May 26, 2025 • 32 mins
MIA AND CREW SIT DOWN AND DISCUSS WOMEN ON CHAINS, DISGUSTING BDSM MOVIES AND MORE! DON'T BE SHY, COME AND LISTEN IN AS WE GET GROSS...
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Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and we've got with me Madame
Live. Hey, guys.
And of course, she gives you that big wave that you can't
see, like this moment. It's great.
I love it. And we've got Charles.
Charles in the corner in his little panties and his collar.
And it's happy birthday, Charles.
(00:29):
Hello Mr. Smia, thank you for mycolor and panties.
Perfect. So they're baby blue because
he's a little baby. Boy, oh, happy birthday.
Well, thank you. I'm happy to be here with Mr.
Smia and her buddy Madam Live. So when we were talking and
trying to do the intro before, but, you know, we all acted like
(00:49):
idiots, I said yeah, with my twobest hangs, and you referred to
yourself as testicles. So if the two of you are
testicles, then I'm a big Dick, Yeah.
Nice girthy like veins sticking up the side and then even tear
somebody up. Yeah, with a really big head.
That's a compliment. Yeah, totally.
Yeah. You don't even pre cum, just
(01:11):
dry. Dry and hard.
Damn, yeah. There you go.
We are big balls. We are the powerful.
And you got the big balls underneath.
I love it. OK, love ball because.
We like to hang out with you, yeah.
I love hanging out with you. I don't want to imagine life
being separated from you. You know, Barbie said this 2
(01:32):
days ago when she was over here.She's like, you know, she's
like, I just miss my people. And she's like that day hanging
out with you and Charles and Liv, that was like the best.
And it's like, you know, these are my people.
These are my kink people, my friends.
And she's like I've, I've gottenso far away from that at times
because I'm always afraid that my family is going to find out.
(01:55):
You know, her family has banned her for the most pettiest
reasons, and I know you know, wecan all deal with that at some
point in time because we've all been called a deviant or some
horrible person. Disturbing.
That was my word that somebody used for me.
Wow. Free.
Yeah, yeah, but they don't know all of.
It they said just some. Disturbing things that but.
(02:17):
You know, yeah, The day. Fuck them.
You gotta live, Yeah. I that's that I care about these
people that never. See again.
And that's what Barbie feels like.
You know, she now she has finally come to the realization,
hey, I've really got to follow what I want, period.
So the journey. Isn't out, it's within.
Oh, that, that's that is a good saying.
(02:37):
I like that. But if you if you try to live to
for somebody else, you're just going to be fucking miserable,
yeah. Yeah, because you're living for
them. And then you.
Start and they if they love you,they give a shit about what you
needed to, you know, compromise and most there's no compromise
with these some of these people.So if we jump forward, yesterday
you had a tattoo session and it turned out awesome.
(02:59):
Charleston is very pretty. Yeah.
And so you did this long sessionwith getting your tattoo.
Well, you know, like whenever, you know, sometimes the human
body can smell like fish or Bo or onion, garlic, garlic.
That's a good one. The body is so weird.
But I kept thinking I smelled like an onion.
(03:22):
I'm thinking, Oh my God, my titties.
I can smell it. My titties smell like onions.
I don't even pull my titties up to my to my nose.
And I'm like, she's actually. Sniffing her tits, she's holding
them together, picking toward her nose, and she's smelling
them and it's kind of cool. Yeah, very cool.
That's that's. Just that good handful sized
tits where I can actually reach it.
I can lick my nipple too. Nice.
But anyways, yes. It's pretty challenge.
(03:44):
It smells like onions, so I'm getting a little subconscious.
But then whenever I had, I don'tknow if I took my shirt off to
get a shower or something, therewas daggum long skinny onion
right between my tits. Yeah, from my burger that I eat.
I guess isn't that nice? Yeah.
But I said thank goodness it wasafter your tattoo session.
Oh yeah, 'cause I was pretty in close quarters with him.
(04:06):
You were? Yeah.
He didn't smell good, though. He didn't.
Yeah. Onion.
Where was the burger from? I got the two cheeseburger meal
from McDonald's. Was it?
Hope are those sponsors or not too as.
McDonald's. It's better than I Have It Your
Way episode we had the other day.
(04:26):
Oh no. Yeah, now.
God bless. OK, onion in your shirt.
Have you ever sucked a guy's titty and it tastes like onion?
No. Yes.
Yes. I've never placed onion titties.
I have. I've been with several men where
(04:46):
I have sucked their nipple and it tastes like fucking onion.
OK, that's a first for me. Yes.
The weirdest nipple suck I ever did.
She had a really long hair and it was dark and I did not know
about it and I did not know how to get out of that situation.
She had like one really massive long hair and I'm like, what is
that? And I kept thinking it was in my
mouth. No, it was attached.
(05:07):
I'm like, oh, I just, I kept going.
I have. One black hair, it's the same
size as my other hairs on my nipples because she got a little
Peach buzz but it's black. I plucked it one time and then
two grew back so I leave it alone.
Well, we're taking your laser hair removal and they can say we
can get rid. Of that motherfucker, yeah.
You know, bad you can. Understand when you lick a
(05:27):
nipple and get a long hair, thisis like no no.
Well, it's even worse. When you're stuck in Dick and
you get your all the hair all inyour.
Teeth going down in a woman's the same way let.
Me clean that. That's clean.
Yeah. All we pulling hairs out.
I hate that. That hair on the tongue, it's
just the worst. But when you don't know where
it's at, the but go ahead. Wow, I was going to say, what
(05:48):
was our worst experience like that with someone that you you
were intimate with? For for all or.
Just. Anything the.
Worst thing I ever did that I remember, I was in Tijuana
having sex with this woman doggystyle, and she apparently had
some kind of really bad Mexican diarrhea just before.
And I kept having to turn my head to decide to catch air
(06:10):
because it was horrible and I didn't know how to just stop it,
you know? I get the hell out of there, you
know, but no. Yeah, that was rough it she.
Had the Taco farts. No, ohh, God, it was worse.
It was like, it was like a dumpster.
It was like ohh God, I forgot toget out of here.
That was bad. That is.
Wow, that's smelling. That's gross.
Yeah, that was nasty. Worse, eating out.
(06:31):
That's always a hard thing because sometimes you go down a
woman, she wants you to, and youcan't.
Sometimes there's an odor for certain people and how the hell
do you stop? You know, 'cause you don't want
to make them feel bad, but you're like, what?
No, God, this is not good. Yeah, I know that's I don't like
people going down on me, 'cause I don't want that moment.
I think maybe a. I think you're so self-conscious
about everything and I think youoverthink that because I have
(06:56):
never known a woman to talk so much about their vaginal
cleansing. I know.
You don't have. I have so much problems down
there, but I have to be excessive with it.
I gotta be pristine with it. And they own it.
Yeah, because I like. If I swim in the pool, my pH
gets messed up. If I use a different shampoo my
pH gets messed up at least. You're, you know, paying
attention to it. Some people you kind of have and
(07:17):
it's like, what the hell? The old gym socks and three-week
old tacos. We need to get you some latex
panties to swim in the pool withand then that way to see what.
About something like to kind of put over.
It Yeah. To see 'cause they have that for
years, you can put like a littleplastic wrap around your ears.
So I. Wonder if you can do it?
Caps Yeah. So why wouldn't they be able to
have one before you're? Downstairs, yeah, Because, you
(07:38):
know, they have to be like aerodynamic in the water, so you
know they're tight. Absolutely.
