sounds too esoteric
at all. I think that theawareness is definitely rising
for people who don't want tocarry the baggage anymore, and
they don't want to carry thebaggage of their parents, I'm
not here to solve that. I'm hereto solve my own story. And I
(31:00):
think that's really the messagethat I'm hearing from you, is
that we have a choice. So as weclosing this interview, talk to
me about what is the choice wewant to leave our audience with
Siamon Emery (31:14):
healing and wholeness is available to
everyone, from all walks oflife, from all experiences, from
every adverse childhoodexperience you could ever, ever
want to experience. We werenever not whole. Yeah, we were
never not whole. We were justgiven experiences from people
who didn't know any betterthemselves. We thought that they
(31:34):
weren't whole when they wereactually whole as well. I can
balance out my my world. I cansay that that actually for me,
but all of my experiences havecreated a life for me that's
amazing. I travel the world withwhat I do, and I talk, get to
talk to amazing people likeyourself. I get to live in
beautiful countries, and I getto help like minded people like
(31:56):
myself. So would I ever want totake my experience, childhood
experience away. Never it'screated this person, this
version of me that actually Ilove deeply right now. But if
with more that we dig into it,you'll see that actually more
and more of those experiencesshould be more relevant to who
you are. I
BEATE CHELETTE (32:14):
absolutely love that. So Siamon, for somebody
who now wants to get in touchwith you and learn about the
work you do, because they areready to let it all go and
recreate the story. Where do wesend
Siamon Emery (32:24):
them? Certainly just my web page. Simon Emery,
so it's S, I, A, M, O N, E M,for Mark E-R-Y.com, is my web
page. You can certainly book afree 30 minute call. I'm also on
Instagram and Facebook. SiamonEmery read in Simon green. But
yes, so yeah, there's plenty of
BEATE CHELETTE (32:44):
and all that and all, and we'll have it
definitely in the show notes foryou, for our listeners, so you
can, you can follow them up, andthat is it for us for today.
Thank you so much for beinghere. What an interesting
interview we had,
Siamon Emery (32:56):
fantastic B. Thank you so much for having me. It's
been a pleasure, and
BEATE CHELETTE (33:00):
that's it for us, for today, please, if so, if
you know somebody who is maybe,in your opinion, carrying a
little bit too heavy of aburden, or focuses on maybe some
of the things that could beshifted into a more positive
experience, please share thisinterview and help them to also
be one of those people thatsays, I love my life, because I
(33:22):
think that's everybody deservesthat, and with that, I say
goodbye and I see you next time.
So appreciate you being here.
Thank you so much for listeningto the entire episode. Please
subscribe to the podcast, giveus a five star review, a comment
and share this episode with onemore person so that you can help
us help more people. Thank youagain, until next time. Goodbye.
Hi everyone. My name is Siamon Emery, creator of
(00:03):
Somatic Progression. And in thisepisode of The Growth Architect,
we get to talk about how we canreframe some of the most
traumatic experiences that we'veexperienced, either through
childhood or in our adult years,to one of connection and love,
how this healing is available toeveryone and how from this
(00:23):
moment on, we can change totallythe story that we want to share
with everybody else. Hope to seeyou in the podcast. And
BEATE CHELETTE (00:31):
Hello, fabulous person! Beate Chelette here. I
am the host of the BusinessGrowth Architect Show, and I
want to welcome you to today'sepisode where we discuss how to
navigate strategy andspirituality to achieve time and
financial freedom. Trulysuccessful people have learned
how to master both a clearintention and a strategy to
(00:53):
execute that in a spiritualpractice that will help them to
stay in alignment and onpurpose. Please enjoy the show
and listen to what our guesttoday has to say about this very
topic. Welcome back. BeateChelette here from the Business
Growth Architect Show, and todayI am live with Siamon Emery, and
(01:14):
Simon is going to talk aboutsomething I think many of us
kind of know, kind of know theyneed to deal with, kind of do a
little bit, but are they reallyand that is, are you willing to
look at the trauma that you'veexperienced, the story that
trauma represents in your life,and what are you going to do
(01:34):
with it? And Siamon, you are theman that will answer all these
questions. Welcome to the
Siamon Emery (01:43):
show to answer the questions presented to me, the
answer so but yes, I and you gotabout a half hour or so. Yeah,
perfect. All I need. Perfect forsomebody
BEATE CHELETTE (01:52):
who has never heard of you is not familiar
with your work, will you tellthem what it is that you do and
what problem do you solve foryour clients?
