September 8, 2025 • 39 mins
THIS IS REALLY A GOOFY EPISODE.. LIV GOES ON ABOUT GROSS THINGS AS USUAL.. POE IS ACTIVELY BEING VERY SILLY AND MIA IS ALMOST ANNOYED WITH THEIR SILLY ANTICS. SO MUCH FUN AT THE MANOR!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:08):
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me the great,
the Sexy Madame. Live Hola super sexy.
Super sexy, I like that. You just so fucking.
Cute. Hey, hey, y'all.
(00:30):
And then over in the far corner we've got Master Viper, Little
PO. Welcome to the Manor my friends.
All right, so PO comes today with the shot caller that I just
got my Sissy and he said it is much stronger than his.
(00:50):
Definitely got a bite to it. So give you give you a little
scenario. I told you, you showed me how to
work it because I don't like thedials, I like the buttons.
The buttons are so much more, you know.
Makes more sense. It does.
It's logical. I know that those the button
with the little bolt means it's going to shock them exactly.
That's it. That's.
(01:10):
It exactly, and Needless to say,I did a scene with my sub and
I'll just break it down for you all really quickly.
He ended up drinking my coffee, which was full of Miralax and
sugar free Creamer. OK, he doesn't really listen to
this podcast, however, he recently listened to it, but it
(01:31):
was kind of funny because you know, he kind of thought, oh
God, the podcast oh podcast sound boring.
And I'm like you what you listento this other podcast and they
ask questions all the fucking time.
They ask stupid fucking questions.
Anyway. I was like, yeah, they're not
number one, you know, we're not fucking number one in sexuality
in the fucking world. Hello.
(01:53):
Anyway, so I have to brag about that.
We're fucking awesome. Hey, thank you PO.
She is. Going to be, yeah, going to do
something. Be the best at it.
Exactly. So anyway, so my little Sissy,
he ends up drinking all his coffee and my big fucking
(02:14):
Tumblr, he's drinking it. He comes to a scene.
I stick a big fucking anal hook in his asshole.
We're doing this scene. I'm electrocuting him with Liv's
violent wand, the conductive my fingertips and then I use the
fucking dog collar. One on his Dick and balls and
then one on his neck. Double trouble.
(02:34):
Double trouble. And so then I play it up like.
Which button do I push? Where does this?
Do you know, well, well, we wereplaying with the one you're
wearing and I said you showed mehow to work it because it has
the dial up top. And so I'm like, I'm like, oh,
I'm trying to do the dial and itgoes from 8 to 46 really fucking
(02:55):
quick. And I was like, God damn, like
what's going on, you know? So anyway, I ZAP him one time on
an 8, next thing I know I go to ZAP him again and holy fuck
balls he got a 46 and he got 2 little prong marks on his.
Neck. And I don't if you'll realize
this. He is a baby fucking bitch.
He is. He's a baby.
Fucking bitch. Oh my God, he's such a baby.
(03:17):
Shock me and I. Came in and I.
Grabbed me so I did the vibration and it little bit
scared of me. Telling you what to do?
That's not intelligent. That's.
How you get shocked? Yes.
Yes. And what's really funny is he's
like, you know, the most intensething we've ever done is that
(03:38):
hook. Well, he ends up it triggered
something in him and it wasn't the electricity, it was the
mirror lights and the look. So we did like an hour scene.
He's like, I can't do this anymore.
I got to go. But you know, he's on his tippy
toes on heels, cranked up with the wench, hooked up with the
anal hook and his asshole. And he was very uncomfortable,
(04:00):
but he had shackles on his handsand his feet and he loved it.
He loves being in predicament bondage.
Fucking loves it. Predicament bondage, yes.
Never heard of that that way. I like it.
Yes. It's basically where you're
you're trying to get out and youcan't in a sense and you're in a
predicament and you really can'tget out and so you're kind of
stuck. Interesting.
(04:21):
Yeah, I don't know why, It's just cute.
When you say it's a predicament,it's.
Predicament the. Predicament bondage.
I have a Side Story about booty holes.
Oh please tell us about that booty hole.
So this. Weekend.
I have this vibrating butt plug.So I told him I was like, would
you want me to wear it today? He's like today I'm like, yeah,
(04:42):
he's like for your grandma's birthday.
Yeah. Yeah, she's turning 90.
What? Why not go out with the bang?
You know what I mean? Absolutely.
So I give him the remote and then I guess we start.
It was in my butt the whole time, but you could literally,
it was so bulky on the outside that you could see I was wearing
shorts. You can kind of see a little
bulge. My butt?
(05:03):
Yeah, him. Roy's.
Yeah, Like him. Roy and I was like, it's
embarrassing. Nobody.
I want to to look at my butt. But then when we get in there,
we realized it had died. So I'm sitting there like I
never got to use it. So I had to go to the bathroom.
I was like, I got to get it out.It's just uncomfortable.
Well, I took my kids in there toso they can go potty while I'm
using the bathroom. But you know, they all have
(05:24):
stalls and one of the kids just staring at me do a little crack
at the stall and I'm like, Oh myGod, can you give me a minute?
But yeah, I had to hug my paw paw's neck with a butt plug in
my butt. Wow, you are a sick fuck.
You are a sick fuck. Loon.
Just saying, if you do have to go to like a 90 year old's
(05:45):
birthday party, that is definitely a way to spice it up.
I, you know, I give you an A forcreativity.
Yeah. Yeah, way to remember things.
You know what I mean? It's true.
That's funny. Do you have any booty hole
stories? I don't think I really have any
of those. I do.
I think I have the same you do bubble that you have.
Yeah, it's a it's an interestinglittle contraption.
(06:08):
It stays in. It does.
It's just a little bulky. Yeah.
And it's easy to sit down. It's just walking like with that
thing, just kind of hanging. Out.
I had a thong, so you know them things are just hold it in
there. Wow, yeah, love it.
And you can fill out some thongs.
I don't I know they just it's just all like saying my cooter.
(06:29):
No, no, I wasn't saying you're cooter.
I was saying no. I was saying that ass hangs out
my. Cat Oh my gosh.
So I was at your mom's birthday party and they're talking about
men. I don't know what they're
talking about. Some big black man and she go, I
go. Well does that make your Kitty
(06:50):
purr? Yeah, everybody on the table.
Maybe Brie. Uncomfortable.
Brie is, so yeah, she's a. Woman too.
I know, but she's such a prude though.
I'm talking about her. I'm.
Talking about your mom? She's a woman.
She wants to talk about her tingly kitties.
Yeah. Naughty bits.
OK. Yeah, OK.
Yeah. And what did she say?
(07:11):
She she she said about it. You know she.
Likes big black, big black men. She's like that big black cock,
OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She doesn't want to tell everybody that she likes man on
man gay porn. She don't want to tell anybody
that. She don't want to tell anybody
that her favorite movie is Brokeback Mountain.
But Mama liked that because I got it too.
(07:34):
I like, I like the hands free orgasm from a man.
Like, I'll look that up, OK, where they're getting fucked
from behind, nobody's touching their Dick, and they still come.
I think that's hot. Yeah, it really is.
Especially if it's a big burly man, right, with a little bitty
guy because he's taken or it's the other way around, I don't
know, just taking that man, you know, OK.
(07:54):
Yeah. Interesting, I've never watched
that type of porn. I went to the dark end.
I get it, you know. What I mean, sometimes nothing
really works, you just got to keep digging.
For The Dirty really true and. It gets pretty bad.
You're like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
You even get sick to your stomach.
Everything you come to, I'm like.
I hey, I've edited some of the videos from the dungeon and
there's certain clips that I getthere, you know, like that guy
(08:19):
drinking his own cum out of a out of the cup.
And it wasn't, you know, it wasn't until you got to go and.
I was. Like.
Oh goodness ho. Yeah, remind me, I'm going to
tell you something that's not disgusting after the podcast.
(08:42):
I won't share this with everyone, but yeah, I can't tell
you about the podcast. But I will say when I was
talking to my little slave Sissy, he says, you know, post
seems like a really nice guy. He's like, I've never met him.
And I said, are you listening tothe podcast?
He's like, yeah, listen to a couple episodes.
Poe's really seems like a reallynice guy.
Oh, that's sweet. That is sweet, right?
(09:03):
And I said, well, Poe was alwaysrooting for you.
Yeah, I know you are. Yeah.
He, we, we all have something a little bit different in our
brains. And sometimes we just got to
learn how to control that. And I think if he really learned
how to control it and didn't look at certain aspects of it as
a negative thing and he looked at it as basically a superpower,
yeah, they would help him out. Yeah.