We'll look on Amazon for you. Plus you could always wear it in
dungeon too. Oh yeah, definitely.
Olympic gold medalist. Whatever.
And I'm hearing you. If it's Latex, wouldn't just
slip off the. Oh no, you can once.
It gets wet, it'll just slip right off.
Yeah, if you're sweating in it too.
(07:58):
Yeah, it'll be easier to take off with your perspiration,
yeah. Sweaty mouth?
Yeah. What was your horrible odor
experience? You know, I have been with
countless, countless people. I never encountered any smelly
vaginas. Never.
Congratulations. Yes, that's good for.
(08:19):
You. Yeah, all of them.
I was like, oh, OK, it tastes like water.
No big deal. Not a big deal.
I've only had a few that tasted nice.
Yeah, that's too bad. Nice people I.
Taste myself sometimes it tastesdifferent, at times OK.
Yeah, that's different. And different girls sometimes
give all different smells, you know at different times you know
the body is going through different thing.
And what they eat is a factor, whether nothing not a freshly
(08:40):
showered lady dynamite. Not it isn't the internal though
that's messed up because then when they start getting wet the
wetness will smell it. Depends.
So my thing has been when I havebeen with different people,
there's only been two men. One guy, he was loaded in
fucking body hair. Like, this was supposed to be a
(09:01):
little flang. And when I met him, he had a
shaved head, like, Charles, you know, no facial hair, no
nothing. And then he took his clothes off
and it was like, oh, my God, is this caveman Neanderthal?
Like, you could braid his fucking back hair, OK?
And I'm like, OK, you know what?I won't hold it against him.
(09:22):
But the funny part of it was he actually took and made a circle
around his Dick and balls, so that was completely shaved.
And then the wolf hair all around him.
Wolf hair like I'm tired of. Seeing that, I fell down a guy
who did that and it was like, well, at least it wasn't Muff
City. It it true, but just fucking
shave it all off. That's a lot.
(09:42):
It was awful. It's like, why?
I used to do that too when I wasyounger and not shave everything
because people, you know, they see I'm hairless, hairless legs
or arms or whatever. That oh faggot, you know where
I'm from. Anyway, there was.
OK, but this was thick black hair.
And let me put it this way, whenhe perspired and we were fucking
(10:02):
the sweat, it would just beat upand fall on me.
Yeah. And I was yeah.
And I was like, yeah, So that was missionary and that lasted
all 5 minutes. I was done with that.
And then I'm like, OK, I'm goingto wrap this up and we'll do a
little, you know, riding the pony and then we'll doggy or
whatever and be done. And I fucking ghosted him.
(10:23):
He like blew up my phone. He's like, what happened?
What happened? He had a nice penis, I mean.
Hairy penis like like all the way up to the tip.
No, no, I told you he shaved it all.
OK, but I mean like you could tell where that stumble had been
prior. No.
It was horrible. It was like it was.
Like halfway, yeah. It'd be like.
Hair. And just the head was clean and
(10:44):
it was like fur all the way up. No, no, he, he was kind enough.
I didn't see any of that. It hurt, but I wouldn't go down
on him. Honestly, I didn't want to go
down on him because I'm like, it's sweat, it's gross.
And then afterwards, I looked athim and he's like laying there
on my bed and all I see is like a layer of fucking sweat all
(11:05):
over my sheets. I'm like, I'm throwing these
fucking sheets away. It was gross.
Like his back was like straight up Bush.
You know, it's like we have thatone gentleman that comes in, we
talk about the fisting and stuff.
That was nothing times that by 10, this was a fucking hairy
wall. I'm looking at the fucking white
hairy wall. It was a black fucking hairy
(11:26):
wall. I, I am telling you, I I still
have nightmares to this day whenI see people, I'm like, oh, God.
Oh, God, yeah. He was a chef down at a
restaurant downtown. I don't eat at the restaurant
anymore. I I just like.
I just. That's too much hair.
It's gonna get in the food. I Yeah, I can't get out of my
mind like he's got a problem. OK, all right, so enough about
(11:48):
that. But the, the next one, I'm
sorry. We were talking about odors.
And fun. Oh shit.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
Here we go. Here you go.
Another one. Ready.
So Mamas don't listen. You have children.
You have sons, teach them to wipe their ass, right?
That's what you. Do, of course.
Right. OK, how many times have we
encounter people don't know how to wipe their fucking ass?
(12:10):
A lot. Too many.
For to be an adult too many exactly, too many to.
Be an adult. I think about that a lot.
Here it is a lot. It and that's sad and.
Then they're adultmen there, they could have done something.
Yes, exactly. Now Charles, you got testicles
as a man, but do you back wipe like you put your arm behind
your back when you're wiping your you tush or do you go like
(12:32):
frontal under your balls and wipe your ass?
There you go. Okay, so you can reach your ass.
You got long arms, you're good. Okay, let me tell you, this guy,
he was God, he was in high school still and I was 21 and I
was first. I felt bad because I was like,
Oh, well, he's 18, but he's still in fucking high school,
(12:54):
right? So he calls me one night and
he's like, hey, you want to comeget me?
I'm at a hotel party. We're celebrating this football
win and blah, blah. I'm like, God, I'm 21 and doing
this. I'm fucking a high school
student. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Right? It was, it was great.
It was. Yeah.
And you know, he was great in bed in a lot of ways.
And at this time, I'd already had sex with him once before.
(13:15):
So I'm like, OK, you know, I'll drive out.
We'll go do this. So I picked him up.
He's staying at this hotel. I bring him back to my place
because he's sharing a hotel room with obvious other friends.
Not doing it. So I take him back to my house
and we're having sex. Now, at some point, he went down
on me at the very beginning. Cool.
Not a problem. I go down on him, I'm like,
(13:37):
yeah, I'm not doing this becauseI smelled straight up shit.
Yeah. So then I told him I'm like, you
know, I'm. I'm just not feeling well.
I'm not feeling well. I keep just smelling these
smells and just, I, I just don'tfeel well.
I, you know what? I think I'm gonna go ahead and
let, let's, let's just take a shower and call it a day.
And he wasn't very happy with this.
(13:58):
He's like, well, I'll go ahead and get, get off myself, get a
hand job and blah, blah, blah. I'll, I'll masturbate.
I'm like, yeah, you go ahead anddo that 'cause I wouldn't Jack
his Dick. He was not happy.
I don't give a fuck. OK.
So anyway, he's like, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and have my
friend just come pick me up. I said, you know, that'd be
easier so I don't have to drive all the way back where I got
you. Damn.
(14:19):
He leaves, and I noticed how he flipped the covers back down on
the bed. I'm like, that's odd.
Yeah, instead of a snail trail, I got a shit trail about four
inches wide. And he wiped. 7 inches, Yes, It
was clumped shit, about an inch high.
Like he hit shit himself. Yeah.
(14:42):
So I'm thinking, you know, I've seen this before.
When men have an orgasm, they'llhave such a strong orgasm that
they'll shit themselves. Really.
Yes, never heard. Of that, neither.
Yes. Maybe after doing it with the
dildo? He didn't have a dildo in him,
but yeah, people dildos, absolutely.
But it. Happened.
It happened dildo but. Never with vaginal sex.
(15:04):
I've never heard of that. He was probably drinking before
all this, you know, maybe he hisphysical body was he just
couldn't handle it. Maybe he just let go in too many
ways. But when he did that, then he
continues to call me and it was,you know, non-stop calling and
and I finally said look, enough is enough.
You shit on my bed. You smelled like shit.
