September 30, 2025 • 42 mins
In this empowering episode of Call Me CEO, I’m joined by expert stylist and personal brand coach Ellie Steinbrink to talk about something that touches every woman in business — how we show up. Ellie shares her powerful journey of leaving corporate life to pursue her passion for fashion, and how that decision has allowed her to help countless women align their inner confidence with their outer style.
We dive into the truth behind visibility — not just in social media or branding — but in how you physically show up for your day, your clients, and your own growth. Ellie breaks down the mindset shifts that happen when you dress with intention, and how personal style isn’t about trends, it’s about transformation.
Whether you're leading a team, working from home, or building your empire during nap time, this episode is your permission slip to ditch the sweats, own your presence, and use your wardrobe as a powerful tool for confidence and visibility.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why what you wear impacts how you feel and show up
- How to build a personal style that aligns with your brand
- The connection between confidence and visibility in business
- Small wardrobe shifts that make a big mindset impact
- Ellie’s tips for getting out of a style rut (even as a busy mom or business owner)
Connect with Ellie Steinbrink:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/style.decoded/
- Website: www.elliesteinbrink.com
Connect with Camille:
- Website: CamilleWalker.co
- Instagram: @camillewalker.co
- More Episodes: Call Me CEO Podcast
- Email: callmeceopodcast@gmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ellie (00:00):
I found that it was a time waster and it really kept
me from growing and testing andjust getting stuff out there.
So I've had to be I've had towrite a little mantra for myself
that just getting it out thereimperfect is better than getting
it out there perfect, becauseperfection is going to hinder
your growth.
Camille (00:28):
So you want to make an impact.
You're thinking about startinga business, sharing your voice.
How do women do it that handlemotherhood, family and still
chase after those dreams?
We'll listen each week as wedive into the stories of women
who know this is Call Me CEOweek.
As we dive into the stories ofwomen who know this is Call Me
(00:50):
CEO.
Welcome back everyone to CallMe CEO.
This is your host, camilleWalker, and here we celebrate
women building businesses thatchange lives and also are crux
of change within theirindividual lives, and that's
what really is interesting to me.
Every episode is sharingstories of women that matter,
which is every single one of you.
Thank you so much for beinghere and for trusting us with
your time.
We are going to learn a littlebit more about style today.
(01:11):
I wish we could all be in acozy room together, like looking
at different outfits in ourclosets, because that's what
Ellie Steinbrink is all about.
It's about personal branding.
It's about showing up inconfidence and how you can
elevate your business byincreasing your personal brand.
Ellie is a personal brandingexpert and stylist for female
entrepreneurs.
She draws on psychology andbranding and helps women to
(01:34):
define and embody a magneticpersonal style that will
encourage you to take boldaction.
So today, one of the mainthings I want to talk about is
showing up in your business, anda lot of times that can be
showing up virtually online,turning on that camera, pressing
go.
It can be going to thatnetworking meeting, so you feel
amazing.
It can be when you're a keynotespeaker and you want to nail
(01:55):
that outfit, so you really feelamazing.
So, ellie, thank you so muchfor being on the show today.
Ellie (02:01):
Thanks so much, Camille.
I can't wait to get startedwith this conversation.
Camille (02:05):
Me show today.
Thanks so much, camille.
I can't wait to get startedwith this conversation.
Me too, I wish that we couldlike look at my closet, and that
would be really scary.
But let me tell you it is colorcoordinated, which my husband
thinks is crazy.
But clothes are so fun and Ireally feel like there is so
much that goes into how wepresent ourselves and how we
show up with how we are dressed.
And this can seem surface levelto some, maybe more to men, I
(02:26):
don't know but there really isso much psychology that goes
into showing up and being ourbest self when we put on the
clothes that we wear.
So tell us more about you and Ican't wait to dive into this
topic.
Ellie (02:38):
Yeah, we have so much to talk about in regards to style
and confidence and visibilitymuch to talk about in regards to
style and confidence andvisibility.
But where my story starts, youknow, when I was a little girl,
I was obsessed with style and Iwould change my outfit probably
five times a day, depending onwhat I was doing.
I needed to have the perfectoutfit.
I grew up.
My mom was an artist, so I wassurrounded by creativity always,
(03:02):
and my dad's a farmer, so Iunderstood running business and
structure and getting thingsdone.
But even though I had thispassion my whole life, you know,
and as I got older and oldenough to dress myself and to
eventually shop, that passionnever went away.
But ironically, camille, therewas never once that I thought I
(03:26):
can go do something with this asmy career.
It was just a way in which Iexpressed myself.
And so when I got to be in highschool and I was thinking about
where am I going now?
What is it that I'm going to dowith my life?
So I went to college for thatand spent the majority.
I spent 20 years honestly inmarketing, most of that time in
(03:49):
advertising agencies where I wasin client service, but I was in
other roles also where I washelping anywhere from a personal
brand to develop their ownbrand and do their marketing all
the way up to Fortune 500companies, marketing all the way
up to Fortune 500 companies.
And during that time I rememberso distinctly, you know,
(04:11):
coworkers or clients of minewould say, gosh, ellie, I just,
I would love to just go shoppingwith you, you know, or bring
you into my closet, because Iknow you could transform it.
And I remember thinking, yeah,like I thought in the back of my
mind like, well, sheesh,wouldn't that be awesome if that
would be my life.
And it was just such a far offdream.
I couldn't even then, you know,connect how that could be my
(04:33):
life.
And it wasn't until years laterI, you know, on this journey on
my marketing career, I ended upgetting to the very role that I
thought I most wanted, which wasthe director of client services
at the agency I was working at.
And I got this role and Irealized that I hated it.
And it was probably thescariest time in my life,
(04:59):
because at that point I, youknow, I'd been married, I had
just had my second child, so Ihad two kids under three.
Not only was I exhausted from,you know, having two little kids
and just motherhood in general,but now I was carrying this
stress and guilt of being in acareer that I thought was my end
(05:20):
all be all and realizing that Ihate it so much and it's
contributing to this incredibleburnout, and I didn't know what
to do with that.
At the time, at that agencythat I was working at, they had
given us access to a businesscoach, a personal life coach,
and it was such an incrediblegift because it was in those.
(05:44):
I don't know if I should havebeen talking about wanting to
make a career move with thatwoman who was hired by my
company, but I decided to justgo all in and just say like I am
feeling incredibly burnout.
I don't know, I know this isnot for me, but I have no idea
what's next.
I don't know if you've everbeen in this point in your life
where the burnout and thetiredness and exhaustion was so
(06:05):
real that when someone asked me,well, what do you want?
What would be awesome to you,what would be a dream?
And I couldn't even answer thatquestion, and so we had to
start smaller and we started tothink about well, what would a
dream day look like for you?
And I remember styling comingup briefly during those coaching
(06:27):
sessions, but I was not in aposition at that time to even
think about how that mightbecome my ultimate career, but I
remember talking about well, Iwould definitely love more ease
in my day.
You know, I would love to notbe going 90 miles an hour every
single day and feeling like I'vegot a million balls in the air
and I'm not doing a good jobholding any of them up, and so I
(06:49):
remember journaling around.
You know, what would thisperfect day look like?
My daughter was going intokindergarten and I knew that I
wanted to be with my kids beforeand after school, and so one of
the things that came up waswell, maybe a role where I'm
working during the hours of whenmy kids are at school would be
a great.
Next step and I think this isfor anyone going through this
(07:14):
where you're feeling like I'mnot in the right place but I
don't know where to go next.
I know I remember myselffeeling like I wanted to have
the perfect plan and idea rightthere.
I wanted to know exactly whatthe next step was, and that's
not how it worked out for me.
But what I did allow myself todo is take the next best step,
(07:35):
which was to give myself morespace.
So I ended up finding a jobtechnically part-time, because
it was 30 hours a week with asmall company where I was the
director of marketing.
So, note I never did leave, youknow, marketing in that I spent
another four years in marketingafter I realized this is not
for me.
(07:55):
I did really enjoy my time atthat company and what I loved
most is that I gave myself timeto think, to chill out, you know
, to have some space in myschedule, whereas before I had
(08:16):
zero space in my schedule.
I remember there was evenbecause I had gone to such a
high pace, from such a high pace, into a job where and this was
an hour, technically an hourlyrole so I worked from nine to 3,
and I couldn't bring work home.
That was the contract, it wasthe biggest gift I didn't even
know I could get at that time.
So I remember getting homeafter work and I was with my
kids and I remember feeling alittle bored because I had never
(08:37):
had this much time on my hands.
So another thing that happenedduring this time is that the
woman who owned this company Iworked for.
She was a huge believer inmeditation, specifically
transcendental meditation, andso anyone that worked with her
for me, and so I learned how todo it, and when I was working at
(09:07):
this company, she would allowyou to do like a 20 minute
meditation session, you know,while you were there, like over
your lunch break, and I rememberthis one particular time that I
was in the middle of thismeditation and I opened my eyes
and it was as if I've nevergotten a message so clearly in
(09:28):
my entire life.