(09:23):
So that brings up to our article.
This was put out by paired and it's on paired.com.
It's an articles it's 240 dirty.What would you rather questions
for couples to try? So I figure we're kind of like a
throuple here in the dungeon between the three of us.
(09:45):
She's a. Frame to our Oreo.
OK, who's going to be the I was going to say, who's going to be
the cream in the middle? She's in the middle, but I'm the
black side because there's a white side and a black side.
Some of the Oreos, those those cheap Oreos chocolate, I'll
bring in the. OK.
(10:06):
All right, OK. I'll I'll be the peanut butter
Scott. Peanut butter.
You don't peanut butter with the, you know, no peanut butter
ones like that. Too.
Yeah, she. Can't be vanilla.
No vanilla come. On who is vanilla?
No fucking body in this. Room.
Nobody has ever really describedme as vanilla if they really
know me. All ice cream starts out as
(10:27):
vanilla until you put a little flavor in it.
That's that's a very good concept.
Is that flavor? Yeah.
I like it. All right, so let's begin our
our questionnaires. You ready?
Yes. So I will ask you and then you
will ask Liv on the next question.
With no arms. Or she will fucking ZAP you.
You don't have the smaller 1. You should put that on this
(10:48):
tank. Just saying.
Yeah, you should have. Thanks.
You got any more ideas? Just wrap it around your jig.
Miss me have it y'all. Yes, OK #1 PO, would you rather
never have an orgasm again or orgasm every hour on the hour?
(11:11):
That's fucking easy. Orgasm on the hour.
I mean, come on. Yeah, even if it's the middle
school. You know, just saying, you know,
you have to plan out your breaksjust right, but yeah.
You know there is an actual disorder like that.
I I do. Yes, they have it on TV show,
(11:32):
right? OK hit it PO do the next one.
Would you rather only have sex in bed for the rest of your life
or never be able to have sex in bed again?
That's kind of silly, but live, what do you think I get?
What you're saying? I like bed OK, but do can we be
on the side of the bed? Yeah, see the pillows of the
bed? Sure.
Yeah, as long as the bed's incorporated.
(11:52):
Yeah, I guess we're gonna have specific pillows in there and
mm, hmm, do all weird angles. Like the crotch pillow and the
Kool-aid pillow. Yeah, hold on to the headboard.
You know there's things you can do.
Yeah, OK. All right, Liv, go ahead.
Would you rather publish your porn search history or read all
(12:12):
of your text messages aloud to your hometown?
I've seen your text messages, soI don't I know.
About your porn though. Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Don't. This is where we're going to
promote Patreon on, yeah, our forum.
Because let me tell you something.
I had this dirty fucking discussion I recorded while I
(12:34):
was sitting here with my doctor,who I call him Whore Larry.
And Larry is a whore. He wants to eat my asshole, eat
my shit, do all sorts of nasty shit, and meanwhile I dress him
up as a Sissy and make him suck big fucking black cocks.
So we had this long conversationand I messaged him.
(12:57):
Now that you know, these are what our text messages consist
of. But this time I called him and
we talked about it. So I'm taking that recording and
I'm putting it on Patreon so everyone can fucking hear it.
I like it. You like that?
I like it. So yeah, I think, you know, I
would much rather read my text messages out loud to people so
they understand how fucking dirty I am.
(13:20):
You know? It's going to like it.
It's quite true. I don't need a bunch of porn
because I have it all in my headand I've already done it.
Yes. All right.
Imagination is a great place. Thank you.
All right, so Poe, would you rather have a one night stand or
a bubble bath with a stranger? Is it a boy stranger or girl
stranger? Whatever he wanted.
(13:40):
I'm going with it's going to be a female one night stand.
Or a bubble bath with a stranger.
With a stranger. Do I like this stranger?
Absolutely. Isn't the one night stand a
stranger too? Absolutely.
That's what I was kind of thinking like.
You send in a dirty booty water though.
I well, he could shower beforehand.
(14:01):
But what? Is that's what I'm saying, Like
I really want to look deep into these questions and go, well,
what is this part and this part I'm going to go with the one
night stand one. Really.
See bubble bath with a stranger.Let me think of that's that's my
time. Listen, OK, it's my time.
Listen, so PO, what I was sayingwas I could see you in a bubble
(14:25):
bath with a sexy adult baby chick, right?
And you're playing with rubber duckies and you're getting all
nasty in a naughty tub. Definitely play with a rubber
ducky. Exactly.
And you could be like rubber ducky but that.
But that would. Turn into the one night stand,
yes. So either way, it's going to be
a one night stand. Yeah, OK.
(14:48):
Just. I can live with your answer
there, yeah. Got to make sure you're sucking
on a clean Dick for sure, especially if it's a stranger
like Dick cheese. Yeah.
Put some cracker on that. Would you rather never have a
good meal again or never have good sex again?
(15:11):
Oh, this reminds me of the guy off of friends.
He's asked Joey. He's asked between the two, does
he like food more or sex than hecould not choose.
It is a provocative question, especially because I like to
cook. You want the sex PO, come the
fuck on. I think I did well.
You can eat shitty. Porridge for the rest of your
life, but it says. Never have good sex again.
It doesn't say that I can't havesex.
(15:32):
It shouldn't be mediocre sex. So I'm going to say I would
choose the meal because, you know, I could still have great
meals and, you know, still be able to have, you know, decent
sex. So I'm going to find the
loophole in that one. Whatever you say, I call
bullshit. OK, go ahead.
Go ahead, poop owner. Maybe you're right.
Maybe you're right. He just wants to get laid.
(15:54):
He doesn't even care. He's kind of feed.
Me ducks, you know, feed me ducks.
But I want to fuck good. OK, Sorry.
OK, go ahead. Would you rather never have
foreplay again, or only have foreplay and no penetrated sex
of any kind for the rest of yourlife?
(16:14):
Oh, Jesus. I definitely choose foreplay,
yeah, because I can come off a foreplay.
Yeah. Sometimes you need more play to
get anywhere, yes. So imagine if you never have
foreplay and you can't ever get it.
Yeah. That's tough.
It's like never been able to touch your Dick before.
You go into a pussy. It's like, how do I get it hard,
you know? A good one always gets a hard
though first man you. Know unless you have to touch
(16:36):
it, you can touch it and you'd are you know exactly.
There you go. Play on it, all right?
Would you rather cry every time you climax or have an orgasm
every time you cry? Ohh you know I don't cry often
enough so yeah I'd fucking cry after and crazy climax.
I'd love it. Go ahead, cry please.
(16:57):
Alright so Liv just made someonecome up and she put a chastity
cage on him in front of everyonefor that added extra humiliation
because she wanted fucking coffee now Do you feel better
about yourself? I.
Do I do not like that I had to send them back down for a second
cup of coffee though. Yeah, I know.
Yeah, he should have listened the first time.
(17:18):
All right, you. Need to put start putting the
shot collar on him. I thought about it on the show.
Who had one on? You were saying yes, yes, who
put? Sugar in coffee?
Old school, all right. That's all they put in there.
There was nothing in there. That's my coffee.
With sugar, yeah. Nothing in Creamer, Yeah.
Yeah. All right, Popinator, Are you
(17:40):
ready? I'm ready.
Do you want to re ask the question or do you or do we just
go to the next question? Go to the next question.
Do it. Yeah, we were at.
To 11, stop staying up the numbers.
Would you rather have sex with aCo worker or with a high school
friend? She's like going.
(18:01):
You. Are pretend.
It's Evie you. Fucking pervert.
I would fuck Evie. I know you would definitely fuck
Evie and I definitely fuck people from high school too.
Yeah, you'd be on that train. Yeah, let me tell you, Evie had
a session last night and she hadthe one that has the beautiful
hair that you and I saw. He he came here on here.
(18:23):
No, no, it's Gray hair. He looked like Bob.
Seger. Oh yeah, the one he looked like
he's wearing a wig. He.
Does. Have great hair.
It's beautiful. She kept rubbing her fingers
through it and everything else. And she really, like, I told
her, I said, you're really goingto like him.
He's a super nice guy. He's a badass truck.
Oh my God, yeah, he's cool guy. Anyway, I said, you're really
(18:44):
going to like it, you know, you really like him.
School guy. Anyway, she does a session and
he's like, I want to do it again.
And she's like, yeah, well, you know how it goes.