Siamon Emery (02:00):
Well, literally, I solve a process that's basically
called fear conditioning. So we,if we come into it to an
experience. Look, it can bechildhood based around
childhood, not a problem. Yes,it also can be based around,
also experiences in ouradolescence or our early
formative years. And so what weusually tend to happen and we'll
have a negative experience, orwe'll have an experience that
(02:20):
sticks with us, or stays withus, we'll then get a
conditioning around thatexperience that will say to us,
or into our limbic system, whichis like our emotional brain,
that that's not fun or That'snot nice. So I don't want to go
there anymore. And so then we'lldo put things and stuff in our
life to avoid some of thosescenarios. And so it can really
simply be like, Okay, I don'twant to be in that job anymore
(02:42):
because I had a really badexperience in that job, that job
interview, or that experiencewith starting this business, or
with hanging around this type ofperson, it can be all of those
things, you know, intertwinedtogether, and then we can all
lump it into this bigconditioning space where we go,
oh, that's that's something thatI'm just going to now leave
because that was a badexperience that I no longer wish
(03:02):
to explore anymore, because so
BEATE CHELETTE (03:04):
is it like, you know, like I used to have a lot
of friends in advertising and orin publishing, and then is that
what? When they say, I hate thepublishing industry or
advertising sucks, I have a badexperience, but I'm not dealing
with my one bad experience. NowI have to find something or
someone to be at fault. Is thatwhat it is correct?
Siamon Emery (03:26):
So then we look at it from, so is that experience?
Then if we have that one badexperience, yeah. And then we
look at it from in isolation,and then we go, okay, it must be
that experience that's actuallycreated the reaction that I have
in isolation. So then we use theexperience as a way to avoid
then those scenarios, or thosesituations again, in those life
(03:47):
because in our experience, thatsituation said that was not
nice, that was not fun, that wasnot that was uncomfortable, that
made me scared, that made mefeel unsafe. And so then we sit
with the actual scenario, andthen we don't, and then we it's
so much easier for us just toleave that as it is and not
actually investigate in further.
Because why
BEATE CHELETTE (04:07):
would we? Let's go right there. So let's say
that the reason I did this isn'tbecause I had a bad experience.
I mean, I did have a badexperience. That's the truth,
because my boss did saysomething or give credit to
someone else, but that byitself, I may be able to shrug
(04:29):
off on normal circumstances andsay, Well, that just happens.
People don't know better, orthey do what they do, but you
say there might be anunderlying, deeper trauma to it.
And so let's talk about how, howdoes this sort of connect? And I
want to give you an example sowe can make this really real. So
I for those of you watching thisas a video, you'll see me
(04:50):
sitting here in wet hair becauseI literally just got out the
shower, or someone was kindenough to push the interview for
an hour because we had beengifted by an organization. That
helps victims of naturalcatastrophes, with a whole team
of 10 people that come in thedig through your Rubble, and
they try to find trinkets,memories, memorabilias to help
(05:14):
you. And one of the things thatI found was a piece of gold, and
I thought it was about it wasfrom a gold ring, and this
particular gold ring was in aseparate jewelry box, deep
hidden in the closet, becausethe ring was on the hand of my
abuser. And I remember the ringvividly, and I had a visceral
(05:40):
reaction when I inherited thering and I couldn't bear to look
at it. I couldn't bear to wearit. I burned it in the jewelry
box, and now I have this clumpof gold. So what is it about
something like this? Like traumaa trigger? Is it? What's the
story like? Help us figure outit's a ring. I mean, it has no
(06:04):
meaning, really. It's a ring.
It's a gold ring with a bunch ofstones in it, but it's just a
ring. But what is it about thesymbolism of something like that
that catches us so hard? Well,
Siamon Emery (06:17):
no, it isn't just a ring for you, though, Beate.
