May 26, 2025 • 21 mins
Three mothers share their transformative journeys through faith, high-risk pregnancy, family reconciliation, and breaking generational trauma cycles. Their raw, honest reflections reveal how motherhood became a catalyst for spiritual growth and healing while offering wisdom for parents navigating similar challenges.
• Becoming a mother after accepting Christ and wanting to raise children differently
• Experiencing divine intervention during a high-risk pregnancy and emergency C-section
• Confronting and breaking generational cycles of trauma and abuse
• Recognizing what they would have done differently—from teaching biblical principles earlier to seeking trauma therapy
• Understanding the importance of self-care and forgiveness as a mother
• Finding healing through vulnerability and showing children that parents aren't perfect
• Creating stable environments for children to thrive, especially during challenging times
Social Media/Follow Us:
Website:https://www.calledbygodpodcast.com/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/cbg.podcast/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CalledbyGodPod
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calledbygodpodcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just knew I had to be a better mom to him than I
was to Amanda, because now I'm achild of God.
Now I have to raise him in theadmonition of the Lord.
I have to teach him about theLord, Do that same with his
sister, because we both weremembers of the body, but with
him just rearing him up in theLord.
That was what went through mymind.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
For me, as I had shared earlier, I had a
high-risk pregnancy, but even,like I said, I had already
uttered for a greater glory, mypregnancy and the high risk
pregnancy, um to to mend myfather's and my relationship.
(00:50):
Um, it was crazy because thenight before um, daryl's father
and my dad, they kind ofexchanged words, but it wasn't
like, you know, somebody wasabout to throw blows, it wasn't
like that, but they exchangedwords, um, and, needless to say,
it was like, you know, somebodywas about to throw blows, it
wasn't like that, but theyexchanged words, um, and,
needless to say, it was like youknow what?
I'm not in move for none of it,because I'm the one, you know,
(01:11):
in the trenches with our childand you know, don't know what's
going to be what.
But anyway, um, that next day,we, honestly, my dad and myself,
and the nurse was in the roomand we just so happened to be
talking about God to the nurse,and um, god was little did I
know God was about to get hisglory, that for greater glory,
(01:33):
for greater glory, um, and soshe came to do some type of um,
ultrasound or something, and um,she had.
She said, hmm, um, ultrasoundor something.
And um, she had.
She said Hmm, and I didn't knowwhat was going on.
I knew that my wound cause mywater had already broke, mind
you, seven days ago.
And so, um, they weremonitoring him, monitoring me,
(01:59):
and I just kept having thatflush, that flushing going on.
And it was funny because on theboard they said my goal was to
stay pregnant.
I'm like, okay.
So that day she did theultrasound and she saw whatever
she saw.
She alerted the other medicalstaff and within a minute I
(02:22):
guess she's the charge nurse sheliterally came in with a piece
of paper and spoke almost likean auctioneer, all of their
disclosures, snatched off myhead rack and whisked me into
the OR room because they saidthat they had determined that he
was better on the outside thanhe was on the inside.
(02:44):
I believe that it was apossibility that his heart rate
was dropping or the oxygen, andso, like I said, you know, it
was really, of course, chargedup, but I remember, as they were
wheeling me out of that roominto the emergency room to our
emergency section, the nursesaid to me, she said good luck,
(03:06):
and I told her.
I said God got me, I said Godgot us, and I felt like God just
orchestrated that encounterwith that nurse, the mending and
reconciliation with my dad,daryl's birth, just centered
around so much.
And I feel that, even like youlike you said, adney, um and I'm
(03:26):
glad you said it because youwant to be in God's grace Um,
when you have children, um, godis sovereign.
He knows what we're going to dobefore we even do it.
The thought crosses our mind.
But I was actually a newlywedum with someone who said they
wanted children, didn't want towait, and I still experienced
(03:50):
less than desirable experiences.
But to see how God orchestratedDaryl's birth and to see how
things manifested, I'm just inawe.
They told me that once theytook him out, that he was so
small that I probably would nothear him cry.
And when they lifted him up,god allowed me to hear my baby
(04:13):
cry two times and I just knew.
I knew that God was in thatroom, god was in the situation,
he was in the birth and, likeyou said, from the time I found
out that I was pregnant withDaryl, I said Godfather, this is
your son, he is yours, and sothat was my experience of him
(04:34):
being born.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Adni, can you do me a favor and repeat your question?
