October 12, 2023 • 35 mins
Ever found yourself stuck in a whirlwind of societal pressures, uncertain about how to carve out your own path? Our latest guest, Stacey Vanthuyne, a renowned performance consultant, coach, and speaker, joins us today to share her personal journey from leaving a corporate job and embarking on her own entrepreneurial venture. Hear her reveal the transformational wisdom she gleaned along the way, including uncovering the importance of aligning actions with values, breaking away from the toxic narrative of procrastination, and the power of saying no to the unimportant.
As Stacey takes us through her journey, she shines a light on the often overlooked aspects of personal fulfilment and time management. Stacey deconstructs our habitual behaviors, emphasizing how they directly reflect on our external world. She offers practical advice on overcoming self-defeating narratives and understanding the alignment of our actions with our values. Stacey's insight into the influence of our thought patterns on our stress and anxiety levels is truly thought-provoking. Her compelling revelations prompt us to introspect our mindset and strive for a brighter, positive outlook.
In the final stretch, Stacey uncovers the daunting topics of fear, judgement, and goal setting. Drawing from her own experiences, she shares how confronting the fear of societal judgement can be liberating and transformative. Delving into the dynamics of goal setting, she encourages us to set objectives that not only challenge us but also help us realize our innate potential. Stacey's conversation concludes with an important narrative around delegating tasks and understanding our strengths to manage our time more effectively. So, tune in to this inspiring conversation and allow Stacey's unique perspectives to guide you on your path to personal growth and effective time management.
Until next time... Follow on Instagram @buytimepodcast
Follow Jacob K. Mead on all the socials @jacobkmead
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everybody, this is Jacob K Mead and this is the
Buy Time podcast, where wediscuss everything there is to
know about buying back your time.
Be sure to like and follow andshare with somebody who needs to
buy back their time.
Enjoy today's episode.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Buy Time podcast.
I'm your host, jacob K Mead,and today I'm super excited
(00:21):
because we actually have StaceyVan Thun here.
She's actually a performanceconsultant, coach and speaker.
She really specializes insteering individuals from
success to significance and soactually seeing that is amazing,
and she's done a really greatjob helping a lot of business
owners, even with wealthmanagement, enhancing wealth,
better time management andoptimized performance.
(00:42):
So, stacey, I'm super excitedthat you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hey, thank you.
I'm excited to be here andlooking forward to this
conversation.
I know it's going to be juicy.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Absolutely Well.
What better person to talkabout time management than a
coach like yourself?
So go ahead and talk to us alittle bit about your background
.
What made you get started inall of this?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, absolutely Well .
Thanks for everyone listeningtoday.
You are in fantastic hands.
Listening to Jacob around BuyTime.
Mine's been quite the journey,truthfully.
I came out of the societalpressures of making sure I get
those check marks and went touniversity, got my degree in
(01:25):
business and spent over 22 yearsin change management and people
leadership and I found myselfat this crossroads around 40,
really wondering is this as goodas it gets?
Is this what I truly want?
And at that time I had a personask me what my goals were in
life and I instantly went in totalking about my children and
(01:50):
how excited it would make me tosee them super successful.
And then I was saving for theiruniversity and the person
stopped me and said you know,that's a great dream for your
kids, but what about you?
And it was at that moment thatI was just like holy, I don't
know what you want.
(02:10):
And I just really had to stopand think.
You know, I start to look at mygoals and all the goals that I
had wanted as far as gettinginto an executive level suite
and in encouraging teams andfinding efficiencies and
businesses and developing peopleI was living.
So the next big goal I had, Iguess, was to retire.
(02:30):
And I was just like, wait asecond, like it's still like 25
plus years away, like thatdoesn't really excite me.
Why and I realized in thatmoment because I started to
explore the power of mindset isthe reason why that goal was
like not exciting is that thepurpose of a goal is to expand
(02:53):
and to grow.
And yet I knew how to retire.
I just had to continue working,doing what I was, and continue
saving, and I would get there.
And so it was at that time thatI really started to dig deep and
kind of go on my owntransformation journey, like,
like to call it, like uncovering, un-layering these masks that
I'd adopted over the first halfof well, more than the first
(03:14):
half of my life, like the first40 some years of my life, to
really get to a place where Icould answer what do I want for
me.
And it was really in there thatI'd always want to be a
consultant and help differentcompanies.
But I recognized that I hadthis underlying belief that it
(03:35):
was safer and best to continueworking with a company and
making sure that I got mypension and everything else.
But that wasn't the gifts thatI have and what.
So I just started, like I said,to study mindset on a huge
theological platform as well asa scientific background, and I
recognized well, holy shit, thereason that I'm not feeling
(03:57):
fulfilled in life is because Idon't have a goal that's bigger
than what I know how to do, andit's time I found one.
So that's what sent me here,and now I'm consulting, helping
people to figure out what theywant to create more in their
lives too.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I love that, you know .
I think in society we have thisthing that tells us hell, go
get a good job.
You know, save money in a 401k,retire.
It's like this pipeline ofeverything that you're supposed
to do.
And then the minute you say,well, I'm thinking about opening
up a business and you're making$120,000 a year, people look at
you and they go you're crazy,why would you do that?
(04:31):
You have a good paying job, youhave the benefits, and then
they start to give you all thereasons not to go do something.
And so it was.
It was similar to me when Iopened up my business for the
very first time.
It was people telling me well,you're leaving a really good
paying job, what if you don'tmake it?
And it's almost.
It's hard to overcome that atfirst because you have to tell
yourself it's not about the whatifs.
(04:52):
I see so many people get caughtup in that.
What if?
What if I fail?
What if I don't do it this?
What if I lose all this money?
What if I do this?
What if you don't?
You will be thinking about thatyour entire life, thinking what
if I succeeded versus not eventrying.
So I love that you talk aboutthat and it's hard to actually
make that first step.
And then I bet you can evenstill think about that.
(05:12):
First time you made that firststep.
What was that like for you?
You made that transition.
You went from that corporateworld to doing something on your
own.
Talk to me a little bit aboutthat.
How was that?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Well, it's very slow transition at first because
ultimately it was like it's overmy back of my shoulder.
I got thinking go rich and mymentor was Bob Proctor and I
trained with Bob and you know,in Napoleon Hill's book he says
like burn the ships.
And they're like burn the ships.
I'm like, I'm a single mom.
I've got, you know, a 10 and aseven year old they were at that
time and I was really startingthis journey.
They're not 15 and 12, but like, like, easier said than done,
(05:46):
right.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Oh 100%.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It's.
Here's the lessons I've learnedof around.
That is one.
You talk about the what ifs.
It's so easy for us tocalculate what we can lose
versus what we can gain, andit's not just the people that
are saying you know what are youdoing?
Like you like exactly what yousay.
You're earning over six figures.
Like you've got the dream joband everything but recognizing.
I think this is where my passioncomes now, to helping
(06:10):
individuals that have achieved alevel of success but still
don't find themselves fulfilled.
And what's a life when youdon't feel fulfilled, when you
know there's more within you,like I used to, I'm tapping my
chest right now.
You can't see if you're the one, but like it was.
Like this beast inside was likelet me out, let me out and I
would start to do other you knowthings to tame her, whether
(06:32):
that was gossiping about anotherperson going shopping, having
an additional glass of wine,like all of these external
things that people havenormalized.
While you're over four, youshould do that while you're
doing this.
Oh, you shouldn't.
No, you shouldn't.
Like.
It's not just the other peoplethat try to keep you safe, it's
your job of your subconsciousmind.
So your subconscious mind findsevidence of every reason and
(06:54):
thing that would make you scaredto take that leap.
But for me, what I started to dowas look back and say well, you
know what?
I did always have a dream, upuntil this point, of living like
a life that my parents hadprovided to me and a little bit
better.
And when I had that goal and Iset that goal, let's say when I
was 18, going to school, Ididn't know how, I just knew I
(07:17):
would.
