KINKS KINKS AND MORE KINKS

MIA AND CHARLES SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT STRANGE FETISHES AND KINKS! ARE YOU READY FOR IT?!

Episode Transcript

(00:07):
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I've got with me,
Charles. Hello everyone.
All right, Charles, now we've been doing fetishes and kinks
and the things that a lot of people really don't realize is a
kink or a fetish. I'll.
See you another one right now. You do.

(00:28):
Please enlighten us. They're together all right.
One nasophilia fetish for noses.OK.
Directly linked to nasolingus, as in cunnilingus, A fetish for
sucking on someone's nose. Never done that.
Interesting. I've heard of Eskimo kisses but
never nose sucking, so have you tried it?
I have bitten someone's nose. Obviously I have licked the

(00:53):
exterior of someone's nose, being silly and playful, but I
think my dog Poppy has that fetish because she loves
cleaning out noses and sucking them.
So that's about as close as I'vegotten to nasophilia.
OK, I will try it. All right.

(01:13):
The right circumstances, OK, I don't want to do it during cold
and flu season. No, no.
To each his own. I never thought about giving
somebody's nose a blowjob. You know, Abby would probably
let you do that. Probably, or just do it for
shits and giggles to. She's so fun.
Yeah, she's so fun and freaky. It's great.
Debating whether or not to mention these next two, but it

(01:35):
is a fetish. Debating or masturbating?
Debating wondering why we can always push the delete button.
All right. Nullification kink for removing
a body part. This is very dangerous and right
next to it says nullo, an extreme kink for removal of
genitals and practice. Nullo is very dangerous and can
even be fatal. No shit.

(01:56):
OK. You don't say Yeah.
So have you ever thought about that?
Just being a eunuch. I have, honestly, it's just, I
know it's not a healthy fetish, but it kind of pops up once in a
while. Yeah.
I just try to fight the urge. But I've seen people on Fetlife
who've had body parts. That's why I mentioned it,
because apparently it's the thing.
I don't know what the reasoning is.

(02:17):
And it's not always genitals. There's a guy, I saw his profile
and he wanted his arms and legs removed.
Don't know why it's each his own, but my God that one's a bit
heinous. That one's out Crazy, yeah.
Something, something happened. Something should have happened
there. Something happened.
But I just brought that one up because I remember seeing this
guy's profile and he'd already had, like, an arm removed and it

(02:39):
was a stump and his leg, one of his legs was gone.
I'm like, oh, my God, I don't know how these people are doing
this. It's, you know, OK.
Well, I do know that I met someone years ago, before I ever
got on Fetlife, because I was probably 16 and I met someone in
a local community and he had talked about, you know, his

(03:00):
friend who was in the West Coast, and he actually got his,
you know, Dick and balls removed, went through the whole
process. He did it for his mistress.
He didn't want any part of it. She didn't want any part of it.
That was it. OK, then we got to move on from
this one. Yeah, scary, right?
Another interesting fetish. Might give someone some ideas.

(03:21):
Yeah, it's not. You know, don't do that.
No, I'm no doctor, but man, you know, if you have your balls
removed, you can't enjoy CBT later and your mistress can't
enjoy it either. That's just as far as the other
parts. I look you, you need your hands
and everything else. But anyway, let's move on to
something more pleasant. Well, I don't know about
pleasant, but that's weird all. Right, go ahead.

(03:44):
Oculophilia, which is tied in toOculolinktis.
Oculophilia is an obsession withthe eyes.
OK, and I like eyes. Sure, window to the soul, but
this one I've never had. Is it licking?
Yes. Oculolinktis desire to lick
eyeballs, but I've actually heard of somebody who who liked
to do that. OK, no explanation why, just

(04:06):
lick an eyeball. OK, if anybody out there has
ever done this, please tell me why I.
I had an excellent who liked to do that.
To lick an eyeball, yes. OK, any explanation?
No, no, I honestly, I wasn't toocurious about it, but he's like,
oh, can I lick your eyeball? I'm like, good for it.
I could see if I had something in there, like an eyelash.
We didn't have a tissue. Hey, rock on.