But I remember thinking, feelingcalled.
You need to do something withthis style, this passion that is
inside you.
It needs to come out in someshape or form.
It was just such a strong callto action that that very day, I
decided to get on the Instagramaccount that I created for
(09:50):
myself and I started posting.
I said, okay, I'm just going topost something every day about
style and I don't know what I'mdoing.
I didn't make really anycommitment other than I'm going
to do this every day until I gettired of it, get bored with it.
It becomes a nuisance in my day.
I'm just going to do it and seehow it feels, which is weird,
(10:13):
because that is not normally howI roll.
I'm someone who likes to have aplan.
I like to know okay, what arewe doing here, like, what's the
end goal?
And for me to sort of just putmyself out there and take a risk
because I had this incrediblenudge was a big risk for me.
Long story short, I neverstopped.
About a year later in thiscompany, I ended up losing my
(10:36):
job.
So it was 2020, lost my job dueto the pandemic and because I
had already started to talkabout style and find my voice.
And people were noticing andthey were like hey, ellie, can I
work with you?
I would.
You know.
All these people that I hadknown, all these relationships
that I had built over the years,were like we've been waiting
for you to do this, so can I nowwork with you?
(10:58):
So I was working with people onthe side.
So when I lost my job, it was asif there was no other option
for me.
It was the universe's nudge andpush to say this is time, this
is your time and we were talkingabout this, camille, before we
hit record but talk about aseemingly horrible time to start
a styling business in themiddle of the pandemic, but it
(11:23):
was really, it felt like to medivine timing and there was a
call so strong that I couldn'tignore it.
So I've been talking for awhile.
I don't know what has come upfor you about this, but it was a
really unexpected path and onethat I probably would have not
have chosen for myself had I notlost my job.
I often wonder how long wouldit have taken for me to fully go
(11:45):
all in on myself.
So I think the universe knewthat too, that I needed a push,
I needed a hard knock to get meto wake up and say you can do
this.
Camille (11:56):
Wow, what a cool experience, I think, with so
much that you're sharing here,especially with being a type A
personality always wanting theend in mind, much that you're
sharing here, especially withbeing a type A personality
always wanting the end in mind,cause that you know, anytime you
think of, oh, I'm setting outto do this, this is where I want
to end up.
How do I work backward?
I mean, that's what I've beentaught with, like building goals
.
But the true magic and a lot oftimes what happens, especially
(12:18):
when I interview women here isthat it really does come from
that place of passion where itdoesn't feel like this super
constructed I know exactly howthis is going to work out.
It comes more from a place of,of that passion, which is really
beautiful, because that cameout so clearly.
And to have that nudge a yearbefore, I mean cause gosh, if
(12:39):
anyone's ever built anythingonline, you the first few years
you're not making money Likeit's just.
It's something you're buildinga, an authority for, where
people notice.
So the fact that you alreadyhad that going is huge, because
then you were able to step in itwith more confidence.
I'm curious to hear witheverything that you were sharing
with style and building thatonline audience.
(13:01):
That's something that,especially for people that maybe
don't feel as confident intheir style or what they're
wearing, showing up on camera ishard for most people.
So have you with helping otherpeople, especially in terms of
helping them to build their ownpersonal style and visibility.
How do you help them withshowing up and turning the
(13:22):
camera on?
How do you help them withshowing up and turning the
camera on?
Because, I will be the first toadmit, I've been doing online
marketing of myself for so manyyears.
I am so tired of it that a lotof times I'm like, oh, I don't
even I'll go to email now, likeI'm so sick of showing up every
day.
Like, so, tell me a little bitmore about that.
And in a way, I'm I'm a littlebit envious of people who are
(13:46):
starting out brand new in that,because I feel like such a
grandma in the space where I'mlike, oh, turning on the camera
again.
Sometimes I'm in the mood,sometimes I'm not, so tell me a
little bit more about how youhelp women to feel that
confidence of showing up in thatway.
Ellie (14:00):
Yeah, I'm going to answer in two ways One kind of more a
style bend in which I coach myclients.
But I also want to start from apersonal perspective because
it's funny when I look back atthose first posts, like I scroll
back all the way to thebeginning of my Instagram reel.
It is a very cringy moment forme, you know, and I'm I see a
(14:29):
girl who is filled with passion,a woman who's filled with
passion, but it's just kind oflike, you know, is not uber
polished and it's funny becausethat is.
I'm a big perfectionist and soit's interesting to me that in
that moment I was so called bymy purpose at that time that I
was able to let some of thosethings go, labored to make
(14:51):
something absolutely perfect inmy business, whether it was a
new program I was putting out oreven the work I would do for my
clients.
I found that it was a timewaster and it really kept me
(15:14):
from growing and testing andjust getting stuff out there.
So I've had to write a littlemantra for myself that just
getting it out there imperfectis better than getting it out
there imperfect is better thangetting it out there perfect,
because perfection is going tohinder your growth, and it's
something I have to remindmyself.
Even now.
I'm in the middle of launchinga brand new program called the
(15:36):
Visibility Edit.
It's not new to me, but it'sgoing to be in a group format,
which is new for this particularthing I'm doing and I'm
reminding myself every day okay,ellie, if you work towards
perfection, that is ultimatelygoing to work against you.
The goal is not perfection, thegoal is to just get it launched
(15:59):
and to launch it messy.
So, again, I'm a perfectionist,and this goes against every
grain in my body, but I alsoknow that there's no better way
to growth if I don't embody amindset that allows me to just,
you know, take it down a fewnotches.
Yeah, so that's one aspect.
(16:20):
Now, when I'm working with myclients, I really want them to
understand that what you wearreally changes your mood, your
performance and your behavior,and this is rooted in brain
science.
And so there actually issomething that happens to you
when you have a feeling.
(16:40):
So I call this the closeteffect.
Okay, so you go into yourcloset and let's just choose any
given morning.
Some mornings, going into yourcloset and finding an outfit
feels like drudgery, it feelsstressful, it feels frustrating,
it feels a whole array of bademotions, and what happens when
(17:02):
we walk into our closet and wehave those awful feelings is our
brain is activated and startsto send chemicals throughout our
body.
Now, because it's a gross,yucky bad feeling, it starts to
send bad chemicals throughoutour body and what happens then
is that is setting the tone foryour day.
(17:23):
Okay, and I'm not going topretend that I've had all good
days in my closet.
I've had plenty of bad days,days where my jeans didn't zip
up, days where I had toddlersaround my ankles and I couldn't
even think more than a minute toeven put any idea into what an
outfit could be.
I've had plenty of bad days,even as a stylist, as someone
(17:44):
who teaches this.
What happens and I think youraudience and maybe you can
relate to this is, when you havethis kind of starting point in
your day, how does the rest ofyour day go?
What are some of the actionsyou take?
And I know for me personally,when I'm not feeling great in my
closet, I'm probably notputting on something that makes
me feel great, and the thingsthat show up for me is I don't
(18:09):
want to turn my Zoom camera on.
I might even like wish that mymeetings get canceled.
I start doing the things on myto-do list that I know are just
like productive but they're notneedle moving activities.
I might be a little snippy withmy husband.
I might fall off my healthroutine.
I've had women tell me thatthey kind of like at work
(18:31):
they'll just hide instead ofallowing themselves to be seen
or just going out and talking topeople.
And so then when you start offwith that kind of a day in your
closet and you're taking thoseactions, what kind of results
are you going to get?
And I know for me, the resultsI get is that I didn't make the
connections I needed to make.
If I had to go to a networkingevent God forbid that day I
(18:52):
probably hit up against the walland didn't introduce myself to
anyone and left way before theclosing time.
I probably didn't do the hardneedle moving tasks on my list
that I know would grow me andgrow my business.
It leads to nothing good.
Now, when you contrast that witha day in your closet where you
(19:13):
do have something you reallylove maybe it's a color that
makes you feel your best vibrantself, maybe it's a silhouette
that kind of just makes youforget about all the things you
don't love about your body.
Maybe it's a fabric that justmakes you feel warm and cozy.
Those days and I know thoselistening may be thinking I
don't have very many of thosedays, but I know you've had some
(19:35):
.
You know, maybe it was for abig event, you know.
But think about how you feel onthat day, the kind of actions
you take.
You know you're like floatingon air.
You're like I want to go meetwith everyone I possibly can
because look how good I, lookhow good I feel like the energy
is so different.
Those are the days, I knowpersonally, when I'm like I'm
going to go make that ask, youknow, to put myself out there
(19:57):
I'm taking more risks.
I'm a lot friendlier, I'mwanting to meet up with people
for coffee, and what kind ofresults do you get on that kind
of day?
And so, going back to yourquestion about those days when
(20:19):
you're not feeling theconfidence to turn on the camera
, how much of that could berelated to the experience you're
having in your closet?
