July 21, 2025 • 32 mins
Had an AHA or Insight? Share it:
Struggling to figure out what you really want? Executive Coach Cassie Shea shares how to uncover your true desire and build a life that is aligned and fulfilling for you.
What do you really want—and more importantly, who do you have to become to make it happen? In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show, Executive Coach Cassie Shea breaks down the most important question you should ask yourself before you anything else: What do I want?
With razor-sharp clarity and deep insights, Cassie outlines how our goals, our plans, and even our identities are often shaped by stories you would never consciously choose.
From corporate pressure to societal expectations, Cassie explains how “mimetic desire” causes us to chase the dreams of others without realizing it. She shares how to strip away the noise and build a life—and business—based on what brings you fulfillment. Her powerful identity framework shows you how to shift your internal story, realign your actions, and make bold, aligned decisions that reflect who you’re consciously want to become, not repeating what others shaped you to be.
Cassie’s approach is grounded, practical, and deeply personal. She’s been there—and she’s helped others rise, too. 🎯 Don’t just listen. Take action. Grab her free journal prompts and explore her coaching work at coaching.cassieshea.com and create to design the life you desire that is worthy of you.
Resources Mentioned: Website | LinkedIn
Aligned Freedom Self-Assessment
Possibility Thinking: Identity Worksheet [GIFT]
_____________________
We appreciate you, thank you for listening. Let us know in the comments what resonated in this episode, we want to hear from you.
Leave a comment, like, share with one person who needs to hear the message our guest shared.
Take our QUIZ and find out what your talent is worth in this market: What's Your Talent Worth (http://WhatsYourTalentWorth.com)
Follow us on Instagram:
Check us out on Tik Tok:
Work With Us
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cassie Shea ✨ (00:00):
Cassie, Hi, I'm Cassie Shea. I'm so excited to
(00:02):
be here with you. I'm anexecutive coach who specializes
in guiding people deeper intoawareness of their true desire
and helping create an identitystory so you can become the
person who receives that desireand lives a life of true
alignment and fulfillment. Oneof my favorite things is to take
our deep desire and actuallyoperationalize that into a plan
(00:24):
we can work towards on the show,I'm going to talk a lot about
desire. How do we find it? Whyis what? What do I want? The
most difficult question toanswer and talk about some ways
that we can get to know ourdesire and allow that to speak
life and process over ourbusiness decisions.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:46):
This is the Business Growth Architect Show
for founders who don't followtrends. They set them for
entrepreneurs who aren't here tofix the past, but to build the
future they actually want tolive in. Hi. My name is Beate
Chelette I'm a Palisades firesurvivor strategist and the
entrepreneur behind a multimillion dollar tech exit to the
(01:07):
gates. And every week I bringyou the fire real guests, real
strategy and the real talk onhow to control your mind move
fast and create your future.
This is where strategy needsenergy, because your next level
needs both. Let's grow. Welcomeback. BEATE, the Growth
(01:31):
Architect today with me isCassie Shea, and Cassie is going
to talk about something I findreally interesting concept, and
it's a concept of identity, andhow you look at your identity
and how that kind of likeaffects everything that you do.
Cass, I'm really excited to haveyou on the show. Thank you for
being here.
Cassie Shea ✨ (01:50):
Thank you so much. I'm so excited when
spirituality meets a system inany way.
BEATE CHELETTE (01:57):
And today you're bringing a topic to the show
that I find really fascinating.
It's a topic of identity. Can wemaybe just start with talking
about, what is identity like?
How is identity defined? Yeah,
Cassie Shea ✨ (02:11):
the the way we start is it's the story we tell
ourselves about who we are. Ifwe are designing a new brand or
design a new company. Typically,we do a couple things. We name
it, and we create a message. Wecreate a brand script, we create
a story about the brand. Andwhat I realized is we as
leaders, are the instrument.
Everything we do, how we showup, creates a resonance. And
(02:35):
often we're we're kind ofrushing to build the brand, this
this baby externally, and one ofthe missing pieces, if we have
this really big goal or bigdream and we don't necessarily
hit it, or we don't feel likewe're quite on track to hit it,
or we've taken a super severeleft turn, which I've done a
couple times, identity isdriving that Story underneath,
(02:57):
just like a brand script woulddrive the marketing efforts, and
the way that we talk about abrand in public identity is
driving a leader's decisions,and it drives the way we see
opportunities.
BEATE CHELETTE (03:11):
The question that now immediately comes to
mind is identity. Story is theidentity the story is the story
something different than theidentity, like, how do these two
things even connect? One
Cassie Shea ✨ (03:26):
of my friends and I were having a conversation
today about alignment. How doyou how do you get into
alignment with your designversus alignment with your
conditioning? So to answer thatquestion, with identity is the
story? I think we all have aconditioned story. The story I
had was I have to work really,really hard. I need to prove
that I'm valuable as the onlywoman here. I need to somewhat
(03:49):
act like a man. I mean, nobodygave me that script, nobody
handed me that story, but thatwas how I internalized my
circumstances. And what Irealized with the power of
identity is now as a coach, Ilike to work a work a lot with
the future. What do we want tocreate? What do we want to bring
into life? What are we dreamingup next? And I believe the
(04:11):
story, like future cast now, hasmore impact on the present than
my past self. I talked to awoman yesterday, and she has a
mastermind of nine women, andshe teaches them how to invest,
how to open up more doors todeals. And her goal by the end
of the year is to get to 100members in this mastermind. And
(04:32):
then she started playing with itduring the conversation, and
she's like, well, what would itlook like actually, if I got
1000 or even 10,000 Well, if youset your goal at 100 you're
gonna have a certain identitystory of I run a mastermind of
100 people. There's certaindecisions you make, there's a
way you carry yourself. There'sa list of activities that become
priority at that point. But ifyou change the goal to say, I
(04:53):
wanna actually take my work andimpact 1000 people, or I wanna
impact 10,000 people in the nextmonth, you'd have to. Radically
change how you show up, how youlead, where you place your time
and attention. You'd also haveto change your belief in
yourself. You'd have to changethe story from I'm operating the
small mastermind, or I'm in thestartup phase, to wow, I'm
(05:14):
bringing enterprise value intothe world, and I'm going to show
up in a different way. So when Isay identity has has a story
component. I think it's fluid,because we can change it. And I
think a lot of us, some operatefrom our our conditioning versus
our design, that we operate sortof the playbook we feel like
we've inherited, instead ofrealizing we have sovereign
(05:37):
power to create a new storyabout what's possible for
ourselves.
BEATE CHELETTE (05:41):
So then, then, would it be fair to say that
there's a story I tell myselfbecause it's the story I was
taught. I believe that's thestory, that's the story of my
life. It's the reason why I amwho I am. And you say, the
minute I understand this conceptof an identity, now I have the
power to define what thisidentity is, but it typically is
(06:04):
not who I am today.
Cassie Shea ✨ (06:06):
I have a lot of agency over that identity, like
I understand that identity isn'tfixed. So when it comes to the
really big goals, especiallywhen it comes to work or things
we're dreaming up or want tocreatively birth into the world.