It's not just a ring. It's notjust a clump of gold with some
with some gems in it, with somecolored stones in it. That's not
at all what it is, what it is,what it represents, and the
symbolism of it is directly backto your abuser. Does your body
instantly say this as it's aseven in the depths of that
emotional experience you'rehaving, you've buried it
(06:38):
completely away from you don'teven know. You can't even
remember, potentially, probably,that it was there during the
fire. And then all of a sudden,when you're sifting through,
what's the first thing that youthink that you've come across
pain? Yeah. And so then how doyou identify that pain? That
pain sit with you from yourabuser still. So even though
you're in a completely differentemotional response, you still
(07:00):
have a conditioning that holdsyour body in that space of
identifying that experience,that abusive experience,
BEATE CHELETTE (07:10):
that's just nuts, right, if you really think
about it. So I'm an adult, I'vedone a lot of work, certainly
been doing my self developmentwork. And you look at this and
you go, wow, wow. I haveemotions about this. What do we
do? What do we do with and whatdo we tell? Tell our audience
where we say, okay, in order foryou to really get where you need
(07:34):
to go or where you want to go,and you make these choices based
upon where you want to go, notwhat you've been conditioned to
react to. How do we snap themout of it? How we help them out
of it? How do we how do I leavesomething like this behind?
Siamon Emery (07:48):
Well, it starts really with with actually
creating a capacity in thatlimbic system, in that emotional
body, that nervous system. So westart to really work with the
body. So we start to calm itdown as much as we can. We'll
start on this meditative processthat I use. It's actually like a
yoga nidra is that we I rotatethrough the body in different
circumstances and differentunderstandings. Then we just
(08:10):
start to feel, get anunderstanding for what a
feeling, what our body isfeeling in the moment. I
introduced some really subtletechniques to help you calm into
your body. Watch the shouldersdrop, start to yawn a little
bit. And so what we're doing iswe're creating capacity in your
nervous system. So that capacitythen looks like, once you have
that capacity, you don't gostraight into a 10 out of 10
(08:31):
overwhelm when you getconfronted by the same emotional
trigger. You'll go to a three ora five if I'm going to create a
space in your body that's goingto sit with that aspect of
yourself that was abused, sothat that that person, that
little person, I'm assuming,that that young lady, or that
woman who really needed an adultin there, who really needed
somebody to say, you're okay, Ihave you, you're fine, you're
(08:53):
safe. So what we're going to dois we're going to create that
together in your body. So how wedo that is we create the system
and the feeling of connection tothat place. And so what's really
interesting about it, with theway that I work, is, for the
most part, b I don't actuallywant to know about your trauma.
(09:14):
I should. Don't want to knowabout the negative things. I
think you know, Freud'sunderstanding of how we how we
work with with mental issues iswe want to talk about them and
talk therapy and sort of eke outevery little understanding we
can about the experience,whereas, in actual fact, given
my experience,
BEATE CHELETTE (09:33):
it just re traumatizes you over and over
and over again. So
Siamon Emery (09:36):
if talking about that re traumatizes you bit, do
you think that talking aboutreally beautiful and really
connected experiences from yourchildhood can actually re engage
the safety from that space aswell?
BEATE CHELETTE (09:50):
That's a thought I've never had. I understand
that there are certain schoolsof thoughts, you know. The one
is, you know, talk about it,experience what feels like,
release it. Let it go, writethe. Letters, the journals burn
it. I find, very much like whatyou just said, that process does
not work really well for me. Solet's just say, for the sake of
(10:10):
this podcast, we've done that,we're not going to talk about
it. What else is there? So thereis a plant medicine, which I
have done, which I like. Thereis religion, prayer, which many
people do, there are there'smeditation. And so tell us about
this method of yours, thatbecause it's like, it sounds
(10:32):
like it's a combination ofsomatic healing and meditation.
What is it?
Siamon Emery (10:40):
Okay, so it's, it is basically those two things.
So just a quick history into myexperience, right? So I was born
into a to a family of twointravenous drug users. I was
born into what we would call thedrug den in Sydney, and then I
was for the first five years ofmy life. Nothing was was stable.