I want to make sure I heard youcorrectly.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Once you gave birth, what went on in your mind?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Once I gave birth and thank you for clarifying the
question Once I gave birth, allI thought about was my brother,
to be honest with you.
That's why I wanted to makesure I heard you correctly,
because I thought about him, howmuch I really wanted my son to
(05:11):
have similar ways, don't get mewrong.
My brother's mischievous inschool and everything, but his
heart was the key.
And so when my brother didn'tmake it to the hospital, he was
so afraid to hold him because hewas like he's so little, he's
never seen a newborn.
He was like he's so little, I'mafraid to hold him, I'm gonna
(05:33):
drop him, I'm gonna drop him.
And we placed him like in hisforearm so he could actually
feel and touch it, cradle hishead and actually like this is
life.
And he was like I would neverthought that holding a life
would be so memorable.
And to embrace Throughout thattime.
(05:54):
After that, my brother and mysister.
Both they embraced him as ifthat was their own little
brother, because you know, giventhe fact that you know here,
I'm 20, but they were still I'vealready graduated high school.
They were still in high school,so I'm the oldest of the three
and my brother's a year youngerand then my sister is three
years younger than I am and itwas the whole watching them in
(06:18):
that process.
So it was for me is seeing myfamily's eyes open up and then,
whatever they may have had ontheir mind, it changed.
It shifted, because the factthat they now saw an actual
birth of a child, a new familymember that they can love on,
they can take me.
My son became a mascot with mysister because the kids even in
(06:42):
high school, they knew her, theyknew they saw him coming.
It was like they called our, wehad.
Our mascot was the bears.
They called him the little cub.
So she was still cheering in hersenior year and she's taking
him around everywhere.
She went uh with my son.
He was just like, he was justgracious and started teaching
him how to uh, playing aroundwith video games and everything
(07:02):
like that and but I saw ourfamily unity.
So it was precious to mebecause my brother always felt
like he was left out because itwas two girls and one boy.
Now he had a brother and whenmy brother passed away in 2012,
they both had a special bond upuntil my brother's death and he
(07:24):
will always remember his unclebecause of the special bond.
So it was the way the Lord didit.
He's so intentional and theyhad that bond ever since and he
still knows he will always bewith him.
That presence will always bewith him.
So that's where that goes to.
(07:46):
So that's why I said I wantedto make sure I clarified that
question.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I just thought about it.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I was like my brother was the first thing, the first,
when my child was born, I waslike I got it.
And now to know that long afterthat down the road, that what
happened and they had, I stillhad a special bond to this day.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I love that answer, keisha.
I love it.
Our last and final question is,as a mom.
Now, what would you have donedifferently?
If anything, any one of youcould go first.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I'm going to be honest with you and I wish that,
if I could go back to changethe hands of time, was teaching
my son more about being in theLord sooner than he did.
My son put on Christ not toolong, a couple of years ago.
But I wish I had raised him tothe biblical principles as I
(08:47):
should as a mother, as I shouldas a mother.
That is one of my biggestthings that I really wish I had
did more of.
When I came into the body wehad, it was on the way to the
building.
It was a car accident.
My son was trying to well, myson was in the back seat and the
way the lady hit me and I saidI knew it wasn't nothing but
(09:10):
Satan.
Because I said you knew I'mabout to go and change my life,
I don't live for you anymore,and you could have taken, you
know, but the Lord.
But the Lord surrounded us withhis protection to get us to the
building safely.
The lady and I didn't have adisagreement, we just exchanged
information.
But I said I'm still heading tothe building because I got to
(09:32):
be in that water.
I learned what I needed tolearn and I said, yes, it only
took me two Bible studies and Isaid yes to the Lord because I
said what are we waiting on?
Can I go today?
And on the way, my baby in thebackseat.
We have an accident and noscratches or harm, but we still
(09:54):
made it to that building.
Now, knowing what I do know,even more so in my studies, I
just wish that I had placed himmore into God's hands, learning
more about Jesus.
I'm grateful that he wasbaptized, but it should never
been that long where I shouldhave orchestrated my part of the
(10:16):
mother, cause it starts at home, and I wish I'd wish I'd done
more.
