TRYING TO FIND MR. RIGHT? OR MR. RIGHT NOW?

IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO DATE, LET ALONE TRYING TO FIND, "THE ONE".. GOOD LUCK, LADIES!

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Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me, ma'am.
Live. Hi, guys.
Then we have our summer fun slave who is in the house, hey?
How's it going? You sounded Italian there, hey.
Pesto pest racist I think. Isn't everything these days?

(00:32):
Culturally inappropriate. It's.
A spicy meatball. Speaking of spicy meatballs, PO,
you're a dude. We're talking today.
We're going to talk about datingwomen.

(00:54):
Now we're prompting you at some point to do a dating profile.
Yes. We're going to help you with
that this summer. I I look forward to it, Would
you? Be on Christian Mingle.
Oh, you know, I was thinking farmers only, you know, You
know, you start, you'll get low and you go high, you know?
Farmersonly.com. Well, that's Ricola.

(01:19):
Ricola Well, you know a. Lot of our friends, it's kind of
funny because Liv has experienced this.
She has gone out with people whohave dated other people that
she's known and crisscrossed back and forth and it's like 1,
we're in a small area, 2. You know, it is, it's just a
couple cities and combined and it's kind of fucking funny

(01:43):
because it's all in one dating site, which is Facebook Dating.
But it's funny because everybodyfucking knows everybody.
Without knowing anybody. Yes.
Yeah, I, I, I didn't even know that Facebook had a, a dating
that's. Area well we're going to dabble
in it just for you I. Think it's classier than Tinder.
Tinder's like get hookup site. You know, Facebook, I feel like
everything can be turned into a hookup, but I feel like Facebook

(02:05):
was a little classier. Have you been on Bumble?
Before yes girls can talk 1st and that was annoying because
I'm like I want them to ask. Me you're 1.
Of those girls. OK, OK, The traditionalist.
Well. You know, my mom always said
never chase after a man and she absolutely fucking right.
So I think that's a that's a step in the right direction,

(02:26):
honestly, because men need to search, they need to hunt.
They need, yeah, the hunters. I would agree with that.
There's there's a certain majestic characteristics in the
thrill of the hunt. Once you start know the
pursuing, I guess the old predator prey evolutionary, you
know, impact that it has on us that, you know, fight for what's
ours and that includes hunting and gathering the ladies.

(02:48):
You know, Keanu Reeves once was asked, are you a lover?
Are you a fighter? And he said, well, if you're a
lover, you're automatically a fighter because you want to
fight for love. And I mean, honestly, he can say
whatever the fuck he wants because he's gorgeous.
Thought he was pretty at. All.
Oh God, he is. Looks like he's got a cork of
his butt. I don't care.
He's got long, greasy hair. I don't care.

(03:10):
All of his characters are the same.
Well. No, you need to go back to like
the the older 90s like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure when
he was a kid or parenthood. Funny shit.
It's great classic. OK.
OK, I think that about the matrix is when he started going
and doing the same character. Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, he didn't have greasy hairand even if.

(03:32):
He didn't have any hair. No matrix it was.
He was bald. When he was outside of the yeah,
But when he was in the Matrix, he was.
He had hair. Yeah, he had that crew.
Because it is how you imagine yourself in the matrix.
He was a sexy motherfucker and he has a sexy ass body.
I don't fucking care. All right?
OK. You like Leonardo Leonardo's OK

(03:55):
to me. I like.
I know you do. I like the the big head.
Yeah, that big head and the broad body.
Now, when did you start getting into Leonardo?
Was it the Titanic? No, it was Blood Diamond.
OK, OK. Yeah.
He knew what he was doing, you know?
I've always loved Keanu. But he's still kind of bad guy
in there. I like the bad guy.

(04:16):
Yeah, You remember we were talking about crushes that one
time we did. You're like, oh, Reese
Witherspoon. I'm like, yeah, she's adorable.
But, you know, she's kind of built like Leonardo, you know?
They're both short. They're broader, little compact
with the big head. But it looks cute on her.
It looks handsome on him. Whatever works, but I'm just
saying the two of you are kind of going for the same like male,
female bodies. That's my point.