A lot of times, the identitiesthat we've been given, the
identities that are fixed, wemight feel a low sense of
(06:26):
agency, things like my currenteconomic situation or my
education level. You know, Iinherited this. This path like
this is where I am. This is howmuch success I've been able to
hold up until now. It becomes aset point. And I believe if we
want to create somethingextraordinary, we want to move
in a big way, to createsomething different and new. The
(06:48):
best lover, a lot of us that arehigh achievers would make a
plan. We'd create a spreadsheet.
We'd seek a mentor. We'd figureout the path in a linear way.
We'd know, you know, I need toreverse engineer the steps to
get there, but I think thespiritual alchemy, or at least
the invite of possibility, is,what if we change the story
about who we are first, becausethat story is going to inform
(07:09):
how we see the future and how wetake action. So in order for me
BEATE CHELETTE (07:16):
to change that story about myself or how I see
myself, so you said somethingabout you work a lot with
desire. Desire in the future. Ithink desire is connected to
purpose. So take me through sortof this process of, if I say I
(07:38):
want to achieve something, howthis concept of identity helps
me help helps me manifest, asin, get there
Cassie Shea ✨ (07:45):
faster. The first question I always start with for
every client, regardless of agestage, how many years they owned
a business, what their incomeis, the first question I always
start with is, what do you want?
And give you a very difficultquestion to answer. In fact,
it's probably one we come backto again and again in coaching
that gives the most resistance.
(08:05):
And it's interesting, because acouple of things that I realize
get in the way of answering thequestion of, what do I want? One
is mimetic desire. It's thisidea that there's sort of this
collective desire. When I wasyoung in my career, 15 plus
years ago, the whole goal was toget to a six figure job, right?
Like, didn't matter what you didor how happy you were, how good
BEATE CHELETTE (08:25):
you were at it, the matrix demanded, yes, six
figures.
Cassie Shea ✨ (08:29):
And then I got six figures, and I was like,
well, shoot, now what like thisis a really terrible situation.
I don't even like this, but Ididn't have a filter, because I
was swept up with the memeticdesire. Five and a half years
ago, when I started my job, thenew memetic desire is, oh, you
have a new company. You have tohit a million dollars. You're
worth nothing. It doesn't matterif you have multi six figures
(08:49):
and you work 10 hours a weekdoing something you love, like
that's all BS, unless you hit amillion dollars. It's memetic
desire at work. So part of theconditioning, I think, with
answering this question, what dowe want? Is actually stripping
away the noise, the external,the external. Yeah questions,
noise perceptions, perhaps otherpeople have put on us our upper
(09:12):
limits, what we feel like wedeserve, and also the memetic
desire, like being able to saylike I want, what I want without
any justification. The otherthing that gets in the way of
answering what I want, or getsin the way of desire, is shame.
I think guilt is actuallysometimes really helpful. Guilt
is, oh, shoot, I did somethingbad. I want to make repair in
this relationship, or I want toown, take full responsibility
(09:33):
for my side of whatever justhappened. Shame is I am bad. So
if guilt is a sometimes helpful,conscious reminder, Oh, I did
something bad. Shame is I ambad, and shame can get in the
way also of what we desire. Ithink it can blunt our desire,
because we're carrying aroundthis concept that I'm not
enough, or I need to build mydream to prove that I'm okay, or
(09:56):
prove my enoughness. And so.
Once we once we're able toanswer our authentic and true
desire, then we build anidentity story around that. So
for example, I was going to giveone that's personal, but I feel
like I'm very much in flux. SoI'm doing this work on myself.
There's been like, multipleiterations. One I can go back to
that's fresh is in the beginningof my career, I just exited a w2
(10:18):
role, or I was managing directorat this large media company, and
I immediately started coachingother women in high performing
tech roles. So I coached womenin Amazon, Facebook, Google,
IBM, Slack, and it almost feltlike corporate PTSD. I was like,
Oh my gosh, we're having thesame conversations about
executive presence and conflict,and this doesn't really fulfill
(10:39):
my soul, like I'm happy becauseI'm making my own income and I'm
on my schedule and I'm coaching,but I'm not really doing the
work that brings me alive. So mynext identity shift was to
actually take on the identity ofcreator. I am a creator, and I'm
creative, to really own mycreativity. And then I asked,
well, what? What would thatidentity story do different as a
(11:01):
coach than what I'm doing now. Idon't feel like I'm being very
creative. I feel like I'mpainting by numbers, like I
already know all the answers tothese questions. My creativity
feels very dull. And so thatcreative identity led me to
shift my focus to coachingentrepreneurs, because I love
being closer to the creationcycle, to the unknowns, and also
the the lights of bringingsomething to life or to light
(11:26):
for the first time. And sothat's one way that my own
identity transformation affectedhow I started building my
business. And that was the pointactually where I started making
multiple six figures in a year.
Was when I actually took on theidentity that I'm a creator. So
it wasn't an identity storylinked to I need to make more
(11:47):
money. It's actually I deeplywant more fulfillment, and I'm
feeling like something is alittle misaligned. And that was
a really big shift for me abouttwo and a half or three years
ago to start owning my owncreativity and then attracting
and magnetizing and working withpeople who are highly creative
as well. So
BEATE CHELETTE (12:09):
you said the question, what do you want? So I
think the most difficultquestions for anybody that walks
through my door, because they'venever thought about it, it's not
a question that's being asked,because when you're deep in the
matrix or in the hustle or inthe grind, whatever you want to
call it, you do what you need todo to survive, to get there, to
buy the car, buy the house, totake care of the kids, to send
(12:30):
them to private school. I mean,there's just this non stop, non
stop line up of things we haveto achieve. Why do you think
people have a hard time knowingtheir desire, or knowing what
they want, what's in the way ofthat, because we have to remove
that first to get anywhere.
Cassie Shea ✨ (12:48):
I think it's both specific and unique and also
somewhat universal. I thinkmimetic desire plays into a
little bit, you said, TheMatrix, the I would call it the
checklist, like that checklistof I need the perfect marriage,
the perfect home, the perfectkids, the perfect car, the
perfect place of worship, like,whatever it is, like, I need the
perfect country club membership.
Like, I actually do need that.
(13:09):
Like, I really do want that. Idon't need it. It would be fun
to have. But there's this,
BEATE CHELETTE (13:15):
can we explain the concept of nomadic desire?
Because you've now said itmultiple times. I want to make
sure our audience knows exactlyhow you refer to it in what the
context of it is.
Cassie Shea ✨ (13:26):
Yeah, it's the herd mentality. It's the
collective wish, like whateveryone else is thinking or
wanting, the Jonesscientifically, the Joneses, and
scientifically, we areinfluenced highly by what the
collective desires. I thinkanother way to say it is like
keeping up with the Joneses, butyou almost wonder, like, why?
(13:50):
Like, was that actually me, orwas that sort of an idea
implanted in me? Yeah,
BEATE CHELETTE (13:56):
and I think we see this all the time. It is
fascinating to me when you hearthese Well, the general opinion
on this is, and I said, How doyou know? How do you know? How
do you know? How do you know ifit's true? And there really
isn't an answer to that, per se.
So I believe that, in order toget to this question. And the
(14:20):
reason, you know, we asking thisquestion today for our audience
is to to clarify that in orderfor you to get anywhere, you got
to get this, this questionanswered, and that that answer
to the question is going tobecome your identity to a large
part. Give me like an example onhow do you take somebody through
this now, so you ask them, Whatdo you want? And they they go
(14:43):
like, I want to make a lot ofmoney. I want to take nice
vacations. And we're backsomewhat in the matrix of of the
things that they know how tosay, because that's what
everybody else says. And then,of course, they're going to say
happiness and whatever, a lot ofsex, and I want to have. Great
intimacy, and I want to have agreat family. So these are like
all, check, check, check, check,check, check, check, check, but
(15:03):
that's not necessarily desire.