And when it was for me, I wokeup and guess what I was living?
Life that my parents had givenme and a little bit better.
But it wasn't more, because Ihadn't dreamed about it being
more.
And I think that that's where itwas just like well, huh, if I
could do it before and I'venever let myself down in the
past why would this be anydifferent?
(07:38):
The only thing that's changedis that I haven't used my
imagination, I haven'tfantasized, I haven't allowed
myself to dream greater thanwhat I need to do and know how
to do.
And so I mean it is a practicethat you start to rewrite that
narrative, but then I had tostart to rewrite the narrative.
No, I'm so happy and gratefulnow that I'm consulting and
(08:01):
helping people shape their livesto achieve great things greater
than what they ever knew, andevery single day, putting that
in until one day, I was like,hey, what the hell am I still
doing out of corporate world?
I'm a freaking consultanthelping people around the world
and it was like bam right, so itreally is.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
But I mean the person I love that it's so true,
because when you're a consultant, when you're a coach, you start
to realize it's not about youanymore, it's about the person
that you're helping.
How can you take them to thenext level?
How can you help them in theareas of life that they need?
And it's not all about money,and that's something that I
coach a lot on is okay.
Time you look at time, everyonetalks about these assets.
(08:41):
Well, how many assets do youhave?
And banks use assets, and thebiggest asset that you can have
is your time.
It's the most valuable asset,because nobody, you can't get
that back.
You can't get time back.
So what are?
Do you have some tips, sometricks on some time management
things, especially forentrepreneurs and business
owners?
We need it.
(09:01):
What are some things that youfind work?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay, I want to explore the theology of like why
people misuse their time.
We have these things that arecalled paradigms that exist in
our subconscious mind andparadigms is a fancy word for
saying habits and theyunconsciously control how we
spend money, how ourrelationships go, what our
(09:29):
health is like and how weprioritize our time.
The reality is, 95% of what wedo is habitual.
So if your parents were alwayslate or just leaving just in
time, chances are you show uplike that, you know, and you
could be having these employees.
It's important to know, asleaders of businesses, that you
may have an employee that'sconsistently late and you pull
(09:52):
them in and you say, hey, like Istart at nine, I need you here
at five, nine, eight.
I smile, and the next daythey're there at five to nine
right, but over time goes backto nine.
Why?
Because it is not an alignmentwith that paradigm that is
controlling their lives, and soI think it's really important
(10:13):
when we're giving tips is torecognize why we do what we do,
why we think what we think andhow our results come to be, and
especially when we're talkingabout time, because that is
something that is conditioned inyour life to use it to waste it
, to whatever.
So one.
I think people have to stoptelling themselves that they're
(10:36):
procrastinators and that they'relazy, and that you know they
have a hard time doing stuff,because when you tell that to
your mind and yourself, you actin that way, which again causes
you to misalign with the timethat you have Right.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
So you are what you say you are.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You are what you say you are.
And again, like this is not new.
Everyone's like, yeah, probablylistening to this, like, oh, I
wonder if she can tell mesomething new.
But I'll tell you what you'vegot to.
Hear it and hear it and hear itagain till your actions change.
Your outside world is directreflection of how you feel
inside on that deep subconsciouslevel.
So you may know it.
But if you're still showing upin time and not in time, or if
(11:15):
you are still finding, I thinkthe newest addiction for
everybody is being busy.
It's almost like we put peopleon a pedestal if they're like so
busy.
But to me, being so busy means,in the misalignment of your
priorities, that you're sayingyes to things that don't matter.
Same with procrastination.
Like I would always even saythat to myself.
I no longer say that, so I'mafraid to whisper that.
(11:36):
But here's the thing is thatwhen I don't persist and follow
through in an action, now I nowdon't feel shame and guilt for
it.
I now look at what the thingwas that I was going to persist
through, because I can findevidence in my life that when
that thing that I'm doing issomething that I truly want.
Guess what?
(11:57):
I persist, guess what I'm ontime, guess what it gets done.
So I started to really startand I, you know both of us
should be helping peopleunderstand what is important to
you, and if it's not, a hell yes, then get it off your plate.
And when we start to just focusin on what we want and what's
(12:20):
in alignment with our values,all of a sudden that opens up
capacity in our time toprioritize.
You know, there's this thingcalled the vacuum law.
We can only fit so many thingsinto our vessel and if you
consistently want to keep addingbut never revisiting and
looking at what's in that vessel, you get crumped in.
(12:41):
So it's really about, as far astips One, making sure what
you're doing is alignment withwhat you truly want and values.
Two, looking at some of thosehabitual patterns that you do
and start understanding why youdo that and if it is something
that waste your time, startreprogramming your mind.
Reach out to me afterwards onhow to get more succinct with
(13:02):
that.
But also three is just sayingno To things that aren't gonna
move you in the direction ofthat, what you truly designed,
which is that goal?
So I think it also comesthrough being a goal and knowing
what you want and what'simportant to your family.
If that's it too, I mean youand our both business owners,
(13:23):
both like have otherOpportunities going on, plus our
kids, plus their sports, plusour own health, plus, plus, plus
, plus.
There's this meme of Krilla deVilla.
I don't know if you're seeingit, but she's like freaking
crazy.
Her hair goes crazy.
It's just like trying to keepup with all these things and
it's like portrays this picturethat you have to be mad, and If
(13:43):
you believe that, then you willbe that.
That's where we have to stopnormalizing busy and say you
chose that.
So if you're finding yourselfrolled out, then you can choose
differently.
What is it that you want toprioritize today?
And stick to it.
Keep the promises you make toyourself.
There's a lot of tips.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I'm sorry, that is so good.
That is that I mean, that issome good stuff right there.
Because it's so true, you getso overwhelmed and I coach a lot
on this, especially with otherbusiness owners.
It's like they come to me thereI just don't have time to do
that this week, right now, timeto do that today.
And I go well, why don't youhave time?
And then they give me a list ofall the things are doing.
I go well, how can youprioritize this?
How can you hand this off?
(14:22):
Well, no one else does itbetter than me.
I go if they do it 80% betterthan you, it's still better to
hand it off because you canutilize your time somewhere else
.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's a self-worth thing to me too, like we cover
behind this and we say, oh,nobody can do it is better than
me.
But the truth of the matter is,yes, they can if they, if
you're truly a leader whodevelops people and you can't
expect them to be a hundredpercent at first.
But those little things, a lot,gives people a sense of like,
like, like a dopamine hit.
(14:51):
It's a dope.
Yeah right because they're likeoh my gosh, I got that check
mark off my list, but thosethings aren't things that are
moving you in the direction ofwhat it is that you truly want.
You know, and I think this goesback to when we're at school.
Well, we were told like getyour strengths, get your
weaknesses, build yourweaknesses up so that you're a
balanced person.
That's such bullshit.
(15:12):
Know your strengths, know yourweaknesses, manage your
weaknesses and build yourstrengths.
They're your strengths becauseyou're good at them.
They're the strengths becauseyou like them.
So, if you're a business owner,focus on what you do well and
then look at those things thatmaybe take you extra time
because you're not good at themand or you don't have the desire
to do them and delegate that.
But if it's these like Thingswhere you're actually supposed
(15:35):
to build your team out, likeagain, how, what is it that they
like to do?
What is it that they want?
And if it's something that theywant and they're good at it,
it's time to let them fly sothat you can do more of what
you're good at.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I love it when I see my employees just succeed and go
above and beyond and it'sAmazing the first time that you
let them do something on theirown the accomplishment that they
have from doing that, oh man,it's such, it's such a good,
good feeling, it's it's I can'teven explain, it's just
overwhelming.
So that's, that's awesome.
So as a business owner and weall we all get get here is
(16:11):
Stress.
Stress is like the number onething.
Yeah, you can keep you up atnight.
You're laying there constantlythinking about all the different
tasks you can do.
Now, me myself, I do thatdifferently.