It was all completely fluid. Iwas passed around. So never any
(11:01):
consistency, and never anybody,and never really anything from
my early stages of remembering,of anything good from that
period of time in my life. Andso obviously I was, you know, I
through the enormous amounts oftherapy, different therapeutic
approaches I went through. I didall of the things I did, all the
EMDR I did psychedelics. I wentand lived in India for a period
of time and got my diploma ofyogic studies. I've been through
(11:24):
so many different things, but asyou say, like, what is the
process? It's like I couldn'tshift it. It was still there. I
was so emotionally self awarethat I COVID Lee knew that that
okay, this experience that I hadas a child is really going to
basically, my trajectory isjail, addiction or death. So
even that space, I knew thatbecause listening, looking at
(11:44):
the the ICE score, so, you know,adverse childhood experiences
says, If you score more thanseven or five, you're this many
more times susceptible to cancerand to all of these other you
know, anyway, we don't need togo down that space. I couldn't
shift it until I went to Indiaand I come back from India.
India was traumatizing on itsown. But what I brought back
from that was this system calledYoga Nidra. So yoga nidra was a
(12:09):
is a body based awareness whereI sit you down. We're just
sitting in front of the camera.
Here you close your eyes. I talksome really, really simple
breathing exercises. We get youconnect into your body. I just
rotate right hand, index finger,middle finger, ring finger,
pinky finger, thumb. So just getyou identifying, get you
visualizing behind the closedeyes. What that initially does
is it starts to pull yourawareness out of this thinking
(12:29):
amygdala sort of figure brain,this limbic system brain that
you've consistently been in forso long. Get you into your body.
Okay, great, I'm in the body.
Where do we go? Right? So in myexperience, what happens when I
consistently think about thenegative things in my life?
Well, then I get a negativereaction that comes back into
(12:50):
myself. I'm like, okay, and Iget this overwhelmed,
consistently, overwhelm,overwhelm, always thinking about
the negative and then alwayslooking around in my environment
to see, to be conditioned, tosee if there was ever that was
ever that was ever going tohappen again, just from that
childhood experience. So what Ireplaced that with then was
like, when was the first time?
So in that state, quietly,sitting here, sitting to myself,
(13:10):
and just asking myself thisreally simple question, when was
the first time I ever felt safe?
And the memory came to me inthat moment, in that instant,
and it was, I was four yearsold, potentially or five. I was
sitting on my grandmother'scouch. She's German. It was
Saturday morning. She brought methe biggest bowl of rice
(13:31):
krispies and the widest, thebiggest amount of sugar you
could ever want as a four yearold boy, wrapped me in a
comforter, and then, and thenput the Saturday morning
cartoons. And so this was thevery first memory where I felt
completely safe, completely seenand completely cared for and
want. And the moment that memorydropped in, that was, it was so
(13:55):
specific to me. It was mymemory. It wasn't anyone else's
memory. It was my memory. Mywhole body dropped, my whole
experience coming to the safetyI was that four year old boy
again, on that couch with thatcomforter, experiencing those
cartoons on a Saturday morning,and then coming out of that
experience and going and thenrealizing, looking at my at at
(14:17):
my own heart rate, at where Iwas feeling, how I was feeling
in my body. I was exhaustedafter the experience, like I'd
finally come into like a like areally connected place. I wasn't
always in an adrenal state. Mydown regulated, like my
pituitary gland, so there was nocortisol running through. And so
then I did a bunch of deeperresearch. I started doing
neuroscience around theunderstanding as well, and
(14:37):
understood that what I was doingwas a body based body awareness
situation that actually changedmy brain state. So it actually
changed it from a conditionspace where I had synapses of
fear, so synapses of hormonesthat were already that were
upregulated to receive cortisol,nor noradrenaline or
norepinephrine, sorry, which iscalled it in the states and and.
(14:59):
Cortisol, so they were hadsynapses in the brain. They're
always really primed to receivethose. I was actually starting
to down regulate those, and thenup regulate these connections of
serotonin. And then as I was upregulating these connections of
safety and love, more morememories and connections of
safety and love started toappear. Why? Because when we're
in that limbic system, whenwe're in that activated state,
(15:22):
we're actually always lookingfor fear. We're always actually
unconsciously from new but athing called neuroception, where
we're in our environment, we'realways passively, even just
looking and feeling for notsafe, because that's what we've
always got to be on guard for.