(15:26):
I'm not fucking nasty. OK, Best of luck in your life.
Did he at least buy you new sheets?
Of course not. He was.
A fucking He's a high schooler. OK.
God, shame on me. That's what I got.
I was like, after this, no more high schoolers.
Even if they're 18. Yeah, all right.
I sound like a fucking. Perfect.
Any other odors? I mean, the only one I know of
(15:47):
is kind of like your story, the guy that I had sex with in the
hotel not too long ago. Yeah.
Oh yeah. He left a little poop line.
It was like a butt crack where you just sat down and he was
just sitting there. He didn't wipe, he was just
sitting there. So you gotta think about it.
Just oozing out of his butt. What was the term?
Was it blunking? That's when you're pooping and
you get a blowjob whenever you get pooping.
(16:09):
That was it. OK, wonderful.
I've never done. That I've never done that
before. That's not on my.
List gag. I would never.
Have that on my list. Some people do that though.
So sick. I'll tell you something that's
super nasty. This is really funny though.
Awesome. So I'm always getting random
messages from people. Just random.
They'll send me videos, they'll send me Dick pics.
(16:29):
And I'm like look, I know we have to advertise as doms.
A lot of people misconstrue thatand think we're hookers when
clearly we're not going to fuck these people.
Clearly that is not the situation, but this guy sent me
a video and he has this nice bigDick and he's squatting and you
can see that he's in a public bathroom and he's like standing
(16:51):
over a drain or squatting over adrain, OK.
And you see him jacking his Dick.
Well, then all of a sudden you see him squat so good and squat
down lower that you see this huge, huge log of poop, just
shit coming out of him. This huge one big caramel log of
shit, right? He picks it up and starts
(17:13):
descriptive. Words.
I was sitting here cringing. I don't even know.
I can't even imagine what the audience is thinking right now.
Get this part? He starts jacking off with it.
You know, I saw a video that onetime but.
He grabbed. It he grabbed the shoe and
starts jacking his Dick with his.
Own shit yes, I saw a woman do far worse with it on the video.
(17:34):
Help me Lord days. That was disgusting.
Yeah. So Needless to say, I sent that
to all my friends. I.
Would too you? Would right?
That looks weird. Yes.
It reminds me of the Alaska pipeline.
Yes. Well, they somebody that took a
shit into a condom and then theyfroze it and then they use it as
a gel bell on somebody. Yeah.
(17:56):
How they. You know, the Urban Dictionary
is full of all kind of interesting little things and
some other human being is set around the thought of this shit
and somebody's done it. But the the Cleveland Steamer, I
guess this one, a woman takes a dump on your chest, and then I
guess it was the the Cleveland steamroller is when she takes a
dump on your chest and then she sits on it and rocks back and
forth. There's all kind of nasty shit
(18:18):
out there. Yeah, I had a friend and he
would always talk about his coworker and he was just like,
yeah, you know, I, I make my wife shit on my chest, but I
make her do it in a paper plate so I can see it come out.
Oh and so then my friend says well why not use a piece of
plexiglass and then that way youcan put it right there by her
(18:40):
ass and have it over your face so you can see it coming out.
Somebody did that with a Saran wrap on his face and then she
took the dump that way it kept it clean.
He got the the whole visual and then you got to feel the heat,
so to speak. Feel the heat?
(19:01):
Sounds like a commercial? Let's.
Move to a different subject. You know, how long has it been
'cause you could might do a different episode because we
went way the hell off course of what we were going to talk
about. Well, that's OK.
No, we're, we're good. We're right. 20 minutes.
We're going to go into God bless.
We can do your your one story and then we'll do our actual
(19:25):
topic on our next episode. How about that?
That won't be a plan, OK. OK, so Charles told us an
outrageous story. Liv has only heard part of it.
It's quite interesting. OK, I met a couple on caller
space or caller me, whichever one it was at the time and I
basically went to go visit them for a week to help out around
their house. They had a it was some bad
(19:46):
weather. I work as a handyman so I was
going to offer just to help themout.
They sent me their e-mail address so I did a reverse look
up just to see who I was dealingwith and then I saw their mug
shots. Oh this is interesting what had
happened. I'm not going to send the exact
charges. They had to live in slave for a
while, a transsexual woman. One night they had her chained
(20:07):
up outside butt naked with a chain around her neck attached
to a post. Now apparently she needed
medication and was not on it, soshe got loose and ran down the
highway wearing nothing but a chain around her neck dragging
her post. So the top finds her and picks
her up. They're thinking, oh, my God,
this is human trafficking, slave.
(20:27):
You know, something horrible went wrong.
So they went and arrested the couple that I knew.
OK, They never went to prison, but they stayed in jail for
months waiting for a trial. Nothing ever came of it because
they figured out what had happened.
This was all consensual. But there were a lot of legal
problems, like they lost custodyof their children and they went
into confiscated guns and all kind of stuff in their home
(20:49):
because they couldn't, you know,civilize that forfeiture.
When a cop comes into your home,they start taking shit.
But they had a live in slave andshe'd been around for like
several years and then they kepther outside because that was her
thing. And I guess she went batshit
crazy one night and ran down thestreet naked with a dog called a
dead dog chain dragging her post.
But anyway, they were trying to prosecute him for something.
(21:11):
I don't know if it was human trafficking or, you know,
keeping a hostage, but it was all voluntary.
But I guess the woman or whoevershe was finally came forward and
admitted to what happened and they got out of jail.
But they spent a few months in jail and it was consensual.
But I guess, you know, she just went batshit crazy one night.
But it was kind of, it's kind ofhorrible for them.
(21:32):
But when I think about the mental image of this person
running down the road like that,the poor cop, what the hell was
going on? But it was what it really was,
was a bunch of kinky fuckers. Anyway, the way I told the story
me, I got a laugh out of it. I thought it was great because I
thought, my God, could you imagine seeing this?
(21:52):
I called him on it because I'm like, OK, I read your, I saw
your mug shots online. It's like, oh, you went looking
around and then they explained it to me and I looked up some
more. OK.
So I went to go meet him and I helped him out, you know,
working on their house because Iget it.
Shit, sometimes Half that was. I thought it was funny.
It's funny, it's funny. You know, to me this is where
you need to have a written contract or a written agreement
(22:16):
or something that is notarized SO50.
Shades of Grey did that. Even that though, I mean, a
lawyer would see, I mean, it depends on what a judge wants to
do, you know, like I can tell you everything I want, but it
depends on what law, local law is being violated and how the
how the law wants to treat it, you know?
One thing of it is the damn trainee shouldn't have been
(22:37):
running down the damn St. in thefirst place.
But she was fucking crazy. Yeah, clearly.
Oh, we're crazy. So sometimes you have to deal
with shit like that, you know? Oh goodness, silly tranny.
They're gonna cancel this for that one.
Oh I love my trans people as. I know the human centipede.
(22:58):
I've heard about it and saw clips So what the fuck.
Are you getting right back to shit and vomit?
I don't think about it. The trainee and the butt and the
poop and yeah, how's it going? 'Cause that poor person in the
middle was like, you know, eating Doo Doo and.
Pooping in somebody's mouth Theythey tie their mouth to their
anal. Put to the reason I know about
(23:18):
that is from an episode on SouthPark, you know there's. 2.
There's two. There's a human centipede 2.
Yeah, I've never heard of that. I watched it.
I'm not that curious. I enjoyed it, watched it with my
ex-husband. He was into it too.
OK. Yeah.
