May 19, 2025 • 20 mins
Three women share their deeply personal journeys through motherhood, discussing the influence of their own mothers, unexpected pregnancies, and how faith shaped their experiences.
• Faith foundations from mothers provide blueprints for parenting approaches
• Philomena's example of "unmovable, unshakable, undoubting faith to God" continues to inspire
• Raw honesty about initial pregnancy reactions at different life stages
• Processing pregnancy news at age 14 versus being married
• Unexpected conception despite medical challenges
• Varying pregnancy experiences with different levels of community support
• God's redemptive grace allowing healthy children despite previous abortions
• Church community providing unexpected support for high-risk pregnancy
• The profound spiritual transitions that occur at childbirth
• Raising children "in the admonition of the Lord" after becoming a Christian
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I've learned so much in that regard as far as a
forged faith.
But then there are componentsthat I don't repeat, and I think
sometimes it's even where Idon't want to repeat it, but
then I find myself because it'salmost kind of innate.
So but I am thankful, and I'mgrateful for the faith component
(00:22):
, because if there is nothingelse that she can give me or
that she's been that example of,is faith unmovable, unshakable,
undoubting faith to God.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So for me, if I could have imitated anyone, looking
back in time, it would have beenmy mother, philomena.
We lost.
We lost her when I was seven,but just those seven years that
I had my siblings and I had.
It was a very loving,compassionate and caring person.
(00:58):
She never met a stranger.
She would give you the shirtoff her back.
She was very innovative.
Sometimes I sit back and I say,god, why didn't I get her
innovation For real?
This lady knew how to make adollar out of 15 cents.
Are you serious?
But just seeing her heart forpeople, it does something for me
(01:25):
, especially becoming aChristian, it heightens it
because it's like you never wantto see people suffer, and
that's who my mother was.
She never wanted to see anyonesuffer.
If she could do it, she woulddo it.
If she couldn't, she'll figureout a way on how to help you.
So if I could imitate her as amother I could imitate anyone it
(01:49):
would be my mother, philomena,and even how she.
The neighborhood kids.
They love coming to our house.
She took care of them, she hadfun with them.
She everything, she was thatmom she was.
She was literally theneighborhood mom, because she
was also the candy lady.
So so, um, yeah, she was thecandy lady.
(02:12):
So they love coming to ourhouse.
Y'all got some candy.
Yeah, you got to buy it, though, but anyone that I could even I
could tell anybody it would bePhilomena.
The second question I have forus is what was your first
thought when you found out youwere pregnant?
(02:34):
I'm going to go first becauseI'm going to make this easy.
My first thought when I foundout I was pregnant at the age of
14 was oh no, it got to go.
That was my first thought.
Why?
My daughter's dad was 10 yearsolder than me.
I was 14.
I know nothing about beingnobody's mama.
(02:55):
Who in the world I don't lovethis man?
I don't even know what love is.
I'm still a kid.
I'm in middle school.
There's no way this ishappening.
That was my first thought.
And then I was like okay, whatare we going to do to take care
of it?
How are we going to take careof it?
Because it needs to go.
And then God said no, ma'am, Ihave other plans for her.
(03:17):
I didn't know I was having her,but God had other plans.
And then God's plan she's here,she's 31.
And she's thriving in Dallas,texas.
Next sister go ahead.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Right, all right, I'll take that one.
Ooh, okay.
After that prayer of after theabortion, being 17 and you know
your senior year, the summerbefore the senior year, I asked
God because I went through adepression.
Like Lord, if I get theopportunity, I would definitely
never, ever, would do that again.
(03:52):
That's number one.
But when he blessed us with achild after our marriage, I
cried, went to my mom's bedsideand I cried and I told her.
I said, mom, I got something totell you and I don't know how
(04:12):
you're going to take this.
I'm pregnant.
And she was like Tal, you'remarried, you're married.
Wow.
Because I was looking for thedisappointment.
I was looking at trying tomaking sure I was good with her.
(04:34):
Did I disappoint her?
The expectation, and she didn'thave any on me and that was the
whole thing.
And I didn't realize it.
