June 9, 2025 • 34 mins
What happens when fathers must parent while carrying their own wounds? We explore the complex journey of men trying to be providers and protectors while dealing with personal trauma and societal expectations.
• Fatherhood comes with immense pressure to provide, protect, and nurture even when wounded
• Men often struggle with vulnerability, building walls instead of seeking help
• The lack of positive examples makes fathering particularly challenging for those who grew up without fathers
• Societal emphasis on financial success creates additional wounds for men trying their best to provide
• The power of healing comes through vulnerability, community support, and spiritual connection
• Even God the Father experienced wounds watching His Son on the cross, showing strength manifests in weakness
• Mental health concerns affect fathers but many don't seek help due to cultural expectations
If you're a father struggling with your own wounds while trying to parent, remember that seeking help isn't weakness—it's strength. Find community, open up to trusted supporters, and above all, connect with God as the ultimate source of healing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, it's tough, and fathering while being wounded
at the same time.
You know I've said this to youbefore and I want to say it
again that when it comes towomen being wounded, they know
them, sisters, they know how toget together, they know how to
get together, they know how toexpress themselves and what
they're going through.
And you know this and I knowthis, that when it comes to men,
y'all.
So we're diving into part two.
(00:35):
Part two is the father's wound,or a father's wound or whatever
you want to call it thefather's wound, their father's
wounds.
Some have one wound and somehave many.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Listen, fathers be going through it.
Wound.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, so let's talk about it.
Let's talk about um.
Most fathers are broken um inour father and at the same time,
I wanted to talk about thatsituation Like what do you
believe fathers are goingthrough but at the same time,
have to be strong enough tofather at the same time?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
There's so much what's a good word so much
pressure, right, and I believe Isaid this before on one of the
previous shows that we have.
Chris Rock said something thatjust stays with me.
It just it just stays with meand I'm going to paraphrase it.
He said something to the effectthat, you know, only women,
(01:34):
children and pets are trulyloved and respected on this
planet.
It's like for a man, a husbandor a father.
There's so much pressurebecause if you mess up, you're
not even considered a man.
That woman can mess up.
She's still loved as a woman,whether it's a mother or wife,
whatever the case is.
And he's basically given like asocietal view of it.
You know, I'm not quoting himas if he's, you know, on the
(01:55):
same par with scripture oranything like that, but there's
a lot of truth to what he'ssaying.
There's a tremendous amount ofpressure being a father, because
you think of the ideals and theconcepts of.
You know, protection, provision.
You know, and if you don't dothose things, you yourself don't
feel like a man.
(02:17):
And what, what we findourselves in.
You know, thinking aboutpresent day, or you know
conditions and how things are.
There, things are.
There's so many men who didn'thave an example of how to
provide, how to protect.
But, you know, we get into therole of father and then those
(02:41):
wounds just compile because youcome face to face with real life
.
You made some choices now, buthere it is.
You're facing a lot of trialsand tribulations because I can't
afford this, and they'relooking at you as well.
You should be able to.
You're supposed to be theprovider.
You get what I'm saying, and alot of times we just, you know,
(03:03):
we look at certain things, butthat's all across the provider.
You get what I'm saying, and alot of times we just, you know,
we look at certain things, butthat's all across the board.
You're supposed to provide, youknow, financially.
You're supposed to providephysically, but you're also
supposed to provide spiritually,emotionally, mentally.
A lot of us, a lot of men,aren't even thinking in terms of
spiritually, mentally, you know, and psychologically, you
(03:27):
understand what I'm saying,right, and so trying to do that
and you yourself having thosewounds can really be a problem,
not just for the ones who didn'thave the example, but for the
ones who did have the example.
Do you get what I'm saying?
(03:49):
Wow, yeah, um, I can, I can, Ithink I can share this.
I remember, um, my father and Ihad we had a.
We had a really interesting,interesting relationship, of
course, when you, when you'reyoung and you're small and
whatnot.
You interesting relationship,of course, when you're young and
you're small and whatnot.
You know everything.
Daddy's the best.
You know my daddy can beat yourdaddy.
You know your daddy is the Hulk, your daddy is Superman.
(04:11):
All that, yeah, and everythingwas good.
I remember some of my earliestfond memories of my father is
when he would come in the door,you know acting, and he'd just
act like he didn't know I wasthere.
So he'd come in and my mom besitting in the chair, but not
(04:32):
not be like this.
He'll like telling her to bequiet or not.
And then he'll come in thehouse.
You're like, hmm, I wonderwhere he would call me spoke,
you know like that, yeah, andthen I just come running from
behind the door and then I runand he turned around and I leap
into the air and he just catchme and then you know, we just
that's, that's how I was in thebeginning.
(04:52):
Then, of course, you kind ofgrow up with that Growing up,
quite naturally, I want to belike my dad, I want to be like
him.
I just say dad is everything.
Then, you know, you get a littleolder and at that time he was
in the ministry and he answeredthe call and he started
traveling a lot more.
So he started to be gone a lot.
I was in my own ministry withthe group at the time called the
(05:17):
Four Christian Stars.
We started traveling.
So he's traveling and I'mtraveling, and so there'd be a
lot of time, you know, in myteen years, where we'd be
hitting and missing Right right,where we really didn't, and
there's a little bit of driftingjust from the standpoint of us
not seeing each other right.
There'd be times where it'dprobably be like a month before
(05:38):
we'd like really actually saweach other Right Right, like
he'd be gone off to do a gospelmeeting.
Each other Right Right, likehe'd be gone off to do a gospel
meeting.
And back in these days, nick,they were like actual gospel
meetings from Sunday to Friday,not this little Sunday to
Wednesday, mess.
Right, he'd be Sunday gonepreaching, right, and he'd be
coming back on Friday, but I'dbe leaving on Friday going to
(05:59):
sing somewhere, right, and thenI wouldn't be coming back on
Friday but I'd be leaving onFriday going to sing somewhere,
right, and then I wouldn't begetting back till Monday.
He'd be gone again, right,going to do another gospel
meeting, right, right, right,coming back on Friday, I'd be
going to another place on thatFriday, you know what I mean.
So there's a while there wherewe kind of drifted a little bit
(06:23):
you know nothing serious nothing, you know serious like we were
having issues with each other,just drifting because we
wouldn't see each other andreally the extent of our, our,
our relationship at that pointwas just phone calls.
He's like, hey, okay, spoke,you doing all right, all right.
(06:46):
Got older and we got backcloser again because you know,
I'm a man, I'm trying to do thisthing.
I got married, you know, andyou know we start learning some
things and I love thoseconversations towards towards
the end and of course you know,for those who know, my father
passed away in 2002.