And he's like, yeah, do you see people outside of the dungeon?
She's like, no, we can't do that.
He's. The one that said if I and it
was Mandy Candy, he said if you give up your next session, I'll
(19:06):
give you $100. I said not my Mandy.
I'm Mandy. I don't know who you are.
You don't get priority right now.
No. Yeah, that's what he did.
Yeah, it's crazy, all right. So go ahead, Liv.
All right? Would you rather give up oral
sex or anal sex? Give up fucking anal sex all day
(19:26):
long. I don't like anal sex.
You put it in him though. Oh well.
Fuck yeah, I put it in him because it was my bitch.
So you would quit doing that? No, I don't want to do that.
I'd rather continue to fuck him in the asshole than oral.
Yeah, because. He's got a little tongue and you
know, he only does so much. It's like he really has to work
hard on it. I was like, he's a better ass
eater than he is pussy eater. That's sad.
(19:47):
I'm sorry. Do you need help?
He doesn't do bad at it. He doesn't do bad.
I could still have an orgasm with it, but doesn't need help.
Hurry, my nephew. You nut we're.
Going back to that brother. He's OK with me helping out his
aunt. Oh.
My God, that's right. He's losing right now.
Like what the fuck is wrong withher?
(20:08):
I love it. Love you too, Liv.
Love you too, baby. All right.
She still has that coworker question on her brain.
It's fascinating. OK, All right, PO, Yes.
Would you rather be dominant or submissive in the bedroom?
That's a great question. I'm going to go gut response
(20:31):
dominant in the bedroom because I can always come to a dungeon
and be submissive. OK, OK.
Would you rather have sex in a secluded forest or on a secluded
beach? Forest.
Forest, Yeah, Feels a little bitmore scary.
Yeah, in touch with nature. Yeah, can't fight.
Fight me, elbows. That's called foreplay.
(20:56):
So you all don't watch Naked andAfraid, right?
Watch it when it's on at your house, OK?
So I watch it, yeah. OK, I love Naked and Afraid,
right? Well, there's a new one new show
and it's called Naked and and then Love.
And yeah, so they put all these fucking strangers together and
they're like in their 20s and, and early 30s and they try to
pair up and it's basically it looks like they're at the like a
(21:19):
Virgin Islands because there's different islands that surround
them that they have access to. And when they get tired of one
part the island, they can eithergo on a float and go across to
another island or they can like go around the beach to another
island. What's the part of it being
naked though? Just because Naked and Afraid is
promoting it. It's their show still, but it's
(21:39):
naked in love. But what I find funny is like
you all just said, Oh yeah, I get a bit by Ant in the forest.
You know how it's like Naked andafraid.
They're all like eaten up by ants and bumps and all this shit
that's happening that the forge for food.
These people don't have to do that shit.
You know, they'll still like camp and fish and hunt and that
kind of stuff, but it's not likefor survival.
(22:01):
And there's no fucking bugs or ants.
And they're like given one personal item.
So like one chick was like, oh, I choose lipstick.
And I'm like, bitch, okay, they're giving you fucking
deodorant and perfume. We get it, okay?
I would choose a vibrator. That's what I was thinking
myself, like if you're going to bring one personal item.
Yes, they need to make them where they're solar powered.
(22:21):
Yeah, they really do. They.
Do have solar powered charters? Yeah, but I can only bring one
item. OK, you need to get your other
person to bring the solar. Remember this is a paired up
thing, so we're working as a team.
You bring the solar charger, I will bring the vibrator.
We're going to have a good time.Quite truthfully, good teammate
just says. I got your back, maybe you're
(22:43):
front too. Yeah, it's like that.
It's like that tiger. Yeah.
Especially when it's all like got a mane and stuff.
Just kidding. It's a naked.
You got that? Yeah, You got that Sphinx cat
(23:03):
down there. Oh yeah, the Sphinx.
The Sphinx with a little bit of wrinkles.
Oh my Lord, OK. I asked a friend that recently.
I sent him two pictures and I was like, what kind do you have?
And it was a Persian cat and a Sphinx cat.
I was like, which one are you and?
What'd they say? Sphinx?
OK. All right.
OK, I'm good with it. I like their boobies.
(23:28):
You need to watch those naked inlove.
It's fucking. Hilarious.
I will. I'll try, yeah.
I would like it when I'm. Sick and things like that.
I love watching shows like that.Yeah.
Keeps you in bed where you're not.
Like mine's law and order. Something like a really sick
man. I watched that.
Marathon of Law and Order I. Guess SVU Wheel of Fortune.
Yeah, things you can kind of sleep through.
And also is interesting. Did you put drugs in my coffee?
(23:50):
My eyeballs are on Twitch. She's not going to send me back
to get coffee again. All right.
OK. Are we ready?
Yes. Both of you at random answer
this question. Wait.
Yes, I'm going to answer these. You won't delay things too much.
(24:12):
Would you rather have a steamy session at the hot tub or under
a waterfall? One word, Waterfall.
Waterfall. Boom.
Okay, would you rather have yourhair pulled or your back
scratched? Pulled.
Yeah. Cool.
OK, would you rather end every date night with a sensual dance
or a striptease? Striptease dance.
Oh, OK. Would you rather have me speak
(24:32):
in an accent during foreplay or stay completely silent but very
expressive silent? Accent.
All right here, would you rathershower together every day or
only have bevel baths together on a special occasions?
Shower every day. Bubble bath.
OK, yeah, this is supposed to bea speed.
(24:53):
Let's go. I know, be slow as fuck, would
you? Yeah, ZAP this bitch ass.
Too long. I agree.
Yes, I agree. Would you rather make out in the
rain or in a backseat of a car? Rain.
Rain, yeah. Oh nice, would you rather have
me tease you with a feather or the ice cubes feather?
Feather. OK guys, would you rather wake
up to oral sex or full body massage?
(25:15):
Oral body massage. Would you rather skinny dip at
midnight or sunbathe a nude? Sunbathe the nude.
All right, I'm scared of the dark.
Would you rather fuck in front of a fireplace or the light of
hundreds of candles? Candles.
That sounds sexy as fuck. Right.
OK, Would you rather receive a sexy voicemail or an explicit
(25:38):
picture message? Voicemail.
I like voices. I like pictures.
Yeah, boy, men are more visual, women are more emotional, so
that makes. Sense.
Yes. OK.
Body chocolate or edible underwear.
Edible underwear chocolate. I've never tried it.
Chocolate. You can get bellyache.
I don't, I guess I, I know the person was really clean down
(26:00):
there and everything else and you know, he doesn't want no.
Boo Boo on his candy. I don't like to mix my treats
with my other treats. Oh my God.
OK, would you rather spend an entire day teasing each other
without release or have immediate satisfaction and come
quick? I like to be teased throughout
(26:21):
the day PO. I mean the tea Immediate.
No immediate. OK, immediate.
Immediate. OK, would you rather have your
body worshipped or worship someone else's body?
I like to be worshipped. OK, PO.
I like to worship. Oh my God, it's like we're meant
to be together. Like all of our questions are
like. Would you rather Would you
(26:45):
rather have sex in a cozy tent while camping or in the back of
a luxury SUV on a road trip? A luxury SVVI got a bad back we
got. I want the AC.
Yeah. AC that's a little bitch.
I'm sorry. Yeah, so great.
Would you rather have sex in an elegant antique chair or in a
(27:07):
fluffy modern rug? Yeah, rug feel like a chair
could be like. Rug.
Yeah, yeah. OK, which is best leather or
lace? Lace.
Leather. OK, would you rather have me
write out my desires on your body or whisper them in your
ear? Whisper.
(27:27):
Whisper them. I want to touch your pussy and
your deck. Stop it.
Please do, I can strap on one ofthose pussies.
We can make it work. Imagination.
(27:52):
I can draw a pussy on your tank.Yes, she's the tank and make it
look like a pussy. I'm sure we're gonna have to
draw shit. I know every guy has stuck his
Dick between his legs at one point and acted like they had a
pussy. Every dude has.
I know they have. Yes.
OK, so just saying the fat cat is like that though.
(28:14):
Wow, So Liv, Liv recently has talked to someone through this
dating app because, you know, she wants a third, you know, to
be fun, right? And she showed me this picture
and I was like, kind of like, like, why the fuck would you
post post that picture? Why would the fuck would you
post that video? So the thing of it is if you got
(28:35):
dirty fingernails and and you'reat a bad angle, that all that
shit's going bad. Yeah, the angle all by it.