I think of all the differenttasks I can do and then I think
of everything that can, that, aperson that can either do those
Tasks, or some sort of systemand I can put in place to
actually make those tasks easier.
So I have that different kindof mindset.
(16:32):
But when we talk about stress,I know it eats up a lot of
people's time.
So what are some liketechniques and practices that
you'd rest recommend forreducing stress and kind of
regaining that?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I Love this question.
Okay, let's analyze wherestress comes from for a second,
because I think it's importantthat when you know where it
comes from, Then you can help toaddress it sometimes it comes
from my two kids.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I'm not going to lie about that now.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Right, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
But but how is it formed?
Right, because I think this isthe other thing is that one
thing that everybody has is thesame amount of time.
We all have the same amount oftime in a day and times a man
might construct, right, we knowthat.
Even so, it's kind of thisillusion of time.
But when it comes to stress, ifyou back that up, if, if I, I
(17:19):
believe, and so I am curiouswith your audience after to
share their thoughts around this, but if we believe, whether
it's theology of thought orscience of thought, they all say
the same thing, right,everything that ever is and ever
will be is already here in oneform or another.
Nothing is created or destroyed.
There's a power flowing in andthrough us.
Everything just is.
(17:39):
We assign the meaning to itbased off of our past
experiences and this internalconditioning that we have from
growing up.
So when you look at energy justas is, we can assign a negative
or a positive polarity to it,and if you start to go down the
path of a negative polarity toit, you have the, the baseline,
(18:00):
might my mentor Bob would alwayssay the.
The only problem like peoplewill have is ignorance of not
knowing.
And if you look at ignorance andyou kind of go through that and
you don't know something, youstart to worry, you start to
doubt it.
That worry and doubt starts todrive you to fear.
And that fear is like thingsthat are Impressed they're
(18:21):
suppressed inwards, right.
It makes Almost like anxietythat leads to stress, that leads
to honesty, a body breakingdown at discharge, ease of
disintegration.
So when you think of stressfrom that point and you go I say
, oh my god, this stress iscoming from me being worry or
doubtful or fearing something.
(18:41):
What is that and how is thishelping me?
And I'm not saying this is easy, but this is the awareness part
, because on the opposite side,if you were to put the positive
polarity to it, that theopposite of ignorance is what
Knowledge, knowledge fromunderstanding which builds, what
faith that builds, what thatcontinues like, you go through a
thing of well-being, well-being, feeling that are expressed,
(19:05):
they go to a body at ease tocreation.
So I really like to Leverageswhen I'm starting to feel stress
is like what thoughts am Iengaging in that is making me
feel this way?
And I know that it stems fromfear, doubt, worry and ignorance
.
So what is it?
And I more worried about thepast and that showing up in my
(19:26):
future, then falling in lovemore with the future and the
ideas of what it is that I wantto create.
And when I do that, if webelieve thoughts become things,
all it's going to happen is mytomorrow is going to look
exactly like yesterday.
Maybe I should be fearful ofthat, but it takes awareness,
and so tips on.
Stress is again what is it thatyou want and say no to
(19:48):
everything else?
For me, a big stress, too, wasyou know what would other people
think?
Because I was fearful of that.
And being a people pleaser andkeeping up with the Joneses
Versus being aligned with whatit is.
It's truly important to me, andyet you get to all these people
there and say, once I turn 30,I didn't give a shit.
What other people think?
Really, I Really.
Then why are you still doingthings that you think your
(20:10):
parents want you to do, orthat's easier for you to do than
you think?
And just being real and lovableand I've been there and this is
why I can just say this is whathas helped me the most in
overcoming it and recognizingthat when we're stressed, we're
hitting our body with cortisoland we're causing ourselves to
get sick, and so then thatevidence shows up in our lives
(20:32):
and we have to say whoa, whoa, Igot to stop this, I got to
start to find addiction, andthat hit a rush of energy from
the things that I want, not thatI fear.
I heard this great analogy theother day say you can't fear
something that you haven't done.
So, for example, if I say I'mfearful of heights and I was in
Phoenix last week and doing somehiking, and if I got to this,
(20:53):
oh my gosh, I can't go on thathike, it's going to be too many
heights, I can't see it right.
But before you know what, I'mtalking with my kids and I look
down and all these shit, I'm atthe edge.
Also, I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of falling when I
get pushed over and I start tofall.
Now I'm not afraid of falling,I'm fearful of landing.
So these types of fears that webreak up, that aren't even true
(21:16):
yet in our minds, is what'scalling us being stressed, and
that's what we can, by the powerof thought, move ourselves into
these states of anxiety.
Well, leverage that and becomeaware, and in that same breath,
you can also bring yourself tothese places of at ease and
expression, but you've got to beaware of what it is that you're
(21:36):
thinking about and choose tothink differently.
And so, really, that's with thetips for stress is, one,
understanding where it comesfrom to getting clear with what
you want, saying no to anythingelse.
And three, becoming aware ofwhen you are in that stress and
making a choice to thinkdifferent.
Does it ever stop?
No, but you shorten thatrefractory period so you spend
(21:58):
less time there and more timethinking about what you want.
But you can do what you gotvision and fall in love with
more of the vision of yourfuture and the memory or the of
the past, and it really doesmake a huge difference in your
stress level.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It's so true though I mean, I think a lot of people
will have trouble saying no topeople too, because they feel
like, oh, it'll make them lookbad, or they can't say no to
this person because they'refamily.
That's a big one.
I help a lot of business ownerskind of overcome that.
Or they can't do thisparticular task because what
would family members think and Ihonestly I'm not going to be a
hypocrite here I used to thinkthe same way I thought to myself
(22:36):
like.
Hey, I mean, I struggle with it,but I when I get that thought.
So now it's different.
When I get that thought andlike, oh, what would my family
think?
And I'm like, oh, they wouldthink this.
I'm like, do it.
And I just do it anyways,because if something I wanted to
do, I just go for it becauseultimately, I'm my own person, I
have my own family and I don'thave to worry about what
everyone else is thinking.
(22:56):
And then I even I did thislittle like study and I wrote
down kind of everyone that Ithought was in my corner,
everyone that I thought wouldsupport me, before I started my
next business journey, and Ithought about everyone that
would share my posts, everybodythat I thought was a true friend
, and I wrote it down in a list.
And then I wrote down everyonethat I thought didn't even care,
(23:17):
that didn't even knew I existed, and I put that kind of in
another list.
And so when I started my nextbusiness journey, this was
amazing to me and astonishing.
You would not believe how manypeople who I thought would share
my posts, who I thought wouldsupport me, who I thought would
be there, were ghost, didn'tshow up, didn't share a single
thing weren't rooting for me, infact, probably rooting against
(23:39):
me behind my back, and thepeople that I thought didn't pay
attention to me, didn't evenacknowledge me, didn't know I
was there.
Those were the people that wererooting for me, cheering me on
what I mean succeed, and justknowing that gave me this sense
of peace that was like listen.
(23:59):
Sometimes the people that arethe closest in your corners are
the ones that are rooting foryour failure, and I don't know.
I don't understand necessarilywhy they people are the way,
they are that way, but it mademe realize it doesn't matter
what they think.
It doesn't matter if they thinkI'm crazy or that it's never
gonna work out, or even ifthey're rooting for my failure,
because I know there's peopleout there that are.
(24:19):
I will continue to do what I dobecause I enjoy helping people
and that's what I want to do.
I enjoy helping business owners.
I enjoy seeing the theirfreedom of time come alive.
Where they have more time withtheir family, they have more
time with, with being able to doother tasks that they want.
They're not constantly grounddown and working their everyday
business.
So I love that you talk aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You know, and I love that we're talking about this,
because I think that that islike fear and faith both
requires to believe in theinvisible, and so often we go to
fear than faith, and Ipersonally believe it's because
we can, like I said, measurewhat we could potentially lose.
If I leave my corporate job, Iknow what the salary I'm leaving
(25:02):
behind and the pension I'mleaving behind.
