June 16, 2025 • 44 mins
In this episode of the Called by God podcast, hosts Nic and RJ Dexter talked about responsibilities of fatherhood, particularly in guiding children towards a relationship with Jesus. They share personal stories of their own upbringings, the challenges of modern parenting, and the importance of living out one's faith as an example for children. The conversation emphasizes the need for vulnerability, the significance of speaking life into children, and practical tips for fathers to instill spiritual values in their families.
Social Media/Follow Us:
Website:https://www.calledbygodpodcast.com/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/cbg.podcast/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CalledbyGodPod
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calledbygodpodcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
welcome to the call by god podcast.
I'm your host uh brother nick,and I'm here with he's not a
special guest, you're like afriend family to the show
brother daryl daryl smith.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Daryl smith and honored to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Yes, yes so we're just gonna get right into.
Let's get, because it's been awhile since you've been on the
show and, uh, you know, wheneveryou get on the show it's always
gonna be powerful, becauseyou're a true man of god.
You're a true man of god, y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
He know the deep things of god so that's a really
nice way of him saying I talktoo much.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
But, on a serious note, we know it's like Father's
Day month and I wanted to Idon't know, like I was on my way
Quick story.
You know I say these quickstories sometimes, yeah, yeah,
yeah, I'm driving on the roadand I'm like man, you know, I be
seeing on social media like howsisters they always talking to
each other and how always theyget their breakthroughs, and I
said, but man, we build thesewalls.
(01:06):
Oh yeah, we don't, we don'tchat like that.
Especially.
I wanted to take an aim atfathers, especially men, that
that you know, there are a lotof good men.
I I believe that they're menthat genuinely love their
children, but there's also a lotof debbies.
But I'm not talking to thedebbies.
Maybe some of this might bringawareness to some of the dudes
that not doing their part.
But I said, man, how cool itwould be to uh create an episode
(01:29):
about fatherhood, for sure,yeah, so so that's kind of like
where we're at now.
And you know I had to do alittle research because I said,
man, what is a father?
you know, nowadays, you,nowadays, you gotta, you gotta
look in the dictionary aboutwhat a meaning is, because you
know all this.
You know, everybody's educatednow all this stuff is going on.
So I looked at a websterdictionary and it says a father
(01:49):
is simply a male parent.
You know, nowadays you got likesame-sex parents.
That's what I meant.
Like sometimes you gotta reallylook up the definition of a
thing for sure, before youactually put it out there yeah
so when I, when we talk about afather, I'm not talking about
the rainbow people listen, weequivocally amen we talking
(02:10):
about a father?
yes, sir and then when I saidlike wow, a male parent, and
that's what led me to look atanother, a bible verse, I'm like
man, what do we first see onfather?
And it's in Genesis, chaptertwo.
Come on Verse 24,.
It says therefore, a man shallleave his father and his mother
house and hold fast to his wife,and they shall become one flesh
(02:33):
.
Yeah, yeah, I'm like wow,that's very interesting, like
how that's the first part whereyou see a father.
We know that God is theultimate father.
Capital F.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm talking about little F fathers, for sure F.
I'm talking about little Ffathers.
I'm like man.
What did fatherhood?
So God says back in Genesis 2,a male should leave his mother
and father house.
So that took me.
That's the covenant of marriage.
At one point, the son willleave and cleave to his wife.
So that's what I wanted to talkabout when you found out that
(03:02):
you was going to be a dad.
I want to hear your thoughtprocess behind that.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Well, this one is a good one for me, nick.
As you know, we've shared thisstory countless times with each
other because I happened to beblessed to be a father before
brother Nick, and I can remembersharing with him the joy of
becoming a dad right, becoming afather.
But I'll tell you of becoming adad, right, becoming a father.
(03:25):
But I'll tell you tremendousamount of joy when I found out
that I was becoming a father.
Excitement, but then also alittle bit of anxiety, because
you come face to face with youknow, what does it really mean
to be a father?
Yeah, right, and you know.
Thank God, I didn't have anyissues with knowing whether or
not I was a male or not, but youknow things like being able to
(03:47):
provide and to protect.
You know and to teach, you know, instill.
Am I really ready for this,especially in a world where you
know the idea of a father, theconcept of a father, and you
know what a father is, who he isand what he does, gets lost,
(04:11):
right?
We don't have many examples ofwhat a father is supposed to be,
what a father is supposed to do.
So I was feeling a myriad ofyou know feelings, yeah, but for
the most part positive, right.
And it took me, obviously, tothe scriptures and you know, I
started to do a, a little studyand I and I have to tell you one
of the things that just stoodme to be what he is he gives me
the blessing and the opportunityto be a father, right, right.
(04:35):
And when you look at God, thefather, he's the source.
All life comes from him,everything comes from him,
(05:11):
everything is dependent upon him, right.
And so here it is me being afather.
I have to step into that roleand I think a lot of times
fathers you know a lot of us menwe don't necessarily understand
that, we weren't shown that, weweren't taught that, didn't see
it, but I now need to step intothat role.
So, this son, this daughterthat God has blessed me with,
(05:36):
you know, when they look at me,do they see me as the source,
you know, in their lives, andwhat I mean by that is, you know
, me stepping into that role ofbeing a father.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
God is, god is the ultimate.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
God is the ultimate source but?
But I need to make sure that Iam in position to be the source
for my son, for my children, tobe the provider for my children.
You get what I'm saying, andand that that tends to get a
little tough in the world thatwe live in today, right, where
you have systems and things inplay that push against that.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah, I like that you coming from.
Obviously, I believe you had astrong foundation growing up
with a dad.
I'm sure that played a key rolein preparing you for fatherhood.
Yes, because your dad, heraised you guys away.
You know he was man of God.
Yes, and so for me it was alittle bit different.
So I know the question I pose.
(06:34):
You know how did it feel, youknow, first time, hearing that I
became a father?
Well, let me go way back beforeI became a Christian, and,
although I'm ashamed of what I'mabout to say, but thank God for
deliverance, but I just want tobe open to somebody that's not
spiritually inclined or somebodythat's not in the church, I
wanted this episode to berelevant to them as well.