You got to know what you're saying, right You?
Looked at the angle I lift the fingernails.
Either way, it's gross. It would be, yeah.
So I wasn't attracted to it. No, I still try to entertain it
and she still blew me off. All right, would you rather
watch porn or read erotica porn?Oh, read it OK.
(28:59):
Imagination is way. Better.
No, I'm I'm second guessing my my toes.
Literally choose any. Person I sometimes I like to
write my own shit with AI and I'll bust a nut to it so but you
know. Would you rather have your toes
sucked on or have your toes suck?
Wait, what? Your toes.
She was asking would you rather suck someone else's toes or have
my toes be sucked? I don't wanna put my mouth on a
(29:20):
Nancy food. By the way, I have latex socks
coming in that goes in between the toes.
Interesting. Yeah, that'd be great.
That's gonna be sexy. Interesting.
Yeah, but I tell you what, on the two men that I have sucked
on their toes, like their big toe, they say.
I didn't expect you to say that you sucked.
(29:41):
No, sorry. You know, I like feet, and if
they've got really cute feet, I'm down for.
Something I like saltiness. Yeah, they weren't salty.
I don't know who the fuck you'resucking.
Yeah. Was that a toe or a penis?
What you were saying when? I was younger, I used to chew on
my toenails. You're not the only one.
(30:02):
Yeah, and suck on people's feet.Okay, you are the only one on
that one. My grand not judging.
When we're in the pool, my granny would always try to stay
away from her. Yeah, my granny would run away
from me because I tried to suck on her toes, but they were just.
I know what salty feet taste like, so I always assume that
everybody has salty. Your grandmother made you suck
on her toes, so I sucked on her.Oh.
She did it voluntarily. Yeah, when I was like 6.
(30:25):
Wow. OK, so.
Things you learn about your diamond.
Yeah. Wow, I was a weird fucking
child. If we haven't learned this, I
don't. Know what you're.
Telling your fucking child. OK, I hear you.
I hear you. But anyway, back to my point on
this. Love you.
(30:47):
I don't know what. To my yeah, sorry guys, back to
my point on sucking toes. Please, I forgot where we're at.
Yeah, if they're clean toes spins.
I don't know who lives live as fucking but.
(31:09):
But anywho, the the toes can be so erotic with all of the
actual, you know, sensation plays and everything else.
And what is it? It's the connected to the toes
with the the bodies. What is the?
What am I thinking about are. You talking about like the
basically the chakras or the? Yes, yes, yes.
(31:30):
And it is an erogenous zone. But anywho, when I suck on their
big toes, and I've done this several men over the years, 2
specifically one being my husband, he would always say
he's like you know I can feel more when you suck my big toe
than I can when you suck my Dick.
Like I. Believe it 'cause I like
whenever the sub suck my toes, it feels like I'm like if I had
(31:50):
a Dick I'd stick it in your mouth right now.
Yeah yeah, they just sucking it like pulls all the blood to it
Yes likes crazy. The best person who's been able
to suck my toes something. Did you suck my toes?
Yeah, I have not sucked your. I know one of my Subs have yeah,
but my favorite one was Justin. Yeah, and he's not good at
anything, but he's. Leaving that.
(32:11):
Remember you talking about that?Yeah, he is really good at
sucking toes. See Justin, you do have a good
quality. Suck Dick though.
He can't see you suck A. Toe and not a Dick.
Suck a toe before I will suck a Dick so.
He does have a small mouth. He does have a small mouth,
we'll give him that, But Justin's so fucking sweet.
(32:33):
I mean, he is very sweet. He's so sweet, we.
Love you and miss you, Justin. Now, before we close out because
we're not going to go through all this.
It's so crazy, but it was that'sbeen fun.
It was fun. I liked how you how you did it,
just spitting them out. Yeah.
OK, well, we're going to do thatnext time.
Next time. And we'll do that for a second
(32:54):
episode. But I will say that again, we
have our new Patreon account. We do have a new podcast, and it
is Mistress Mia's bedtime stories when I'm doing stories
that are typically based on truestories of my experiences.
And so I hope everyone wants to come visit that and enjoy it.
(33:14):
I will put out so many free onesand then I'll put out partials
so they can pick it up on Patreon if they want to read the
rest or listen to the rest. But we have several perks on
there. And if they join me, the third
tier Madam Liv or I will send them a special gift, something
from the dungeon. Or you know, she's got some sexy
(33:34):
panties she could always wear and send.
Them out, Yeah. And I I get wet during the day,
they start smelling a little mice.
Yeah, yeah. Musty girl.
Yeah, well, I'm not musty. Girl, she's like whoa, whoa,
whoa. Too far, too far, Musty.
(33:56):
Can be sexual. Like, no, they like men's
Cologne has the Musk and everybody's like, oh, it's
musty. And they're like it can be a.
Good thing no? I'm trying to.
I'm trying to. Help.
Leave me. What the?
She'd rather say snail trail, which is precum.
(34:19):
She'd rather fucking say that. I I have never heard this term
so. Yes snail trail is like a pre
cum like you're getting hot and bothered and wet by.
It Oh, I thought it was the wetness from a girl.
Yes. Oh, that's not.
Yes, but you just said it that way.
Yeah, but but why would your panties get wet?
(34:39):
Because you get turned on, right?
Why would you call that pre cum?Because it's like you're pre
coming. It's like you're do you well, do
you push out more liquid when you're coming?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's why some women
squirt. No.
Do they come right? No, listen, Squirt.
Squirt is piss. Squirt is pee.
Yeah, squirt is pee. Not saying there's not a.
(35:01):
Huge debate about this subject. It is pee.
It is just an orgasm as the samething.
Yeah. And it's an orgasm.
It's so different. But when you release it is pee.
When they say to do it, they saypush into the feeling of peeing
because we're like, Oh my God, it feels like I'm about to pee.
Push into it. And that's how you come like
that. OK.
Yeah. But I've never been able to do
it because I'm scared. Well, there's I don't want to be
(35:23):
here. I push it like I'm peeing every
time when I come. So yeah, I'm a squirter,
apparently. There's there's a trick, there's
a trick to getting woman to to come like that, to actually,
actually come and. Squirt or pee.
I have tried. We've looked up stuff and I have
tried and where you like pull up.
(35:46):
Say if you have, say if he's using a big, big toy on you, for
example, use a big toy. And then if he presses down on
your pelvis, on your, on your pelvic bone where yes, towards
your, your bladder and your pelvic bone, that will work OK.
Like right above your, your cubic bone, your mom's pubis.
(36:10):
Your mom's pubis is in front of your vagina.
Curled up until it'd be like a little man.
That is the scientific term, Mom's pubis, that.
Sounds like a slang term that I would, yeah.
Got a mom's pupis over here. Come on, lady.
And back to vaginal secretion. OK, she's OK with like pussy and
(36:35):
cum and but all of a sudden you use some scientific words.
Let's. She.
Said she likes muscles secretion.
No, no, no, I didn't say that. I said if you have vaginal
secretion, if you drink more fluids, you will have more
vaginal secretion. Well, that would make sense.
I'm always dehydrated but I get so wet.
(36:56):
I know so. I was.
That's why it was dehydrated, because it's it's going down.
There. You're right, I'm always
winning. I'm.
Saying yes, yeah, the coffee doesn't help.
No. All right, so this is fun, all
right? Vaginal secretions and all.
(37:17):
Yeah. Is that what they call it the
man? Is that what they call it?
The man in the boat? The man in the boat is supposed
to be the boat. Yeah, yeah.
I'm just thinking because it's, you know, just wet down there
too. So, you know, it's like a boat,
you know, talk. About the clit.
Yes. Yes, yeah.
And the man I. Would prefer mine to be a woman.
I agree. Although you do suck it like a
(37:37):
penis, so I don't. Know the woman.
And the clit is a penis technically.
Yeah, I know. I'm pretty big so you could find
it. She said there's no Where's
Waldo with me? Absolutely, honey, if you can't
figure it out, you're blind. Ohh wow.
Jesus, OK. But even if you're blind, you
could rage all that shit. Ohh yeah or you just look for
(37:58):
loophole. All right, so let's go to
Georgia. OK, That's a great Charles song.
Just saying. Just throwing that out there.
Yeah, you're old. OK, you're.
Judo. They're messing around.
You know, that would be the songI'll be thinking.
Thank you. Oh.
God bless. OK, All right.
Anyway, on that note, we're not doing that freaky like can we do
(38:23):
the sexy Call me Mistress? Please do it.
