It is well said and true that resentments are the #1 killer of addicts and alcoholics. If we lead a life of deceit, manipulation and the direct pursuit of pleasure to the exclusion of everything else, we will find ourselves resenting those who get in the way of our pursuits. None of these resentments are justified, yet we carry them around like a bag of rocks, weighing our spirit down. It is not until we work the 4th and 5th steps that we disclose our resentments and why they feel justified when they are, not. Most of the time, the people we resent are innocent of any crime. And even if in the rare event that they may have hurt us, there comes a time for us to forgive them, so that we can let go of the hurt.
In early recovery, it’s crucial not to take everything personally as we did when we were using and drinking. People will always be their imperfect selves, unto themselves, and that is perfectly ok. It’s not just about “me” anymore. We start to care about others, for we are no longer as self-centred as we were before we got clean and sober.
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