February 3, 2025 • 22 mins
This episode explores the challenges faced by Christian singles in navigating the modern dating landscape, emphasizing faith, self-worth, and relationship dynamics. Through an engaging dialogue, Brother Nick and Sister Taleria share personal experiences and biblical insights, advocating for a thoughtful approach to dating and relationships that honors God.
• Discussing the feeling of loneliness among singles
• Exploring the fear of rejection in modern dating
• Evaluating the gender disparity in the dating world
• Understanding the importance of valuing self-worth
• Challenging contemporary dating vs. biblical courtship
• Discussing the emotional and spiritual impacts of fornication
• Advocating for strong relational foundations rooted in faith
• Highlighting the importance of Godly principles in relationships
• Promoting dialogue within the Christian community on dating
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Call by God podcast.
I'm your truly brother, nick,and I'm here with my sister
Taleria, sister, sister Taleria.
You know I'm her big brotherand she's been getting on me.
Yeah, she's been saying I'vebeen pronouncing her name wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yes, you and your wife say Taler, taler.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I've been saying Taleria, taleria, bestie Curry.
Yes, and it's Taleria Betsy.
Our whole name is messed up.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And did you say, brother Nick?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I said I'm your truly brother.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Nick Sister Curry Sister.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Curry.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, so this is another take, so we're doing
another episode.
I guess I was led to do anepisode about dating and
relationships mainly becauseyou've been asking me a lot
about dating lately Not sayingthat you want to date, but I
guess you wanted my wisdom as itrelates to dating and I was
(00:58):
like you know what?
If she's asking these questions,I'm sure there are a lot of
people out there askingquestions about dating right,
because I was once single beforeand now as a married man, as a
married man.
So I guess you're going to haveto light me up with questions,
(01:20):
because I wasn't, like I said, Iwasn't always married.
I was once a young singleindividual like yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And God blessed me to have a wife, Right?
So what do you think thatsingles go through like as
Christians?
Should we be dating?
Not me per se, but should youLike?
What do you go through as asingle christian woman?
and then, when you look in theoutside world, the dating world,
(01:51):
the secular world, even they doit in the church too, that you
see them dating, like what aresome of the things you feel you
go through?
Do you go on out there seekinga man or like?
I want you to explain it to mefrom a single perspective and
I'll tell you what, what, what Iwent through when I was single.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
As a single woman, definitely seeking God and his
guidance and finding a godly man, and sometimes it takes.
Sometimes you have to take aleap of faith, maybe just having
a conversation or a Bible studyand just stepping out of your
(02:31):
comfort zone.
A wise man once told me about ayear ago.
He said nowadays, in ourgeneration, men are shying away
from being rejected, um, shyingaway from being rejected.
So a lot like now, a lot morewomen have to uh, put you know,
step forward, um and take thatleap of faith and, you know,
(02:52):
start a conversation, becausemen are shying away from you
know, being rejected I thinkmost men are shy though and
that's you.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You think you think it's because they got tired of
like most men, being rejectedbecause they're like approach a
woman, a potential wife, andthen she just rejected she could
be single.
Now, right, she could be single.
She was like no, I got a manlike Right, and the dude like
walk away with his head downlike yeah, man, yeah.
So that's why you think men arenot like approaching women like
(03:21):
that.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I believe so.
That's, that's what I get a lotfrom um.
Statistically, there's a veryhigh percentage of men who are
shying away from um, you know,speaking to their sisters um
because, um, because of therejection, and there they're a
(03:44):
high percentage of women thatare taken um.
There's yeah well, well, theycan.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
The world considers them taken, but they're not
actually taken because you knowthe ratio is probably like one
to ten right so I I believe alot of women are sharing.
If they don't have godlyprinciples, right?
Oh yeah, I believe that they.
I believe that they don't havethe fear of God in them.
I believe a lot of, especiallyif they don't, if they don't
(04:13):
value themselves, right?
I believe a lot of women outthere are sharing men.
Yeah, because, because of theratio, you know, most men are
either dead or in jail orthey're same sex yeah, and
that's why women have to choose.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Uh, godly men, kingdom men, yeah, and men have
to choose kingdom women yeah, Iagree with that so when the
number one thing I don't.
I can't speak for anybody else Iwould say loneliness and I'm
just being transparent, um, andloneliness doesn't come all the
time, because we have the Lord,we have things we're doing for
the Lord and what comes withthat is also doing things for
(04:52):
ourselves, because it pleasesthe Lord for us to love
ourselves and love our neighborsas ourselves.
So just having balance, liketime management, yeah, of having
time for it all.