(07:07):
So towards the end we startedhaving conversations like real
deep conversations, yeah, and Inthese conversations I would
learn about some of the things,his wounds that he had to carry,
(07:27):
but I didn't know it because Iwas a kid and you know, back
then, our parents, you know that, you know they, certain things,
you know they.
They just kept to themselves,especially men back then.
You know you're a man, youhandle it, and they kept those
things reserved and things ofthat nature.
And it's just good to havethese conversations.
Listen, I would encourageanybody you still have your
(07:50):
grandparents, your parents,living with you talk with them,
like, have deep conversations,not the you know, typical
high-bye and love you and allthat.
No, sit down and talk with themand learn you know typical high
by and love you and all that.
No, sit down and talk with themand learn you know about them.
So, yeah, there there were somethings that he disclosed in
those conversations that I was,that I wasn't necessarily privy
(08:11):
to.
Now, a lot of it they were.
They were you know and when Isay they, I'm talking about both
him and my mother.
They were, they felt at thetime, doing right by me and my
siblings because we werechildren and so some things they
would just hold and reserve,you know, kind of keep reserved
to themselves.
But learning about some of thosewounds helps you to kind of
(08:31):
look at them in a differentlight.
Because who is this?
This is my father, preacher,man of God.
You understand what I'm sayingand I'm like, okay, I'm like wow
, okay, dad, like you had tocarry that, you had to Wow, and
I mean you just have.
I know I certainly did a deeperappreciation for who he was and
(08:56):
what he did and so, yeah, Iwould certainly just bring that
out.
You know, when we talk about afather's wounds, it's not just
those who didn't have theexample.
And I got to be honest with youmy father, he didn't grow up
with his biological father, sohe, you know, he, he felt a lot
of you know those things and youknow I grew up with my father
(09:17):
so you know it was different forme, but him carrying those
wounds and sharing those,sharing that with me, like man,
wow, men of God, yeah, you knowwhat I'm saying.
They carry, you know, a lot ofthose wounds.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Yeah, it's tough fathering while being wounded at
the same time.
You know I've said this to youbefore and I'm going to say it
again that when it comes towomen being wounded, they know
them, sisters, they know how toget together, they know how to
get together, they know how toexpress themselves and what
they're going through.
And you know this and I knowthis that when it comes to men,
we build walls we don't want toshare with another brother or
(09:54):
what we may be going through,because that brother probably
going through the very samething.
But, man, like you said, we arebuilt and taught to be a certain
way, like be tough or man uplike don't be soft, you're not.
So if you hurting ball up, suckit up.
You know what I mean.
So those things even carry onto adulthood and then so, as an
(10:15):
adult, you know, even for myself.
So you know, I have my highsand my lows, and I'm going to
tell you.
I'm going to tell you this Ithink a lot of men don't want to
talk to another brother becausethey moments and our lows and
and some days are better thanothers.
But I think what helps me isbecause I have the foundation in
(10:47):
God.
But even though that you're aChristian, you still go through
stuff, you know.
I don't want to paint a picturelike, just because you're a
Christian, you're not going tobe wounded.
Just like your dad my dad, sinceI didn't grow up with my dad my
daddy came back in my worldbefore I got married I've
forgiven my dad um, currently my, my father and I are building.
So like he lost all of thoseyears.
(11:07):
He's 87 years old, so my thingis like as an adult, as an adult
man to have children Isometimes think about that stuff
like man, like what about mydaddy was in my life?
like I told my my dad recently.
I said like, hey, you know, Iwould love you, you know your
grandchildren and meet yourother son, but you know dad
(11:29):
being dad, you know dad's like.
He's not really making thatconnection and I'm talking to,
but again I've forgiven himbecause God would want me to do
that.
Now, what I would want, see tome.
I would really want to talk tohim in person.
I've had that opportunity.
Before my son was born.
I went to his country and Ivisited him and me and him
talked, but I went with my wife,so they really really talk like
(11:52):
that.
But it's some things that Iwant to talk to him on a
personal bit, like one-on-onewith my brother and I.
But it's not something thatgets to me, but it's a thought
that comes from time to time.
And I was like man, it wouldhave been kind of cool for me to
have my dad in my life and forhim to be around.
But I know there are a lot ofmen that's going through the
very same thing.
So, while they probably don'thave their dads in their life
(12:14):
and they be like, oh, he's adeadbeat, because mommy said
that he was a deadbeat, well, hemay not be the deadbeat.
Maybe your mom was saying badthings about him, because
there's women like that too.
They'd be like oh, your daddywas a deadbeat.
Now the dude has some kind ofanimosity and some hatred in his
heart.
But until he speaks to his dadhe'll really find out the truth.
But I think a lot of men gothrough that self-same thing too
.
But wounds could come invarious ways.
(12:37):
You could have psychologicalwounds.
You can have a wound ofproviding.
Some men are not confident.
Some men are making $10 an hourand they still trying to father
just the bare minimum, try toprovide for their little ones,
and they're like this is notenough.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
And you got the world Go ahead and I just want to
piggyback off what you're saying.
And you're immersed in a world,a society that places so much
emphasis on being a baller yeah,having a bag, yeah, yeah.
So here you are, waking upevery day and you know, you
listen to this radio show and Idon't need no broke man and he
(13:11):
can't do nothing.
And you know, we have a worldnow where women can go out there
and get it themselves.
You understand what I'm saying.
So there's a lot there, youknow, and here you are trying.
Right your hardest, yeah, and,and you know, some of them can't
even get a job.
You know, you said somethinginteresting, nick, that I kind
of want to touch on man, youknow, with this topic of, you
(13:35):
know, fathers with wounds,trying to be the provider,
trying to be the protector,trying to be the source, but
you're wounded, right.
You said a word, vulnerability,and that proves to be tough for
men in general, because I hopeI'm right with saying I believe
(13:59):
I am.
I think, by nature we'recreatures of power, we're
conquerors, right, like you seethat even in the physiological
makeup, most men are physicallystronger than women.
You know a man, you know we'rerepetitive, right.
That's why we, you know, wedominate in sports and things of
that nature and just, just justinnate and just in everything,
(14:20):
basically, and so we're walkingpower and I don't think and I'm
going to say everybody, not justwomen, but I think men, even
men ourselves we don'tunderstand the difficulty that
we have trying to harness and,for lack of a better term, term
(14:43):
tame and curve the power.
We have to do that every day,you, you get what I'm saying.
We have to do it on a dailybasis, and so concepts like
vulnerability and weakness,that's foreign to us.
Yeah, yeah, you get what I'msaying, right, that's why we so
easily fall into the man up,suck it up, man, you won't cry
(15:04):
this, that and the other.
And, and you know, you hear,like even now like I trust me, I
do believe this Like it's okayfor a man to cry, but even now,
when you hear something inside aman just be kind of cringing,
for a man to cry, you'd be like,yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay for
(15:25):
a man to cry, but I ain'ttrying to cry right now.