If I could creep out the letters, I would.
Oh my God. OK, and then Tilden,
motherfuckers, here we go. This is in the latest episode
of. Call me Mistress.
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me the great,
the Sexy Madame. Live Hola super sexy.
Super sexy, I like that. You just so fucking.
Cute. Hey, hey, y'all.
(00:30):
And then over in the far corner we've got Master Viper, Little
PO. Welcome to the Manor my friends.
All right, so PO comes today with the shot caller that I just
got my Sissy and he said it is much stronger than his.
(00:50):
Definitely got a bite to it. So give you give you a little
scenario. I told you, you showed me how to
work it because I don't like thedials, I like the buttons.
The buttons are so much more, you know.
Makes more sense. It does.
It's logical. I know that those the button
with the little bolt means it's going to shock them exactly.
That's it. That's.
(01:10):
It exactly, and Needless to say,I did a scene with my sub and
I'll just break it down for you all really quickly.
He ended up drinking my coffee, which was full of Miralax and
sugar free Creamer. OK, he doesn't really listen to
this podcast, however, he recently listened to it, but it
(01:31):
was kind of funny because you know, he kind of thought, oh
God, the podcast oh podcast sound boring.
And I'm like you what you listento this other podcast and they
ask questions all the fucking time.
They ask stupid fucking questions.
Anyway. I was like, yeah, they're not
number one, you know, we're not fucking number one in sexuality
in the fucking world. Hello.
(01:53):
Anyway, so I have to brag about that.
We're fucking awesome. Hey, thank you PO.
She is. Going to be, yeah, going to do
something. Be the best at it.
Exactly. So anyway, so my little Sissy,
he ends up drinking all his coffee and my big fucking
(02:14):
Tumblr, he's drinking it. He comes to a scene.
I stick a big fucking anal hook in his asshole.
We're doing this scene. I'm electrocuting him with Liv's
violent wand, the conductive my fingertips and then I use the
fucking dog collar. One on his Dick and balls and
then one on his neck. Double trouble.
(02:34):
Double trouble. And so then I play it up like.
Which button do I push? Where does this?
Do you know, well, well, we wereplaying with the one you're
wearing and I said you showed mehow to work it because it has
the dial up top. And so I'm like, I'm like, oh,
I'm trying to do the dial and itgoes from 8 to 46 really fucking
(02:55):
quick. And I was like, God damn, like
what's going on, you know? So anyway, I ZAP him one time on
an 8, next thing I know I go to ZAP him again and holy fuck
balls he got a 46 and he got 2 little prong marks on his.
Neck. And I don't if you'll realize
this. He is a baby fucking bitch.
He is. He's a baby.
Fucking bitch. Oh my God, he's such a baby.
(03:17):
Shock me and I. Came in and I.
Grabbed me so I did the vibration and it little bit
scared of me. Telling you what to do?
That's not intelligent. That's.
How you get shocked? Yes.
Yes. And what's really funny is he's
like, you know, the most intensething we've ever done is that
(03:38):
hook. Well, he ends up it triggered
something in him and it wasn't the electricity, it was the
mirror lights and the look. So we did like an hour scene.
He's like, I can't do this anymore.
I got to go. But you know, he's on his tippy
toes on heels, cranked up with the wench, hooked up with the
anal hook and his asshole. And he was very uncomfortable,
(04:00):
but he had shackles on his handsand his feet and he loved it.
He loves being in predicament bondage.
Fucking loves it. Predicament bondage, yes.
Never heard of that that way. I like it.
Yes. It's basically where you're
you're trying to get out and youcan't in a sense and you're in a
predicament and you really can'tget out and so you're kind of
stuck. Interesting.
(04:21):
Yeah, I don't know why, It's just cute.
When you say it's a predicament,it's.
Predicament the. Predicament bondage.
I have a Side Story about booty holes.
Oh please tell us about that booty hole.
So this. Weekend.
I have this vibrating butt plug.So I told him I was like, would
you want me to wear it today? He's like today I'm like, yeah,
(04:42):
he's like for your grandma's birthday.
Yeah. Yeah, she's turning 90.
What? Why not go out with the bang?
You know what I mean? Absolutely.
So I give him the remote and then I guess we start.
It was in my butt the whole time, but you could literally,
it was so bulky on the outside that you could see I was wearing
shorts. You can kind of see a little
bulge. My butt?
(05:03):
Yeah, him. Roy's.
Yeah, Like him. Roy and I was like, it's
embarrassing. Nobody.
I want to to look at my butt. But then when we get in there,
we realized it had died. So I'm sitting there like I
never got to use it. So I had to go to the bathroom.
I was like, I got to get it out.It's just uncomfortable.
Well, I took my kids in there toso they can go potty while I'm
using the bathroom. But you know, they all have
(05:24):
stalls and one of the kids just staring at me do a little crack
at the stall and I'm like, Oh myGod, can you give me a minute?
But yeah, I had to hug my paw paw's neck with a butt plug in
my butt. Wow, you are a sick fuck.
You are a sick fuck. Loon.
Just saying, if you do have to go to like a 90 year old's
(05:45):
birthday party, that is definitely a way to spice it up.
I, you know, I give you an A forcreativity.
Yeah. Yeah, way to remember things.
You know what I mean? It's true.
That's funny. Do you have any booty hole
stories? I don't think I really have any
of those. I do.
I think I have the same you do bubble that you have.
Yeah, it's a it's an interestinglittle contraption.
(06:08):
It stays in. It does.
It's just a little bulky. Yeah.
And it's easy to sit down. It's just walking like with that
thing, just kind of hanging. Out.
I had a thong, so you know them things are just hold it in
there. Wow, yeah, love it.
And you can fill out some thongs.
I don't I know they just it's just all like saying my cooter.
(06:29):
No, no, I wasn't saying you're cooter.
I was saying no. I was saying that ass hangs out
my. Cat Oh my gosh.
So I was at your mom's birthday party and they're talking about
men. I don't know what they're
talking about. Some big black man and she go, I
go. Well does that make your Kitty
(06:50):
purr? Yeah, everybody on the table.
Maybe Brie. Uncomfortable.
Brie is, so yeah, she's a. Woman too.
I know, but she's such a prude though.
I'm talking about her. I'm.
Talking about your mom? She's a woman.
She wants to talk about her tingly kitties.
Yeah. Naughty bits.
OK. Yeah, OK.
Yeah. And what did she say?
(07:11):
She she she said about it. You know she.
Likes big black, big black men. She's like that big black cock,
OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She doesn't want to tell everybody that she likes man on
man gay porn. She don't want to tell anybody
that. She don't want to tell anybody
that her favorite movie is Brokeback Mountain.
But Mama liked that because I got it too.
(07:34):
I like, I like the hands free orgasm from a man.
Like, I'll look that up, OK, where they're getting fucked
from behind, nobody's touching their Dick, and they still come.
I think that's hot. Yeah, it really is.
Especially if it's a big burly man, right, with a little bitty
guy because he's taken or it's the other way around, I don't
know, just taking that man, you know, OK.
(07:54):
Yeah. Interesting, I've never watched
that type of porn. I went to the dark end.
I get it, you know. What I mean, sometimes nothing
really works, you just got to keep digging.
For The Dirty really true and. It gets pretty bad.
You're like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
You even get sick to your stomach.
Everything you come to, I'm like.
I hey, I've edited some of the videos from the dungeon and
there's certain clips that I getthere, you know, like that guy
(08:19):
drinking his own cum out of a out of the cup.
And it wasn't, you know, it wasn't until you got to go and.
I was. Like.
Oh goodness ho. Yeah, remind me, I'm going to
tell you something that's not disgusting after the podcast.
(08:42):
I won't share this with everyone, but yeah, I can't tell
you about the podcast. But I will say when I was
talking to my little slave Sissy, he says, you know, post
seems like a really nice guy. He's like, I've never met him.
And I said, are you listening tothe podcast?
He's like, yeah, listen to a couple episodes.
Poe's really seems like a reallynice guy.
Oh, that's sweet. That is sweet, right?
(09:03):
And I said, well, Poe was alwaysrooting for you.
Yeah, I know you are. Yeah.
He, we, we all have something a little bit different in our
brains. And sometimes we just got to
learn how to control that. And I think if he really learned
how to control it and didn't look at certain aspects of it as
a negative thing and he looked at it as basically a superpower,
yeah, they would help him out. Yeah.
(09:23):
So that brings up to our article.