(04:38):
I also mind the lips to like Daniel official from Boy Meets
World Topanga. Oh yes.
Topanga I got to thinking about after I left and I was like how
dare I not mention her name on my my crush list cuz yeah that.
She's a beautiful girl. She yeah.
Don't you hate fake lips though?Yes.
If it looks like fake lips, definitely yeah.

(04:59):
I don't like fake lips. Yeah, as you can tell.
Well, my number one main crush doesn't fucking matter is
Marshall Mathers. I will fuck Eminem time and time
again, and I had a raunchy fucking dream with him in it
last night. Oh my.
God what? Give us details.
Oh my God, I don't mind telling you the details, PO.
It is. It was dirty, OK?

(05:21):
It was. We met.
I was doing a book signing. I was there.
He met me. He loved the podcast.
I met him. I was like, you know, you've
always been my hall pass. And he's like, oh, I'm totally
down with that. I like girls just like you.
And Needless to say, it was an all out oral fest of fun.
It was sucking and fucking and it was raunchy.

(05:44):
And he was like, you need to stay with me.
And then we kind of like, reallyhit it off and he didn't want me
to leave. And I'm like, you know, you can
move to Florida and my husband will still share me.
He'll be OK with it. And he's like, really?
He's like, I'm getting a condo in Florida.
I was like, oh God yes, because I could do that fucking all day

(06:04):
long. That's that's a good dream.
That's a good dream. I wasn't done yet, let me tell
you. The rest of it is we're in the
condo at the beach and it's a three-way with who?
With me in between Marshall Mathers and my husband.
Oh, nice. So I had two sexy men with two
hot bodies. Yeah, I'm just saying.
And Marshall Mathers, He was doing a pounding, it was

(06:27):
thought. You say like Halle Berry or
something. What you.
Always liked your little black? Girl, that was my.
That was his. He was.
Small black women. Well, I like little teeny.
Like small teeny, sure. Yeah, like, gosh, there was one
girl on a show back in the 90s, but honestly, I don't even
remember who it was. It was kind of moot to my point.

(06:48):
But do you? Remember I.
Don't remember. I don't remember.
I think it was like a different world.
It was, you know, like a Cosby thing.
Yeah, because she was like a little short, cute.
I love little black girls, don'tget me wrong, But Marshall
Mathers #1 number one on my list.
Yeah, 100%. Sorry.
I just had to monopolize that for a moment because it was a
just a hot, dirty dream. And I woke up and I was like.

(07:09):
Do you think it's do you think it's just his looks or do you
think it's also that he has almost like a a Dom personality?
See, I I don't think he has a Dom personality.
I think that's a total persona. I think he really is submissive.
OK, Because he kept calling me, you know, Goddess in my dream.

(07:29):
OK, but like if he's if he's in the Eminem, you saw that yeah,
you don't find it as like a Dom personality.
I understand like The Marshall Mathers personality would not be
and you know they but as pure like Eminem Slim Shady Slim
Shady is. Like, he would still be on the
knees for a woman. He would just like to choke
sometimes. Yeah, I feel like he's like a
choker, but I feel like yeah, hewould definitely be his.

(07:52):
I think he has some oral fixation too.
I really do. I think he'd be amazing at oral
sex. Like he kept begging me in my
dream. Go down on me, he.
Place it off the. Screen, I agree with you because
of the words that he has to manipulate to come out with all
those words, he probably would be pretty good at oral.
Yes, you think about. Yes.
Exactly. Exactly.

(08:14):
Rap God, he could do like Rap God on you down there.
That would probably be incredible for.
You. That sounds hot actually.
Thank you. But aside from my sexual
feelings on this man, I'm just saying if you look at him, I
think he has to. And I'm usually very good at
reading people, sectioning what they like.
I have to block it out for a lotof people that I really don't

(08:34):
want to see, like family members, for example.
I don't want to know they're kings.
So I kind of block that out. But with him, I can just always
see him on his knees as a very good submissive.
And that's that's how I envisionhim.
I don't see him as this dominantasshole male in bed.
I just don't see that. OK, OK.
I could, you know, I'll I'll to the master.
You know you would. You would know better than I

(08:56):
would. I mean, I, I've had hundreds of
hundreds of, you know, sex partners.
I'm I think I'm pretty good at coining this.
Hey, whatever, you're good. Something be the best at.
I was. Gonna say we're having rights
out there a little I guess. You're sure I'm?
Sure, yeah. I'll say a little girl.
All right, let's get back to her.