And so once I was able to turnthat system off and connect it
into safety systems and memoriesthat were relevant to me. I
(15:43):
could actually condition myselfto come more into my intuition,
more into my gut feeling. Icould actually creating those
things into that space where Icould actually be more connected
to my body and less in my head.
The visual that
BEATE CHELETTE (15:59):
I have is like, it's almost like you're taking a
train to a train station, andyou're unhoking One wagon and
you're hooking up another oneinto it, because you are
absolutely correct. I think thatthe subconscious mind, and
people say all kinds of thingsabout the subconscious mind, but
it is programmed in a particularway. It is what it is. It's
there to keep us safe. It'sdoing a phenomenal job. I don't
(16:21):
think God makes mistakes. So ifit would have been not a good
thing, we wouldn't have it. Soit must be reason why it's why
it's still there and so activeall the time. But what you are
saying is that if I give it toomuch value, or if I base my
decision making on that wagonthat I carry around, and I've
(16:44):
never looked what's in thewagon, or why I'm even carrying
the wagon around, or if it'sunnecessarily heavy, or maybe I
don't want the wagon at allanymore, I will continue to
carry that with me. And thenwhat does that do? Because I
think that's really importantfor us to talk about. What I
hear you say, redirect theexperience to a positive
(17:07):
experience, a rethinking,reprogramming, rewiring. What
happens to me if I don't do it?
Well, I
Siamon Emery (17:16):
think we can see what happens to you if you don't
do it. You continually go downthe road of fear, your capacity
to hold spaces of dysregulation.
So if capacity to hold spaces ofnot safe becomes less and less
and less. And I'm sure you canwitness that in some some people
who are who are of advancingage, their ability to hold a
fear state, or to be in afearful place, is really reduced
because they have no capacity toactually, and it's called
(17:39):
allostatic load. So they have nocapacity, actually, to go into
another district loaded state,because their adrenals have been
on for so long that cortisol hasbeen pumping for so long.
There's just no capacity in thebody. So if we've been in that
space where our body has been inthat fight or flight for so
long, and it's been well andtruly taken advantage of in the
media and in these spaces aswell, because what really keeps
(17:59):
people engaged is the fearstate. Is fear we're
BEATE CHELETTE (18:03):
seeing this right now. I think we were
seeing mastery of this. I mean,this is point blank mastery of
keeping people in that state.
Siamon Emery (18:14):
So what happens when you're in a fear state,
there you have an upregulatedlimbic system that amygdala is
then going to take over. So it'scalled amygdala fear
conditioning, or amygdalahijack. That amygdala is going
to take over the prefrontalcortex, or the frontal cortex,
the frontal lobes, right thefrontal lobes is where we have
rational thinking. So if we'rewhere, if we're just
consistently in a fear basedstate, from our limbic system.
(18:36):
Now that limbic system ismillions of years old, actually
probably hundreds of millions.
This limbic system that we haveis has been evolving from the
very first cross state that havethat appeared on this planet,
that fight or flight. That wasthe first brain, what we call
the lizard brain. That was verymuch so the first brain, it was
like, fight, fight, fightflight, or fawn, you know, run
(18:56):
away, fight it, or just sitstill, completely still. And so
that evolutionary process hasbeen with us from the moment,
from the dawn of time on thisplanet. So people who expertly
know how to control that willjust keep feeding you fear and
just keep you and then what thatfear does. It's like somebody
running back into a burningbuilding when they've run out of
it, yeah, and they don't knowthey're in such a fear state,
(19:18):
they'll run out of the buildingand then turn around and run
back in, because they'reactually not you. Actually not
using a rational process,because it's the conditioning of
the brain. The brain doesn'thave the resources to have
actually give us the rationalthought and the fight or flight
system as well. It's one or theother. And that's that's an
evolutionary process as well. Soby then, coming out of that fear
based state, by creatingcapacity, by actually managing
(19:43):
ourselves, by by holdingourselves in safety, let's make
it relevant to you. I'm going togo to an experience in your life
that we're going to go to anexperience in your life that you
may have completely forgottenabout because hasn't been
relevant to you. And then assoon as you find that space, you
go, Oh my gosh, I haven'tthought about that. Years, why
haven't you thought about whyyou were loved and safe? Because
it's actually not relevant toyour current experience, because
(20:04):
you're in a really fearactivated state. So just by
helping you to come back intoyour body, by connecting you to
lived experiences, not anyoneelse's lived experience, we then
have the ability then toactually start to feel the fear
and see the fear for what it is.
