59. Sorry For Existing? Why Moms Apologize For Taking Up Space

Send us a text

In today’s episode, we’re tackling something so many moms (myself included) do without even realizing it: apologizing for existing. Whether you’ve caught yourself whispering sorry while calming your screaming toddler, taking too long in line, or just daring to exist loudly in a world that tells moms to stay small — this one’s for you.

I’ll share a powerful story about a mama I met in a mall bathroom, the gentle lesson she didn’t even know she taught me, and the ways we can all stop shrinking ourselves just to make others comfortable.

We’re here to take up space — unapologetically.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✨ Why moms feel conditioned to apologize for taking up space
✨ How to pause before saying “sorry” and ask: am I really doing something wrong?
✨ Small mindset shifts to replace apologies with gratitude and confidence
✨ How to model unapologetic presence for your kids
✨ Why we need to support and uplift each other in small, everyday ways

Plus — I’ll tell you about the simple stroller hack I shared with a stranger that made her day (and can make yours too).

📩 Share the Love:

If this episode made you feel seen, send it to a mom friend who needs this gentle reminder too. Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help us reach even more mamas who need to hear they belong.

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

Let’s Connect:

• Connect with us via email at [e-mail]
• Follow us on Instagram: @caffeinatedchaospodcast or @aguonstudios
• Join our email list: Click Here to Become a VIP
• Sip and Share: Click here to submit

APPLY HERE to be a podcast guest
Want to sponsor or run an ad on our podcast? Email us for options.

The views and opinions expressed by guests on Caffeinated Chaos are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or positions of Whitney Aguon or Aguon Studios LLC. The content shared by guests is for informational and entertainment purposes only. We encourage listeners to do their own research and form their own...

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos,where business deals happen
between diaper changes andfriendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney GaN, your host, andI'm here to talk all things
business parenthood, and ofcourse keeping up with the BFFs,
whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fuel chaos.
We've got you covered.
Get ready for real talk, laughsand a whole lot of heart as we

(00:24):
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Ated, of course.
Why do we say, sorry?
When we're simply standingstill, when we're changing a
diaper, trying to calm ascreaming taller, or pushing

(00:44):
through a double strollerthrough target.
I mean, why do we feel like wehave to shrink ourselves to make
others more comfortable?
Today we're talking aboutsomething so many of us moms do
without even thinking.
We are apologizing for taking upspace physically, emotionally,
mentally, and guess what?
Mamas it is time to stop.

(01:05):
Today's episode is for the momswho find themselves whispering.
Sorry.
For just being, for crying inpublic, taking up too much room
in the checkout line, or daringto exist loudly in a world that
tells moms to stay small.
So picture this.
I'm in the mall bathroom with mytoddler.
We're all good.
She's potty training.

(01:25):
We are zooing a stall.
We don't need.
The changing table anymore forher.
A mom is changing her newborn.
She's juggling a diaper bag.
She's got multiple shopping bagsand a stroller while the baby
fusses.
Clearly, she is doing her best,and yet she keeps telling me
that she's sorry, that she's inthe way, that she's almost done,

(01:46):
that she promises when I don'teven need the changing table.
So here's the thing.
She wasn't in the way.
She's in the bathroom doingexactly what the bathroom is
for, taking care of her baby andexisting.
I'm in the bathroom taking careof my toddler.
We are all good.
There was nothing wrong.
And yet she apologized over andover like she needed permission

(02:10):
to be there and.
I realized I did it too.
I apologize when no one's evenrushing me and I feel like I'm
going too slow.
We've been conditioned tobelieve that moms should be
convenient, invisible, quiet,even while literally raising the
next generation.

(02:31):
Okay, so let's get realunlearning.
This is not going to beovernight.
We get that, but here are somefew things that I've been
working on since meeting thismom in the bathroom that I'm
gonna share with you.
Okay.
Pause before the, sorry.
Ask yourself, am I actuallydoing something wrong or am I
just apologizing for existing?

(02:52):
I've done this a lot and it issimply just for existing two
replace, I'm sorry.
With thank you.
Instead of sorry for taking solong try.
Thanks for waiting.
The smallest switch, rewires howwe see ourselves.
And how others see us.
Three.
Let your presence beunapologetic.

(03:12):
You belong in the room, thatline, that park, that workplace,
that dream.
You belong there, mama.
You do not have to be apologeticfor it.
Four, talk about it with yourkids model, what it looks like
to be kind, but confident.
Let them hear you say, I'mallowed to be here five.

(03:32):
Catch your friends doing it andremind them that they're allowed
to take up space too.
If you see another mama, two, itdoesn't necessarily have to be a
friend, but if you see anothermama, two support on each other,
sometimes we don't even noticethat we're doing it until
someone gives us a gentlereminder, Hey, no need to
apologize.
You're not doing anything wrong.

(03:52):
See, when I left that bathroom.
I saw how she was trying tobalance three shopping bags on
her shoulder while pushing astroller, and she had the cutest
little baby.
So what did I do?
I went to my stroller.
And I was like trying to get, wehave giant Caribbean clips on
our strollers and that's what weuse to hold our shopping bags.

(04:14):
And I am struggling to get thisCarine off of our cart.
My husband's asking me if I needhelp and I I get it off, and I
was like, I'll be right back.
And I went back into thebathroom and she was already
making her way out.
Like again, she had three bigbags and.
I was just like, mama, here Igot you.
And I clipped it to her cart.

(04:35):
And I go, here, put your bags onhere.
Just make sure to balance it outwith the baby's weight and don't
leave the baby by herself withthe bags clipped.
And she looked like she wasready to hug a complete
stranger.
And I was like, I got you.
You're good.
Have a great day.
And then she walked off and shesaw me in the food court and she

(04:57):
was just like, thank you somuch.
We need to support each otherand we need to be there for each
other.
Even though I didn't know whoshe was and she didn't know who
I was, but it's our reminder tohold space for each other, but
also that we personally areallowed to take up space that
we're allowed to fully exist.

(05:19):
We're not being too much, we'renot being too loud.
We're not being too emotional.
We're not being too visible.
We are raising humans, and thattakes a village sometimes.
It took me until my second childto figure out that Carine trick,
but I hope that it makes life alot easier for her and hopefully
she'll pass it on to the nextmama she sees, because we need

(05:41):
to one look out for each other,but we also need to stop
apologizing for ourselves.
So the next time you catchyourself whispering, sorry for
just being there, I want you totake a deep breath.
I want you to pause and say toyourself that I am not a burden.
I am a mother and I belong here.
Alright, thanks for tuning intothis episode.

(06:01):
If this episode made you feelseen, send it to a mom friend
who needs this gentle remindertoo.
Be sure to leave us a reviewbecause it lets us get out to
more people and I want you toremember, you don't need to
shrink to fit in.
The world needs the fullness ofwho we are, who you are.
Until next time, keep yourcoffee strong, your boundaries

(06:22):
stronger, and your apologizereserved for actual mistakes,
not for your existence.
Go get a mama's.
That's a wrap on another episodeof Caffeinated Chaos.
I hope you're leaving with alittle more clarity, a lot more
inspiration, and maybe even anextra shot of motivation.

(06:43):
If you love today's episode,don't forget to follow us.
Leave a review and share it witha friend who could use just a
little chaos and caffeine intheir life.
Until next time, keep embracingthe mess.
Chase your dreams and make magichappen.
One caffeinated, chaotic momentat a time.
I will see you all soon.
Bye now.