What kind of an effect is yourcloset having?
And so then, when I'm havingthis conversation with my
clients, where do you take that?
Okay, you might say, okay,great, you're telling me I have.
You know, I'm sitting herethinking I have a lot of bad
days in my closet.
(20:39):
What do I do with that?
Okay, one thing you can do,like one practical tip you can
take away right now, is start tolook real hard at what's in
your closet.
Are the clothes in your closetclothes that give you energy,
that you truly love, that arecolors that make you feel great,
that give you energy, andthat's personal?
(21:00):
What colors you love and giveyou energy is personal to you?
Or is your closet filled withclothes that you think you
should have, because you're amom or because you're a woman
and you should have these things.
You should be wearing heels,you should be wearing skirts,
you should be wearing black.
If you're in a work setting, isit things that people have
(21:21):
gifted to you and you feel badabout not wearing it?
Is it clothes you bought andspent way too much money on and
you're like, well, I better wearit because I spent good money
on it, but I hate it every timeI put it on?
What relationship do you haveto your clothes in your closet?
And I'm telling you, if youhave a closet full of things
that don't make you feel great,that is going to shift your day
(21:43):
and impact your daily results.
Camille (21:47):
Are you drowning in your to-do list, stuck in the
day-to-day tasks that keep youfrom scaling your business?
You didn't start your dream tobe buried in busy work.
You started it to make animpact.
That's why I am here to helpyou find how the truth and the
beauty of delegation will helpyou to reach those goals much
more quickly.
I am offering a free discoverycall to help you identify
(22:14):
exactly what you need to do andhow to find the right virtual
assistant, which are actually.
I have many graduates from mycourse 60 days to VA who are
masters in many, many differentskill sets, so that you can find
the right virtual assistant foryou and you're able to be the
CEO that you are meant to be.
Imagine, focusing on what youdo best while a skilled VA
handles the rest.
(22:35):
It's time to ditch theoverwhelm and step into your
next level of success, and youcan book your free call below at
camillewalkerco.
We can build your dreambusiness together.
I believe this.
It's funny that I actuallytaught or helped teach.
I was a professor assistant fora class called Behavior Related
(22:55):
to Dress in university, and itwas so interesting to see how it
is so directly correlated tonot necessarily what we think of
ourselves, but what we thinkother people think of us.
So we show up differently andit's such internal work that is
(23:16):
related to our out outwardclothing which is interest.
It's all psychology because,yes, there are pieces of it
where people will judge you uponwhat you look like.
It is what it is, it's real,but so much more of our
understanding of how we perceivethe world is what we assume
other people are thinking of us.
So if we are in something thatmakes us feel confident,
(23:39):
relatable, I always like to erron the end of being more dressed
up for an occasion rather thanbeing underdressed.
My sister has always saidyou'll never go to a place and
feel bad about being overdressed.
But, the other side is true Ifyou're underdressed, you might
not show up the way you want to.
So I believe this a hundredpercent.
(24:01):
I know that anytime I've gonesomewhere and I feel great about
what I'm wearing, or I'm evendressed for the day working from
home because that's how I workis from home that I do show up
differently.
So I believe it 100%.
Ellie (24:15):
Yeah, this is making me think of two things.
One is exactly that during thepandemic when, you know, I
originally was at this job Imentioned for a few months,
before I then started mybusiness and so we all got sent
home and this was the first timein my life that I was not just
working at home one or two dayshere or there because it was a
(24:36):
snowstorm there's snowstormswhere I live or because this or
the other reason, or because mychild got sick and I had to then
work from home.
This was day after day.
This was my new reality ofworking from home.
This was day after day.
This was my new reality ofworking from home.
And I remember feeling I meanthere was, because it was that
time, it was the pandemic therewas a lot of reasons to feel
(24:57):
sluggish and unmotivated anddepressed and just not wanting
to get up off the couch, but Iwas kind of doing what everybody
else was doing.
I was wearing whatever I rolledout of bed in.
I wasn't putting a lot ofeffort into what.
I was kind of doing whateverybody else was doing.
I was wearing, you know,whatever I rolled out of bed in.
I wasn't putting a lot ofeffort into what I was wearing.
And I found myself just notwanting to attack my work or to
even just get very.
(25:18):
I mean, I would get a fewthings done.
I was like, okay, well, I guessthat's going to.
We're going to call it good.
And I had this aha moment a fewmonths in where I thought I'm
going to work, why don't I dresslike I'm get ready, like I'm
going to work, because maybethat will make me feel different
.
And so I, you know, I would domy hair and my makeup.
(25:38):
I would put like actual clotheson.
I would wear jeans, which waslike unheard of.
People are like what are youtrying to do here?
Like are you trying to impresssomebody?
I was like no, I am actuallyjust trying to feel better
inside so I can actually show upand do this job.
And I'm telling you it was agame changer for me.
So even now, even though we'rebeyond that phase of our lives,
(26:00):
there are still many women andclients that I work with that
are working from home a goodpercentage of their time.
I still work from home 100%,and I'm a true believer in
getting dressed for your day,even if no one sees you.
So I have days where I'm not onpodcasts, I'm not working with
clients, I am just at here,sitting here at my desk.
(26:21):
I dress for me because I knowit shifts my energy and the
things I know I need to get donethat day.
So I do it for me, and I thinkthat's the second point I want
to bring up of what you weretalking about when you were
mentioning.
You know people judging you andI really believe that we, as
(26:41):
women, have learned how to dressfor external validation.
It's the only thing we've beentaught, really, and myself
included.
You know dress to impress,dress for success.
There's all these rules.
You know dress to fit into yourenvironment.
When have we ever been taughtto go inward and think well,
(27:03):
what would I actually like?
What would make me feel my mostbest self?
And really, when I'm workingwith my clients, this is kind of
the.
What I'm trying to unravel andundo in our thinking is it's not
always about dressing to fit in, dressing to meet a certain
standard, because how we feel inour clothes matters, and that
(27:25):
is ultimately what is going tobecome your power, your
magnetism.
You know the special sauce thathelps you do the big things you
want to do.
But when, and like one of myfavorite examples of this and
I'm going to bring this story upbecause I have done this myself
, but my favorite example ofexternal validation is when we
need to get dressed for a bigevent you know, sometimes it's a
(27:48):
social event, or maybe a workevent, a speaking event women
will tend to pull their outfits.
You know they'll order fouroutfits and they'll go on
Instagram and they'll sayeverybody, tell me which one to
wear.
And I can say this because Ihave done this too.
There is a real need for us toknow that we're one.
(28:08):
We're going to look good, whatwe choose is going to be
socially acceptable.
But when have we checked inwith ourselves?
And so when I see women doingpolls, now, with all the loving
kindness I have in my heart,I'll say which one do you love?
Because if we take a moment andthis has happened to me.
You know, when I did a poll Ican remember it was about four
(28:29):
years ago I was doing one of myfirst speaking gigs.
I was nervous about it.
So I had five outfits and I putthem on Instagram and I said
everybody vote.
And you know what?
They all voted unanimously onthis one outfit and I thought,
okay, I'm going to vote, butthat's kind of not my favorite.
You know, like if I stopped andjust listened to my voice, there
(28:52):
was a huge temptation to belike well, everybody likes that
one, so I should probably justdo that, because I know that
when I walk into the room, I'mgoing to get a lot of validation
and that's going to feel goodand I'm going to get compliments
.
And it took a lot in me to sayand I think it was like a last.
I think I remember the morningof the speech, of the
presentation, I was going to gowith the outfit that everyone
(29:15):
had voted on and something in mewas like no, this is not how I
feel right today, this is nothow I feel most me.
And so I switched and guesswhat?
I showed up differently thatday as a result.
And so I switched and guesswhat?
I showed up differently thatday as a result.
And so what I want women toknow is we got to honor
(29:37):
ourselves first above anyoneelse, and that's just not
something we're taught.
We have to learn it.
Camille (29:40):
We have to, like, repave the grooves in our brain
to think in that way and toreally listen right, because
it's like taking the minute tobe like I feel like when I go in
my closet I feel like I willattract to a certain color or
what color do I feel likewearing today?
And then I kind of lean intothat.
First to just kind of tune intothat which, again, my husband
(30:01):
wears mostly light blue shirtsand dark pants.
Like you could look in hiscloset and be like, oh, what are
you going to wear today?
And he'll be like, no, but look, this one has stripes and this
one is a slightly differentthickness or whatever, and I'm
just like this all looks thesame to me, but that's his
experience and that's he's like.
Well, I know I feel good in in,like a light blue, like that's
(30:22):
what I feel most confident in,so he sticks to it.
It's almost like withoutmeaning to.
He kind of did the MarkZuckerberg or I guess it was the
who did it where they were thesame the.
Ellie (30:36):
Steve Jobs yeah, where he was like the same shirt and
pants.
Camille (30:39):
So it's like less decision fatigue, which all the
power to him.
