July 14, 2025 • 37 mins
NOT EVERYONE HAS THE NEED TO ANALYZE THEMSELVES AND WHY THEY ENJOY CERTAIN KINKS, BUT THOSE WHO DO, COME IN FOR A LISTEN. YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED.
CROSSDRESSING, ABDL, CUCKOLDING AND MORE!
#CROSSDRESSING #ABDL #CUCKOLDING #SUBMISSION
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia. We've got with me, Madam Liv.
Morning. Good morning, Liv.
How are you? Better are you?
Better. I hope so.
What a base, I love it. On them drugs and that's
supposed to be on. They weren't making beer.
(00:28):
Chip, Chip Cheerio. They were not making her field
chip chip, nothing, no. That was I was really opposite.
That was Chip chipping away poorMadam Liv.
All right. And we got over in the left
corner. Poop, poop, poop, poop.
Little poop. Hiya folks.
Well guys, we have had an exciting weekend.
(00:51):
We had 4th of July and now we'regoing into the second week of
July. Where is the summer gone?
This summer have fucking just vanished.
It has slipped away. I don't like it.
I don't know either. It's gone way too fast.
When you get older, time feels like that.
The year passes so fast. I don't know, my summers usually
(01:12):
go pretty darn slow because I'm not doing a whole lot.
I guess it's 'cause you're. Having fun.
That's exactly what it is. Party hard.
You'll stop being so fun so it slows down.
God, in that the tree. Sometimes.
Even when you are boring, you are fun.
Come on. All right, think about this.
What was probably your fun year?Your, your absolute best year,
(01:34):
you think in your life stuff so far?
I mean, we're, we're in our 30s forties now.
Let's think about that. I can honestly say when I was
21, I probably did so much that year that it was insane.
I was, I was doing 2 jobs. I was going out every night of
the week when there wasn't something to do.
I was still trying to do something that night like it was
(01:56):
rarely and I I ever stayed at home.
Last year, because I've been hindranced when I was younger, I
didn't move out until I was 17 or I moved out early 17 and then
got married right after. Never go out.
Like he was very conservative. And then when we, yeah, when we
get finally got, you know, separated and divorced two years
in, the first year was rough. For the second year I was doing
(02:17):
whatever I wanted and it was really nice to just finally let
it go. So he's last year.
Yeah. I love my childhood, like bits
and pieces of it, like going around the block, playing
basketball, riding my scooter, like I liked all that.
Mr. Kool-aid Pillows. Yeah.
That's why I found that that bulb, you know I never let go.
(02:45):
PO what do you say is your best year?
I'm not trying to be a kiss ass here, but it's definitely been
this year. Wow, that's.
Great. There's something about being
amongst like minded people and what's that?
The mind, freedom. It is it is and just being able
to be your true authentic self, not having a mask constantly not
try to make up excuses for you know, I can't do that because
(03:10):
I'm going to a dungeon and gonnaget beat.
You know something that nature it's a little hard to explain to
you vanilla friends that so you have to wind up, you know,
making up some halfway truths. And so like I said, this year is
been forget awesome. I'm glad I learned a lot about
myself. I'm glad we're glad we met you.
Very. And don't vanilla friends just
suck? Yeah, I really is how boring
they are. Really and truly.
Like you have a stale life. See, I don't, I, I don't even
(03:32):
mind like if they're vanilla andtheir behavior, it's when they
have vanilla like judgements, ifthat makes sense.
Like I you don't have to be intothe same thing that I'm into,
but you can't listen to my story.
And if you're not like you can find something to laugh about.
You can find something to find joy in it and like, and, but
when they're just like, I only want to hear that, Oh, that,
(03:53):
that's just great. It's just like.
My sister. Doesn't want to hear open your
perspective a little bit becauseI'm not asking you to join in.
I'm just want to tell you my experience and part of my life
story. I know, Liv.
I had, I had asked you somethingone day and you you called me
and you were like, yeah, you know, I tried to talk to my
sister and try to tell her aboutmy really cool scene, but she
(04:16):
didn't want to hear it. She called me gross.
I was like, damn, fuck her. Yeah.
She she said that I gave her an unsolicited Dick pic because I
was showing her sounding and I really am so desensitized by
Dick that I didn't think that was a bad thing.
I thought she was upset that I sent her a picture of a rod
inside of a Dick. OK, but she was like, no,
Christina, you just sent me an unsolicited Dick pic.
I was like, ohh, I forgot that. That's like a no no.
(04:41):
I didn't even see a Dick, I justsaw her rod in something.
Yeah, I wasn't even thinking that way, but she knows what I
do, so I just didn't think it was that big of a deal.
And we send each other our boyfriends Dicks.
Like, look how big? That's what.
I well obviously she solicited to that one.
Yeah, I'm saying it's it's so it's selective, I guess.
Yeah, selective on her Dicks. You know, it's a part of the
(05:04):
human anatomy. Yeah, but when you stick needles
and rods through it, you know but.
She's not even that interested in sex.
So, like, what the fuck does it matter?
Yeah, my sister, my eldest sister.
I I will tell you, she used to. And she's been married to her
gay husband still to this day for almost 40 years.
And they used to have a set day every week on a Tuesday to have
(05:29):
sex. And that was it.
They both worked, you know, numerous jobs.
They raised, you know, five children together.
They had a very full, active life.
However, it should have been an indicator that he was a very
sterile, clean man and that he wanted sex only one night a
week. Right?
OK, that is. Gay.
(05:50):
If she should have realized thatmy thing of it is I have tried
to have a conversation with her because she feels it necessary
to kiss ass to my aunt and tell my aunt on some level what she
thinks I do right. And my aunt is highly religious,
my sister is highly religious and it's always fucking
religion. And it's just, it's mind numbing
(06:14):
like nobody gives a fuck. I really I don't care.
But at the end of the day, when they both have called me to
criticize me about what they think I do right, they
automatically think that I'm just this horrible person on so
many levels. But interested of your job.
Yes. That's so weird.
It is, and the fact that I talk about it on the podcast.
(06:35):
Yeah, no, I've I've. Just to each their own, you
know, if you're as long as you're not hurting yourself or
nobody else, why does it? Matter.
Why isn't? It it's just the misconceptions
that people have like they think, Oh, don't like having
you're going there. Well, like, for example, if
they're very, you know, religious, they automatically
think, Oh, that that has something to do with the devil.
Or I mean, like, I, I've heard it so many times and to the
(06:56):
point where I just go, I don't know, maybe it's the, you know,
the, yeah, the worst, best choice you'll ever make, you
know, highway to hell, babe. You know, I don't, I don't know
what to, what to tell you. Because when they have that
exactly, they have that mindset,there's nothing that I can say
to to alter that mindset. So I don't even really know why
(07:17):
they're telling me their mindsetat that point.
Because you know, you're not wanting to have a conversation
and to look at it from my point,even though I will have the
conversation and I can look at it from your point, you're not
going to give me the same courtesy.
But why even have that conversation?
That's why I only like understanding people.
You don't have to be part of thedungeon, but you can be
understanding it. Sure.
What's the word? You know, caring.
Or like what's compassionate? Compassionate.
(07:39):
Empathetic. Yeah.
Yeah, compassion to other peopleand their feelings.
Just well, interestingly enough,we'd all gone out to dinner.
Liv was there, everybody was there.
My eldest sister actually listened to me tell my niece, my
eldest niece about specifically two people that I've seen in the
dungeon. And I was like 1 was very much
suicidal before we met. That's it.
(08:00):
He had a very difficult life andyou know, he wants to cross
dress and it was not accepted byhis wife.
This is something, you know, I've, I've known, I've helped
him. It's been many years that he's
continue to see me. And so that doesn't make me a
bad person at all. And then there was another
gentleman. I, I told her, I said, you will
not think that you know the guy next door or the uncle or your
(08:23):
boss or people who are really like into BDSM and they had this
kink. You'd never think that they were
a crossdresser or they were in into spanking or it's just
something, something specific I said because everybody's into
something I said. It doesn't make them a bad
person. And believe it or not, my eldest
sister was actually sitting there intently, listening
(08:44):
intently. It's crazy.
And I told my niece, I said, youknow, I got the nicest e-mail a
few months ago. And I said it was very direct to
say, hey, Mia, I really, truly appreciate everything you've
ever done for me. I love you.
You're the best. You don't believe.
You won't believe how much this has helped me in my life.
We get emails like that all. The time, all the time.
(09:05):
I've sent a few of those emails so.