Because when we found out wewere pregnant, it was great, it
was good to know because we'vebeen married.
But my first thought was nobodybut my mama.
It wasn't my husband, it wasn'tmy husband, it wasn't even
(04:56):
about me, it was about my mother, because I didn't want her to
see me in any other life, buther baby.
And she said baby, I'm going tobe right here because that's my
first grandchild and to thisday, about that grandson,
(05:18):
because she only has two.
He is 30, and the othergrandson is 20, so it's a
10-year difference.
She will not even move to thestate of Texas and still as long
as that grandson is still therein Kansas or Missouri, she's
not moving.
Until then, and I said, blessher heart and I love her for it,
it because that's her ride ordie.
And when I say ride or die, ifshe calls him or he calls her,
(05:40):
they are right there at eachother's doorstep and I just love
that relationship.
So that's how it comes backfull circle for me, and so
that's why it was so important.
So I'm grateful to look at herexpectation, even though she
didn't have any.
I was grateful because I'mlooking at the relationship now
(06:01):
that they build together Aftermy dad's gone, my brother passed
away and my mom still has herother son.
I can't sleep through me.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That was beautiful sis, for me and I was married
when I found out that I waspregnant with my son.
But I was shocked, not ofcourse because of the conception
, but because I have a medicalcondition and then my ex also
(06:39):
had something going on, and so Ididn't think that we were going
to be able to conceive rightaway.
And so for me it was like, heyGod, because what he is, so
bigger than our thoughts and andour, you know, finite mindsets,
and so it was a shock for mebecause I thought it was going
(07:03):
to be tedious.
I thought that, you know, wewere going to have to go through
things, you know, as far asfertility.
So for me it was a little shock, but then it was.
It was happiness because, ofcourse, as a wife and as a
mother, as a woman, because I'vemothered so many children, but
(07:24):
just to know that God blessed mywomb and I didn't have to
encounter what I thought wasgoing to be my plight, thought
was going to be my plight.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I was going to ask this question but, kimmy, you
answered it earlier and that waswhat was your pregnancy like?
So we already know what yourpregnancy was like with baby
Daryl.
But, keisha, what was yourpregnancy like?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
My pregnancy actually , um, it was a gracious
pregnancy and when I say thatbecause I had so many people
cater to me that out of thewoodworks, when they see you
know, when they say about thatglow, you have people change
that.
Look when you have that glowand it's like doors open for you
(08:12):
people.
Being generous, you know beingnourishing, it's like doors open
for you People.
Being generous, you know beingnourishing is being loving my
brother in law at the time.
I mean, he normally don't cook,he cooked.
I was like, wait a minute, lord,just all these benefits, that's
what I was looking at, all thebenefits, and I didn't gain any
weight until like the last twomonths of my pregnancy.
(08:33):
Wait, until like the last twomonths of my pregnancy.
So it was beautiful and I'mjust grateful to God that he did
open up and kept my open to beable to.
After what I did to it, I'mgoing to say that it is home for
me.
After what I did to myself,after I allowed doctors to
(08:57):
mutilate me, he was still ableto heal and to be able to have a
beautiful and healthy pregnancy.
I'll go where the God is.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So I had two pregnancies.
Pregnancy number one I lookedlike a baby doll y'all.
I was cute.
Okay, look, I was cute.
I even had dudes talking aboutthe I'll be your baby daddy.
I had people giving me money,feeding me, all this stuff,
(09:33):
right.
And then a couple of let me see, I got pregnant with my.
I was what?
27?
I was 27 when I got pregnantwith my son.
I looked like a bun ball,turkey.
I gained so much weight, butthat was my easiest pregnancy.
Even though I gained the weight, I had no morning sickness.
(09:54):
With my first pregnancy, withAmanda, I was sick.
With my son, I wasn't.
With Amanda I didn't gain muchweight.
With Devon I did.
I love seafood.
Amanda didn't care.
Devon hated the smell ofseafood.
I was like what in the world?
(10:15):
So the premises were like whenpeople say it's different, it is
different.
Like so different.
He was very particular aboutwhat I ate.
If she didn't like it, no,ma'am, he didn't care.