BEATE CHELETTE (20:22):
how does this relate to my work, to business?
Now, Because it is the BusinessGrowth Srchitect Show, after
all. So now let's say I havethis, I have these experiences.
I'm cautious. I don't want tolose money. It's scary enough.
The way it is, the market'suncertain. Business is
(20:45):
uncertain. Future is uncertain.
How do I how do I shake it off?
Can I shake it off? What do Ido? I want to run a business. I
need to feed my family. I wantto help more people. I want to
make an impact in this world.
How does this relate to that?
Siamon Emery (20:58):
Well, first of all, we'll talk about, what is
your, what's your Why? Whyyou're actually doing this? Are
you doing it for a reason, to tocreate comfort, or are you doing
it to to prove to somebody, to aparent, maybe, or to a colleague
or somebody else? Then thisprocess, how is that relevant to
that experience? Then we'regoing to show you that being
more connected to yourintuition, to your actual
(21:22):
rational thinking, and givingeverything space before we
actually act out in a in a way,will give you so much more
information in the moment thanyou could ever have previously
thought about a lot of time inbusiness when we have to make
extreme decisions that couldpotentially, you know, send us a
bankrupt almost, or certainlycould go 50-50 it's like, well,
(21:43):
if I'd make this your choicehere, but there's also potential
that I'm going to 10x what we'vegot as well. I have to
rationally think out how that'sgoing to be approaching. If
you're coming at it from a placeof of fear and of not connected
to who you are, then you'regoing to make the wrong decision
flat out, and you're going to beconstantly trying to manage all
of the expectations around you,or all the people around you at
(22:03):
the same time,
BEATE CHELETTE (22:04):
but people so here's, I think, where it gets
really interesting, because justjudging at what's going on right
now around us, people go andthey look for information that
confirms what they alreadybelieve in, and then They think
it's logical, and they're facts.
Are they facts and Is itlogical, or is there a part
about our brain that is tryingto trick us into being more? I
(22:28):
had this exchange yesterday, andsomebody said that he believes
that a particular statement thatsomebody made was correct, and
then somebody says, well, it'snot correct, because what this
person said affects me in anegative way, and my business.
(22:48):
And this was a conversationabout tariffs my business, you
know, instead of $5 it costs now$22 and then this person said,
Well, you have to prove that tome. And I'm looking at this and
I'm going, like, Wait, dude, sowait, you take in what somebody
says to you with no proof, butthat's the truth, but the person
(23:12):
that counters what you believein needs to provide proof for
you to believe it, which isridiculous. Is there an ultimate
truth in all of this anyway, oris it all made up stories to
begin with? And we just need toknow we are always telling
ourselves stories.
Siamon Emery (23:29):
It's audiology. If you're ideologically aligned to
it, to a to an outcome, or to aperson, you're going to defend
that that that position to the
BEATE CHELETTE (23:38):
grave, regardless, that is the story.
Then,
Siamon Emery (23:41):
yep, his audio, those people are ideologically
attached to those to thosebelief systems, and because
that's so ingrained in them,because that that them creates
safety for them, it goes, Ohyes, that makes sense to me.