That would be what I would say,and I wish I could change the
answer now.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Annie, you're asking what we would have done
different as mothers, with ourchildren or at the point of
their birth.
Okay, well, for me, becauseDaryl is still he's nine, I
would say and he's on thespectrum and also has been
(10:49):
diagnosed with ADHD, and so wehave daily battles and daily
challenges.
Even just wrapping my mindaround, I would say what I would
have done differently.
To be honest and transparent, Iwould not have come back home
(11:14):
when I left his father.
I would have taken a differentroute, just for the sake of
stability and just making anenvironment for us to both heal
in, because we went through, youknow stuff with his father, but
just giving us a bettersurrounding to heal in and also,
(11:38):
I would say, I guess, justbeing a little bit more patient,
because you know our children,you know, will definitely try us
, lord Jesus, because you knowour children, you know will
definitely try us, lord Jesus.
But the chief thing I would sayis to have went a different
direction through our healingprocess and through relocating
(12:01):
and reestablishing ourselves.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Well, I would say for me, I grew up in an abuse, like
losing my mom at seven.
I was abused.
So when I had my kids, I wasrepeating the cycle with both of
them.
By the grace and mercy of God,god arrested my heart one day
(12:25):
with my son and he said you'redoing to him what was done to
you.
And that pricked my heart and Isaid, ok, we've got to figure
out a different way.
Was I still stern?
Absolutely, but I didn't do tomy kids what was done to me.
Unfortunately, amanda was theone that got the brunt of the
(12:48):
abuse.
So, and that causes a strain inour relationship.
So what I would have donedifferently and now is like one
of now, is that era where peopletalking about mental health and
getting our mental healthtogether and healing from
traumas and all that other stuff.
I wish they was talking aboutthat then.
Okay, so that way, you know, wewould have healed from all of
(13:10):
that stuff that we carry on.
So, with Amanda, I definitelywould have loved to have taken
parenting classes, more so thananything With Devon, raised him
(13:31):
in the admonition of the Lord.
Devon was baptized, I want tosay at the age of nine, and it's
so funny.
The night he got baptized itwas just brother Daniel was
given a testimony and his heartwas pricked because the minister
was being vulnerable.
He and I, we were doing Biblestudies together and we were
(13:51):
reading scripture, we werepraying.
So again, amanda, I wasn't inthe church, with Yvonne I was,
so there was a huge difference.
So if I could have doneanything differently, I think
with Amanda would have been thebiggest parenting classes,
understanding anger managementand all that other stuff,
(14:12):
because I was abused and Ibrought that into me being a
parent and I would recommend allparents please, please, please.
If you've dealt with any traumagrowing up, take a look at your
behaviors and see how you'retreating your kids, because nine
(14:32):
times out of 10, you arerepeating what was done to you
and those kids don't deservethat.
Get the help.
There's trauma therapy.
If you've been traumatizedlisten to my voice because I'm
going to say this slowly Get youa trauma therapist.
(14:55):
Talk therapy does not work forpeople who have gone through
trauma Period.
Talk therapist does notunderstand trauma.
You need someone whospecializes in trauma.
(15:16):
Are there any closing remarks,sisters, before we end?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I have um a close remark to those who are
listening that um areconsidering motherhood.
Understand and cherish it, don'tabuse it.
Don't abuse it it's similar towhat you just said about the
trauma and don't repeat thecycles, but understand the
closeness of it, that you'regiving life because god chose
(15:43):
you and understand your value asa woman.
Never let them talk you down.
Never let you let anyone say anyharsh words to you.
Never to let anything affect you, especially if you decide to go
through the process of being amother and you and your spouse
are going through that process,whether it's through fertility
(16:03):
or what have you, it's alwaysalso to stay healthy for you and
mentally and if you canspiritually, please connect with
someone, if you can in the body, to help you through that walk
and that journey, even as amother in the body, have a
parent walk you through, becausethe depression, the postpartum,
(16:26):
all of that is real.
And to be able to understandthat what is to come because the
books don't do it you need thereal life, you need someone
that's going to walk beside you.
Your husband is great, but youneed the other woman, or
motherly woman, to be with you,understand, nourishing,
(16:47):
understanding your role andunderstanding that you carry
this life and whatever you'redoing is going to affect that
child.
