Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage
64 Nicolas Cage movies go head to head to ultimately answer the question, "What is the best Nic Cage movie of all time?" Face/Off vs Jiu Jitsu, Gone in 60 Seconds vs Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Raising Arizona vs Trapped in Paradise, Pig vs Left Behind, Willy’s Wonderland vs Snake Eyes. Two Cages enter, one Cage leaves. This is Cage Match.
Episodes
Move over, A Time to Kill, because here comes 1989's Italian invasion of Ethiopia war drama: Time to Kill. In matching all other summaries of this movie, I also will tell you little. Grab your nearest BuzzBallz® and get ready for an unreliable narrator: us. This is Cage Match
Grab your nearest coxswain and come learn how to stroke with special guest, Hayden! We're obviously talking about the greasiest butt movie Cage has ever done: The Boy in Blue. Cage plays Ned Hanlon but how does he do in this 1989 Canadian hero biopic? Eh....but at least he is incredibly ripped this time. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
Grab your high-waisted pants and suspenders and come find out what's in the bugle case because we're reviewing Francis Ford Coppola's 1984 The Cotton Club. Our boy plays a slightly unhinged gangster in Coppola's ode to tap, black performers, and crime dramas. Call your gun-moll and pull up a cuck chair, this is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
Rusty James. Put your horns on because Fang, Fang, Fang and Scratchers dive deep into the moody, 1983 Francis Ford Coppola film, Rumble Fish. In an undeniably nepo role, Cage isn't given much to work with but still shines some true character. Grab some chocolate milk and get ready for our next business idea. This is Cage Match...Rusty James.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
Happy almost Flag Day, y'all but especially to you, Judge Reinhold. We're kicking off season 3 of Cage Match with a highschool sex romp barely featuring our boy, Nic. So join us while we bag on Sony Marvel movies and talk Dogma and occasionally praise Mr. Hand. This is Cage Match!
Intro music by: Bill Panks
And so we have arrived at the grand conclusion of Cage Match: The Podcast: The Game. Our four Cage's face off against some tricky foes, stupid puzzles, an alarming amount of times of Producer Peter saying "grievous damage". Darryl Edge and Alec Manley Wilson join us as we enter (hopefully) the Emerald City. Will the boys get to the bottom of the mystery? Will they make it home? All this and more...this is Cage Match.
Come eat the rat with us...and discover if calling someone a kook will get us cancelled in Australia. We got a chance to see Nic Cage and director Lorcan Finnegan's newest mind-bending film, The Surfer. Join us as we try to unravel what is real and fake. Things we know: don't drink the poop water and of course don't live here, don't surf here. This is bonus Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
Four Nic Cage's are pulled deep into the unseemly belly of the NCU. Cameron Poe, Peter Loew (Darryl Edge), Robin Feld and H.I. McDunnough (Alec Manley Wilson) find themselves in a place both familiar and horrifying. Sweet tap dancing Bobby Peru, you're in for a treat. It's bizarro table top RPG time with Producer Peter as the GM. This is Cage Match...the podcast...the game. Part I
Game System: Havoc Brigade by Grant Howitt
This episode sponsored by women-owned Buzzballs. Pop on your bandaner and good lord, someone, please give that little girl some more bread and jam. Welcome to bonus Cage Match where we discuss the highs and lows of Nic Cage's newest movie, Gunslingers. Why does Stephen Dorff's hat look like that? Who made custom cross, gradient tinted glasses in the old west, why is Stallone's daughter so bad? This is bonus Cage Match.
Producer Peter finally had to watch movies at 1x speed this week for the Cage Match Finale. Pig vs Raising Arizona. Sarnoski vs Coens. Nick vs Sean. We rented a local theater and watched a double header with a full house of guests. As it turns out, movies are fun in a theater. We are not done but this is a perfect time to thank everyone for listening and supporting us over the years. This was Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
It's the Final Fore...skin. And may we never say that phrase again. Nick and Sean thin the movies to our final two leading up to our big finale in theater double header. Con Air vs Raising Arizona, Pig vs Vampire's Kiss. We talk about favorite cults, an excellent foolproof get rich quick scheme, and if vampire's show up on digital cameras..but can we keep it cordial? Listen and find out. This is Cage Match!
Intro music by: Bill Pank...
Welcome to the almost interesting bonus episode about Joel Schumacher's last film, Trespass. We've got Cage in a suit, we've got dark-haired and moustached Ben Mendelsohn, we've got Nicole Kidman for some reason...Join us in the Bonebooth and learn all about nail guns and lewd sounding movie titles. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
Come get juiced up with the gang as we conclude the Master Eight section of our bracket. David Lynch (RIP) craziness vs absolutely bat-shit "vampire" antics make for a really fun end to the section. Don your snakeskin jacket and pop in your cheap teeth...this is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
The last remaining one seed from the bracket goes up against a dark horse (for us at least) three seed in a challenging matchup for the quarter final of the Serious section. Everyone's favorite unwashed chef, Robin vs ex-con and lovable drunk, Joe! Come find out whatever the hell we end up talking about around these two great films. We are getting dangerously close to the Final Foreskin. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Pank...
Well those ol' Cage Match boys are back up to their antics. Do we even get around to talking about 1987's Coen classic Raising Arizona and Cher masterpiece Moonstruck? Who knows... But we definitely talk about Goosebumps, Ghostriders, Splash, and dog balls of course. The Master Eight continues in fine fashion. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
We've made it. It's time to Master Eight with ya' Cage Match crew. Join as we learn how repetitive we are over the past three years. Our final eight movies kick off with Con Air and Red Rock West. Two ripped-ass Cage's being badasses. Who wins? Dave Chappelle's fake corpse or Dennis Hopper's turkey sandwich? Now entering / leaving Cage Match.
Well the time has come to review some of the more mid Cage movies. We pulled the ticket for 2015's Pay the Ghost. Does this movie outshine it's poor reputation? Get ready for some exposition dumps. This is bonus Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
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Let’s unlock the chain of kills here, if we can…Join Sean and a Real Good Nick to learn all about the real bad lady and El Spider. Come hang out in the es-chool zone and figure out the correct rice cooker to buy. This is bonus Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
You can chat with us on Twitter or Instagram or support us on Patreon
Lauren Freman and Christopher Fields engage in the fun (?) this week in discussing 1988's Vampire's Kiss and 2018's Mandy. Join us while we get a little drunk and a little horny to learn the pleasures of Cheddar Goblin and Eggo sippin' cream. If you're a horse and you're listening: fuck you. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
You can chat with us on Twitter or Instagram or support us on Patreon
Prepare yourselves for some deep love of depressing movies. This week we have guests Carlos and Hornback to talk 1995's Leaving Las Vegas and 2013's Joe. We get into Sting's crappy music, Mike Figgis sax and discrete bong usage. Find out our first beers and which of us would fuck a Merle. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
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