That's a want. What's thedifference between a want and a
desire?
Cassie Shea ✨ (15:15):
For me, it's a really felt sense in my body. So
I'm gonna go with that in termsof running it through your
somatic wisdom. And I hopethat's an invite for everyone
listening. For me, thedifference between a want and
desire, want to something, italmost feels transactional. It's
like something I know I can get.
I really want to go on an allinclusive resort vacation to
Mexico. So I just booked thatwith a travel agent, and I'm
(15:36):
going next January, and I'm soexcited. I want a vacation where
I do absolutely nothing, thinkabout nothing, plan no meals,
take a book that that was awant. It's transactional. I can
get it. It's sort of easy toalign resources once I'm clear
on that want, I think a desire Ifeel in my body, the response to
(15:56):
this is a desire is somethingthat's sort of pulling me from
the inside out. I believe adesire is somewhat of a divine
compass back to our purpose. AndI think about desire as or how
do we find that, like, how dowe, how do we, as an
archeologist, take like afeather and a frying turd comb
to really find that desire, ifit's elusive to us, I think part
(16:18):
of it is having a mirror, havinga guide. I know you do this for
your clients. It's hard to readthe bottle when you're in it.
It's hard to read the label onthe outside. And so having
trusted guys, you have to pickthem with such care, because
some people superimpose theirdesires or their wants onto you,
and so that's tricky. But interms of desire, how I feel in
(16:40):
myself is like a creative spark,like that very baby beginning
spark on a fire that can developand burn into something bigger.
But I feel desire is, is thecreative pulls the creative fire
from the inside out aboutsomething that wants to almost
be created through me, whetherthat's birthing a book, a
(17:02):
business, a baby, I thinkthere's so many different ways
that desire comes to fruition,sort of out of our body, into
the world. And so I would saydesire is, is that that whisper,
it's usually not loud. ThatWhisper of the thing you can't
totally put down, you can'ttotally ignore your soul is
(17:27):
telling you there's something tothis. I've had my business
desire is the Whisper on thewind so faint we almost might
not hear it, but so unignorable. It's almost like
itching your skin, like it wouldbe uncomfortable to fully ignore
it, but it's subtle. And I don'tthink we're used to listening to
(17:50):
the subtleties of our soul. Idon't think we're used to
pausing enough to hear those
BEATE CHELETTE (17:55):
Yeah, I agree with you. I think this, like
whole idea of rattling, rattlingdown the list is almost, is
almost too easy, because thenI'm just going by what is, what
is commonly acceptable, but adeep desire in manifestation and
spirituality, we talk about thisa lot, is you cannot manifest
(18:16):
anything that has no desire toit. So talk to us now, as we are
uncovering this desire, I thinkthat in this intuition or this
inner voice is that the reason Ineed to listen to this is I
cannot create unless I feel thisdesire. Talk to us about that.
(18:39):
Because now, now we have thedesire, and idea of a desire.
How do I make that big enough,intense enough so I can use it
for manifestation and
Cassie Shea ✨ (18:48):
creation? Yeah, beautiful for me. I put it into
my body. I find it verydifficult to just do it on
paper. So I'll take you throughthe body part and then the paper
piece as a way of hopefullybreaking down this into into a
few steps. But for me, the pathback to to my greatest joy, to
(19:10):
amplifying desire, is thinkingabout when I was a little kid,
what made me feel the mostalive, the most joyful, the most
energized. For me, it's dance. Ilove to dance. As a little kid,
loved it, still love it. And twoyears ago, is in a deep period
of transition from arelationship, from my business
(19:31):
perspective. So I went to thedance studio six seven days a
week. I learned 12 differentstyles of ballroom dance. I
taught ballroom dance. By theend of the year I competed, I
realized that was taking the joyright out of it, sucked the joy
right out to make itperformative. But me ecstatic
dancing on the beach with my ownheadphones at sunrise with a cup
(19:52):
of tea, that's where I feelreally alive. That's the desire
amplification for me, because Iwant more of that child like
wonder and joy. And creativityto express the joy of creation
without needing utility. And Ithink there's utility to that.
Like, the irony is there is autility to that, because that's
lighting up these creativecenters. It's giving me
interesting ideas. Um, today, Iwas in the ocean at sunrise, 7am
(20:16):
no wetsuit, and that, to me, isthe meditative practice of I'm
still wearing a sweater becauseI'm freezing like seven hours
later. But that's to me, themeditative practice of truly
letting go, floating, beingheld, that experience of oneness
with creation. Like to me,that's the it's like meditation
on steroids. So I put my dreamand I desire on, I try it on, I
(20:38):
go to dance class, I ride ahorse, I get in the water,
whatever brings you that levelof childlike wonder and joy just
creating for the pure pleasureof creating, it starts to light
up your right brain. And all ofour anxiety lives in our left
side of our hemisphere. But onceyou keep amplifying the right
side of the brain, you're goingto start making connections.
(20:59):
You're going to see insightsdifferent. And so I think
that's, to me, one of the mostimportant creative strategies if
you're on this desire birthingpath, and how to amplify your
sense of desire when it comes tohow desire gets connected to
identity. So when I ask a clientvery simply, like, what do you
want? I'll ask them seven layersof why. Why do you want that? I
want a really nice house. Reallynice house. I want a big house
(21:22):
that I feel like as a sanctuary,and I can have all my people
there, and the seven layers ofwhy, if you get to the bottom of
it, is belonging. I want tocultivate and feel a sense of
grounded belonging. And so,because I know that now I can
start looking for moments ofgrounded belonging in my current
sphere, in my current Locus ofControl before I manifest that
(21:45):
big house. So I'm tuning intothe frequency, the vibration of
why I want that thing. And nowI'm really aware, and I'm owning
the emotional capacity that Ican continue building in order
to welcome that thing in. Sothat's one piece of it, and then
the last piece, I'll say interms of the want, the desire,
(22:06):
the embodied creation, the joyof creating, truly for the love
and the pleasure of creating.
The next piece is to do an auditand ask yourself, what is your
current identity story? How areyou showing up? What are the
hats you're wearing in yourbusiness? Who are you being and
if you were to go down this listof desire, and if all of that
were true, what would youridentity shift to? What would be
(22:30):
true? What would be differentabout my identity? And so if
anyone's listening along thethree steps would be starting
with, what do you want? Who areyou showing up as right now? A
really honest assessment, withblameless discernment, no
judgment. How are you showing upright now? And if what you
wanted was true and already realand here and present, who would
(22:52):
you be then? And that becomesthe compass, the way to shift.
Instead of goal attainment, it'sreally goal alignment, goal
embodiment.
BEATE CHELETTE (23:06):
And is it not true that unless you carry that
the goal cannot be achieved,because you have to shift into a
different identity, desire toachieve this next level, unless
you want to hustle, hustle,hustle, hustle, work really hard
and kill yourself in theprocess. So I do believe that
(23:29):
there's two aspects to this.