He feels great in that colorand he sticks to it.
So I think it's reallyinteresting about making it
internal of really how do I feeltoday and what would make me
feel amazing?
And it's that whole Marie Kondo, like editing what don't I love
.
What has someone given me?
In fact, right now, as you weresaying that my sister has given
(31:01):
me dresses and different thingsthat I know she spent a lot of
money on and she gave to me andI still haven't worn it and it's
been like three years.
I'm like, oh, I should really gothrough and edit yes, yes,
that's giving me good motivation, because that can we put out
like stories in the way ofreally claiming what we want and
it we don't talk about itenough.
Ellie (31:22):
Yeah, so you talked about decision fatigue and I really
believe that a lot of the stresswe have in our closets in terms
of deciding what to wear isrelated to this, because what's
going through our head is notjust what would I like to wear
today, what would me feel likeme feel great it's.
Where am I going?
What's the dress there?
(31:42):
What is everyone else going tobe wearing?
If I should probably wear that,you know, I mean the number of
times I get questions about I'mgoing to this event what should
I wear?
Because this is the dress code.
And even you know, when I'mworking with my clients and we
get to the point of where we'reshopping and they're doing a try
on, you know they'll putsomething on that.
I've helped shop for them.
(32:02):
And the first question is youknow, what do you think?
And I'll say you know, while Iunderstand in my process,
they're seeking my input andwanting to learn from the
process, I will always just sayto them well, how do you feel?
Because I want them to betrained, to learn that your
needs and your desires comefirst.
But the other aspect of thisdecision fatigue and I think
(32:25):
we've kind of been dancingaround this, camille, this whole
conversation.
But there are really some deeprooted beliefs about style and
about our bodies that sometimeswe've gathered from the time
that we were little girls.
Beliefs then end up, you know,kind of taking over and we get
fears around.
Well, if I don't follow thatrule or that standard, if I move
(32:56):
away from that, I'm scared thismight happen and then, as a
result, we end upself-sabotaging.
So one example I can share frommy childhood so I was 14 years
old and I had two experiencesduring this year.
I was a freshman in high schoolthat would change how I dressed
for the next 30 years, oh, wow.
(33:17):
So uh.
The first instance was this daylong music.
I'm a trumpet player, so it wasa day long music competition at
my school and I had beenpreparing so hard for it.
And I remember going into asolo performance that day and I
came out stepped out of theclassroom because that's where
you know, where I performed in aclassroom, stepped out, and was
(33:38):
going to talk to my trumpetcoach and I remember him going
through all sorts of feedbackand I was feeling good, you know
, feeling like, okay, I nailedit.
And then the very last thing hesaid to me is you know, ellie,
the next time you perform, Iwant to make sure that you wear
something.
I was wearing a dress that day.
I want to make sure you'rewearing a dress that is a little
bit longer or that you'rewearing pants, because when you,
(34:00):
I know everybody can't see me,but when you raise your arms to
play, your skirt gets evenshorter.
And I remember, being theperfectionist and the higher
high achiever that I am, I wascompletely mortified and all of
a sudden, instead of thinkingabout what I could do to fine
tune my performance and feelinggreat about what I did, I was
(34:21):
obsessing over oh my gosh, wasthe judge only looking at my
legs?
Or, you know, was he totallydistracted this whole time and
did he even get anything out ofthis performance?
And that day, because it was myschool and I happened to live
across the street from theschool, I marched home
immediately, I changed into apant outfit and I came back and
(34:41):
finished the rest of my day.
So that was one instance that Istarted to think wow, okay,
what I'm wearing is maybedistracting from who I am or the
talents I have to give to theworld.
So later that year, I was justpassing between classes on a
normal school day and that day.
So this is the 90s.
(35:02):
I'm going to date myself.
This is the 90s and I waswearing a kilt, skirt and combat
boots, which was very in styleat the time.
Yeah, I was feeling very goodand I heard a voice behind me,
which I knew to be my malescience teacher, say those legs
go all the way up.
And you guys I'm telling youthis was my mom would not have
(35:25):
let me wore a really, reallyshort skirt.
This was, like you know, I hitthe end of my fingertips sort of
skirt.
But in my mind I think Isilently made a decision that
day that I'm done with shortskirts or dresses, because I
don't like how this is making mefeel.
I'm worried about how peopleare perceiving me.
(35:46):
I want them to see me ascompetent and skilled and
talented and all the greatqualities.
I feel like everyone is onlyjust seeing my body and it
really bothered me.
And so what that turned so?
This belief of if you wear shortskirts, you get negative, you
get attention you don't like andit distracts from who you are.
That was my silent belief atthat time when I was 14.
(36:08):
So then my actions started tobe when I would shop, I would
avoid shopping for reallyanything above the knee.
If I happened to bringsomething home, you know like
somehow, you know I got throughthat courage.
You know that I had courage tobring it home.
If it got into my closet, Iwould put it on that day.
I would end up changing halfwaythrough the day.
If it got into my closet, Iwould put it on that day.
I would end up changing halfwaythrough the day.
(36:36):
And when I started doing thiswork with women, I had the
realization that this was astory that had been present for
me for 30 years.
Wow, and it was time to let itgo, because those experiences
and that feedback and thatbelief that wearing short
anything above the knee is goingto lead to bad things
essentially that is a belief Ineed to let go.
And so when you stop to thinkabout it and actually when I do
(36:58):
this work on myself and I do itwith my clients, it's not just
one rule or belief or standardthat comes up.
It's like 20.
You know it's like being thinis beautiful, wearing black is
the most professional.
I can't wear horizontal stripesbecause of my size.
My mom never told me to nevershow your body.
You know, don't be too sexy.
Like, if you stop and thinkabout it, the number of rules
(37:20):
we've been given as women, asmoms, as leaders, as women in
their thirties, as women intheir forties as women in their
fifties.
The rules are endless, oh yeah.
And you get to a point whereyou're trying to follow all the
rules and do everything right,and then how are you able to
even find a style that feelsexpressive and feels true to you
(37:42):
when you're dealing with all ofthis junk in your head?
So what I'm describing isactually something I can share
with the audience.
There's a free download I hadit's called the Style Mindset
Reset where you can start to getcurious and do some journaling
around.
What are these rules for you?
I've kind of got an area foryou to brainstorm, two
(38:05):
categories where I see a lot ofrules come up.
One is cultural and the otheris familial and you can start to
write down and figure out.
Get curious, because I thinkfirst, just being aware of what
is driving your decisions andwhat is holding you back is the
first step to transformation.
Camille (38:25):
That's so powerful and such an internal dialogue that I
think what you're talking about.
My daughter is now 14 and I'mjust like, oh, what are the
stories that she's?
I feel like that's such amonumental time in our lives
where we really start to clingon to one thing that someone
says in this one circumstanceand we it becomes a part of our
(38:45):
story, like our brain at theformation of it, the time that
we are the puberty, whatever.
A part of our story like ourbrain at the formation of it,
the time that we are the puberty, whatever.
So I feel like that's sorelatable and so interesting to
make it internal work and totake a pause and really say what
are these stories that I'm,that I'm thinking of myself and
how can I show up as the bestversion of me?
But that takes some internalwork, which I love that we are
(39:08):
in that place in thisconversation, because showing up
as our best self really startsfrom within, just like anything
else showing up for ourselves inour relationships or in our
businesses or in the way that wedress.
So, gosh, this has been so good, ellie.
I'm so excited for everyone tohear where they can learn more
(39:28):
about you and more about yourvisibility edit that you have
coming up as well.
Ellie (39:34):
Yes, I'd love to share.
Thank you for asking so you canfind me.
I'm most active on Instagramand LinkedIn.
So on Instagram I'm atstyledecoded and then you can
find me on LinkedIn under myname, ellie Steinbrink.
You mentioned the VisibilityEdit.
Thank you so much.
I'm really excited about this.
(39:56):
The Visibility Edit is aneight-week group program, small
group, no more than 12 women.
I want it to be an intimateexperience.
The work that I was justtalking about, the mindset and
the inner work that's requiredto cultivate and be aware of
before you ever step a foot intothe store, is really the place
(40:17):
where I have seen, in my yearsof working with hundreds of
women on a one-to-one basis,that is actually where the
transformation occurs is thatfirst foundational work where
we're getting curious about whatdo I even like, instead of
external validation.
We're getting curious aboutwhat colors energize me.
We're getting curious aboutwhat silhouettes would make me
(40:37):
feel my best.
We're being aware of whatstories have ruled our decisions
.
That is actually the magic workand so that when we do get to
the point of stepping into thestore, a really beautiful
transformation can occur.
So all of that foundational workis going to be put into this
eight-week program and it'scalled the Visibility Edit.
(40:59):
So doors are opening early Julyand then the program actually
launches in mid-September.
So I would love if anybody isreally resonating with this
message and feels like they'reready for that kind of a
transformation inward to youroutward.
I'd love for you to join me.
So thanks, camille, for asking.
