October 13, 2025 • 32 mins
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We live in a world where we are compelled to showcase how great our lives are. Yet, on the inside many of us are fighting silent battles with shame, trauma, and are trying to hide the parts of ourselves that we don’t want others to see.
Melissa Monte, host of the Mind Love podcast, knows that feeling all too well. Deeply entrenched into the wrong kind of relationship and a screaming eating disorder she ended up in jail with a felony conviction. She used her story as the foundation for her reinvention and inspires millions through her podcast and platform.
In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future, Melissa reveals how she turned her pain into purpose, and how facing our story matters more than hiding it. It is the key to our healing and begins the moment you stop pretending everything’s okay.
✨ Watch now to discover how your darkest moments hold the blueprint to your best life.
🔗 Learn more about Melissa at MindLove.com
📲 Subscribe for more real, raw, and powerful stories about growth, purpose, and entrepreneurship.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (00:00):
Until the day I found myself sitting
(00:02):
in a jail cell, all I can thinkabout is how to maintain my I
was assaulted after blacking outat a party. I just became this
walking shell with a brightsmile. Our officers opened the
trunk dozens of lock boxesstolen jewelry. But that was
(00:27):
also the moment actually pointedme toward my purpose.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:32):
What if the thing that you're trying to
hide, the thing that you're soashamed of to come to light ends
up being your greatest asset,and Melissa Monte, from Mind
Love, is going to share thatwith us today. And my first
question to you is, Melissa,what's the story that you are so
ashamed of that you didn't wantto share? I
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (00:55):
found that a lot of my life I was
losing who I was. I didn'tunderstand the core of who I was
at a certain time, and it wasalmost as if I was vanishing
from my own life little bylittle, until the day I found
myself sitting in a jail cellwearing torn scrubs and pre worn
panties and obsessing over howto purge my jail food. And so it
(01:20):
escalated so quickly. It wasthat sort of dichotomy of the
moment of realizing I'm sittinghere in a jail cell for felony
charges for a crime I did notcommit, and all I can think
about is how to maintain mybulimia. And as I sat there, I
remember just thinking like,where did I go wrong? I was an
(01:41):
advanced placement student. Iwas on the Dean's list. I
everyone thought I hadeverything going for me, but as
I started to map back my story,I realized that I had spent
years systematicallydisconnecting from my body, and
it started when I was 15. I wasassaulted after blacking out at
a party, and there was a crowdof people actually cheering on
(02:04):
my abuser while I wasunconscious. And so after that,
the only way I really knew howto survive it was to tell myself
that I was fine. I had surfacelevel understanding of self
development. And one of thethings that I had kept since age
12 was mind over matter. So Isaid, I just mind over matter
this. I even laughed it off. Igot really good at performing
(02:26):
strength, but that was also themoment that I stopped trusting
my body, and so I kind of justbecame this walking shell with a
bright smile. But I think whenyou disconnect from yourself
that early, you start to collectsurvival strategies. So I was
binge drinking all the time,party drugs, bulimia. It was
(02:47):
just anything to not feel,numbing the hunger, numbing the
ache, just staying likable, butsmall. And years later, I met
someone, and he was charming andgenerous, and he said all the
right things, and it just feltlike somebody was coming to
sweep me out of my life and intotheirs, which I was wildly open
(03:09):
to at that moment and over time,though, his stories didn't add
up, and I felt it, but I wasignoring it on purpose, because
his dad died the weekend I methim. My dad died when I was 19,
and I just became determined tolove him in a way that I didn't
feel loved and understood when Iwas going through that. And so I
(03:30):
just sort of attributedeverything to that, and wanted
to make him feel okay. But overtime, I found out he was an
alcoholic, which was fine,because it was kind of mirroring
what I was doing. But then Ifound out he was cheating on me
over and over again. I found outhe was addicted to meth, and
(03:51):
then eventually, I tried to getaway from him. I went to Hawaii
to stay with a friend for amonth, just because I couldn't
feel myself at all, and so Iwent away, and I got myself
together, and it felt like I hadhealed, but I when I got back, I
didn't address any of theinternal stuff. Still, I was
(04:12):
still just ignoring the wounds.
And a few weeks later, we wereon our way to lunch, and because
I just got roped back into allof his stories, and then I saw
headlights behind us, and Ithought we were being pulled
over for running a stop sign orsomething, but then the police
forcefully made us get out ofthe car, and I just will never
forget the look on the officer'sface when he opened the trunk
(04:35):
and he found dozens of lockboxes, a Pair of bolt cutters
and cases of stolen jewelry. Ibelieved he had a jewelry
business. He had a whole storyabout it. I even helped him sell
it on eBay. At the time, I couldweigh gold in my hand. I was so
involved in it, and I had noidea all this stuff was stolen.
Because first of all, how didyou steal so much? Of the same
(04:58):
kind of jewelry, which Thereended up being a story for. But
also, why are you selling stolenjewelry on eBay? It never
crossed my mind that this wouldwas an option. I went to jail. I
had my rock bottom moment, andagain, it was just like I was
just remember, sort of floatingthrough like, This can't be
happening to me. And it wassomething about the obsession
over the bulimia in jail thatjust like snapped me into place,
(05:20):
and I said, things have to bedifferent overnight. I
thankfully didn't get a lot ofjail time. I got out on my own
recognizance. I did get a felonyconviction because our cases
were combined, and so because Iwas in Hawaii during his largest
burglary ring spree, I couldhave proven my innocence if I
had gone to court. But if I did,he had to go to court too, and
(05:42):
it would have guaranteed he got10 years in jail or more. And I
was just so used to giving himeverything that I gave him my
freedom too. And so I took thefelony and I moved to LA to try
to get away from him. He stilltormented me for about a year,
breaking into my house, throwinga brick through my windshield,
stalking whoever I looked like Iwas dating, but then he got
(06:05):
arrested for another string ofrobberies, and at that moment, I
realized I was finally free, andso I had to do something with
it. And so I started to justtake little steps to try to
rebuild, but I was rebuildingwith no idea what I was building
or how to rebuild, and sodestroying it was quite messy,
(06:26):
but I learned a lot during thattime, and I also realized that
that moment that could have beenthe thing that many people would
have interpreted As destroyingtheir life actually pointed me
toward my purpose, because ittook away a lot of the options I
think I might have just landedin comfortably with a good job
and golden handcuffs, and itleft one option for me in my
(06:50):
mind, and that wasentrepreneurship. And so I
didn't have one foot in and onefoot out, like most people, I
just went all in, and when Ifinally found the thing I was
meant for, which took years ofreally figuring out what my
story was leading me to. It justtook off, and I grew a podcast
to a million downloads the firstyear. Ended up starting my
(07:11):
business. From there, started topublic speak, and I have to now
credit that moment for who I amtoday.