(06:54):
And I remember, before I obeyedthe gospel many years ago, when
I was out there partying, I'vegotten different women pregnant
and I will never forget when Imet this girl and then she was
like hey, you know I want totalk to you about something,
what you want to talk to meabout.
You know you young, you're inyour twenties, you know you're
not thinking about fatherhoodlike that, especially like if
(07:15):
you was raised in an environmentwithout a dad.
Yeah, so mom had to play mommyand daddy, but a mom can't
really teach a young man how tobe a man, right.
So then you get the streets.
You know, when you step out inthe street you got older men
that's telling you hey, man, youknow you can't settle for one
girl, so it's.
It's always.
That's that cycle.
So I will never forget this.
(07:35):
When this girl told me she'slike, I won't let you know I'm
pregnant I'm like it wasn'texcitement, right, it was like
abortion.
Yeah.
So this is a real and I'm surethis is something that's ongoing
where a woman will tell a youngman or even an older man like,
(07:56):
hey, you know I'm expecting.
Sure, this is what the dudeswill tell.
Most dudes will tell the womanDo what you got to do.
They don't want to say thatword abortion.
Most of is not gonna say thatword abortion.
Right, but these down in theirheart, like man, do what you
gotta do, because what we thinkabout, like child support man,
I'm gonna be locked down to thisfemale the responsibility of it
(08:17):
yeah you know, being a provider, yeah, in the source, yeah,
right, yeah, and, and and.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I, you know we all come to that moment in time,
yeah, and, like I said, and likeyou were saying there, I mean,
we're in a culture right nowwhere you know, you, you have
some brothers who would just,who don't mind saying the word
yeah you know, hey, get rid ofthe child, get rid of it.
Yeah, you know, abort it, yeah.
Terminate the pregnancy yeah,so yeah, for sure yeah, so that
was a real thing.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So that's the first time that happened to me and it
was.
It was the weirdest thingbecause this was like a real
good girl.
She had like a good thing goingfor herself, got a career, but
her parents are like, don't messwith that dude.
Like this dude is not, he don'tgot nothing going with his
first self.
So apparently they aborted thebaby.
So, um, you know, sad to say,um, in the past I ended up
getting like probably five orsix different women pregnant.
(09:03):
I just lost count.
Um, I'm not excited saying that, but those are things that I,
you know, looking, looking nowin present day, like man, like
wow god, like ungodly mindset.
I wasn't thinking properly.
So now I'm like, hey, whenpeople talk about abortion, I'd
be like not on board that baby,keep that baby, because you know
god is about life and the enemy, you know, know, we know he
(09:24):
comes to kill, stay and destroy.
So the first time I ever heardthat, you know, a woman told me
she was expecting.
It was numerous times before Igot baptized.
And back then I was likeexcited because you tell your
homeboy yeah, man, she got ridof the baby, she prayed it.
You, young and dumb.
You're not really right, but asyou age you mature.
(09:47):
You like I would have had likesix, seven kids.
You know what I mean.
Like sure, my seed.
You know what I mean, right.
So but fast forward.
When god delivered me, I got.
God knocked some sense into me.
Godly wisdom, um, yeah, godknocked some sense into me.
Thank god for that yes, you know, and, um, when I got saved, I
got married three years laterand then, um, god blessed my
wife and I.
Well, we had, I had a childalready, but god blessed me with
two children, daughter and um,a son and man.
(10:11):
The first time I like man,especially like my son.
I started reading books, yeah,but, like you said, there's no
blueprint, so it's kind of like.
So, when you got these authorswriting about fatherhood, they
just pretty much talking abouttheir experience.
Sure, you know, but I think thebest father is really what you
see in scripture, which is Godhimself.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I got to tell you I certainly appreciate your
testimony because I believethat's going to be impactful and
helpful to a lot of men whowent through the same thing.
Yeah Right, it's, you know it's.
Sometimes it misses the markwhen they hear you know a
testimony like mine, because Igrew up with a father and so
(10:54):
many did not, and you knowyou're basically trial and error
at that point.
You are basically a product ofwhat you see.
You know growing up, seeing,growing up, hearing what you're
exposed to you nine times out of10, you're going to duplicate
that.
You're going to replicate that.
I can say this and I believethis with my whole heart, and
this really goes to theimportance of having a father
and being a father.
(11:14):
If I didn't have a father in mylife, I really honestly think
and I think I can say this and Isay this with a great deal of
confidence I don't think that Iwould be alive.
I think that I would either bein the grave or in somebody's
jail rotting away.
I would either be in the graveor in somebody's jail rotting
away.
I really do, and you know it'sjust a test.
It's just such a great thing tohear your testimony, how God
(11:37):
brought you out of that.
Yeah Praise.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
God yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And I love it because you know, a lot of times, you
know, we tend to hear thingslike that and people, especially
those you know kind of quoteunquote, grow up in a church,
they'll kind of shy away fromthat and, like you know,
abortion and things of thatnature, and people have to
understand.
No, this is real, you know, andthis happens more than people
think Right, and so it's good tohear that testimony and to see
(12:07):
how God brought you from thatRight.
So you told us four or fivepregnancies, basically four or
five could be more.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
It's been years for four or five terminations.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Okay, but God still loved you that part and blessed
you enough to have your own andyou get to experience what it is
and what it means to be afather.
You can't tell me, see, that'show beautiful and that's how
awesome a father is, because Godis, and that's why I said in my
(12:44):
studies it was so interestingand I still deal with it,
wrestle with it, you know,meditate on it, look at it.
I'm like this is the supremebeing.
He doesn't need anything,ontologically speaking, right,
(13:05):
he's self-sufficient,self-sustaining.
What's the like?
Why are you revealing us?
Why are you revealing yourselfto us in this way as father?
Right, I'm still wrestling withit.
You know I'm still, you know Istill I'm, I'm, I'm prayerful
and you know, you know,confident that the Holy Spirit
(13:27):
will continue to lead me down apath that brings greater
understanding to that.
But I'm like, why, why, why didyou come to us as a father?
Why, why do you reveal yourselfas a father?
So you know, I love talkingabout the subject becoming a
father.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
But I would.
I would say this too, docthere's women that have
abortions and they never consultthe guy.