So please be mindful, reallythink about this through, and
you and your spouse are goingthrough that process of being a
mother or being a parent.
Whether it's through adoption,it doesn't matter, because it's
(17:08):
going to affect the child andyou start to fight.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Now, lakeisha, I think that was beautiful and the
only thing that I would justpiggyback on, because I know as
mothers we run ourselves downinto the ground, and so I will
echo your sentiments to be kindto yourself, forgive you, to
(17:35):
also teach your children thateven you are not perfect.
There's no perfection exceptGod.
I oftentimes make sure that ifI've lost my patience or lashed
out, I apologize to my son and Ilet him see that vulnerability
(17:57):
in me to admit my wrong beforehim, even if it's not pertaining
to him.
I let him see how I'm supposedto handle myself as a woman of
God and to be that example tohim.
Handle myself as a woman of Godand to be that example to him.
But the biggest thing for meright now, because I know that
as mothers, like you said, don'tallow anyone to speak down on
(18:18):
you.
I've been through that.
So I encourage mothers to justshow that same love, that same
understanding and that samemercy that you show your
children, that you show yourhusband, that you show everybody
else in your life.
Turn that spoon around and takethat dose yourself and be
(18:40):
merciful to you and be kind toyou and love on you.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I love what both of you sisters said.
So I'm going to read this fromPsalms 127.
I'm going to read verse threeall the way down and it reads
and I'm reading it in thePassion Translation because I
love the way it reads.
Here it says children are God'slove gift.
They are heaven's generousreward.
(19:06):
Children born to a young couplewill one day rise to protect
and provide for their parents.
You will be the couple who hasmany of them.
A household full of childrenwill not bring shame on your
name, but victory when you faceyour enemies, for your offspring
(19:29):
will influence and honor toprevail on your behalf.
Children are beautiful.
Motherhood is amazing.
So for anyone who, like thesister, said don't neglect
yourself.
As a mom, self-care is reallytruly God care.
(19:50):
He don't want us to neglectourselves.
We got to do the things to bethe best moms, the best aunties
that we can be to those, andeven the spiritual moms that we
can be to those that God bringsinto our lives.
Thank you all so much forlistening to our conversation.
We pray that it blesses you.
We pray that something we havesaid will touch you in a way
(20:14):
that will cause you to reflectand say you know what was me and
, most importantly, look foryour local churches of christ.
Ask somebody to do a biblestudy with you, because, at the
end of the day, jesus died onthis great cross giving us grace
(20:34):
, mercy and peace.
But outside of him you don'thave, because many of us would
not have made it through withouthim.
I just knew I had to be a better mom to him than I
was to Amanda, because now I'm achild of God.
Now I have to raise him in theadmonition of the Lord.
I have to teach him about theLord, Do that same with his
sister, because we both weremembers of the body, but with
him just rearing him up in theLord.
That was what went through mymind.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
For me, as I had shared earlier, I had a
high-risk pregnancy, but even,like I said, I had already
uttered for a greater glory, mypregnancy and the high risk
pregnancy, um to to mend myfather's and my relationship.
(00:50):
Um, it was crazy because thenight before um, daryl's father
and my dad, they kind ofexchanged words, but it wasn't
like, you know, somebody wasabout to throw blows, it wasn't
like that, but they exchangedwords, um, and, needless to say,
it was like, you know, somebodywas about to throw blows, it
wasn't like that, but theyexchanged words, um, and,
needless to say, it was like youknow what?
I'm not in move for none of it,because I'm the one, you know,
(01:11):
in the trenches with our childand you know, don't know what's
going to be what.
But anyway, um, that next day,we, honestly, my dad and myself,
and the nurse was in the roomand we just so happened to be
talking about God to the nurse,and um, god was little did I
know God was about to get hisglory, that for greater glory,
(01:33):
for greater glory, um, and soshe came to do some type of um,
ultrasound or something, and um,she had.
She said, hmm, um, ultrasoundor something.
And um, she had.
She said Hmm, and I didn't knowwhat was going on.
I knew that my wound cause mywater had already broke, mind
you, seven days ago.
And so, um, they weremonitoring him, monitoring me,
(01:59):
and I just kept having thatflush, that flushing going on.
And it was funny because on theboard they said my goal was to
stay pregnant.