You will PO. You will because you guide
people through the fact that you've come here, you opened
yourself up, you talk about being an adult baby freely and
comfortably so and then you've talked about being Master Viper,
just changing it up and. Being you did that beautifully,
(09:27):
you did. I really appreciate that you
helped a lot too, because I, I was feeding off of your energy,
you know, as we were going through it and I was of course
feeding off of. Everybody in the room.
Sage is energy, you know, I justall the energy that was going
through there and like I said it, it just made for a beautiful
team. Honestly, I couldn't believe how
well it went, but I do know whenI went home, God, I was high
(09:49):
like hours high like no drug could touch that high.
That's a good that's a good day Tater.
You got lost and your thought was great.
It's great. Now, interestingly enough, a few
years back, my other sister, nowI have two sisters, but my other
sister moved in. She'd gone through a terrible
(10:09):
divorce and she'd really struggled with a lot because
ultimately I knew the relationship that she had with
her, with her husband and he wasvery much kind of like he would
top her. And I think really he's more of
submissive and more or less wants to be objectified in the
fact that she's very much submissive.
And I didn't really want to see it because with me, I like to be
(10:32):
surrounded by women who want to be dominant.
Females find empowerment. But I should have known because
in real life, my sister is a bitch.
She's a miserable bitch at times.
And in turn, I love her. It doesn't change anything,
right? But I saw her at a party.
She came to a party and she was one of your parties, Yes.
(10:53):
And she was dating a very much much older man who was almost
70, and my sister at the time was probably 50.
OK, that's a. That's a big.
That's a daddy gap. Like a generational gap like.
Yes, that's a daddy gap. And I told her I said look, he's
he's a daddy gap. I figured out.
Never heard that term before. I like it, I just.
(11:14):
Came up with that poem that was right off the fucking.
Right off the Dome I love. It right off the Dome because
right now I have a Mama gap going on with one of my Subs and
that's OK, I'm lobby. I'm sorry Mommy Gap has a
totally different image in my head to the Daddy Gap.
Daddy gap. I'm thinking like this is where
the older generation that like went to the gap store when they
(11:34):
become dads this is where they go to shop Mommy gap.
Thinking about their gap in between the.
Legs. Yeah, instead of JJ.
Oh my. God go straight to such a man.
I'm talking gap in age you fucking crap.
Not the God damn gap story either, or fucking pussy.
Oh, I just want to fall into thegap.
(11:56):
Please let me do. It oh the double teaming me I
love. It.
Fantasies become reality. But.
I'm so sorry. Anyway, back to the daddy gap.
My sister really loved the concept of wanting to have an
(12:17):
older man objectifier and he did.
He was just like grabbing her ass and pulling up her skirt and
treating her like a little girl dirty whore.
And I was like, oh, you know, I was like, oh God, you know, you
don't want to see your older sister that way because I want
the empowered bitch that I know,like fucking bitch.
(12:37):
Put him in a skydam place. Don't let this old man grope
you. It's gross.
And he's not even attractive. Like give me a sexy older man.
Let. Let's think of a silver fox.
Silver. Fox Fuck yeah.
He's not even that. I don't think he's that old.
Actually, he's in his. 60s, right?
I mean, for me, that's a big gap.
He's basically, but he's very attractive.
He's a very attractive guy. But then you take somebody I'm
(12:59):
thinking of like a celebrity, like I'm.
I'm just saying. James Brolin, Clint Eastwood.
Oh, God. Sylvester Stallone, you tell me.
Sylvester Stallone wants to fuckGeorge Clooney.
No, fuck George Clooney. It's my I ask you your opinion.
But Sylvester Stallone, trust me, I would.
(13:24):
Fuck, it would be yes. Sylvester Stallone started off
in his career doing a porn called The Italian Stallion
because he has a big monster cock.
So you only like. Him for his Dick?
No, he's a beautiful fucking man.
And you know what else I love about him?
I know he's got to be submissivebecause his mommy was a fucking
cunt to him his entire life. She was horrible to him.
(13:47):
She wished that he would never been born.
Terrible. And he was beautiful.
God, he was beautiful in his 20swith his dark fucking hair.
Sexy ass Italian. I love fucking Italian men.
I don't care their age, he is a gorgeous fucking man.
And anyway, he. Aged well, he.
Goes to the fucking gym. He's still ripped God, and he's
still got that monster cock. I'm sorry, Liv, sorry about
(14:09):
that. But I've never seen the monster
cock I've. Been looking for fucking Italian
Stallion if I ever find that. Man we need to look for that.
Look for a. I'm on the search.
I'm on that. Fucking porn right there.
I'm going to see some Italian Stallion.
Sly Dick. That's what I want.
OK all. Right.
When's your birthday? All right.
Just saying I have a deadline. Couple days before Valentine's.
(14:32):
That's what I want. Italians dead.
Yeah, OK. But anyway, I see my two sisters
and what they want sexually, andit's like, I don't want to, you
know, me, I don't really want toread into people about what they
really like sexually. I really don't.
But it's just a dead giveaway. Like both of them are very much
submissive. And it's like, you know, right.
(14:53):
Because in real life they're fucking bitches.
Like they're mean, bitter, they're fucking bitches and they
want some man, like, take chargeand, you know, do whatever
they're gonna do. That's your sister.
Yes. See.
Yeah. Hang.
On. Yeah.
And she's, like, really hardcore.
I can do whatever what I want. I can beat you up.
(15:14):
Yeah, You know, she's in charge all the time.
But yes, she definitely likes men that will put her in her
place but then doesn't want to be put in her place.
This. Yeah, she's struggling with it
because then you said she was dating these guys and she would
stop having sex with them when she was in a relationship with
them. She was more dating submissive
men then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she likes that
control. But in actuality, she needs an
(15:36):
equal yes, who will pull her fucking hair, ram it in her,
push her face, stop it and tell her to shut the fuck up?
That's my tummy hurt. Hurt because a big Dick is in
it. Ohh I love my life.
(15:57):
Can you blame me? No, no, not at.
All I'm telling you, you get a fucking visual.
It's. Great, I love it.
Lily she gets sends me pictures to show me I guess makes her
feel better to be told she's beautiful when she's in sexy
poses and I don't mind it. I love editing her pictures for
her, but I'm thinking about those pictures when you said
that. They're like, now you know, now
(16:18):
you know. She wants a Dom male.
Oh yeah, I know she does. But she can't because she wants
the control too. She wants the control too, yeah.
Wants her cake. Need it too.
So someone that we know, she asked me yesterday to really go
into analyzing her yes, naming nameless and my thing of it is
again, I don't like analyzing people, but she insisted no, I
(16:40):
don't. I like analyzing my friends like
that, you know, unless they really unless they ask me PO
seriously. And so I broke it down for did I
not you? Did a beautiful job.
OK, so I also broke something else down for someone else.
He grew up with an extremely physically abusive father.
We're just gonna say pink panties, OK?
Pink panties, yes. So pink panties, OK?
(17:03):
Pink panties I get the pink Panthers long stuck in my head.
I got such a little boy thought he can't when he hears pink
panties he thinks of Pink Panther, not actual a person in
fucking pink panties. I.
Am a little you. Are.
Teapot. But I'm tall and stout.
(17:24):
But anyway, so pink panties, he asked me to analyze them.
He's like, you know, you're always on the podcast, you
analyze people. I said, let's break this down.
I said, OK, well, here's the thing.
When I ever meet anybody who hashad a physical abusive father,
they always want to do a scene where you make them cry, OK?
And it wasn't him. I would.
I'll get them to that point. He will get there.
(17:46):
Trust me about that. We can come back to that.
OK, which part? The making you cry in the scene.
The making you cry in the scene.OK, so years ago, I had this
this one gentleman came and he said that he literally watched
his father kill his mother and it devastated him.
And he cried so much that he never could cry again.
(18:06):
He couldn't save her. He couldn't do anything.
But he watched the 11 years of his life.
He watched his father abuse his mother.
And he was always, you know, he was the little kid, He was the
runt. He couldn't do anything.
He couldn't fight dad off. And if he did, dad would beat
the fuck out of him. And on and on and on.
And So what did he do? Now that he's an adult, he comes
(18:27):
to the dungeon. He wants to be beat so bad that
he wants me to make him cry. And I would get him to that
point and I would punch him and I would hurt him and I would say
fucking cry your fucking weak little pussy.
And that's what did it. He wants to feel like his
mother. He wants to be stepping into his
mother's shoes, right? No, what he wanted, he wanted to
(18:47):
be punished because he couldn't save his mother.
OK, you feel that, right? And so now he goes to troubled
women who are troubled women in like, bad work environments,
like strippers or prostitutes. And he wants to save them
because he was never able to save his mother.
And so here he ends up going to a Hell's Angels bar in
(19:09):
California and he walks in and, you know, they share their
women. That's how that shit works.