BEATE CHELETTE (07:21):
So this is so fascinating to me. I mean, first
of all, thank you so much forsharing the story so openly and
vulnerable. I certainly relateto that. My ex husband was an
alcoholic, and I didn't realizethat until much, much, much,
much later, they are so good athiding this. And everybody will
always say to you, like, how didyou not know? You must have
known somewhere. All you know isthat there's something off, but
you don't know what it is, andyou're just trying to justify
(07:44):
it, because they present itpretty logically. So powerful
story for you to get out of it.
So what I want to know now is,what was that turning point for
you? So now here you are. You'resitting in the jail cell. You
are trying to feed your eatingdisorder. What was the thought
process that what kicked in? Wasit survival? Was it wisdom? Can
(08:07):
you can you explain what it was?
Do you know
Melissa Monte @mindlovemelis (08:15):
in that moment, it was actually
more like despair, and I thinkit was something that I had to
feel like, how broken Are you?
And there wasn't like, thishopeful moment in that in that
jail, like, okay, like, I'mgonna fix myself. I actually was
just thinking about how I wasgonna press the reset button,
how, like, I didn't wantanything to do with that person
(08:38):
right there, and that was a hardthing to feel, but I had nothing
to do but feel it. There was nodistraction. And so I just
remember sitting there feelingso much pain, and I hadn't let
myself do that in years, becausethe moment I started to feel
that I reached for something tonumb it, and at this moment, I
had nothing. And so I think itkick started part of my healing,
(09:01):
because I was finally feelingthese layers and layers that
have built up through a sexualassault, through losing my dad,
through just all of the thingsthat I ignored in my life and
didn't allow myself to process.
And so that was the first partof it. And I wish there was this
(09:22):
big aha moment, but all I reallyknew how to do was follow one
seed of inspiration. I knew Iwanted to move away, so I moved
to LA. That's all I knew. Andthen I knew I wanted to feel
good, so I did a yoga class, andI decided to sign up for the
yoga membership. Had no idea howhealing that would be for me,
but it reconnected me to my bodyin a way that I hadn't been
(09:45):
connected to it in years aswell. And I also connected me
with a few more friends thatweren't just about the party
life, and so I was getting theselittle seeds of inspiration, but
I really do credit yoga so muchas. Trivial as that might sound
to some people, because I wasdeveloping a relationship with
myself, and it was the sort ofthe seed that unraveled so many
(10:09):
more steps following. But therewere a lot of steps it took
years and years for me to reallyfeel whole. And there was a lot
of years where I was in what Icall the resistance. It's that
in between of knowing what youshould do and actually feeling
like it's sustainable for you todo. And so I was going to the
yoga class and reading a mindsetbook and then doing copious
(10:34):
amounts of MDMA at night at aparty, waking up hungover, but
scraping myself together foranother yoga class. And that
went on for a really long time,but I think sometimes we don't
see that the seeds are strongenough to grow even when we're
stomping on them a little bitafterwards, like they're still
there. And so eventually some ofthe decisions just didn't really
(10:55):
feel in alignment with who I wasbecoming, and old patterns
started to shed away.
BEATE CHELETTE (11:01):
I can so relate to this. As I'm going through
this loss of my home in thePacific Palisades and my entire
life and losing everything, Ifind myself caught in between
the spot of knowing that thispain is and the grief is so
extraordinary and so intensethat I probably, for the first
(11:22):
time in my life, cannot run awayfrom it. And when you were
sharing your story, it's almostlike I see the parallel to that.
There is this moment it is toobig to run away from it, you
know, everything else. We patchit up, we put it in the box, we
hit it. We were putting fresh,fresh paint on it. Everything
(11:43):
looked good until the momentcomes when you cannot keep it
together anymore. In your work,where you help people to
unleash, sort of this innervoice or the story that they've
been trying to hide, and helpthem to see that it's the most,
most powerful tool. What aresome of these stories that
people try to hide? You know, Iwant to give our audience maybe
(12:04):
some examples to say, oh, yeah,that sounds like me.
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (12:08):
Yeah.
It can be really anything. Itend to find two different types
of people that really benefitfrom story work. Some people
have either a big story, andsometimes that's something
traumatic that they're trying tohide, or at least just something
really big, where they're justlike, nobody can even relate to
this, and then the other peopleare like, I don't even really
(12:29):
have a story. I don't know whatanything is leading me to, but
everyone has a story, and a bigstory isn't too big, and a small
story isn't too small. Whathappens is often for the small
story people, we devalue what alot of people find valuable,
because it's just normal to us.
(12:50):
This is just how things are.
This is how I handle things.
This is what I've been through.
And so it becomes our normal,and it doesn't. We don't really
see the wisdom that we've gainedfrom it. But then the other
people like, oh my gosh, this isa mess. Like, what have I gone
through? I've worked with peoplewho have dealt with sexual
assault as children. I've workedwith people that did something
(13:13):
really bad, went through a phaseof being deceptive in one way or
another. Maybe they cheated ontheir spouse, maybe they stole
things. Maybe they like just aperiod where you were like, I
don't know if I was a goodperson then. And so what I help
people connect to is the wisdomthat they gained from that when
(13:37):
you can stop telling your storyfrom the wound or when you're
still bleeding out, that's goingto have a different effect
story. It's still okay to shareyour story at those times,
because especially women, weoften process through speaking.
So I'm not saying it's not good,but there's a difference between
if you're thinking that you arehelping people heal, but really
(14:03):
you're trauma dumping. There'sjust kind of two different
levels of that. So it's soimportant that we find that
wisdom, we figure out what wegain from that, who we became
from that, before we share ifwe're trying to help people
heal. If you're trying toprocess it, then, yeah, share
all you can find the trustedperson that won't be judgmental,
(14:26):
that'll ask you the rightquestions. Maybe that's a
therapist. Maybe it's your bestfriend, but yeah, so story is
powerful on all the ends of thespectrum. But again, if you're
trying to make it your message,then you should understand what
that message is, so that itbecome, it can become medicine.
BEATE CHELETTE (14:47):
What is the fear behind that? So if I were to
admit that all these thingsactually happened, so you say
that people may be concernedthat they're trauma dumping, but
on the other hand, they might bejust concerned. And about not
having the secret come out. Andthe reason I ask is that I
(15:07):
remember my mother, whathappened in the family. We were
not allowed to share so to thisday, when I talk about the
trauma or the abuse, which I hadcompletely eliminated out of my
brain until I went on Ayahuascajourney, and then I had it like
(15:30):
hit me with a ton of bricks,which is why I've avoided doing
that kind of work for so long,because I didn't want to know.
And then when I did do it, theneverything I was afraid of
became true and happened all atonce, and then I'm left with
dealing something that I'vetried so hard to forget. What is
it? How do I give myselfpermission to even go there and
(15:53):
not be judgmental of theexperience? Because it's bad
form in the world. When you talkbad about your parents. They did
the best they could. You justwait until your parent yourself,
and then you see how hard it is.