I'm like, okay.
So that day she did theultrasound and she saw whatever
she saw.
She alerted the other medicalstaff and within a minute I
(02:22):
guess she's the charge nurse sheliterally came in with a piece
of paper and spoke almost likean auctioneer, all of their
disclosures, snatched off myhead rack and whisked me into
the OR room because they saidthat they had determined that he
was better on the outside thanhe was on the inside.
(02:44):
I believe that it was apossibility that his heart rate
was dropping or the oxygen, andso, like I said, you know, it
was really, of course, chargedup, but I remember, as they were
wheeling me out of that roominto the emergency room to our
emergency section, the nursesaid to me, she said good luck,
(03:06):
and I told her.
I said God got me, I said Godgot us, and I felt like God just
orchestrated that encounterwith that nurse, the mending and
reconciliation with my dad,daryl's birth, just centered
around so much.
And I feel that, even like youlike you said, adney, um and I'm
(03:26):
glad you said it because youwant to be in God's grace Um,
when you have children, um, godis sovereign.
He knows what we're going to dobefore we even do it.
The thought crosses our mind.
But I was actually a newlywedum with someone who said they
wanted children, didn't want towait, and I still experienced
(03:50):
less than desirable experiences.
But to see how God orchestratedDaryl's birth and to see how
things manifested, I'm just inawe.
They told me that once theytook him out, that he was so
small that I probably would nothear him cry.
And when they lifted him up,god allowed me to hear my baby
(04:13):
cry two times and I just knew.
I knew that God was in thatroom, god was in the situation,
he was in the birth and, likeyou said, from the time I found
out that I was pregnant withDaryl, I said Godfather, this is
your son, he is yours, and sothat was my experience of him
(04:34):
being born.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Adni, can you do me a favor and repeat your question?
I want to make sure I heard youcorrectly.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Once you gave birth, what went on in your mind?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Once I gave birth and thank you for clarifying the
question Once I gave birth, allI thought about was my brother,
to be honest with you.
That's why I wanted to makesure I heard you correctly,
because I thought about him, howmuch I really wanted my son to
(05:11):
have similar ways, don't get mewrong.
My brother's mischievous inschool and everything, but his
heart was the key.
And so when my brother didn'tmake it to the hospital, he was
so afraid to hold him because hewas like he's so little, he's
never seen a newborn.
He was like he's so little, I'mafraid to hold him, I'm gonna
(05:33):
drop him, I'm gonna drop him.
And we placed him like in hisforearm so he could actually
feel and touch it, cradle hishead and actually like this is
life.
And he was like I would neverthought that holding a life
would be so memorable.
And to embrace Throughout thattime.
(05:54):
After that, my brother and mysister.
Both they embraced him as ifthat was their own little
brother, because you know, giventhe fact that you know here,
I'm 20, but they were still I'vealready graduated high school.
They were still in high school,so I'm the oldest of the three
and my brother's a year youngerand then my sister is three
years younger than I am and itwas the whole watching them in
(06:18):
that process.
So it was for me is seeing myfamily's eyes open up and then,
whatever they may have had ontheir mind, it changed.
It shifted, because the factthat they now saw an actual
birth of a child, a new familymember that they can love on,
they can take me.
My son became a mascot with mysister because the kids even in
(06:42):
high school, they knew her, theyknew they saw him coming.
It was like they called our, wehad.
Our mascot was the bears.
They called him the little cub.
So she was still cheering in hersenior year and she's taking
him around everywhere.
She went uh with my son.
He was just like, he was justgracious and started teaching
him how to uh, playing aroundwith video games and everything
(07:02):
like that and but I saw ourfamily unity.
So it was precious to mebecause my brother always felt
like he was left out because itwas two girls and one boy.
Now he had a brother and whenmy brother passed away in 2012,
they both had a special bond upuntil my brother's death and he
(07:24):
will always remember his unclebecause of the special bond.
So it was the way the Lord didit.
He's so intentional and theyhad that bond ever since and he
still knows he will always bewith him.
That presence will always bewith him.
So that's where that goes to.
(07:46):
So that's why I said I wantedto make sure I clarified that
question.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I just thought about it.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I was like my brother was the first thing, the first,
when my child was born, I waslike I got it.