Like they, never like they,they like.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
There's women that have abortions and they never
consult the guy like they neverlike they.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
They like there's women, the women that had their
like.
Some of them lost the baby,some of them had abortion in my
experience, but the ones thatare abortions not.
They never consulted with melike, hey, you know, even though
, like, they tell me they'repregnant, I said, hey, do what
you want to do.
Like it never said like I'mgonna do it.
Do you consent?
Is it okay for me to abort?
Because there's a lot of menthat's probably dealing with it
even now, because a woman thatabort the baby and they never
(14:12):
told the woman to abort the baby.
That's also a real thing aswell.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
For sure.
Yeah, that's all part of thechaos that I would say, you know
, listen, abortion, that'sultimately, you know, the devils
and the demons their plan,devils and the demons, their
plan.
Because, as you, you know,stated earlier so eloquently,
god is life, that's that's,that's, that's who and what he
is, he's life, he's love, he'slife, all the life is sourced
(14:39):
from him, right, and so, youknow, when you think about the
idea of death, or de-creation,if you will, if that makes sense
, Right, first thing we see Goddoing is creating.
In the beginning, god createdlife, right, and so what is the
(15:00):
antithesis to that?
Death?
Right, and abortion falls intothat.
And, and you know cause, it'sinteresting.
Cause, you know, I, you know, asan educator, I, you know,
sometimes this, this topic, willcome up with my students, right
, and we'll, you know, and quitenaturally, we always have, you
know, we have some on both sides, whether they're for abortion,
(15:22):
against abortion.
And you know, I, just lately,I've been really getting at them
to understand what really isabortion.
Let's, let's, let's call itwhat it is, because sometimes
we'll come up with these termsabortion, well, that sounds so
medical.
You kind of take away the valueof it.
What is it really?
It's killing, it's death.
(15:43):
I mean, if we really want to getdown to the bare essence of it,
what is abortion?
It's killing, it's death,that's what it is Okay.
But yeah, you're absolutelyright, there are situations
where the man, or the father inthat case, was not consulted,
was not told.
And again, I certainly wouldsay to that that's all part of
(16:03):
the chaos and ultimately,spiritually speaking, from that
spiritual warfare standpoint,that's what the devil and them.
You know, spiritually speaking,from that spiritual warfare,
warfare standpoint, yeah, that'swhat the devil in them, demons
won't.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, the men, that understands.
You know what it means to be afather, or upcoming father, like
you said, like when you areconnected with God, and even if
a man is ungodly because Ibelieve that there are men out
there, that's that's not in thechurch but they still love their
children For sure.
That's something that is hardto explain, because this being,
whether or not it's a daughteror a son, came from you.
(16:36):
Right, because we carry theseed.
Yes, the only thing the womanis doing is carrying the baby.
Sorry sisters, sorry women,sorry sisters.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Listen, let me tell you you don't have to apologize
to them.
Listen, Listen, let me tell youyou don't have to apologize to
them, listen them, children,love they mamas, you know.
Mother's Day.
But you know, mother's Day, beon and popping, you know what
I'm saying.
They taking mama out to youknow, to the finest restaurant,
when.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Father's Day come, we gonna die.
Yeah, you know scientifically.
Yeah, we carry, carry the seeds.
Going back to the question, sowhen I heard, when my wife said,
like hey, I'm expecting, it wasamazing to me, like to see the,
especially, as you know, you gosee the ultrasound.
Yeah, you know, you see thatlittle nugget.
Yes, sir see it how it evolveand grow over time.
(17:26):
And as it continues to grow,you start to see it move.
Right, it evolve and grow overtime and as it continues to grow
, you start to see it move.
And to me it's just amazing,like I started to think about
God.
I know God was blessing me witha baby yes, sir, but I'm like
God.
How you allow another humanbeing to birth another human
being?
How about that?
Like there's a living beinginside, yes, moving, and on top
(17:51):
of that, you know my wife and I,we used to sing.
You know, I'm not the bestsinger, like I'm not a good
singer, I'm just making a joyfulnoise.
I mean, obviously you were thesinger as long as it's joyful
but I was making a joyful noiseand playing gospel songs and you
could just see the movementlike as though he was worshiping
in there, and to me that waslike a beautiful thing for me to
see, at least at the time as anupcoming father, and that
experience that I have.
I would love for every father,upcoming father to experience
(18:13):
that.
Not doing what I did in thepast, like do whatever you want
to do with the baby or not, evenif a sister's watching this not
aborting the child, becausethere are some sisters that
abort the child and they couldnever have a baby again.
There's situations like thattoo.
But that feeling that I felt inthis is, and it's like once
that child is birthed, the joy,yes, the love.
(18:36):
Yes, it's hard to explain ifyou're, if you're not, a father,
it's hard to explain thatbecause, dude, be like man, what
the dude talking about?
I don't got no kids right, butwhen you, when that baby come
out, for sure, like man, I lovelittle man, I love my daughter
for sure, that's thatunconditional love, yes yes, I
mean there's, there's.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I'll liken it to this there's, there's.
It's almost as if and so let mebe careful how I'm say this
it's, it's, it's love withoutconstraint like there's.
It's really hard to put intowords and that's why I believe
it is such a blessing, becauseI'll give it to you this way my
(19:21):
son and I we've always had thisthing when we were growing up,
when he was able to talk, and wewere always hanging out and I'm
always playing with him, yeah,hugging on him, kissing on him,
you know, wrestling with him,you know all that.
And just take a moment, I'd belike you know, daddy loves you,
right?
And so we would have this thingwhere we go back and forth.
(19:42):
He's like, yeah, daddy, but Ilove you more and I'll be like
nah son dada loves you more, andso we.
We had this thing where we keepgoing back and forth, and so we
would just, like you know, justjust make up stuff.
He'd be like daddy, I loved you, I love you more.
I've been loving you for, youknow, uh, 10 years, and he
(20:05):
wasn't even 10 yet.
I'm like son, I loved youbefore you even formed in your
mother's womb.
It's like I saw you when I wasyoung.
I saw you by faith, yeah, and Ihad to explain to him like I
saw you, so that I loves youmore.