(04:27):
But it never jumped out at me. I thought I was into a lot of
things, but the more I read and learn, I'm like I'm just
scratching the surface. I know, I know.
That's Speaking of which, OK, licking things, Adantophilia,
general fetish for teeth, which can include biting, licking
teeth or even removing them. I know guys, they have had their

(04:50):
teeth removed because they want to be a better slave and it
makes them give oral. And I guess maybe it's a power
thing, you know, having a mastercompletely modify them.
Biting. It can be fun for me in general,
licking teeth. This sounds familiar.
Somebody, I can't remember who it was.
Somebody did that. And, well, the girl was

(05:11):
complaining because, yeah, this guy wanted to lick my teeth.
I'm OK. Teaches on again.
Yeah. Does any of this ringing a bell
to you? No, can't say that it is.
Teeth licking but biting is probably you've heard of that a
lot. Oh yeah, and I bite people all
the time. Oh, you did bite somebody a
while, but. Yeah, I did.
He had jealous. Oh, I'm going to say it.

(05:32):
Mandy Candy. OK.
Yeah. Mandy Candy's got a biteable ass
my. Mistress has not bitten me, but
I have no ass to bite. You do not.
OK, go on here. Oh factophilia attraction to
smells, especially pungent body odors.
We've met a lot of guys who likereally stinky feet and armpits.

(05:55):
So OK, whatever your thing is. Listen, I can always tell the
shit eaters, AJ. Right under the bus.
I can, yeah. I don't care.
He doesn't care. He's cool, OK.
He doesn't. He admits he doesn't he.
Admits it. Yeah, absolutely.
I can always tell a shit earder a mile away or a butt sniffer a

(06:16):
mile away. We have this one gentleman.
I have seen him for years. You know, he was raised from a
bougie background, very wealthy family.
He has the capability that he'llgo to Colorado, to Vail, He'll
snowboard and ski, you know, allduring the winter.
And then for the summer, he has a boozy job in the Keys, you

(06:39):
know, but in between times, he comes to see Mr. Smea because
why? He wants to smell an asshole.
Well. I wouldn't want to smell yours.
Well, the thing of it is he likes to smell dirty asshole,
but it's very difficult to get asmelly asshole.
You got to time it you. Got to time it.
You got to be able to fart in the.

(06:59):
Face you got to make a run for the border and get yourself a
bunch of tacos and burritos, maybe some Thai food.
That's gross, Charles. I'm not going to subject myself
to that. However, I will say you don't
like the border. What?
You don't like the border? I make Mexican cuisine far
better than Gaga Hell. OK, but here's the deal.

(07:21):
Yeah. No sponsorship from them.
No, no sponsorship. Sorry.
It is. That is fake beef in a barrel.
I mean, it is, it's, it's gross.Sometimes it's good you know
when you're high and you want something good.
It was really good. Much warning.
It's good. Not so good though.
It's good in your 20s when you're stoned, you know, I can

(07:42):
remember those days. However not in your 40s.
It's that's like acid indigestion waiting to happen.
But any who's this gentleman, hecomes to the dungeon one night,
OK, It's been a couple years back.
We got to throw some stories in there, you know?
Oh yeah, it's more fun this way.It is fun how well you know the
actual this shit has happened. This shit has happened

(08:04):
literally. Anyway, anyway, we have this
little face sitting seat, not the red one, it's a black one.
And it's, it's just enough that someone can lay down and they
can put their head right in thatseat, you know, So you can

(08:26):
imagine it's maybe 10 inches high from the, from the floor
up. Just enough for a head and a few
inches of space. Yeah, that's it.
And it's it's just solid black. It's actually driftwood that
someone made for me. Nice.
And it's traditional queening chair, right?
So anyway, so one night I wantedto be fun.
I put them up on the slave box. I put the queening chair up

(08:48):
there around his head, and I said, hey, Bree, I know you can
do this. She has a big phobia about
farting. She doesn't like to fart in
front of people. OK.
Because her mother was always just like, that's nasty.
Don't you do it? I'm just constantly she would
berate. I know the parent fucking of a
child. You know this.

(09:09):
That's how we all got here. There you go.
So anyway, I said, Brie, you gotto overcome it.
I said get up on the box, sit onthe queening chair backwards so
you're facing away from him and I want you to fart.
I said she's like, is this why you fed me what you fed?
And I'm like, yeah, I gave her some good food because I knew he
was coming that night, right? So anyway, so she's up there.