And now to know that long afterthat down the road, that what
happened and they had, I stillhad a special bond to this day.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I love that answer, keisha.
I love it.
Our last and final question is,as a mom.
Now, what would you have donedifferently?
If anything, any one of youcould go first.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I'm going to be honest with you and I wish that,
if I could go back to changethe hands of time, was teaching
my son more about being in theLord sooner than he did.
My son put on Christ not toolong, a couple of years ago.
But I wish I had raised him tothe biblical principles as I
(08:47):
should as a mother, as I shouldas a mother.
That is one of my biggestthings that I really wish I had
did more of.
When I came into the body wehad, it was on the way to the
building.
It was a car accident.
My son was trying to well, myson was in the back seat and the
way the lady hit me and I saidI knew it wasn't nothing but
(09:10):
Satan.
Because I said you knew I'mabout to go and change my life,
I don't live for you anymore,and you could have taken, you
know, but the Lord.
But the Lord surrounded us withhis protection to get us to the
building safely.
The lady and I didn't have adisagreement, we just exchanged
information.
But I said I'm still heading tothe building because I got to
(09:32):
be in that water.
I learned what I needed tolearn and I said, yes, it only
took me two Bible studies and Isaid yes to the Lord because I
said what are we waiting on?
Can I go today?
And on the way, my baby in thebackseat.
We have an accident and noscratches or harm, but we still
(09:54):
made it to that building.
Now, knowing what I do know,even more so in my studies, I
just wish that I had placed himmore into God's hands, learning
more about Jesus.
I'm grateful that he wasbaptized, but it should never
been that long where I shouldhave orchestrated my part of the
(10:16):
mother, cause it starts at home, and I wish I'd wish I'd done
more.
That would be what I would say,and I wish I could change the
answer now.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Annie, you're asking what we would have done
different as mothers, with ourchildren or at the point of
their birth.
Okay, well, for me, becauseDaryl is still he's nine, I
would say and he's on thespectrum and also has been
(10:49):
diagnosed with ADHD, and so wehave daily battles and daily
challenges.
Even just wrapping my mindaround, I would say what I would
have done differently.
To be honest and transparent, Iwould not have come back home
(11:14):
when I left his father.
I would have taken a differentroute, just for the sake of
stability and just making anenvironment for us to both heal
in, because we went through, youknow stuff with his father, but
just giving us a bettersurrounding to heal in and also,
(11:38):
I would say, I guess, justbeing a little bit more patient,
because you know our children,you know, will definitely try us
, lord Jesus, because you knowour children, you know will
definitely try us, lord Jesus.
But the chief thing I would sayis to have went a different
direction through our healingprocess and through relocating
(12:01):
and reestablishing ourselves.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Well, I would say for me, I grew up in an abuse, like
losing my mom at seven.
I was abused.
So when I had my kids, I wasrepeating the cycle with both of
them.
By the grace and mercy of God,god arrested my heart one day
(12:25):
with my son and he said you'redoing to him what was done to
you.
And that pricked my heart and Isaid, ok, we've got to figure
out a different way.
Was I still stern?
Absolutely, but I didn't do tomy kids what was done to me.
Unfortunately, amanda was theone that got the brunt of the
(12:48):
abuse.
So, and that causes a strain inour relationship.
So what I would have donedifferently and now is like one
of now, is that era where peopletalking about mental health and
getting our mental healthtogether and healing from
traumas and all that other stuff.
I wish they was talking aboutthat then.
Okay, so that way, you know, wewould have healed from all of
(13:10):
that stuff that we carry on.
So, with Amanda, I definitelywould have loved to have taken
parenting classes, more so thananything With Devon, raised him
(13:31):
in the admonition of the Lord.
Devon was baptized, I want tosay at the age of nine, and it's
so funny.
The night he got baptized itwas just brother Daniel was
given a testimony and his heartwas pricked because the minister
was being vulnerable.
He and I, we were doing Biblestudies together and we were
(13:51):
reading scripture, we werepraying.
So again, amanda, I wasn't inthe church, with Yvonne I was,
so there was a huge difference.
So if I could have doneanything differently, I think
with Amanda would have been thebiggest parenting classes,
understanding anger managementand all that other stuff,
(14:12):
because I was abused and Ibrought that into me being a
parent and I would recommend allparents please, please, please.