I know that right, and thisfaith of what I truly want come
I don't know right.
So it's like this, this thing.
But two points about you knowyour story, because I know
you're not alone with that.
I thought people would supportme and not is.
The reason one why they're doingit is because when we go to
(25:24):
change, that forces other peopleto look at themselves
differently and we see stuff inpeople that we want and also the
the pain that is within, and soif one of our friends is seeing
us and we're taking steps tofollow our dreams, and they're
not, it honestly plays intotheir own self-worth and we live
(25:47):
in a world that is easier toplay victim than take
responsibility, so it's easierfor them to say that you're the
weird one versus them.
To address that the real reasonwhy they're feeling that way,
it's because they're notfollowing their own dream,
because anybody that isfollowing their dream and is
that black sheep, so to speak,are the ones that are supporting
you.
And the second piece of it isif I think this is really
(26:08):
important is that when you havea big goal that's beyond what
you know how and with, those arethe goals that we should be
setting, because they're theones that cause us to pull and
expand more of our internalgreatness out.
You know, I like to say there'sthree types of goals the ones
that we know we can do, butwe're not growing, we're moving
sideways.
The ones that we think we can do.
(26:28):
You know, if so, so so happens,then this will happen.
But a lot of times those aren'tour true wants, so we lose the
inspiration as things go along.
But the goals that we reallywant to set are those ones that
excite and scare us.
So I like to adopt the phraseof do the illogical.
So you get to this point whereyou've fallen in love with this
idea, you start to impress thatinto your mind.
(26:49):
Your subconscious goes andtells you that you can't do it.
You are aware of that, thoughyou say, hey, that's my old
belief, I'm writing a newnarrative.
But then you go to tellsomebody and they fricking say
the same thing that yoursubconscious mind is and you're
like, oh my god, how manybattles do I have to win?
But the problem is is that wethink that they'll want it for
us, but they don't.
It's not their dream, it'syours.
(27:11):
So they're just putting theirperspective on it and they want
to see you not Suffer.
So then they start to share andit feels like at the time it's
just like I just want someone tobelieve in me.
But that's where we have to gowithin and say you won't want
something that you can't achieve.
I'm gonna place that on yourheart.
You wouldn't have the idea, youwouldn't be able to visualize
(27:32):
that if it wasn't for youcreation.
It's already done.
Everything that's always likewill be here, as always.
It's already here.
It's just for us to where,raise our conscious awareness of
how to make that happen.
And so, when it's, the door isopen.
You got to walk through it.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
That's what I I was like to say.
Once that door opens for you,it's time for you to walk
through it, and sometimes Ithink people stand back and they
don't walk through the store.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Right.
But then they start to think,oh shit, at that door close and
I miss her after no.
Oh Like.
There's no such thing as a baddecision.
It's a decision and you eitherMove you towards what you want
or you learn something from it.
There's no such thing asfailure, unless you don't try.
Failing is quitting, notfalling down, you know.
(28:24):
But yet we've just beenconditioned that if it's not
easy, if it doesn't come in acertain way and a certain type
of thing and packaging a bow,that it's not for us, and so we
give up.
And this is where the power ofmind so important to recognize
these things.
That's the only perception, andtime is perception.
So you just have to realizethat it's not up to ask the how
(28:45):
and it's not up to ask the when,but it is up to us to hold that
vision and to take steps thatmove us towards that.
And when you do that withpersistent action, a lot of
transmutation states that that'swhen those thoughts become into
transfers, into ideas andthings.
So it really is justunderstanding.
(29:07):
Everything works in an orderlyway and Understanders looking
back in your life to say, yeah,when I want it, I got it and
when I associated a meaning withsomething that I didn't like.
I also got that because oursubconscious mind is like
Whether you plant a weed or youplant a flower, it grows.
So what are you planting?
(29:27):
When it comes to you andmaximizing your time, I love
that.
I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
It's so true, and you can find the answer within you.
When I first started mybusiness, I think the biggest
thing that I had troubles withwas time, and the reason why is
because I felt like I had to doit all.
I was wearing all thesedifferent hats and you even see
memes.
Oh, as a business owner, youknow you're wearing all these
different hats.
You don't have to.
You don't have to do that.
(29:55):
And I actually did a podcast awhile back and it was called
Embracing your Strengths and Italked about three years in I
figured out that I needed toembrace my strengths, focus on
my strengths and not focusing onmy weaknesses, and finding
where I wasn't good at andoutsourcing it Finding a system,
a structure in place oroutsourcing it.
And that's what I did.
And it was hard for me to dothat, because I'm the kind of
(30:16):
person that if I'm not good atsomething or I feel like I could
do better, I want to focus onthat, I want to put all my
energy towards it and get betterat that, but then I have to
look back and go.
Is that for me?
Because everyone out there isgood at something and there's
someone better at it than youare, and so I said, hey, I'm
going to put all my effort forthand all my time focus on my
(30:36):
strengths I'm going to lean onthat, make that a priority and
all my weaknesses I'm going tofind someone that knows how to
do those and I'm going to hirethem Put the systems, put the
structures in place, and thathelped me.
So I love that you talked aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
That's so good, and I think a lot of us as business
owners too, especially whenwe're in one man show for a
while, you're like, oh well, Ican't afford that, right, I
can't afford to hire a assistantright now.
I can't afford someone to do mysocial media, I can't afford to
whatever, whatever, whatever itis that you want to do, right.
And yet it is so important toyour point that when we start to
(31:11):
spread ourselves out too thinand we have all of these
different things, then we reallydo start to quote, quote, waste
some of this time and we'reless effective.
What also happens with ourvibration is it decreases
because we're just feeling likefrick, I'm doing all this stuff
and it's not getting me anywhere, like, when is this going to
happen?
And so you know it's funnybecause I had this exact
(31:33):
conversation last week withsomebody.
She said you know, I hate doingmy social media.
I want to get somebody up, Ijust don't have enough money.
But she's spending three hoursa day doing that, time where she
could be doing lead gen, timewhen she could be nurturing
relationships, time when shecould be sharing more of what it
is that she loves, whatattracts people to her, and
(31:55):
she'd easily have paid for thatassistant by now, right?
So I think it's reallyimportant that we break that
habit of I'm waiting till,because I tell you what it will
never happen.
If our thoughts become thingsand we are consistently waiting
for something, then all you'redoing is like creating more wait
(32:17):
time.
Nothing happens.
So you make a decision.
So make a decision to yourstory exactly.
I'm going to focus on mystrength and everything else I'm
going to delegate out.
I can always change that If wedon't, we're not like married to
that decision.
But make a different decision,try different actions.
But when we consistently go onwith the same thinking, same
(32:39):
thinking generates the samefeeling.
Same feelings generate the sameaction.
Same action, same results andthen we keep wishing and hoping
for the results to change, butwe don't realize that the cause
is the thought.
So we first got to address that, and I love how you say you
started to think about yourstrengths, because that is
exactly the way that a personneeds to do it.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
That's why you're there your strengths 100% and
it's so powerful and you drive areally good message and
hopefully our audience was ableto really gasp what you're
saying and actually understandit, because you brought so much
knowledge to the table.
I just I love everything thatyou said because it's so true.
So, for our audience listening,if they wanted to find more
(33:20):
information about you, how canthey go about doing that, stacey
?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Yeah, absolutely.
You can find me on Instagram atStacey Van Thun I have a
website at raiseyourresultca aswell as Facebook at Raise your
Results, and LinkedIn at StaceyVan Thun.
But it really is.
I mean, I guess I'm gratefulfor you, jacob, for inviting me
on to share this, because Ithink so often we start going
(33:46):
straight into the tacticalthings which you can all get you
can watch Jacob's thing anddifferent things but the reality
is, if you have a gap betweenwhat you know to save time and
to buy back more time and whatyou're doing, and there's a gap
there, then I would love to chatwith you because we can help
bridge that gap so that youstart to close and actually do
(34:08):
what it is that you know.