Nothing wrong with the herdmentality and being like the
Joneses, if that's what you finddesirable to because I know a
lot of people that have achieveda lot following that. However, I
also know that a lot of thesepeople get there, and then they
have the money and the tools andthe toys and the house, but they
don't have purpose, and thenthey're in the quest of finding
(23:49):
the purpose, or you can do whatI think is really emerging, and
that's why we're doing thisshow, is how do you combine both
of them as you're building soyou're not missing out on the
life and the process is that,how you how you look at this, or
is there anything that you wantto add or change to that
assessment?
Cassie Shea ✨ (24:09):
I love how you put those words together. For
me, I'm exploring the phrasealigned ambition as a way of
describing exactly what yousaid. There's nothing wrong with
the having of things. I thinkthe acquisition of things
without the deeper purpose,without the deeper identity
alignment and the, I think,conscious agency that you know
what you're creating and youknow why you're creating it,
(24:31):
maybe that is for some people, Iwant a house, two luxury cars, a
boat. Their purpose is to useall of those items to be more
present with their family,because their parents weren't
present with them. The storyhere a lot for people that want
to create wealth. And so then myquestion becomes, okay, how do
we make an identity story whereyou're present with your family
now, because your family doesn'tneed the house and the boats and
(24:54):
the toys, you could rent apontoon boat for a couple hours,
your kids are gonna have a ballof a time. I just took. My dog
on a pontoon boat the other day,and literally, his face was
blowing in the wind. I don'tthink he's ever been happier. It
didn't take a million bucks forme to be present with the doggy.
It that trip costs less than$200 so looking for those ways
to be in alignment now, versuswaiting for the external reality
(25:16):
to tell us we're allowed to behappy and and be satisfied, then
I think that's one of the bigdifferences.
BEATE CHELETTE (25:22):
Yeah, I agree with you. I think that the
operational roadmap, as I knowyou've called it before, really
comes from the desire. And thedesire determines where we want
to go. And I think you made animportant point, the desire
really has to be aligned withwhere it is that you want to go
as a human, as a person, as anindividual, and whether that's
(25:43):
with kids or dogs or partners,nobody, nobody really cares.
Your desire is your desire, andyou uniquely own this. So
finally, I wanted to find whatmaybe we can leave our audience
with one thought that they haveto watch out what typically is
in the way of doing this.
Because I think that the minutewe make a change, or we decide
(26:05):
to make a change, inevitably theresistance shows up. Talk to us
about that. How do they preparefor that, and what do they need
to prepare for?
Cassie Shea ✨ (26:17):
Yeah, it's a great point. One of the quotes I
hold on to deeply is oppositionoccurs in all things. The
tension of change createsopposition. Resistance would be
another great word for it. Ilove the word. The book The War
of Art by Steven Pressfield, andit talks about, it's the 200
(26:39):
pages just talking aboutresistance. Do the thing anyway,
create anyway. So if you haven'tpicked up that book, that would
be a good one. It's like youcould read a page a day just to
keep yourself motivated. But interms of the question of what
would come up with opposition, Ithink there's two layers to it.
One, I think there's a a momentwhere shame comes into the
(27:01):
picture, or some version of I'mnot enough, I'm not smart
enough, I'm not rich enough, I'mnot ready enough. I'm not
prepared enough. Whatever theenoughness is, it all comes down
to I'm not enough. Whenever Iheard a voiced desire that's
almost inevitably, the nextresistance or roadblock is I'm
not enough. And for some of us,that's been the the beating drum
(27:26):
that's allowed us to achieve alot that I'm not enough, proving
energy has forced us to achievebecause we want to tell that
proving energy we are enough,and so to learn to actually let
that energy go, I would say,love it out of your life, not
force it to go because that'lljust amplify it more, but to
truly love that not enoughenergy out for me, that's looked
(27:48):
like going to therapy. I'm a bigfan of coaching and growth in
the future. For me, the bestpairing has been actually going
to therapy to deal with thatstory of not enoughness and to
learn new tools and to havedifferent levels of support. I
would say the second thing withdesire, a resistance that comes
up is when you take a tenderbaby, fresh, fragile desire, and
(28:11):
you tell a ton of people aboutit, including sometimes our
families, because they see us inthis specific way. If it's a
work desire I'm talking about, Ithink about like my parents see
me as their daughter. Theyalways will, and that's a
blessing and a curse, becausethey don't see sometimes the
emergence, or, as I've been atdinner with certain friends that
have known me for, you know, 15plus years, and I tell them my
(28:34):
my new desire, my bigger dreamor bigger idea. There's been a
few times where people just leanback in their chair and they go,
Cass, you're just delusional.
You've always had delusions ofgrandeur.
BEATE CHELETTE (28:45):
Oh, my God, yes.
Oh no, no no, tell me that isnot so
Cassie Shea ✨ (28:49):
I'm still dear friends to this day because I
know the heart was in the rightplace. Oh, the comment was so
misplaced for a creativeentrepreneur. And so I learned
share your desire in rooms wherepeople are dreaming big.
Community is the currency, Ibelieve, of exponential growth.
And if you're around people whoare doing this work, who are
(29:11):
dreaming bigger, who aredesiring from this place of soul
alignment and and alsoexpanding, literally, their body
and possibilities into more getaround those people, because if
you stay with people who areshrinking and who live the
status quo or who only see youas the cast from 15 years ago,
(29:32):
if that comment had been allowedto germinate and take seed in my
soul, there would have been somedreams I gave up on and my my
direct response, though, at thetime, at the dinner party, was,
if I'm not a little delusionalfor me, who's gonna be, Oh, my
BEATE CHELETTE (29:47):
God, that's just rough. So yeah, as we, as we
wrap this up, I do agree. Iwould really don't share much of
what I do or what my goals arewith any of my immediate. And
family, because I maybesubconsciously have learned my
lessons many, many years agothat the what's normal for me or
(30:09):
what is my reality is not thereality for many other people.
And you put yourself in aposition of judgment, and if we
look at it from the perspectiveof when somebody says you that
is delusional. And let's say yousaid I'm going to take this to
half a million dollars thisyear, and I want to be maybe a
million dollar company, or yousay I want to impact 1000
people, whatever the numbers orthe impact statement is, and
(30:33):
somebody says that's delusional,then you know exactly that they
will never reach that becauseit's not possible for them. But
that's where they stop. And soit just verifies something for
them, nothing for you, and thenthat's easier to overcome. CASS
this has been a really greatconversation, fascinating,
fascinating stuff going thisdeep. Where can we find you? If
(30:56):
our audience wants to find more,find out more about how to find
the identity and maybe breakthrough it and step into their
true desire. Where do they go?
Cassie Shea ✨ (31:03):
Absolutely, I hang out on LinkedIn, so come
find me. Cassie Shea alsocoaching.cassieshae.com, would
be my website. You're welcome tosend me a note there. And I have
a gift for everyone on the showI'm going to send is three
layers of starting to ask yourown desire, what's beneath the
surface? And I have some guidedjournal prompts that you can do
(31:24):
on your own following the show,so that way you can take this
and start getting some insightand creating some embodied
awareness about your desire andwhere that's leading you in
terms of your identity journey.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:36):
Wonderful. Thank you so much. I really appreciate
you being here today. So thankyou for coming to
Cassie Shea ✨ (31:40):
the show my pleasure. Thank you for having
me. And
BEATE CHELETTE (31:44):
that is it for us, for today. So you heard it
here. It's all about, how do youfigure out your true desire? And
that becomes your new identity.