All he wanted, once I was doneeating, was I need to have a
(10:35):
bottle of chocolate milkpartially frozen that was still
icicle in it.
That was to wash the food down.
That's exactly what it was likewith my pregnancies.
I wouldn't change them for theworld.
I said all of that just to sayI wouldn't change them for the
world.
I said all of that just to sayI wouldn't change them for the
(10:57):
world the beauty of filling lifein your womb and like Keisha, I
had two abortions and aself-induced miscarriage and God
still blessed my womb to givebirth to one more child, and I
wouldn't change it for the worldTo be able to give life to a
(11:21):
six foot two young man, afterall of that, who's intelligent,
who has wisdom that supersedeshis own understanding, who loves
God, wouldn't change that forthe world.
My daughter, as much as I, was14 and scared and didn't want
(11:44):
her, and we sometimes right now,because she thinks she grown
and she my mama and she couldtalk to me any kind of way
wouldn't change that for theworld, because I see her, see
the beauty, I see the gifts, Isee the talents that God has put
in both of my children.
But when I think about them, I'mthankful and grateful that God
(12:11):
blessed me with these twoamazing kids, even through the
fact, because he could haveeasily said no, since I blessed
you and you decided you ain'twant them, I ain't giving you no
more, but that wasn't.
That wasn't the case.
I'm grateful for that.
Did you have a lot or minimalsupport during your pregnancy
(12:35):
journey?
Well, keisha, you said you hada lot of support.
You had a lot of support.
What about you, kim?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Keisha was spoiled, but rightfully so.
For me, no, unfortunately Ididn't get the pampering and all
of that.
Now, I will say, when mypregnancy turned high risk, like
I said, god just just broughteverybody through.
Honestly, I had never beenhospitalized, never stayed in
(13:09):
the hospital, and so when theyfirst detected my cervix was
beginning to dilate prematurely,they kept me for two days and I
boo-hoo cried.
I cried my heart and soul outbecause I was so scared and
didn't know what to expect.
But God had placed one of thesisters from the church and she
(13:30):
was there and it's like therewas a calm coming over me and
she saw me and she came in theroom and she just spoke to me
and reassured me and the factthat God placed her there at the
point that they were admittingme just brought so much comfort.
And so from like that point,god just made sure that
everybody that I needed wasthere, be it my family, even the
(13:55):
church family, like they didn'teven really know me like that,
to be honest, because Iliterally had gotten married in
November and found out I wasexpecting Daryl by February.
So I think that's like twomonths.
But when God does a thing, Ioften say that when God does a
thing because even if it didn'tfunnel down through the channel
(14:16):
that I expected it God ensuredthat when I needed it the most,
that support came through thechurch.
I didn't have to want fornothing.
They cooked and they took turnsand they brought meals to the
house.
As soon as Preacher found outthat I was in the hospital, he
come walking through the door,he beat everybody to the
(14:37):
hospital and I thank God forthat.
I thank God for that becauseI've never experienced and
neither did I expect anythinglike that, because, like I said,
they didn't know me like that,but they knew God like that.
And I thank God for Christianswho have that relationship with
God and don't need thefamiliarity but will still be
(14:58):
God in the presence of God inthe lives and in situations of
those who need it.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
So for me, with Amanda, I was very spoiled, like
spoiled spoiled Because mysister.
I was very spoiled, likespoiled, spoiled Because my
sister.
I would wake her up three inthe morning, talk about
something I'm craving, andshe'll get up and go and cook it
, and that was that, like shespoiled my daughter, amanda's
godmother same thing.
(15:28):
All I would just say, oh, Ifeel like having this and next
thing, you know, they in thekitchen and doing this and I got
it.
That's all I got to say is thatI want this Right.
So I was grateful and thankful.
She was very loved.
She was truly loved when I waspregnant with her.
She still is loved.
Devon, my cousin my cousinbecause when she found out I was
(15:54):
having a boy, she was like whatyou want, what you feel like
eating, she always cookedwhatever I wanted.
His dad wasn't as attentive andmy son, both of my children,
are out of wedlock.