This woman was getting fucked ina bar with these bikers, and he
goes in and he's in the militaryand he wants to save her.
And I'm like, dude, they don't want to be saved when they're
like that. They have the choice to leave at
some point. They can get away at some point.
(19:32):
I mean, I've not been about it. Well, yeah, I can say I had an
abusive first husband. You know, I can fall back on
that. But I'm not using it as an
excuse. I'm just saying there's a point
where enough is enough and you can only take so much.
I said you cannot save anybody. I said your mother was in a
situation maybe she didn't have support from her family.
Maybe she didn't have, you know,love and support.
(19:52):
She didn't have something, but there was something in her mind
where she continued to stay withyour father.
You can never change that. You can never go back.
So that was that situation. He wanted to cry.
He wanted to be punished for notsaving her.
Now pink panties was more or less he was given a silver
spoon. He had a very elaborate.
(20:15):
Wealthy life growing up as a kidand his dad again beat the fuck
out of him. He got punished, none of his
siblings got punished, so forth so on.
All the siblings, all girls. So a lot of times when boys grow
up and they watch their sisters get treated like little ladies
and they get treated better, they're more apt to as adult
(20:39):
men, thinking that if they're feminized, they'll get the
treatment and the love and the acceptance they never got as a
little boy. So that's what happens there.
Interesting. Then at the same time he was
seeking refuge and I told him heloves to wear thongs, loves to
wear thongs. And I said, I'm going to tell
(21:00):
you that between the ages of 8 to 14, primarily 8 to 12, we
develop a sexual drive. We see things in a sexual way.
At some point, I said, in our environment and how we're raised
and what we're around, people were around structures that into
how we become adults and what we're sexually turned on by.
(21:21):
I said, So with your father being abusive, your mother
condoning it, ultimately, at some point you had to have worn
her panties or something of hersthat was feminine.
You felt that fabric against your skin.
You felt the intimacy, the closeness with your mother that
you weren't getting as a child, and you sought refuge and
wearing her clothes. He paused.
(21:42):
And he thought, He thought at some point I didn't know what
the fuck I was talking about because why should I break this
apart? And his response was, yeah, when
I was 8 years old, I started wearing my mom's thongs because
that's what I did, right? And I'm like, yeah, because your
mother was not there emotionallyfor you.
And when you have a neglectful mother who does not emotionally
support their children, that's what you get.
(22:04):
You get some type of adverse effect for when they're adults.
And this is what they do. And then I also said to him, he
has the whole cuck fantasy that he will be in a relationship, he
will be deprived of sex because in his mind, he's not good
enough for sex. He's not good enough for that
level of intimacy he had. He thinks lowly of himself.
(22:26):
Now he projects otherwise. But I can see right through
that. That's a mask.
It's a total mask. He doesn't want to get anything
for himself. He doesn't want to look the
best. He can look more or less.
Everything's kind of a routine for him because I've seen him in
like in the same outfits and they're very few and far
between. So I'm like, he's not
(22:47):
materialistic. Therefore he doesn't think he's
good enough to to get nice things for himself.
Like he doesn't work alone. It's just like little things
like that that you see in a person.
And he had a beard for many years.
And I always say, and this is not directed at you PO, you do a
lot of fashionable things. You're very in tune with
(23:07):
yourself and you like to change things up.
You have, you have the look on your face like you like, because
you're very consistent with keeping your hair up and your
facial hair up and that kind of thing.
But men that have beards that don't keep up their beards
right, that don't maintain themselves like they should,
they're hiding. They're hiding behind that beard
and it is a mask for them. No, that's a total mask.
(23:29):
It's a total mask. Bore mine for many years and
that's, you know, that's what itwas.
It wasn't until I started hanging around 2 beautiful
ladies that you know, I was likeshow myself, get my stuff
looking good and you know, make it where they actually maybe
want to, you know, they'll get me and hang out with me.
You're pretty now. I said pretty.
But I think that a lot of peoplethat listen to the podcast, I
(23:52):
think a lot of people, whether it's cross dressers or whomever
in the lifestyle, I think they never want to really address why
they are who they are. And that is okay.
If they don't feel like they cancome and step to the mic, for
example, to really feel who theyare, then they're not ready,
right? But pink panties has a long way
to go. And at this point, he to me and
(24:14):
I told him, I said, you are inferior to other men.
He's like, no, I respect man. I said yes, because again, you
think you're beneath a lot of men.
That is why you want to use someone like a girlfriend as a
person that you can live vicariously through that they're
the ones getting fucked when youcan't have it.
And, and I bent him over fingering his ass.
(24:36):
I'm doing these things. And let me tell you, he was so
resistant to getting milk, to getting his prostate milk.
He fucking loved it. He was shaking.
He was shaking. But in his mind he's thinking,
I'm, I'm fucking liking this shit too much.
Am I fucking bisexual? Am I gay like he was?
He's like, please don't, please don't, mistress, please don't.
(24:57):
And I'm like, you really fuckingwant it.
I know you do. And it's OK because this is
without judgement, right? I'm, I'm getting you through
this. I want him to get through this
journey right and breakthrough. But he has made excuses for his
father and he talks about how much he accepts him and that
he's forgiven him. And then it's over.
And that's what we do. We do that.
(25:18):
And I hate to use the word victim, but when we're
victimized or terrorized by our parents at some point, that is
what we do as an adult, We excuse it.
That's what we do. I never did.
Yeah, but I'm saying you're alsonot in denial of who you are.
You've you've come to light withwho you are.
But it's people like poor Pink Panties who is seriously still
in denial about who he is, what he wants.
(25:39):
Right, I know I, you know, have defended, you know, my mom and
like, but it's not AI don't see what she did as being correct
and being OK. It's just that was part of my
process to be able to accept andto go.
I've been carrying this feeling forever and I'm just tired of it
and I don't you, you did something be it I felt a certain
(26:01):
way because I'm allowing myself to carry that.
That was just much easier at some point to go.
We're all human. We all make mistakes.
Sucks that it happened then, butit happened and you're not the
same person now. I see the way you treat the
grandkids. I see the way you treat other
people. You know, if you're great to my
grandparents that you know, livewith it like but you know, but
sometimes you know, you do have to eventually just go.
(26:21):
I'm tired of that burdensome. Head substance, we carry the
weight and we're forced to be the one that have forgive yes,
and that's one thing to face your own feelings in it because
usually you're suppressing suppressing once you finally
feel yes, letting them all out. That's a lot on a person.
And so it's just unfair that we have to go through not only the
problem and the victimizing and then the finally the releasing
(26:43):
of it. They don't go through nothing.
They go through nothing. Actually, sometimes they don't
even have guilt towards it and you still have to forgive them.
When they don't have guilt, you're just like, why?
Because. Selfish people do selfish
things. That's what happens.
And I'm at the point where I'm like, I doubt I'll ever even
confront the subject with her. I don't think she will ever be
able to acknowledge, accept it, acknowledge it and go.
And if she does, it would be in a, a strange way, you know, to
(27:07):
just where. Yeah.
And so it's just like, no, I don't.
I don't. I don't need to put myself
through that either. Then that's just going to give
me more of that guilt. Yeah.
And then it's going to do. I like the way you know that
everything is now. You know, they they are the
reason why they are because of their parents.
So can you really fault fault them?
And then what about their parents?
How are they? Why were they treated like that?
It's just like a never ending story.
(27:28):
It's like, who is the bad guy? Yeah, it's all a cycle.
Who? Is the bad guy.
Generational curses. Yes, but that's when Poe is
going to stop the cycle. That's exactly it.
That's it. Poe's gonna stop the.
Cycle. You're starting a whole new
cycle of something else. No, you're stopping the cycle
because you're being the best mom you can be.
I know they're saying. What I have changed might be its
(27:49):
own trauma in itself. OK.
Like they were so strict on me that maybe I'm not strict
enough, you know, like, you know, you go back, you know.
So it's like, am I hurting them just in a different way?
I overthink though, so to be. No, it's a very fair, you know,
question analogy to kind of poseto yourself and go, OK, where is
that line? I don't want to be this person,
(28:09):
but I also don't want to be way down here, but let you.
So yeah, it's a very fine line to walk and.
If you coddle them and cater to them with material things and
baby the shit out of them then they're going to be baby
bitches. You know, or just plan out
bitches and expect things from people and then they haven't,
they don't work towards anything.
They don't try to earn anything.They just want it.
(28:31):
And that's the obstacle word is when you give them yes, they can
earn something, they can work towards a goal.
You can reward that behavior. You know, that's just positive
reinforcement. That should be every parent's
ultimate goal. Yeah.