(09:17):
OK, yes, dating women. All right, well, Liv, go ahead.
Let's talk about some red flags with red flags.
Yes. Well I've noticed red flags
would be constantly deflecting and not wanting to hang out
because if you're into a guy youwant to hang out with him and
you want to make plans with it immediately because you don't
want another girl coming out of the works for him.
So you like I will make plans with you right now and if I

(09:38):
don't, I'll make plans with you right now.
Even if the right now plans are for next week.
If I'm not making plans with youright now, it's not gonna
happen. Not gonna happen, OK.
Yeah. That's that's that.
Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, cuz no excuse is valid.
No excuse. Yeah, right.
If I want you, I'll make plans, even if it's from a month from
now, but it's gonna be a plan. OK, OK.
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

(10:01):
Like I said, don't want somebodyelse to step in at the same time
that, you know, or if it is a competition, yeah, you want at
least be neck and neck with the other person and eventually come
out ahead. Yeah, I know I would.
With the sideways talk so Poe, you're going to at some point
cross that bridge into dating. Is there something that you

(10:21):
absolutely you have a red flag against?
You're like, I'm not doing it. I refuse.
I don't necessarily, I'll try anything once and if I like it,
I'll try it twice. But no, when it comes to like
dating, that type of thing, I mean, we all have our types
that, you know, that we look for.
And I have personality types more even than I do like visual

(10:41):
types. You know, I like somebody who's
who's goofy, who can, you know, laugh and that type of thing.
If you're just too serious or ifI send a text to you and then
every time if you look at the text, you automatically think
it's like the most negative version.
It's not just being silly and goofy.
That would be one of my red flags.
You're right. It's why you know, why would I

(11:01):
send you a text to be like mean it's, it's we're joking, that
type of thing. But they look too far into it,
which is why I will go back and edit my any text message I send
at least 16 times to go. Is there any way that they can
view this as what other than I'mtrying to say?
And I think, honestly, I think text messages can be
misconstrued. Absolutely all the.

(11:22):
Time. And that's why it's always
better to me just to talk. Call, Call, Yeah.
Like, hey, if you're. Gonna text text hey.
Are you free to call right? Boom.
I think that's always. Facetime's cool, too.
Yeah, when you're dating, definitely.
FaceTime you you iPhone users. But you got out there on
Android. Yeah, Yes, we do.
They're the best. It's green.

(11:43):
Oh, Green. That's OK, But we can, we can
like actually like download stuff and not to pay like
$16,000,000 to the same company.You can break them and download
all kinds of stuff on it so. There goes our iPhone and Apple
podcast. Sponsors the Galaxy, y'all got
us. Exactly.

(12:04):
All right. I think with women, if they lie
once, that's pretty much a no go.
I think that, you know, if they're going to lie about
something small, they'll lie about something big.
If they lie, they're willing to steal.
That's. Both sides too man 100%.
I feel like all these are going to be both ways.
Right. Absolutely.
Dating in general? Absolutely.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense too.
You know what I always notice too is if you go out to eat, how

(12:26):
do they treat wait staff? Oh yes, how do they treat other
people? How do they?
Treat their mothers. How do they treat animals?
Animals. You know that's.
A big one. Or if it's a female, how do they
treat their dad? Yeah, you know, because that's
how daddy issues, you know they're going to be.
Well, and I think it is true a lot of times, you know, when you
date, you know, you can have a. How's.

(12:48):
Your relationship with your dad.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. You know, lovely pillow talk.
But yeah, he. Loved me.
When I was young. Perfect, you're in.
Exactly. Exactly.
I think too, another red flag isI hate and and my my girlfriends
would always talk about this. They were like, yeah, you know

(13:10):
when I went on the date I told him my ex-boyfriend did.
It's like, don't bring up your fucking ex-boyfriend.
What's wrong with you? Yeah, yeah.
Cuz then you're automatically ina competition and when you don't
need to be in one, yeah. Yeah, and they have a lot more
history with that other person. Yeah, you're not going to.
Win that, you've got no competition.
If they have the history. Absolutely, Absolutely.