And in there is where the magiclies and I promise you you will
feel this freedom of time andjust be living in a higher
vibration that will bring moreof what it is that you want into
your life.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I love it.
Such a powerful message.
Well, make sure you're given ora follow.
Check out our website.
So much great content on there.
Get in touch, let's work witheach other and see how we can
help each other.
And, as always, you know whereto find me at JacobKMead on all
of the socials.
You can go to jacobkmeadcom and, if you're interested in
working with me directly, goahead and click on that link in
(34:45):
the upper right-hand corner andclick on Apply.
Fill out the form and let's sitdown and have a cup of coffee
and see how we can work together.
And, as always, until next time.
Thanks for listening to today'sepisode.
My name is JacobKMead and untilnext time.
Hey everybody, this is Jacob K Mead and this is the
Buy Time podcast, where wediscuss everything there is to
know about buying back your time.
Be sure to like and follow andshare with somebody who needs to
buy back their time.
Enjoy today's episode.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Buy Time podcast.
I'm your host, jacob K Mead,and today I'm super excited
(00:21):
because we actually have StaceyVan Thun here.
She's actually a performanceconsultant, coach and speaker.
She really specializes insteering individuals from
success to significance and soactually seeing that is amazing,
and she's done a really greatjob helping a lot of business
owners, even with wealthmanagement, enhancing wealth,
better time management andoptimized performance.
(00:42):
So, stacey, I'm super excitedthat you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hey, thank you.
I'm excited to be here andlooking forward to this
conversation.
I know it's going to be juicy.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Absolutely Well.
What better person to talkabout time management than a
coach like yourself?
So go ahead and talk to us alittle bit about your background
.
What made you get started inall of this?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, absolutely Well .
Thanks for everyone listeningtoday.
You are in fantastic hands.
Listening to Jacob around BuyTime.
Mine's been quite the journey,truthfully.
I came out of the societalpressures of making sure I get
those check marks and went touniversity, got my degree in
(01:25):
business and spent over 22 yearsin change management and people
leadership and I found myselfat this crossroads around 40,
really wondering is this as goodas it gets?
Is this what I truly want?
And at that time I had a personask me what my goals were in
life and I instantly went in totalking about my children and
(01:50):
how excited it would make me tosee them super successful.
And then I was saving for theiruniversity and the person
stopped me and said you know,that's a great dream for your
kids, but what about you?
And it was at that moment thatI was just like holy, I don't
know what you want.
(02:10):
And I just really had to stopand think.
You know, I start to look at mygoals and all the goals that I
had wanted as far as gettinginto an executive level suite
and in encouraging teams andfinding efficiencies and
businesses and developing peopleI was living.
So the next big goal I had, Iguess, was to retire.
(02:30):
And I was just like, wait asecond, like it's still like 25
plus years away, like thatdoesn't really excite me.
Why and I realized in thatmoment because I started to
explore the power of mindset isthe reason why that goal was
like not exciting is that thepurpose of a goal is to expand
(02:53):
and to grow.
And yet I knew how to retire.
I just had to continue working,doing what I was, and continue
saving, and I would get there.
And so it was at that time thatI really started to dig deep and
kind of go on my owntransformation journey, like,
like to call it, like uncovering, un-layering these masks that
I'd adopted over the first halfof well, more than the first
(03:14):
half of my life, like the first40 some years of my life, to
really get to a place where Icould answer what do I want for
me.
And it was really in there thatI'd always want to be a
consultant and help differentcompanies.
But I recognized that I hadthis underlying belief that it
(03:35):
was safer and best to continueworking with a company and
making sure that I got mypension and everything else.
But that wasn't the gifts thatI have and what.
So I just started, like I said,to study mindset on a huge
theological platform as well asa scientific background, and I
recognized well, holy shit, thereason that I'm not feeling
(03:57):
fulfilled in life is because Idon't have a goal that's bigger
than what I know how to do, andit's time I found one.
So that's what sent me here,and now I'm consulting, helping
people to figure out what theywant to create more in their
lives too.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I love that, you know .
I think in society we have thisthing that tells us hell, go
get a good job.
You know, save money in a 401k,retire.
It's like this pipeline ofeverything that you're supposed
to do.
And then the minute you say,well, I'm thinking about opening
up a business and you're making$120,000 a year, people look at
you and they go you're crazy,why would you do that?
(04:31):
You have a good paying job, youhave the benefits, and then
they start to give you all thereasons not to go do something.
And so it was.
It was similar to me when Iopened up my business for the
very first time.
It was people telling me well,you're leaving a really good
paying job, what if you don'tmake it?
And it's almost.
It's hard to overcome that atfirst because you have to tell
yourself it's not about the whatifs.
(04:52):
I see so many people get caughtup in that.
What if?
What if I fail?
What if I don't do it this?
What if I lose all this money?
What if I do this?
What if you don't?
You will be thinking about thatyour entire life, thinking what
if I succeeded versus not eventrying.
So I love that you talk aboutthat and it's hard to actually
make that first step.
And then I bet you can evenstill think about that.
(05:12):
First time you made that firststep.
What was that like for you?
You made that transition.
You went from that corporateworld to doing something on your
own.
Talk to me a little bit aboutthat.
How was that?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Well, it's very slow transition at first because
ultimately it was like it's overmy back of my shoulder.
I got thinking go rich and mymentor was Bob Proctor and I
trained with Bob and you know,in Napoleon Hill's book he says
like burn the ships.
And they're like burn the ships.
I'm like, I'm a single mom.
I've got, you know, a 10 and aseven year old they were at that
time and I was really startingthis journey.
They're not 15 and 12, but like, like, easier said than done,
(05:46):
right.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Oh 100%.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It's.
Here's the lessons I've learnedof around.
That is one.
You talk about the what ifs.
It's so easy for us tocalculate what we can lose
versus what we can gain, andit's not just the people that
are saying you know what are youdoing?
Like you like exactly what yousay.
You're earning over six figures.
Like you've got the dream joband everything but recognizing.
I think this is where my passioncomes now, to helping
(06:10):
individuals that have achieved alevel of success but still
don't find themselves fulfilled.
And what's a life when youdon't feel fulfilled, when you
know there's more within you,like I used to, I'm tapping my
chest right now.
You can't see if you're the one, but like it was.
Like this beast inside was likelet me out, let me out and I
would start to do other you knowthings to tame her, whether
(06:32):
that was gossiping about anotherperson going shopping, having
an additional glass of wine,like all of these external
things that people havenormalized.
While you're over four, youshould do that while you're
doing this.
Oh, you shouldn't.
No, you shouldn't.
Like.
It's not just the other peoplethat try to keep you safe, it's
your job of your subconsciousmind.
So your subconscious mind findsevidence of every reason and
(06:54):
thing that would make you scaredto take that leap.
But for me, what I started to dowas look back and say well, you
know what?
I did always have a dream, upuntil this point, of living like
a life that my parents hadprovided to me and a little bit
better.
And when I had that goal and Iset that goal, let's say when I
was 18, going to school, Ididn't know how, I just knew I
(07:17):
would.
And when it was for me, I wokeup and guess what I was living?
Life that my parents had givenme and a little bit better.
But it wasn't more, because Ihadn't dreamed about it being
more.
And I think that that's where itwas just like well, huh, if I
could do it before and I'venever let myself down in the
past why would this be anydifferent?
(07:38):
The only thing that's changedis that I haven't used my
imagination, I haven'tfantasized, I haven't allowed
myself to dream greater thanwhat I need to do and know how
to do.
And so I mean it is a practicethat you start to rewrite that
narrative, but then I had tostart to rewrite the narrative.
No, I'm so happy and gratefulnow that I'm consulting and
(08:01):
helping people shape their livesto achieve great things greater
than what they ever knew, andevery single day, putting that
in until one day, I was like,hey, what the hell am I still
doing out of corporate world?