So one of my friends, they are in the medical field.
She's a doctor, right? And she has raised two boys, two
(28:54):
boys that she did not raise as men.
They have both finished college.They're twins.
They want to be doctors, but honestly, they're fucking
bitches. These boys are big, overweight
Mama's boys won't do their fucking laundry.
Mama either pays for them to gettheir laundry done.
They don't have to work. That's a lot of weight for her
to hold, too. Oh well, she's a doctor, she can
(29:15):
afford it. I'm just saying, like to hold
that weight as a mother that you've grown kids, you have to
still take care of them. That's a lot.
Oh, she don't care though. She likes to say.
She may have that savior complex.
Dude. It's like I get to step in and
save the day. Yeah, and she's a fucking
enabler, and that's what she is.And it's like when I, I'm
looking at her and I was like, you realize what you're doing.
(29:38):
You're not raising men, you're raising manchild that these
manchild people are not going tohave productive lives and
marriages. That's the trauma of herself.
She needs somebody to constantlybe around and needing her.
But it's her children and it's men children.
Yes, she's hindering. She doesn't want them to leave
and go to another wife like she did that.
That's a trauma on her and it's affecting now her kids.
(30:00):
That's a good observation. Yes, and so parents.
Bottom line, they fuck. Every single generation.
Have you seen the new generationcoming out?
Oh my God, I'm over. Jesus Christ.
Yes, coddled if we ever went into war.
We're doomed. We are doomed.
And you said? I'm serious.
(30:22):
No, you all had to be like, oh, your oldest child has to go in.
We're all doomed. Yeah.
The oldest one is always a little bit weird, like a
pancake. Your first pancake's always a
little weird. OK.
Thank you for for because I was going near the pancakes, but
it's. Not fluffy.
Yeah, no, it's not cooked all the burger all the way it's.
Burnt a little bit in one spot. It's not.
(30:44):
White circle. I like the analogy.
All right, so don't raise a pancake.
Don't raise a pancake was the ass pancake.
Oh, my goodness. That's been exciting.
But yeah, you know, it's interesting to analyze people.
Bottom line now, PO, I will say that I had an adult baby years
ago that came in his mother was in the lifestyle.
(31:06):
I knew his mother. I met her a couple times.
Not I wasn't associated with herin any way.
But they end up coming to the same party.
They realized this because they both signed up.
They both found each other's fatlife.
He made sure that he was in the far corner of the yard and she
was pretty much in the main house the whole night.
That's still weird. It's still fucking weird.
Bottom line, he comes for a session and he is an adult baby.
(31:28):
OK. And immediately I've had so many
adult babies say to me, oh, it was nothing about my mom.
And I'm like, motherfucker, can you look to your left one more
time and lie to me that it wasn't Mama that created this?
And so when I met his mother, I automatically new she is a
selfish fucking cunt right who did not emotionally support her
(31:50):
child. Boom.
And now you got somebody who is an adult baby and not that it's
a bad thing. No at all.
No, it's not. Period.
But I think it is important thatyou do analyze yourself and try
and figure out why you are that way and then.
And I told him. That you can't accept yourself
and you can't accept the behavior, and you're always
going to think it's taboo and it's so weird.
Yes. Once I figure it out, that's
(32:10):
whenever I was able to go. I'm cool.
Yeah. Usually one of the people around
you to accept you. Yeah.
You really want it to be like your family.
You do, but. Family blood is not always
thicker. No, but my thing of it is, and
you know, we talked about this on on a previous episode, we're
talking about what draws you to Reese Witherspoon just look like
your mom. You know, we go back and forth
with these things, right, because of the way our brain
(32:31):
works. And I know you're very
analytical. So it's nothing like, you know,
personal attack. However, this kid, I told him, I
said, look, if you're going to be like a Norman Bates and still
going to want the love and support of your Mama that you
will never get because she's a straight up hoe in the
community. Oh, there's no way that you're
(32:52):
not going to be able to you're ever going to really be able to
connect with your mother just because I've met her.
I'm she's a very self-centered person.
It's very difficult to even gauge with her at all because
she thought she was holier than thou.
It's like, OK bitch, I get it, you're attractive.
Shut the fuck up. She had one child If you're if.
You're not attractive on the inside, it don't fucking matter.
(33:13):
It doesn't matter, you'll never curse.
I love it when you do. You know that word.
She has a point. Exactly.
But but yeah, but we've had manyadult babies and they'll
automatically say, well, it's nothing.
My mom did. I'm like OK.
It's an attention thing. Yes, it is.
And I, you need to be nurtured, didn't understand that further
(33:36):
law. And I understand the nurturing
part, but it is the I am the sole thing that you have to pay
attention to. Because you're a little not,
yeah. Right.
And you have to. Take care of me, yeah.
I can't be in danger. Of mess there's a lot of things
that but. Mothers take care of their
children like that. That is a mother thing that you
would be searching for, right? Right.
I mean there are people that search for daddies.
I mean, I think it's all according to, you know, if
(33:58):
you're say that you know, the mom passed away and it's a
single dad and he does a, you know, a great job and he's got
this basically the same thing that, you know, the moms have to
do, which is they have to go outand get a full time job.
They can't. So I could see I could see it
being, you know, a daddy thing as well.
Like I said, mine left when I was four years old.
So I can't help but go, well, it's probably not all just mom
(34:19):
thing. It was a OK, they chose to push
me out. Therefore I no longer had their
attention because they chose notto pay attention to me.
So there's a lot of things that I've kind of analyzed to go, OK,
it's now I didn't do anything wrong.
No, you didn't. Therefore, I have nothing to
feel bad about, which is the reason why I can accept being a
yeah being a little being an adult baby because not hurting
(34:39):
anybody. I'm not hurting, you know, not
at all anything out there. But again, I didn't do anything
wrong. Therefore, why should I feel
guilty for, yeah, bad or guilty that, you know, that I
participate in that lifestyle and then I'm not ashamed.
Yeah, I think it's great. I really do.
I think adult baby, I think it'sbadass.
I think I like the kink. I think it's cool.
Liv and I really were into it. I am actually gotten really into
(35:00):
the sissification too, but this not the humiliation
sissification. But this is you don't like the
humiliation aspect at all. I get it.
Yeah, but I really like, I've been really starting to dig the
Sissy sissies because I feel like I can kind of understand
it. When I understand it is whenever
I start like enjoying it. I know what you need.
Now you can understand why. Yes, yes.
But you know what ABDL? Well, it's more or less direct.
(35:21):
This is the direct. There's no black and white.
It's like this is what I like. It's either a diaper fetish
whereas the sisification. It's all over the place.
It's fucking all over the place is right.
It's like, OK, we can sisify you, OK?
Do you want to be a cook? Oh, no, you just want to suck
Dick. Oh, do you want to be a trans?
Is this the crossing over to it?I mean, there's so many fucking
(35:44):
levels to it. And I must admit, whenever you
were talking about the adult baby that wants, that's a guy
that wants to be a girl, that's where there's two morphs.
And I was like, yes, I want to know the psychology behind that
because like you said, this world is very direct.
This is very that's what I want.This one is like he's.
Been around a baby girl that gotup a lot of a lot of attention.
Is that that's what it comes down to?
(36:04):
What it is because his daughter OK.
And he was probably raised sincethe only child, and again,
probably raised as the only child, sees that his wife gave a
lot of attention to his daughter.
He was already a cross dresser because he probably had, again,
a shitty fucking mother, OK. So he was already a trans.
It was. Already a.
Cross. Dresser.
Well, it wasn't a cross dresser,it was a baby.
(36:25):
So that that's where I'm trying to figure out OK but.
He wanted to be a cross dresser as a woman, but he still wanted
to be a baby. He still wanted to be a kid.
He already had. He already wanted.
To be a baby, he wasn't a little.
Right, so but he already had thebaby fetish or the ABDL fest and
then. It probably translated into
that, but I don't know. I didn't really dig into he
didn't dig into that further with him.
Well, yeah, because the what I got from him wasn't a little.
(36:48):
It was still he wanted to be a baby, but he still wanted to be
a girl, right. So he still wanted to be
feminized. And to me, feminization goes
back to not having that emotional connection with your
mother. But the whole thing with the
baby again, is it the mother? Is it the Father you?
Know the. Wife.
Is it the wife? Yeah.
And maybe he was just closeted his whole time and he was like,
Oh well, I'm doing the AVDL. That may be a little easier
(37:10):
transition in his head to be a female baby versus saying I want
to wear high heels and V dress and do the makeup I could.
I could see that actually being it's baby steps.
Baby steps. So cute.
Yeah. We need another episode just of
talking about cross dressing because I've.