We don't give ourselvespermission, or society doesn't
give ourselves permission to ownthese stories, because we are
taught that it's wrong to putthis all out there. How do you
(16:18):
deal with that.
Melissa Monte @mindlovemeliss (16:21):
I realized at an early age that
people take things as youpresent to them most often, and
so again, when you are connectedto your story and the truth of
your story that's conveyedthrough when you share it with
somebody else, it is much morerare for them to come up with
their own judgment when youaren't holding internal judgment
(16:44):
about yourself, the judgmenttends to come out more when
they're reflecting that back toyou. But what I would do, I'm
going to use air quotes when Isay wrong, because I don't
really think anything's wrong.
I've always kind of been anoutspoken person. I always have
been an over sharer, but I wouldshare for the shock factor. So
even for a few years after thatfelony, yeah, there were people
(17:08):
I didn't tell, like, maybeparticular job bosses, till I
got close enough to them, thenwe'd have some drinks, and I'd
be like, Oh yeah, I got a felonyat 22 and you still hired me.
And I just, like, kind of laughit off. But I realized I did
this more for armor. It wasanother way of keeping people
away, and it was just it wasjust as much armor as not
sharing anything. And so what Ihelp people with now is how to
(17:32):
find that resonance. But first,you do need to heal again. If
you're not holding shame aboutit, it becomes a lot easier to
share it without shame, and thenyou give other people permission
to share their stories. I alsorealized that so many of the
things I was afraid of happeningnever happened when I shared.
Yes, I've come across judgmentalpeople along the way, but
(17:54):
usually it's not about the storyI'm sharing. They were looking
for something to confirm theirbiases about me as it was, and
now they heard this, and it'ssomething to latch on to. I
don't have control over that.
Their story is not mine, butit's all about processing it
yourself, knowing how you feelabout it. Because again, if
(18:14):
you're not holding shame aboutit, even if somebody does react
in a way that's judgmental. I'mnot going to feel that shame
because I already released it.
That shame can be theirs. I getto choose what I pick up and put
down.
BEATE CHELETTE (18:28):
That's powerful.
I like this a lot, and I dobelieve in the healing of
ourselves, we have to tell thestories, or let these stories
come out, because the reasonother people don't want you to
tell the story sets on them.
It's your story. It's your life.
You can do literally whateverthe heck you want with it,
right? I want to shift thisconversation a little bit over
(18:49):
to some of the things you talkabout as it comes to AI and
storytelling. So the premise ofwhat the work is that you do is
that the story you try to hidethe most has the most impact.
How does now AI and AIstorytelling and AI, in my
personal opinion, is the mostmediocre version of everything
(19:13):
out there. So you put yourselfin there, unless you know how to
prompt it or rework the prompt,or rewrite it, it will give you
the most mediocre feedback,because it's trained to look for
all these different things. Howdoes storytelling and AI connect
in your world?
Melissa Monte @mindlovemelis (19:32):
In my world, it amplifies
authenticity. But again, it'sstarting from knowing yourself
well again, there's two ways touse it. I actually have
developed some tools that helppeople process it, that help
people go through the questionsit asks them questions and
mirrors back to them what ithears. And that's one of the
powerful things about AI, isthat AI is a mirror, and so a
(19:56):
lot of people are just writingthings in and trying to get
facts back. And my AI might saysomething different than yours,
because it's mirroring back ourbelief system. It's it's showing
us things about ourselves. SoI've learned a lot about myself
from Ai, but I also think thatwe always need to be aware of
the downsides of things beforewe go all in, like if I just
(20:20):
completely started replacing mythought process with just AI.
I'm going to be parts of mybrain are going to be
disintegrating because they'renot in use. You have to use it
or lose it. I teach people howto use AI. I'm kind of an AI
power user. I've taken manymasterminds and programs on it.
Just because I missed the waveof getting on Instagram right
(20:41):
when it came out, I wasn't goingto miss the wave of AI. Okay,
this is the very beginning. Youcan get ahead now. It's not
going away. There were plenty ofpeople who were like, I'm not
using the internet. Blah, blah,blah that. Where are they now?
Are they still not using theinternet? Actually, that's what
AI is right now. So we canresist it all that we want, but
(21:02):
you're going to be left behind.
I would prefer with newtechnologies to again,
understand it as well aspossible, including its upsides,
how, what? And knowing myselfwell enough to say, okay, what
are my strong suits and what aremy weaknesses? How can AI build
up those weaknesses so I canhave more energy and time to put
out my message that I've alreadyrefined. Many people are using
(21:25):
AI to just create their message,and then they sound like
everybody else on the internet.
Go for it, because you'realready blending in. You know,
you're not standing out. Butwhen you have a voice, when you
have a message, then suddenlyit's like you have an assistant
to do a lot of this work for youto just spread it a little bit
(21:47):
further, to create a little bitfaster. Give
BEATE CHELETTE (21:50):
us like an example of something where you
found what this is like, one ofmy favorite things, or my
favorite tools, or this is onetrick.
Melissa Monte @mindlovemelis (21:58):
Oh yeah. Well, I highly recommend
that if you're really going toget into AI to get a pro
account, because there's a lotmore benefits you can you can
program it with your voice.
There's a little Preferencessection, telling them who you
are, things that you believe,what side of the political
spectrum you're on, what thingsyou don't believe about
(22:19):
mainstream. You can just put inanything you want about yourself
that might train the words thatit says. You can put in your
tone. And so what I like to dois I have a very long prompt. I
think most often very shortprompts give you mediocre
answers, but when you canactually create understand how
to prompt the technology, Ireverse engineer things that I'm
(22:40):
already proud of that I wrote.
And so I took a speech that Iwrote, for example, dumped it in
there, had it reverse engineertones, styles. There's about
nine different points that canreally pull out a voice in my
tone prompt. And so then when Icreate something else using that
prompt, it sounds very close tome. I also create projects for
(23:03):
all the different areas of in mylife, and then each of those can
have their own instructions. SoI, for example, got blood work
done, but I'm not really amainstream pharmaceutical
person, and so I got my bloodwork done, put it in and then
put in a bunch of documents thatI have around traditional
Chinese medicine, and had itread my blood work and give me
(23:27):
tips on how to heal usingtraditional Chinese medicine. I
have another one for mypregnancy. I have another one
for the book I'm writing, and soeach one kind of has its own
custom instructions, but I evenhave used it for almost like
therapy, but again, you have toprogram it with your worldview.
(23:49):
And so the way that I viewthings is through universal
laws. For example, like my viewof God is God is this divine
matrix, and this world is aholographic illusion set in
place by all of the Divine laws.
And so I have the Divine laws inthere. And when I'm having an
issue that I'm just like, whycan't I get over this judgment?