He'd be like daddy, I loved youbefore time started.
(20:27):
We go back and forth, forth,right, and it's such a beautiful
, a wonderful thing yeah youknow, and the reason I say love
without constraint is because Ican't even there's.
It's hard for me to even fathom,to put this in mind, to process
it, to compute it like there'snothing that I wouldn't do for
(20:50):
him, do you understand?
He could, god forbid, he couldbecome the worst person on earth
.
He could become worse, worsethan hitler, the most vile
person you can think of.
I still love him.
I still love him because he'smy son.
That's your son, came from me,yeah and this is such a
beautiful thing like it's.
It's such an, it's such anawesome topic, and I think this
(21:13):
kind of helps me get closer toyou.
Know why God will revealhimself as a father?
Yeah, because I mean, it's afeeling that's indescribable and
it's hard to articulate.
My love has no limits when itcomes to him, and I'm loving him
as a father.
What am I saying?
I'm loving him as the source,just like God loves us as the
(21:33):
source.
I'm loving him as a provider,just as God loves us as the
ultimate provider.
You get what I'm saying.
It's almost as if God says Iwill allow you to experience
this.
That's a blessing.
You understand what I'm saying.
Experience this, that's ablessing.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
That's a blessing.
What an awesome blessing it is.
(21:54):
God made us in his image.
When I look at my son, he is inmy image.
When people looked at me, I wasin my father's image.
That's why they're like oh man,you look like your dad.
They used to call my dad Pete,and so when I was born, like you
, you look like your dad.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
They used to call my dad pete, and so when I was born
they ended up calling me repeat, but that's why you get the
name repeat yeah, I waswondering about that and it's
like you know, it's such awonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And that's why I said your testimony is so awesome,
because, even though, becauseyou, you know, you started out
by saying you know I'm not proudto say this, right, but even
with that, god says I'm going tobless you to experience what I
experienced.
Still, you get what I'm sayingRight, right, right, what an
(22:42):
awesome.
The scripture says this youknow what is man, that thou art
mindful of him?
Right, think about it now.
I mean, and I, I don't want to,you know we, we know the
biblical story, we know thereality.
God created man.
Man falls right, but look atwhat god did to redeem man, to
(23:06):
bring man back to him.
Right, that shows you and ittells you the magnitude of his
love.
That's limitless love.
Right, and here it is.
He blesses you and I and otherfathers alike, to feel that, to
experience that.
I would die for my son, I woulddie for my children, and I know
(23:30):
you would too.
Oh yeah, guess what God didpreaching the gospel, right yeah
but, but I, but again, you know, I think it's important that we
have this conversation becauseyou know the devil and all
enemies of the cross, they'vebeen trying to take that away
from us, from men, and so you'llhave male factors, fathers to
(23:54):
be who can easily just what youpregnant man, terminate that
pregnancy?
Yeah right, because they didn'thave a father, they didn't
experience this, right.
So how can they know?
You understand?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
but let me say this though, because, um, it helped
me to, because you know I'll beremiss if I didn't bring this up
god allowed me to experience myson, but also he also blessed
me with a daughter that I loveis equally as my son.
Yeah, and going back, althoughI seen the process with my son,
I didn't see that same processwith my daughter.
(24:29):
My daughter got in my life whenI was like, when she was seven
years old.
So you know we talk aboutfatherhood, father, male parent.
Now I'm married.
Now you know her mother was asingle mother at that time.
I'm married.
So when I married, mom became afather like he needs to be a
father like right.
(24:50):
You know, started reading booksand talking to wise men in the
church.
Hey, you know what I mean.
Like, how do I?
You know what I mean?
Because I went from beingsingle yeah, think about it like
I, I left my parents house late.
You know all my other brothers,they had their own family, sure
, and then so I was the last onein line, like, like I said, I
had got a different womanpregnant.
(25:11):
But one of the greatest fears,like man, she's not my wife like
just get rid of it or theyeither lost the baby.
But now here I am yeah,marriage.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Father Right Just thrown to the fire.
Yeah, like I was thrown in thefire like that.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
So me and her, over time we built our relationship,
knowing how to father Because Iwanted so.
When God blessed me with her, Iwanted to be that father to her
that I never had, because mymother had eight children.
Daddy wasn't in the home.
When I seen her I saideverything that I wanted my
(25:47):
parents to do is not that theydidn't want to do, is that they
couldn't afford it.
Sure, I said I want to do toher all the greater things in
life.
Number one I wanted to teachher.
Well, we're going to get tothat part.
Teach her about a Lord, but whenit comes to being there for her
sitting down with her andteaching her life lessons.
I wanted to be there for her.
(26:08):
I wanted to be the person thathugged her whenever she needed a
hug.
I wanted to be the father thatshe could talk to about anything
.
She don't have to hold thingsup or talk to her friends or
whatever's going on through hermind.
I wanted to be there to praywith her and pray for her.
As a father, early on in mymarriage, I was the one that was
like in the circle before we goto bed and we'll pray to let
(26:31):
her know like, hey, I'm here foryou.
And that was an interestingexperience and I thank God.
And even to this day, like Ihave a wonderful relationship
with her God, and even to thisday, like I have a wonderful
relationship with her.
And it was, it's funny,interesting enough, that when my
wife was pregnant with my son,at the time my wife thought that
I would favor my son because hewas part of me, came from me.
I said Trina, you, you justdon't know the heart that I have
(26:53):
towards God, cause you know,once you're adopted into God's
family, there's no favoritism.
You're all equal, equal right.
The first shall be last or thelast shall be first right.
So when it came to him, when hewas born, although the love
that I have for him, I had theequal amount of love for her and
it's, it's still like that tothis day.
No favor to my wife would tellme she was like yeah, nick, you
(27:13):
was right, you treat both in thesame way.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I can't even tell the difference I think that's
awesome that you brought that up, because you know, dealing with
the reality of our world, youknow we have blended mixed
families.
Yes, that's becoming the normnow.
Basically, yes, you know with,you know life, you know, as we
say in our day and time now lifebe lifin'.
So you have these blendedfamilies now and certainly I
(27:38):
think that's a great point thatyou bring up.