If you've dealt with any traumagrowing up, take a look at your
behaviors and see how you'retreating your kids, because nine
(14:32):
times out of 10, you arerepeating what was done to you
and those kids don't deservethat.
Get the help.
There's trauma therapy.
If you've been traumatizedlisten to my voice because I'm
going to say this slowly Get youa trauma therapist.
(14:55):
Talk therapy does not work forpeople who have gone through
trauma Period.
Talk therapist does notunderstand trauma.
You need someone whospecializes in trauma.
(15:16):
Are there any closing remarks,sisters, before we end?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I have um a close remark to those who are
listening that um areconsidering motherhood.
Understand and cherish it, don'tabuse it.
Don't abuse it it's similar towhat you just said about the
trauma and don't repeat thecycles, but understand the
closeness of it, that you'regiving life because god chose
(15:43):
you and understand your value asa woman.
Never let them talk you down.
Never let you let anyone say anyharsh words to you.
Never to let anything affect you, especially if you decide to go
through the process of being amother and you and your spouse
are going through that process,whether it's through fertility
(16:03):
or what have you, it's alwaysalso to stay healthy for you and
mentally and if you canspiritually, please connect with
someone, if you can in the body, to help you through that walk
and that journey, even as amother in the body, have a
parent walk you through, becausethe depression, the postpartum,
(16:26):
all of that is real.
And to be able to understandthat what is to come because the
books don't do it you need thereal life, you need someone
that's going to walk beside you.
Your husband is great, but youneed the other woman, or
motherly woman, to be with you,understand, nourishing,
(16:47):
understanding your role andunderstanding that you carry
this life and whatever you'redoing is going to affect that
child.
So please be mindful, reallythink about this through, and
you and your spouse are goingthrough that process of being a
mother or being a parent.
Whether it's through adoption,it doesn't matter, because it's
(17:08):
going to affect the child andyou start to fight.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Now, lakeisha, I think that was beautiful and the
only thing that I would justpiggyback on, because I know as
mothers we run ourselves downinto the ground, and so I will
echo your sentiments to be kindto yourself, forgive you, to
(17:35):
also teach your children thateven you are not perfect.
There's no perfection exceptGod.
I oftentimes make sure that ifI've lost my patience or lashed
out, I apologize to my son and Ilet him see that vulnerability
(17:57):
in me to admit my wrong beforehim, even if it's not pertaining
to him.
I let him see how I'm supposedto handle myself as a woman of
God and to be that example tohim.
Handle myself as a woman of Godand to be that example to him.
But the biggest thing for meright now, because I know that
as mothers, like you said, don'tallow anyone to speak down on
(18:18):
you.
I've been through that.
So I encourage mothers to justshow that same love, that same
understanding and that samemercy that you show your
children, that you show yourhusband, that you show everybody
else in your life.
Turn that spoon around and takethat dose yourself and be
(18:40):
merciful to you and be kind toyou and love on you.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I love what both of you sisters said.
So I'm going to read this fromPsalms 127.
I'm going to read verse threeall the way down and it reads
and I'm reading it in thePassion Translation because I
love the way it reads.
Here it says children are God'slove gift.
They are heaven's generousreward.
(19:06):
Children born to a young couplewill one day rise to protect
and provide for their parents.
You will be the couple who hasmany of them.
A household full of childrenwill not bring shame on your
name, but victory when you faceyour enemies, for your offspring
(19:29):
will influence and honor toprevail on your behalf.
Children are beautiful.
Motherhood is amazing.
So for anyone who, like thesister, said don't neglect
yourself.
As a mom, self-care is reallytruly God care.
(19:50):
He don't want us to neglectourselves.
We got to do the things to bethe best moms, the best aunties
that we can be to those, andeven the spiritual moms that we
can be to those that God bringsinto our lives.
Thank you all so much forlistening to our conversation.
We pray that it blesses you.
We pray that something we havesaid will touch you in a way
(20:14):
that will cause you to reflectand say you know what was me and
, most importantly, look foryour local churches of christ.
Ask somebody to do a biblestudy with you, because, at the
end of the day, jesus died onthis great cross giving us grace
(20:34):
, mercy and peace.
But outside of him you don'thave, because many of us would
not have made it through withouthim.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.