This was put out by paired and it's on paired.com.
It's an articles it's 240 dirty.What would you rather questions
for couples to try? So I figure we're kind of like a
throuple here in the dungeon between the three of us.
(09:45):
She's a. Frame to our Oreo.
OK, who's going to be the I was going to say, who's going to be
the cream in the middle? She's in the middle, but I'm the
black side because there's a white side and a black side.
Some of the Oreos, those those cheap Oreos chocolate, I'll
bring in the. OK.
(10:06):
All right, OK. I'll I'll be the peanut butter
Scott. Peanut butter.
You don't peanut butter with the, you know, no peanut butter
ones like that. Too.
Yeah, she. Can't be vanilla.
No vanilla come. On who is vanilla?
No fucking body in this. Room.
Nobody has ever really describedme as vanilla if they really
know me. All ice cream starts out as
(10:27):
vanilla until you put a little flavor in it.
That's that's a very good concept.
Is that flavor? Yeah.
I like it. All right, so let's begin our
our questionnaires. You ready?
Yes. So I will ask you and then you
will ask Liv on the next question.
With no arms. Or she will fucking ZAP you.
You don't have the smaller 1. You should put that on this
(10:48):
tank. Just saying.
Yeah, you should have. Thanks.
You got any more ideas? Just wrap it around your jig.
Miss me have it y'all. Yes, OK #1 PO, would you rather
never have an orgasm again or orgasm every hour on the hour?
(11:11):
That's fucking easy. Orgasm on the hour.
I mean, come on. Yeah, even if it's the middle
school. You know, just saying, you know,
you have to plan out your breaksjust right, but yeah.
You know there is an actual disorder like that.
I I do. Yes, they have it on TV show,
(11:32):
right? OK hit it PO do the next one.
Would you rather only have sex in bed for the rest of your life
or never be able to have sex in bed again?
That's kind of silly, but live, what do you think I get?
What you're saying? I like bed OK, but do can we be
on the side of the bed? Yeah, see the pillows of the
bed? Sure.
Yeah, as long as the bed's incorporated.
(11:52):
Yeah, I guess we're gonna have specific pillows in there and
mm, hmm, do all weird angles. Like the crotch pillow and the
Kool-aid pillow. Yeah, hold on to the headboard.
You know there's things you can do.
Yeah, OK. All right, Liv, go ahead.
Would you rather publish your porn search history or read all
(12:12):
of your text messages aloud to your hometown?
I've seen your text messages, soI don't I know.
About your porn though. Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Don't. This is where we're going to
promote Patreon on, yeah, our forum.
Because let me tell you something.
I had this dirty fucking discussion I recorded while I
(12:34):
was sitting here with my doctor,who I call him Whore Larry.
And Larry is a whore. He wants to eat my asshole, eat
my shit, do all sorts of nasty shit, and meanwhile I dress him
up as a Sissy and make him suck big fucking black cocks.
So we had this long conversationand I messaged him.
(12:57):
Now that you know, these are what our text messages consist
of. But this time I called him and
we talked about it. So I'm taking that recording and
I'm putting it on Patreon so everyone can fucking hear it.
I like it. You like that?
I like it. So yeah, I think, you know, I
would much rather read my text messages out loud to people so
they understand how fucking dirty I am.
(13:20):
You know? It's going to like it.
It's quite true. I don't need a bunch of porn
because I have it all in my headand I've already done it.
Yes. All right.
Imagination is a great place. Thank you.
All right, so Poe, would you rather have a one night stand or
a bubble bath with a stranger? Is it a boy stranger or girl
stranger? Whatever he wanted.
(13:40):
I'm going with it's going to be a female one night stand.
Or a bubble bath with a stranger.
With a stranger. Do I like this stranger?
Absolutely. Isn't the one night stand a
stranger too? Absolutely.
That's what I was kind of thinking like.
You send in a dirty booty water though.
I well, he could shower beforehand.
(14:01):
But what? Is that's what I'm saying, Like
I really want to look deep into these questions and go, well,
what is this part and this part I'm going to go with the one
night stand one. Really.
See bubble bath with a stranger.Let me think of that's that's my
time. Listen, OK, it's my time.
Listen, so PO, what I was sayingwas I could see you in a bubble
(14:25):
bath with a sexy adult baby chick, right?
And you're playing with rubber duckies and you're getting all
nasty in a naughty tub. Definitely play with a rubber
ducky. Exactly.
And you could be like rubber ducky but that.
But that would. Turn into the one night stand,
yes. So either way, it's going to be
a one night stand. Yeah, OK.
(14:48):
Just. I can live with your answer
there, yeah. Got to make sure you're sucking
on a clean Dick for sure, especially if it's a stranger
like Dick cheese. Yeah.
Put some cracker on that. Would you rather never have a
good meal again or never have good sex again?
(15:11):
Oh, this reminds me of the guy off of friends.
He's asked Joey. He's asked between the two, does
he like food more or sex than hecould not choose.
It is a provocative question, especially because I like to
cook. You want the sex PO, come the
fuck on. I think I did well.
You can eat shitty. Porridge for the rest of your
life, but it says. Never have good sex again.
It doesn't say that I can't havesex.
(15:32):
It shouldn't be mediocre sex. So I'm going to say I would
choose the meal because, you know, I could still have great
meals and, you know, still be able to have, you know, decent
sex. So I'm going to find the
loophole in that one. Whatever you say, I call
bullshit. OK, go ahead.
Go ahead, poop owner. Maybe you're right.
Maybe you're right. He just wants to get laid.
(15:54):
He doesn't even care. He's kind of feed.
Me ducks, you know, feed me ducks.
But I want to fuck good. OK, Sorry.
OK, go ahead. Would you rather never have
foreplay again, or only have foreplay and no penetrated sex
of any kind for the rest of yourlife?
(16:14):
Oh, Jesus. I definitely choose foreplay,
yeah, because I can come off a foreplay.
Yeah. Sometimes you need more play to
get anywhere, yes. So imagine if you never have
foreplay and you can't ever get it.
Yeah. That's tough.
It's like never been able to touch your Dick before.
You go into a pussy. It's like, how do I get it hard,
you know? A good one always gets a hard
though first man you. Know unless you have to touch
(16:36):
it, you can touch it and you'd are you know exactly.
There you go. Play on it, all right?
Would you rather cry every time you climax or have an orgasm
every time you cry? Ohh you know I don't cry often
enough so yeah I'd fucking cry after and crazy climax.
I'd love it. Go ahead, cry please.
(16:57):
Alright so Liv just made someonecome up and she put a chastity
cage on him in front of everyonefor that added extra humiliation
because she wanted fucking coffee now Do you feel better
about yourself? I.
Do I do not like that I had to send them back down for a second
cup of coffee though. Yeah, I know.
Yeah, he should have listened the first time.
(17:18):
All right, you. Need to put start putting the
shot collar on him. I thought about it on the show.
Who had one on? You were saying yes, yes, who
put? Sugar in coffee?
Old school, all right. That's all they put in there.
There was nothing in there. That's my coffee.
With sugar, yeah. Nothing in Creamer, Yeah.
Yeah. All right, Popinator, Are you
(17:40):
ready? I'm ready.
Do you want to re ask the question or do you or do we just
go to the next question? Go to the next question.
Do it. Yeah, we were at.
To 11, stop staying up the numbers.
Would you rather have sex with aCo worker or with a high school
friend? She's like going.
(18:01):
You. Are pretend.
It's Evie you. Fucking pervert.
I would fuck Evie. I know you would definitely fuck
Evie and I definitely fuck people from high school too.
Yeah, you'd be on that train. Yeah, let me tell you, Evie had
a session last night and she hadthe one that has the beautiful
hair that you and I saw. He he came here on here.
(18:23):
No, no, it's Gray hair. He looked like Bob.
Seger. Oh yeah, the one he looked like
he's wearing a wig. He.
Does. Have great hair.
It's beautiful. She kept rubbing her fingers
through it and everything else. And she really, like, I told
her, I said, you're really goingto like him.
He's a super nice guy. He's a badass truck.
Oh my God, yeah, he's cool guy. Anyway, I said, you're really
(18:44):
going to like it, you know, you really like him.
School guy. Anyway, she does a session and
he's like, I want to do it again.
And she's like, yeah, well, you know how it goes.
And he's like, yeah, do you see people outside of the dungeon?
She's like, no, we can't do that.
He's. The one that said if I and it
was Mandy Candy, he said if you give up your next session, I'll
(19:06):
give you $100. I said not my Mandy.