Or why is my mom bugging me somuch? Whatever it is, I'll just
(24:10):
like, voice it in there, but ithas that one prompt to go
through. So it's not giving megeneric AI advice. It's actually
showing, well, the law ofreflection might be showing you
that you're judging your momtoo. I use AI for a lot of
different things, but again,very wary of not wanting or
wanting to keep parts of mybrain in use. And so I'll a lot
(24:31):
of times, I'll try to do thingson my own first, and then I'll
go to AI for some moreinspiration, and kind of go back
and forth with the two methods
BEATE CHELETTE (24:41):
that's amazing.
What I'm taking away so far isthat you the first step is to
really look into your story andto acknowledge your life story,
and then figure out which piecesof these are appropriate to tell
or you're ready to tell. Andwhat their point is and how they
fit into the overall story. Thesecond thing I'm taking away so
(25:04):
far is that I can utilize toolslike AI to amplify but then
instead of just looking at itlike a cheap assistant somewhere
in some other part of the world,treated like a good, smart
employee that gets benefits.
(25:28):
It's almost like you're talkingabout like it has a higher value
than most people talk about AI.
You talk about it differently.
You talk about it like youdevelop the relationship with
the way you are, you'reutilizing, you're utilizing is,
did I hit that spot on? Do youwant to make any adjustments to
my takeaways?
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (25:49):
Yeah, I do have a couple of
clarifications, but you're spoton. One thing that I do like to
say is, yes, often the thingthat you're holding the closest
to yourself, like maybe you'remost ashamed of it, or it's this
thing that you can't get out. Itdoesn't mean that we don't have
to have any secrets, or we don'tget to have any secrets. It's
(26:11):
perfectly fine to choose whichparts of your life you share and
you don't share. I challengepeople to get curious about that
thing, because I believe it'snot possible for you to hold in
something, if you're reallyholding it because you're
ashamed of it, you're carryingshame that's in your body. And a
lot of new research is showingthat holding on to shame and
(26:33):
trauma is what creates disease,and so maybe you process your
story and you never share it outloud to the world that's not
necessary, but test it with oneperson, or get really curious
about it with just yourself fora year. Like, really dig into
it, figure out what it taughtyou. I have a seven step
framework where I help peoplekind of go through where you
(26:56):
started, like, what were yourbeliefs about this area of your
life first? What was the firstthing that kind of got you out
of that mindset? Like, often,that's the trauma for people.
What was the awakening afterthat? Did you learn anything?
What was that resistance periodthat I talked about where you
knew you should do somethingdifferent and you couldn't, but
then you finally made thechoice, and then you embodied
(27:17):
that, and then the goal, thewisdom that you extracted from
it. So those are my seven stepsto really see that story in a
new way. And anyone that I'vewalked through this has had aha
moments about what that time intheir life was really how it was
serving them in a way, even asdark as it may seem. But again,
(27:37):
that doesn't mean you need to goout and be an influencer and
share your darkest moment onInstagram, but get it out, feel
it, process it, becauseotherwise, just like me, it
might be manifesting in waysthat you have even less control
over. And then with AI, yes, Ithink you learn a lot when you
(27:57):
work with AI, exactly how itworks. It's not like the bearer
of truth. It's actually wrongquite a bit, and sometimes in
very weird ways, it'll get thefacts wrong, or it'll just pull
from whatever's on the firstpage of Google, which is
manipulated by maybe an industryof some sort. And so when I'm
actually trying to learn fromit, I challenge it, I go back
(28:19):
and forth. I'm like, What wouldpeople on the other side say
about this? Okay, how would youpush back on that? I wanted to
go back and forth, and you canlearn both sides a lot better
than you're scouring Google. Andso there's just ways to get
depth out of it. But when, whenyou work with it, you start to
understand its PowerPoints andits limitations. And there's
(28:40):
really a lot of options with it,like now you can even create AI
agents. And so every day, forexample, I have one connected to
Zapier, and I just, I can put inan inspiration, and it'll go
through an AI and dump out on anairtable and give me my next
five post topic ideas. And so itjust can save you time on like
(29:01):
the brainstorming, and then Ican start to write, and then.
And so there's just a lot ofdifferent ways that you can use
it. If you play with it,
BEATE CHELETTE (29:08):
yeah, I agree. I use it a lot of research,
especially pain point research,where I send it to scour what
people are talking about rightnow. So it's very, very
powerful. Well, if somebody'slistening to this right now,
what's the one question theyshould ask about their own story
they're telling right now?
Melissa Monte @mindlovemeli (29:31):
Get curious about well, it kind of
depends on where they are withthat. Is it something that
they're holding in? Is itsomething that they're already
proud of? But if there'ssomething that they're still
holding in, ask, Who did Ibecome through this? What
changed in me? And depending onhow much intention you've
(29:52):
brought to this so far, it caneither show you how far you have
to go, or show you how faryou've already gone. For me,
has. In that jail cell, I couldlook back and I'm like, What did
I gain from this? The onlyreason that I'm a thriving
entrepreneur now is because allthe other doors were closed.
What do I understand aboutpeople that I didn't understand
before? Where did I gain empathythat I may not have had empathy
(30:14):
before, whereas judgment droppedthat I may not have judged
before? And so that one questionof who did I become through this
leads to more questions. If youjust stay open and flow with it,
and if nothing comes to youright away, then that's a sign
that you just kind of need todevelop that language with
yourself. I always tell people,you can go on a date with
(30:36):
somebody every single day for ayear, but if you're always
meeting at the movie theater andleaving right when it ends,
you're not going to knowanything about them. It's like
you're dating a stranger. Andmost of us act that way with
ourselves, with our relationshipwith ourselves. We're like,
well, I'm always with myself. Ofcourse, I know me. Do you or do
you know your programming? Doyou sit in silence? Do you ask
questions and allow your ownwisdom to emerge before you
(30:58):
reach for Google or AI? Get toknow yourself, get to know how
you think. Get to know what yourblocks are, your upsides, your
downsides, because then you havesomething to work with. And the
more that you do this, the moreyou can sort of follow your own
flow of wisdom. I
BEATE CHELETTE (31:13):
love that. Thank you so much. And for somebody
who now wants to know more aboutyou, where do we send them?
Melissa Monte @mindlovemeli (31:18):
You can go to my website at
mindlove.com, there's a littlechat box to reach out to me. You
can also find my podcast, mindlove on any of your favorite
podcast platforms, beautiful.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:29):
Well, thank you so much, Melissa, for being so
open and sharing, sharing yourpowerful story, and I admire how
you are taking something thatyou know could have defined who
you were as taking somethingthat defines who you are at the
best possible way. So thank youfor coming on the show.
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (31:50):
Thank you for having me. And one last
thing, just because you inspiredme, is, I think that's the whole
point, is realizing that you getto define yourself. Nothing has
to define you, and that's whatthis whole process is about, is
rewriting the parts that youfeel like were written for you,
because you do have the power todo that. Beautiful.
BEATE CHELETTE (32:09):
I love it. Well.
Thank you so much, and that's itfor us, for today. So if you
feel inspired by this episode,please do share it with one
other person that may need tohear what we talked about today.