(13:31):
All right, should we jump into green flags?
Green flags somebody who's very considerate, but not too
considerate where it's needy because that could be a red
flag. Very tiptoe line, but I would
say very considerate. Somebody who takes us back.
They don't just leave you on redor like they like, you know, be
consistent. I think consistency is really
it. Yeah, they have kids.

(13:52):
How they treat their kids. Oh, nice.
Like, that is huge. Absolutely.
I look at that dynamic between amom and their kids and they
treat their kids a certain way. Yeah, that's that doesn't, you
know, doesn't work for me. How they treat their kids
parent. I think that's really important
too, yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.
But yeah, it's not a good dynamic hit.

(14:15):
Then that's who she's supposed they're supposed to, you know,
love the most and have that. Yeah, they yeah.
She's not treating them well. She's not going to treat you
well. Absolutely.
All right, other green flags. Let's see.
Oh goodness, what would be something really good?

(14:37):
Well, I know we're we're going to get into like the
personalities of people, but at the same time there's.
Like it's the red flag. Honesty, if you can tell they're
an honest person, definitely would be something.
No matter what happens, you knowyou could trust them.
How about someone with just goals that's always A+?
Like what they want to accomplish?
Hobbies. Their own hobbies, yes.

(14:57):
So they're not relying on your own, your hobbies.
Absolutely. So personalities of different
people. Wow.
I, I really, this goes back to ared flag, but I really had an
issue because I had two friends that I worked with all the time
and I considered them friends because, you know, we, we shared
common interests and we'd go outevery so often, dinner,

(15:18):
whatever. But my biggest problem is that
they would stay with their significant others just for
financial gain. That is huge for me.
So of course, when I would say something like, are you going to
divorce them or are you going toleave them, you know, you're not
happy. No, I just don't want to do that
right this moment. So instead they would cheat.

(15:39):
Obviously, I did that. I definitely prolonged it.
Yeah. And I think it probably made it
hard on people because they werelike you.
You talk so bad about it, why won't you leave them?
And I was like, I was scared. He was the only thing I knew.
Yeah. Well, once I did it, I was so
liberating. But you were so young though,
too. I think that's different than,
say, a woman in her 30s. You know that is different

(16:00):
because you're like, you should have your life together by now.
And that in society puts, you know, according to what, you
know, line you go, you know, thetraditional value of no, the the
guy works and the girl stays at home with the kids.
Well, if that's happening, that means that you're not going to
be very financially well off as it is.
So you have no choice but to hang around with that person
until either a you can get back on your feet or save up a little

(16:23):
money And especially and say if you have kids.
Yeah, I don't. Especially young one.
Young kids, yeah, Yeah. So there's no way to do where
you got a job and paying for daycare right away?
No, my goodness, no. Daycare is crazy.
I don't have kids, but I know it's crazy.
No, it's astronomical. What's your whole paycheck?
Yeah, no, I've definitely had a manager at one point he was

(16:44):
like, yeah, we were, she was going to get a job and all that
kind of stuff, and I fully support it.
But then we looked at daycares and we're like, well, you'll be
making less. Money.
You know, in the long run, so hesaid, you know, I don't.
She wanted to really do it. We would.
But you know, it doesn't make financial sense to do that.
Now I did an episode with Evie last week and it's going to come

(17:04):
out before this episode, but it talks about men searching for
women to date, right? And so I really said, and one of
the on this episode specificallywas that I think men and a lot
of women, I think I think they're willing to settle for
people instead of looking at thefull picture.
Yes, like just settle for anybody that wants me or anybody
that likes me. And I think that really like my

(17:27):
friend. Oh my God, he literally he
thinks that anybody giving him attention is going to be the
one. And if it doesn't, then if it
doesn't fall through, then it's his.
He's got a problem. And then it's like it's not your
problem. He just wasn't the right.
Person that's sad. And he dates the wrong.
People, you're constantly blaming yourself or something
that. He gets a really bad.
Depression whatsoever, Yeah. These people are.
You're not even going for the right people.