But sometimes that wave comesand it's like well, lord, you
know.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
No, I agree.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Is it my time you know?
No, I agree.
Is it my time, you know?
Are you pushing me towards thistime in my life that I need to
step out of on my comfort zoneand mingle a little bit more?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
yeah, like kristen mingle.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Well, yeah, mingle meaning like converse, because
then you you'd be so caught upin life.
You'd be so caught up in careeror finding, finding a career,
getting into your career,helping out your community, help
.
You know doing the Lord's work,and you just totally forget
about building, you know, thelife that God has created you
(05:49):
for in the first place.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, it was different for me, uh, when I was
single, I know.
First of all, I would say thisthis is just what we believe as
it relates to dating andcourting.
So you know, courting is likehaving relations with somebody
or wanting to get to know them.
So out there's just a bigbrother and his little sister
(06:11):
just having a conversation,right, um, and she's my blood
sister.
She's not, she's my bloodsister.
Our mother had eight children.
She had two girls and, yeah,and eight?
What?
Eight boys?
No, six boys and two girls.
Yeah, so it's just tworelatives just having a
conversation.
One is married yeah, and one issingle, but I wasn't always uh,
(06:34):
wasn't always married.
Like I said before, I would saythis the Bible, the Bible, is
clear.
The Bible doesn't mentionanything about dating in the
Bible.
Dating or courting, those arelike a Western, modern name that
(06:55):
we all came came with.
That's not something that Iwould say a biblical Right.
And one may argue and say, like, if you don't date anybody or
you don't have some kind ofcourt, courtship with somebody,
how, how do you know that thatperson is your spouse?
How, how do you know that thatperson is your spouse?
(07:16):
That's the challenge that Ibelieve that a lot of God
fearing men and women deal with.
So I think that's why sometimes, when you, when you hear
stories of women dating men ormen dating women in the church
and then it don't work out,that's they trying to figure out
(07:38):
each other.
That's why, me personally, Idon't believe in dating.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Me like if I were, if I was single?
If I was single, I don'tbelieve that I would date a
woman or court a woman.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Well, you didn't date a woman.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
No, I didn't, Even before marriage yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Even your wife now.
You didn't date.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
No, so yeah.
So let me say this Let me.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
So you wanted to hear my wisdom.
So, number one it's harder fora woman because women age and
then they think about knowhaving a family at a young age
ain't no woman wanna, ain'tnobody sarah, like abraham sarah
was like up there in age andhad her, her son yeah, she was
up there in age, like 90 and upthere in age.
(08:26):
So women ain't trying to have nokids at no late 30s or 40 years
old or even 50, janet jackson.
They try to be up there in age.
Most women want to get intotheir career.
Um, they want to find a whatthey deem to be a good man,
because I don't believe thatthere's a good man.
There's only one but good, andthat's only the Lord.
(08:49):
There's no good man because Ibelieve all men are fallible,
just as women.
So there's no good man.
So women have their preferencesand I believe that women,
they'll go to school, they'regetting a career and they'll say
you know, honey, I want to havesome kids, but it's very few
people getting married though.
That's the thing.
So, it's like, it's a setup.
(09:10):
So I'm going to tell you thesetup.
So this, like you know, yourbrother gotta put you up on game
.
This is the setup.
The setup becomes the devil,makes it appear to a man or a
woman as though they're missingout, when you're not dating like
everybody else is doing itright, and you'll have your,
your girlfriend, say girl, Ijust met this man, oh, he is, oh
(09:35):
, and she's she's boasting abouthim, right, she's boasting.
And just like dudes too, yeah,dudes do like man.
I met this dime piece, I metthis 10.
She's a 10 to 10 out of 10,right, and then dudes be talking
to their homeboys about thegirl and then, when things don't
work out, they find themselvestalking to another girl and it's
like that whole cycle.
(09:56):
But then when he found a dudeI'm telling you from a male
perspective when a dude findthat one, he'll have a one main
chick and he have I call, I saidchick.
The dude will have one maingirl, right, and you have others
on the side.
That's the secular mindset,right?
So when I was in the world, asyou know, I dated, you know a
(10:21):
lot of women and then I'vegotten to know these women, but
I dated them had one main chickand the others was like you know
a woman, you go to the museumwith a woman, go to the beach
with a woman, you go to themovies with a woman.
That would just hear you vent.
You know everybody, the dude'sgot a woman for everything.
That's why there's like thishuge movement of men that are
(10:45):
that are polygamous.
These men believe in havingmultiple women.
But I don't believe in that.