I'm Mandy. I don't know who you are.
You don't get priority right now.
No. Yeah, that's what he did.
Yeah, it's crazy, all right. So go ahead, Liv.
All right? Would you rather give up oral
sex or anal sex? Give up fucking anal sex all day
(19:26):
long. I don't like anal sex.
You put it in him though. Oh well.
Fuck yeah, I put it in him because it was my bitch.
So you would quit doing that? No, I don't want to do that.
I'd rather continue to fuck him in the asshole than oral.
Yeah, because. He's got a little tongue and you
know, he only does so much. It's like he really has to work
hard on it. I was like, he's a better ass
eater than he is pussy eater. That's sad.
(19:47):
I'm sorry. Do you need help?
He doesn't do bad at it. He doesn't do bad.
I could still have an orgasm with it, but doesn't need help.
Hurry, my nephew. You nut we're.
Going back to that brother. He's OK with me helping out his
aunt. Oh.
My God, that's right. He's losing right now.
Like what the fuck is wrong withher?
(20:08):
I love it. Love you too, Liv.
Love you too, baby. All right.
She still has that coworker question on her brain.
It's fascinating. OK, All right, PO, Yes.
Would you rather be dominant or submissive in the bedroom?
That's a great question. I'm going to go gut response
(20:31):
dominant in the bedroom because I can always come to a dungeon
and be submissive. OK, OK.
Would you rather have sex in a secluded forest or on a secluded
beach? Forest.
Forest, Yeah, Feels a little bitmore scary.
Yeah, in touch with nature. Yeah, can't fight.
Fight me, elbows. That's called foreplay.
(20:56):
So you all don't watch Naked andAfraid, right?
Watch it when it's on at your house, OK?
So I watch it, yeah. OK, I love Naked and Afraid,
right? Well, there's a new one new show
and it's called Naked and and then Love.
And yeah, so they put all these fucking strangers together and
they're like in their 20s and, and early 30s and they try to
pair up and it's basically it looks like they're at the like a
(21:19):
Virgin Islands because there's different islands that surround
them that they have access to. And when they get tired of one
part the island, they can eithergo on a float and go across to
another island or they can like go around the beach to another
island. What's the part of it being
naked though? Just because Naked and Afraid is
promoting it. It's their show still, but it's
(21:39):
naked in love. But what I find funny is like
you all just said, Oh yeah, I get a bit by Ant in the forest.
You know how it's like Naked andafraid.
They're all like eaten up by ants and bumps and all this shit
that's happening that the forge for food.
These people don't have to do that shit.
You know, they'll still like camp and fish and hunt and that
kind of stuff, but it's not likefor survival.
(22:01):
And there's no fucking bugs or ants.
And they're like given one personal item.
So like one chick was like, oh, I choose lipstick.
And I'm like, bitch, okay, they're giving you fucking
deodorant and perfume. We get it, okay?
I would choose a vibrator. That's what I was thinking
myself, like if you're going to bring one personal item.
Yes, they need to make them where they're solar powered.
(22:21):
Yeah, they really do. They.
Do have solar powered charters? Yeah, but I can only bring one
item. OK, you need to get your other
person to bring the solar. Remember this is a paired up
thing, so we're working as a team.
You bring the solar charger, I will bring the vibrator.
We're going to have a good time.Quite truthfully, good teammate
just says. I got your back, maybe you're
(22:43):
front too. Yeah, it's like that.
It's like that tiger. Yeah.
Especially when it's all like got a mane and stuff.
Just kidding. It's a naked.
You got that? Yeah, You got that Sphinx cat
(23:03):
down there. Oh yeah, the Sphinx.
The Sphinx with a little bit of wrinkles.
Oh my Lord, OK. I asked a friend that recently.
I sent him two pictures and I was like, what kind do you have?
And it was a Persian cat and a Sphinx cat.
I was like, which one are you and?
What'd they say? Sphinx?
OK. All right.
OK, I'm good with it. I like their boobies.
(23:28):
You need to watch those naked inlove.
It's fucking. Hilarious.
I will. I'll try, yeah.
I would like it when I'm. Sick and things like that.
I love watching shows like that.Yeah.
Keeps you in bed where you're not.
Like mine's law and order. Something like a really sick
man. I watched that.
Marathon of Law and Order I. Guess SVU Wheel of Fortune.
Yeah, things you can kind of sleep through.
And also is interesting. Did you put drugs in my coffee?
(23:50):
My eyeballs are on Twitch. She's not going to send me back
to get coffee again. All right.
OK. Are we ready?
Yes. Both of you at random answer
this question. Wait.
Yes, I'm going to answer these. You won't delay things too much.
(24:12):
Would you rather have a steamy session at the hot tub or under
a waterfall? One word, Waterfall.
Waterfall. Boom.
Okay, would you rather have yourhair pulled or your back
scratched? Pulled.
Yeah. Cool.
OK, would you rather end every date night with a sensual dance
or a striptease? Striptease dance.
Oh, OK. Would you rather have me speak
(24:32):
in an accent during foreplay or stay completely silent but very
expressive silent? Accent.
All right here, would you rathershower together every day or
only have bevel baths together on a special occasions?
Shower every day. Bubble bath.
OK, yeah, this is supposed to bea speed.
(24:53):
Let's go. I know, be slow as fuck, would
you? Yeah, ZAP this bitch ass.
Too long. I agree.
Yes, I agree. Would you rather make out in the
rain or in a backseat of a car? Rain.
Rain, yeah. Oh nice, would you rather have
me tease you with a feather or the ice cubes feather?
Feather. OK guys, would you rather wake
up to oral sex or full body massage?
(25:15):
Oral body massage. Would you rather skinny dip at
midnight or sunbathe a nude? Sunbathe the nude.
All right, I'm scared of the dark.
Would you rather fuck in front of a fireplace or the light of
hundreds of candles? Candles.
That sounds sexy as fuck. Right.
OK, Would you rather receive a sexy voicemail or an explicit
(25:38):
picture message? Voicemail.
I like voices. I like pictures.
Yeah, boy, men are more visual, women are more emotional, so
that makes. Sense.
Yes. OK.
Body chocolate or edible underwear.
Edible underwear chocolate. I've never tried it.
Chocolate. You can get bellyache.
I don't, I guess I, I know the person was really clean down
(26:00):
there and everything else and you know, he doesn't want no.
Boo Boo on his candy. I don't like to mix my treats
with my other treats. Oh my God.
OK, would you rather spend an entire day teasing each other
without release or have immediate satisfaction and come
quick? I like to be teased throughout
(26:21):
the day PO. I mean the tea Immediate.
No immediate. OK, immediate.
Immediate. OK, would you rather have your
body worshipped or worship someone else's body?
I like to be worshipped. OK, PO.
I like to worship. Oh my God, it's like we're meant
to be together. Like all of our questions are
like. Would you rather Would you
(26:45):
rather have sex in a cozy tent while camping or in the back of
a luxury SUV on a road trip? A luxury SVVI got a bad back we
got. I want the AC.
Yeah. AC that's a little bitch.
I'm sorry. Yeah, so great.
Would you rather have sex in an elegant antique chair or in a
(27:07):
fluffy modern rug? Yeah, rug feel like a chair
could be like. Rug.
Yeah, yeah. OK, which is best leather or
lace? Lace.
Leather. OK, would you rather have me
write out my desires on your body or whisper them in your
ear? Whisper.
(27:27):
Whisper them. I want to touch your pussy and
your deck. Stop it.
Please do, I can strap on one ofthose pussies.
We can make it work. Imagination.
(27:52):
I can draw a pussy on your tank.Yes, she's the tank and make it
look like a pussy. I'm sure we're gonna have to
draw shit. I know every guy has stuck his
Dick between his legs at one point and acted like they had a
pussy. Every dude has.
I know they have. Yes.
OK, so just saying the fat cat is like that though.
(28:14):
Wow, So Liv, Liv recently has talked to someone through this
dating app because, you know, she wants a third, you know, to
be fun, right? And she showed me this picture
and I was like, kind of like, like, why the fuck would you
post post that picture? Why would the fuck would you
post that video? So the thing of it is if you got
(28:35):
dirty fingernails and and you'reat a bad angle, that all that
shit's going bad. Yeah, the angle all by it.
You got to know what you're saying, right You?
Looked at the angle I lift the fingernails.
Either way, it's gross. It would be, yeah.