In terms of adoption, a lot oftimes you're just thrust in a
situation where you know youhave children.
You met this woman and she's gottwo, you got one and, however,
that's gonna work yeah you know,and there's the potential there
(27:59):
for a whole lot of chaotic typeof things to happen.
You know jealousy and you knowfavoritism and things of that
nature.
And just being, you know, aChristian man, father, husband
for the woman, wife, mother,things of that nature, children,
siblings.
You know you're trying tostrive.
Listen, we have to learn how tonavigate through through those
(28:23):
types of things and situationsnow, and the thing that I point
to is the fact that you know,god had a chosen people, yeah,
but then christ came and diedfor the world yes, sir, brought
them gentiles on in yeah, yeah,yeah those other religions I've
(28:43):
seen yeah, yeah, yeah, brought,brought everybody back, yeah,
but, but again, here's why Istarted the way I did in terms
of god revealing himself asfather.
Right, because ultimately we allbelong to god.
Right, it was just through thefall, you know, god decided okay
(29:04):
, mankind, you keep messing up,then I will give you over to
these other gods.
And that's why and I know this,this ain't a, you know, a
spiritual lineage class whereyou know I have to take you
through the whole old Testamentand tell you exactly what
happened.
But you know, I think that'sgood to know, good to know.
God basically disowned humanityand he chose his people.
(29:24):
That's why he goes and he findsAbraham.
After the Tower of Babel event Iwas basically the last straw
God says okay, you don't want meto be your God, then you go
ahead and let the other godshave you, and so, legally you
know what I mean we belong toother gods and these other gods
at that time were in fellowshipwith God, right, and so that's
(29:45):
why you have the Old Testamentplay out the way it does,
because you know those othergods basically fell away.
That's why you got the childrenof Israel fighting the
Amalekites, the Canaanites andthe Jebusites and all of these
other nations, and I'm like, youknow, wow, that's pretty
interesting.
God disowned humanity, yeah.
Then he chose his own peoplethrough Abraham, the Hebrew
(30:07):
nation, yeah.
Israelites, right, yeah.
And so now here comes God, amenand Jesus Christ.
He comes on the scene and hebrings us all back, and now we
have spirit of adoption, right.
So so we look at that and wesee how God loves us.
(30:28):
Christ didn't just die for theJew, he died for everybody, and
so now all of us are sons anddaughters of God, right, and so
we need to take that approachwhen we find ourselves in these
blended, you know, familysituations, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
That's good, cause I I really wanted to bring that up
Cause, like you said, we livein a time where folks having
kids you know what I mean andthen you know you happen to meet
a God friend woman or a Godfriend man and they meet and
like, hey, I got two, yeah, Igot three.
Well, let's make it work, worknow.
The issue is now are you gonnashow favoritism?
(31:04):
Are you gonna buy so-and-solunch?
And you know what I?
Speaker 2 (31:05):
mean and listen, it's , it's, it's, uh, it's all a
growing learning process yeah,right even with you know
families who are not blended.
You your natural biologicalfamilies that's still a growing
process, right, right, you know,right, like you know my seed,
who came from me.
That's still a growing process.
I'm learning, right, right, youknow, and I thank god, you know
, for his patience and you knowmy patience with you know, we
(31:29):
have all.
We just have patience with eachother, yeah, but we just got to
, you know.
Allow god to lead us inwhatever situation we find
ourselves so, uh, yeah, y'allstay tuned for the next episode.
welcome to the call by god podcast.
I'm your host uh brother nick,and I'm here with he's not a
special guest, you're like afriend family to the show
brother daryl daryl smith.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Daryl smith and honored to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Yes, yes so we're just gonna get right into.
Let's get, because it's been awhile since you've been on the
show and, uh, you know, wheneveryou get on the show it's always
gonna be powerful, becauseyou're a true man of god.
You're a true man of god, y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
He know the deep things of god so that's a really
nice way of him saying I talktoo much.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
But, on a serious note, we know it's like Father's
Day month and I wanted to Idon't know, like I was on my way
Quick story.
You know I say these quickstories sometimes, yeah, yeah,
yeah, I'm driving on the roadand I'm like man, you know, I be
seeing on social media like howsisters they always talking to
each other and how always theyget their breakthroughs, and I
said, but man, we build thesewalls.
(01:06):
Oh yeah, we don't, we don'tchat like that.
Especially.
I wanted to take an aim atfathers, especially men, that
that you know, there are a lotof good men.
I I believe that they're menthat genuinely love their
children, but there's also a lotof debbies.
But I'm not talking to thedebbies.
Maybe some of this might bringawareness to some of the dudes
that not doing their part.
But I said, man, how cool itwould be to uh create an episode
(01:29):
about fatherhood, for sure,yeah, so so that's kind of like
where we're at now.
And you know I had to do alittle research because I said,
man, what is a father?
you know, nowadays, you,nowadays, you gotta, you gotta
look in the dictionary aboutwhat a meaning is, because you
know all this.
You know, everybody's educatednow all this stuff is going on.
So I looked at a websterdictionary and it says a father
(01:49):
is simply a male parent.
You know, nowadays you got likesame-sex parents.
That's what I meant.
Like sometimes you gotta reallylook up the definition of a
thing for sure, before youactually put it out there yeah
so when I, when we talk about afather, I'm not talking about
the rainbow people listen, weequivocally amen we talking
(02:10):
about a father?
yes, sir and then when I saidlike wow, a male parent, and
that's what led me to look atanother, a bible verse, I'm like
man, what do we first see onfather?
And it's in Genesis, chaptertwo.
Come on Verse 24,.
It says therefore, a man shallleave his father and his mother
house and hold fast to his wife,and they shall become one flesh
(02:33):
.
Yeah, yeah, I'm like wow,that's very interesting, like
how that's the first part whereyou see a father.
We know that God is theultimate father.
Capital F.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I'm talking about little F fathers, for sure F.
I'm talking about little Ffathers.
I'm like man.
What did fatherhood?
So God says back in Genesis 2,a male should leave his mother
and father house.
So that took me.
That's the covenant of marriage.
At one point, the son willleave and cleave to his wife.
So that's what I wanted to talkabout when you found out that
(03:02):
you was going to be a dad.