I'm a freaking consultanthelping people around the world
and it was like bam right, so itreally is.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
But I mean the person I love that it's so true,
because when you're a consultant, when you're a coach, you start
to realize it's not about youanymore, it's about the person
that you're helping.
How can you take them to thenext level?
How can you help them in theareas of life that they need?
And it's not all about money,and that's something that I
coach a lot on is okay.
Time you look at time, everyonetalks about these assets.
(08:41):
Well, how many assets do youhave?
And banks use assets, and thebiggest asset that you can have
is your time.
It's the most valuable asset,because nobody, you can't get
that back.
You can't get time back.
So what are?
Do you have some tips, sometricks on some time management
things, especially forentrepreneurs and business
owners?
We need it.
(09:01):
What are some things that youfind work?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay, I want to explore the theology of like why
people misuse their time.
We have these things that arecalled paradigms that exist in
our subconscious mind andparadigms is a fancy word for
saying habits and theyunconsciously control how we
spend money, how ourrelationships go, what our
(09:29):
health is like and how weprioritize our time.
The reality is, 95% of what wedo is habitual.
So if your parents were alwayslate or just leaving just in
time, chances are you show uplike that, you know, and you
could be having these employees.
It's important to know, asleaders of businesses, that you
may have an employee that'sconsistently late and you pull
(09:52):
them in and you say, hey, like Istart at nine, I need you here
at five, nine, eight.
I smile, and the next daythey're there at five to nine
right, but over time goes backto nine.
Why?
Because it is not an alignmentwith that paradigm that is
controlling their lives, and soI think it's really important
(10:13):
when we're giving tips is torecognize why we do what we do,
why we think what we think andhow our results come to be, and
especially when we're talkingabout time, because that is
something that is conditioned inyour life to use it to waste it
, to whatever.
So one.
I think people have to stoptelling themselves that they're
(10:36):
procrastinators and that they'relazy, and that you know they
have a hard time doing stuff,because when you tell that to
your mind and yourself, you actin that way, which again causes
you to misalign with the timethat you have Right.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
So you are what you say you are.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You are what you say you are.
And again, like this is not new.
Everyone's like, yeah, probablylistening to this, like, oh, I
wonder if she can tell mesomething new.
But I'll tell you what you'vegot to.
Hear it and hear it and hear itagain till your actions change.
Your outside world is directreflection of how you feel
inside on that deep subconsciouslevel.
So you may know it.
But if you're still showing upin time and not in time, or if
(11:15):
you are still finding, I thinkthe newest addiction for
everybody is being busy.
It's almost like we put peopleon a pedestal if they're like so
busy.
But to me, being so busy means,in the misalignment of your
priorities, that you're sayingyes to things that don't matter.
Same with procrastination.
Like I would always even saythat to myself.
I no longer say that, so I'mafraid to whisper that.
(11:36):
But here's the thing is thatwhen I don't persist and follow
through in an action, now I nowdon't feel shame and guilt for
it.
I now look at what the thingwas that I was going to persist
through, because I can findevidence in my life that when
that thing that I'm doing issomething that I truly want.
Guess what?
(11:57):
I persist, guess what I'm ontime, guess what it gets done.
So I started to really startand I, you know both of us
should be helping peopleunderstand what is important to
you, and if it's not, a hell yes, then get it off your plate.
And when we start to just focusin on what we want and what's
(12:20):
in alignment with our values,all of a sudden that opens up
capacity in our time toprioritize.
You know, there's this thingcalled the vacuum law.
We can only fit so many thingsinto our vessel and if you
consistently want to keep addingbut never revisiting and
looking at what's in that vessel, you get crumped in.
(12:41):
So it's really about, as far astips One, making sure what
you're doing is alignment withwhat you truly want and values.
Two, looking at some of thosehabitual patterns that you do
and start understanding why youdo that and if it is something
that waste your time, startreprogramming your mind.
Reach out to me afterwards onhow to get more succinct with
(13:02):
that.
But also three is just sayingno To things that aren't gonna
move you in the direction ofthat, what you truly designed,
which is that goal?
So I think it also comesthrough being a goal and knowing
what you want and what'simportant to your family.
If that's it too, I mean youand our both business owners,
(13:23):
both like have otherOpportunities going on, plus our
kids, plus their sports, plusour own health, plus, plus, plus
, plus.
There's this meme of Krilla deVilla.
I don't know if you're seeingit, but she's like freaking
crazy.
Her hair goes crazy.
It's just like trying to keepup with all these things and
it's like portrays this picturethat you have to be mad, and If
(13:43):
you believe that, then you willbe that.
That's where we have to stopnormalizing busy and say you
chose that.
So if you're finding yourselfrolled out, then you can choose
differently.
What is it that you want toprioritize today?
And stick to it.
Keep the promises you make toyourself.
There's a lot of tips.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I'm sorry, that is so good.
That is that I mean, that issome good stuff right there.
Because it's so true, you getso overwhelmed and I coach a lot
on this, especially with otherbusiness owners.
It's like they come to me thereI just don't have time to do
that this week, right now, timeto do that today.
And I go well, why don't youhave time?
And then they give me a list ofall the things are doing.
I go well, how can youprioritize this?
How can you hand this off?
(14:22):
Well, no one else does itbetter than me.
I go if they do it 80% betterthan you, it's still better to
hand it off because you canutilize your time somewhere else
.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's a self-worth thing to me too, like we cover
behind this and we say, oh,nobody can do it is better than
me.
But the truth of the matter is,yes, they can if they, if
you're truly a leader whodevelops people and you can't
expect them to be a hundredpercent at first.
But those little things, a lot,gives people a sense of like,
like, like a dopamine hit.
(14:51):
It's a dope.
Yeah right because they're likeoh my gosh, I got that check
mark off my list, but thosethings aren't things that are
moving you in the direction ofwhat it is that you truly want.
You know, and I think this goesback to when we're at school.
Well, we were told like getyour strengths, get your
weaknesses, build yourweaknesses up so that you're a
balanced person.
That's such bullshit.
(15:12):
Know your strengths, know yourweaknesses, manage your
weaknesses and build yourstrengths.
They're your strengths becauseyou're good at them.
They're the strengths becauseyou like them.
So, if you're a business owner,focus on what you do well and
then look at those things thatmaybe take you extra time
because you're not good at themand or you don't have the desire
to do them and delegate that.
But if it's these like Thingswhere you're actually supposed
(15:35):
to build your team out, likeagain, how, what is it that they
like to do?
What is it that they want?
And if it's something that theywant and they're good at it,
it's time to let them fly sothat you can do more of what
you're good at.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I love it when I see my employees just succeed and go
above and beyond and it'sAmazing the first time that you
let them do something on theirown the accomplishment that they
have from doing that, oh man,it's such, it's such a good,
good feeling, it's it's I can'teven explain, it's just
overwhelming.
So that's, that's awesome.
So as a business owner and weall we all get get here is
(16:11):
Stress.
Stress is like the number onething.
Yeah, you can keep you up atnight.
You're laying there constantlythinking about all the different
tasks you can do.
Now, me myself, I do thatdifferently.
I think of all the differenttasks I can do and then I think
of everything that can, that, aperson that can either do those
Tasks, or some sort of systemand I can put in place to
actually make those tasks easier.
So I have that different kindof mindset.
(16:32):
But when we talk about stress,I know it eats up a lot of
people's time.
So what are some liketechniques and practices that
you'd rest recommend forreducing stress and kind of
regaining that?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I Love this question.
Okay, let's analyze wherestress comes from for a second,
because I think it's importantthat when you know where it
comes from, Then you can help toaddress it sometimes it comes
from my two kids.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I'm not going to lie about that now.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Right, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
But but how is it formed?
Right, because I think this isthe other thing is that one
thing that everybody has is thesame amount of time.
We all have the same amount oftime in a day and times a man
might construct, right, we knowthat.
Even so, it's kind of thisillusion of time.