You know they're like, you knowthis it's just, it's just in us
, like so vulnerability and andthings of that nature.
Let me tell you something.
That's why, when you look atgood God, almighty man, let me
tell you something I am always,I will forever, be, amazed at
(15:50):
Christ God the son, yeah, goingthrough what he went through,
because not only is he a man,he's God.
Seriously, bro, like you, putyour hand on me one more time.
(16:11):
Like you know, I'm thinking,I'm like I can't.
It blows my mind because I'mlike, if that was me, it's over
for humanity.
It's over for humanity.
The angels ain't even got to doit.
I'm going.
If that was me, it's over forhumanity.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It's over for humanity.
The angels ain't even got to doit.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I'm going to do it, you know, but, but, but you know
, even in talking about that,right, because you know, and the
scripture talks about it, Paulsaid this you know, you know,
speaking of God, my, my strengthis made perfect through
weakness.
Right, that's something that wereally got to take a look at as
men.
When you talk about being afather with wounds and trying to
(16:48):
, you know, continue to walkthat path, wounded, right, take
a really good look at God.
And when I say God, I'm talkingabout God, the father and the
son.
There's not much in scripturethat talks about this, but think
about this.
I think about stuff like thiswhen Christ is on the cross and
(17:08):
he knew this, he knew what hehad to endure.
You talk about wounded.
Now, question who is he talkingto?
Who is Christ talking to?
(17:37):
Who's God the son talking to?
He's talking to watch it, hisfather.
Now, just let your mind think,for a second, scripture doesn't
give us much.
There's not much I can say onit, but I'm speculating here.
God the father.
I think there's a woundingthere.
(17:57):
So when we look at Christ andrightfully so look at him on the
cross.
He endured all of that.
Yes, he did.
But what is the father enduringwhile this is happening.
This is the only time and Ithink I can say this, this is
the only time that the fatherdoesn't come and do for his son
(18:19):
and talk about wounded right,because and the reason I think I
can say that is because I'mtrying to imagine myself If my
son falls down on the ground andhe got a scrape on his knee and
he reaching up for me, daddy,guess what daddy going to do?
He don't even have to reach upfor me.
I'm already there if I see itand I know it.
You understand what I'm saying.
When I was, you know, messing upand this, that and the other,
(18:42):
my father was right there.
Even when my father passedRight and I was messing up and
had some things on, mygrandfather was right there.
You know I had a major issue inmy life, you know, at the time,
after my father passed away,and the first thing out of my
grandfather's mouth you good, doyou need money?
I'm like no, granddaddy didn't,because, you know, granddaddy
(19:02):
was always my bank.
Granddaddy, let me hold $50.
Granddaddy, let me hold $50.
And so you know, I was goingthrough a major transition in my
life at the time and mygrandfather was like do you need
?
First of all, he wanted to know, was I good?
Did anybody anybody tried me?
(19:24):
I said, no, I'm good, I'm good.
He's like do you need money?
I said, uh, no, I'm all right.
Do you need money?
He's like, you know, I stillgot.
You know, he had property intampa and he was talking about
money, money, right, right, youknow, I mean, and I'm like, nah,
nah, granddaddy, I'll you know,I I made my bed, I'll handle it
, know.
But what I'm saying to you is afather and you know these, these
(19:46):
concepts that you can'tseparate from being a father.
Provision, you know protection,right, and you know those two
concepts my grandfather andfather instilled in me.
They, like you do that.
Those two things you don't getaway from.
You do that.
They were doing it.
Yeah, my point is they weredoing it.
It's in them, right, and anyman worth his worth, his salt is
(20:10):
in him to do that.
But here it is, god, the fatherdoesn't do it.
You're talking about wounds,yeah, looking at your son on the
cross, and you don't do it.
The passion of the Christ, melGibson, they sensationalized it,
but I really like there's thisone scene where Christ is on the
cross, he gives up the ghost,and then you just there's like a
(20:33):
like an aerial view of him, andthen you just see like a tear
fall from heaven, as if thefather let out.
I was like man.
That's a pretty good depiction.
Like I said, scripture don'treally go into that.
Yeah, but that's just mespeculating, right, right, right
.
I'm looking at to me theultimate father with a wound,
(20:54):
looking down at Calvary's cross.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
This is the reality, right.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
This is the reality, right?
The reality is that we'rehearing this word more and more
(21:17):
often.
Mental health um, there's a fewNBA players are starting to
come out and say, look, I got totake care of my mental, and
these are individuals that gotchildren.
You know what I mean.
So it's starting to come outmore now.
Like people are like people arebringing awareness to it.
Like it's okay, it's okay to gosee a counselor, it's OK to go
talk to somebody about yourunderlying issues or what you
(21:39):
may be going through, and youknow, hopefully the men in that
space get the help that theyneed.
But everybody go throughvarious different things and I
like what you said about thefinancial piece, because that's
what the society is pushing now.
Sure, like a woman would say,oh, he better be over six feet
(22:00):
and making six figures.
He could be a good dude.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
But tearing the dude down.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Let me tell you something Women.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
words are so powerful .
A woman could literally tear aman down with her words.
Oh yeah, you know, I don'tthink some women really
understand that A man.
He could be a decent dude justtrying Like I'm going to get it
together.
I'm going to get together andyou may have a woman that lack
discernment, lack the knowledgeand tear that dude down.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
The man already going through it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And he's not emotional.
Because you know, we're notlike we don't have emotions.
We have emotions but we're notat emotional like wow, women are
emotional, you know what I mean.
But the dude will kind of holdit in and then when it's time
for him to express himself, hemay express it in a different
kind of way.
It may come in a form of angergoing off on somebody because he
had that built-in stuff insideof him.
(22:52):
And that's the reality.
Yeah, where, going back to thebase of finances, a man he'd
be'd be like man.
I'm just trying to provide whatI can do for my child.
But to me finances is oneportion, but also another thing
is society has put so much on uswhere we don't even have the
time now to even father our ownchildren.
That thing weighs on a goodfather as well.
(23:13):
I can't tell like women.
Y'all hear me.
I know the dude gotta go outand provide, I know he gotta do
this and that, but a father, agood father, that's family
orientated, he's always thinkingabout his wife.
He's thinking, and he'sthinking about his children Like
man.
How can I find a way to spendtime with my children?
He's not thinking about oh, Igot to get this money, get this
money, get this money I providefor you.
(23:33):
He's thinking about like man,like I know I got to work but at
the same time I want to spendtime with my family, so that
could be scarring him internally.
It's not saying that it's a badthing that he's working.
It's just that.
He got to provide, he got toprovide.