I would never recommend and Iwill say this with every ounce
of fiber of my being, I wouldnever recommend a young woman
(16:19):
get pregnant outside of wedlock,and even sometimes, yes, you
get married and there's divorce,but it's always best to be
married to have your child,because the person sometimes,
depending on the man that's allI could say will be more
attentive to you than himself.
My son's father wasn't asattentive.
(16:42):
As a matter of fact, he triedto have the conversation with me
, talk about something.
Oh, you know we can't affordthis.
And I was like well, we don'tneed you.
I did it by myself with thefirst one, I can do it by myself
with the second one, I'm good.
But I just had to say that mysister and I, we were estranged
from each other.
But when I had him, that was adifferent story.
(17:06):
And that's the next question.
And that's the next questionwhat was it?
Once you gave birth?
What went on in your mind?
I'm going to go first.
Once I gave birth to Amanda, Iwas in the room with the nurses.
No one was there for me, notAmanda's dad.
(17:29):
There was no one.
My brother actually came aftershe was already out.
I went into.
I was in labor.
That night I didn't evenrealize that.
I thought I was having gaspains because it didn't hurt.
And then I woke up in themorning, thought something and I
(17:51):
was like oh, I think I'm inlabor, told my roommate hey, I
think I need to go to thehospital.
I'm in labor.
She was like what?
They took me to a midwife andshe was like no, y'all need to
take us to the hospital, thebaby's coming.
Got there at 11.59, and she wasout by like 12 something.
(18:12):
She was like I'm making mypresence known today and my
brother came in and he was likewow, you couldn't wait for
nobody, it wasn't me, it was her.
She wanted out.
So she's here, her, she wantedout.
(18:38):
Well, she's here With Devon.
When I had him, it was a wholedifferent experience because I
was a Christian and all Iremember saying God, this is
your child, I give him to you.
His dad was in the room, ofcourse, course, with him,
because he experienced that andI didn't hear him cry.
His dad was like, oh, he's justlooking around trying to figure
out what's going on.
Like he, he was very, alwaysvery inquisitive and attentive
(19:02):
in that way.
And when they laid him on mychest and it was like wow, I did
this again and I just knew Ihad to be a better mom to him
than I was to Amanda, becausenow I'm a child of God.
Now I have to raise him in theadmonition of the Lord.
I have to teach him about theLord, do that same with his
(19:25):
sister, because we both weremembers of the body, but with
him just rearing him up in theLord.
So that was what went throughmy mind.
I've learned so much in that regard as far as a
forged faith.
But then there are componentsthat I don't repeat, and I think
sometimes it's even where Idon't want to repeat it, but
then I find myself because it'salmost kind of innate.
So but I am thankful, and I'mgrateful for the faith component
(00:22):
, because if there is nothingelse that she can give me or
that she's been that example of,is faith unmovable, unshakable,
undoubting faith to God.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So for me, if I could have imitated anyone, looking
back in time, it would have beenmy mother, philomena.
We lost.
We lost her when I was seven,but just those seven years that
I had my siblings and I had.
It was a very loving,compassionate and caring person.
(00:58):
She never met a stranger.
She would give you the shirtoff her back.
She was very innovative.
Sometimes I sit back and I say,god, why didn't I get her
innovation For real?
This lady knew how to make adollar out of 15 cents.
Are you serious?
But just seeing her heart forpeople, it does something for me
(01:25):
, especially becoming aChristian, it heightens it
because it's like you never wantto see people suffer, and
that's who my mother was.
She never wanted to see anyonesuffer.
If she could do it, she woulddo it.
If she couldn't, she'll figureout a way on how to help you.
So if I could imitate her as amother I could imitate anyone it
(01:49):
would be my mother, philomena,and even how she.
The neighborhood kids.
They love coming to our house.
She took care of them, she hadfun with them.
She everything, she was thatmom she was.
She was literally theneighborhood mom, because she
was also the candy lady.
So so, um, yeah, she was thecandy lady.
(02:12):
So they love coming to ourhouse.
Y'all got some candy.
Yeah, you got to buy it, though, but anyone that I could even I
could tell anybody it would bePhilomena.