(17:48):
Yeah, I tried doing the dating app for and I got bored.
Well, I think the, the things tolook for, I mean, if we're going
to get superficial here for a moment, is when you're looking
at pictures of people. I always said, and I and I told
this to my nephew, I said look, if there's a woman and I'm
giving you the same advice, go on their Facebook, OK?

(18:08):
Listen. If there's a woman that you're
starting to talk to, go on her Facebook and if she puts
multiple selfies. You know, my nephew dated some
woman before and she took the same fucking picture of herself
at work in the woman's bathroom because she thought she looked
cute. Every fucking day, OK?

(18:29):
It's the same shit. Or of heavily filtered.
Pictures. Heavily filtered pictures.
Snapchat has gotten. Or pictures in the fucking car
every single fucking day. Look at my eyeshadow, look at my
hair. Look at this, look at OK, those
are attention sinking hoes. They will.
Cheat on you they. Will cheat on you.

(18:51):
They will fucking drain the lifeout of you, OK?
OK. So if women are taking multiple
selfies, run. OK, don't walk.
Run. Alright, well if any attention
seeking hoes want to come out out two weeks, I can give you a
shot. You know, I'm just saying I'm,
I'm not as strict as these. Ladies.
I love that. You're versatile.

(19:12):
I love it. I'm just saying, you know?
He's like you. Gotta keep your options open,
yeah? Don't close all the doors.
Exactly. At least we leave a window open
if you do. Well, you know, some guys too.
Guys are not very particular, but I've seen this in women too.
There, there's a picture floating around where this girl
did a selfie, and she actually has her toilet seat open in the

(19:35):
picture. Yes, yes.
And you see everything that's inthe toilet.
Yeah, it's disgusting. But I'm saying when you're
taking pictures of yourself, youhave to.
Look at your background. You do.
You do. Yeah, you do.
Yeah. I, I've taken a couple of, you
know, photos and, you know, angle to the camera just the
right way because my bathroom sink was like, full of just, you

(19:57):
know, hair products and all thatkind of stuff.
And, like, I don't think I'm a little nasty little bitch.
Come on. We're going to take some good
pictures of him there When? Everybody I've seen some of the
pictures that y'all take. I'm act.
That's thing I'm most excited about.
Awesome. Like I want to get nice
pictures. Yeah, we'll gladly do that.
Let's see. But types of personalities with
women, that is a big red flag, as you know, being superficial.

(20:21):
I think there's there's things about a woman that it's good
that she dresses really well every day in a sense.
But if she puts so much effort into being materialistic and
spending a ton of money on everything with her nails all
the time, with jewelry, with everything and always looking
perfect, either she can really afford it or she can't and she

(20:42):
lives beyond her means. So it's one thing to treat
yourself, to get your nails done, you know, once or twice a
month when you need a fill, But it's another thing that they're
so consistent with it, so it makes you think, OK, how vain
are they? How much money do they have to
afford it? And are they living beyond their
means on credit cards? Or do they have only fans?

(21:02):
No, there you go, only fans for.And I'm one of those weird ones.
I, I, I love the dolled up look whenever you, you know, we're
going out to a fancy restaurant,all that kind of stuff.
But much preferred, just a natural look, just whenever you
know, sitting around and not do anything.
You don't gotta impress me at that point.
If I'm with you and I like you for you, you don't have to.
You know I. Think you should still impress

(21:23):
your person? But at that point, do you need
to impress me? By the looks?
No. Just sometimes, every now and
then, five things that little lingerie or well.
Sure, sure. Date go on a date and.
Get it? Yeah.
That's something. If you're going out, you know,
into town, that kind of stuff, then yeah, get all gussied up,
you know, just like I would expect myself to do.
But you're just sitting around, you know, I like that.