(09:31):
She's like, oh God, I can't do this, I can't do that.
I was like, shut the fuck up, you better fucking do it anyway.
So I'm telling this guy I'm like, go ahead, start playing
with yourself, go for it. So as he's jacking his Dick,
Bree let's out this massive fart, right?
You can imagine. Is it a good Peter Griffin fart?
Yeah, nice. Nice.

(09:53):
Yeah. Oh, Peter.
Oh yeah. So anyway, so this happens and
immediately, as soon as she farts and his nose is right
there in her asshole, he fuckingshoots us load.
Nice. But my point with all these ass
sniffers, shit eaters, shit smellers, they are all grubby,

(10:18):
gross looking. They all have this dirty smell
to them. None of them ever have clean
fingernails. They're just fucking gross.
Look at the word for the gay guys that are into this is
called Rauch. Does that sound familiar?
Sounds familiar? Really nasty like caveman style.
Yeah, like. Or.
Sex dirty. Yeah.

(10:38):
Well, you know, again, it's a kink, you know, that's it Could
be. I mean, it's like caveman
coming. Out.
Yeah. The caveman, he's like, I'm
going to dominate you and I'm going to put you in the mud and
you know you're going to smell my scent or Yeah.
But you know, this guy, you know, he knew Brie was trans.
She represents really well and she's, you know, very passable.

(11:00):
And in the dungeon, man, she lether RIP it.
It was one of those things whereshe finally got over it to a
point. But when he did it, it was just
like perfect timing, you know? And it pop, it was done.
But you know, he's eating gummy worms out of her asshole.
I mean, he is. He loves that shit.
I'd probably try that from yours.

(11:22):
Sorry, you're still that's. OK, I'm just saying.
I have a Mia fetish people. But I had a hard time a lot of
times really having a smelly butt hole.
I don't like that. I use the bidet and everything
else. And sometimes he'd be like,
Mistress, can you go to the bathroom for?
I'm like, oh Jesus, I. Have Mia Filia for this for
Amelia. Anyway, here we go.

(11:42):
There we go, Tell me this is cool.
What's the next one, Charles? Piccatiophilia OK this for
sinning and breaking religious rules.
Oh goodness. Which is pretty much everything
other than men on top of woman, I guess, right.
And for the state of Mississippi, anyway, which
everything is still illegal other than man on top of woman
there. Yeah.
All right. Moving on Fallophilia obsession

(12:07):
with large penises Note many people share this kink what a
shock let's see oh phobophilia, sexual obsession with being
afraid. It's interesting, this fear play
is kind of not a common thing, but you know it.
It's fun when you're blindfolded, don't know what's
coming or. You know, I'm really good at
that. And like I said, my little slave
boy loves the fear. He loves it.

(12:29):
Oh yeah. The breath play thing.
He eats that shit up the other night, put a plastic bag on his
head and he's like, Oh no, no, no, I'm not in the mood for
this. Don't do it.
Don't. I'm like, shut the fuck up.
Put it on his head, made it tight with one hand and put my
hand over his mouth and his nose.
And then I have this little thing that I'll put my my 2
fingers, my pinky and my ring finger under his chin so he

(12:51):
can't try to, you know, grab airunder the bag.
Yeah. Scared the fuck out of him.
I'm a. Little bit jealous actually.
OK, well, we'll do it one night.Here is another fetish we all
have. I think we all have pictophilia
fetish for watching pornography.I just think that's just normal.
It's not. A few, yeah, OK.
Maybe I'm just that guy, I've been watching it a long time.

(13:15):
When did you first watch porn? Funny, funny thing when OK, so
when I was like 1920, I was working obviously in assisted
living. And so my friend and I, Dee, she
was great. On Friday nights, we would
always work a 33 to 11:11 to 7:00.

(13:37):
So we wait for everybody to go to sleep.
And then we would always, you know, swap porn.
We'd bring in a, you know, DVD. Lot of times it's VHS because
this is back in, you know, 99. But we would take turns.
We'd bring in guy, guy and guy porn and we'd watch amateur a
guy and guy. We'd wait for everybody to go to

(13:58):
sleep. We were in the living room of
the facility. We'd sit there and eat pizza and
watch porn. Good.
It's not like we were sitting there, you know, masturbating,
but I was watching. TV that's actually fun,
entertaining. Yeah, and we would come para
nose. We'd be like, oh, have you done
that? And I'm like, no, I'm a virgin.
Remember this D? Well, you said 19.

