Q: Why does addiction have such a powerful ripple effect on the family?
A: It turns out that the whole family becomes sick as a consequence of alcoholism or drug addiction striking any one individual in the family. Family members carry shame and guilt over their loved one’s disorder. At first, they deny the problem exists. Then they try to control the uncontrollable. They lie to the neighbours, cast blame on each other and the addict and forge an unhealthy co-dependency if it isn’t already a main feature within the family.
Typically, it’s the mum or wife who bears the greatest burden. She is only OK if her addict son or husband is OK, and more important, OK with her. That’s the essence of co-dependency: tied to each other emotionally, with one party (mum, usually) trying her best to control a disorder which is out of control within her son.
The disease is progressive, cunning, baffling and powerful. Sometimes fatal. As it says in recovery literature: “Without help, it is too much for us”. It is way too much for any one family member to tackle on their own.
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