I've got some crazy stories. Liv's got some crazy stories.
(37:30):
I mean, we can really get in depth about that.
But we need to wrap it up, kids.We ready.
All right, So until then, this has been the latest episode of.
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia. We've got with me, Madam Liv.
Morning. Good morning, Liv.
How are you? Better are you?
Better. I hope so.
What a base, I love it. On them drugs and that's
supposed to be on. They weren't making beer.
(00:28):
Chip, Chip Cheerio. They were not making her field
chip chip, nothing, no. That was I was really opposite.
That was Chip chipping away poorMadam Liv.
All right. And we got over in the left
corner. Poop, poop, poop, poop.
Little poop. Hiya folks.
Well guys, we have had an exciting weekend.
(00:51):
We had 4th of July and now we'regoing into the second week of
July. Where is the summer gone?
This summer have fucking just vanished.
It has slipped away. I don't like it.
I don't know either. It's gone way too fast.
When you get older, time feels like that.
The year passes so fast. I don't know, my summers usually
(01:12):
go pretty darn slow because I'm not doing a whole lot.
I guess it's 'cause you're. Having fun.
That's exactly what it is. Party hard.
You'll stop being so fun so it slows down.
God, in that the tree. Sometimes.
Even when you are boring, you are fun.
Come on. All right, think about this.
What was probably your fun year?Your, your absolute best year,
(01:34):
you think in your life stuff so far?
I mean, we're, we're in our 30s forties now.
Let's think about that. I can honestly say when I was
21, I probably did so much that year that it was insane.
I was, I was doing 2 jobs. I was going out every night of
the week when there wasn't something to do.
I was still trying to do something that night like it was
(01:56):
rarely and I I ever stayed at home.
Last year, because I've been hindranced when I was younger, I
didn't move out until I was 17 or I moved out early 17 and then
got married right after. Never go out.
Like he was very conservative. And then when we, yeah, when we
get finally got, you know, separated and divorced two years
in, the first year was rough. For the second year I was doing
(02:17):
whatever I wanted and it was really nice to just finally let
it go. So he's last year.
Yeah. I love my childhood, like bits
and pieces of it, like going around the block, playing
basketball, riding my scooter, like I liked all that.
Mr. Kool-aid Pillows. Yeah.
That's why I found that that bulb, you know I never let go.
(02:45):
PO what do you say is your best year?
I'm not trying to be a kiss ass here, but it's definitely been
this year. Wow, that's.
Great. There's something about being
amongst like minded people and what's that?
The mind, freedom. It is it is and just being able
to be your true authentic self, not having a mask constantly not
try to make up excuses for you know, I can't do that because
(03:10):
I'm going to a dungeon and gonnaget beat.
You know something that nature it's a little hard to explain to
you vanilla friends that so you have to wind up, you know,
making up some halfway truths. And so like I said, this year is
been forget awesome. I'm glad I learned a lot about
myself. I'm glad we're glad we met you.
Very. And don't vanilla friends just
suck? Yeah, I really is how boring
they are. Really and truly.
Like you have a stale life. See, I don't, I, I don't even
(03:32):
mind like if they're vanilla andtheir behavior, it's when they
have vanilla like judgements, ifthat makes sense.
Like I you don't have to be intothe same thing that I'm into,
but you can't listen to my story.
And if you're not like you can find something to laugh about.
You can find something to find joy in it and like, and, but
when they're just like, I only want to hear that, Oh, that,
(03:53):
that's just great. It's just like.
My sister. Doesn't want to hear open your
perspective a little bit becauseI'm not asking you to join in.
I'm just want to tell you my experience and part of my life
story. I know, Liv.
I had, I had asked you somethingone day and you you called me
and you were like, yeah, you know, I tried to talk to my
sister and try to tell her aboutmy really cool scene, but she
(04:16):
didn't want to hear it. She called me gross.
I was like, damn, fuck her. Yeah.
She she said that I gave her an unsolicited Dick pic because I
was showing her sounding and I really am so desensitized by
Dick that I didn't think that was a bad thing.
I thought she was upset that I sent her a picture of a rod
inside of a Dick. OK, but she was like, no,
Christina, you just sent me an unsolicited Dick pic.
I was like, ohh, I forgot that. That's like a no no.
(04:41):
I didn't even see a Dick, I justsaw her rod in something.
Yeah, I wasn't even thinking that way, but she knows what I
do, so I just didn't think it was that big of a deal.
And we send each other our boyfriends Dicks.
Like, look how big? That's what.
I well obviously she solicited to that one.
Yeah, I'm saying it's it's so it's selective, I guess.
Yeah, selective on her Dicks. You know, it's a part of the
(05:04):
human anatomy. Yeah, but when you stick needles
and rods through it, you know but.
She's not even that interested in sex.
So, like, what the fuck does it matter?
Yeah, my sister, my eldest sister.
I I will tell you, she used to. And she's been married to her
gay husband still to this day for almost 40 years.
And they used to have a set day every week on a Tuesday to have
(05:29):
sex. And that was it.
They both worked, you know, numerous jobs.
They raised, you know, five children together.
They had a very full, active life.
However, it should have been an indicator that he was a very
sterile, clean man and that he wanted sex only one night a
week. Right?
OK, that is. Gay.
(05:50):
If she should have realized thatmy thing of it is I have tried
to have a conversation with her because she feels it necessary
to kiss ass to my aunt and tell my aunt on some level what she
thinks I do right. And my aunt is highly religious,
my sister is highly religious and it's always fucking
religion. And it's just, it's mind numbing
(06:14):
like nobody gives a fuck. I really I don't care.
But at the end of the day, when they both have called me to
criticize me about what they think I do right, they
automatically think that I'm just this horrible person on so
many levels. But interested of your job.
Yes. That's so weird.
It is, and the fact that I talk about it on the podcast.
(06:35):
Yeah, no, I've I've. Just to each their own, you
know, if you're as long as you're not hurting yourself or
nobody else, why does it? Matter.
Why isn't? It it's just the misconceptions
that people have like they think, Oh, don't like having
you're going there. Well, like, for example, if
they're very, you know, religious, they automatically
think, Oh, that that has something to do with the devil.
Or I mean, like, I, I've heard it so many times and to the
(06:56):
point where I just go, I don't know, maybe it's the, you know,
the, yeah, the worst, best choice you'll ever make, you
know, highway to hell, babe. You know, I don't, I don't know
what to, what to tell you. Because when they have that
exactly, they have that mindset,there's nothing that I can say
to to alter that mindset. So I don't even really know why
(07:17):
they're telling me their mindsetat that point.
Because you know, you're not wanting to have a conversation
and to look at it from my point,even though I will have the
conversation and I can look at it from your point, you're not
going to give me the same courtesy.
But why even have that conversation?
That's why I only like understanding people.
You don't have to be part of thedungeon, but you can be
understanding it. Sure.
What's the word? You know, caring.
Or like what's compassionate? Compassionate.
(07:39):
Empathetic. Yeah.
Yeah, compassion to other peopleand their feelings.
Just well, interestingly enough,we'd all gone out to dinner.
Liv was there, everybody was there.
My eldest sister actually listened to me tell my niece, my
eldest niece about specifically two people that I've seen in the
dungeon. And I was like 1 was very much
suicidal before we met. That's it.
(08:00):
He had a very difficult life andyou know, he wants to cross
dress and it was not accepted byhis wife.
This is something, you know, I've, I've known, I've helped
him. It's been many years that he's
continue to see me. And so that doesn't make me a
bad person at all. And then there was another
gentleman. I, I told her, I said, you will
not think that you know the guy next door or the uncle or your
(08:23):
boss or people who are really like into BDSM and they had this
kink. You'd never think that they were
a crossdresser or they were in into spanking or it's just
something, something specific I said because everybody's into
something I said. It doesn't make them a bad
person. And believe it or not, my eldest
sister was actually sitting there intently, listening
(08:44):
intently. It's crazy.
And I told my niece, I said, youknow, I got the nicest e-mail a
few months ago. And I said it was very direct to
say, hey, Mia, I really, truly appreciate everything you've
ever done for me. I love you.
You're the best. You don't believe.
You won't believe how much this has helped me in my life.
We get emails like that all. The time, all the time.
(09:05):
I've sent a few of those emails so.
You will PO. You will because you guide
people through the fact that you've come here, you opened
yourself up, you talk about being an adult baby freely and
comfortably so and then you've talked about being Master Viper,
just changing it up and. Being you did that beautifully,
(09:27):
you did. I really appreciate that you
helped a lot too, because I, I was feeding off of your energy,
you know, as we were going through it and I was of course
feeding off of. Everybody in the room.