Was it like a slave thing or just.
It felt like a slave thing like they he treated like this.
It was 3 humans attached to eachother and he treated the this
(23:40):
thing as like a pet and he was taking care of it like a dog.
Wow, yeah OK, I might have to look at more clips but.
It was a good movie. It was very interesting.
I actually want to watch it again now.
It makes you sick. It'll make your tummy hurt.
I think I'd brought short NATO first.
I've never gotten to a full a full movie of that shit.
It's without laughing without laughing, right?
(24:02):
There's no way in hell I can go without.
There's a 5 headed shark lookingand it's 4 headed shark and at
the very end you see the 5th head.
It's his tail and he's just going wow.
It's so. Dumb.
I literally had a Fast forward because I was like where's the
5th head? I we just fast forwarded into
the end, We're like. The last one I saw, I guess they
were in orbit, there were sharksin orbit, and there's a shark
(24:24):
falling down from the sky, hit the ground, and then somebody
chainsawed out of the shark and I was like, are you fucking
kidding me? I don't know which one it was
like. A bad dream.
That's the thing, we're trying to make it as bad as possible.
And they just kept raising that bar.
But I've never been able to sit through a full movie of any of
those, just certain clips. And I'm like, you know, I could
(24:45):
do something stupid like this. They're.
Making a lot of money. They have like 5 different
sharknadoes. I don't.
Know how much money they made itat party $28.00 and some coffee
but I mean. I mean, a lot of people watched
it out of curiosity. It's OK.
I guess we got way off course onthat one.
OK, human centipede and, you know, escaping little slaves and
(25:08):
shit and stinky vaginas. She was engraved, yeah.
How dare she? Shame.
Compromising the dynamic she should got punished.
Yeah, she should have. Well, too late then.
I don't know what had happened. She punished them by not.
Coming sooner and I'm put in jail anyway.
The pot was hot though. For her to be put in that way of
(25:29):
like, Oh yeah, this happened to me.
You got to play out like a fan off the in a way.
With the cops and I forget the truth of man, you fucking
lunatic. Yeah, it'd been one thing if
she'd stayed on the property, but it's a whole other thing.
The fact that she left the property would.
Have been more interesting if she found a cop that was in the
lifestyle. Oh.
God, I've been hot. No record.
Come on. Yeah, I.
(25:51):
Put you in my basement. I want to show you what escape
proof means. Yeah, and that's the truth.
I I've met an individual, he's law enforcement in Texas who has
a private ranch and he, he's gayand he brings guys onto his
ranch for like serious prison treatment.
I didn't go there, but I just talked to him online and I'm
like, holy shit. I mean, they, they take it like
(26:12):
old school prison, like the 1900s with like torture and
shit. And he has volunteers come out
there and they are, yeah, they're not getting away.
OK. Sorry.
I like you. I was going to say, that's
interesting. Interesting people online.
You know, I read that story about the human ponies and it
(26:32):
was, to me, it had like a new New Zealand or Sweden vibe, the
way they talked about it. And it was millionaires and
billionaires that were in this elite group and any opportunity
they had to kidnap someone, or by someone so to speak, they
would turn them into human ponies.
(26:53):
That's part of the real life shit.
That happened, Yeah. Well, someone, you know, they
wrote that story on Gag Utopia and the the little, the little
intro said this is strictly fictitious, blah blah blah.
And I'm thinking. Yeah, bitch, I think.
Yeah, I think this might be a little more real than what we
like. Very interesting, real things
(27:15):
happen. OK, how do you be a human pony
though? What's what's the SO?
They they get the the bit, they put it in your mouth.
They have some that according tothe fetishes, you know, they
have them to where they're electrical and you can't speak.
They put on full headgear. They put hooves on you so you're
unable to use your hands. You know, they basically put
(27:37):
your body and contort it in a way that looks like a horse.
What I saw, they had like, the knees bent and then they put the
hoof on the knee. Yeah.
So their legs were taped together so they couldn't get up
and run. They had to walk on their knees
and then like a hoof on the knee.
They were. Yeah, they were going to stay
that way. Yeah, this one that I read, it
was talked about a lot of like anal play and rape and and the
(27:59):
other thing they did, they put like a bag feeders just like
they would a horse. You know, they would have bags
of sloshy mixed food and minerals and vitamins that
they're supposed to eat as humans, but they put it together
in this mush. Yeah.
Gross. Topic again, have you seen The
Farm? They had a bunch of women as
Hugh cows and they were milking them and making cheese out of
(28:21):
the milk. It was messed up.
That's called the Farm and I think you can watch it on
Netflix. I think one of the movie.
Day. And whatever the fuck that.
Is no, it was don't have some weird shit going on.
They would have the farm workerswere wearing like pig outfits or
pig pig mask and they were fucking people up.
It was but a friend of mine who's into some real dark shit,
(28:44):
the one I told you about the other day where she went to the
warehouse to get, you know, CNC that that's her dream reality.
He's getting locked up in the cage and treated like that.
I mean, it was, it's called the farm, but it's very specific.
I have to look it up one day and.
You know, I've watched some who cow, human cow porn and they
(29:05):
will use this animal, the actualanimal nipple devices milking
machines, yeah, versus the humanmilking machines Yeah, they.
Cut them utters and it was like pumping, like, you know, like
reciprocating. I was apparently hurting their
tits. But yeah, people go into that.
Ohh yeah, why not? Right.
I'd watch it as long as it was, you know, consensual.
(29:27):
Between a cow. No, no.
An actual woman A. Human female having her her
tits, yeah. Hu is human cow, but they call
her cow. Oh, OK.
All right, yeah, that's a big fetish if you look up Hoo cow
porn. Hoo cow.
Yeah, they treat them. There's a few people like being
treated like livestock. It's like a former slavery, but
(29:47):
they're not even human anymore. They treat them as like these
animals. They put them in a barn, they do
all sorts of shit with them, butthen they rape them in between.
I know you're like, oh, sounds sexy.
I've done a lot of foreign work.To me that's not hot to two
inches on if you want to go to astable and get milked.
(30:09):
What? If they turned you into a horse
and put you in a stable. It's just not my thing.
OK. It's it never was.
I'll watch somebody else do it. It just was never a fantasy.
Like this woman, she had a transporter.
It was a big metal trailer, but she got real fancy in the high
end of it and she had a hidden door and she had the human
(30:32):
ponies like like compressed in the these little stalls and you
couldn't see it because it was in the very back of the trailer.
Though it might be in case it's.Cool.
But not not like, you know, transformed to an animal, maybe
treated like 1, you know, Yeah, I just but I have nothing to
milk. I think it'd be fun to be
transformed into an animal, I guess.
(30:53):
Oh, see which one? I don't know.
I'm thinking about the horse. Oh, because I can't.
Move a pony thing. It's not really because I want
to be a horse, I'm just saying like.
I just want to be immobilized. Yeah.
Like a like chained up inside ofa cage where you can't, you
really can't move. Maybe have you lined up to the
back so somebody can have accessto it?
Yeah. Where you're.
Like a literal prisoner, yeah. The degradation of it all or.
(31:15):
Somebody could just duct tape you up where you can't move and
just use you as a piece of meat.I'll look at her, she's got a
smile on her face. The chair is going to be wet by
the time we're done, so let's close it up from here, shall we?
Yeah, hopefully it won't get banned.
Well, you know, Charles, you're the birthday boy, so why don't
(31:36):
you do the closing today? Do a sexy.
All right, hold on. I'm not done.
I got to do it. I got an intro now.