(14:19):
I started watching a lot earlierVHS tapes.
I was sneaky about it, but I knew I was liking this shit a
long, long time ago and it was in the 80s.
Well, you know, I can remember watching like, softcore, you
know, on HBO. I love that late at night.
That and skimax. Yes, after midnight you might go
to sleep and like the good shit comes on.

(14:41):
Yes. And I remember that's one of
them. I knew I was in the BDSM then
because I was I was not of age. And there was this show and
there was this woman talking to this guy and she everybody in
town thought he was gay because he wouldn't hang out with these
women. And she says, I know what you
really are. You need a stiffer wind to fill
your sails. And she tied them up and started

(15:01):
whipping them. And I was thinking, this is
before Quagmire came out, my version of Giggity and this,
yes, nice. But you know, I was not 19.
OK well get this so I can remember being like 8-9 years
old, OK watching one of those movies on HBO.
It was called Mandingo. Did you ever watch Mandingo?

(15:22):
Of it, I have not watched it yet.
You gotta fucking watch it because anybody who loves Black
Hawk will love this fucking movie, OK?
It's on the list. So obviously it's back in Civil
War era. It's Oh, OK.
Yeah, it's pre. Emancipation Proclamation.
Civil War. It's it's a little civil war,
but it's more or less like the maiden of the house married into

(15:46):
a wealthy family, but this family became poor very quickly
because of that that era. And she was felt really isolated
and while her husband was away, she liked to fuck this
particular black slave. And you know, he was into it.
She was into it. But the secret got out when she

(16:08):
had a mixed interracial baby. And so, you know, that went to
shit real quick. But the scenes were hot.
I can remember watching this at 8-9 years old.
Like, what the fuck? Why weren't my parents
monitoring the shit? Better you.
You ever watched Caligula? Yes.
Holy shit that was a straight upporn it.
Was. It was.

(16:28):
I gotta watch that again. It's been a long time.
Who's that guy? Roddy McDowell or no?
Hang on, the guy that was in Clockwork Orange?
I don't remember. Oh, it was one of those dudes
from the 70s that was like just,he played it perfect.
The Caligula real life was into everything, but he's been a
movie on it. But I'll tell you this much, a
lot of these guys that are in the military, they had this

(16:50):
little saying that when they would go away, their wife would
go Mandingo on them. We forget what we called it, but
when they when deployment time came up, yes, all the cars
changed parking spots. Whoever was on deployment was at
a new house afternoon. They almost called it like the
some kind of shuffle, but it wasfucking ridiculous.

(17:11):
Wow. But anyway, yeah, that's wow,
moving on. Crazy.
Plus Ophelia fetish for stuffed animals.
Oh, we get that all the time. ABDL guys, but I don't know if
it's, well, maybe there's a different kind of fetish.
Maybe they're these particular individuals are doing something
to their titty. I'm gonna move on from that.
It just could get nasty. Oh, no, it's not.

(17:33):
Why do you want to move on, Charles?
There's a lot of people that getturned on by inanimate objects.
We know this. OK, well.
Yeah, I'm real doll. I just can't see doing it to,
you know, a Care Bear. But maybe if I was in a bad mood
and wanted to make it pay, you can't.
Answer. Let me give you the Dick.

(17:56):
This one can't. Charles gets so focused, he's
like looking at this list, looking at this list.
What are a lot of fascinating things here?
I know focus one thing at a time.
I've known some people who have fucked care bears and towels.
I know pillows when I was young.See.

(18:16):
I had no other option. OK, well see, Liv, she had her
kool-aid pillow. We were just talking about that
a few episodes ago. A.
Kool-aid pillow. This is not ringing a bell.
Did she do something to it? Did she hump it?
Yes. Yes, and then her mom would give
her condoms. Or she'd find condoms and she'd
fill them with water and put them on her pillow.