Sage is energy, you know, I justall the energy that was going
through there and like I said it, it just made for a beautiful
team. Honestly, I couldn't believe how
well it went, but I do know whenI went home, God, I was high
(09:49):
like hours high like no drug could touch that high.
That's a good that's a good day Tater.
You got lost and your thought was great.
It's great. Now, interestingly enough, a few
years back, my other sister, nowI have two sisters, but my other
sister moved in. She'd gone through a terrible
(10:09):
divorce and she'd really struggled with a lot because
ultimately I knew the relationship that she had with
her, with her husband and he wasvery much kind of like he would
top her. And I think really he's more of
submissive and more or less wants to be objectified in the
fact that she's very much submissive.
And I didn't really want to see it because with me, I like to be
(10:32):
surrounded by women who want to be dominant.
Females find empowerment. But I should have known because
in real life, my sister is a bitch.
She's a miserable bitch at times.
And in turn, I love her. It doesn't change anything,
right? But I saw her at a party.
She came to a party and she was one of your parties, Yes.
(10:53):
And she was dating a very much much older man who was almost
70, and my sister at the time was probably 50.
OK, that's a. That's a big.
That's a daddy gap. Like a generational gap like.
Yes, that's a daddy gap. And I told her I said look, he's
he's a daddy gap. I figured out.
Never heard that term before. I like it, I just.
(11:14):
Came up with that poem that was right off the fucking.
Right off the Dome I love. It right off the Dome because
right now I have a Mama gap going on with one of my Subs and
that's OK, I'm lobby. I'm sorry Mommy Gap has a
totally different image in my head to the Daddy Gap.
Daddy gap. I'm thinking like this is where
the older generation that like went to the gap store when they
(11:34):
become dads this is where they go to shop Mommy gap.
Thinking about their gap in between the.
Legs. Yeah, instead of JJ.
Oh my. God go straight to such a man.
I'm talking gap in age you fucking crap.
Not the God damn gap story either, or fucking pussy.
Oh, I just want to fall into thegap.
(11:56):
Please let me do. It oh the double teaming me I
love. It.
Fantasies become reality. But.
I'm so sorry. Anyway, back to the daddy gap.
My sister really loved the concept of wanting to have an
(12:17):
older man objectifier and he did.
He was just like grabbing her ass and pulling up her skirt and
treating her like a little girl dirty whore.
And I was like, oh, you know, I was like, oh God, you know, you
don't want to see your older sister that way because I want
the empowered bitch that I know,like fucking bitch.
(12:37):
Put him in a skydam place. Don't let this old man grope
you. It's gross.
And he's not even attractive. Like give me a sexy older man.
Let. Let's think of a silver fox.
Silver. Fox Fuck yeah.
He's not even that. I don't think he's that old.
Actually, he's in his. 60s, right?
I mean, for me, that's a big gap.
He's basically, but he's very attractive.
He's a very attractive guy. But then you take somebody I'm
(12:59):
thinking of like a celebrity, like I'm.
I'm just saying. James Brolin, Clint Eastwood.
Oh, God. Sylvester Stallone, you tell me.
Sylvester Stallone wants to fuckGeorge Clooney.
No, fuck George Clooney. It's my I ask you your opinion.
But Sylvester Stallone, trust me, I would.
(13:24):
Fuck, it would be yes. Sylvester Stallone started off
in his career doing a porn called The Italian Stallion
because he has a big monster cock.
So you only like. Him for his Dick?
No, he's a beautiful fucking man.
And you know what else I love about him?
I know he's got to be submissivebecause his mommy was a fucking
cunt to him his entire life. She was horrible to him.
(13:47):
She wished that he would never been born.
Terrible. And he was beautiful.
God, he was beautiful in his 20swith his dark fucking hair.
Sexy ass Italian. I love fucking Italian men.
I don't care their age, he is a gorgeous fucking man.
And anyway, he. Aged well, he.
Goes to the fucking gym. He's still ripped God, and he's
still got that monster cock. I'm sorry, Liv, sorry about
(14:09):
that. But I've never seen the monster
cock I've. Been looking for fucking Italian
Stallion if I ever find that. Man we need to look for that.
Look for a. I'm on the search.
I'm on that. Fucking porn right there.
I'm going to see some Italian Stallion.
Sly Dick. That's what I want.
OK all. Right.
When's your birthday? All right.
Just saying I have a deadline. Couple days before Valentine's.
(14:32):
That's what I want. Italians dead.
Yeah, OK. But anyway, I see my two sisters
and what they want sexually, andit's like, I don't want to, you
know, me, I don't really want toread into people about what they
really like sexually. I really don't.
But it's just a dead giveaway. Like both of them are very much
submissive. And it's like, you know, right.
(14:53):
Because in real life they're fucking bitches.
Like they're mean, bitter, they're fucking bitches and they
want some man, like, take chargeand, you know, do whatever
they're gonna do. That's your sister.
Yes. See.
Yeah. Hang.
On. Yeah.
And she's, like, really hardcore.
I can do whatever what I want. I can beat you up.
(15:14):
Yeah, You know, she's in charge all the time.
But yes, she definitely likes men that will put her in her
place but then doesn't want to be put in her place.
This. Yeah, she's struggling with it
because then you said she was dating these guys and she would
stop having sex with them when she was in a relationship with
them. She was more dating submissive
men then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she likes that
control. But in actuality, she needs an
(15:36):
equal yes, who will pull her fucking hair, ram it in her,
push her face, stop it and tell her to shut the fuck up?
That's my tummy hurt. Hurt because a big Dick is in
it. Ohh I love my life.
(15:57):
Can you blame me? No, no, not at.
All I'm telling you, you get a fucking visual.
It's. Great, I love it.
Lily she gets sends me pictures to show me I guess makes her
feel better to be told she's beautiful when she's in sexy
poses and I don't mind it. I love editing her pictures for
her, but I'm thinking about those pictures when you said
that. They're like, now you know, now
(16:18):
you know. She wants a Dom male.
Oh yeah, I know she does. But she can't because she wants
the control too. She wants the control too, yeah.
Wants her cake. Need it too.
So someone that we know, she asked me yesterday to really go
into analyzing her yes, naming nameless and my thing of it is
again, I don't like analyzing people, but she insisted no, I
(16:40):
don't. I like analyzing my friends like
that, you know, unless they really unless they ask me PO
seriously. And so I broke it down for did I
not you? Did a beautiful job.
OK, so I also broke something else down for someone else.
He grew up with an extremely physically abusive father.
We're just gonna say pink panties, OK?
Pink panties, yes. So pink panties, OK?
(17:03):
Pink panties I get the pink Panthers long stuck in my head.
I got such a little boy thought he can't when he hears pink
panties he thinks of Pink Panther, not actual a person in
fucking pink panties. I.
Am a little you. Are.
Teapot. But I'm tall and stout.
(17:24):
But anyway, so pink panties, he asked me to analyze them.
He's like, you know, you're always on the podcast, you
analyze people. I said, let's break this down.
I said, OK, well, here's the thing.
When I ever meet anybody who hashad a physical abusive father,
they always want to do a scene where you make them cry, OK?
And it wasn't him. I would.
I'll get them to that point. He will get there.
(17:46):
Trust me about that. We can come back to that.
OK, which part? The making you cry in the scene.
The making you cry in the scene.OK, so years ago, I had this
this one gentleman came and he said that he literally watched
his father kill his mother and it devastated him.
And he cried so much that he never could cry again.
(18:06):
He couldn't save her. He couldn't do anything.
But he watched the 11 years of his life.
He watched his father abuse his mother.
And he was always, you know, he was the little kid, He was the
runt. He couldn't do anything.
He couldn't fight dad off. And if he did, dad would beat
the fuck out of him. And on and on and on.
And So what did he do? Now that he's an adult, he comes
(18:27):
to the dungeon. He wants to be beat so bad that
he wants me to make him cry. And I would get him to that
point and I would punch him and I would hurt him and I would say
fucking cry your fucking weak little pussy.
And that's what did it. He wants to feel like his
mother. He wants to be stepping into his
mother's shoes, right? No, what he wanted, he wanted to
(18:47):
be punished because he couldn't save his mother.
OK, you feel that, right? And so now he goes to troubled
women who are troubled women in like, bad work environments,
like strippers or prostitutes. And he wants to save them
because he was never able to save his mother.
And so here he ends up going to a Hell's Angels bar in
(19:09):
California and he walks in and, you know, they share their
women. That's how that shit works.
This woman was getting fucked ina bar with these bikers, and he
goes in and he's in the militaryand he wants to save her.
And I'm like, dude, they don't want to be saved when they're
like that. They have the choice to leave at
some point. They can get away at some point.