So I wasn't attracted to it. No, I still try to entertain it
and she still blew me off. All right, would you rather
watch porn or read erotica porn?Oh, read it OK.
(28:59):
Imagination is way. Better.
No, I'm I'm second guessing my my toes.
Literally choose any. Person I sometimes I like to
write my own shit with AI and I'll bust a nut to it so but you
know. Would you rather have your toes
sucked on or have your toes suck?
Wait, what? Your toes.
She was asking would you rather suck someone else's toes or have
my toes be sucked? I don't wanna put my mouth on a
(29:20):
Nancy food. By the way, I have latex socks
coming in that goes in between the toes.
Interesting. Yeah, that'd be great.
That's gonna be sexy. Interesting.
Yeah, but I tell you what, on the two men that I have sucked
on their toes, like their big toe, they say.
I didn't expect you to say that you sucked.
(29:41):
No, sorry. You know, I like feet, and if
they've got really cute feet, I'm down for.
Something I like saltiness. Yeah, they weren't salty.
I don't know who the fuck you'resucking.
Yeah. Was that a toe or a penis?
What you were saying when? I was younger, I used to chew on
my toenails. You're not the only one.
(30:02):
Yeah, and suck on people's feet.Okay, you are the only one on
that one. My grand not judging.
When we're in the pool, my granny would always try to stay
away from her. Yeah, my granny would run away
from me because I tried to suck on her toes, but they were just.
I know what salty feet taste like, so I always assume that
everybody has salty. Your grandmother made you suck
on her toes, so I sucked on her.Oh.
She did it voluntarily. Yeah, when I was like 6.
(30:25):
Wow. OK, so.
Things you learn about your diamond.
Yeah. Wow, I was a weird fucking
child. If we haven't learned this, I
don't. Know what you're.
Telling your fucking child. OK, I hear you.
I hear you. But anyway, back to my point on
this. Love you.
(30:47):
I don't know what. To my yeah, sorry guys, back to
my point on sucking toes. Please, I forgot where we're at.
Yeah, if they're clean toes spins.
I don't know who lives live as fucking but.
(31:09):
But anywho, the the toes can be so erotic with all of the
actual, you know, sensation plays and everything else.
And what is it? It's the connected to the toes
with the the bodies. What is the?
What am I thinking about are. You talking about like the
basically the chakras or the? Yes, yes, yes.
(31:30):
And it is an erogenous zone. But anywho, when I suck on their
big toes, and I've done this several men over the years, 2
specifically one being my husband, he would always say
he's like you know I can feel more when you suck my big toe
than I can when you suck my Dick.
Like I. Believe it 'cause I like
whenever the sub suck my toes, it feels like I'm like if I had
(31:50):
a Dick I'd stick it in your mouth right now.
Yeah yeah, they just sucking it like pulls all the blood to it
Yes likes crazy. The best person who's been able
to suck my toes something. Did you suck my toes?
Yeah, I have not sucked your. I know one of my Subs have yeah,
but my favorite one was Justin. Yeah, and he's not good at
anything, but he's. Leaving that.
(32:11):
Remember you talking about that?Yeah, he is really good at
sucking toes. See Justin, you do have a good
quality. Suck Dick though.
He can't see you suck A. Toe and not a Dick.
Suck a toe before I will suck a Dick so.
He does have a small mouth. He does have a small mouth,
we'll give him that, But Justin's so fucking sweet.
(32:33):
I mean, he is very sweet. He's so sweet, we.
Love you and miss you, Justin. Now, before we close out because
we're not going to go through all this.
It's so crazy, but it was that'sbeen fun.
It was fun. I liked how you how you did it,
just spitting them out. Yeah.
OK, well, we're going to do thatnext time.
Next time. And we'll do that for a second
(32:54):
episode. But I will say that again, we
have our new Patreon account. We do have a new podcast, and it
is Mistress Mia's bedtime stories when I'm doing stories
that are typically based on truestories of my experiences.
And so I hope everyone wants to come visit that and enjoy it.
(33:14):
I will put out so many free onesand then I'll put out partials
so they can pick it up on Patreon if they want to read the
rest or listen to the rest. But we have several perks on
there. And if they join me, the third
tier Madam Liv or I will send them a special gift, something
from the dungeon. Or you know, she's got some sexy
(33:34):
panties she could always wear and send.
Them out, Yeah. And I I get wet during the day,
they start smelling a little mice.
Yeah, yeah. Musty girl.
Yeah, well, I'm not musty. Girl, she's like whoa, whoa,
whoa. Too far, too far, Musty.
(33:56):
Can be sexual. Like, no, they like men's
Cologne has the Musk and everybody's like, oh, it's
musty. And they're like it can be a.
Good thing no? I'm trying to.
I'm trying to. Help.
Leave me. What the?
She'd rather say snail trail, which is precum.
(34:19):
She'd rather fucking say that. I I have never heard this term
so. Yes snail trail is like a pre
cum like you're getting hot and bothered and wet by.
It Oh, I thought it was the wetness from a girl.
Yes. Oh, that's not.
Yes, but you just said it that way.
Yeah, but but why would your panties get wet?
(34:39):
Because you get turned on, right?
Why would you call that pre cum?Because it's like you're pre
coming. It's like you're do you well, do
you push out more liquid when you're coming?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's why some women
squirt. No.
Do they come right? No, listen, Squirt.
Squirt is piss. Squirt is pee.
Yeah, squirt is pee. Not saying there's not a.
(35:01):
Huge debate about this subject. It is pee.
It is just an orgasm as the samething.
Yeah. And it's an orgasm.
It's so different. But when you release it is pee.
When they say to do it, they saypush into the feeling of peeing
because we're like, Oh my God, it feels like I'm about to pee.
Push into it. And that's how you come like
that. OK.
Yeah. But I've never been able to do
it because I'm scared. Well, there's I don't want to be
(35:23):
here. I push it like I'm peeing every
time when I come. So yeah, I'm a squirter,
apparently. There's there's a trick, there's
a trick to getting woman to to come like that, to actually,
actually come and. Squirt or pee.
I have tried. We've looked up stuff and I have
tried and where you like pull up.
(35:46):
Say if you have, say if he's using a big, big toy on you, for
example, use a big toy. And then if he presses down on
your pelvis, on your, on your pelvic bone where yes, towards
your, your bladder and your pelvic bone, that will work OK.
Like right above your, your cubic bone, your mom's pubis.
(36:10):
Your mom's pubis is in front of your vagina.
Curled up until it'd be like a little man.
That is the scientific term, Mom's pubis, that.
Sounds like a slang term that I would, yeah.
Got a mom's pupis over here. Come on, lady.
And back to vaginal secretion. OK, she's OK with like pussy and
(36:35):
cum and but all of a sudden you use some scientific words.
Let's. She.
Said she likes muscles secretion.
No, no, no, I didn't say that. I said if you have vaginal
secretion, if you drink more fluids, you will have more
vaginal secretion. Well, that would make sense.
I'm always dehydrated but I get so wet.
(36:56):
I know so. I was.
That's why it was dehydrated, because it's it's going down.
There. You're right, I'm always
winning. I'm.
Saying yes, yeah, the coffee doesn't help.
No. All right, so this is fun, all
right? Vaginal secretions and all.
(37:17):
Yeah. Is that what they call it the
man? Is that what they call it?
The man in the boat? The man in the boat is supposed
to be the boat. Yeah, yeah.
I'm just thinking because it's, you know, just wet down there
too. So, you know, it's like a boat,
you know, talk. About the clit.
Yes. Yes, yeah.
And the man I. Would prefer mine to be a woman.
I agree. Although you do suck it like a
(37:37):
penis, so I don't. Know the woman.
And the clit is a penis technically.
Yeah, I know. I'm pretty big so you could find
it. She said there's no Where's
Waldo with me? Absolutely, honey, if you can't
figure it out, you're blind. Ohh wow.
Jesus, OK. But even if you're blind, you
could rage all that shit. Ohh yeah or you just look for
(37:58):
loophole. All right, so let's go to
Georgia. OK, That's a great Charles song.
Just saying. Just throwing that out there.
Yeah, you're old. OK, you're.
Judo. They're messing around.
You know, that would be the songI'll be thinking.
Thank you. Oh.
God bless. OK, All right.
Anyway, on that note, we're not doing that freaky like can we do
(38:23):
the sexy Call me Mistress? Please do it.
If I could creep out the letters, I would.
Oh my God. OK, and then Tilden,
motherfuckers, here we go. This is in the latest episode
of. Call me Mistress.
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