So God has given me the grace,but I know there's other fathers
that could have other thingsgoing on, because you may have a
(23:54):
baby mother, that's you got topay child support.
Sure, he's a Good dude, I getit, I get it, I get it.
There are some dads that needto be put on child support.
I get it.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
But there's some dudes, fathers, that don't need
to be put on child support.
This really, it really.
It really shows how we all havea responsibility to mature with
our thinking and in terms ofour growth in these roles God
given, roles that we have, right?
So what am I really saying here?
What am I trying to get at?
There's a series aboutfatherhood, right?
(24:30):
So there's.
There's, there's a focus on men, fathers, so this series is
directed to them, so we need togrow and learn from this.
But where the blessing comesinto play is when the wife and
the mother grows from this too.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Baby mother, too, it may not bea wife.
(24:54):
When the son and the daughtergrows from this, too.
What am I saying?
This is a lesson directed tofathers for men, but mothers and
children should be listening toit too, I agree.
And then vice versa, yeah, whenthere's a series for the wife
and the mother, yeah, right,it's directed to them, but the
(25:16):
father and the husband need tobe listening too, and then we
all need to grow together inthis.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Right, it's directed to them,but the father needed and the
husband need to be listening to.
And then we all need to growtogether in this.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Right, like the maximum benefitfrom this lesson.
If this is a lesson directed tome, I receive it, I get it, I
implement it Cool.
But then my wife needs toreceive it, get it and implement
(25:39):
it.
But then my wife needs toreceive it, get it and implement
it Right.
And this all points to the ideaof community, these divine
structures that we'll put intoplay Husband, wife, children,
mother, father you get what I'msaying Children and when that
happens, then we can push backagainst some of that stuff you
were enumerating just a fewminutes ago.
Yeah, okay, we can push backagainst these of that stuff you
(26:01):
were enumerating just a fewminutes ago.
Yeah, okay, we can push backagainst these systems, right,
yeah, we can help the fatherwho's wounded.
Why?
Because in this situation, likeyou said, he's out there, he's
making the money, but him beinghomeless because of that is
really taking a toll.
Taking a toll, oh, yeah, ohyeah, oh yeah.
(26:24):
Taking the toll on the son andlike daddy, why you always
working?
Yeah, I want to.
I'm gonna hear.
You know what I mean.
It takes a toll, yeah, oh yeah,you know what I'm saying for
another situation, you knowwhere.
Listen, uh, this young man had ahad a child with this young
woman years ago.
Let's, uh, let's, let's, let'snot fall into the stereotypical
(26:45):
situation where he just that andhe did that and you make things
difficult.
Both of them make thingsdifficult, you know, and the
child suffers as a result.
What I'm saying, instead ofapproaching it in a godly manner
and let's work through this asbest we can, right, let's make
this amicable and spiritual asbest we can.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.
(27:06):
Whereas in another situation,the father who is wounded
because he physically, you know,or I shouldn't say physically,
financially is not measuring up.
You know, wife, help him, helpme.
A lot of these women is smarterin most cases, anyway, my wife
be helping me.
You know what I mean.
But I mean, you know, help him.
(27:26):
You know, don't talk about him,don't be like the rest of the
world and I do bad all by myself.
And then men who, that manwho's in that situation, don't
be so dogmatic that you can'treceive the help.
Hmm, you understand what I'msaying.
I'm telling you like from theman's standpoint again.
You know, and you knowhopefully we get blessed with
(27:49):
this Men.
You know we got to learn how tohandle this power.
Yeah, we're walking power.
We got to learn how to handleit.
We got to learn how to manageit.
You know we got to be able tomanipulate it.
You get what I'm saying.
You know why there's a lot ofdomestic.
You know stuff happening andabuse and things of that nature
is because a lot of men don'tknow how to handle the power.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
You get what I'm saying.
It's out of control.
We don't express enough.
When we do, it's an explosion.
That's not you handling thepower correctly.
You get what I'm saying.
So I mean all of this is, youknow, within the context of you
know, being wounded.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I like what you said.
I don't know if it was theprevious episode or this episode
We've just been talking but yousaid something.
You quoted a Bible verse mystrength is made perfect in time
of weakness.
And I know he was going throughwhat he was going through
spiritually.
And I think it's still apropos,even to us today, because we go
through stuff from a biblicalspiritual perspective, because
we're Christians, but noteverybody's Christians.
So at least for us, when we'rewounded or we're weak, we know
(28:53):
that God's strength manifests.
So when people be like man, howyou doing all of that?
Well, it's not really me.
It's really that God isempowering me to do these stuff,
but for most men that's notalways the case, especially the
men that are not in covenant.
So I think and maybe this is forthe man that's trying to get
closer to God, I could speak tothem in that regard that we have
(29:14):
an outlet because we'reChristians Because I'm not
trying to paint the picture likeChristians got it all perfect,
but at least we have an outlet,which is the Father.
You know, when we're weak, but Ithink for the unchurched or the
man, the Father that's not,don't have a connection or
relationship with God this maybe his opportunity to get closer
to God, because I've spokenwith unchurched men and they go
(29:38):
through it.
But at least for me I couldtalk to them, but it's only so
much I can do.
At some point you got to tap onthe source, the power, because
man, there's only so much thatman could do for you and you got
to really go back to the father.
So I think that's important foreven the unbeliever, as they're
watching us, to understand thatyeah, we go through stuff, but
(29:59):
we have an outlet to go to andto that father that on church,
you know, might as well, juststrive to get closer to Christ,
because this world alone willput a weight on you.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Absolutely.
I was going to say there'snothing really more to add to
that than other than the factseek out God.
Yeah, because I mean sure, sure, you have your, your, your own
other outlets in terms of youknow, fellas, who out there, who
that I'm speaking of?
The unchurched, they, they,they, you know they go through
it.
They may have them both.
(30:31):
They they're boys and man,let's, let's, let's, go hit the
club.
You know that's, yeah, but yeah, you gotta speak on it.
Yeah, that's right.
Let's go hit the bar.
(30:51):
Yeah, you know I think aboutall the time because you know
working with, you know where Iwork, you know everybody, there
is not a Christian or covenantwith God, and you know the
fellowship between them is man.
Let's go hit happy hour, youknow, let's, let's go.
You, you know, let's go to theestablishment where you, where
you, where you got somethingsliding up and down, yeah, yeah
but that's a real thing, yeah,and that is yeah, that's their
outlet yeah, you have some thatain't even doing, that you know
they.
they have legit secular thingsthat you know that they do.
(31:14):
Yeah, um, that that can bringsome, you know, some comfort and
some even some earthly wisdomto a certain standpoint.
But I would still again, aboveall that, recommend, you know,
to the church, seek out thatconnection with the father.
Yeah, god the father, becausethere are things that he can do
(31:34):
that all other things cannot do.