I believe that there's supposedto be one man to one woman.
That's it.
That's God's God's way of doingthings, right?
Yeah, so for me.
So I know I'm just going on arant, but I just kind of like
want to put you up on game.
So we're talking about.
So when I was unsaved Okay, butit's not the best.
(11:09):
The people that's unsaved isbecause I didn't know any better
.
But when I got in the church sothat's why we're going to talk
about the church, because wewould hope that the people in
the church would know better andI could share with you my
experience when I got in thechurch.
So, before I got into thechurch, like I said, I dated and
, like I said, it was like asetup.
(11:29):
It was the most perfect setup,the devil, like well, there was
no God anywhere.
There was no god in the picture.
The girl that I dated at thetime was like well, you're out
of school, why don't you moveout your parents house and move
in there with me?
Yeah, but in my mind I was.
I was thinking I'm like man,she and my wife, right, I don't
(11:50):
know, I don't know for what.
That was strange, becausethat's not normal, that's not
typical for a guy to even saythat.
Yeah, but I told the woman, Isaid like you're not my wife,
like I'm not gonna, I'm notgonna move in with you right
maybe it's just the thought ofjust me moving in with her
because I thought I was gonna belocked up, but, like I mean,
like Shaq was like she won'tallow me to go anywhere.
(12:11):
But the reality is that Ididn't.
I didn't move in with her,right, I didn't move in with her
, but of course she cheated onme.
That didn't work out.
She cheated on me, but what Imean is like a setup that if I
would have lived with her, um,chances are we would have been
fornicating.
I'm, I'm painting this setupright now.
(12:32):
Right, how, a lot of peoplegetting a lot of like these
traps.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah Go, was fornication.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, it's all lust.
So when, when you don't like,when you don't have a
relationship with Christ,especially I'm saying it from a
man when a man don't have arelationship with Christ, it's
lust, it's lust Right.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's like a man.
A man see a woman beauty, andhe desires her.
Once he get what he want peace,he going to the next one.
And then, once he get what hewant peace, I'm out.
And then the girl beemotionally attached, the woman
be emotionally attached and shebe like I thought you loved me.
I thought you loved me.
(13:09):
You're like come on, man, youknow, he ain't like that little
mama, he ain't like that.
That's exactly how it goes.
Yeah, he ain't like that.
You know how them dudes whenyou carnally and you don't have
a fear of god, you're like comeon, man like yeah there there's.
There's no one to hold that manaccountable.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, I believe.
Wait before I know you'retelling a story.
Yeah, I just wanted to say realquick that's why us, as women,
we should also value ourselves.
I agree and teach the youngerwoman that's younger than us in
like middle school, high school,college, to like also value
(13:50):
themselves and not like givethemselves to or be susceptible
to someone who is older thanthem yeah trying to take
advantage of them, um, becausethat person may be in a less
lustful mindset and the woman islike, oh well, I'll do it
because I want to please him,you know.
(14:11):
So it's like, um, to putthemselves in a in a position to
say, well, no, he's not myhusband and, um, I don't want to
disobey god.
I don't want to.
You know, uh, sin against mybody.
You know all of this soul ties.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, soul ties, but that's from a spiritual
perspective though.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
So the issue becomes like, like I said, when you're
carnally and you know a lot ofpeople are taking the word of
God out of their homes, so it'slike they're not number one.
A lot of people not valuingmarriage Like man, like that's
my, they're not even number one,a lot of people not valuing
marriage like man, like that'smy they be like, oh, that's my
girlfriend.
Like, no, nobody want to getmarried anymore.
Like that, right, the marriagenumbers are not skyrocketing
(14:56):
like that we could see thestatistics.
I don't even have to look at it, I could.
I could say like people didn'tget married like that.
There was a time that peopleused to get married like every
other month, like it was likeconstantly people getting
married.
I'm talking about early on,when I got in the church years,
years ago.
People was getting married likecrazy.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah, that was the thing, and even the generation
before us.
Like our parents orgrandparents, they were married
young, yeah, like 16, 17.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
So what happens when you take the Lord out of your
home.
You take the Lord out of thecommunity.
You take the Lord out of yourhome, you take the lord out of
the community, you take the lordout of everything that you big
and bad enough to do.
Yeah, well, what men do?
man, woman, they just utilizetheir own wisdom yeah they, they
don't know it's really they,they really doing the things of
the enemy, because the enemy, ohthe enemy, he loved when people
(15:44):
fornicate.
The devil loves when peoplefornicate, but god is loves when
people fornicate, but God islike saying no, that's supposed
to be like.