Camille (41:17):
Yeah, you're so welcome and thank you everyone for
tuning in.
If you found this helpful,please share this episode with a
friend.
It's always helpful for anyreview or making sure you're
subscribed so you can beinspired for more stories like
this with Ellie.
So thank you so much for tuningin and we will see you all next
time.
And thank you, ellie, thanksCamille.
(41:38):
Hey CEOs, thank you so much forspending your time with me.
If you found this episodeinspiring or helpful, please let
me know in a comment and afive-star review.
You could have the chance ofbeing a featured review on an
upcoming episode.
Continue the conversation onInstagram at callmeceopodcast,
and remember you are the boss.
I found that it was a time waster and it really kept
me from growing and testing andjust getting stuff out there.
So I've had to be I've had towrite a little mantra for myself
that just getting it out thereimperfect is better than getting
it out there perfect, becauseperfection is going to hinder
your growth.
Camille (00:28):
So you want to make an impact.
You're thinking about startinga business, sharing your voice.
How do women do it that handlemotherhood, family and still
chase after those dreams?
We'll listen each week as wedive into the stories of women
who know this is Call Me CEOweek.
As we dive into the stories ofwomen who know this is Call Me
(00:50):
CEO.
Welcome back everyone to CallMe CEO.
This is your host, camilleWalker, and here we celebrate
women building businesses thatchange lives and also are crux
of change within theirindividual lives, and that's
what really is interesting to me.
Every episode is sharingstories of women that matter,
which is every single one of you.
Thank you so much for beinghere and for trusting us with
your time.
We are going to learn a littlebit more about style today.
(01:11):
I wish we could all be in acozy room together, like looking
at different outfits in ourclosets, because that's what
Ellie Steinbrink is all about.
It's about personal branding.
It's about showing up inconfidence and how you can
elevate your business byincreasing your personal brand.
Ellie is a personal brandingexpert and stylist for female
entrepreneurs.
She draws on psychology andbranding and helps women to
(01:34):
define and embody a magneticpersonal style that will
encourage you to take boldaction.
So today, one of the mainthings I want to talk about is
showing up in your business, anda lot of times that can be
showing up virtually online,turning on that camera, pressing
go.
It can be going to thatnetworking meeting, so you feel
amazing.
It can be when you're a keynotespeaker and you want to nail
(01:55):
that outfit, so you really feelamazing.
So, ellie, thank you so muchfor being on the show today.
Ellie (02:01):
Thanks so much, Camille.
I can't wait to get startedwith this conversation.
Camille (02:05):
Me show today.
Thanks so much, camille.
I can't wait to get startedwith this conversation.
Me too, I wish that we couldlike look at my closet, and that
would be really scary.
But let me tell you it is colorcoordinated, which my husband
thinks is crazy.
But clothes are so fun and Ireally feel like there is so
much that goes into how wepresent ourselves and how we
show up with how we are dressed.
And this can seem surface levelto some, maybe more to men, I
(02:26):
don't know but there really isso much psychology that goes
into showing up and being ourbest self when we put on the
clothes that we wear.
So tell us more about you and Ican't wait to dive into this
topic.
Ellie (02:38):
Yeah, we have so much to talk about in regards to style
and confidence and visibilitymuch to talk about in regards to
style and confidence andvisibility.
But where my story starts, youknow, when I was a little girl,
I was obsessed with style and Iwould change my outfit probably
five times a day, depending onwhat I was doing.
I needed to have the perfectoutfit.
I grew up.
My mom was an artist, so I wassurrounded by creativity always,
(03:02):
and my dad's a farmer, so Iunderstood running business and
structure and getting thingsdone.
But even though I had thispassion my whole life, you know,
and as I got older and oldenough to dress myself and to
eventually shop, that passionnever went away.
But ironically, camille, therewas never once that I thought I
(03:26):
can go do something with this asmy career.
It was just a way in which Iexpressed myself.
And so when I got to be in highschool and I was thinking about
where am I going now?
What is it that I'm going to dowith my life?
So I went to college for thatand spent the majority.
I spent 20 years honestly inmarketing, most of that time in
(03:49):
advertising agencies where I wasin client service, but I was in
other roles also where I washelping anywhere from a personal
brand to develop their ownbrand and do their marketing all
the way up to Fortune 500companies, marketing all the way
up to Fortune 500 companies.
And during that time I rememberso distinctly, you know,
(04:11):
coworkers or clients of minewould say, gosh, ellie, I just,
I would love to just go shoppingwith you, you know, or bring
you into my closet, because Iknow you could transform it.
And I remember thinking, yeah,like I thought in the back of my
mind like, well, sheesh,wouldn't that be awesome if that
would be my life.
And it was just such a far offdream.
I couldn't even then, you know,connect how that could be my
(04:33):
life.
And it wasn't until years laterI, you know, on this journey on
my marketing career, I ended upgetting to the very role that I
thought I most wanted, which wasthe director of client services
at the agency I was working at.
And I got this role and Irealized that I hated it.
And it was probably thescariest time in my life,
(04:59):
because at that point I, youknow, I'd been married, I had
just had my second child, so Ihad two kids under three.
Not only was I exhausted from,you know, having two little kids
and just motherhood in general,but now I was carrying this
stress and guilt of being in acareer that I thought was my end
(05:20):
all be all and realizing that Ihate it so much and it's
contributing to this incredibleburnout, and I didn't know what
to do with that.
At the time, at that agencythat I was working at, they had
given us access to a businesscoach, a personal life coach,
and it was such an incrediblegift because it was in those.
(05:44):
I don't know if I should havebeen talking about wanting to
make a career move with thatwoman who was hired by my
company, but I decided to justgo all in and just say like I am
feeling incredibly burnout.
I don't know, I know this isnot for me, but I have no idea
what's next.
I don't know if you've everbeen in this point in your life
where the burnout and thetiredness and exhaustion was so
(06:05):
real that when someone asked me,well, what do you want?
What would be awesome to you,what would be a dream?
And I couldn't even answer thatquestion, and so we had to
start smaller and we started tothink about well, what would a
dream day look like for you?
And I remember styling comingup briefly during those coaching
(06:27):
sessions, but I was not in aposition at that time to even
think about how that mightbecome my ultimate career, but I
remember talking about well, Iwould definitely love more ease
in my day.
You know, I would love to notbe going 90 miles an hour every
single day and feeling like I'vegot a million balls in the air
and I'm not doing a good jobholding any of them up, and so I
(06:49):
remember journaling around.
You know, what would thisperfect day look like?
My daughter was going intokindergarten and I knew that I
wanted to be with my kids beforeand after school, and so one of
the things that came up waswell, maybe a role where I'm
working during the hours of whenmy kids are at school would be
a great.
Next step and I think this isfor anyone going through this
(07:14):
where you're feeling like I'mnot in the right place but I
don't know where to go next.
I know I remember myselffeeling like I wanted to have
the perfect plan and idea rightthere.
I wanted to know exactly whatthe next step was, and that's
not how it worked out for me.
But what I did allow myself todo is take the next best step,
(07:35):
which was to give myself morespace.
So I ended up finding a jobtechnically part-time, because
it was 30 hours a week with asmall company where I was the
director of marketing.
So, note I never did leave, youknow, marketing in that I spent
another four years in marketingafter I realized this is not
for me.
(07:55):
I did really enjoy my time atthat company and what I loved
most is that I gave myself timeto think, to chill out, you know
, to have some space in myschedule, whereas before I had
(08:16):
zero space in my schedule.
I remember there was evenbecause I had gone to such a
high pace, from such a high pace, into a job where and this was
an hour, technically an hourlyrole so I worked from nine to 3,
and I couldn't bring work home.
That was the contract, it wasthe biggest gift I didn't even
know I could get at that time.
So I remember getting homeafter work and I was with my
kids and I remember feeling alittle bored because I had never
(08:37):
had this much time on my hands.
So another thing that happenedduring this time is that the
woman who owned this company Iworked for.
She was a huge believer inmeditation, specifically
transcendental meditation, andso anyone that worked with her
for me, and so I learned how todo it, and when I was working at
(09:07):
this company, she would allowyou to do like a 20 minute
meditation session, you know,while you were there, like over
your lunch break, and I rememberthis one particular time that I
was in the middle of thismeditation and I opened my eyes
and it was as if I've nevergotten a message so clearly in
(09:28):
my entire life.
But I remember thinking, feelingcalled.
You need to do something withthis style, this passion that is
inside you.
It needs to come out in someshape or form.
It was just such a strong callto action that that very day, I
decided to get on the Instagramaccount that I created for
(09:50):
myself and I started posting.
I said, okay, I'm just going topost something every day about
style and I don't know what I'mdoing.
I didn't make really anycommitment other than I'm going
to do this every day until I gettired of it, get bored with it.
It becomes a nuisance in my day.
I'm just going to do it and seehow it feels, which is weird,
(10:13):
because that is not normally howI roll.