(18:38):
Oh. Yeah.
Oh, did she freeze them first? No, no.
I learned something from the Army.
Yes, this is a separate subject.It's not filling condoms of
water. This if you ever heard of an
Alaska pipeline. Well, that would be something
you're going to tell me tell. Me.
It's nasty, but you two guys aregoing to love this.
Basically someone poops into a condom, you know the last long

(19:01):
log, they freeze it and then youfuck your partner with it and
they call that the Alaska pipeline with a frozen shit
sickle on a condom. I learned that from some Army
guys on the Iraq border. You know, in one of them times
when you have nothing else to do.
And I'm like, wow, I learned something new.
It can never unlearn that shit. And now all of you can have a
taste of my insanity. Ohh.
My God that's horrible. What was a real?

(19:23):
Thing and a lot of them knew about it and I'm like God damn,
I was about 10 years older than these guys and I'm like wow then
so that was in O seven. So the next generation is
probably even more interesting there.
Why would someone want to stick a frozen piece of shit and
they're asshole? I do a lot of shit too.
I'm sure people ask why you wantto get tied up and beat and you

(19:44):
have strap ONS in your butt and you know it's the end of the
day. You know you're not hurting
anybody or yourself. Do what you want.
Frozen popsicles OK. Speaking cold psychochrois
psycho sysm fetish dedicated to being cold, having sex with a
cold partner or using cold objects.
Ice cubes Cold dildos during sex.

(20:04):
Ice cubes are a big one, and I think we were talking earlier
about somebody sticking frozen strawberries up an anus and that
wasn't good because it might cause hypothermia.
I don't know about the hypothermia part, but I think it
can. Moderation.
Let's just do a little don't don't feel the entire cavity.
How about that? It can shock the body.
That's what I wanted to say. Yes.

(20:25):
OK, I. Might try a frozen strawberry.
I don't want to try a whole Alaska pipeline.
UK. Let's see what else we have
here. Can't pronounce that when we're
by any stretch. I'm going to go buy it.
This is 1. You don't have pubphilia.
The obsession with pubic hair. A love for pubic hair has been
expressed in literature and art.Bush, Big Bush.
And you are not a fan of the Bush?

(20:46):
No, not at all. Some people are.
Not at all. I like decorative pubic hair,
like a little landing strip or maybe a lightning bolt of.
Course you do, but hey. Why not?
But you know, I don't think it would look very good on me.
I could try it, but I can't see very well.
So it won't be a lightning bolt.It'll just be like a a man with
a what's the disease where you shake?
No, I'm not gonna go there. I used to go out with this guy

(21:07):
and when he finally got naked hehad not a landing strip but he
had fucking Hitler mustache. Like right above everything.
I'm like why? On a woman, yeah, that would.
Put on a dude A. Little Hitler stash.
Yeah, God. OK, pygophilia, partialism to
butts and seeing, touching and playing with him.

(21:29):
My God have I got that. And a lot of other people do
too. And so in the words are so makes
a lot. Yeah, anyway, good for him.
Cuerophilia, but it's spelled choiro.
Fetish for hands. Interesting.
You know, there's hand models out there, so I guess there are
people who look at them. I like them.
You know, a nice manicured red paint job on fingers.

(21:50):
Ours ready. Fism is the fetish for shoes and
footwear. I didn't know about that
particular name, but yeah, there's a lot of shoe guys.
I prefer the feet myself, but a nice pair of shoes is nice.
And you've had a lot of people into shoes, too.
Oh. Huge, huge.
It's. Just something a lot of us have
grabbed Ophelia the fetish for receiving physical beatings such

(22:11):
as flogging and whipping. Oh, absolutely.
Oh yeah, I guess giving it to this was one I'm looking forward
to robotism. And I do know, like, philia is
the other word for this king forAndroid male robots or gynoids
is a female robot. I didn't know that.
But the real dolls, the six dolls, and now they're making
them robots. I can't wait.

(22:32):
They're incredible. The future's going to be awesome
until they, you know, get tired of our shit and cut off our
testicles. But for those first few weeks,
it's going to be fun. I saw this one little bit.
It's it was a little a little clip and this guy, he was
showing a robotic arm and the robotic arm was in the position

(22:54):
of. Jacking.
Off. Yeah.
And they're like, oh shit, he pushed the wrong button.
That was American Horror Story. I watched it because they were
building the robot on to jerk somebody off and something went
wrong with her program and it like ripped whatever was on
there. I'm like, dude, you just like
took off half the Dicks of our customers or something like
that. But it was on American Horror