He'll tell the woman that's foryour husband.
He'll tell the husband that'sfor your wife.
No, no, because people don't,like you said so tired.
So when people they fornicate,they become one with that person
.
We call we call that thosespiritual disease and that's why
(16:08):
the woman is crying like yeah,why did he leave?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
yeah.
And then the man is like I'm onto the next one and it's like
yeah so that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
so it says so, let me .
Let me go back to my story.
So when, when, um, the womanwanted me to move in, where I
think it was going to be like atrap, first of all, if I would
have moved in with her, I wouldhave got her pregnant Keep in
mind, we're not married, right.
So, um, she went ahead and hadlike three other kids after that
Wow, like different dudes,obviously.
(16:39):
But, um, if I would have movedin with her, um, chances are I
would have been a baby daddy,right.
So your brother sitting heretoday would have said, yeah,
yeah, that's, that was my babymama, you know what I mean?
Like you got nieces and nephewsfrom my baby mama, right?
And that's that's when a guydoes not have, um, the fear of
(17:02):
god, or he don't abide by thestandards of god, right?
So that's why I say it was kindof like a setup, like if I
would have like say, you knowwhat, let me just move in with
her and call ourselves family,like.
That's why I don't understandwomen.
Women should feel valued, likeyou said.
A woman should feel they shouldlook at themselves and knowing
that they are fitfully andwonderfully made and feel
(17:24):
valuable or or otherwise.
They would settle the dude andthen they'll.
They'll be waiting for the dudeto put a ring on it, but the
dude wouldn't put a ring on itbut you know, it starts in a
home.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, some women were not raised with their fathers
when their fathers were not umpresent in the home yeah, so
they kind of lack thatrelationship of knowing how a
man should treat a woman.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, no, that's facts.
That is facts.
But this is why God's way work,because this is the thing.
Even though, like individualslike myself and even you, you
know we was raised without thatfather figure.
Once we start to understandGod's standards'll be like man.
Let me put myself in alignment,because god word works like god
(18:12):
wants and we're going to talkabout that like god's way of
relationship.
God's way of because we talkabout.
The bible does mention aboutdating court, but we talk about
relationship and marriage.
Right, so most men, if theymoving with a woman, they're not
going to marry her wow mendon't like to commit.
(18:33):
Men have a hard time coming togod.
What you think, go ahead.
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
it just lowers the percent that he will marry her
oh let me lowers the percent.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yes, yes, yes, it's not a hundred percent of the men
, but it's, I'm sure it's a highpercentage.
And I'm telling you how yourbrother thought.
And you got other brothers too.
You got five other brothers,including me, and let's not talk
about our brothers, but we'regoing to talk about just me.
So I'm just talking about likefor me, if I would have moved in
(19:04):
with this woman, I would marryher.
Wow, I would have moved in withthis woman, I would have.
I would marry her.
Because, number one, womendon't understand when they give
it up.
They give away somethingprecious.
When a man already get what healready wanted, then that's it.
Like he already tried youalready, he already got what he
wants.
So it's like he be going to hisfriends like I already got that
already.
Right, I'm good, yeah, I'm good, yeah, like that's.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
That's the carnal mind right, and then I already
got that already Right, I'm good.
Yeah, I'm good.
Yeah, like that's, that's thecarnal mind, right, but when a
woman doesn't he keep contendingyeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he
keeps coming, yeah, I think aman.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I think a man likes to a degree if a woman plays
hard to get.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
But then that individual won't be, they're not
willing to marry.
But they continuously go tothat individual that keeps
telling them I'm waiting formarriage I want to get married.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I respect let me tell you something the women.
There were women that I've metwhen I was in school, middle
school, high school, um, notcollege, college.
I didn't taught anybody, I wasjust busy preaching to them.
But uh, when I was um in school, there were women that told me
no, straight up, no, and I knowyou talked about like in in
(20:15):
modern time, dudes are afraid toapproach women because we're
living in two different timesnow, but back then that women
that valued themselves likethese were like good girls like
you.
Try to talk to them, they'llshoot you down.
Nope, wow, and to me I'm sayingme, I'm not saying every man to
me.
It made me even want to pursueher even more.
(20:36):
Wow, because in my mind I'mlike man like she, playing hard
to get like I know that I couldget her.
It's the easy girls that thatmess it up right for themselves
right when they give it up likethat, right, yeah, they just
meet dude hanging out and that'sthe carnal mind, right, they
give it and then the dudes don'twant to have nothing to do with
(20:57):
them because it made it so easy, right?