I want to hear your thoughtprocess behind that.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Well, this one is a good one for me, nick.
As you know, we've shared thisstory countless times with each
other because I happened to beblessed to be a father before
brother Nick, and I can remembersharing with him the joy of
becoming a dad right, becoming afather.
But I'll tell you of becoming adad, right, becoming a father.
(03:25):
But I'll tell you tremendousamount of joy when I found out
that I was becoming a father.
Excitement, but then also alittle bit of anxiety, because
you come face to face with youknow, what does it really mean
to be a father?
Yeah, right, and you know.
Thank God, I didn't have anyissues with knowing whether or
not I was a male or not, but youknow things like being able to
(03:47):
provide and to protect.
You know and to teach, you know, instill.
Am I really ready for this,especially in a world where you
know the idea of a father, theconcept of a father, and you
know what a father is, who he isand what he does, gets lost,
(04:11):
right?
We don't have many examples ofwhat a father is supposed to be,
what a father is supposed to do.
So I was feeling a myriad ofyou know feelings, yeah, but for
the most part positive, right.
And it took me, obviously, tothe scriptures and you know, I
started to do a, a little studyand I and I have to tell you one
of the things that just stoodme to be what he is he gives me
the blessing and the opportunityto be a father, right, right.
(04:35):
And when you look at God, thefather, he's the source.
All life comes from him,everything comes from him,
(05:11):
everything is dependent upon him, right.
And so here it is me being afather.
I have to step into that roleand I think a lot of times
fathers you know a lot of us menwe don't necessarily understand
that, we weren't shown that, weweren't taught that, didn't see
it, but I now need to step intothat role.
So, this son, this daughterthat God has blessed me with,
(05:36):
you know, when they look at me,do they see me as the source,
you know, in their lives, andwhat I mean by that is, you know
, me stepping into that role ofbeing a father.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
God is, god is the ultimate.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
God is the ultimate source but?
But I need to make sure that Iam in position to be the source
for my son, for my children, tobe the provider for my children.
You get what I'm saying, andand that that tends to get a
little tough in the world thatwe live in today, right, where
you have systems and things inplay that push against that.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah, I like that you coming from.
Obviously, I believe you had astrong foundation growing up
with a dad.
I'm sure that played a key rolein preparing you for fatherhood.
Yes, because your dad, heraised you guys away.
You know he was man of God.
Yes, and so for me it was alittle bit different.
So I know the question I pose.
(06:34):
You know how did it feel, youknow, first time, hearing that I
became a father?
Well, let me go way back beforeI became a Christian, and,
although I'm ashamed of what I'mabout to say, but thank God for
deliverance, but I just want tobe open to somebody that's not
spiritually inclined or somebodythat's not in the church, I
wanted this episode to berelevant to them as well.
(06:54):
And I remember, before I obeyedthe gospel many years ago, when
I was out there partying, I'vegotten different women pregnant
and I will never forget when Imet this girl and then she was
like hey, you know I want totalk to you about something,
what you want to talk to meabout.
You know you young, you're inyour twenties, you know you're
not thinking about fatherhoodlike that, especially like if
(07:15):
you was raised in an environmentwithout a dad.
Yeah, so mom had to play mommyand daddy, but a mom can't
really teach a young man how tobe a man, right.
So then you get the streets.
You know, when you step out inthe street you got older men
that's telling you hey, man, youknow you can't settle for one
girl, so it's.
It's always.
That's that cycle.
So I will never forget this.
(07:35):
When this girl told me she'slike, I won't let you know I'm
pregnant I'm like it wasn'texcitement, right, it was like
abortion.
Yeah.
So this is a real and I'm surethis is something that's ongoing
where a woman will tell a youngman or even an older man like,
(07:56):
hey, you know I'm expecting.
Sure, this is what the dudeswill tell.
Most dudes will tell the womanDo what you got to do.
They don't want to say thatword abortion.
Most of is not gonna say thatword abortion.
Right, but these down in theirheart, like man, do what you
gotta do, because what we thinkabout, like child support man,
I'm gonna be locked down to thisfemale the responsibility of it
(08:17):
yeah you know, being a provider, yeah, in the source, yeah,
right, yeah, and, and and.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I, you know we all come to that moment in time,
yeah, and, like I said, and likeyou were saying there, I mean,
we're in a culture right nowwhere you know, you, you have
some brothers who would just,who don't mind saying the word
yeah you know, hey, get rid ofthe child, get rid of it.
Yeah, you know, abort it, yeah.
Terminate the pregnancy yeah,so yeah, for sure yeah, so that
was a real thing.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So that's the first time that happened to me and it
was.
It was the weirdest thingbecause this was like a real
good girl.
She had like a good thing goingfor herself, got a career, but
her parents are like, don't messwith that dude.
Like this dude is not, he don'tgot nothing going with his
first self.
So apparently they aborted thebaby.
So, um, you know, sad to say,um, in the past I ended up
getting like probably five orsix different women pregnant.
(09:03):
I just lost count.
Um, I'm not excited saying that, but those are things that I,
you know, looking, looking nowin present day, like man, like
wow god, like ungodly mindset.
I wasn't thinking properly.
So now I'm like, hey, whenpeople talk about abortion, I'd
be like not on board that baby,keep that baby, because you know
god is about life and the enemy, you know, know, we know he
(09:24):
comes to kill, stay and destroy.
So the first time I ever heardthat, you know, a woman told me
she was expecting.
It was numerous times before Igot baptized.
And back then I was likeexcited because you tell your
homeboy yeah, man, she got ridof the baby, she prayed it.
You, young and dumb.
You're not really right, but asyou age you mature.
(09:47):
You like I would have had likesix, seven kids.
You know what I mean.
Like sure, my seed.
You know what I mean, right.
So but fast forward.
When god delivered me, I got.
God knocked some sense into me.
Godly wisdom, um, yeah, godknocked some sense into me.
Thank god for that yes, you know, and, um, when I got saved, I
got married three years laterand then, um, god blessed my
wife and I.
Well, we had, I had a childalready, but god blessed me with
two children, daughter and um,a son and man.