Check out Melissa and I see youagain next week, and goodbye.
That's it for this episode ofthe Business Growth Architect
Show, Founders of the Future. Ifyou're done playing small and
(32:29):
ready to build the future onyour terms, subscribe, share and
help us reach more Trailblazerslike you. And if you're serious
about creating, growing andscaling a business that's
aligned with who you are,schedule your uncover session at
uncoverysession.com lead withvision. Move with purpose.
Create your future.
Until the day I found myself sitting
(00:02):
in a jail cell, all I can thinkabout is how to maintain my I
was assaulted after blacking outat a party. I just became this
walking shell with a brightsmile. Our officers opened the
trunk dozens of lock boxesstolen jewelry. But that was
(00:27):
also the moment actually pointedme toward my purpose.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:32):
What if the thing that you're trying to
hide, the thing that you're soashamed of to come to light ends
up being your greatest asset,and Melissa Monte, from Mind
Love, is going to share thatwith us today. And my first
question to you is, Melissa,what's the story that you are so
ashamed of that you didn't wantto share? I
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (00:55):
found that a lot of my life I was
losing who I was. I didn'tunderstand the core of who I was
at a certain time, and it wasalmost as if I was vanishing
from my own life little bylittle, until the day I found
myself sitting in a jail cellwearing torn scrubs and pre worn
panties and obsessing over howto purge my jail food. And so it
(01:20):
escalated so quickly. It wasthat sort of dichotomy of the
moment of realizing I'm sittinghere in a jail cell for felony
charges for a crime I did notcommit, and all I can think
about is how to maintain mybulimia. And as I sat there, I
remember just thinking like,where did I go wrong? I was an
(01:41):
advanced placement student. Iwas on the Dean's list. I
everyone thought I hadeverything going for me, but as
I started to map back my story,I realized that I had spent
years systematicallydisconnecting from my body, and
it started when I was 15. I wasassaulted after blacking out at
a party, and there was a crowdof people actually cheering on
(02:04):
my abuser while I wasunconscious. And so after that,
the only way I really knew howto survive it was to tell myself
that I was fine. I had surfacelevel understanding of self
development. And one of thethings that I had kept since age
12 was mind over matter. So Isaid, I just mind over matter
this. I even laughed it off. Igot really good at performing
(02:26):
strength, but that was also themoment that I stopped trusting
my body, and so I kind of justbecame this walking shell with a
bright smile. But I think whenyou disconnect from yourself
that early, you start to collectsurvival strategies. So I was
binge drinking all the time,party drugs, bulimia. It was
(02:47):
just anything to not feel,numbing the hunger, numbing the
ache, just staying likable, butsmall. And years later, I met
someone, and he was charming andgenerous, and he said all the
right things, and it just feltlike somebody was coming to
sweep me out of my life and intotheirs, which I was wildly open
(03:09):
to at that moment and over time,though, his stories didn't add
up, and I felt it, but I wasignoring it on purpose, because
his dad died the weekend I methim. My dad died when I was 19,
and I just became determined tolove him in a way that I didn't
feel loved and understood when Iwas going through that. And so I
(03:30):
just sort of attributedeverything to that, and wanted
to make him feel okay. But overtime, I found out he was an
alcoholic, which was fine,because it was kind of mirroring
what I was doing. But then Ifound out he was cheating on me
over and over again. I found outhe was addicted to meth, and
(03:51):
then eventually, I tried to getaway from him. I went to Hawaii
to stay with a friend for amonth, just because I couldn't
feel myself at all, and so Iwent away, and I got myself
together, and it felt like I hadhealed, but I when I got back, I
didn't address any of theinternal stuff. Still, I was
(04:12):
still just ignoring the wounds.
And a few weeks later, we wereon our way to lunch, and because
I just got roped back into allof his stories, and then I saw
headlights behind us, and Ithought we were being pulled
over for running a stop sign orsomething, but then the police
forcefully made us get out ofthe car, and I just will never
forget the look on the officer'sface when he opened the trunk
(04:35):
and he found dozens of lockboxes, a Pair of bolt cutters
and cases of stolen jewelry. Ibelieved he had a jewelry
business. He had a whole storyabout it. I even helped him sell
it on eBay. At the time, I couldweigh gold in my hand. I was so
involved in it, and I had noidea all this stuff was stolen.
Because first of all, how didyou steal so much? Of the same
(04:58):
kind of jewelry, which Thereended up being a story for. But
also, why are you selling stolenjewelry on eBay? It never
crossed my mind that this wouldwas an option. I went to jail. I
had my rock bottom moment, andagain, it was just like I was
just remember, sort of floatingthrough like, This can't be
happening to me. And it wassomething about the obsession
over the bulimia in jail thatjust like snapped me into place,
(05:20):
and I said, things have to bedifferent overnight. I
thankfully didn't get a lot ofjail time. I got out on my own
recognizance. I did get a felonyconviction because our cases
were combined, and so because Iwas in Hawaii during his largest
burglary ring spree, I couldhave proven my innocence if I
had gone to court. But if I did,he had to go to court too, and
(05:42):
it would have guaranteed he got10 years in jail or more. And I
was just so used to giving himeverything that I gave him my
freedom too. And so I took thefelony and I moved to LA to try
to get away from him. He stilltormented me for about a year,
breaking into my house, throwinga brick through my windshield,
stalking whoever I looked like Iwas dating, but then he got
(06:05):
arrested for another string ofrobberies, and at that moment, I
realized I was finally free, andso I had to do something with
it. And so I started to justtake little steps to try to
rebuild, but I was rebuildingwith no idea what I was building
or how to rebuild, and sodestroying it was quite messy,
(06:26):
but I learned a lot during thattime, and I also realized that
that moment that could have beenthe thing that many people would
have interpreted As destroyingtheir life actually pointed me
toward my purpose, because ittook away a lot of the options I
think I might have just landedin comfortably with a good job
and golden handcuffs, and itleft one option for me in my
(06:50):
mind, and that wasentrepreneurship. And so I
didn't have one foot in and onefoot out, like most people, I
just went all in, and when Ifinally found the thing I was
meant for, which took years ofreally figuring out what my
story was leading me to. It justtook off, and I grew a podcast
to a million downloads the firstyear. Ended up starting my
(07:11):
business. From there, started topublic speak, and I have to now
credit that moment for who I amtoday.
BEATE CHELETTE (07:21):
So this is so fascinating to me. I mean, first
of all, thank you so much forsharing the story so openly and
vulnerable. I certainly relateto that. My ex husband was an
alcoholic, and I didn't realizethat until much, much, much,
much later, they are so good athiding this. And everybody will
always say to you, like, how didyou not know? You must have
known somewhere. All you know isthat there's something off, but
you don't know what it is, andyou're just trying to justify
(07:44):
it, because they present itpretty logically. So powerful
story for you to get out of it.