(23:15):
Story. It was funny.
That was great. OK.
Let's see interesting sneezing fetish.
A kink for watching someone elsesneeze.
This person is usually naked. Sneezing elicits a bodily
response somewhat similar to orgasm.
People with a these fetish mightalso participate in tickling and
forced urinating kinks. I'm OK, have not heard of that

(23:36):
one ever. You we've.
Got We've got about half a century between us.
Yeah, I've never heard of it. OK.
We're not going to that one sounding.
I didn't have a specific type ofname here though, but urethral
sounding is what they're Speaking of.
You know, we do that all the time in the dungeon and honestly
the best advice I can tell people is really make sure that

(24:00):
that is what you want to do. It's not for everyone, but they
do have surgical Lube and that'salways the better option to use
rather than to to do water basedLube.
So. OK, we talked about this one the
other day, stuffing, eating and to the point of physical pain.
But there was a girl who was being paid on one of these
websites to to keep eating as much as possible.

(24:22):
There's a feeder site. Feeders.
And you've met a few women who are paid to do that?
Yeah, they're paid pretty well. Yeah, Barbie actually talked
about that on an episode becauseshe was saying that she would go
on and, you know, people would send her money for the food and
money for the service to eat on camera in front of.
It Yeah, I don't get it. But you know, I really don't.

(24:44):
I don't either. I like, hang on, let me think
about this. I like women eating a hot dog or
a banana or licking an ice creamcone.
I have, I haven't seen that. But I I couldn't see, you know,
just the general, you know, having a meal and stuffing here.
So I don't want to see somebody stuffed.
I like erotic eating. You had an ice cream cone right
Now that would be I would you would have my attention.
Yeah, right. That's because I'm a pervert.

(25:05):
Did you ever see that that that movie Horrible Bosses he's
watching Jennifer Aniston was? The Winston.
Bateman. It was Jason Bateman.
You know, was that guys keeping Spacey?
Was he the horrible loss? Yes, I did see that, but it's
been a while. Oh, it was so great because of
course, Jason, Jason Sedikis says, oh, look at how she's

(25:25):
eating this. She she keeps going for phallic
like foods. You know, first it's it's a hot
dog with no bun. Who does that?
You. Know oh I've seen him when we
eat a corn dog yeah God she tooklike the whole thing it was it
was teases. OK here's 2 interesting one
you've been into telephonic Ophelia.

(25:46):
OK, phone sex. Yeah, that is for phone sex and
talking dirty over the phone. You're apparently very good at
that for a while. I've done that for a long time.
I see you still texting but I bet a phone call from you would
have been. Oh my God.
Did I tell you one time I was talking to a an insurance
salesman and he was on the phone, He was talking about my

(26:08):
homeowner's insurance at the time, and I could sense from the
way he was talking that he was acrossdresser.
Oh. Damn.
Yeah, psychic powers. I I don't know why I have that
ability to look at someone or hear someone to know they're
fetish, but I was like, so this is interesting.
You know, I'm having this conversation with him and I

(26:30):
said, tell me, we'll just call him Michael.
Michael, do you like to dress inwomen's panties?
And he's like, excuse me? How do you know?
Yeah, that's what he. Did he was like?
How did you know that? And I was like, Michael, I know
a lot of things just by listening to people's voice.

(26:53):
And man, we had about an hour long conversation and I think
that guy was finally creaming inhis little panties.
They. Gave you a good rate.
Fuck yeah, he gave me a good rate.
Nice sucked him out of it. It was great.
OK this. Conversation.
I mentioned this one briefly because I I googled it once,
just that of shits and giggles because I heard it.
Yeah, Tentacle fetish. Fetish for tentacles?

(27:15):
Animate about that recently. Yeah, but it's actually listed
here, so OK. And along with blueberry porn,
just go ahead, Google it. It just what the fuck?
What do they do with the blueberries?
They, they basically take a filmor any kind of porno, right?
And they, they alter the images.So like, remember Willy Wonka

(27:35):
and chocolate? I knew you were going to say
that. Yeah, why?
Are you Violet? Violet.
Yeah, and then they swell up like a blueberry.
Well, then they had the actors swell up like blueberries, and
then the blueberries have sex with each other.
And there's not just one video out there.
There's a lot. So apparently people watch this
stuff. And I watched a few just to
figure out, you know, why I moved on.
But, you know, I'll try something, you know, once or

(27:56):
look at it. Most of the time, there's very
little. I won't look at it at least one
time. And OK, I'm going to have to
look at this. I'm I'm interested now.
It's there. Because I'm like, how the fuck
do they find their genitals? I don't know if I got that far
with it. I've tried to block out certain
traumas in life. Moving on to you.