Because if you, if you give itup to the man like that, like I
mean, think about how much otherperson that she did with, and
this is why we believe thatGod's way work, mm-hmm.
So that's what I'm saying.
Like if, if I would have movingwith homegirl, chances I
wouldn't been married to her,chances are we would have been
(21:18):
fornicating and number.
And the other thing that I wantto add into that, that it would
have been very difficult for meto come to the Lord, not saying
that it would have beenpossible.
Welcome to the Call by God podcast.
I'm your truly brother, nick,and I'm here with my sister
Taleria, sister, sister Taleria.
You know I'm her big brotherand she's been getting on me.
Yeah, she's been saying I'vebeen pronouncing her name wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yes, you and your wife say Taler, taler.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I've been saying Taleria, taleria, bestie Curry.
Yes, and it's Taleria Betsy.
Our whole name is messed up.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And did you say, brother Nick?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I said I'm your truly brother.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Nick Sister Curry Sister.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Curry.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, so this is another take, so we're doing
another episode.
I guess I was led to do anepisode about dating and
relationships mainly becauseyou've been asking me a lot
about dating lately Not sayingthat you want to date, but I
guess you wanted my wisdom as itrelates to dating and I was
(00:58):
like you know what?
If she's asking these questions,I'm sure there are a lot of
people out there askingquestions about dating right,
because I was once single beforeand now as a married man, as a
married man.
So I guess you're going to haveto light me up with questions,
(01:20):
because I wasn't, like I said, Iwasn't always married.
I was once a young singleindividual like yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And God blessed me to have a wife, Right?
So what do you think thatsingles go through like as
Christians?
Should we be dating?
Not me per se, but should youLike?
What do you go through as asingle christian woman?
and then, when you look in theoutside world, the dating world,
(01:51):
the secular world, even they doit in the church too, that you
see them dating, like what aresome of the things you feel you
go through?
Do you go on out there seekinga man or like?
I want you to explain it to mefrom a single perspective and
I'll tell you what, what, what Iwent through when I was single.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
As a single woman, definitely seeking God and his
guidance and finding a godly man, and sometimes it takes.
Sometimes you have to take aleap of faith, maybe just having
a conversation or a Bible studyand just stepping out of your
(02:31):
comfort zone.
A wise man once told me about ayear ago.
He said nowadays, in ourgeneration, men are shying away
from being rejected, um, shyingaway from being rejected.
So a lot like now, a lot morewomen have to uh, put you know,
step forward, um and take thatleap of faith and, you know,
(02:52):
start a conversation, becausemen are shying away from you
know, being rejected I thinkmost men are shy though and
that's you.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You think you think it's because they got tired of
like most men, being rejectedbecause they're like approach a
woman, a potential wife, andthen she just rejected she could
be single.
Now, right, she could be single.
She was like no, I got a manlike Right, and the dude like
walk away with his head downlike yeah, man, yeah.
So that's why you think men arenot like approaching women like
(03:21):
that.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I believe so.
That's, that's what I get a lotfrom um.
Statistically, there's a veryhigh percentage of men who are
shying away from um, you know,speaking to their sisters um
because, um, because of therejection, and there they're a
(03:44):
high percentage of women thatare taken um.
There's yeah well, well, theycan.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
The world considers them taken, but they're not
actually taken because you knowthe ratio is probably like one
to ten right so I I believe alot of women are sharing.
If they don't have godlyprinciples, right?
Oh yeah, I believe that they.
I believe that they don't havethe fear of God in them.
I believe a lot of, especiallyif they don't, if they don't
(04:13):
value themselves, right?
I believe a lot of women outthere are sharing men.
Yeah, because, because of theratio, you know, most men are
either dead or in jail orthey're same sex yeah, and
that's why women have to choose.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Uh, godly men, kingdom men, yeah, and men have
to choose kingdom women yeah, Iagree with that so when the
number one thing I don't.
I can't speak for anybody else Iwould say loneliness and I'm
just being transparent, um, andloneliness doesn't come all the
time, because we have the Lord,we have things we're doing for
the Lord and what comes withthat is also doing things for
(04:52):
ourselves, because it pleasesthe Lord for us to love
ourselves and love our neighborsas ourselves.
So just having balance, liketime management, yeah, of having
time for it all.
But sometimes that wave comesand it's like well, lord, you
know.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
No, I agree.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Is it my time you know?
No, I agree.
Is it my time, you know?
Are you pushing me towards thistime in my life that I need to
step out of on my comfort zoneand mingle a little bit more?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
yeah, like kristen mingle.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Well, yeah, mingle meaning like converse, because
then you you'd be so caught upin life.