So what I want to know now is,what was that turning point for
you? So now here you are. You'resitting in the jail cell. You
are trying to feed your eatingdisorder. What was the thought
process that what kicked in? Wasit survival? Was it wisdom? Can
(08:07):
you can you explain what it was?
Do you know
Melissa Monte @mindlovemelis (08:15):
in that moment, it was actually
more like despair, and I thinkit was something that I had to
feel like, how broken Are you?
And there wasn't like, thishopeful moment in that in that
jail, like, okay, like, I'mgonna fix myself. I actually was
just thinking about how I wasgonna press the reset button,
how, like, I didn't wantanything to do with that person
(08:38):
right there, and that was a hardthing to feel, but I had nothing
to do but feel it. There was nodistraction. And so I just
remember sitting there feelingso much pain, and I hadn't let
myself do that in years, becausethe moment I started to feel
that I reached for something tonumb it, and at this moment, I
had nothing. And so I think itkick started part of my healing,
(09:01):
because I was finally feelingthese layers and layers that
have built up through a sexualassault, through losing my dad,
through just all of the thingsthat I ignored in my life and
didn't allow myself to process.
And so that was the first partof it. And I wish there was this
(09:22):
big aha moment, but all I reallyknew how to do was follow one
seed of inspiration. I knew Iwanted to move away, so I moved
to LA. That's all I knew. Andthen I knew I wanted to feel
good, so I did a yoga class, andI decided to sign up for the
yoga membership. Had no idea howhealing that would be for me,
but it reconnected me to my bodyin a way that I hadn't been
(09:45):
connected to it in years aswell. And I also connected me
with a few more friends thatweren't just about the party
life, and so I was getting theselittle seeds of inspiration, but
I really do credit yoga so muchas. Trivial as that might sound
to some people, because I wasdeveloping a relationship with
myself, and it was the sort ofthe seed that unraveled so many
(10:09):
more steps following. But therewere a lot of steps it took
years and years for me to reallyfeel whole. And there was a lot
of years where I was in what Icall the resistance. It's that
in between of knowing what youshould do and actually feeling
like it's sustainable for you todo. And so I was going to the
yoga class and reading a mindsetbook and then doing copious
(10:34):
amounts of MDMA at night at aparty, waking up hungover, but
scraping myself together foranother yoga class. And that
went on for a really long time,but I think sometimes we don't
see that the seeds are strongenough to grow even when we're
stomping on them a little bitafterwards, like they're still
there. And so eventually some ofthe decisions just didn't really
(10:55):
feel in alignment with who I wasbecoming, and old patterns
started to shed away.
BEATE CHELETTE (11:01):
I can so relate to this. As I'm going through
this loss of my home in thePacific Palisades and my entire
life and losing everything, Ifind myself caught in between
the spot of knowing that thispain is and the grief is so
extraordinary and so intensethat I probably, for the first
(11:22):
time in my life, cannot run awayfrom it. And when you were
sharing your story, it's almostlike I see the parallel to that.
There is this moment it is toobig to run away from it, you
know, everything else. We patchit up, we put it in the box, we
hit it. We were putting fresh,fresh paint on it. Everything
(11:43):
looked good until the momentcomes when you cannot keep it
together anymore. In your work,where you help people to
unleash, sort of this innervoice or the story that they've
been trying to hide, and helpthem to see that it's the most,
most powerful tool. What aresome of these stories that
people try to hide? You know, Iwant to give our audience maybe
(12:04):
some examples to say, oh, yeah,that sounds like me.
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (12:08):
Yeah.
It can be really anything. Itend to find two different types
of people that really benefitfrom story work. Some people
have either a big story, andsometimes that's something
traumatic that they're trying tohide, or at least just something
really big, where they're justlike, nobody can even relate to
this, and then the other peopleare like, I don't even really
(12:29):
have a story. I don't know whatanything is leading me to, but
everyone has a story, and a bigstory isn't too big, and a small
story isn't too small. Whathappens is often for the small
story people, we devalue what alot of people find valuable,
because it's just normal to us.
(12:50):
This is just how things are.
This is how I handle things.
This is what I've been through.
And so it becomes our normal,and it doesn't. We don't really
see the wisdom that we've gainedfrom it. But then the other
people like, oh my gosh, this isa mess. Like, what have I gone
through? I've worked with peoplewho have dealt with sexual
assault as children. I've workedwith people that did something
(13:13):
really bad, went through a phaseof being deceptive in one way or
another. Maybe they cheated ontheir spouse, maybe they stole
things. Maybe they like just aperiod where you were like, I
don't know if I was a goodperson then. And so what I help
people connect to is the wisdomthat they gained from that when
(13:37):
you can stop telling your storyfrom the wound or when you're
still bleeding out, that's goingto have a different effect
story. It's still okay to shareyour story at those times,
because especially women, weoften process through speaking.
So I'm not saying it's not good,but there's a difference between
if you're thinking that you arehelping people heal, but really
(14:03):
you're trauma dumping. There'sjust kind of two different
levels of that. So it's soimportant that we find that
wisdom, we figure out what wegain from that, who we became
from that, before we share ifwe're trying to help people
heal. If you're trying toprocess it, then, yeah, share
all you can find the trustedperson that won't be judgmental,
(14:26):
that'll ask you the rightquestions. Maybe that's a
therapist. Maybe it's your bestfriend, but yeah, so story is
powerful on all the ends of thespectrum. But again, if you're
trying to make it your message,then you should understand what
that message is, so that itbecome, it can become medicine.
BEATE CHELETTE (14:47):
What is the fear behind that? So if I were to
admit that all these thingsactually happened, so you say
that people may be concernedthat they're trauma dumping, but
on the other hand, they might bejust concerned. And about not
having the secret come out. Andthe reason I ask is that I
(15:07):
remember my mother, whathappened in the family. We were
not allowed to share so to thisday, when I talk about the
trauma or the abuse, which I hadcompletely eliminated out of my
brain until I went on Ayahuascajourney, and then I had it like
(15:30):
hit me with a ton of bricks,which is why I've avoided doing
that kind of work for so long,because I didn't want to know.
And then when I did do it, theneverything I was afraid of
became true and happened all atonce, and then I'm left with
dealing something that I'vetried so hard to forget. What is
it? How do I give myselfpermission to even go there and
(15:53):
not be judgmental of theexperience? Because it's bad
form in the world. When you talkbad about your parents. They did
the best they could. You justwait until your parent yourself,
and then you see how hard it is.
We don't give ourselvespermission, or society doesn't
give ourselves permission to ownthese stories, because we are
taught that it's wrong to putthis all out there. How do you
(16:18):
deal with that.
Melissa Monte @mindlovemeliss (16:21):
I realized at an early age that
people take things as youpresent to them most often, and
so again, when you are connectedto your story and the truth of
your story that's conveyedthrough when you share it with
somebody else, it is much morerare for them to come up with
their own judgment when youaren't holding internal judgment
(16:44):
about yourself, the judgmenttends to come out more when
they're reflecting that back toyou. But what I would do, I'm
going to use air quotes when Isay wrong, because I don't
really think anything's wrong.