And with that, you get to pursuewhat you want, knowing kind of
like who you need to be and whatyou need to feel to achieve a
particular outcome, and withthat, we say goodbye as always.
If you know someone who mayneeds to hear these words today,
(32:06):
please send them a link to theshow and share, like subscribe
to the podcast. Thank you somuch for listening, and until
next time, that's it for thisepisode of the Business Growth
Architect Show, Founders of theFuture. If you're done playing
small and ready to build thefuture on your terms, subscribe,
(32:26):
share and help us reach moreTrailblazers like you. And if
you're serious about creating,growing and scaling a business
that's aligned with who you are,schedule your uncovery session
uncoverysession.com. Lead withvision. Move with purpose.
Create your future.
Cassie, Hi, I'm Cassie Shea. I'm so excited to
(00:02):
be here with you. I'm anexecutive coach who specializes
in guiding people deeper intoawareness of their true desire
and helping create an identitystory so you can become the
person who receives that desireand lives a life of true
alignment and fulfillment. Oneof my favorite things is to take
our deep desire and actuallyoperationalize that into a plan
(00:24):
we can work towards on the show,I'm going to talk a lot about
desire. How do we find it? Whyis what? What do I want? The
most difficult question toanswer and talk about some ways
that we can get to know ourdesire and allow that to speak
life and process over ourbusiness decisions.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:46):
This is the Business Growth Architect Show
for founders who don't followtrends. They set them for
entrepreneurs who aren't here tofix the past, but to build the
future they actually want tolive in. Hi. My name is Beate
Chelette I'm a Palisades firesurvivor strategist and the
entrepreneur behind a multimillion dollar tech exit to the
(01:07):
gates. And every week I bringyou the fire real guests, real
strategy and the real talk onhow to control your mind move
fast and create your future.
This is where strategy needsenergy, because your next level
needs both. Let's grow. Welcomeback. BEATE, the Growth
(01:31):
Architect today with me isCassie Shea, and Cassie is going
to talk about something I findreally interesting concept, and
it's a concept of identity, andhow you look at your identity
and how that kind of likeaffects everything that you do.
Cass, I'm really excited to haveyou on the show. Thank you for
being here.
Cassie Shea ✨ (01:50):
Thank you so much. I'm so excited when
spirituality meets a system inany way.
BEATE CHELETTE (01:57):
And today you're bringing a topic to the show
that I find really fascinating.
It's a topic of identity. Can wemaybe just start with talking
about, what is identity like?
How is identity defined? Yeah,
Cassie Shea ✨ (02:11):
the the way we start is it's the story we tell
ourselves about who we are. Ifwe are designing a new brand or
design a new company. Typically,we do a couple things. We name
it, and we create a message. Wecreate a brand script, we create
a story about the brand. Andwhat I realized is we as
leaders, are the instrument.
Everything we do, how we showup, creates a resonance. And
(02:35):
often we're we're kind ofrushing to build the brand, this
this baby externally, and one ofthe missing pieces, if we have
this really big goal or bigdream and we don't necessarily
hit it, or we don't feel likewe're quite on track to hit it,
or we've taken a super severeleft turn, which I've done a
couple times, identity isdriving that Story underneath,
(02:57):
just like a brand script woulddrive the marketing efforts, and
the way that we talk about abrand in public identity is
driving a leader's decisions,and it drives the way we see
opportunities.
BEATE CHELETTE (03:11):
The question that now immediately comes to
mind is identity. Story is theidentity the story is the story
something different than theidentity, like, how do these two
things even connect? One
Cassie Shea ✨ (03:26):
of my friends and I were having a conversation
today about alignment. How doyou how do you get into
alignment with your designversus alignment with your
conditioning? So to answer thatquestion, with identity is the
story? I think we all have aconditioned story. The story I
had was I have to work really,really hard. I need to prove
that I'm valuable as the onlywoman here. I need to somewhat
(03:49):
act like a man. I mean, nobodygave me that script, nobody
handed me that story, but thatwas how I internalized my
circumstances. And what Irealized with the power of
identity is now as a coach, Ilike to work a work a lot with
the future. What do we want tocreate? What do we want to bring
into life? What are we dreamingup next? And I believe the
(04:11):
story, like future cast now, hasmore impact on the present than
my past self. I talked to awoman yesterday, and she has a
mastermind of nine women, andshe teaches them how to invest,
how to open up more doors todeals. And her goal by the end
of the year is to get to 100members in this mastermind. And
(04:32):
then she started playing with itduring the conversation, and
she's like, well, what would itlook like actually, if I got
1000 or even 10,000 Well, if youset your goal at 100 you're
gonna have a certain identitystory of I run a mastermind of
100 people. There's certaindecisions you make, there's a
way you carry yourself. There'sa list of activities that become
priority at that point. But ifyou change the goal to say, I
(04:53):
wanna actually take my work andimpact 1000 people, or I wanna
impact 10,000 people in the nextmonth, you'd have to. Radically
change how you show up, how youlead, where you place your time
and attention. You'd also haveto change your belief in
yourself. You'd have to changethe story from I'm operating the
small mastermind, or I'm in thestartup phase, to wow, I'm
(05:14):
bringing enterprise value intothe world, and I'm going to show
up in a different way. So when Isay identity has has a story
component. I think it's fluid,because we can change it. And I
think a lot of us, some operatefrom our our conditioning versus
our design, that we operate sortof the playbook we feel like
we've inherited, instead ofrealizing we have sovereign
(05:37):
power to create a new storyabout what's possible for
ourselves.
BEATE CHELETTE (05:41):
So then, then, would it be fair to say that
there's a story I tell myselfbecause it's the story I was
taught. I believe that's thestory, that's the story of my
life. It's the reason why I amwho I am. And you say, the
minute I understand this conceptof an identity, now I have the
power to define what thisidentity is, but it typically is
(06:04):
not who I am today.
Cassie Shea ✨ (06:06):
I have a lot of agency over that identity, like
I understand that identity isn'tfixed. So when it comes to the
really big goals, especiallywhen it comes to work or things
we're dreaming up or want tocreatively birth into the world.
A lot of times, the identitiesthat we've been given, the
identities that are fixed, wemight feel a low sense of
(06:26):
agency, things like my currenteconomic situation or my
education level. You know, Iinherited this. This path like
this is where I am. This is howmuch success I've been able to
hold up until now. It becomes aset point. And I believe if we
want to create somethingextraordinary, we want to move
in a big way, to createsomething different and new. The
(06:48):
best lover, a lot of us that arehigh achievers would make a
plan. We'd create a spreadsheet.
We'd seek a mentor. We'd figureout the path in a linear way.
We'd know, you know, I need toreverse engineer the steps to
get there, but I think thespiritual alchemy, or at least
the invite of possibility, is,what if we change the story
about who we are first, becausethat story is going to inform
(07:09):
how we see the future and how wetake action. So in order for me
BEATE CHELETTE (07:16):
to change that story about myself or how I see
myself, so you said somethingabout you work a lot with
desire. Desire in the future. Ithink desire is connected to
purpose. So take me through sortof this process of, if I say I
(07:38):
want to achieve something, howthis concept of identity helps
me help helps me manifest, asin, get there
Cassie Shea ✨ (07:45):
faster. The first question I always start with for
every client, regardless of agestage, how many years they owned
a business, what their incomeis, the first question I always
start with is, what do you want?