You'd be so caught up in careeror finding, finding a career,
getting into your career,helping out your community, help
.
You know doing the Lord's work,and you just totally forget
about building, you know, thelife that God has created you
(05:49):
for in the first place.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, it was different for me, uh, when I was
single, I know.
First of all, I would say thisthis is just what we believe as
it relates to dating andcourting.
So you know, courting is likehaving relations with somebody
or wanting to get to know them.
So out there's just a bigbrother and his little sister
(06:11):
just having a conversation,right, um, and she's my blood
sister.
She's not, she's my bloodsister.
Our mother had eight children.
She had two girls and, yeah,and eight?
What?
Eight boys?
No, six boys and two girls.
Yeah, so it's just tworelatives just having a
conversation.
One is married yeah, and one issingle, but I wasn't always uh,
(06:34):
wasn't always married.
Like I said before, I would saythis the Bible, the Bible, is
clear.
The Bible doesn't mentionanything about dating in the
Bible.
Dating or courting, those arelike a Western, modern name that
(06:55):
we all came came with.
That's not something that Iwould say a biblical Right.
And one may argue and say, like, if you don't date anybody or
you don't have some kind ofcourt, courtship with somebody,
how, how do you know that thatperson is your spouse?
How, how do you know that thatperson is your spouse?
(07:16):
That's the challenge that Ibelieve that a lot of God
fearing men and women deal with.
So I think that's why sometimes, when you, when you hear
stories of women dating men ormen dating women in the church
and then it don't work out,that's they trying to figure out
(07:38):
each other.
That's why, me personally, Idon't believe in dating.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Me like if I were, if I was single?
If I was single, I don'tbelieve that I would date a
woman or court a woman.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Well, you didn't date a woman.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
No, I didn't, Even before marriage yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Even your wife now.
You didn't date.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
No, so yeah.
So let me say this Let me.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
So you wanted to hear my wisdom.
So, number one it's harder fora woman because women age and
then they think about knowhaving a family at a young age
ain't no woman wanna, ain'tnobody sarah, like abraham sarah
was like up there in age andhad her, her son yeah, she was
up there in age, like 90 and upthere in age.
(08:26):
So women ain't trying to have nokids at no late 30s or 40 years
old or even 50, janet jackson.
They try to be up there in age.
Most women want to get intotheir career.
Um, they want to find a whatthey deem to be a good man,
because I don't believe thatthere's a good man.
There's only one but good, andthat's only the Lord.
(08:49):
There's no good man because Ibelieve all men are fallible,
just as women.
So there's no good man.
So women have their preferencesand I believe that women,
they'll go to school, they'regetting a career and they'll say
you know, honey, I want to havesome kids, but it's very few
people getting married though.
That's the thing.
So, it's like, it's a setup.
(09:10):
So I'm going to tell you thesetup.
So this, like you know, yourbrother gotta put you up on game
.
This is the setup.
The setup becomes the devil,makes it appear to a man or a
woman as though they're missingout, when you're not dating like
everybody else is doing itright, and you'll have your,
your girlfriend, say girl, Ijust met this man, oh, he is, oh
(09:35):
, and she's she's boasting abouthim, right, she's boasting.
And just like dudes too, yeah,dudes do like man.
I met this dime piece, I metthis 10.
She's a 10 to 10 out of 10,right, and then dudes be talking
to their homeboys about thegirl and then, when things don't
work out, they find themselvestalking to another girl and it's
like that whole cycle.
(09:56):
But then when he found a dudeI'm telling you from a male
perspective when a dude findthat one, he'll have a one main
chick and he have I call, I saidchick.
The dude will have one maingirl, right, and you have others
on the side.
That's the secular mindset,right?
So when I was in the world, asyou know, I dated, you know a
(10:21):
lot of women and then I'vegotten to know these women, but
I dated them had one main chickand the others was like you know
a woman, you go to the museumwith a woman, go to the beach
with a woman, you go to themovies with a woman.
That would just hear you vent.
You know everybody, the dude'sgot a woman for everything.
That's why there's like thishuge movement of men that are
(10:45):
that are polygamous.
These men believe in havingmultiple women.
But I don't believe in that.
I believe that there's supposedto be one man to one woman.
That's it.
That's God's God's way of doingthings, right?
Yeah, so for me.
So I know I'm just going on arant, but I just kind of like
want to put you up on game.
So we're talking about.
So when I was unsaved Okay, butit's not the best.
(11:09):
The people that's unsaved isbecause I didn't know any better
.