I'm someone who likes to have aplan.
I like to know okay, what arewe doing here, like, what's the
end goal?
And for me to sort of just putmyself out there and take a risk
because I had this incrediblenudge was a big risk for me.
Long story short, I neverstopped.
About a year later in thiscompany, I ended up losing my
(10:36):
job.
So it was 2020, lost my job dueto the pandemic and because I
had already started to talkabout style and find my voice.
And people were noticing andthey were like hey, ellie, can I
work with you?
I would.
You know.
All these people that I hadknown, all these relationships
that I had built over the years,were like we've been waiting
for you to do this, so can I nowwork with you?
(10:58):
So I was working with people onthe side.
So when I lost my job, it was asif there was no other option
for me.
It was the universe's nudge andpush to say this is time, this
is your time and we were talkingabout this, camille, before we
hit record but talk about aseemingly horrible time to start
a styling business in themiddle of the pandemic, but it
(11:23):
was really, it felt like to medivine timing and there was a
call so strong that I couldn'tignore it.
So I've been talking for awhile.
I don't know what has come upfor you about this, but it was a
really unexpected path and onethat I probably would have not
have chosen for myself had I notlost my job.
I often wonder how long wouldit have taken for me to fully go
(11:45):
all in on myself.
So I think the universe knewthat too, that I needed a push,
I needed a hard knock to get meto wake up and say you can do
this.
Camille (11:56):
Wow, what a cool experience, I think, with so
much that you're sharing here,especially with being a type A
personality always wanting theend in mind, much that you're
sharing here, especially withbeing a type A personality
always wanting the end in mind,cause that you know, anytime you
think of, oh, I'm setting outto do this, this is where I want
to end up.
How do I work backward?
I mean, that's what I've beentaught with, like building goals
.
But the true magic and a lot oftimes what happens, especially
(12:18):
when I interview women here isthat it really does come from
that place of passion where itdoesn't feel like this super
constructed I know exactly howthis is going to work out.
It comes more from a place of,of that passion, which is really
beautiful, because that cameout so clearly.
And to have that nudge a yearbefore, I mean cause gosh, if
(12:39):
anyone's ever built anythingonline, you the first few years
you're not making money Likeit's just.
It's something you're buildinga, an authority for, where
people notice.
So the fact that you alreadyhad that going is huge, because
then you were able to step in itwith more confidence.
I'm curious to hear witheverything that you were sharing
with style and building thatonline audience.
(13:01):
That's something that,especially for people that maybe
don't feel as confident intheir style or what they're
wearing, showing up on camera ishard for most people.
So have you with helping otherpeople, especially in terms of
helping them to build their ownpersonal style and visibility.
How do you help them withshowing up and turning the
(13:22):
camera on?
How do you help them withshowing up and turning the
camera on?
Because, I will be the first toadmit, I've been doing online
marketing of myself for so manyyears.
I am so tired of it that a lotof times I'm like, oh, I don't
even I'll go to email now, likeI'm so sick of showing up every
day.
Like, so, tell me a little bitmore about that.
And in a way, I'm I'm a littlebit envious of people who are
(13:46):
starting out brand new in that,because I feel like such a
grandma in the space where I'mlike, oh, turning on the camera
again.
Sometimes I'm in the mood,sometimes I'm not, so tell me a
little bit more about how youhelp women to feel that
confidence of showing up in thatway.
Ellie (14:00):
Yeah, I'm going to answer in two ways One kind of more a
style bend in which I coach myclients.
But I also want to start from apersonal perspective because
it's funny when I look back atthose first posts, like I scroll
back all the way to thebeginning of my Instagram reel.
It is a very cringy moment forme, you know, and I'm I see a
(14:29):
girl who is filled with passion,a woman who's filled with
passion, but it's just kind oflike, you know, is not uber
polished and it's funny becausethat is.
I'm a big perfectionist and soit's interesting to me that in
that moment I was so called bymy purpose at that time that I
was able to let some of thosethings go, labored to make
(14:51):
something absolutely perfect inmy business, whether it was a
new program I was putting out oreven the work I would do for my
clients.
I found that it was a timewaster and it really kept me
(15:14):
from growing and testing andjust getting stuff out there.
So I've had to write a littlemantra for myself that just
getting it out there imperfectis better than getting it out
there imperfect is better thangetting it out there perfect,
because perfection is going tohinder your growth, and it's
something I have to remindmyself.
Even now.
I'm in the middle of launchinga brand new program called the
(15:36):
Visibility Edit.
It's not new to me, but it'sgoing to be in a group format,
which is new for this particularthing I'm doing and I'm
reminding myself every day okay,ellie, if you work towards
perfection, that is ultimatelygoing to work against you.
The goal is not perfection, thegoal is to just get it launched
(15:59):
and to launch it messy.
So, again, I'm a perfectionist,and this goes against every
grain in my body, but I alsoknow that there's no better way
to growth if I don't embody amindset that allows me to just,
you know, take it down a fewnotches.
Yeah, so that's one aspect.
(16:20):
Now, when I'm working with myclients, I really want them to
understand that what you wearreally changes your mood, your
performance and your behavior,and this is rooted in brain
science.
And so there actually issomething that happens to you
when you have a feeling.
(16:40):
So I call this the closeteffect.
Okay, so you go into yourcloset and let's just choose any
given morning.
Some mornings, going into yourcloset and finding an outfit
feels like drudgery, it feelsstressful, it feels frustrating,
it feels a whole array of bademotions, and what happens when
(17:02):
we walk into our closet and wehave those awful feelings is our
brain is activated and startsto send chemicals throughout our
body.
Now, because it's a gross,yucky bad feeling, it starts to
send bad chemicals throughoutour body and what happens then
is that is setting the tone foryour day.
(17:23):
Okay, and I'm not going topretend that I've had all good
days in my closet.
I've had plenty of bad days,days where my jeans didn't zip
up, days where I had toddlersaround my ankles and I couldn't
even think more than a minute toeven put any idea into what an
outfit could be.
I've had plenty of bad days,even as a stylist, as someone
(17:44):
who teaches this.
What happens and I think youraudience and maybe you can
relate to this is, when you havethis kind of starting point in
your day, how does the rest ofyour day go?
What are some of the actionsyou take?
And I know for me personally,when I'm not feeling great in my
closet, I'm probably notputting on something that makes
me feel great, and the thingsthat show up for me is I don't
(18:09):
want to turn my Zoom camera on.
I might even like wish that mymeetings get canceled.
I start doing the things on myto-do list that I know are just
like productive but they're notneedle moving activities.
I might be a little snippy withmy husband.
I might fall off my healthroutine.
I've had women tell me thatthey kind of like at work
(18:31):
they'll just hide instead ofallowing themselves to be seen
or just going out and talking topeople.
And so then when you start offwith that kind of a day in your
closet and you're taking thoseactions, what kind of results
are you going to get?
And I know for me, the resultsI get is that I didn't make the
connections I needed to make.
If I had to go to a networkingevent God forbid that day I
(18:52):
probably hit up against the walland didn't introduce myself to
anyone and left way before theclosing time.
I probably didn't do the hardneedle moving tasks on my list
that I know would grow me andgrow my business.
It leads to nothing good.
Now, when you contrast that witha day in your closet where you
(19:13):
do have something you reallylove maybe it's a color that
makes you feel your best vibrantself, maybe it's a silhouette
that kind of just makes youforget about all the things you
don't love about your body.
Maybe it's a fabric that justmakes you feel warm and cozy.
Those days and I know thoselistening may be thinking I
don't have very many of thosedays, but I know you've had some
(19:35):
.
You know, maybe it was for abig event, you know.
But think about how you feel onthat day, the kind of actions
you take.
You know you're like floatingon air.
You're like I want to go meetwith everyone I possibly can
because look how good I, lookhow good I feel like the energy
is so different.
Those are the days, I knowpersonally, when I'm like I'm
going to go make that ask, youknow, to put myself out there
(19:57):
I'm taking more risks.
I'm a lot friendlier, I'mwanting to meet up with people
for coffee, and what kind ofresults do you get on that kind
of day?
And so, going back to yourquestion about those days when
(20:19):
you're not feeling theconfidence to turn on the camera
, how much of that could berelated to the experience you're
having in your closet?
What kind of an effect is yourcloset having?
And so then, when I'm havingthis conversation with my
clients, where do you take that?
Okay, you might say, okay,great, you're telling me I have.
You know, I'm sitting herethinking I have a lot of bad
days in my closet.
(20:39):
What do I do with that?
Okay, one thing you can do,like one practical tip you can
take away right now, is start tolook real hard at what's in
your closet.
Are the clothes in your closetclothes that give you energy,
that you truly love, that arecolors that make you feel great,
that give you energy, andthat's personal?
(21:00):
What colors you love and giveyou energy is personal to you?
Or is your closet filled withclothes that you think you
should have, because you're amom or because you're a woman
and you should have these things.