But when it comes to stress, ifyou back that up, if, if I, I
(17:19):
believe, and so I am curiouswith your audience after to
share their thoughts around this, but if we believe, whether
it's theology of thought orscience of thought, they all say
the same thing, right,everything that ever is and ever
will be is already here in oneform or another.
Nothing is created or destroyed.
There's a power flowing in andthrough us.
Everything just is.
(17:39):
We assign the meaning to itbased off of our past
experiences and this internalconditioning that we have from
growing up.
So when you look at energy justas is, we can assign a negative
or a positive polarity to it,and if you start to go down the
path of a negative polarity toit, you have the, the baseline,
(18:00):
might my mentor Bob would alwayssay the.
The only problem like peoplewill have is ignorance of not
knowing.
And if you look at ignorance andyou kind of go through that and
you don't know something, youstart to worry, you start to
doubt it.
That worry and doubt starts todrive you to fear.
And that fear is like thingsthat are Impressed they're
(18:21):
suppressed inwards, right.
It makes Almost like anxietythat leads to stress, that leads
to honesty, a body breakingdown at discharge, ease of
disintegration.
So when you think of stressfrom that point and you go I say
, oh my god, this stress iscoming from me being worry or
doubtful or fearing something.
(18:41):
What is that and how is thishelping me?
And I'm not saying this is easy, but this is the awareness part
, because on the opposite side,if you were to put the positive
polarity to it, that theopposite of ignorance is what
Knowledge, knowledge fromunderstanding which builds, what
faith that builds, what thatcontinues like, you go through a
thing of well-being, well-being, feeling that are expressed,
(19:05):
they go to a body at ease tocreation.
So I really like to Leverageswhen I'm starting to feel stress
is like what thoughts am Iengaging in that is making me
feel this way?
And I know that it stems fromfear, doubt, worry and ignorance
.
So what is it?
And I more worried about thepast and that showing up in my
(19:26):
future, then falling in lovemore with the future and the
ideas of what it is that I wantto create.
And when I do that, if webelieve thoughts become things,
all it's going to happen is mytomorrow is going to look
exactly like yesterday.
Maybe I should be fearful ofthat, but it takes awareness,
and so tips on.
Stress is again what is it thatyou want and say no to
(19:48):
everything else?
For me, a big stress, too, wasyou know what would other people
think?
Because I was fearful of that.
And being a people pleaser andkeeping up with the Joneses
Versus being aligned with whatit is.
It's truly important to me, andyet you get to all these people
there and say, once I turn 30,I didn't give a shit.
What other people think?
Really, I Really.
Then why are you still doingthings that you think your
(20:10):
parents want you to do, orthat's easier for you to do than
you think?
And just being real and lovableand I've been there and this is
why I can just say this is whathas helped me the most in
overcoming it and recognizingthat when we're stressed, we're
hitting our body with cortisoland we're causing ourselves to
get sick, and so then thatevidence shows up in our lives
(20:32):
and we have to say whoa, whoa, Igot to stop this, I got to
start to find addiction, andthat hit a rush of energy from
the things that I want, not thatI fear.
I heard this great analogy theother day say you can't fear
something that you haven't done.
So, for example, if I say I'mfearful of heights and I was in
Phoenix last week and doing somehiking, and if I got to this,
(20:53):
oh my gosh, I can't go on thathike, it's going to be too many
heights, I can't see it right.
But before you know what, I'mtalking with my kids and I look
down and all these shit, I'm atthe edge.
Also, I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of falling when I
get pushed over and I start tofall.
Now I'm not afraid of falling,I'm fearful of landing.
So these types of fears that webreak up, that aren't even true
(21:16):
yet in our minds, is what'scalling us being stressed, and
that's what we can, by the powerof thought, move ourselves into
these states of anxiety.
Well, leverage that and becomeaware, and in that same breath,
you can also bring yourself tothese places of at ease and
expression, but you've got to beaware of what it is that you're
(21:36):
thinking about and choose tothink differently.
And so, really, that's with thetips for stress is, one,
understanding where it comesfrom to getting clear with what
you want, saying no to anythingelse.
And three, becoming aware ofwhen you are in that stress and
making a choice to thinkdifferent.
Does it ever stop?
No, but you shorten thatrefractory period so you spend
(21:58):
less time there and more timethinking about what you want.
But you can do what you gotvision and fall in love with
more of the vision of yourfuture and the memory or the of
the past, and it really doesmake a huge difference in your
stress level.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It's so true though I mean, I think a lot of people
will have trouble saying no topeople too, because they feel
like, oh, it'll make them lookbad, or they can't say no to
this person because they'refamily.
That's a big one.
I help a lot of business ownerskind of overcome that.
Or they can't do thisparticular task because what
would family members think and Ihonestly I'm not going to be a
hypocrite here I used to thinkthe same way I thought to myself
(22:36):
like.
Hey, I mean, I struggle with it,but I when I get that thought.
So now it's different.
When I get that thought andlike, oh, what would my family
think?
And I'm like, oh, they wouldthink this.
I'm like, do it.
And I just do it anyways,because if something I wanted to
do, I just go for it becauseultimately, I'm my own person, I
have my own family and I don'thave to worry about what
everyone else is thinking.
(22:56):
And then I even I did thislittle like study and I wrote
down kind of everyone that Ithought was in my corner,
everyone that I thought wouldsupport me, before I started my
next business journey, and Ithought about everyone that
would share my posts, everybodythat I thought was a true friend
, and I wrote it down in a list.
And then I wrote down everyonethat I thought didn't even care,
(23:17):
that didn't even knew I existed, and I put that kind of in
another list.
And so when I started my nextbusiness journey, this was
amazing to me and astonishing.
You would not believe how manypeople who I thought would share
my posts, who I thought wouldsupport me, who I thought would
be there, were ghost, didn'tshow up, didn't share a single
thing weren't rooting for me, infact, probably rooting against
(23:39):
me behind my back, and thepeople that I thought didn't pay
attention to me, didn't evenacknowledge me, didn't know I
was there.
Those were the people that wererooting for me, cheering me on
what I mean succeed, and justknowing that gave me this sense
of peace that was like listen.
(23:59):
Sometimes the people that arethe closest in your corners are
the ones that are rooting foryour failure, and I don't know.
I don't understand necessarilywhy they people are the way,
they are that way, but it mademe realize it doesn't matter
what they think.
It doesn't matter if they thinkI'm crazy or that it's never
gonna work out, or even ifthey're rooting for my failure,
because I know there's peopleout there that are.
(24:19):
I will continue to do what I dobecause I enjoy helping people
and that's what I want to do.
I enjoy helping business owners.
I enjoy seeing the theirfreedom of time come alive.
Where they have more time withtheir family, they have more
time with, with being able to doother tasks that they want.
They're not constantly grounddown and working their everyday
business.
So I love that you talk aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You know, and I love that we're talking about this,
because I think that that islike fear and faith both
requires to believe in theinvisible, and so often we go to
fear than faith, and Ipersonally believe it's because
we can, like I said, measurewhat we could potentially lose.
If I leave my corporate job, Iknow what the salary I'm leaving
(25:02):
behind and the pension I'mleaving behind.
I know that right, and thisfaith of what I truly want come
I don't know right.
So it's like this, this thing.
But two points about you knowyour story, because I know
you're not alone with that.
I thought people would supportme and not is.
The reason one why they're doingit is because when we go to
(25:24):
change, that forces other peopleto look at themselves
differently and we see stuff inpeople that we want and also the
the pain that is within, and soif one of our friends is seeing
us and we're taking steps tofollow our dreams, and they're
not, it honestly plays intotheir own self-worth and we live
(25:47):
in a world that is easier toplay victim than take
responsibility, so it's easierfor them to say that you're the
weird one versus them.
To address that the real reasonwhy they're feeling that way,
it's because they're notfollowing their own dream,
because anybody that isfollowing their dream and is
that black sheep, so to speak,are the ones that are supporting
you.