But when I got in the church sothat's why we're going to talk
about the church, because wewould hope that the people in
the church would know better andI could share with you my
experience when I got in thechurch.
So, before I got into thechurch, like I said, I dated and
, like I said, it was like asetup.
(11:29):
It was the most perfect setup,the devil, like well, there was
no God anywhere.
There was no god in the picture.
The girl that I dated at thetime was like well, you're out
of school, why don't you moveout your parents house and move
in there with me?
Yeah, but in my mind I was.
I was thinking I'm like man,she and my wife, right, I don't
(11:50):
know, I don't know for what.
That was strange, becausethat's not normal, that's not
typical for a guy to even saythat.
Yeah, but I told the woman, Isaid like you're not my wife,
like I'm not gonna, I'm notgonna move in with you right
maybe it's just the thought ofjust me moving in with her
because I thought I was gonna belocked up, but, like I mean,
like Shaq was like she won'tallow me to go anywhere.
(12:11):
But the reality is that Ididn't.
I didn't move in with her,right, I didn't move in with her
, but of course she cheated onme.
That didn't work out.
She cheated on me, but what Imean is like a setup that if I
would have lived with her, um,chances are we would have been
fornicating.
I'm, I'm painting this setupright now.
(12:32):
Right, how, a lot of peoplegetting a lot of like these
traps.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah Go, was fornication.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, it's all lust.
So when, when you don't like,when you don't have a
relationship with Christ,especially I'm saying it from a
man when a man don't have arelationship with Christ, it's
lust, it's lust Right.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's like a man.
A man see a woman beauty, andhe desires her.
Once he get what he want peace,he going to the next one.
And then, once he get what hewant peace, I'm out.
And then the girl beemotionally attached, the woman
be emotionally attached and shebe like I thought you loved me.
I thought you loved me.
(13:09):
You're like come on, man, youknow, he ain't like that little
mama, he ain't like that.
That's exactly how it goes.
Yeah, he ain't like that.
You know how them dudes whenyou carnally and you don't have
a fear of god, you're like comeon, man like yeah there there's.
There's no one to hold that manaccountable.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, I believe.
Wait before I know you'retelling a story.
Yeah, I just wanted to say realquick that's why us, as women,
we should also value ourselves.
I agree and teach the youngerwoman that's younger than us in
like middle school, high school,college, to like also value
(13:50):
themselves and not like givethemselves to or be susceptible
to someone who is older thanthem yeah trying to take
advantage of them, um, becausethat person may be in a less
lustful mindset and the woman islike, oh well, I'll do it
because I want to please him,you know.
(14:11):
So it's like, um, to putthemselves in a in a position to
say, well, no, he's not myhusband and, um, I don't want to
disobey god.
I don't want to.
You know, uh, sin against mybody.
You know all of this soul ties.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, soul ties, but that's from a spiritual
perspective though.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
So the issue becomes like, like I said, when you're
carnally and you know a lot ofpeople are taking the word of
God out of their homes, so it'slike they're not number one.
A lot of people not valuingmarriage Like man, like that's
my, they're not even number one,a lot of people not valuing
marriage like man, like that'smy they be like, oh, that's my
girlfriend.
Like, no, nobody want to getmarried anymore.
Like that, right, the marriagenumbers are not skyrocketing
(14:56):
like that we could see thestatistics.
I don't even have to look at it, I could.
I could say like people didn'tget married like that.
There was a time that peopleused to get married like every
other month, like it was likeconstantly people getting
married.
I'm talking about early on,when I got in the church years,
years ago.
People was getting married likecrazy.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah, that was the thing, and even the generation
before us.
Like our parents orgrandparents, they were married
young, yeah, like 16, 17.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
So what happens when you take the Lord out of your
home.
You take the Lord out of thecommunity.
You take the Lord out of yourhome, you take the lord out of
the community, you take the lordout of everything that you big
and bad enough to do.
Yeah, well, what men do?
man, woman, they just utilizetheir own wisdom yeah they, they
don't know it's really they,they really doing the things of
the enemy, because the enemy, ohthe enemy, he loved when people
(15:44):
fornicate.
The devil loves when peoplefornicate, but god is loves when
people fornicate, but God islike saying no, that's supposed
to be like.
He'll tell the woman that's foryour husband.
He'll tell the husband that'sfor your wife.
No, no, because people don't,like you said so tired.
So when people they fornicate,they become one with that person
.
We call we call that thosespiritual disease and that's why
(16:08):
the woman is crying like yeah,why did he leave?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
yeah.
And then the man is like I'm onto the next one and it's like
yeah so that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
so it says so, let me .