(10:11):
The first time I like man,especially like my son.
I started reading books, yeah,but, like you said, there's no
blueprint, so it's kind of like.
So, when you got these authorswriting about fatherhood, they
just pretty much talking abouttheir experience.
Sure, you know, but I think thebest father is really what you
see in scripture, which is Godhimself.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I got to tell you I certainly appreciate your
testimony because I believethat's going to be impactful and
helpful to a lot of men whowent through the same thing.
Yeah Right, it's, you know it's.
Sometimes it misses the markwhen they hear you know a
testimony like mine, because Igrew up with a father and so
(10:54):
many did not, and you knowyou're basically trial and error
at that point.
You are basically a product ofwhat you see.
You know growing up, seeing,growing up, hearing what you're
exposed to you nine times out of10, you're going to duplicate
that.
You're going to replicate that.
I can say this and I believethis with my whole heart, and
this really goes to theimportance of having a father
and being a father.
(11:14):
If I didn't have a father in mylife, I really honestly think
and I think I can say this and Isay this with a great deal of
confidence I don't think that Iwould be alive.
I think that I would either bein the grave or in somebody's
jail rotting away.
I would either be in the graveor in somebody's jail rotting
away.
I really do, and you know it'sjust a test.
It's just such a great thing tohear your testimony, how God
(11:37):
brought you out of that.
Yeah Praise.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
God yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And I love it because you know, a lot of times, you
know, we tend to hear thingslike that and people, especially
those you know kind of quoteunquote, grow up in a church,
they'll kind of shy away fromthat and, like you know,
abortion and things of thatnature, and people have to
understand.
No, this is real, you know, andthis happens more than people
think Right, and so it's good tohear that testimony and to see
(12:07):
how God brought you from thatRight.
So you told us four or fivepregnancies, basically four or
five could be more.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
It's been years for four or five terminations.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Okay, but God still loved you that part and blessed
you enough to have your own andyou get to experience what it is
and what it means to be afather.
You can't tell me, see, that'show beautiful and that's how
awesome a father is, because Godis, and that's why I said in my
(12:44):
studies it was so interestingand I still deal with it,
wrestle with it, you know,meditate on it, look at it.
I'm like this is the supremebeing.
He doesn't need anything,ontologically speaking, right,
(13:05):
he's self-sufficient,self-sustaining.
What's the like?
Why are you revealing us?
Why are you revealing yourselfto us in this way as father?
Right, I'm still wrestling withit.
You know I'm still, you know Istill I'm, I'm, I'm prayerful
and you know, you know,confident that the Holy Spirit
(13:27):
will continue to lead me down apath that brings greater
understanding to that.
But I'm like, why, why, why didyou come to us as a father?
Why, why do you reveal yourselfas a father?
So you know, I love talkingabout the subject becoming a
father.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
But I would.
I would say this too, docthere's women that have
abortions and they never consultthe guy.
Like they, never like they,they like.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
There's women that have abortions and they never
consult the guy like they neverlike they.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
They like there's women, the women that had their
like.
Some of them lost the baby,some of them had abortion in my
experience, but the ones thatare abortions not.
They never consulted with melike, hey, you know, even though
, like, they tell me they'repregnant, I said, hey, do what
you want to do.
Like it never said like I'mgonna do it.
Do you consent?
Is it okay for me to abort?
Because there's a lot of menthat's probably dealing with it
even now, because a woman thatabort the baby and they never
(14:12):
told the woman to abort the baby.
That's also a real thing aswell.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
For sure.
Yeah, that's all part of thechaos that I would say, you know
, listen, abortion, that'sultimately, you know, the devils
and the demons their plan,devils and the demons, their
plan.
Because, as you, you know,stated earlier so eloquently,
god is life, that's that's,that's, that's who and what he
is, he's life, he's love, he'slife, all the life is sourced
(14:39):
from him, right, and so, youknow, when you think about the
idea of death, or de-creation,if you will, if that makes sense
, Right, first thing we see Goddoing is creating.
In the beginning, god createdlife, right, and so what is the
(15:00):
antithesis to that?
Death?
Right, and abortion falls intothat.
And, and you know cause, it'sinteresting.
Cause, you know, I, you know, asan educator, I, you know,
sometimes this, this topic, willcome up with my students, right
, and we'll, you know, and quitenaturally, we always have, you
know, we have some on both sides, whether they're for abortion,
(15:22):
against abortion.
And you know, I, just lately,I've been really getting at them
to understand what really isabortion.
Let's, let's, let's call itwhat it is, because sometimes
we'll come up with these termsabortion, well, that sounds so
medical.
You kind of take away the valueof it.
What is it really?
It's killing, it's death.
(15:43):
I mean, if we really want to getdown to the bare essence of it,
what is abortion?
It's killing, it's death,that's what it is Okay.
But yeah, you're absolutelyright, there are situations
where the man, or the father inthat case, was not consulted,
was not told.
And again, I certainly wouldsay to that that's all part of
(16:03):
the chaos and ultimately,spiritually speaking, from that
spiritual warfare standpoint,that's what the devil and them.
You know, spiritually speaking,from that spiritual warfare,
warfare standpoint, yeah, that'swhat the devil in them, demons
won't.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, the men, that understands.
You know what it means to be afather, or upcoming father, like
you said, like when you areconnected with God, and even if
a man is ungodly because Ibelieve that there are men out
there, that's that's not in thechurch but they still love their
children For sure.
That's something that is hardto explain, because this being,
whether or not it's a daughteror a son, came from you.
(16:36):
Right, because we carry theseed.
Yes, the only thing the womanis doing is carrying the baby.
Sorry sisters, sorry women,sorry sisters.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Listen, let me tell you you don't have to apologize
to them.
Listen, Listen, let me tell youyou don't have to apologize to
them, listen them, children,love they mamas, you know.
Mother's Day.
But you know, mother's Day, beon and popping, you know what
I'm saying.
They taking mama out to youknow, to the finest restaurant,
when.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Father's Day come, we gonna die.
Yeah, you know scientifically.
Yeah, we carry, carry the seeds.
Going back to the question, sowhen I heard, when my wife said,
like hey, I'm expecting, it wasamazing to me, like to see the,
especially, as you know, you gosee the ultrasound.