The second question I have forus is what was your first
thought when you found out youwere pregnant?
(02:34):
I'm going to go first becauseI'm going to make this easy.
My first thought when I foundout I was pregnant at the age of
14 was oh no, it got to go.
That was my first thought.
Why?
My daughter's dad was 10 yearsolder than me.
I was 14.
I know nothing about beingnobody's mama.
(02:55):
Who in the world I don't lovethis man?
I don't even know what love is.
I'm still a kid.
I'm in middle school.
There's no way this ishappening.
That was my first thought.
And then I was like okay, whatare we going to do to take care
of it?
How are we going to take careof it?
Because it needs to go.
And then God said no, ma'am, Ihave other plans for her.
(03:17):
I didn't know I was having her,but God had other plans.
And then God's plan she's here,she's 31.
And she's thriving in Dallas,texas.
Next sister go ahead.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Right, all right, I'll take that one.
Ooh, okay.
After that prayer of after theabortion, being 17 and you know
your senior year, the summerbefore the senior year, I asked
God because I went through adepression.
Like Lord, if I get theopportunity, I would definitely
never, ever, would do that again.
(03:52):
That's number one.
But when he blessed us with achild after our marriage, I
cried, went to my mom's bedsideand I cried and I told her.
I said, mom, I got something totell you and I don't know how
(04:12):
you're going to take this.
I'm pregnant.
And she was like Tal, you'remarried, you're married.
Wow.
Because I was looking for thedisappointment.
I was looking at trying tomaking sure I was good with her.
(04:34):
Did I disappoint her?
The expectation, and she didn'thave any on me and that was the
whole thing.
And I didn't realize it.
Because when we found out wewere pregnant, it was great, it
was good to know because we'vebeen married.
But my first thought was nobodybut my mama.
It wasn't my husband, it wasn'tmy husband, it wasn't even
(04:56):
about me, it was about my mother, because I didn't want her to
see me in any other life, buther baby.
And she said baby, I'm going tobe right here because that's my
first grandchild and to thisday, about that grandson,
(05:18):
because she only has two.
He is 30, and the othergrandson is 20, so it's a
10-year difference.
She will not even move to thestate of Texas and still as long
as that grandson is still therein Kansas or Missouri, she's
not moving.
Until then, and I said, blessher heart and I love her for it,
it because that's her ride ordie.
And when I say ride or die, ifshe calls him or he calls her,
(05:40):
they are right there at eachother's doorstep and I just love
that relationship.
So that's how it comes backfull circle for me, and so
that's why it was so important.
So I'm grateful to look at herexpectation, even though she
didn't have any.
I was grateful because I'mlooking at the relationship now
(06:01):
that they build together Aftermy dad's gone, my brother passed
away and my mom still has herother son.
I can't sleep through me.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That was beautiful sis, for me and I was married
when I found out that I waspregnant with my son.
But I was shocked, not ofcourse because of the conception
, but because I have a medicalcondition and then my ex also
(06:39):
had something going on, and so Ididn't think that we were going
to be able to conceive rightaway.
And so for me it was like, heyGod, because what he is, so
bigger than our thoughts and andour, you know, finite mindsets,
and so it was a shock for mebecause I thought it was going
(07:03):
to be tedious.
I thought that, you know, wewere going to have to go through
things, you know, as far asfertility.
So for me it was a little shock, but then it was.
It was happiness because, ofcourse, as a wife and as a
mother, as a woman, because I'vemothered so many children, but
(07:24):
just to know that God blessed mywomb and I didn't have to
encounter what I thought wasgoing to be my plight, thought
was going to be my plight.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I was going to ask this question but, kimmy, you
answered it earlier and that waswhat was your pregnancy like?
So we already know what yourpregnancy was like with baby
Daryl.
But, keisha, what was yourpregnancy like?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
My pregnancy actually , um, it was a gracious
pregnancy and when I say thatbecause I had so many people
cater to me that out of thewoodworks, when they see you
know, when they say about thatglow, you have people change
that.
Look when you have that glowand it's like doors open for you
(08:12):
people.
Being generous, you know beingnourishing, it's like doors open
for you People.