And give you a very difficultquestion to answer. In fact,
it's probably one we come backto again and again in coaching
that gives the most resistance.
(08:05):
And it's interesting, because acouple of things that I realize
get in the way of answering thequestion of, what do I want? One
is mimetic desire. It's thisidea that there's sort of this
collective desire. When I wasyoung in my career, 15 plus
years ago, the whole goal was toget to a six figure job, right?
Like, didn't matter what you didor how happy you were, how good
BEATE CHELETTE (08:25):
you were at it, the matrix demanded, yes, six
figures.
Cassie Shea ✨ (08:29):
And then I got six figures, and I was like,
well, shoot, now what like thisis a really terrible situation.
I don't even like this, but Ididn't have a filter, because I
was swept up with the memeticdesire. Five and a half years
ago, when I started my job, thenew memetic desire is, oh, you
have a new company. You have tohit a million dollars. You're
worth nothing. It doesn't matterif you have multi six figures
(08:49):
and you work 10 hours a weekdoing something you love, like
that's all BS, unless you hit amillion dollars. It's memetic
desire at work. So part of theconditioning, I think, with
answering this question, what dowe want? Is actually stripping
away the noise, the external,the external. Yeah questions,
noise perceptions, perhaps otherpeople have put on us our upper
(09:12):
limits, what we feel like wedeserve, and also the memetic
desire, like being able to saylike I want, what I want without
any justification. The otherthing that gets in the way of
answering what I want, or getsin the way of desire, is shame.
I think guilt is actuallysometimes really helpful. Guilt
is, oh, shoot, I did somethingbad. I want to make repair in
this relationship, or I want toown, take full responsibility
(09:33):
for my side of whatever justhappened. Shame is I am bad. So
if guilt is a sometimes helpful,conscious reminder, Oh, I did
something bad. Shame is I ambad, and shame can get in the
way also of what we desire. Ithink it can blunt our desire,
because we're carrying aroundthis concept that I'm not
enough, or I need to build mydream to prove that I'm okay, or
(09:56):
prove my enoughness. And so.
Once we once we're able toanswer our authentic and true
desire, then we build anidentity story around that. So
for example, I was going to giveone that's personal, but I feel
like I'm very much in flux. SoI'm doing this work on myself.
There's been like, multipleiterations. One I can go back to
that's fresh is in the beginningof my career, I just exited a w2
(10:18):
role, or I was managing directorat this large media company, and
I immediately started coachingother women in high performing
tech roles. So I coached womenin Amazon, Facebook, Google,
IBM, Slack, and it almost feltlike corporate PTSD. I was like,
Oh my gosh, we're having thesame conversations about
executive presence and conflict,and this doesn't really fulfill
(10:39):
my soul, like I'm happy becauseI'm making my own income and I'm
on my schedule and I'm coaching,but I'm not really doing the
work that brings me alive. So mynext identity shift was to
actually take on the identity ofcreator. I am a creator, and I'm
creative, to really own mycreativity. And then I asked,
well, what? What would thatidentity story do different as a
(11:01):
coach than what I'm doing now. Idon't feel like I'm being very
creative. I feel like I'mpainting by numbers, like I
already know all the answers tothese questions. My creativity
feels very dull. And so thatcreative identity led me to
shift my focus to coachingentrepreneurs, because I love
being closer to the creationcycle, to the unknowns, and also
the the lights of bringingsomething to life or to light
(11:26):
for the first time. And sothat's one way that my own
identity transformation affectedhow I started building my
business. And that was the pointactually where I started making
multiple six figures in a year.
Was when I actually took on theidentity that I'm a creator. So
it wasn't an identity storylinked to I need to make more
(11:47):
money. It's actually I deeplywant more fulfillment, and I'm
feeling like something is alittle misaligned. And that was
a really big shift for me abouttwo and a half or three years
ago to start owning my owncreativity and then attracting
and magnetizing and working withpeople who are highly creative
as well. So
BEATE CHELETTE (12:09):
you said the question, what do you want? So I
think the most difficultquestions for anybody that walks
through my door, because they'venever thought about it, it's not
a question that's being asked,because when you're deep in the
matrix or in the hustle or inthe grind, whatever you want to
call it, you do what you need todo to survive, to get there, to
buy the car, buy the house, totake care of the kids, to send
(12:30):
them to private school. I mean,there's just this non stop, non
stop line up of things we haveto achieve. Why do you think
people have a hard time knowingtheir desire, or knowing what
they want, what's in the way ofthat, because we have to remove
that first to get anywhere.
Cassie Shea ✨ (12:48):
I think it's both specific and unique and also
somewhat universal. I thinkmimetic desire plays into a
little bit, you said, TheMatrix, the I would call it the
checklist, like that checklistof I need the perfect marriage,
the perfect home, the perfectkids, the perfect car, the
perfect place of worship, like,whatever it is, like, I need the
perfect country club membership.
Like, I actually do need that.
(13:09):
Like, I really do want that. Idon't need it. It would be fun
to have. But there's this,
BEATE CHELETTE (13:15):
can we explain the concept of nomadic desire?
Because you've now said itmultiple times. I want to make
sure our audience knows exactlyhow you refer to it in what the
context of it is.
Cassie Shea ✨ (13:26):
Yeah, it's the herd mentality. It's the
collective wish, like whateveryone else is thinking or
wanting, the Jonesscientifically, the Joneses, and
scientifically, we areinfluenced highly by what the
collective desires. I thinkanother way to say it is like
keeping up with the Joneses, butyou almost wonder, like, why?
(13:50):
Like, was that actually me, orwas that sort of an idea
implanted in me? Yeah,
BEATE CHELETTE (13:56):
and I think we see this all the time. It is
fascinating to me when you hearthese Well, the general opinion
on this is, and I said, How doyou know? How do you know? How
do you know? How do you know ifit's true? And there really
isn't an answer to that, per se.
So I believe that, in order toget to this question. And the
(14:20):
reason, you know, we asking thisquestion today for our audience
is to to clarify that in orderfor you to get anywhere, you got
to get this, this questionanswered, and that that answer
to the question is going tobecome your identity to a large
part. Give me like an example onhow do you take somebody through
this now, so you ask them, Whatdo you want? And they they go
(14:43):
like, I want to make a lot ofmoney. I want to take nice
vacations. And we're backsomewhat in the matrix of of the
things that they know how tosay, because that's what
everybody else says. And then,of course, they're going to say
happiness and whatever, a lot ofsex, and I want to have. Great
intimacy, and I want to have agreat family. So these are like
all, check, check, check, check,check, check, check, check, but
(15:03):
that's not necessarily desire.
That's a want. What's thedifference between a want and a
desire?
Cassie Shea ✨ (15:15):
For me, it's a really felt sense in my body. So
I'm gonna go with that in termsof running it through your
somatic wisdom. And I hopethat's an invite for everyone
listening. For me, thedifference between a want and
desire, want to something, italmost feels transactional. It's
like something I know I can get.