I got it. Exit.
You ready? All right.
Wow. So until then, Liv Charles This
has been the latest episode of. Call me misters.
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and we've got with me Madame
Live. Hey, guys.
And of course, she gives you that big wave that you can't
see, like this moment. It's great.
I love it. And we've got Charles.
Charles in the corner in his little panties and his collar.
And it's happy birthday, Charles.
(00:29):
Hello Mr. Smia, thank you for mycolor and panties.
Perfect. So they're baby blue because
he's a little baby. Boy, oh, happy birthday.
Well, thank you. I'm happy to be here with Mr.
Smia and her buddy Madam Live. So when we were talking and
trying to do the intro before, but, you know, we all acted like
(00:49):
idiots, I said yeah, with my twobest hangs, and you referred to
yourself as testicles. So if the two of you are
testicles, then I'm a big Dick, Yeah.
Nice girthy like veins sticking up the side and then even tear
somebody up. Yeah, with a really big head.
That's a compliment. Yeah, totally.
Yeah. You don't even pre cum, just
(01:11):
dry. Dry and hard.
Damn, yeah. There you go.
We are big balls. We are the powerful.
And you got the big balls underneath.
I love it. OK, love ball because.
We like to hang out with you, yeah.
I love hanging out with you. I don't want to imagine life
being separated from you. You know, Barbie said this 2
(01:32):
days ago when she was over here.She's like, you know, she's
like, I just miss my people. And she's like that day hanging
out with you and Charles and Liv, that was like the best.
And it's like, you know, these are my people.
These are my kink people, my friends.
And she's like I've, I've gottenso far away from that at times
because I'm always afraid that my family is going to find out.
(01:55):
You know, her family has banned her for the most pettiest
reasons, and I know you know, wecan all deal with that at some
point in time because we've all been called a deviant or some
horrible person. Disturbing.
That was my word that somebody used for me.
Wow. Free.
Yeah, yeah, but they don't know all of.
It they said just some. Disturbing things that but.
(02:17):
You know, yeah, The day. Fuck them.
You gotta live, Yeah. I that's that I care about these
people that never. See again.
And that's what Barbie feels like.
You know, she now she has finally come to the realization,
hey, I've really got to follow what I want, period.
So the journey. Isn't out, it's within.
Oh, that, that's that is a good saying.
(02:37):
I like that. But if you if you try to live to
for somebody else, you're just going to be fucking miserable,
yeah. Yeah, because you're living for
them. And then you.
Start and they if they love you,they give a shit about what you
needed to, you know, compromise and most there's no compromise
with these some of these people.So if we jump forward, yesterday
you had a tattoo session and it turned out awesome.
(02:59):
Charleston is very pretty. Yeah.
And so you did this long sessionwith getting your tattoo.
Well, you know, like whenever, you know, sometimes the human
body can smell like fish or Bo or onion, garlic, garlic.
That's a good one. The body is so weird.
But I kept thinking I smelled like an onion.
(03:22):
I'm thinking, Oh my God, my titties.
I can smell it. My titties smell like onions.
I don't even pull my titties up to my to my nose.
And I'm like, she's actually. Sniffing her tits, she's holding
them together, picking toward her nose, and she's smelling
them and it's kind of cool. Yeah, very cool.
That's that's. Just that good handful sized
tits where I can actually reach it.
I can lick my nipple too. Nice.
But anyways, yes. It's pretty challenge.
(03:44):
It smells like onions, so I'm getting a little subconscious.
But then whenever I had, I don'tknow if I took my shirt off to
get a shower or something, therewas daggum long skinny onion
right between my tits. Yeah, from my burger that I eat.
I guess isn't that nice? Yeah.
But I said thank goodness it wasafter your tattoo session.
Oh yeah, 'cause I was pretty in close quarters with him.
(04:06):
You were? Yeah.
He didn't smell good, though. He didn't.
Yeah. Onion.
Where was the burger from? I got the two cheeseburger meal
from McDonald's. Was it?
Hope are those sponsors or not too as.
McDonald's. It's better than I Have It Your
Way episode we had the other day.
(04:26):
Oh no. Yeah, now.
God bless. OK, onion in your shirt.
Have you ever sucked a guy's titty and it tastes like onion?
No. Yes.
Yes. I've never placed onion titties.
I have. I've been with several men where
(04:46):
I have sucked their nipple and it tastes like fucking onion.
OK, that's a first for me. Yes.
The weirdest nipple suck I ever did.
She had a really long hair and it was dark and I did not know
about it and I did not know how to get out of that situation.
She had like one really massive long hair and I'm like, what is
that? And I kept thinking it was in my
mouth. No, it was attached.
(05:07):
I'm like, oh, I just, I kept going.
I have. One black hair, it's the same
size as my other hairs on my nipples because she got a little
Peach buzz but it's black. I plucked it one time and then
two grew back so I leave it alone.
Well, we're taking your laser hair removal and they can say we
can get rid. Of that motherfucker, yeah.
You know, bad you can. Understand when you lick a
(05:27):
nipple and get a long hair, thisis like no no.
Well, it's even worse. When you're stuck in Dick and
you get your all the hair all inyour.
Teeth going down in a woman's the same way let.
Me clean that. That's clean.
Yeah. All we pulling hairs out.
I hate that. That hair on the tongue, it's
just the worst. But when you don't know where
it's at, the but go ahead. Wow, I was going to say, what
(05:48):
was our worst experience like that with someone that you you
were intimate with? For for all or.
Just. Anything the.
Worst thing I ever did that I remember, I was in Tijuana
having sex with this woman doggystyle, and she apparently had
some kind of really bad Mexican diarrhea just before.
And I kept having to turn my head to decide to catch air
(06:10):
because it was horrible and I didn't know how to just stop it,
you know? I get the hell out of there, you
know, but no. Yeah, that was rough it she.
Had the Taco farts. No, ohh, God, it was worse.
It was like, it was like a dumpster.
It was like ohh God, I forgot toget out of here.
That was bad. That is.
Wow, that's smelling. That's gross.
Yeah, that was nasty. Worse, eating out.
(06:31):
That's always a hard thing because sometimes you go down a
woman, she wants you to, and youcan't.
Sometimes there's an odor for certain people and how the hell
do you stop? You know, 'cause you don't want
to make them feel bad, but you're like, what?
No, God, this is not good. Yeah, I know that's I don't like
people going down on me, 'cause I don't want that moment.
I think maybe a. I think you're so self-conscious
about everything and I think youoverthink that because I have
(06:56):
never known a woman to talk so much about their vaginal
cleansing. I know.
You don't have. I have so much problems down
there, but I have to be excessive with it.
I gotta be pristine with it. And they own it.
Yeah, because I like. If I swim in the pool, my pH
gets messed up. If I use a different shampoo my
pH gets messed up at least. You're, you know, paying
attention to it. Some people you kind of have and
(07:17):
it's like, what the hell? The old gym socks and three-week
old tacos. We need to get you some latex
panties to swim in the pool withand then that way to see what.
About something like to kind of put over.
It Yeah. To see 'cause they have that for
years, you can put like a littleplastic wrap around your ears.
So I. Wonder if you can do it?
Caps Yeah. So why wouldn't they be able to
have one before you're? Downstairs, yeah, Because, you
(07:38):
know, they have to be like aerodynamic in the water, so you
know they're tight. Absolutely.
We'll look on Amazon for you. Plus you could always wear it in
dungeon too. Oh yeah, definitely.
Olympic gold medalist. Whatever.