That's really clear. I don'thave to do the research. I'm
fine. That feels right in mybody, because everything else
feels really scary, but thatreally feels right, that person
(24:02):
seems to be in controlAbsolutely, and I'm not going to
do any fact checking. I'm notgoing to do any I'm not going to
listen to anybody else'sproblem. This is the the hill
that I'm going to stand on withthis and nobody can reach me on
this hill. And that's totallyfine. They can do it. They
choose to. But history showsthat, you know, eventually
people who hold on to ideologyor an ideological aspect of
(24:24):
their you know, in their beliefsystem usually doesn't end well
for
BEATE CHELETTE (24:29):
them. No, it certainly does not so do I then
need to be conscientious aboutwhat my brain tells me, because
that, I think, is the realdifficult part. Simon, yeah, is
that, if I can even trust my ownbrain and my own thinking, we
kind of like all screwed,because if this is my belief
(24:53):
system, and I was raised tobelieve this, and now I'm
listening to the show, and yougo like, Oh, hmm. It may not be
all that it's made out to
Siamon Emery (25:04):
it's it's not about, but it may not be what
it's all made out to be,absolutely that experience that
you had in your childhood isabsolutely there. It's, I'm not
saying that we deny it at all.
What I'm saying is we giveenough attention and noise for a
one of a better word to thebeautiful parts of it as well.
So we balance out. We've justgo, hey, you know, this was
really crappy for a long time,and I had some crap stuff, but
(25:27):
also there was some reallybeautiful times. And so what
that does in what you're whatthe answer with the question
you've just answered, is then wecome more into a connected space
where we are using like it'sit's, we are using more critical
thinking areas of our brain thatgives us the capacity, then
actually to make rationalunderstandings about what people
(25:50):
are saying, and also allow theperson in front of us to have
their opinion what they saydoesn't directly affect me,
Because I'm safe, I'm connected.
I know my truth. Have to thenforce anyone else in front of me
to change their opinion. They'refree to have their opinion.
They're free to have theirworth, their understanding.
That's fine. That doesn't affectme. It doesn't so what we're
(26:14):
trying to do is, as you can see,you know what's happening in
this moment is the world is in areally bad place. I'm going to
align my nervous system and myway of being and my life to you
because you've resonated, you'vecreated a resonance in my body
that says, Yes, I'm validated.
Yes, it's not safe, but justbecause it's not safe doesn't
mean it's relevant to what thisguy is saying. This person's
(26:36):
life is just not safe from achildhood perspective. So they
attached that understanding,that childhood experience, on to
this person, that then they go,here's my savior. Yes, he
understands me. My fear is sogreat, that fear, they're not
identifying the fear, where thefears come from. Like you said
with the wagon, they're notlooking in the wagon. They're
just dragging it with them andgoing, Hey, here's my savior.
(26:58):
Ideology approach. So it'sreally a Liz, a lizard brain
thinking it's a limbic system.
And I know how to do it so well.
A lot of people know how to doit so well.
BEATE CHELETTE (27:07):
So if I want to create the future, you're saying
that I have to figure out on howto release the trauma. But it
may not necessarily be releasingin the way we have heard
therapist, but by replacing itwith more pleasant memories,
which we also all have, just
Siamon Emery (27:28):
replacing, just including, oh, okay, yeah,
BEATE CHELETTE (27:32):
that's true. And I certainly noticed that when
these memories came back of whatactually happened, it's very
difficult with that overwhelmingnegative emotion, then to go,
oh, yeah, but we always hadbirthday parties when we were
children, and they were nicebirthday parties, and we got to
go to movies. And then there's apart of my brain where, where my
(27:57):
brain was to go? Well, but wasshe not just too lazy to bake
her own cake, and did she notwant to have you in the house?
And is that why she sent you tothe movie theater with your
friends, so that she didn't haveto do the work? And so I can see
what you're saying is that whatwas a pleasant experience,
because who doesn't like to goto see a movie with a bunch of
(28:19):
chocolate bars in their hands isnow tainted by a different
experience, and it's almost likebeing dark hint. And I might now
drag a good experience into abad experience. What I'm hearing
that's
Siamon Emery (28:35):
exactly what you're hearing, how I want you
to really start to reframe it orthink about it. You're an adult,
you're actually reallysuccessful in many ways. Yeah,
so when you look back to theanimal, I'm going to use a
little bit of internal familysystems here, okay, when you
look back to that part in yourlife, to that child in your
life, what did she need in that
BEATE CHELETTE (28:56):
moment? She needed just to know that she was
fine, that she was a good kid.