I really want to go on an allinclusive resort vacation to
Mexico. So I just booked thatwith a travel agent, and I'm
(15:36):
going next January, and I'm soexcited. I want a vacation where
I do absolutely nothing, thinkabout nothing, plan no meals,
take a book that that was awant. It's transactional. I can
get it. It's sort of easy toalign resources once I'm clear
on that want, I think a desire Ifeel in my body, the response to
(15:56):
this is a desire is somethingthat's sort of pulling me from
the inside out. I believe adesire is somewhat of a divine
compass back to our purpose. AndI think about desire as or how
do we find that, like, how dowe, how do we, as an
archeologist, take like afeather and a frying turd comb
to really find that desire, ifit's elusive to us, I think part
(16:18):
of it is having a mirror, havinga guide. I know you do this for
your clients. It's hard to readthe bottle when you're in it.
It's hard to read the label onthe outside. And so having
trusted guys, you have to pickthem with such care, because
some people superimpose theirdesires or their wants onto you,
and so that's tricky. But interms of desire, how I feel in
(16:40):
myself is like a creative spark,like that very baby beginning
spark on a fire that can developand burn into something bigger.
But I feel desire is, is thecreative pulls the creative fire
from the inside out aboutsomething that wants to almost
be created through me, whetherthat's birthing a book, a
(17:02):
business, a baby, I thinkthere's so many different ways
that desire comes to fruition,sort of out of our body, into
the world. And so I would saydesire is, is that that whisper,
it's usually not loud. ThatWhisper of the thing you can't
totally put down, you can'ttotally ignore your soul is
(17:27):
telling you there's something tothis. I've had my business
desire is the Whisper on thewind so faint we almost might
not hear it, but so unignorable. It's almost like
itching your skin, like it wouldbe uncomfortable to fully ignore
it, but it's subtle. And I don'tthink we're used to listening to
(17:50):
the subtleties of our soul. Idon't think we're used to
pausing enough to hear those
BEATE CHELETTE (17:55):
Yeah, I agree with you. I think this, like
whole idea of rattling, rattlingdown the list is almost, is
almost too easy, because thenI'm just going by what is, what
is commonly acceptable, but adeep desire in manifestation and
spirituality, we talk about thisa lot, is you cannot manifest
(18:16):
anything that has no desire toit. So talk to us now, as we are
uncovering this desire, I thinkthat in this intuition or this
inner voice is that the reason Ineed to listen to this is I
cannot create unless I feel thisdesire. Talk to us about that.
(18:39):
Because now, now we have thedesire, and idea of a desire.
How do I make that big enough,intense enough so I can use it
for manifestation and
Cassie Shea ✨ (18:48):
creation? Yeah, beautiful for me. I put it into
my body. I find it verydifficult to just do it on
paper. So I'll take you throughthe body part and then the paper
piece as a way of hopefullybreaking down this into into a
few steps. But for me, the pathback to to my greatest joy, to
(19:10):
amplifying desire, is thinkingabout when I was a little kid,
what made me feel the mostalive, the most joyful, the most
energized. For me, it's dance. Ilove to dance. As a little kid,
loved it, still love it. And twoyears ago, is in a deep period
of transition from arelationship, from my business
(19:31):
perspective. So I went to thedance studio six seven days a
week. I learned 12 differentstyles of ballroom dance. I
taught ballroom dance. By theend of the year I competed, I
realized that was taking the joyright out of it, sucked the joy
right out to make itperformative. But me ecstatic
dancing on the beach with my ownheadphones at sunrise with a cup
(19:52):
of tea, that's where I feelreally alive. That's the desire
amplification for me, because Iwant more of that child like
wonder and joy. And creativityto express the joy of creation
without needing utility. And Ithink there's utility to that.
Like, the irony is there is autility to that, because that's
lighting up these creativecenters. It's giving me
interesting ideas. Um, today, Iwas in the ocean at sunrise, 7am
(20:16):
no wetsuit, and that, to me, isthe meditative practice of I'm
still wearing a sweater becauseI'm freezing like seven hours
later. But that's to me, themeditative practice of truly
letting go, floating, beingheld, that experience of oneness
with creation. Like to me,that's the it's like meditation
on steroids. So I put my dreamand I desire on, I try it on, I
(20:38):
go to dance class, I ride ahorse, I get in the water,
whatever brings you that levelof childlike wonder and joy just
creating for the pure pleasureof creating, it starts to light
up your right brain. And all ofour anxiety lives in our left
side of our hemisphere. But onceyou keep amplifying the right
side of the brain, you're goingto start making connections.
(20:59):
You're going to see insightsdifferent. And so I think
that's, to me, one of the mostimportant creative strategies if
you're on this desire birthingpath, and how to amplify your
sense of desire when it comes tohow desire gets connected to
identity. So when I ask a clientvery simply, like, what do you
want? I'll ask them seven layersof why. Why do you want that? I
want a really nice house. Reallynice house. I want a big house
(21:22):
that I feel like as a sanctuary,and I can have all my people
there, and the seven layers ofwhy, if you get to the bottom of
it, is belonging. I want tocultivate and feel a sense of
grounded belonging. And so,because I know that now I can
start looking for moments ofgrounded belonging in my current
sphere, in my current Locus ofControl before I manifest that
(21:45):
big house. So I'm tuning intothe frequency, the vibration of
why I want that thing. And nowI'm really aware, and I'm owning
the emotional capacity that Ican continue building in order
to welcome that thing in. Sothat's one piece of it, and then
the last piece, I'll say interms of the want, the desire,
(22:06):
the embodied creation, the joyof creating, truly for the love
and the pleasure of creating.
The next piece is to do an auditand ask yourself, what is your
current identity story? How areyou showing up? What are the
hats you're wearing in yourbusiness? Who are you being and
if you were to go down this listof desire, and if all of that
were true, what would youridentity shift to? What would be
(22:30):
true? What would be differentabout my identity? And so if
anyone's listening along thethree steps would be starting
with, what do you want? Who areyou showing up as right now? A
really honest assessment, withblameless discernment, no
judgment. How are you showing upright now? And if what you
wanted was true and already realand here and present, who would
(22:52):
you be then? And that becomesthe compass, the way to shift.
Instead of goal attainment, it'sreally goal alignment, goal
embodiment.
BEATE CHELETTE (23:06):
And is it not true that unless you carry that
the goal cannot be achieved,because you have to shift into a
different identity, desire toachieve this next level, unless
you want to hustle, hustle,hustle, hustle, work really hard
and kill yourself in theprocess. So I do believe that
(23:29):
there's two aspects to this.
Nothing wrong with the herdmentality and being like the
Joneses, if that's what you finddesirable to because I know a
lot of people that have achieveda lot following that. However, I
also know that a lot of thesepeople get there, and then they
have the money and the tools andthe toys and the house, but they
don't have purpose, and thenthey're in the quest of finding
(23:49):
the purpose, or you can do whatI think is really emerging, and
that's why we're doing thisshow, is how do you combine both
of them as you're building soyou're not missing out on the
life and the process is that,how you how you look at this, or
is there anything that you wantto add or change to that
assessment?