(28:17):
Let's finally get you. I know where this is going.
Underwear fetish. And OK, there's no fancy name
for the OK, we talked about thisearlier.
This is a little different erdication, using the nettle
plant to sting a partner's skin.The nettles, I have seen people
that were in the CBT and apparently there's a plant
called nettles and when you rub it against the skin, it's like

(28:39):
little tiny pricks and there's achemical secretive that causes
some sort of pain that they get into.
I've never tried and I've never met anybody personally who was
into it. Have you heard anybody request
this or? Never.
OK, I've seen a lot of pictures on Fetlife about it though and
that it's like a little branch and they run it across your
genitals and apparently I I havenever googled it to try it.

(29:02):
You know the last thing I need is an allergic reaction on my
schlong. I know, right?
OK. You poor little Dicky.
Let's see, oh, bits of Lagnia kink for being tied up at the
mercy of another, the person. And we've done a lot of that.
This one I actually debated on talking about, but I recall a
while back I saw a picture on Fetlife and it showed the clips

(29:26):
for sale. You know, where you go buy
certain types of porn. And for 2023 that it was an
image of the most search or the most bots porno in each state.
And like Mississippi was ball busting.
I was like OK most what people in the country were into
giantess and Amazon. You not the big women.
Yeah, there was 1. I had to Google it because I

(29:46):
didn't know what it was and it was from Michigan.
Vore VORE sexual desire to be eaten alive or to eat someone
while they were alive. Yeah, we're talking about that.
I had to Google it because I never heard of it, but I know a
girl on Fetlife. That's her.
That's her number one fetish. She has pictures of people being
trusted up, like turkeys puttingovens, like Hansel and Gretel.

(30:07):
Oh sweet Jesus. Like, OK, I just mentioned that
because it's a thing. Yeah, it's a thing.
And it was a thing big enough toget mentioned on clips for sale
that a lot of people in Michiganwere buying this thing, OK.
Now, Charles, I'm going to tell you we're talking about Amazon
women. We talked about midgets the
other day. Oh yeah.
And I'm going to say I watched aporn last night and I thought
about you. You.

(30:27):
Didn't let me know. No, I didn't let you know.
That's cold. You need to go to sleep.
It was 2:00 in the morning. I was working.
Anyway, you know what it was a woman getting fisted by a Midget
and his whole arm was in that thing.
Damn, it was good. I sent it to you.
You'll like. It Oh, they're Speaking of that.
This is something called Wham wet and messy fetish.

(30:50):
I'll leave it at that because that was it sounded wet and
messy. All right.
Not a lot of W's here, water sports, but it's actually
Europhilia, golden showers. Yeah, there's also, it's not
listed here, but water bondage, it's something I've seen a lot
of on FET and that's pretty interesting.
Yeah, we've done that before, but you know, kind of nice.
Yeah. And it's some of it's pretty.

(31:12):
One of my friends, Sophie, she got tied up.
I've got pictures of it on my FET live page.
She went in in the pool with bondage to get out.
Oh nice. Yeah, she was like a little, you
know, escape artist. It was pretty cool.
I was like, look at you, Sophie.Some of the websites a little
rougher, yeah, like, Oh yeah, being forcefully under tanks.

(31:34):
I can imagine. Wax Play is another one.
We've talked about it in here before.
It's one of my personal favourites.
OK, there's some people it's pretty, some people it's I love
the the feeling of it. I've been doing that since I was
a. Long time.
Yeah, I was. I was curious.
Started trying it. I'm like, oof, I like this.
What? To the exes, this is cool.
Xenophilia, sexual attraction toexotic people or objects.