I've always kind of been anoutspoken person. I always have
been an over sharer, but I wouldshare for the shock factor. So
even for a few years after thatfelony, yeah, there were people
(17:08):
I didn't tell, like, maybeparticular job bosses, till I
got close enough to them, thenwe'd have some drinks, and I'd
be like, Oh yeah, I got a felonyat 22 and you still hired me.
And I just, like, kind of laughit off. But I realized I did
this more for armor. It wasanother way of keeping people
away, and it was just it wasjust as much armor as not
sharing anything. And so what Ihelp people with now is how to
(17:32):
find that resonance. But first,you do need to heal again. If
you're not holding shame aboutit, it becomes a lot easier to
share it without shame, and thenyou give other people permission
to share their stories. I alsorealized that so many of the
things I was afraid of happeningnever happened when I shared.
Yes, I've come across judgmentalpeople along the way, but
(17:54):
usually it's not about the storyI'm sharing. They were looking
for something to confirm theirbiases about me as it was, and
now they heard this, and it'ssomething to latch on to. I
don't have control over that.
Their story is not mine, butit's all about processing it
yourself, knowing how you feelabout it. Because again, if
(18:14):
you're not holding shame aboutit, even if somebody does react
in a way that's judgmental. I'mnot going to feel that shame
because I already released it.
That shame can be theirs. I getto choose what I pick up and put
down.
BEATE CHELETTE (18:28):
That's powerful.
I like this a lot, and I dobelieve in the healing of
ourselves, we have to tell thestories, or let these stories
come out, because the reasonother people don't want you to
tell the story sets on them.
It's your story. It's your life.
You can do literally whateverthe heck you want with it,
right? I want to shift thisconversation a little bit over
(18:49):
to some of the things you talkabout as it comes to AI and
storytelling. So the premise ofwhat the work is that you do is
that the story you try to hidethe most has the most impact.
How does now AI and AIstorytelling and AI, in my
personal opinion, is the mostmediocre version of everything
(19:13):
out there. So you put yourselfin there, unless you know how to
prompt it or rework the prompt,or rewrite it, it will give you
the most mediocre feedback,because it's trained to look for
all these different things. Howdoes storytelling and AI connect
in your world?
Melissa Monte @mindlovemelis (19:32):
In my world, it amplifies
authenticity. But again, it'sstarting from knowing yourself
well again, there's two ways touse it. I actually have
developed some tools that helppeople process it, that help
people go through the questionsit asks them questions and
mirrors back to them what ithears. And that's one of the
powerful things about AI, isthat AI is a mirror, and so a
(19:56):
lot of people are just writingthings in and trying to get
facts back. And my AI might saysomething different than yours,
because it's mirroring back ourbelief system. It's it's showing
us things about ourselves. SoI've learned a lot about myself
from Ai, but I also think thatwe always need to be aware of
the downsides of things beforewe go all in, like if I just
(20:20):
completely started replacing mythought process with just AI.
I'm going to be parts of mybrain are going to be
disintegrating because they'renot in use. You have to use it
or lose it. I teach people howto use AI. I'm kind of an AI
power user. I've taken manymasterminds and programs on it.
Just because I missed the waveof getting on Instagram right
(20:41):
when it came out, I wasn't goingto miss the wave of AI. Okay,
this is the very beginning. Youcan get ahead now. It's not
going away. There were plenty ofpeople who were like, I'm not
using the internet. Blah, blah,blah that. Where are they now?
Are they still not using theinternet? Actually, that's what
AI is right now. So we canresist it all that we want, but
(21:02):
you're going to be left behind.
I would prefer with newtechnologies to again,
understand it as well aspossible, including its upsides,
how, what? And knowing myselfwell enough to say, okay, what
are my strong suits and what aremy weaknesses? How can AI build
up those weaknesses so I canhave more energy and time to put
out my message that I've alreadyrefined. Many people are using
(21:25):
AI to just create their message,and then they sound like
everybody else on the internet.
Go for it, because you'realready blending in. You know,
you're not standing out. Butwhen you have a voice, when you
have a message, then suddenlyit's like you have an assistant
to do a lot of this work for youto just spread it a little bit
(21:47):
further, to create a little bitfaster. Give
BEATE CHELETTE (21:50):
us like an example of something where you
found what this is like, one ofmy favorite things, or my
favorite tools, or this is onetrick.
Melissa Monte @mindlovemelis (21:58):
Oh yeah. Well, I highly recommend
that if you're really going toget into AI to get a pro
account, because there's a lotmore benefits you can you can
program it with your voice.
There's a little Preferencessection, telling them who you
are, things that you believe,what side of the political
spectrum you're on, what thingsyou don't believe about
(22:19):
mainstream. You can just put inanything you want about yourself
that might train the words thatit says. You can put in your
tone. And so what I like to dois I have a very long prompt. I
think most often very shortprompts give you mediocre
answers, but when you canactually create understand how
to prompt the technology, Ireverse engineer things that I'm
(22:40):
already proud of that I wrote.
And so I took a speech that Iwrote, for example, dumped it in
there, had it reverse engineertones, styles. There's about
nine different points that canreally pull out a voice in my
tone prompt. And so then when Icreate something else using that
prompt, it sounds very close tome. I also create projects for
(23:03):
all the different areas of in mylife, and then each of those can
have their own instructions. SoI, for example, got blood work
done, but I'm not really amainstream pharmaceutical
person, and so I got my bloodwork done, put it in and then
put in a bunch of documents thatI have around traditional
Chinese medicine, and had itread my blood work and give me
(23:27):
tips on how to heal usingtraditional Chinese medicine. I
have another one for mypregnancy. I have another one
for the book I'm writing, and soeach one kind of has its own
custom instructions, but I evenhave used it for almost like
therapy, but again, you have toprogram it with your worldview.
(23:49):
And so the way that I viewthings is through universal
laws. For example, like my viewof God is God is this divine
matrix, and this world is aholographic illusion set in
place by all of the Divine laws.
And so I have the Divine laws inthere. And when I'm having an
issue that I'm just like, whycan't I get over this judgment?
Or why is my mom bugging me somuch? Whatever it is, I'll just
(24:10):
like, voice it in there, but ithas that one prompt to go
through. So it's not giving megeneric AI advice. It's actually
showing, well, the law ofreflection might be showing you
that you're judging your momtoo. I use AI for a lot of
different things, but again,very wary of not wanting or
wanting to keep parts of mybrain in use. And so I'll a lot
(24:31):
of times, I'll try to do thingson my own first, and then I'll
go to AI for some moreinspiration, and kind of go back
and forth with the two methods
BEATE CHELETTE (24:41):
that's amazing.