Being generous, you know beingnourishing is being loving my
brother in law at the time.
I mean, he normally don't cook,he cooked.
I was like, wait a minute, lord,just all these benefits, that's
what I was looking at, all thebenefits, and I didn't gain any
weight until like the last twomonths of my pregnancy.
(08:33):
Wait, until like the last twomonths of my pregnancy.
So it was beautiful and I'mjust grateful to God that he did
open up and kept my open to beable to.
After what I did to it, I'mgoing to say that it is home for
me.
After what I did to myself,after I allowed doctors to
(08:57):
mutilate me, he was still ableto heal and to be able to have a
beautiful and healthy pregnancy.
I'll go where the God is.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So I had two pregnancies.
Pregnancy number one I lookedlike a baby doll y'all.
I was cute.
Okay, look, I was cute.
I even had dudes talking aboutthe I'll be your baby daddy.
I had people giving me money,feeding me, all this stuff,
(09:33):
right.
And then a couple of let me see, I got pregnant with my.
I was what?
27?
I was 27 when I got pregnantwith my son.
I looked like a bun ball,turkey.
I gained so much weight, butthat was my easiest pregnancy.
Even though I gained the weight, I had no morning sickness.
(09:54):
With my first pregnancy, withAmanda, I was sick.
With my son, I wasn't.
With Amanda I didn't gain muchweight.
With Devon I did.
I love seafood.
Amanda didn't care.
Devon hated the smell ofseafood.
I was like what in the world?
(10:15):
So the premises were like whenpeople say it's different, it is
different.
Like so different.
He was very particular aboutwhat I ate.
If she didn't like it, no,ma'am, he didn't care.
All he wanted, once I was doneeating, was I need to have a
(10:35):
bottle of chocolate milkpartially frozen that was still
icicle in it.
That was to wash the food down.
That's exactly what it was likewith my pregnancies.
I wouldn't change them for theworld.
I said all of that just to sayI wouldn't change them for the
world.
I said all of that just to sayI wouldn't change them for the
(10:57):
world the beauty of filling lifein your womb and like Keisha, I
had two abortions and aself-induced miscarriage and God
still blessed my womb to givebirth to one more child, and I
wouldn't change it for the worldTo be able to give life to a
(11:21):
six foot two young man, afterall of that, who's intelligent,
who has wisdom that supersedeshis own understanding, who loves
God, wouldn't change that forthe world.
My daughter, as much as I, was14 and scared and didn't want
(11:44):
her, and we sometimes right now,because she thinks she grown
and she my mama and she couldtalk to me any kind of way
wouldn't change that for theworld, because I see her, see
the beauty, I see the gifts, Isee the talents that God has put
in both of my children.
But when I think about them, I'mthankful and grateful that God
(12:11):
blessed me with these twoamazing kids, even through the
fact, because he could haveeasily said no, since I blessed
you and you decided you ain'twant them, I ain't giving you no
more, but that wasn't.
That wasn't the case.
I'm grateful for that.
Did you have a lot or minimalsupport during your pregnancy
(12:35):
journey?
Well, keisha, you said you hada lot of support.
You had a lot of support.
What about you, kim?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Keisha was spoiled, but rightfully so.
For me, no, unfortunately Ididn't get the pampering and all
of that.
Now, I will say, when mypregnancy turned high risk, like
I said, god just just broughteverybody through.
Honestly, I had never beenhospitalized, never stayed in
(13:09):
the hospital, and so when theyfirst detected my cervix was
beginning to dilate prematurely,they kept me for two days and I
boo-hoo cried.
I cried my heart and soul outbecause I was so scared and
didn't know what to expect.
But God had placed one of thesisters from the church and she
(13:30):
was there and it's like therewas a calm coming over me and
she saw me and she came in theroom and she just spoke to me
and reassured me and the factthat God placed her there at the
point that they were admittingme just brought so much comfort.
And so from like that point,god just made sure that
everybody that I needed wasthere, be it my family, even the
(13:55):
church family, like they didn'teven really know me like that,
to be honest, because Iliterally had gotten married in
November and found out I wasexpecting Daryl by February.