(21:43):
First wake up in the morning, natural.
On the cheek. Yes, all that.
Yeah, exactly, exactly. You know there's a certain
genetic qua in that. Nice.
So when you start dating a woman, you're going to go out
with her a few times and whatever, and when you have her
back to your house at some pointnow, if she starts making effort

(22:04):
to like set your table for you or just dive in to actually do
those things, nest, building thenest.
If she starts building the nest at your house, she likes you.
When she stops building the nest, she's no longer interested
in you. And she'll stick around.
But she'll wait to just kind of like, see, is it gonna work?
Is it gonna happen? And she starts slowly, not
building the nest. You know it's not gonna work.

(22:25):
Interesting. Just.
Go ahead and cut her off. See, these are these are good
things. Yeah, I didn't notice.
I didn't notice about myself until I started dating and I
started realizing, oh, I'm a I'mgonna paint your walls.
I got so excited about building a nest essentially in the house.
And then eventually if I stoppedliking them, I literally would
stop but still hang around. It was weird.
It was like I literally watched myself go through.
That no that's very interesting because I I dated a girl that

(22:48):
like I would leave a pair of shorts there or something and
she would like spaz out because she like no, don't don't don't
leave your stuff here not not even if she didn't Yeah, yeah.
And that makes perfect sense nowthat you're saying, you know,
she. Didn't want you building your.
Nest over there. Yeah, that's very interesting.
She wants other people to be there.
It's interesting, yeah. I've never even thought about
it. And that's the thing too, if

(23:10):
women if when they're dating like that, I'm like Liv, if
they're putting effort to make something comfortable for you in
their home, You know, when I first got married and my husband
Morehouse, I packed up a huge car, full trunk full of all this
stuff to make his house that he was staying at homey.
So if they make all that effort,when it's mutual effort, that's

(23:33):
when you know she's the right person for you.
But if she's not making 100% effort to make you more
comfortable, it's time to let her go.
That's a natural thing a woman should do anyways.
Yeah, that's really what we are to do.
Yeah. So when we start doing that,
we're in our national. Yeah.
Agreed. And then if it's not
reciprocated, you stop, right? If I'm not getting the man that
I was intended to get, then it'sjust going to, I'm not going to

(23:55):
be that person for you anymore, right?
You know, a lot of people come to us for a reason.
The guys that have been there inrelationships, right?
And they'll complain in this oh you know my wife isn't in the
BDS sound. Well here's the thing.
How much effort are you putting in the relationship in the 1st
place? Why is she not into BDSM?
Well, women respond with the gratifying man who is willing to

(24:19):
give them, you know, their needs.
So if you meet a woman's needs and you satisfy their happiness,
then they will give it twofold if they don't.
Just like you give your seed, they make a baby.
Yes, you give your efforts. They make it like you give them
like you have the they give you a home, you know, like right,
it's like they they. Constant reciprocation, yeah.

(24:39):
They're multipliers are not multipliers.
Oh, I know what you're saying. It's a biblical term.
Yeah, I'm glad you want to throwreligion in here.
Yeah. Be fruitful to multiply.
Yeah, but I mean. It's the same concept.
But yes. But it's, it's just a mutual
understanding that if, if you are giving your woman the

(24:59):
gratification that she needs forsomething specific, then she's
going to do the same thing for you twofold.
And so that's what Liv is saying, you know, build a home.
You know, she will build a house, she'll make it a home,
that kind of thing. It's the same concept.
So when men come to the dungeon and they're married and they're
just like, Oh yeah, my wife's not into this blah, blah, blah.

(25:21):
Well, a lot of wives probably don't want to fuck their dude
with strap on. I get it.
Or a lot of women don't want to cross dress their husbands, I
get it. But if they did something for
their wife in a sense that made them completely happy.
So I have this one crossdresser and he basically wants to be a
cuckold and he, he's never told his wife this, he's never been

(25:42):
honest with her. And I think that's what he's not
doing. He would rather make his wife
feel like shit and want her to cheat on her own with him.
He's not being open. He's not giving her an intimate
level of communication. But I think that's the point.
When you don't have an emotionalconnection, it makes
relationships very, very difficult.
We're talking about women datingeither way for either sex