What I'm taking away so far isthat you the first step is to
really look into your story andto acknowledge your life story,
and then figure out which piecesof these are appropriate to tell
or you're ready to tell. Andwhat their point is and how they
fit into the overall story. Thesecond thing I'm taking away so
(25:04):
far is that I can utilize toolslike AI to amplify but then
instead of just looking at itlike a cheap assistant somewhere
in some other part of the world,treated like a good, smart
employee that gets benefits.
(25:28):
It's almost like you're talkingabout like it has a higher value
than most people talk about AI.
You talk about it differently.
You talk about it like youdevelop the relationship with
the way you are, you'reutilizing, you're utilizing is,
did I hit that spot on? Do youwant to make any adjustments to
my takeaways?
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (25:49):
Yeah, I do have a couple of
clarifications, but you're spoton. One thing that I do like to
say is, yes, often the thingthat you're holding the closest
to yourself, like maybe you'remost ashamed of it, or it's this
thing that you can't get out. Itdoesn't mean that we don't have
to have any secrets, or we don'tget to have any secrets. It's
(26:11):
perfectly fine to choose whichparts of your life you share and
you don't share. I challengepeople to get curious about that
thing, because I believe it'snot possible for you to hold in
something, if you're reallyholding it because you're
ashamed of it, you're carryingshame that's in your body. And a
lot of new research is showingthat holding on to shame and
(26:33):
trauma is what creates disease,and so maybe you process your
story and you never share it outloud to the world that's not
necessary, but test it with oneperson, or get really curious
about it with just yourself fora year. Like, really dig into
it, figure out what it taughtyou. I have a seven step
framework where I help peoplekind of go through where you
(26:56):
started, like, what were yourbeliefs about this area of your
life first? What was the firstthing that kind of got you out
of that mindset? Like, often,that's the trauma for people.
What was the awakening afterthat? Did you learn anything?
What was that resistance periodthat I talked about where you
knew you should do somethingdifferent and you couldn't, but
then you finally made thechoice, and then you embodied
(27:17):
that, and then the goal, thewisdom that you extracted from
it. So those are my seven stepsto really see that story in a
new way. And anyone that I'vewalked through this has had aha
moments about what that time intheir life was really how it was
serving them in a way, even asdark as it may seem. But again,
(27:37):
that doesn't mean you need to goout and be an influencer and
share your darkest moment onInstagram, but get it out, feel
it, process it, becauseotherwise, just like me, it
might be manifesting in waysthat you have even less control
over. And then with AI, yes, Ithink you learn a lot when you
(27:57):
work with AI, exactly how itworks. It's not like the bearer
of truth. It's actually wrongquite a bit, and sometimes in
very weird ways, it'll get thefacts wrong, or it'll just pull
from whatever's on the firstpage of Google, which is
manipulated by maybe an industryof some sort. And so when I'm
actually trying to learn fromit, I challenge it, I go back
(28:19):
and forth. I'm like, What wouldpeople on the other side say
about this? Okay, how would youpush back on that? I wanted to
go back and forth, and you canlearn both sides a lot better
than you're scouring Google. Andso there's just ways to get
depth out of it. But when, whenyou work with it, you start to
understand its PowerPoints andits limitations. And there's
(28:40):
really a lot of options with it,like now you can even create AI
agents. And so every day, forexample, I have one connected to
Zapier, and I just, I can put inan inspiration, and it'll go
through an AI and dump out on anairtable and give me my next
five post topic ideas. And so itjust can save you time on like
(29:01):
the brainstorming, and then Ican start to write, and then.
And so there's just a lot ofdifferent ways that you can use
it. If you play with it,
BEATE CHELETTE (29:08):
yeah, I agree. I use it a lot of research,
especially pain point research,where I send it to scour what
people are talking about rightnow. So it's very, very
powerful. Well, if somebody'slistening to this right now,
what's the one question theyshould ask about their own story
they're telling right now?
Melissa Monte @mindlovemeli (29:31):
Get curious about well, it kind of
depends on where they are withthat. Is it something that
they're holding in? Is itsomething that they're already
proud of? But if there'ssomething that they're still
holding in, ask, Who did Ibecome through this? What
changed in me? And depending onhow much intention you've
(29:52):
brought to this so far, it caneither show you how far you have
to go, or show you how faryou've already gone. For me,
has. In that jail cell, I couldlook back and I'm like, What did
I gain from this? The onlyreason that I'm a thriving
entrepreneur now is because allthe other doors were closed.
What do I understand aboutpeople that I didn't understand
before? Where did I gain empathythat I may not have had empathy
(30:14):
before, whereas judgment droppedthat I may not have judged
before? And so that one questionof who did I become through this
leads to more questions. If youjust stay open and flow with it,
and if nothing comes to youright away, then that's a sign
that you just kind of need todevelop that language with
yourself. I always tell people,you can go on a date with
(30:36):
somebody every single day for ayear, but if you're always
meeting at the movie theater andleaving right when it ends,
you're not going to knowanything about them. It's like
you're dating a stranger. Andmost of us act that way with
ourselves, with our relationshipwith ourselves. We're like,
well, I'm always with myself. Ofcourse, I know me. Do you or do
you know your programming? Doyou sit in silence? Do you ask
questions and allow your ownwisdom to emerge before you
(30:58):
reach for Google or AI? Get toknow yourself, get to know how
you think. Get to know what yourblocks are, your upsides, your
downsides, because then you havesomething to work with. And the
more that you do this, the moreyou can sort of follow your own
flow of wisdom. I
BEATE CHELETTE (31:13):
love that. Thank you so much. And for somebody
who now wants to know more aboutyou, where do we send them?
Melissa Monte @mindlovemeli (31:18):
You can go to my website at
mindlove.com, there's a littlechat box to reach out to me. You
can also find my podcast, mindlove on any of your favorite
podcast platforms, beautiful.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:29):
Well, thank you so much, Melissa, for being so
open and sharing, sharing yourpowerful story, and I admire how
you are taking something thatyou know could have defined who
you were as taking somethingthat defines who you are at the
best possible way. So thank youfor coming on the show.
Melissa Monte @mindloveme (31:50):
Thank you for having me. And one last
thing, just because you inspiredme, is, I think that's the whole
point, is realizing that you getto define yourself. Nothing has
to define you, and that's whatthis whole process is about, is
rewriting the parts that youfeel like were written for you,
because you do have the power todo that. Beautiful.
BEATE CHELETTE (32:09):
I love it. Well.
Thank you so much, and that's itfor us, for today. So if you
feel inspired by this episode,please do share it with one
other person that may need tohear what we talked about today.
Check out Melissa and I see youagain next week, and goodbye.
That's it for this episode ofthe Business Growth Architect
Show, Founders of the Future. Ifyou're done playing small and
(32:29):
ready to build the future onyour terms, subscribe, share and
help us reach more Trailblazerslike you. And if you're serious
about creating, growing andscaling a business that's
aligned with who you are,schedule your uncover session at
uncoverysession.com lead withvision. Move with purpose.
Create your future.
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