And I'm hearing you. If it's Latex, wouldn't just
slip off the. Oh no, you can once.
It gets wet, it'll just slip right off.
Yeah, if you're sweating in it too.
(07:58):
Yeah, it'll be easier to take off with your perspiration,
yeah. Sweaty mouth?
Yeah. What was your horrible odor
experience? You know, I have been with
countless, countless people. I never encountered any smelly
vaginas. Never.
Congratulations. Yes, that's good for.
(08:19):
You. Yeah, all of them.
I was like, oh, OK, it tastes like water.
No big deal. Not a big deal.
I've only had a few that tasted nice.
Yeah, that's too bad. Nice people I.
Taste myself sometimes it tastesdifferent, at times OK.
Yeah, that's different. And different girls sometimes
give all different smells, you know at different times you know
the body is going through different thing.
And what they eat is a factor, whether nothing not a freshly
(08:40):
showered lady dynamite. Not it isn't the internal though
that's messed up because then when they start getting wet the
wetness will smell it. Depends.
So my thing has been when I havebeen with different people,
there's only been two men. One guy, he was loaded in
fucking body hair. Like, this was supposed to be a
(09:01):
little flang. And when I met him, he had a
shaved head, like, Charles, you know, no facial hair, no
nothing. And then he took his clothes off
and it was like, oh, my God, is this caveman Neanderthal?
Like, you could braid his fucking back hair, OK?
And I'm like, OK, you know what?I won't hold it against him.
(09:22):
But the funny part of it was he actually took and made a circle
around his Dick and balls, so that was completely shaved.
And then the wolf hair all around him.
Wolf hair like I'm tired of. Seeing that, I fell down a guy
who did that and it was like, well, at least it wasn't Muff
City. It it true, but just fucking
shave it all off. That's a lot.
(09:42):
It was awful. It's like, why?
I used to do that too when I wasyounger and not shave everything
because people, you know, they see I'm hairless, hairless legs
or arms or whatever. That oh faggot, you know where
I'm from. Anyway, there was.
OK, but this was thick black hair.
And let me put it this way, whenhe perspired and we were fucking
(10:02):
the sweat, it would just beat upand fall on me.
Yeah. And I was yeah.
And I was like, yeah, So that was missionary and that lasted
all 5 minutes. I was done with that.
And then I'm like, OK, I'm goingto wrap this up and we'll do a
little, you know, riding the pony and then we'll doggy or
whatever and be done. And I fucking ghosted him.
(10:23):
He like blew up my phone. He's like, what happened?
What happened? He had a nice penis, I mean.
Hairy penis like like all the way up to the tip.
No, no, I told you he shaved it all.
OK, but I mean like you could tell where that stumble had been
prior. No.
It was horrible. It was like it was.
Like halfway, yeah. It'd be like.
Hair. And just the head was clean and
(10:44):
it was like fur all the way up. No, no, he, he was kind enough.
I didn't see any of that. It hurt, but I wouldn't go down
on him. Honestly, I didn't want to go
down on him because I'm like, it's sweat, it's gross.
And then afterwards, I looked athim and he's like laying there
on my bed and all I see is like a layer of fucking sweat all
(11:05):
over my sheets. I'm like, I'm throwing these
fucking sheets away. It was gross.
Like his back was like straight up Bush.
You know, it's like we have thatone gentleman that comes in, we
talk about the fisting and stuff.
That was nothing times that by 10, this was a fucking hairy
wall. I'm looking at the fucking white
hairy wall. It was a black fucking hairy
(11:26):
wall. I, I am telling you, I I still
have nightmares to this day whenI see people, I'm like, oh, God.
Oh, God, yeah. He was a chef down at a
restaurant downtown. I don't eat at the restaurant
anymore. I I just like.
I just. That's too much hair.
It's gonna get in the food. I Yeah, I can't get out of my
mind like he's got a problem. OK, all right, so enough about
(11:48):
that. But the, the next one, I'm
sorry. We were talking about odors.
And fun. Oh shit.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
Here we go. Here you go.
Another one. Ready.
So Mamas don't listen. You have children.
You have sons, teach them to wipe their ass, right?
That's what you. Do, of course.
Right. OK, how many times have we
encounter people don't know how to wipe their fucking ass?
(12:10):
A lot. Too many.
For to be an adult too many exactly, too many to.
Be an adult. I think about that a lot.
Here it is a lot. It and that's sad and.
Then they're adultmen there, they could have done something.
Yes, exactly. Now Charles, you got testicles
as a man, but do you back wipe like you put your arm behind
your back when you're wiping your you tush or do you go like
(12:32):
frontal under your balls and wipe your ass?
There you go. Okay, so you can reach your ass.
You got long arms, you're good. Okay, let me tell you, this guy,
he was God, he was in high school still and I was 21 and I
was first. I felt bad because I was like,
Oh, well, he's 18, but he's still in fucking high school,
(12:54):
right? So he calls me one night and
he's like, hey, you want to comeget me?
I'm at a hotel party. We're celebrating this football
win and blah, blah. I'm like, God, I'm 21 and doing
this. I'm fucking a high school
student. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Right? It was, it was great.
It was. Yeah.
And you know, he was great in bed in a lot of ways.
And at this time, I'd already had sex with him once before.
(13:15):
So I'm like, OK, you know, I'll drive out.
We'll go do this. So I picked him up.
He's staying at this hotel. I bring him back to my place
because he's sharing a hotel room with obvious other friends.
Not doing it. So I take him back to my house
and we're having sex. Now, at some point, he went down
on me at the very beginning. Cool.
Not a problem. I go down on him, I'm like,
(13:37):
yeah, I'm not doing this becauseI smelled straight up shit.
Yeah. So then I told him I'm like, you
know, I'm. I'm just not feeling well.
I'm not feeling well. I keep just smelling these
smells and just, I, I just don'tfeel well.
I, you know what? I think I'm gonna go ahead and
let, let's, let's just take a shower and call it a day.
And he wasn't very happy with this.
(13:58):
He's like, well, I'll go ahead and get, get off myself, get a
hand job and blah, blah, blah. I'll, I'll masturbate.
I'm like, yeah, you go ahead anddo that 'cause I wouldn't Jack
his Dick. He was not happy.
I don't give a fuck. OK.
So anyway, he's like, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and have my
friend just come pick me up. I said, you know, that'd be
easier so I don't have to drive all the way back where I got
you. Damn.
(14:19):
He leaves, and I noticed how he flipped the covers back down on
the bed. I'm like, that's odd.
Yeah, instead of a snail trail, I got a shit trail about four
inches wide. And he wiped. 7 inches, Yes, It
was clumped shit, about an inch high.
Like he hit shit himself. Yeah.
(14:42):
So I'm thinking, you know, I've seen this before.
When men have an orgasm, they'llhave such a strong orgasm that
they'll shit themselves. Really.
Yes, never heard. Of that, neither.
Yes. Maybe after doing it with the
dildo? He didn't have a dildo in him,
but yeah, people dildos, absolutely.
But it. Happened.
It happened dildo but. Never with vaginal sex.
(15:04):
I've never heard of that. He was probably drinking before
all this, you know, maybe he hisphysical body was he just
couldn't handle it. Maybe he just let go in too many
ways. But when he did that, then he
continues to call me and it was,you know, non-stop calling and
and I finally said look, enough is enough.
You shit on my bed. You smelled like shit.
(15:26):
I'm not fucking nasty. OK, Best of luck in your life.
Did he at least buy you new sheets?