(26:06):
because Evie and I did that lastepisode.
It'll be posting this week as well.
Is it really off putting when women bring up their past
relationships though? Yeah, it, it can be because you
feel like you're being compared,you know?
Yeah, I mean it, it really probably is because, you know,
you're trying to get to know thethe person, you're trying to get
to know them for them. And then you throw out, you

(26:26):
know, this is what they used to do or, you know, and then like I
said, you're being compared or you have to match that energy or
something of that nature. And it's just, don't you want to
know me and not think about that?
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
And a lot of people make that that same mistake with, you
know, bringing up the past and, and what people like and what
they don't like and the types ofrelationships and how or why it

(26:47):
didn't work. You know, I mean, there's a
reason why it didn't work. Ultimately, this is the nitty
gritty. We've already cut into 30
minutes of this, but we're goingto wrap it up with our last.
This is kind of funny. We, you know, we have bullet
points we put on a board in front of us that we really have
to cover. And so we had Poe write them
down and, and Liv and I are going back and forth and all

(27:08):
three of us are like, okay, whatabout for women dating?
What do we really need to have them aware of?
And the last thing is hygiene. Yes.
It's very important. I didn't ask for both though a
few shows stinky. Like you could just be like hey,
I'm not feeling well if it's something you can't really help

(27:29):
right you know? But otherwise, clean that shit.
All right, well, I'm going to throw this out.
So the other day the three of uswere part of a very interesting
situation. Who?
Knows what I'm talking about. Talking about tumbleweed.
We are talking about tumbleweed.So we had a gentleman that came,

(27:49):
oh, he had the double mustache over his genitals.
He had came to the dungeon a fewmonths back, and it was one of
the first people you had seen almost a year ago when you first
came. And you were just like, oh, he's
so nice. And, you know, he's so
attractive and very sweet. And I'm like, yeah, but look at

(28:10):
that fucking Bush he's got. And I think, you know, people
getting stuck in a relationship and they don't want to continue
with their personal grooming. Yeah.
And so he calls and he's like, so Mistress Mia, do you think
you can shave it? I'm like, yeah, I'm going to
whip out the fucking dog groomerbecause you're a fucking dog and
I'm going to shave it off. And I said then PO was going to

(28:34):
blow you with the blower and Liv's going to laugh at you and
take pictures. It was pretty.
It was pretty interesting process.
He finally got to blow a man. I no, I told you that with my
red that I would never blow a man, but since it was with the,
you know the blower. Electric blower.
I'm gonna give it a pass. It was legit, you know he was.

(28:57):
A grower, not a shower. Yeah, his little weenie he
likes. But it it went, it was just
going and going. I'm like, Jesus, how much can I
go? You know what's sad is though,
with somebody who has an annoying personality with a nice
penis. Yeah, it's wasted.
It is wasted and he was annoyingand I wanted to punch him.

(29:17):
I don't think he was annoying, but he definitely was something
so. Well, you know, you had to come
get me. I was getting ready to get in
the shower and he immediately starts saying sexually
inappropriate things to you and and I was like, did you tell him
we're not hookers and he needs to respect that?
And so I go down there and I'm like, well, Liv had to come get

(29:38):
me right before I got in the shower and it was because of
you. So of course I pretty seated to
spit on him and I've chugging mywater in front of him and then,
you know, spitting water on him.But I'm like, you're fucking
pathetic. Why would you stand here and
make sexual innuendos a request to Madam Liv?
She is a dominatrix. She's not a hooker.

(29:58):
He's like, I'm really sorry about that.
And of course he's got a big dogmask on, which makes you laugh
harder. But then we just tortured him
the rest of the time. I mean, and we were really
getting out our aggression, likeLiv was putting heavy weights on
his nipples and. You had tied his balls up, so
they were like really tight. So it's really hard to get any
skin. Yeah, cool.

(30:21):
I smacked with a spoon. He's like, don't leave any mugs.
It was like big old red it looked.
Like a big ringworm is what it was.
Like nobody's not thinking you had sex with anybody.
You fell down the stairs, you little bitch.
That's it, I said your your wife's going to think you have
ringworm. We're doing her a favor because
she's not going to. Want to you got to shave your
hairs because you have ringworm?Exactly, and that's why I told.
Him. I like it.
I like it. That's believable.