So definitely, and again goingback to that previous episode,
god the Father is the ultimatesource, you understand.
So you, as a father wounded,dealing with these wounds, trust
me, there's no better one to goto than God.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, amen.
So that's the conclusion, theend of this episode.
So y'all just gonna have tostay tuned to the next episode.
Until then, be blessed.
Remember that Christ, he iscoming back soon, so get ready
and be ready.
All right, god bless you.
Yeah, it's tough, and fathering while being wounded
at the same time.
You know I've said this to youbefore and I want to say it
again that when it comes towomen being wounded, they know
them, sisters, they know how toget together, they know how to
get together, they know how toexpress themselves and what
they're going through.
And you know this and I knowthis, that when it comes to men,
y'all.
So we're diving into part two.
(00:35):
Part two is the father's wound,or a father's wound or whatever
you want to call it thefather's wound, their father's
wounds.
Some have one wound and somehave many.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Listen, fathers be going through it.
Wound.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, so let's talk about it.
Let's talk about um.
Most fathers are broken um inour father and at the same time,
I wanted to talk about thatsituation Like what do you
believe fathers are goingthrough but at the same time,
have to be strong enough tofather at the same time?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
There's so much what's a good word so much
pressure, right, and I believe Isaid this before on one of the
previous shows that we have.
Chris Rock said something thatjust stays with me.
It just it just stays with meand I'm going to paraphrase it.
He said something to the effectthat, you know, only women,
(01:34):
children and pets are trulyloved and respected on this
planet.
It's like for a man, a husbandor a father.
There's so much pressurebecause if you mess up, you're
not even considered a man.
That woman can mess up.
She's still loved as a woman,whether it's a mother or wife,
whatever the case is.
And he's basically given like asocietal view of it.
You know, I'm not quoting himas if he's, you know, on the
(01:55):
same par with scripture oranything like that, but there's
a lot of truth to what he'ssaying.
There's a tremendous amount ofpressure being a father, because
you think of the ideals and theconcepts of.
You know, protection, provision.
You know, and if you don't dothose things, you yourself don't
feel like a man.
(02:17):
And what, what we findourselves in.
You know, thinking aboutpresent day, or you know
conditions and how things are.
There, things are.
There's so many men who didn'thave an example of how to
provide, how to protect.
But, you know, we get into therole of father and then those
(02:41):
wounds just compile because youcome face to face with real life
.
You made some choices now, buthere it is.
You're facing a lot of trialsand tribulations because I can't
afford this, and they'relooking at you as well.
You should be able to.
You're supposed to be theprovider.
You get what I'm saying, and alot of times we just, you know,
(03:03):
we look at certain things, butthat's all across the provider.
You get what I'm saying, and alot of times we just, you know,
we look at certain things, butthat's all across the board.
You're supposed to provide, youknow, financially.
You're supposed to providephysically, but you're also
supposed to provide spiritually,emotionally, mentally.
A lot of us, a lot of men,aren't even thinking in terms of
spiritually, mentally, you know, and psychologically, you
(03:27):
understand what I'm saying,right, and so trying to do that
and you yourself having thosewounds can really be a problem,
not just for the ones who didn'thave the example, but for the
ones who did have the example.
Do you get what I'm saying?
(03:49):
Wow, yeah, um, I can, I can, Ithink I can share this.
I remember, um, my father and Ihad we had a.
We had a really interesting,interesting relationship, of
course, when you, when you'reyoung and you're small and
whatnot.
You interesting relationship,of course, when you're young and
you're small and whatnot.
You know everything.
Daddy's the best.
You know my daddy can beat yourdaddy.
You know your daddy is the Hulk, your daddy is Superman.
(04:11):
All that, yeah, and everythingwas good.
I remember some of my earliestfond memories of my father is
when he would come in the door,you know acting, and he'd just
act like he didn't know I wasthere.
So he'd come in and my mom besitting in the chair, but not
(04:32):
not be like this.
He'll like telling her to bequiet or not.
And then he'll come in thehouse.
You're like, hmm, I wonderwhere he would call me spoke,
you know like that, yeah, andthen I just come running from
behind the door and then I runand he turned around and I leap
into the air and he just catchme and then you know, we just
that's, that's how I was in thebeginning.
(04:52):
Then, of course, you kind ofgrow up with that Growing up,
quite naturally, I want to belike my dad, I want to be like
him.
I just say dad is everything.
Then, you know, you get a littleolder and at that time he was
in the ministry and he answeredthe call and he started
traveling a lot more.
So he started to be gone a lot.
I was in my own ministry withthe group at the time called the
(05:17):
Four Christian Stars.
We started traveling.
So he's traveling and I'mtraveling, and so there'd be a
lot of time, you know, in myteen years, where we'd be
hitting and missing Right right,where we really didn't, and
there's a little bit of driftingjust from the standpoint of us
not seeing each other right.
There'd be times where it'dprobably be like a month before
(05:38):
we'd like really actually saweach other Right Right, like
he'd be gone off to do a gospelmeeting.
Each other Right Right, likehe'd be gone off to do a gospel
meeting.
And back in these days, nick,they were like actual gospel
meetings from Sunday to Friday,not this little Sunday to
Wednesday, mess.
Right, he'd be Sunday gonepreaching, right, and he'd be
coming back on Friday, but I'dbe leaving on Friday going to
(05:59):
sing somewhere, right, and thenI wouldn't be coming back on
Friday but I'd be leaving onFriday going to sing somewhere,
right, and then I wouldn't begetting back till Monday.
He'd be gone again, right,going to do another gospel
meeting, right, right, right,coming back on Friday, I'd be
going to another place on thatFriday, you know what I mean.
So there's a while there wherewe kind of drifted a little bit
(06:23):
you know nothing serious nothing, you know serious like we were
having issues with each other,just drifting because we
wouldn't see each other andreally the extent of our, our,
our relationship at that pointwas just phone calls.
He's like, hey, okay, spoke,you doing all right, all right.
(06:46):
Got older and we got backcloser again because you know,
I'm a man, I'm trying to do thisthing.
I got married, you know, andyou know we start learning some
things and I love thoseconversations towards towards
the end and of course you know,for those who know, my father
passed away in 2002.
(07:07):
So towards the end we startedhaving conversations like real
deep conversations, yeah, and Inthese conversations I would
learn about some of the things,his wounds that he had to carry,
(07:27):
but I didn't know it because Iwas a kid and you know, back
then, our parents, you know that, you know they, certain things,
you know they.
They just kept to themselves,especially men back then.
You know you're a man, youhandle it, and they kept those
things reserved and things ofthat nature.
And it's just good to havethese conversations.