(19:32):
I mean, I've not been about it. Well, yeah, I can say I had an
abusive first husband. You know, I can fall back on
that. But I'm not using it as an
excuse. I'm just saying there's a point
where enough is enough and you can only take so much.
I said you cannot save anybody. I said your mother was in a
situation maybe she didn't have support from her family.
Maybe she didn't have, you know,love and support.
(19:52):
She didn't have something, but there was something in her mind
where she continued to stay withyour father.
You can never change that. You can never go back.
So that was that situation. He wanted to cry.
He wanted to be punished for notsaving her.
Now pink panties was more or less he was given a silver
spoon. He had a very elaborate.
(20:15):
Wealthy life growing up as a kidand his dad again beat the fuck
out of him. He got punished, none of his
siblings got punished, so forth so on.
All the siblings, all girls. So a lot of times when boys grow
up and they watch their sisters get treated like little ladies
and they get treated better, they're more apt to as adult
(20:39):
men, thinking that if they're feminized, they'll get the
treatment and the love and the acceptance they never got as a
little boy. So that's what happens there.
Interesting. Then at the same time he was
seeking refuge and I told him heloves to wear thongs, loves to
wear thongs. And I said, I'm going to tell
(21:00):
you that between the ages of 8 to 14, primarily 8 to 12, we
develop a sexual drive. We see things in a sexual way.
At some point, I said, in our environment and how we're raised
and what we're around, people were around structures that into
how we become adults and what we're sexually turned on by.
(21:21):
I said, So with your father being abusive, your mother
condoning it, ultimately, at some point you had to have worn
her panties or something of hersthat was feminine.
You felt that fabric against your skin.
You felt the intimacy, the closeness with your mother that
you weren't getting as a child, and you sought refuge and
wearing her clothes. He paused.
(21:42):
And he thought, He thought at some point I didn't know what
the fuck I was talking about because why should I break this
apart? And his response was, yeah, when
I was 8 years old, I started wearing my mom's thongs because
that's what I did, right? And I'm like, yeah, because your
mother was not there emotionallyfor you.
And when you have a neglectful mother who does not emotionally
support their children, that's what you get.
(22:04):
You get some type of adverse effect for when they're adults.
And this is what they do. And then I also said to him, he
has the whole cuck fantasy that he will be in a relationship, he
will be deprived of sex because in his mind, he's not good
enough for sex. He's not good enough for that
level of intimacy he had. He thinks lowly of himself.
(22:26):
Now he projects otherwise. But I can see right through
that. That's a mask.
It's a total mask. He doesn't want to get anything
for himself. He doesn't want to look the
best. He can look more or less.
Everything's kind of a routine for him because I've seen him in
like in the same outfits and they're very few and far
between. So I'm like, he's not
(22:47):
materialistic. Therefore he doesn't think he's
good enough to to get nice things for himself.
Like he doesn't work alone. It's just like little things
like that that you see in a person.
And he had a beard for many years.
And I always say, and this is not directed at you PO, you do a
lot of fashionable things. You're very in tune with
(23:07):
yourself and you like to change things up.
You have, you have the look on your face like you like, because
you're very consistent with keeping your hair up and your
facial hair up and that kind of thing.
But men that have beards that don't keep up their beards
right, that don't maintain themselves like they should,
they're hiding. They're hiding behind that beard
and it is a mask for them. No, that's a total mask.
(23:29):
It's a total mask. Bore mine for many years and
that's, you know, that's what itwas.
It wasn't until I started hanging around 2 beautiful
ladies that you know, I was likeshow myself, get my stuff
looking good and you know, make it where they actually maybe
want to, you know, they'll get me and hang out with me.
You're pretty now. I said pretty.
But I think that a lot of peoplethat listen to the podcast, I
(23:52):
think a lot of people, whether it's cross dressers or whomever
in the lifestyle, I think they never want to really address why
they are who they are. And that is okay.
If they don't feel like they cancome and step to the mic, for
example, to really feel who theyare, then they're not ready,
right? But pink panties has a long way
to go. And at this point, he to me and
(24:14):
I told him, I said, you are inferior to other men.
He's like, no, I respect man. I said yes, because again, you
think you're beneath a lot of men.
That is why you want to use someone like a girlfriend as a
person that you can live vicariously through that they're
the ones getting fucked when youcan't have it.
And, and I bent him over fingering his ass.
(24:36):
I'm doing these things. And let me tell you, he was so
resistant to getting milk, to getting his prostate milk.
He fucking loved it. He was shaking.
He was shaking. But in his mind he's thinking,
I'm, I'm fucking liking this shit too much.
Am I fucking bisexual? Am I gay like he was?
He's like, please don't, please don't, mistress, please don't.
(24:57):
And I'm like, you really fuckingwant it.
I know you do. And it's OK because this is
without judgement, right? I'm, I'm getting you through
this. I want him to get through this
journey right and breakthrough. But he has made excuses for his
father and he talks about how much he accepts him and that
he's forgiven him. And then it's over.
And that's what we do. We do that.
(25:18):
And I hate to use the word victim, but when we're
victimized or terrorized by our parents at some point, that is
what we do as an adult, We excuse it.
That's what we do. I never did.
Yeah, but I'm saying you're alsonot in denial of who you are.
You've you've come to light withwho you are.
But it's people like poor Pink Panties who is seriously still
in denial about who he is, what he wants.
(25:39):
Right, I know I, you know, have defended, you know, my mom and
like, but it's not AI don't see what she did as being correct
and being OK. It's just that was part of my
process to be able to accept andto go.
I've been carrying this feeling forever and I'm just tired of it
and I don't you, you did something be it I felt a certain
(26:01):
way because I'm allowing myself to carry that.
That was just much easier at some point to go.
We're all human. We all make mistakes.
Sucks that it happened then, butit happened and you're not the
same person now. I see the way you treat the
grandkids. I see the way you treat other
people. You know, if you're great to my
grandparents that you know, livewith it like but you know, but
sometimes you know, you do have to eventually just go.
(26:21):
I'm tired of that burdensome. Head substance, we carry the
weight and we're forced to be the one that have forgive yes,
and that's one thing to face your own feelings in it because
usually you're suppressing suppressing once you finally
feel yes, letting them all out. That's a lot on a person.
And so it's just unfair that we have to go through not only the
problem and the victimizing and then the finally the releasing
(26:43):
of it. They don't go through nothing.
They go through nothing. Actually, sometimes they don't
even have guilt towards it and you still have to forgive them.
When they don't have guilt, you're just like, why?
Because. Selfish people do selfish
things. That's what happens.
And I'm at the point where I'm like, I doubt I'll ever even
confront the subject with her. I don't think she will ever be
able to acknowledge, accept it, acknowledge it and go.
And if she does, it would be in a, a strange way, you know, to
(27:07):
just where. Yeah.
And so it's just like, no, I don't.
I don't. I don't need to put myself
through that either. Then that's just going to give
me more of that guilt. Yeah.
And then it's going to do. I like the way you know that
everything is now. You know, they they are the
reason why they are because of their parents.
So can you really fault fault them?
And then what about their parents?
How are they? Why were they treated like that?
It's just like a never ending story.
(27:28):
It's like, who is the bad guy? Yeah, it's all a cycle.
Who? Is the bad guy.
Generational curses. Yes, but that's when Poe is
going to stop the cycle. That's exactly it.
That's it. Poe's gonna stop the.
Cycle. You're starting a whole new
cycle of something else. No, you're stopping the cycle
because you're being the best mom you can be.
I know they're saying. What I have changed might be its
(27:49):
own trauma in itself. OK.
Like they were so strict on me that maybe I'm not strict
enough, you know, like, you know, you go back, you know.
So it's like, am I hurting them just in a different way?
I overthink though, so to be. No, it's a very fair, you know,
question analogy to kind of poseto yourself and go, OK, where is
that line? I don't want to be this person,
(28:09):
but I also don't want to be way down here, but let you.
So yeah, it's a very fine line to walk and.
If you coddle them and cater to them with material things and
baby the shit out of them then they're going to be baby
bitches. You know, or just plan out
bitches and expect things from people and then they haven't,
they don't work towards anything.
They don't try to earn anything.They just want it.
(28:31):
And that's the obstacle word is when you give them yes, they can
earn something, they can work towards a goal.
You can reward that behavior. You know, that's just positive
reinforcement. That should be every parent's
ultimate goal. Yeah.
So one of my friends, they are in the medical field.
She's a doctor, right? And she has raised two boys, two
(28:54):
boys that she did not raise as men.
They have both finished college.They're twins.