(30:43):
Humiliated more outside when we made him spread his ass and
we're like oh Oh yeah we always.Yeah, yeah.
That was a That was a sight to behold.
That really was. Like, yeah, Whoopi Goldberg back
there, just all the hair, like spreading out.
It was. Yeah, it was.
That was the only thing here he left on his body was just.

(31:05):
Ass crack. That's Whoopi Goldberg's dreads.
Coming out, that's exactly it. That's exactly it.
Like Whoopi Goldberg in a headlock, you know, down between
her ass cheeks. You know, it's it was, you will
be. But yeah.
That's hilarious. That was gross.
But but yeah, what was really funny too, PO, you didn't see

(31:26):
this part, but we're in the dungeon and I said, do you know
what boss Gianato is? And he's like, no, Liv says,
well, you're getting ready to find out.
She's like, put your foot up. She starts hitting him with the
with the bamboo stick and, and of course, he's like 00.
And I said, hey, you're the one who said not to leave marks.

(31:47):
Your wife is not going to look under the bottoms of your feet.
Very I'm very wise. I I like that strategy exactly.
Still give him what you paid for, but you know, we're just
doing in a little secretive way.And then every time he walks he
be reminded of why he has those marks.
Yes, and why he's a fucking loser.
He loved it. He did love it.

(32:09):
He loved it. Shave your asshole.
Shave your asshole. Yeah, get in there.
You know, just Justin came to see me yesterday and Justin says
I was mowing the yard the other day, mistress and and I heard
you, you talked about me and andhow I shaved my face and I need
to shave and go to the hair salon and and of course, you

(32:32):
know, I'm telling him I'm like, you got the shave that fucking
pussy hair off your face. You're fucking pathetic pig.
And he's like, I loved it so. Have you heard him?
Have you met him? I have not met.
Him. He's got the cutest little
giggle. He does have a.
Cute giggle. No.
I've heard many, many of storieson the on the cast about it, but
I've not not met him. Yeah.

(32:52):
He has been on the podcast but not talking.
Correct. They're rubbing her feet poorly.
He sucks and rubbing feet. It is so bad and you'll tell him
like you do it so bad and he'll laugh and continue.
That was the one that you said he would all of a sudden get in
the conversation and kind of slap your foot, yes.

(33:12):
'Cause he's talking with his. Hands, yeah.
I'm like, I'm going to punch youin the fucking nuts when you do
that. What nuts?
Yeah, well, no. What penis?
Just say that. Well, that's our inside of this
nuts. Pull them things out.
That's called ovaries. Justin, you have ovaries, you

(33:33):
little bitch. I learned about this in an
anatomy. I know this.
It. Was.
So funny, one day we went in thedungeon and we were all like
trying to fit him for a chastity.
And, you know, Charles was trying to give us advice on it,
you know, and finally Liv's like, Oh no, I got the the
chastity. So she pulls one out of the

(33:54):
cabinet and he's like, Madame Liv, would you help me?
I'm like, you need Liv to pull your testicles out of your body.
He's like, I don't know how she does it.
How do you do it? You know when you have an Audi
belly button? Yeah, you push on the outer skin

(34:14):
and it pokes out a little bit more.
OK. That's kind of what it was.
OK. He has a man pussy pouch.
Yes, and that sound is where hisovaries are, so she has to reach
up and pull. His ovaries.
Down. And they, they fight with me.
They want to stay in his body. Too.
They do. They're like, Oh no, we want to
be a woman. And I said yes, you're a Sissy.

(34:37):
Fat. Oh, we miss you, Justin.
Yes, I'm back with you with. Justin, wash your ass.
So it's been so fucking fun and PO, we get you for the whole
summer if you can tolerate us. Hi, I'm here.
Let's do it. This is going to be fun, and

(34:59):
honestly, the next episode we'regoing to talk about I've got a
fabulous fucking story. You're going to love it.
Nice. You know you're going to close
this out today, right? I would love to.
Perfect. All right, so PO.
Until then, this has been the latest episode of.
Call me Mistress.