Listen, I would encourageanybody you still have your
(07:50):
grandparents, your parents,living with you talk with them,
like, have deep conversations,not the you know, typical
high-bye and love you and allthat.
No, sit down and talk with themand learn you know typical high
by and love you and all that.
No, sit down and talk with themand learn you know about them.
So, yeah, there there were somethings that he disclosed in
those conversations that I was,that I wasn't necessarily privy
(08:11):
to.
Now, a lot of it they were.
They were you know and when Isay they, I'm talking about both
him and my mother.
They were, they felt at thetime, doing right by me and my
siblings because we werechildren and so some things they
would just hold and reserve,you know, kind of keep reserved
to themselves.
But learning about some of thosewounds helps you to kind of
(08:31):
look at them in a differentlight.
Because who is this?
This is my father, preacher,man of God.
You understand what I'm sayingand I'm like, okay, I'm like wow
, okay, dad, like you had tocarry that, you had to Wow, and
I mean you just have.
I know I certainly did a deeperappreciation for who he was and
(08:56):
what he did and so, yeah, Iwould certainly just bring that
out.
You know, when we talk about afather's wounds, it's not just
those who didn't have theexample.
And I got to be honest with youmy father, he didn't grow up
with his biological father, sohe, you know, he, he felt a lot
of you know those things and youknow I grew up with my father
(09:17):
so you know it was different forme, but him carrying those
wounds and sharing those,sharing that with me, like man,
wow, men of God, yeah, you knowwhat I'm saying.
They carry, you know, a lot ofthose wounds.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Yeah, it's tough fathering while being wounded at
the same time.
You know I've said this to youbefore and I'm going to say it
again that when it comes towomen being wounded, they know
them, sisters, they know how toget together, they know how to
get together, they know how toexpress themselves and what
they're going through.
And you know this and I knowthis that when it comes to men,
we build walls we don't want toshare with another brother or
(09:54):
what we may be going through,because that brother probably
going through the very samething.
But, man, like you said, we arebuilt and taught to be a certain
way, like be tough or man uplike don't be soft, you're not.
So if you hurting ball up, suckit up.
You know what I mean.
So those things even carry onto adulthood and then so, as an
(10:15):
adult, you know, even for myself.
So you know, I have my highsand my lows, and I'm going to
tell you.
I'm going to tell you this Ithink a lot of men don't want to
talk to another brother becausethey moments and our lows and
and some days are better thanothers.
But I think what helps me isbecause I have the foundation in
(10:47):
God.
But even though that you're aChristian, you still go through
stuff, you know.
I don't want to paint a picturelike, just because you're a
Christian, you're not going tobe wounded.
Just like your dad my dad, sinceI didn't grow up with my dad my
daddy came back in my worldbefore I got married I've
forgiven my dad um, currently my, my father and I are building.
So like he lost all of thoseyears.
(11:07):
He's 87 years old, so my thingis like as an adult, as an adult
man to have children Isometimes think about that stuff
like man, like what about mydaddy was in my life?
like I told my my dad recently.
I said like, hey, you know, Iwould love you, you know your
grandchildren and meet yourother son, but you know dad
(11:29):
being dad, you know dad's like.
He's not really making thatconnection and I'm talking to,
but again I've forgiven himbecause God would want me to do
that.
Now, what I would want, see tome.
I would really want to talk tohim in person.
I've had that opportunity.
Before my son was born.
I went to his country and Ivisited him and me and him
talked, but I went with my wife,so they really really talk like
(11:52):
that.
But it's some things that Iwant to talk to him on a
personal bit, like one-on-onewith my brother and I.
But it's not something thatgets to me, but it's a thought
that comes from time to time.
And I was like man, it wouldhave been kind of cool for me to
have my dad in my life and forhim to be around.
But I know there are a lot ofmen that's going through the
very same thing.
So, while they probably don'thave their dads in their life
(12:14):
and they be like, oh, he's adeadbeat, because mommy said
that he was a deadbeat, well, hemay not be the deadbeat.
Maybe your mom was saying badthings about him, because
there's women like that too.
They'd be like oh, your daddywas a deadbeat.
Now the dude has some kind ofanimosity and some hatred in his
heart.
But until he speaks to his dadhe'll really find out the truth.
But I think a lot of men gothrough that self-same thing too
.
But wounds could come invarious ways.
(12:37):
You could have psychologicalwounds.
You can have a wound ofproviding.
Some men are not confident.
Some men are making $10 an hourand they still trying to father
just the bare minimum, try toprovide for their little ones,
and they're like this is notenough.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
And you got the world Go ahead and I just want to
piggyback off what you're saying.
And you're immersed in a world,a society that places so much
emphasis on being a baller yeah,having a bag, yeah, yeah.
So here you are, waking upevery day and you know, you
listen to this radio show and Idon't need no broke man and he
(13:11):
can't do nothing.
And you know, we have a worldnow where women can go out there
and get it themselves.
You understand what I'm saying.
So there's a lot there, youknow, and here you are trying.
Right your hardest, yeah, and,and you know, some of them can't
even get a job.
You know, you said somethinginteresting, nick, that I kind
of want to touch on man, youknow, with this topic of, you
(13:35):
know, fathers with wounds,trying to be the provider,
trying to be the protector,trying to be the source, but
you're wounded, right.
You said a word, vulnerability,and that proves to be tough for
men in general, because I hopeI'm right with saying I believe
(13:59):
I am.
I think, by nature we'recreatures of power, we're
conquerors, right, like you seethat even in the physiological
makeup, most men are physicallystronger than women.
You know a man, you know we'rerepetitive, right.
That's why we, you know, wedominate in sports and things of
that nature and just, just justinnate and just in everything,
(14:20):
basically, and so we're walkingpower and I don't think and I'm
going to say everybody, not justwomen, but I think men, even
men ourselves we don'tunderstand the difficulty that
we have trying to harness and,for lack of a better term, term
(14:43):
tame and curve the power.
We have to do that every day,you, you get what I'm saying.
We have to do it on a dailybasis, and so concepts like
vulnerability and weakness,that's foreign to us.
Yeah, yeah, you get what I'msaying, right, that's why we so
easily fall into the man up,suck it up, man, you won't cry
(15:04):
this, that and the other.
And, and you know, you hear,like even now like I trust me, I
do believe this Like it's okayfor a man to cry, but even now,
when you hear something inside aman just be kind of cringing,
for a man to cry, you'd be like,yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay for
(15:25):
a man to cry, but I ain'ttrying to cry right now.
You know they're like, you knowthis it's just, it's just in us
, like so vulnerability and andthings of that nature.
Let me tell you something.
That's why, when you look atgood God, almighty man, let me
tell you something I am always,I will forever, be, amazed at
(15:50):
Christ God the son, yeah, goingthrough what he went through,
because not only is he a man,he's God.