Cassie Shea ✨ (24:09):
I love how you put those words together. For
me, I'm exploring the phrasealigned ambition as a way of
describing exactly what yousaid. There's nothing wrong with
the having of things. I thinkthe acquisition of things
without the deeper purpose,without the deeper identity
alignment and the, I think,conscious agency that you know
what you're creating and youknow why you're creating it,
(24:31):
maybe that is for some people, Iwant a house, two luxury cars, a
boat. Their purpose is to useall of those items to be more
present with their family,because their parents weren't
present with them. The storyhere a lot for people that want
to create wealth. And so then myquestion becomes, okay, how do
we make an identity story whereyou're present with your family
now, because your family doesn'tneed the house and the boats and
(24:54):
the toys, you could rent apontoon boat for a couple hours,
your kids are gonna have a ballof a time. I just took. My dog
on a pontoon boat the other day,and literally, his face was
blowing in the wind. I don'tthink he's ever been happier. It
didn't take a million bucks forme to be present with the doggy.
It that trip costs less than$200 so looking for those ways
to be in alignment now, versuswaiting for the external reality
(25:16):
to tell us we're allowed to behappy and and be satisfied, then
I think that's one of the bigdifferences.
BEATE CHELETTE (25:22):
Yeah, I agree with you. I think that the
operational roadmap, as I knowyou've called it before, really
comes from the desire. And thedesire determines where we want
to go. And I think you made animportant point, the desire
really has to be aligned withwhere it is that you want to go
as a human, as a person, as anindividual, and whether that's
(25:43):
with kids or dogs or partners,nobody, nobody really cares.
Your desire is your desire, andyou uniquely own this. So
finally, I wanted to find whatmaybe we can leave our audience
with one thought that they haveto watch out what typically is
in the way of doing this.
Because I think that the minutewe make a change, or we decide
(26:05):
to make a change, inevitably theresistance shows up. Talk to us
about that. How do they preparefor that, and what do they need
to prepare for?
Cassie Shea ✨ (26:17):
Yeah, it's a great point. One of the quotes I
hold on to deeply is oppositionoccurs in all things. The
tension of change createsopposition. Resistance would be
another great word for it. Ilove the word. The book The War
of Art by Steven Pressfield, andit talks about, it's the 200
(26:39):
pages just talking aboutresistance. Do the thing anyway,
create anyway. So if you haven'tpicked up that book, that would
be a good one. It's like youcould read a page a day just to
keep yourself motivated. But interms of the question of what
would come up with opposition, Ithink there's two layers to it.
One, I think there's a a momentwhere shame comes into the
(27:01):
picture, or some version of I'mnot enough, I'm not smart
enough, I'm not rich enough, I'mnot ready enough. I'm not
prepared enough. Whatever theenoughness is, it all comes down
to I'm not enough. Whenever Iheard a voiced desire that's
almost inevitably, the nextresistance or roadblock is I'm
not enough. And for some of us,that's been the the beating drum
(27:26):
that's allowed us to achieve alot that I'm not enough, proving
energy has forced us to achievebecause we want to tell that
proving energy we are enough,and so to learn to actually let
that energy go, I would say,love it out of your life, not
force it to go because that'lljust amplify it more, but to
truly love that not enoughenergy out for me, that's looked
(27:48):
like going to therapy. I'm a bigfan of coaching and growth in
the future. For me, the bestpairing has been actually going
to therapy to deal with thatstory of not enoughness and to
learn new tools and to havedifferent levels of support. I
would say the second thing withdesire, a resistance that comes
up is when you take a tenderbaby, fresh, fragile desire, and
(28:11):
you tell a ton of people aboutit, including sometimes our
families, because they see us inthis specific way. If it's a
work desire I'm talking about, Ithink about like my parents see
me as their daughter. Theyalways will, and that's a
blessing and a curse, becausethey don't see sometimes the
emergence, or, as I've been atdinner with certain friends that
have known me for, you know, 15plus years, and I tell them my
(28:34):
my new desire, my bigger dreamor bigger idea. There's been a
few times where people just leanback in their chair and they go,
Cass, you're just delusional.
You've always had delusions ofgrandeur.
BEATE CHELETTE (28:45):
Oh, my God, yes.
Oh no, no no, tell me that isnot so
Cassie Shea ✨ (28:49):
I'm still dear friends to this day because I
know the heart was in the rightplace. Oh, the comment was so
misplaced for a creativeentrepreneur. And so I learned
share your desire in rooms wherepeople are dreaming big.
Community is the currency, Ibelieve, of exponential growth.
And if you're around people whoare doing this work, who are
(29:11):
dreaming bigger, who aredesiring from this place of soul
alignment and and alsoexpanding, literally, their body
and possibilities into more getaround those people, because if
you stay with people who areshrinking and who live the
status quo or who only see youas the cast from 15 years ago,
(29:32):
if that comment had been allowedto germinate and take seed in my
soul, there would have been somedreams I gave up on and my my
direct response, though, at thetime, at the dinner party, was,
if I'm not a little delusionalfor me, who's gonna be, Oh, my
BEATE CHELETTE (29:47):
God, that's just rough. So yeah, as we, as we
wrap this up, I do agree. Iwould really don't share much of
what I do or what my goals arewith any of my immediate. And
family, because I maybesubconsciously have learned my
lessons many, many years agothat the what's normal for me or
(30:09):
what is my reality is not thereality for many other people.
And you put yourself in aposition of judgment, and if we
look at it from the perspectiveof when somebody says you that
is delusional. And let's say yousaid I'm going to take this to
half a million dollars thisyear, and I want to be maybe a
million dollar company, or yousay I want to impact 1000
people, whatever the numbers orthe impact statement is, and
(30:33):
somebody says that's delusional,then you know exactly that they
will never reach that becauseit's not possible for them. But
that's where they stop. And soit just verifies something for
them, nothing for you, and thenthat's easier to overcome. CASS
this has been a really greatconversation, fascinating,
fascinating stuff going thisdeep. Where can we find you? If
(30:56):
our audience wants to find more,find out more about how to find
the identity and maybe breakthrough it and step into their
true desire. Where do they go?
Cassie Shea ✨ (31:03):
Absolutely, I hang out on LinkedIn, so come
find me. Cassie Shea alsocoaching.cassieshae.com, would
be my website. You're welcome tosend me a note there. And I have
a gift for everyone on the showI'm going to send is three
layers of starting to ask yourown desire, what's beneath the
surface? And I have some guidedjournal prompts that you can do
(31:24):
on your own following the show,so that way you can take this
and start getting some insightand creating some embodied
awareness about your desire andwhere that's leading you in
terms of your identity journey.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:36):
Wonderful. Thank you so much. I really appreciate
you being here today. So thankyou for coming to
Cassie Shea ✨ (31:40):
the show my pleasure. Thank you for having
me. And
BEATE CHELETTE (31:44):
that is it for us, for today. So you heard it
here. It's all about, how do youfigure out your true desire? And
that becomes your new identity.
And with that, you get to pursuewhat you want, knowing kind of
like who you need to be and whatyou need to feel to achieve a
particular outcome, and withthat, we say goodbye as always.
If you know someone who mayneeds to hear these words today,
(32:06):
please send them a link to theshow and share, like subscribe
to the podcast. Thank you somuch for listening, and until
next time, that's it for thisepisode of the Business Growth
Architect Show, Founders of theFuture. If you're done playing
small and ready to build thefuture on your terms, subscribe,
(32:26):
share and help us reach moreTrailblazers like you. And if
you're serious about creating,growing and scaling a business
that's aligned with who you are,schedule your uncovery session
uncoverysession.com. Lead withvision. Move with purpose.
Create your future.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.