You should be wearing heels,you should be wearing skirts,
you should be wearing black.
If you're in a work setting, isit things that people have
(21:21):
gifted to you and you feel badabout not wearing it?
Is it clothes you bought andspent way too much money on and
you're like, well, I better wearit because I spent good money
on it, but I hate it every timeI put it on?
What relationship do you haveto your clothes in your closet?
And I'm telling you, if youhave a closet full of things
that don't make you feel great,that is going to shift your day
(21:43):
and impact your daily results.
Camille (21:47):
Are you drowning in your to-do list, stuck in the
day-to-day tasks that keep youfrom scaling your business?
You didn't start your dream tobe buried in busy work.
You started it to make animpact.
That's why I am here to helpyou find how the truth and the
beauty of delegation will helpyou to reach those goals much
more quickly.
I am offering a free discoverycall to help you identify
(22:14):
exactly what you need to do andhow to find the right virtual
assistant, which are actually.
I have many graduates from mycourse 60 days to VA who are
masters in many, many differentskill sets, so that you can find
the right virtual assistant foryou and you're able to be the
CEO that you are meant to be.
Imagine, focusing on what youdo best while a skilled VA
handles the rest.
(22:35):
It's time to ditch theoverwhelm and step into your
next level of success, and youcan book your free call below at
camillewalkerco.
We can build your dreambusiness together.
I believe this.
It's funny that I actuallytaught or helped teach.
I was a professor assistant fora class called Behavior Related
(22:55):
to Dress in university, and itwas so interesting to see how it
is so directly correlated tonot necessarily what we think of
ourselves, but what we thinkother people think of us.
So we show up differently andit's such internal work that is
(23:16):
related to our out outwardclothing which is interest.
It's all psychology because,yes, there are pieces of it
where people will judge you uponwhat you look like.
It is what it is, it's real,but so much more of our
understanding of how we perceivethe world is what we assume
other people are thinking of us.
So if we are in something thatmakes us feel confident,
(23:39):
relatable, I always like to erron the end of being more dressed
up for an occasion rather thanbeing underdressed.
My sister has always saidyou'll never go to a place and
feel bad about being overdressed.
But, the other side is true Ifyou're underdressed, you might
not show up the way you want to.
So I believe this a hundredpercent.
(24:01):
I know that anytime I've gonesomewhere and I feel great about
what I'm wearing, or I'm evendressed for the day working from
home because that's how I workis from home that I do show up
differently.
So I believe it 100%.
Ellie (24:15):
Yeah, this is making me think of two things.
One is exactly that during thepandemic when, you know, I
originally was at this job Imentioned for a few months,
before I then started mybusiness and so we all got sent
home and this was the first timein my life that I was not just
working at home one or two dayshere or there because it was a
(24:36):
snowstorm there's snowstormswhere I live or because this or
the other reason, or because mychild got sick and I had to then
work from home.
This was day after day.
This was my new reality ofworking from home.
This was day after day.
This was my new reality ofworking from home.
And I remember feeling I meanthere was, because it was that
time, it was the pandemic therewas a lot of reasons to feel
(24:57):
sluggish and unmotivated anddepressed and just not wanting
to get up off the couch, but Iwas kind of doing what everybody
else was doing.
I was wearing whatever I rolledout of bed in.
I wasn't putting a lot ofeffort into what.
I was kind of doing whateverybody else was doing.
I was wearing, you know,whatever I rolled out of bed in.
I wasn't putting a lot ofeffort into what I was wearing.
And I found myself just notwanting to attack my work or to
even just get very.
(25:18):
I mean, I would get a fewthings done.
I was like, okay, well, I guessthat's going to.
We're going to call it good.
And I had this aha moment a fewmonths in where I thought I'm
going to work, why don't I dresslike I'm get ready, like I'm
going to work, because maybethat will make me feel different
.
And so I, you know, I would domy hair and my makeup.
(25:38):
I would put like actual clotheson.
I would wear jeans, which waslike unheard of.
People are like what are youtrying to do here?
Like are you trying to impresssomebody?
I was like no, I am actuallyjust trying to feel better
inside so I can actually show upand do this job.
And I'm telling you it was agame changer for me.
So even now, even though we'rebeyond that phase of our lives,
(26:00):
there are still many women andclients that I work with that
are working from home a goodpercentage of their time.
I still work from home 100%,and I'm a true believer in
getting dressed for your day,even if no one sees you.
So I have days where I'm not onpodcasts, I'm not working with
clients, I am just at here,sitting here at my desk.
(26:21):
I dress for me because I knowit shifts my energy and the
things I know I need to get donethat day.
So I do it for me, and I thinkthat's the second point I want
to bring up of what you weretalking about when you were
mentioning.
You know people judging you andI really believe that we, as
(26:41):
women, have learned how to dressfor external validation.
It's the only thing we've beentaught, really, and myself
included.
You know dress to impress,dress for success.
There's all these rules.
You know dress to fit into yourenvironment.
When have we ever been taughtto go inward and think well,
(27:03):
what would I actually like?
What would make me feel my mostbest self?
And really, when I'm workingwith my clients, this is kind of
the.
What I'm trying to unravel andundo in our thinking is it's not
always about dressing to fit in, dressing to meet a certain
standard, because how we feel inour clothes matters, and that
(27:25):
is ultimately what is going tobecome your power, your
magnetism.
You know the special sauce thathelps you do the big things you
want to do.
But when, and like one of myfavorite examples of this and
I'm going to bring this story upbecause I have done this myself
, but my favorite example ofexternal validation is when we
need to get dressed for a bigevent you know, sometimes it's a
(27:48):
social event, or maybe a workevent, a speaking event women
will tend to pull their outfits.
You know they'll order fouroutfits and they'll go on
Instagram and they'll sayeverybody, tell me which one to
wear.
And I can say this because Ihave done this too.
There is a real need for us toknow that we're one.
(28:08):
We're going to look good, whatwe choose is going to be
socially acceptable.
But when have we checked inwith ourselves?
And so when I see women doingpolls, now, with all the loving
kindness I have in my heart,I'll say which one do you love?
Because if we take a moment andthis has happened to me.
You know, when I did a poll Ican remember it was about four
(28:29):
years ago I was doing one of myfirst speaking gigs.
I was nervous about it.
So I had five outfits and I putthem on Instagram and I said
everybody vote.
And you know what?
They all voted unanimously onthis one outfit and I thought,
okay, I'm going to vote, butthat's kind of not my favorite.
You know, like if I stopped andjust listened to my voice, there
(28:52):
was a huge temptation to belike well, everybody likes that
one, so I should probably justdo that, because I know that
when I walk into the room, I'mgoing to get a lot of validation
and that's going to feel goodand I'm going to get compliments
.
And it took a lot in me to sayand I think it was like a last.
I think I remember the morningof the speech, of the
presentation, I was going to gowith the outfit that everyone
(29:15):
had voted on and something in mewas like no, this is not how I
feel right today, this is nothow I feel most me.
And so I switched and guesswhat?
I showed up differently thatday as a result.
And so I switched and guesswhat?
I showed up differently thatday as a result.
And so what I want women toknow is we got to honor
(29:37):
ourselves first above anyoneelse, and that's just not
something we're taught.
We have to learn it.
Camille (29:40):
We have to, like, repave the grooves in our brain
to think in that way and toreally listen right, because
it's like taking the minute tobe like I feel like when I go in
my closet I feel like I willattract to a certain color or
what color do I feel likewearing today?
And then I kind of lean intothat.
First to just kind of tune intothat which, again, my husband
(30:01):
wears mostly light blue shirtsand dark pants.
Like you could look in hiscloset and be like, oh, what are
you going to wear today?
And he'll be like, no, but look, this one has stripes and this
one is a slightly differentthickness or whatever, and I'm
just like this all looks thesame to me, but that's his
experience and that's he's like.
Well, I know I feel good in in,like a light blue, like that's
(30:22):
what I feel most confident in,so he sticks to it.
It's almost like withoutmeaning to.
He kind of did the MarkZuckerberg or I guess it was the
who did it where they were thesame the.
Ellie (30:36):
Steve Jobs yeah, where he was like the same shirt and
pants.
Camille (30:39):
So it's like less decision fatigue, which all the
power to him.
He feels great in that colorand he sticks to it.
So I think it's reallyinteresting about making it
internal of really how do I feeltoday and what would make me
feel amazing?
And it's that whole Marie Kondo, like editing what don't I love
.
What has someone given me?
In fact, right now, as you weresaying that my sister has given
(31:01):
me dresses and different thingsthat I know she spent a lot of
money on and she gave to me andI still haven't worn it and it's
been like three years.
I'm like, oh, I should really gothrough and edit yes, yes,
that's giving me good motivation, because that can we put out
like stories in the way ofreally claiming what we want and
it we don't talk about itenough.