Siamon Emery (29:06):
And so now can you, from this point of view
today, from you, the person youare today,
BEATE CHELETTE (29:11):
can you go back and tell her that, oh, I've told
her that. We've been, we've beenhaving lots and lots of
conversations,
Siamon Emery (29:17):
right? So you've told her that. Now I yeah, I
did. Can you go back and let herfeel that, feel what it feels
like to be safe, to feel what itfeels like to make it, to how
you've made it now, what does itfeel like to have be the woman
you are, the successful womanyou are today, to go back to
there and sit with her and sayhey, and you're actually the
(29:38):
mother to her now you're the onewho goes back to her and say,
you're going to be great. You'redoing really well. You're
BEATE CHELETTE (29:45):
actually doing that was that was an incredibly
powerful experience to go intothat room after after a beating,
and say, You know what, the next10 years are going to suck, but
you're strong. You're going tomake it, and one day you're
going to help. Lot of people,and this is, these experiences
are going to shape who you are,but you're going to be okay.
Siamon Emery (30:07):
But the major difference here is is, not only
are you going to be okay, hey,you're fine. So creating the
capacity to feel the grief ofthat childhood, and that's okay,
it's welcome. All versions of meare welcome here. I'm not
suppressing anything. I'mallowing everything to be here.
All of it is welcome now,through creating the safety in
(30:29):
my body, through creating areally regulated space, I can
help that part of me co regulatethrough me. I know it sounds a
little bit esoteric, but this ishow it works. I
BEATE CHELETTE (30:39):
actually don't think this sounds too esoteric
at all. I think that theawareness is definitely rising
for people who don't want tocarry the baggage anymore, and
they don't want to carry thebaggage of their parents, I'm
not here to solve that. I'm hereto solve my own story. And I
(31:00):
think that's really the messagethat I'm hearing from you, is
that we have a choice. So as weclosing this interview, talk to
me about what is the choice wewant to leave our audience with
Siamon Emery (31:14):
healing and wholeness is available to
everyone, from all walks oflife, from all experiences, from
every adverse childhoodexperience you could ever, ever
want to experience. We werenever not whole. Yeah, we were
never not whole. We were justgiven experiences from people
who didn't know any betterthemselves. We thought that they
(31:34):
weren't whole when they wereactually whole as well. I can
balance out my my world. I cansay that that actually for me,
but all of my experiences havecreated a life for me that's
amazing. I travel the world withwhat I do, and I talk, get to
talk to amazing people likeyourself. I get to live in
beautiful countries, and I getto help like minded people like
(31:56):
myself. So would I ever want totake my experience, childhood
experience away. Never it'screated this person, this
version of me that actually Ilove deeply right now. But if
with more that we dig into it,you'll see that actually more
and more of those experiencesshould be more relevant to who
you are. I
BEATE CHELETTE (32:14):
absolutely love that. So Siamon, for somebody
who now wants to get in touchwith you and learn about the
work you do, because they areready to let it all go and
recreate the story. Where do wesend
Siamon Emery (32:24):
them? Certainly just my web page. Simon Emery,
so it's S, I, A, M, O N, E M,for Mark E-R-Y.com, is my web
page. You can certainly book afree 30 minute call. I'm also on
Instagram and Facebook. SiamonEmery read in Simon green. But
yes, so yeah, there's plenty of
BEATE CHELETTE (32:44):
and all that and all, and we'll have it
definitely in the show notes foryou, for our listeners, so you
can, you can follow them up, andthat is it for us for today.
Thank you so much for beinghere. What an interesting
interview we had,
Siamon Emery (32:56):
fantastic B. Thank you so much for having me. It's
been a pleasure, and
BEATE CHELETTE (33:00):
that's it for us, for today, please, if so, if
you know somebody who is maybe,in your opinion, carrying a
little bit too heavy of aburden, or focuses on maybe some
of the things that could beshifted into a more positive
experience, please share thisinterview and help them to also
be one of those people thatsays, I love my life, because I
(33:22):
think that's everybody deservesthat, and with that, I say
goodbye and I see you next time.
So appreciate you being here.
Thank you so much for listeningto the entire episode. Please
subscribe to the podcast, giveus a five star review, a comment
and share this episode with onemore person so that you can help
us help more people. Thank youagain, until next time. Goodbye.
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