Let me go back to my story.
So when, when, um, the womanwanted me to move in, where I
think it was going to be like atrap, first of all, if I would
have moved in with her, I wouldhave got her pregnant Keep in
mind, we're not married, right.
So, um, she went ahead and hadlike three other kids after that
Wow, like different dudes,obviously.
(16:39):
But, um, if I would have movedin with her, um, chances are I
would have been a baby daddy,right.
So your brother sitting heretoday would have said, yeah,
yeah, that's, that was my babymama, you know what I mean?
Like you got nieces and nephewsfrom my baby mama, right?
And that's that's when a guydoes not have, um, the fear of
(17:02):
god, or he don't abide by thestandards of god, right?
So that's why I say it was kindof like a setup, like if I
would have like say, you knowwhat, let me just move in with
her and call ourselves family,like.
That's why I don't understandwomen.
Women should feel valued, likeyou said.
A woman should feel they shouldlook at themselves and knowing
that they are fitfully andwonderfully made and feel
(17:24):
valuable or or otherwise.
They would settle the dude andthen they'll.
They'll be waiting for the dudeto put a ring on it, but the
dude wouldn't put a ring on itbut you know, it starts in a
home.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, some women were not raised with their fathers
when their fathers were not umpresent in the home yeah, so
they kind of lack thatrelationship of knowing how a
man should treat a woman.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, no, that's facts.
That is facts.
But this is why God's way work,because this is the thing.
Even though, like individualslike myself and even you, you
know we was raised without thatfather figure.
Once we start to understandGod's standards'll be like man.
Let me put myself in alignment,because god word works like god
(18:12):
wants and we're going to talkabout that like god's way of
relationship.
God's way of because we talkabout.
The bible does mention aboutdating court, but we talk about
relationship and marriage.
Right, so most men, if theymoving with a woman, they're not
going to marry her wow mendon't like to commit.
(18:33):
Men have a hard time coming togod.
What you think, go ahead.
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
it just lowers the percent that he will marry her
oh let me lowers the percent.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yes, yes, yes, it's not a hundred percent of the men
, but it's, I'm sure it's a highpercentage.
And I'm telling you how yourbrother thought.
And you got other brothers too.
You got five other brothers,including me, and let's not talk
about our brothers, but we'regoing to talk about just me.
So I'm just talking about likefor me, if I would have moved in
(19:04):
with this woman, I would marryher.
Wow, I would have moved in withthis woman, I would have.
I would marry her.
Because, number one, womendon't understand when they give
it up.
They give away somethingprecious.
When a man already get what healready wanted, then that's it.
Like he already tried youalready, he already got what he
wants.
So it's like he be going to hisfriends like I already got that
already.
Right, I'm good, yeah, I'm good, yeah, like that's.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
That's the carnal mind right, and then I already
got that already Right, I'm good.
Yeah, I'm good.
Yeah, like that's, that's thecarnal mind, right, but when a
woman doesn't he keep contendingyeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he
keeps coming, yeah, I think aman.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I think a man likes to a degree if a woman plays
hard to get.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
But then that individual won't be, they're not
willing to marry.
But they continuously go tothat individual that keeps
telling them I'm waiting formarriage I want to get married.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I respect let me tell you something the women.
There were women that I've metwhen I was in school, middle
school, high school, um, notcollege, college.
I didn't taught anybody, I wasjust busy preaching to them.
But uh, when I was um in school, there were women that told me
no, straight up, no, and I knowyou talked about like in in
(20:15):
modern time, dudes are afraid toapproach women because we're
living in two different timesnow, but back then that women
that valued themselves likethese were like good girls like
you.
Try to talk to them, they'llshoot you down.
Nope, wow, and to me I'm sayingme, I'm not saying every man to
me.
It made me even want to pursueher even more.
(20:36):
Wow, because in my mind I'mlike man like she, playing hard
to get like I know that I couldget her.
It's the easy girls that thatmess it up right for themselves
right when they give it up likethat, right, yeah, they just
meet dude hanging out and that'sthe carnal mind, right, they
give it and then the dudes don'twant to have nothing to do with
(20:57):
them because it made it so easy, right?
Because if you, if you give itup to the man like that, like I
mean, think about how much otherperson that she did with, and
this is why we believe thatGod's way work, mm-hmm.
So that's what I'm saying.
Like if, if I would have movingwith homegirl, chances I
wouldn't been married to her,chances are we would have been
(21:18):
fornicating and number.
And the other thing that I wantto add into that, that it would
have been very difficult for meto come to the Lord, not saying
that it would have beenpossible.
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