(31:57):
You've got a thing for foreigners, and so do I.
Absolutely. Especially the accents.
I guess that counts. Absolutely.
Japanese for me, that was alwaysmy number one thing.
And I think you like the Brits, right?
I, you know, I love Brits, I love Greeks, Italians, it don't
matter. I see the four exotic people, I
see the exotic objects. I'm not quite grabbing that, you

(32:19):
know, maybe if somebody's got a thing for a Cortana I.
Was going to say yeah, maybe it's an artifact, maybe
something an exotic artifact or something.
OK, I'm like a violin or I'm sure there's a music.
Something sexy. Sexy furniture, You know, like
wood carved furniture or something.
Never really been a thing for me.
Yeah, it's to me, it's sexy. You know, sexy furniture says so

(32:42):
much. All right.
Yeah, why? This one was hard.
We were looking for a why a while back.
Now there are two here, right? One is called Yeefing.
You talk about it. Go ahead.
IFFING sex with stuffed animals or furry.
Now the other website I was on it's described as being sex
between two furries. Yeah, so I'm thinking like the

(33:03):
Easter Bunny fucking the chickencostume, Why not?
But I'm not. I'm not into the furries.
I've only seen brief references of it on Tell Me.
To watch some furry porn becauseI'll check it out.
They have some furry costumes that they put on and it's it
exposes their genitals so they can have sex and their entire
wardrobe of being a furry. Well, I had thought about

(33:25):
wearing an Easter burning costume with a strap on last
Easter just to, you know, bring my little presents to everybody.
And it the idea kind of fell through because I guess the, the
costumes weren't available. I I waited too late.
Yeah, I still wouldn't mind it, but I just don't see volunteers
lining up for this. You never know, although.
They would be hilarious. You want to show me your Easter
eggs? Well, there you go.

(33:46):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Well that would be the vibratingaid to go in the ass while I do
it on the strap. But I will say I've talked about
it before but I dated a a furry OK and he had a boyfriend and we
all had a good time together quite often.
Did he wear the costume with you?
No, He would wear like, the buttplug, tail and the ears and that

(34:06):
kind of thing. Would they count?
But they're fuck yeah counted because we would do things that
were animalistic, like lick eachother's mouths, OK.
You know, instead of like a French kiss, it was like licking
each other with open mouths, like.
Like like a puppy kiss or something.
Yeah, like licking each other, you know, all over.
OK, another Y and I have never heard of this.

(34:28):
OK, this is spelled with AY, beastiality.
OK, sexual activity involving bread, especially warm dough.
Why? Maybe it was just somebody got
bored and just needed something to fuck.
But sexual activity involving bread?
Huh? OK, never heard of it.
Well, on that note, let's go fuck some loafs, Charles, you

(34:49):
almost done. You got AZ.
At least get AZ. Get AZ, get one Z let's.
Get zelophilia arousal due to jealousy.
Either your own or someone else's jealousy.
I'm thinking cuckold. Oh yeah.
But I've never heard of that one.
Absolutely. And then there's zentai, which
is the suits. And I'm not getting to the other
words because they start with the word zoo.

(35:11):
You can do the math. I'm not doing it.
Well, I've met hey there cat suit on Fetlife.
OK. He has a podcast show as well.
Super great guy but that's what he loves is Zentai suits.
They look kind of cool. Yeah, I've honest in the latex.
You know, I've only worn the latex.
I haven't tried Zentai, but it looks interesting.
But he does a lot of the zentai and he does a lot of bondage

(35:34):
with it, so a lot of the shibariand suspension and everything is
pretty hot. Cool, check it out.
Yeah, check it out. All right, Charles.
It's been interesting as always,so.
Look on your face, says another word, and interesting it.
Says damn, that's a lot of fucking.
Fetish. It's such a contempt.
Oh no. No.

(35:55):
No, not. At all, but I never heard about
the used one. That's interesting.
No, I'm still kind of stuck on that.
In my mind, it's like I. Guess you could take like a
skinny French loaf and fuck oneself with it.
I'm thinking maybe like a? Have you always wanted to fuck
an apple pie? Has that been a thought of
yours? No, no, not only from American
Pie, I saw that, but it's a goodway to get burned.

(36:16):
And it's just a mess. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm a simple
guy. I'll fuck my hand.
Yeah. There's just no reason to make a
mess with kitchen utensils. And you know.
And good food. I'll probably do it on a dare,
but you know, I quit drinking a while ago so I kind of don't do
as much stupid shit as I used to, but I bet a loaf of bread
has been fucked by somebody. Well, maybe I need to get you to
fuck a melon. Well, if you insist.

(36:39):
Absolutely. All right, Charles.
Until then, this has been the latest episode of Call Me
Mistress.