They want to be doctors, but honestly, they're fucking
bitches. These boys are big, overweight
Mama's boys won't do their fucking laundry.
Mama either pays for them to gettheir laundry done.
They don't have to work. That's a lot of weight for her
to hold, too. Oh well, she's a doctor, she can
(29:15):
afford it. I'm just saying, like to hold
that weight as a mother that you've grown kids, you have to
still take care of them. That's a lot.
Oh, she don't care though. She likes to say.
She may have that savior complex.
Dude. It's like I get to step in and
save the day. Yeah, and she's a fucking
enabler, and that's what she is.And it's like when I, I'm
looking at her and I was like, you realize what you're doing.
(29:38):
You're not raising men, you're raising manchild that these
manchild people are not going tohave productive lives and
marriages. That's the trauma of herself.
She needs somebody to constantlybe around and needing her.
But it's her children and it's men children.
Yes, she's hindering. She doesn't want them to leave
and go to another wife like she did that.
That's a trauma on her and it's affecting now her kids.
(30:00):
That's a good observation. Yes, and so parents.
Bottom line, they fuck. Every single generation.
Have you seen the new generationcoming out?
Oh my God, I'm over. Jesus Christ.
Yes, coddled if we ever went into war.
We're doomed. We are doomed.
And you said? I'm serious.
(30:22):
No, you all had to be like, oh, your oldest child has to go in.
We're all doomed. Yeah.
The oldest one is always a little bit weird, like a
pancake. Your first pancake's always a
little weird. OK.
Thank you for for because I was going near the pancakes, but
it's. Not fluffy.
Yeah, no, it's not cooked all the burger all the way it's.
Burnt a little bit in one spot. It's not.
(30:44):
White circle. I like the analogy.
All right, so don't raise a pancake.
Don't raise a pancake was the ass pancake.
Oh, my goodness. That's been exciting.
But yeah, you know, it's interesting to analyze people.
Bottom line now, PO, I will say that I had an adult baby years
ago that came in his mother was in the lifestyle.
(31:06):
I knew his mother. I met her a couple times.
Not I wasn't associated with herin any way.
But they end up coming to the same party.
They realized this because they both signed up.
They both found each other's fatlife.
He made sure that he was in the far corner of the yard and she
was pretty much in the main house the whole night.
That's still weird. It's still fucking weird.
Bottom line, he comes for a session and he is an adult baby.
(31:28):
OK. And immediately I've had so many
adult babies say to me, oh, it was nothing about my mom.
And I'm like, motherfucker, can you look to your left one more
time and lie to me that it wasn't Mama that created this?
And so when I met his mother, I automatically new she is a
selfish fucking cunt right who did not emotionally support her
(31:50):
child. Boom.
And now you got somebody who is an adult baby and not that it's
a bad thing. No at all.
No, it's not. Period.
But I think it is important thatyou do analyze yourself and try
and figure out why you are that way and then.
And I told him. That you can't accept yourself
and you can't accept the behavior, and you're always
going to think it's taboo and it's so weird.
Yes. Once I figure it out, that's
(32:10):
whenever I was able to go. I'm cool.
Yeah. Usually one of the people around
you to accept you. Yeah.
You really want it to be like your family.
You do, but. Family blood is not always
thicker. No, but my thing of it is, and
you know, we talked about this on on a previous episode, we're
talking about what draws you to Reese Witherspoon just look like
your mom. You know, we go back and forth
with these things, right, because of the way our brain
(32:31):
works. And I know you're very
analytical. So it's nothing like, you know,
personal attack. However, this kid, I told him, I
said, look, if you're going to be like a Norman Bates and still
going to want the love and support of your Mama that you
will never get because she's a straight up hoe in the
community. Oh, there's no way that you're
(32:52):
not going to be able to you're ever going to really be able to
connect with your mother just because I've met her.
I'm she's a very self-centered person.
It's very difficult to even gauge with her at all because
she thought she was holier than thou.
It's like, OK bitch, I get it, you're attractive.
Shut the fuck up. She had one child If you're if.
You're not attractive on the inside, it don't fucking matter.
(33:13):
It doesn't matter, you'll never curse.
I love it when you do. You know that word.
She has a point. Exactly.
But but yeah, but we've had manyadult babies and they'll
automatically say, well, it's nothing.
My mom did. I'm like OK.
It's an attention thing. Yes, it is.
And I, you need to be nurtured, didn't understand that further
(33:36):
law. And I understand the nurturing
part, but it is the I am the sole thing that you have to pay
attention to. Because you're a little not,
yeah. Right.
And you have to. Take care of me, yeah.
I can't be in danger. Of mess there's a lot of things
that but. Mothers take care of their
children like that. That is a mother thing that you
would be searching for, right? Right.
I mean there are people that search for daddies.
I mean, I think it's all according to, you know, if
(33:58):
you're say that you know, the mom passed away and it's a
single dad and he does a, you know, a great job and he's got
this basically the same thing that, you know, the moms have to
do, which is they have to go outand get a full time job.
They can't. So I could see I could see it
being, you know, a daddy thing as well.
Like I said, mine left when I was four years old.
So I can't help but go, well, it's probably not all just mom
(34:19):
thing. It was a OK, they chose to push
me out. Therefore I no longer had their
attention because they chose notto pay attention to me.
So there's a lot of things that I've kind of analyzed to go, OK,
it's now I didn't do anything wrong.
No, you didn't. Therefore, I have nothing to
feel bad about, which is the reason why I can accept being a
yeah being a little being an adult baby because not hurting
(34:39):
anybody. I'm not hurting, you know, not
at all anything out there. But again, I didn't do anything
wrong. Therefore, why should I feel
guilty for, yeah, bad or guilty that, you know, that I
participate in that lifestyle and then I'm not ashamed.
Yeah, I think it's great. I really do.
I think adult baby, I think it'sbadass.
I think I like the kink. I think it's cool.
Liv and I really were into it. I am actually gotten really into
(35:00):
the sissification too, but this not the humiliation
sissification. But this is you don't like the
humiliation aspect at all. I get it.
Yeah, but I really like, I've been really starting to dig the
Sissy sissies because I feel like I can kind of understand
it. When I understand it is whenever
I start like enjoying it. I know what you need.
Now you can understand why. Yes, yes.
But you know what ABDL? Well, it's more or less direct.
(35:21):
This is the direct. There's no black and white.
It's like this is what I like. It's either a diaper fetish
whereas the sisification. It's all over the place.
It's fucking all over the place is right.
It's like, OK, we can sisify you, OK?
Do you want to be a cook? Oh, no, you just want to suck
Dick. Oh, do you want to be a trans?
Is this the crossing over to it?I mean, there's so many fucking
(35:44):
levels to it. And I must admit, whenever you
were talking about the adult baby that wants, that's a guy
that wants to be a girl, that's where there's two morphs.
And I was like, yes, I want to know the psychology behind that
because like you said, this world is very direct.
This is very that's what I want.This one is like he's.
Been around a baby girl that gotup a lot of a lot of attention.
Is that that's what it comes down to?
(36:04):
What it is because his daughter OK.
And he was probably raised sincethe only child, and again,
probably raised as the only child, sees that his wife gave a
lot of attention to his daughter.
He was already a cross dresser because he probably had, again,
a shitty fucking mother, OK. So he was already a trans.
It was. Already a.
Cross. Dresser.
Well, it wasn't a cross dresser,it was a baby.
(36:25):
So that that's where I'm trying to figure out OK but.
He wanted to be a cross dresser as a woman, but he still wanted
to be a baby. He still wanted to be a kid.
He already had. He already wanted.
To be a baby, he wasn't a little.
Right, so but he already had thebaby fetish or the ABDL fest and
then. It probably translated into
that, but I don't know. I didn't really dig into he
didn't dig into that further with him.
Well, yeah, because the what I got from him wasn't a little.
(36:48):
It was still he wanted to be a baby, but he still wanted to be
a girl, right. So he still wanted to be
feminized. And to me, feminization goes
back to not having that emotional connection with your
mother. But the whole thing with the
baby again, is it the mother? Is it the Father you?
Know the. Wife.
Is it the wife? Yeah.
And maybe he was just closeted his whole time and he was like,
Oh well, I'm doing the AVDL. That may be a little easier
(37:10):
transition in his head to be a female baby versus saying I want
to wear high heels and V dress and do the makeup I could.
I could see that actually being it's baby steps.
Baby steps. So cute.
Yeah. We need another episode just of
talking about cross dressing because I've.
I've got some crazy stories. Liv's got some crazy stories.
(37:30):
I mean, we can really get in depth about that.
But we need to wrap it up, kids.We ready.
All right, So until then, this has been the latest episode of.
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