Of course not. He was.
A fucking He's a high schooler. OK.
God, shame on me. That's what I got.
I was like, after this, no more high schoolers.
Even if they're 18. Yeah, all right.
I sound like a fucking. Perfect.
Any other odors? I mean, the only one I know of
(15:47):
is kind of like your story, the guy that I had sex with in the
hotel not too long ago. Yeah.
Oh yeah. He left a little poop line.
It was like a butt crack where you just sat down and he was
just sitting there. He didn't wipe, he was just
sitting there. So you gotta think about it.
Just oozing out of his butt. What was the term?
Was it blunking? That's when you're pooping and
you get a blowjob whenever you get pooping.
(16:09):
That was it. OK, wonderful.
I've never done. That I've never done that
before. That's not on my.
List gag. I would never.
Have that on my list. Some people do that though.
So sick. I'll tell you something that's
super nasty. This is really funny though.
Awesome. So I'm always getting random
messages from people. Just random.
They'll send me videos, they'll send me Dick pics.
(16:29):
And I'm like look, I know we have to advertise as doms.
A lot of people misconstrue thatand think we're hookers when
clearly we're not going to fuck these people.
Clearly that is not the situation, but this guy sent me
a video and he has this nice bigDick and he's squatting and you
can see that he's in a public bathroom and he's like standing
(16:51):
over a drain or squatting over adrain, OK.
And you see him jacking his Dick.
Well, then all of a sudden you see him squat so good and squat
down lower that you see this huge, huge log of poop, just
shit coming out of him. This huge one big caramel log of
shit, right? He picks it up and starts
(17:13):
descriptive. Words.
I was sitting here cringing. I don't even know.
I can't even imagine what the audience is thinking right now.
Get this part? He starts jacking off with it.
You know, I saw a video that onetime but.
He grabbed. It he grabbed the shoe and
starts jacking his Dick with his.
Own shit yes, I saw a woman do far worse with it on the video.
(17:34):
Help me Lord days. That was disgusting.
Yeah. So Needless to say, I sent that
to all my friends. I.
Would too you? Would right?
That looks weird. Yes.
It reminds me of the Alaska pipeline.
Yes. Well, they somebody that took a
shit into a condom and then theyfroze it and then they use it as
a gel bell on somebody. Yeah.
(17:56):
How they. You know, the Urban Dictionary
is full of all kind of interesting little things and
some other human being is set around the thought of this shit
and somebody's done it. But the the Cleveland Steamer, I
guess this one, a woman takes a dump on your chest, and then I
guess it was the the Cleveland steamroller is when she takes a
dump on your chest and then she sits on it and rocks back and
forth. There's all kind of nasty shit
(18:18):
out there. Yeah, I had a friend and he
would always talk about his coworker and he was just like,
yeah, you know, I, I make my wife shit on my chest, but I
make her do it in a paper plate so I can see it come out.
Oh and so then my friend says well why not use a piece of
plexiglass and then that way youcan put it right there by her
(18:40):
ass and have it over your face so you can see it coming out.
Somebody did that with a Saran wrap on his face and then she
took the dump that way it kept it clean.
He got the the whole visual and then you got to feel the heat,
so to speak. Feel the heat?
(19:01):
Sounds like a commercial? Let's.
Move to a different subject. You know, how long has it been
'cause you could might do a different episode because we
went way the hell off course of what we were going to talk
about. Well, that's OK.
No, we're, we're good. We're right. 20 minutes.
We're going to go into God bless.
We can do your your one story and then we'll do our actual
(19:25):
topic on our next episode. How about that?
That won't be a plan, OK. OK, so Charles told us an
outrageous story. Liv has only heard part of it.
It's quite interesting. OK, I met a couple on caller
space or caller me, whichever one it was at the time and I
basically went to go visit them for a week to help out around
their house. They had a it was some bad
(19:46):
weather. I work as a handyman so I was
going to offer just to help themout.
They sent me their e-mail address so I did a reverse look
up just to see who I was dealingwith and then I saw their mug
shots. Oh this is interesting what had
happened. I'm not going to send the exact
charges. They had to live in slave for a
while, a transsexual woman. One night they had her chained
(20:07):
up outside butt naked with a chain around her neck attached
to a post. Now apparently she needed
medication and was not on it, soshe got loose and ran down the
highway wearing nothing but a chain around her neck dragging
her post. So the top finds her and picks
her up. They're thinking, oh, my God,
this is human trafficking, slave.
(20:27):
You know, something horrible went wrong.
So they went and arrested the couple that I knew.
OK, They never went to prison, but they stayed in jail for
months waiting for a trial. Nothing ever came of it because
they figured out what had happened.
This was all consensual. But there were a lot of legal
problems, like they lost custodyof their children and they went
into confiscated guns and all kind of stuff in their home
(20:49):
because they couldn't, you know,civilize that forfeiture.
When a cop comes into your home,they start taking shit.
But they had a live in slave andshe'd been around for like
several years and then they kepther outside because that was her
thing. And I guess she went batshit
crazy one night and ran down thestreet naked with a dog called a
dead dog chain dragging her post.
But anyway, they were trying to prosecute him for something.
(21:11):
I don't know if it was human trafficking or, you know,
keeping a hostage, but it was all voluntary.
But I guess the woman or whoevershe was finally came forward and
admitted to what happened and they got out of jail.
But they spent a few months in jail and it was consensual.
But I guess, you know, she just went batshit crazy one night.
But it was kind of, it's kind ofhorrible for them.
(21:32):
But when I think about the mental image of this person
running down the road like that,the poor cop, what the hell was
going on? But it was what it really was,
was a bunch of kinky fuckers. Anyway, the way I told the story
me, I got a laugh out of it. I thought it was great because I
thought, my God, could you imagine seeing this?
(21:52):
I called him on it because I'm like, OK, I read your, I saw
your mug shots online. It's like, oh, you went looking
around and then they explained it to me and I looked up some
more. OK.
So I went to go meet him and I helped him out, you know,
working on their house because Iget it.
Shit, sometimes Half that was. I thought it was funny.
It's funny, it's funny. You know, to me this is where
you need to have a written contract or a written agreement
(22:16):
or something that is notarized SO50.
Shades of Grey did that. Even that though, I mean, a
lawyer would see, I mean, it depends on what a judge wants to
do, you know, like I can tell you everything I want, but it
depends on what law, local law is being violated and how the
how the law wants to treat it, you know?
One thing of it is the damn trainee shouldn't have been
(22:37):
running down the damn St. in thefirst place.
But she was fucking crazy. Yeah, clearly.
Oh, we're crazy. So sometimes you have to deal
with shit like that, you know? Oh goodness, silly tranny.
They're gonna cancel this for that one.
Oh I love my trans people as. I know the human centipede.
(22:58):
I've heard about it and saw clips So what the fuck.
Are you getting right back to shit and vomit?
I don't think about it. The trainee and the butt and the
poop and yeah, how's it going? 'Cause that poor person in the
middle was like, you know, eating Doo Doo and.
Pooping in somebody's mouth Theythey tie their mouth to their
anal. Put to the reason I know about
(23:18):
that is from an episode on SouthPark, you know there's. 2.
There's two. There's a human centipede 2.
Yeah, I've never heard of that. I watched it.
I'm not that curious. I enjoyed it, watched it with my
ex-husband. He was into it too.
OK. Yeah.
Was it like a slave thing or just.
It felt like a slave thing like they he treated like this.
It was 3 humans attached to eachother and he treated the this
(23:40):
thing as like a pet and he was taking care of it like a dog.