Ellie (31:22):
Yeah, so you talked about decision fatigue and I really
believe that a lot of the stresswe have in our closets in terms
of deciding what to wear isrelated to this, because what's
going through our head is notjust what would I like to wear
today, what would me feel likeme feel great it's.
Where am I going?
What's the dress there?
(31:42):
What is everyone else going tobe wearing?
If I should probably wear that,you know, I mean the number of
times I get questions about I'mgoing to this event what should
I wear?
Because this is the dress code.
And even you know, when I'mworking with my clients and we
get to the point of where we'reshopping and they're doing a try
on, you know they'll putsomething on that.
I've helped shop for them.
(32:02):
And the first question is youknow, what do you think?
And I'll say you know, while Iunderstand in my process,
they're seeking my input andwanting to learn from the
process, I will always just sayto them well, how do you feel?
Because I want them to betrained, to learn that your
needs and your desires comefirst.
But the other aspect of thisdecision fatigue and I think
(32:25):
we've kind of been dancingaround this, camille, this whole
conversation.
But there are really some deeprooted beliefs about style and
about our bodies that sometimeswe've gathered from the time
that we were little girls.
Beliefs then end up, you know,kind of taking over and we get
fears around.
Well, if I don't follow thatrule or that standard, if I move
(32:56):
away from that, I'm scared thismight happen and then, as a
result, we end upself-sabotaging.
So one example I can share frommy childhood so I was 14 years
old and I had two experiencesduring this year.
I was a freshman in high schoolthat would change how I dressed
for the next 30 years, oh, wow.
(33:17):
So uh.
The first instance was this daylong music.
I'm a trumpet player, so it wasa day long music competition at
my school and I had beenpreparing so hard for it.
And I remember going into asolo performance that day and I
came out stepped out of theclassroom because that's where
you know, where I performed in aclassroom, stepped out, and was
(33:38):
going to talk to my trumpetcoach and I remember him going
through all sorts of feedbackand I was feeling good, you know
, feeling like, okay, I nailedit.
And then the very last thing hesaid to me is you know, ellie,
the next time you perform, Iwant to make sure that you wear
something.
I was wearing a dress that day.
I want to make sure you'rewearing a dress that is a little
bit longer or that you'rewearing pants, because when you,
(34:00):
I know everybody can't see me,but when you raise your arms to
play, your skirt gets evenshorter.
And I remember, being theperfectionist and the higher
high achiever that I am, I wascompletely mortified and all of
a sudden, instead of thinkingabout what I could do to fine
tune my performance and feelinggreat about what I did, I was
(34:21):
obsessing over oh my gosh, wasthe judge only looking at my
legs?
Or, you know, was he totallydistracted this whole time and
did he even get anything out ofthis performance?
And that day, because it was myschool and I happened to live
across the street from theschool, I marched home
immediately, I changed into apant outfit and I came back and
(34:41):
finished the rest of my day.
So that was one instance that Istarted to think wow, okay,
what I'm wearing is maybedistracting from who I am or the
talents I have to give to theworld.
So later that year, I was justpassing between classes on a
normal school day and that day.
So this is the 90s.
(35:02):
I'm going to date myself.
This is the 90s and I waswearing a kilt, skirt and combat
boots, which was very in styleat the time.
Yeah, I was feeling very goodand I heard a voice behind me,
which I knew to be my malescience teacher, say those legs
go all the way up.
And you guys I'm telling youthis was my mom would not have
(35:25):
let me wore a really, reallyshort skirt.
This was, like you know, I hitthe end of my fingertips sort of
skirt.
But in my mind I think Isilently made a decision that
day that I'm done with shortskirts or dresses, because I
don't like how this is making mefeel.
I'm worried about how peopleare perceiving me.
(35:46):
I want them to see me ascompetent and skilled and
talented and all the greatqualities.
I feel like everyone is onlyjust seeing my body and it
really bothered me.
And so what that turned so?
This belief of if you wear shortskirts, you get negative, you
get attention you don't like andit distracts from who you are.
That was my silent belief atthat time when I was 14.
(36:08):
So then my actions started tobe when I would shop, I would
avoid shopping for reallyanything above the knee.
If I happened to bringsomething home, you know like
somehow, you know I got throughthat courage.
You know that I had courage tobring it home.
If it got into my closet, Iwould put it on that day.
I would end up changing halfwaythrough the day.
If it got into my closet, Iwould put it on that day.
I would end up changing halfwaythrough the day.
(36:36):
And when I started doing thiswork with women, I had the
realization that this was astory that had been present for
me for 30 years.
Wow, and it was time to let itgo, because those experiences
and that feedback and thatbelief that wearing short
anything above the knee is goingto lead to bad things
essentially that is a belief Ineed to let go.
And so when you stop to thinkabout it and actually when I do
(36:58):
this work on myself and I do itwith my clients, it's not just
one rule or belief or standardthat comes up.
It's like 20.
You know it's like being thinis beautiful, wearing black is
the most professional.
I can't wear horizontal stripesbecause of my size.
My mom never told me to nevershow your body.
You know, don't be too sexy.
Like, if you stop and thinkabout it, the number of rules
(37:20):
we've been given as women, asmoms, as leaders, as women in
their thirties, as women intheir forties as women in their
fifties.
The rules are endless, oh yeah.
And you get to a point whereyou're trying to follow all the
rules and do everything right,and then how are you able to
even find a style that feelsexpressive and feels true to you
(37:42):
when you're dealing with all ofthis junk in your head?
So what I'm describing isactually something I can share
with the audience.
There's a free download I hadit's called the Style Mindset
Reset where you can start to getcurious and do some journaling
around.
What are these rules for you?
I've kind of got an area foryou to brainstorm, two
(38:05):
categories where I see a lot ofrules come up.
One is cultural and the otheris familial and you can start to
write down and figure out.
Get curious, because I thinkfirst, just being aware of what
is driving your decisions andwhat is holding you back is the
first step to transformation.
Camille (38:25):
That's so powerful and such an internal dialogue that I
think what you're talking about.
My daughter is now 14 and I'mjust like, oh, what are the
stories that she's?
I feel like that's such amonumental time in our lives
where we really start to clingon to one thing that someone
says in this one circumstanceand we it becomes a part of our
(38:45):
story, like our brain at theformation of it, the time that
we are the puberty, whatever.
A part of our story like ourbrain at the formation of it,
the time that we are the puberty, whatever.
So I feel like that's sorelatable and so interesting to
make it internal work and totake a pause and really say what
are these stories that I'm,that I'm thinking of myself and
how can I show up as the bestversion of me?
But that takes some internalwork, which I love that we are
(39:08):
in that place in thisconversation, because showing up
as our best self really startsfrom within, just like anything
else showing up for ourselves inour relationships or in our
businesses or in the way that wedress.
So, gosh, this has been so good, ellie.
I'm so excited for everyone tohear where they can learn more
(39:28):
about you and more about yourvisibility edit that you have
coming up as well.
Ellie (39:34):
Yes, I'd love to share.
Thank you for asking so you canfind me.
I'm most active on Instagramand LinkedIn.
So on Instagram I'm atstyledecoded and then you can
find me on LinkedIn under myname, ellie Steinbrink.
You mentioned the VisibilityEdit.
Thank you so much.
I'm really excited about this.
(39:56):
The Visibility Edit is aneight-week group program, small
group, no more than 12 women.
I want it to be an intimateexperience.
The work that I was justtalking about, the mindset and
the inner work that's requiredto cultivate and be aware of
before you ever step a foot intothe store, is really the place
(40:17):
where I have seen, in my yearsof working with hundreds of
women on a one-to-one basis,that is actually where the
transformation occurs is thatfirst foundational work where
we're getting curious about whatdo I even like, instead of
external validation.
We're getting curious aboutwhat colors energize me.
We're getting curious aboutwhat silhouettes would make me
(40:37):
feel my best.
We're being aware of whatstories have ruled our decisions
.
That is actually the magic workand so that when we do get to
the point of stepping into thestore, a really beautiful
transformation can occur.
So all of that foundational workis going to be put into this
eight-week program and it'scalled the Visibility Edit.
(40:59):
So doors are opening early Julyand then the program actually
launches in mid-September.
So I would love if anybody isreally resonating with this
message and feels like they'reready for that kind of a
transformation inward to youroutward.
I'd love for you to join me.
So thanks, camille, for asking.
Camille (41:17):
Yeah, you're so welcome and thank you everyone for
tuning in.
If you found this helpful,please share this episode with a
friend.
It's always helpful for anyreview or making sure you're
subscribed so you can beinspired for more stories like
this with Ellie.
So thank you so much for tuningin and we will see you all next
time.
And thank you, ellie, thanksCamille.
(41:38):
Hey CEOs, thank you so much forspending your time with me.
If you found this episodeinspiring or helpful, please let
me know in a comment and afive-star review.
You could have the chance ofbeing a featured review on an
upcoming episode.
Continue the conversation onInstagram at callmeceopodcast,
and remember you are the boss.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!