So I think that's like twomonths.
But when God does a thing, Ioften say that when God does a
thing because even if it didn'tfunnel down through the channel
(14:16):
that I expected it God ensuredthat when I needed it the most,
that support came through thechurch.
I didn't have to want fornothing.
They cooked and they took turnsand they brought meals to the
house.
As soon as Preacher found outthat I was in the hospital, he
come walking through the door,he beat everybody to the
(14:37):
hospital and I thank God forthat.
I thank God for that becauseI've never experienced and
neither did I expect anythinglike that, because, like I said,
they didn't know me like that,but they knew God like that.
And I thank God for Christianswho have that relationship with
God and don't need thefamiliarity but will still be
(14:58):
God in the presence of God inthe lives and in situations of
those who need it.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
So for me, with Amanda, I was very spoiled, like
spoiled spoiled Because mysister.
I was very spoiled, likespoiled, spoiled Because my
sister.
I would wake her up three inthe morning, talk about
something I'm craving, andshe'll get up and go and cook it
, and that was that, like shespoiled my daughter, amanda's
godmother same thing.
(15:28):
All I would just say, oh, Ifeel like having this and next
thing, you know, they in thekitchen and doing this and I got
it.
That's all I got to say is thatI want this Right.
So I was grateful and thankful.
She was very loved.
She was truly loved when I waspregnant with her.
She still is loved.
Devon, my cousin my cousinbecause when she found out I was
(15:54):
having a boy, she was like whatyou want, what you feel like
eating, she always cookedwhatever I wanted.
His dad wasn't as attentive andmy son, both of my children,
are out of wedlock.
I would never recommend and Iwill say this with every ounce
of fiber of my being, I wouldnever recommend a young woman
(16:19):
get pregnant outside of wedlock,and even sometimes, yes, you
get married and there's divorce,but it's always best to be
married to have your child,because the person sometimes,
depending on the man that's allI could say will be more
attentive to you than himself.
My son's father wasn't asattentive.
(16:42):
As a matter of fact, he triedto have the conversation with me
, talk about something.
Oh, you know we can't affordthis.
And I was like well, we don'tneed you.
I did it by myself with thefirst one, I can do it by myself
with the second one, I'm good.
But I just had to say that mysister and I, we were estranged
from each other.
But when I had him, that was adifferent story.
(17:06):
And that's the next question.
And that's the next questionwhat was it?
Once you gave birth?
What went on in your mind?
I'm going to go first.
Once I gave birth to Amanda, Iwas in the room with the nurses.
No one was there for me, notAmanda's dad.
(17:29):
There was no one.
My brother actually came aftershe was already out.
I went into.
I was in labor.
That night I didn't evenrealize that.
I thought I was having gaspains because it didn't hurt.
And then I woke up in themorning, thought something and I
(17:51):
was like oh, I think I'm inlabor, told my roommate hey, I
think I need to go to thehospital.
I'm in labor.
She was like what?
They took me to a midwife andshe was like no, y'all need to
take us to the hospital, thebaby's coming.
Got there at 11.59, and she wasout by like 12 something.
(18:12):
She was like I'm making mypresence known today and my
brother came in and he was likewow, you couldn't wait for
nobody, it wasn't me, it was her.
She wanted out.
So she's here, her, she wantedout.
(18:38):
Well, she's here With Devon.
When I had him, it was a wholedifferent experience because I
was a Christian and all Iremember saying God, this is
your child, I give him to you.
His dad was in the room, ofcourse, course, with him,
because he experienced that andI didn't hear him cry.
His dad was like, oh, he's justlooking around trying to figure
out what's going on.
Like he, he was very, alwaysvery inquisitive and attentive
(19:02):
in that way.
And when they laid him on mychest and it was like wow, I did
this again and I just knew Ihad to be a better mom to him
than I was to Amanda, becausenow I'm a child of God.
Now I have to raise him in theadmonition of the Lord.
I have to teach him about theLord, do that same with his
(19:25):
sister, because we both weremembers of the body, but with
him just rearing him up in theLord.
So that was what went throughmy mind.
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