And the second piece of it isif I think this is really
(26:08):
important is that when you havea big goal that's beyond what
you know how and with, those arethe goals that we should be
setting, because they're theones that cause us to pull and
expand more of our internalgreatness out.
You know, I like to say there'sthree types of goals the ones
that we know we can do, butwe're not growing, we're moving
sideways.
The ones that we think we can do.
(26:28):
You know, if so, so so happens,then this will happen.
But a lot of times those aren'tour true wants, so we lose the
inspiration as things go along.
But the goals that we reallywant to set are those ones that
excite and scare us.
So I like to adopt the phraseof do the illogical.
So you get to this point whereyou've fallen in love with this
idea, you start to impress thatinto your mind.
(26:49):
Your subconscious goes andtells you that you can't do it.
You are aware of that, thoughyou say, hey, that's my old
belief, I'm writing a newnarrative.
But then you go to tellsomebody and they fricking say
the same thing that yoursubconscious mind is and you're
like, oh my god, how manybattles do I have to win?
But the problem is is that wethink that they'll want it for
us, but they don't.
It's not their dream, it'syours.
(27:11):
So they're just putting theirperspective on it and they want
to see you not Suffer.
So then they start to share andit feels like at the time it's
just like I just want someone tobelieve in me.
But that's where we have to gowithin and say you won't want
something that you can't achieve.
I'm gonna place that on yourheart.
You wouldn't have the idea, youwouldn't be able to visualize
(27:32):
that if it wasn't for youcreation.
It's already done.
Everything that's always likewill be here, as always.
It's already here.
It's just for us to where,raise our conscious awareness of
how to make that happen.
And so, when it's, the door isopen.
You got to walk through it.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
That's what I I was like to say.
Once that door opens for you,it's time for you to walk
through it, and sometimes Ithink people stand back and they
don't walk through the store.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Right.
But then they start to think,oh shit, at that door close and
I miss her after no.
Oh Like.
There's no such thing as a baddecision.
It's a decision and you eitherMove you towards what you want
or you learn something from it.
There's no such thing asfailure, unless you don't try.
Failing is quitting, notfalling down, you know.
(28:24):
But yet we've just beenconditioned that if it's not
easy, if it doesn't come in acertain way and a certain type
of thing and packaging a bow,that it's not for us, and so we
give up.
And this is where the power ofmind so important to recognize
these things.
That's the only perception, andtime is perception.
So you just have to realizethat it's not up to ask the how
(28:45):
and it's not up to ask the when,but it is up to us to hold that
vision and to take steps thatmove us towards that.
And when you do that withpersistent action, a lot of
transmutation states that that'swhen those thoughts become into
transfers, into ideas andthings.
So it really is justunderstanding.
(29:07):
Everything works in an orderlyway and Understanders looking
back in your life to say, yeah,when I want it, I got it and
when I associated a meaning withsomething that I didn't like.
I also got that because oursubconscious mind is like
Whether you plant a weed or youplant a flower, it grows.
So what are you planting?
(29:27):
When it comes to you andmaximizing your time, I love
that.
I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
It's so true, and you can find the answer within you.
When I first started mybusiness, I think the biggest
thing that I had troubles withwas time, and the reason why is
because I felt like I had to doit all.
I was wearing all thesedifferent hats and you even see
memes.
Oh, as a business owner, youknow you're wearing all these
different hats.
You don't have to.
You don't have to do that.
(29:55):
And I actually did a podcast awhile back and it was called
Embracing your Strengths and Italked about three years in I
figured out that I needed toembrace my strengths, focus on
my strengths and not focusing onmy weaknesses, and finding
where I wasn't good at andoutsourcing it Finding a system,
a structure in place oroutsourcing it.
And that's what I did.
And it was hard for me to dothat, because I'm the kind of
(30:16):
person that if I'm not good atsomething or I feel like I could
do better, I want to focus onthat, I want to put all my
energy towards it and get betterat that, but then I have to
look back and go.
Is that for me?
Because everyone out there isgood at something and there's
someone better at it than youare, and so I said, hey, I'm
going to put all my effort forthand all my time focus on my
(30:36):
strengths I'm going to lean onthat, make that a priority and
all my weaknesses I'm going tofind someone that knows how to
do those and I'm going to hirethem Put the systems, put the
structures in place, and thathelped me.
So I love that you talked aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
That's so good, and I think a lot of us as business
owners too, especially whenwe're in one man show for a
while, you're like, oh well, Ican't afford that, right, I
can't afford to hire a assistantright now.
I can't afford someone to do mysocial media, I can't afford to
whatever, whatever, whatever itis that you want to do, right.
And yet it is so important toyour point that when we start to
(31:11):
spread ourselves out too thinand we have all of these
different things, then we reallydo start to quote, quote, waste
some of this time and we'reless effective.
What also happens with ourvibration is it decreases
because we're just feeling likefrick, I'm doing all this stuff
and it's not getting me anywhere, like, when is this going to
happen?
And so you know it's funnybecause I had this exact
(31:33):
conversation last week withsomebody.
She said you know, I hate doingmy social media.
I want to get somebody up, Ijust don't have enough money.
But she's spending three hoursa day doing that, time where she
could be doing lead gen, timewhen she could be nurturing
relationships, time when shecould be sharing more of what it
is that she loves, whatattracts people to her, and
(31:55):
she'd easily have paid for thatassistant by now, right?
So I think it's reallyimportant that we break that
habit of I'm waiting till,because I tell you what it will
never happen.
If our thoughts become thingsand we are consistently waiting
for something, then all you'redoing is like creating more wait
(32:17):
time.
Nothing happens.
So you make a decision.
So make a decision to yourstory exactly.
I'm going to focus on mystrength and everything else I'm
going to delegate out.
I can always change that If wedon't, we're not like married to
that decision.
But make a different decision,try different actions.
But when we consistently go onwith the same thinking, same
(32:39):
thinking generates the samefeeling.
Same feelings generate the sameaction.
Same action, same results andthen we keep wishing and hoping
for the results to change, butwe don't realize that the cause
is the thought.
So we first got to address that, and I love how you say you
started to think about yourstrengths, because that is
exactly the way that a personneeds to do it.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
That's why you're there your strengths 100% and
it's so powerful and you drive areally good message and
hopefully our audience was ableto really gasp what you're
saying and actually understandit, because you brought so much
knowledge to the table.
I just I love everything thatyou said because it's so true.
So, for our audience listening,if they wanted to find more
(33:20):
information about you, how canthey go about doing that, stacey
?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Yeah, absolutely.
You can find me on Instagram atStacey Van Thun I have a
website at raiseyourresultca aswell as Facebook at Raise your
Results, and LinkedIn at StaceyVan Thun.
But it really is.
I mean, I guess I'm gratefulfor you, jacob, for inviting me
on to share this, because Ithink so often we start going
(33:46):
straight into the tacticalthings which you can all get you
can watch Jacob's thing anddifferent things but the reality
is, if you have a gap betweenwhat you know to save time and
to buy back more time and whatyou're doing, and there's a gap
there, then I would love to chatwith you because we can help
bridge that gap so that youstart to close and actually do
(34:08):
what it is that you know.
And in there is where the magiclies and I promise you you will
feel this freedom of time andjust be living in a higher
vibration that will bring moreof what it is that you want into
your life.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I love it.
Such a powerful message.
Well, make sure you're given ora follow.
Check out our website.
So much great content on there.
Get in touch, let's work witheach other and see how we can
help each other.
And, as always, you know whereto find me at JacobKMead on all
of the socials.
You can go to jacobkmeadcom and, if you're interested in
working with me directly, goahead and click on that link in
(34:45):
the upper right-hand corner andclick on Apply.
Fill out the form and let's sitdown and have a cup of coffee
and see how we can work together.
And, as always, until next time.
Thanks for listening to today'sepisode.
My name is JacobKMead and untilnext time.
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