Seriously, bro, like you, putyour hand on me one more time.
(16:11):
Like you know, I'm thinking,I'm like I can't.
It blows my mind because I'mlike, if that was me, it's over
for humanity.
It's over for humanity.
The angels ain't even got to doit.
I'm going.
If that was me, it's over forhumanity.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It's over for humanity.
The angels ain't even got to doit.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I'm going to do it, you know, but, but, but you know
, even in talking about that,right, because you know, and the
scripture talks about it, Paulsaid this you know, you know,
speaking of God, my, my strengthis made perfect through
weakness.
Right, that's something that wereally got to take a look at as
men.
When you talk about being afather with wounds and trying to
(16:48):
, you know, continue to walkthat path, wounded, right, take
a really good look at God.
And when I say God, I'm talkingabout God, the father and the
son.
There's not much in scripturethat talks about this, but think
about this.
I think about stuff like thiswhen Christ is on the cross and
(17:08):
he knew this, he knew what hehad to endure.
You talk about wounded.
Now, question who is he talkingto?
Who is Christ talking to?
(17:37):
Who's God the son talking to?
He's talking to watch it, hisfather.
Now, just let your mind think,for a second, scripture doesn't
give us much.
There's not much I can say onit, but I'm speculating here.
God the father.
I think there's a woundingthere.
(17:57):
So when we look at Christ andrightfully so look at him on the
cross.
He endured all of that.
Yes, he did.
But what is the father enduringwhile this is happening.
This is the only time and Ithink I can say this, this is
the only time that the fatherdoesn't come and do for his son
(18:19):
and talk about wounded right,because and the reason I think I
can say that is because I'mtrying to imagine myself If my
son falls down on the ground andhe got a scrape on his knee and
he reaching up for me, daddy,guess what daddy going to do?
He don't even have to reach upfor me.
I'm already there if I see itand I know it.
You understand what I'm saying.
When I was, you know, messing upand this, that and the other,
(18:42):
my father was right there.
Even when my father passedRight and I was messing up and
had some things on, mygrandfather was right there.
You know I had a major issue inmy life, you know, at the time,
after my father passed away,and the first thing out of my
grandfather's mouth you good, doyou need money?
I'm like no, granddaddy didn't,because, you know, granddaddy
(19:02):
was always my bank.
Granddaddy, let me hold $50.
Granddaddy, let me hold $50.
And so you know, I was goingthrough a major transition in my
life at the time and mygrandfather was like do you need
?
First of all, he wanted to know, was I good?
Did anybody anybody tried me?
(19:24):
I said, no, I'm good, I'm good.
He's like do you need money?
I said, uh, no, I'm all right.
Do you need money?
He's like, you know, I stillgot.
You know, he had property intampa and he was talking about
money, money, right, right, youknow, I mean, and I'm like, nah,
nah, granddaddy, I'll you know,I I made my bed, I'll handle it
, know.
But what I'm saying to you is afather and you know these, these
(19:46):
concepts that you can'tseparate from being a father.
Provision, you know protection,right, and you know those two
concepts my grandfather andfather instilled in me.
They, like you do that.
Those two things you don't getaway from.
You do that.
They were doing it.
Yeah, my point is they weredoing it.
It's in them, right, and anyman worth his worth, his salt is
(20:10):
in him to do that.
But here it is, god, the fatherdoesn't do it.
You're talking about wounds,yeah, looking at your son on the
cross, and you don't do it.
The passion of the Christ, melGibson, they sensationalized it,
but I really like there's thisone scene where Christ is on the
cross, he gives up the ghost,and then you just there's like a
(20:33):
like an aerial view of him, andthen you just see like a tear
fall from heaven, as if thefather let out.
I was like man.
That's a pretty good depiction.
Like I said, scripture don'treally go into that.
Yeah, but that's just mespeculating, right, right, right
.
I'm looking at to me theultimate father with a wound,
(20:54):
looking down at Calvary's cross.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
This is the reality, right.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
This is the reality, right?
The reality is that we'rehearing this word more and more
(21:17):
often.
Mental health um, there's a fewNBA players are starting to
come out and say, look, I got totake care of my mental, and
these are individuals that gotchildren.
You know what I mean.
So it's starting to come outmore now.
Like people are like people arebringing awareness to it.
Like it's okay, it's okay to gosee a counselor, it's OK to go
talk to somebody about yourunderlying issues or what you
(21:39):
may be going through, and youknow, hopefully the men in that
space get the help that theyneed.
But everybody go throughvarious different things and I
like what you said about thefinancial piece, because that's
what the society is pushing now.
Sure, like a woman would say,oh, he better be over six feet
(22:00):
and making six figures.
He could be a good dude.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
But tearing the dude down.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Let me tell you something Women.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
words are so powerful .
A woman could literally tear aman down with her words.
Oh yeah, you know, I don'tthink some women really
understand that A man.
He could be a decent dude justtrying Like I'm going to get it
together.
I'm going to get together andyou may have a woman that lack
discernment, lack the knowledgeand tear that dude down.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
The man already going through it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And he's not emotional.
Because you know, we're notlike we don't have emotions.
We have emotions but we're notat emotional like wow, women are
emotional, you know what I mean.
But the dude will kind of holdit in and then when it's time
for him to express himself, hemay express it in a different
kind of way.
It may come in a form of angergoing off on somebody because he
had that built-in stuff insideof him.
(22:52):
And that's the reality.
Yeah, where, going back to thebase of finances, a man he'd
be'd be like man.
I'm just trying to provide whatI can do for my child.
But to me finances is oneportion, but also another thing
is society has put so much on uswhere we don't even have the
time now to even father our ownchildren.
That thing weighs on a goodfather as well.
(23:13):
I can't tell like women.
Y'all hear me.
I know the dude gotta go outand provide, I know he gotta do
this and that, but a father, agood father, that's family
orientated, he's always thinkingabout his wife.
He's thinking, and he'sthinking about his children Like
man.
How can I find a way to spendtime with my children?
He's not thinking about oh, Igot to get this money, get this
money, get this money I providefor you.
(23:33):
He's thinking about like man,like I know I got to work but at
the same time I want to spendtime with my family, so that
could be scarring him internally.
It's not saying that it's a badthing that he's working.
It's just that.
He got to provide, he got toprovide.
So God has given me the grace,but I know there's other fathers
that could have other thingsgoing on, because you may have a
(23:54):
baby mother, that's you got topay child support.
Sure, he's a Good dude, I getit, I get it, I get it.
There are some dads that needto be put on child support.
I get it.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
But there's some dudes, fathers, that don't need
to be put on child support.
This really, it really.
It really shows how we all havea responsibility to mature with
our thinking and in terms ofour growth in these roles God
given, roles that we have, right?
So what am I really saying here?