Wow, yeah OK, I might have to look at more clips but.
It was a good movie. It was very interesting.
I actually want to watch it again now.
It makes you sick. It'll make your tummy hurt.
I think I'd brought short NATO first.
I've never gotten to a full a full movie of that shit.
It's without laughing without laughing, right?
(24:02):
There's no way in hell I can go without.
There's a 5 headed shark lookingand it's 4 headed shark and at
the very end you see the 5th head.
It's his tail and he's just going wow.
It's so. Dumb.
I literally had a Fast forward because I was like where's the
5th head? I we just fast forwarded into
the end, We're like. The last one I saw, I guess they
were in orbit, there were sharksin orbit, and there's a shark
(24:24):
falling down from the sky, hit the ground, and then somebody
chainsawed out of the shark and I was like, are you fucking
kidding me? I don't know which one it was
like. A bad dream.
That's the thing, we're trying to make it as bad as possible.
And they just kept raising that bar.
But I've never been able to sit through a full movie of any of
those, just certain clips. And I'm like, you know, I could
(24:45):
do something stupid like this. They're.
Making a lot of money. They have like 5 different
sharknadoes. I don't.
Know how much money they made itat party $28.00 and some coffee
but I mean. I mean, a lot of people watched
it out of curiosity. It's OK.
I guess we got way off course onthat one.
OK, human centipede and, you know, escaping little slaves and
(25:08):
shit and stinky vaginas. She was engraved, yeah.
How dare she? Shame.
Compromising the dynamic she should got punished.
Yeah, she should have. Well, too late then.
I don't know what had happened. She punished them by not.
Coming sooner and I'm put in jail anyway.
The pot was hot though. For her to be put in that way of
(25:29):
like, Oh yeah, this happened to me.
You got to play out like a fan off the in a way.
With the cops and I forget the truth of man, you fucking
lunatic. Yeah, it'd been one thing if
she'd stayed on the property, but it's a whole other thing.
The fact that she left the property would.
Have been more interesting if she found a cop that was in the
lifestyle. Oh.
God, I've been hot. No record.
Come on. Yeah, I.
(25:51):
Put you in my basement. I want to show you what escape
proof means. Yeah, and that's the truth.
I I've met an individual, he's law enforcement in Texas who has
a private ranch and he, he's gayand he brings guys onto his
ranch for like serious prison treatment.
I didn't go there, but I just talked to him online and I'm
like, holy shit. I mean, they, they take it like
(26:12):
old school prison, like the 1900s with like torture and
shit. And he has volunteers come out
there and they are, yeah, they're not getting away.
OK. Sorry.
I like you. I was going to say, that's
interesting. Interesting people online.
You know, I read that story about the human ponies and it
(26:32):
was, to me, it had like a new New Zealand or Sweden vibe, the
way they talked about it. And it was millionaires and
billionaires that were in this elite group and any opportunity
they had to kidnap someone, or by someone so to speak, they
would turn them into human ponies.
(26:53):
That's part of the real life shit.
That happened, Yeah. Well, someone, you know, they
wrote that story on Gag Utopia and the the little, the little
intro said this is strictly fictitious, blah blah blah.
And I'm thinking. Yeah, bitch, I think.
Yeah, I think this might be a little more real than what we
like. Very interesting, real things
(27:15):
happen. OK, how do you be a human pony
though? What's what's the SO?
They they get the the bit, they put it in your mouth.
They have some that according tothe fetishes, you know, they
have them to where they're electrical and you can't speak.
They put on full headgear. They put hooves on you so you're
unable to use your hands. You know, they basically put
(27:37):
your body and contort it in a way that looks like a horse.
What I saw, they had like, the knees bent and then they put the
hoof on the knee. Yeah.
So their legs were taped together so they couldn't get up
and run. They had to walk on their knees
and then like a hoof on the knee.
They were. Yeah, they were going to stay
that way. Yeah, this one that I read, it
was talked about a lot of like anal play and rape and and the
(27:59):
other thing they did, they put like a bag feeders just like
they would a horse. You know, they would have bags
of sloshy mixed food and minerals and vitamins that
they're supposed to eat as humans, but they put it together
in this mush. Yeah.
Gross. Topic again, have you seen The
Farm? They had a bunch of women as
Hugh cows and they were milking them and making cheese out of
(28:21):
the milk. It was messed up.
That's called the Farm and I think you can watch it on
Netflix. I think one of the movie.
Day. And whatever the fuck that.
Is no, it was don't have some weird shit going on.
They would have the farm workerswere wearing like pig outfits or
pig pig mask and they were fucking people up.
It was but a friend of mine who's into some real dark shit,
(28:44):
the one I told you about the other day where she went to the
warehouse to get, you know, CNC that that's her dream reality.
He's getting locked up in the cage and treated like that.
I mean, it was, it's called the farm, but it's very specific.
I have to look it up one day and.
You know, I've watched some who cow, human cow porn and they
(29:05):
will use this animal, the actualanimal nipple devices milking
machines, yeah, versus the humanmilking machines Yeah, they.
Cut them utters and it was like pumping, like, you know, like
reciprocating. I was apparently hurting their
tits. But yeah, people go into that.
Ohh yeah, why not? Right.
I'd watch it as long as it was, you know, consensual.
(29:27):
Between a cow. No, no.
An actual woman A. Human female having her her
tits, yeah. Hu is human cow, but they call
her cow. Oh, OK.
All right, yeah, that's a big fetish if you look up Hoo cow
porn. Hoo cow.
Yeah, they treat them. There's a few people like being
treated like livestock. It's like a former slavery, but
(29:47):
they're not even human anymore. They treat them as like these
animals. They put them in a barn, they do
all sorts of shit with them, butthen they rape them in between.
I know you're like, oh, sounds sexy.
I've done a lot of foreign work.To me that's not hot to two
inches on if you want to go to astable and get milked.
(30:09):
What? If they turned you into a horse
and put you in a stable. It's just not my thing.
OK. It's it never was.
I'll watch somebody else do it. It just was never a fantasy.
Like this woman, she had a transporter.
It was a big metal trailer, but she got real fancy in the high
end of it and she had a hidden door and she had the human
(30:32):
ponies like like compressed in the these little stalls and you
couldn't see it because it was in the very back of the trailer.
Though it might be in case it's.Cool.
But not not like, you know, transformed to an animal, maybe
treated like 1, you know, Yeah, I just but I have nothing to
milk. I think it'd be fun to be
transformed into an animal, I guess.
(30:53):
Oh, see which one? I don't know.
I'm thinking about the horse. Oh, because I can't.
Move a pony thing. It's not really because I want
to be a horse, I'm just saying like.
I just want to be immobilized. Yeah.
Like a like chained up inside ofa cage where you can't, you
really can't move. Maybe have you lined up to the
back so somebody can have accessto it?
Yeah. Where you're.
Like a literal prisoner, yeah. The degradation of it all or.
(31:15):
Somebody could just duct tape you up where you can't move and
just use you as a piece of meat.I'll look at her, she's got a
smile on her face. The chair is going to be wet by
the time we're done, so let's close it up from here, shall we?
Yeah, hopefully it won't get banned.
Well, you know, Charles, you're the birthday boy, so why don't
(31:36):
you do the closing today? Do a sexy.
All right, hold on. I'm not done.
I got to do it. I got an intro now.
I got it. Exit.
You ready? All right.
Wow. So until then, Liv Charles This
has been the latest episode of. Call me misters.
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