What am I trying to get at?
There's a series aboutfatherhood, right?
(24:30):
So there's.
There's, there's a focus on men, fathers, so this series is
directed to them, so we need togrow and learn from this.
But where the blessing comesinto play is when the wife and
the mother grows from this too.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Baby mother, too, it may not bea wife.
(24:54):
When the son and the daughtergrows from this, too.
What am I saying?
This is a lesson directed tofathers for men, but mothers and
children should be listening toit too, I agree.
And then vice versa, yeah, whenthere's a series for the wife
and the mother, yeah, right,it's directed to them, but the
(25:16):
father and the husband need tobe listening too, and then we
all need to grow together inthis.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Right, it's directed to them,but the father needed and the
husband need to be listening to.
And then we all need to growtogether in this.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Right, like the maximum benefitfrom this lesson.
If this is a lesson directed tome, I receive it, I get it, I
implement it Cool.
But then my wife needs toreceive it, get it and implement
(25:39):
it.
But then my wife needs toreceive it, get it and implement
it Right.
And this all points to the ideaof community, these divine
structures that we'll put intoplay Husband, wife, children,
mother, father you get what I'msaying Children and when that
happens, then we can push backagainst some of that stuff you
were enumerating just a fewminutes ago.
Yeah, okay, we can push backagainst these of that stuff you
(26:01):
were enumerating just a fewminutes ago.
Yeah, okay, we can push backagainst these systems, right,
yeah, we can help the fatherwho's wounded.
Why?
Because in this situation, likeyou said, he's out there, he's
making the money, but him beinghomeless because of that is
really taking a toll.
Taking a toll, oh, yeah, ohyeah, oh yeah.
(26:24):
Taking the toll on the son andlike daddy, why you always
working?
Yeah, I want to.
I'm gonna hear.
You know what I mean.
It takes a toll, yeah, oh yeah,you know what I'm saying for
another situation, you knowwhere.
Listen, uh, this young man had ahad a child with this young
woman years ago.
Let's, uh, let's, let's, let'snot fall into the stereotypical
(26:45):
situation where he just that andhe did that and you make things
difficult.
Both of them make thingsdifficult, you know, and the
child suffers as a result.
What I'm saying, instead ofapproaching it in a godly manner
and let's work through this asbest we can, right, let's make
this amicable and spiritual asbest we can.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.
(27:06):
Whereas in another situation,the father who is wounded
because he physically, you know,or I shouldn't say physically,
financially is not measuring up.
You know, wife, help him, helpme.
A lot of these women is smarterin most cases, anyway, my wife
be helping me.
You know what I mean.
But I mean, you know, help him.
(27:26):
You know, don't talk about him,don't be like the rest of the
world and I do bad all by myself.
And then men who, that manwho's in that situation, don't
be so dogmatic that you can'treceive the help.
Hmm, you understand what I'msaying.
I'm telling you like from theman's standpoint again.
You know, and you knowhopefully we get blessed with
(27:49):
this Men.
You know we got to learn how tohandle this power.
Yeah, we're walking power.
We got to learn how to handleit.
We got to learn how to manageit.
You know we got to be able tomanipulate it.
You get what I'm saying.
You know why there's a lot ofdomestic.
You know stuff happening andabuse and things of that nature
is because a lot of men don'tknow how to handle the power.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
You get what I'm saying.
It's out of control.
We don't express enough.
When we do, it's an explosion.
That's not you handling thepower correctly.
You get what I'm saying.
So I mean all of this is, youknow, within the context of you
know, being wounded.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I like what you said.
I don't know if it was theprevious episode or this episode
We've just been talking but yousaid something.
You quoted a Bible verse mystrength is made perfect in time
of weakness.
And I know he was going throughwhat he was going through
spiritually.
And I think it's still apropos,even to us today, because we go
through stuff from a biblicalspiritual perspective, because
we're Christians, but noteverybody's Christians.
So at least for us, when we'rewounded or we're weak, we know
(28:53):
that God's strength manifests.
So when people be like man, howyou doing all of that?
Well, it's not really me.
It's really that God isempowering me to do these stuff,
but for most men that's notalways the case, especially the
men that are not in covenant.
So I think and maybe this is forthe man that's trying to get
closer to God, I could speak tothem in that regard that we have
(29:14):
an outlet because we'reChristians Because I'm not
trying to paint the picture likeChristians got it all perfect,
but at least we have an outlet,which is the Father.
You know, when we're weak, but Ithink for the unchurched or the
man, the Father that's not,don't have a connection or
relationship with God this maybe his opportunity to get closer
to God, because I've spokenwith unchurched men and they go
(29:38):
through it.
But at least for me I couldtalk to them, but it's only so
much I can do.
At some point you got to tap onthe source, the power, because
man, there's only so much thatman could do for you and you got
to really go back to the father.
So I think that's important foreven the unbeliever, as they're
watching us, to understand thatyeah, we go through stuff, but
(29:59):
we have an outlet to go to andto that father that on church,
you know, might as well, juststrive to get closer to Christ,
because this world alone willput a weight on you.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Absolutely.
I was going to say there'snothing really more to add to
that than other than the factseek out God.
Yeah, because I mean sure, sure, you have your, your, your own
other outlets in terms of youknow, fellas, who out there, who
that I'm speaking of?
The unchurched, they, they,they, you know they go through
it.
They may have them both.
(30:31):
They they're boys and man,let's, let's, let's, go hit the
club.
You know that's, yeah, but yeah, you gotta speak on it.
Yeah, that's right.
Let's go hit the bar.
(30:51):
Yeah, you know I think aboutall the time because you know
working with, you know where Iwork, you know everybody, there
is not a Christian or covenantwith God, and you know the
fellowship between them is man.
Let's go hit happy hour, youknow, let's, let's go.
You, you know, let's go to theestablishment where you, where
you, where you got somethingsliding up and down, yeah, yeah
but that's a real thing, yeah,and that is yeah, that's their
outlet yeah, you have some thatain't even doing, that you know
they.
they have legit secular thingsthat you know that they do.
(31:14):
Yeah, um, that that can bringsome, you know, some comfort and
some even some earthly wisdomto a certain standpoint.
But I would still again, aboveall that, recommend, you know,
to the church, seek out thatconnection with the father.
Yeah, god the father, becausethere are things that he can do
(31:34):
that all other things cannot do.
So definitely, and again goingback to that previous episode,
god the Father is the ultimatesource, you understand.
So you, as a father wounded,dealing with these wounds, trust
me, there's no better one to goto than God.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, amen.
So that's the conclusion, theend of this episode.
So y'all just gonna have tostay tuned to the next episode.
Until then, be blessed.
Remember that Christ, he iscoming back soon, so get ready
and be ready.
All right, god bless you.
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