Yeah, you know, you see thatlittle nugget.
Yes, sir see it how it evolveand grow over time.
(17:26):
And as it continues to grow,you start to see it move.
Right, it evolve and grow overtime and as it continues to grow
, you start to see it move.
And to me it's just amazing,like I started to think about
God.
I know God was blessing me witha baby yes, sir, but I'm like
God.
How you allow another humanbeing to birth another human
being?
How about that?
Like there's a living beinginside, yes, moving, and on top
(17:51):
of that, you know my wife and I,we used to sing.
You know, I'm not the bestsinger, like I'm not a good
singer, I'm just making a joyfulnoise.
I mean, obviously you were thesinger as long as it's joyful
but I was making a joyful noiseand playing gospel songs and you
could just see the movementlike as though he was worshiping
in there, and to me that waslike a beautiful thing for me to
see, at least at the time as anupcoming father, and that
experience that I have.
I would love for every father,upcoming father to experience
(18:13):
that.
Not doing what I did in thepast, like do whatever you want
to do with the baby or not, evenif a sister's watching this not
aborting the child, becausethere are some sisters that
abort the child and they couldnever have a baby again.
There's situations like thattoo.
But that feeling that I felt inthis is, and it's like once
that child is birthed, the joy,yes, the love.
(18:36):
Yes, it's hard to explain ifyou're, if you're not, a father,
it's hard to explain thatbecause, dude, be like man, what
the dude talking about?
I don't got no kids right, butwhen you, when that baby come
out, for sure, like man, I lovelittle man, I love my daughter
for sure, that's thatunconditional love, yes yes, I
mean there's, there's.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I'll liken it to this there's, there's.
It's almost as if and so let mebe careful how I'm say this
it's, it's, it's love withoutconstraint like there's.
It's really hard to put intowords and that's why I believe
it is such a blessing, becauseI'll give it to you this way my
(19:21):
son and I we've always had thisthing when we were growing up,
when he was able to talk, and wewere always hanging out and I'm
always playing with him, yeah,hugging on him, kissing on him,
you know, wrestling with him,you know all that.
And just take a moment, I'd belike you know, daddy loves you,
right?
And so we would have this thingwhere we go back and forth.
(19:42):
He's like, yeah, daddy, but Ilove you more and I'll be like
nah son dada loves you more, andso we.
We had this thing where we keepgoing back and forth, and so we
would just, like you know, justjust make up stuff.
He'd be like daddy, I loved you, I love you more.
I've been loving you for, youknow, uh, 10 years, and he
(20:05):
wasn't even 10 yet.
I'm like son, I loved youbefore you even formed in your
mother's womb.
It's like I saw you when I wasyoung.
I saw you by faith, yeah, and Ihad to explain to him like I
saw you, so that I loves youmore.
He'd be like daddy, I loved youbefore time started.
(20:27):
We go back and forth, forth,right, and it's such a beautiful
, a wonderful thing yeah youknow, and the reason I say love
without constraint is because Ican't even there's.
It's hard for me to even fathom,to put this in mind, to process
it, to compute it like there'snothing that I wouldn't do for
(20:50):
him, do you understand?
He could, god forbid, he couldbecome the worst person on earth
.
He could become worse, worsethan hitler, the most vile
person you can think of.
I still love him.
I still love him because he'smy son.
That's your son, came from me,yeah and this is such a
beautiful thing like it's.
It's such an, it's such anawesome topic, and I think this
(21:13):
kind of helps me get closer toyou.
Know why God will revealhimself as a father?
Yeah, because I mean, it's afeeling that's indescribable and
it's hard to articulate.
My love has no limits when itcomes to him, and I'm loving him
as a father.
What am I saying?
I'm loving him as the source,just like God loves us as the
(21:33):
source.
I'm loving him as a provider,just as God loves us as the
ultimate provider.
You get what I'm saying.
It's almost as if God says Iwill allow you to experience
this.
That's a blessing.
You understand what I'm saying.
Experience this, that's ablessing.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
That's a blessing.
What an awesome blessing it is.
(21:54):
God made us in his image.
When I look at my son, he is inmy image.
When people looked at me, I wasin my father's image.
That's why they're like oh man,you look like your dad.
They used to call my dad Pete,and so when I was born, like you
, you look like your dad.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
They used to call my dad pete, and so when I was born
they ended up calling me repeat, but that's why you get the
name repeat yeah, I waswondering about that and it's
like you know, it's such awonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And that's why I said your testimony is so awesome,
because, even though, becauseyou, you know, you started out
by saying you know I'm not proudto say this, right, but even
with that, god says I'm going tobless you to experience what I
experienced.
Still, you get what I'm sayingRight, right, right, what an
(22:42):
awesome.
The scripture says this youknow what is man, that thou art
mindful of him?
Right, think about it now.
I mean, and I, I don't want to,you know we, we know the
biblical story, we know thereality.
God created man.
Man falls right, but look atwhat god did to redeem man, to
(23:06):
bring man back to him.
Right, that shows you and ittells you the magnitude of his
love.
That's limitless love.
Right, and here it is.
He blesses you and I and otherfathers alike, to feel that, to
experience that.
I would die for my son, I woulddie for my children, and I know
(23:30):
you would too.
Oh yeah, guess what God didpreaching the gospel, right yeah
but, but I, but again, you know, I think it's important that we
have this conversation becauseyou know the devil and all
enemies of the cross, they'vebeen trying to take that away
from us, from men, and so you'llhave male factors, fathers to
(23:54):
be who can easily just what youpregnant man, terminate that
pregnancy?
Yeah right, because they didn'thave a father, they didn't
experience this, right.
So how can they know?
You understand?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
but let me say this though, because, um, it helped
me to, because you know I'll beremiss if I didn't bring this up
god allowed me to experience myson, but also he also blessed
me with a daughter that I loveis equally as my son.
Yeah, and going back, althoughI seen the process with my son,
I didn't see that same processwith my daughter.
(24:29):
My daughter got in my life whenI was like, when she was seven
years old.
So you know we talk aboutfatherhood, father, male parent.
Now I'm married.
Now you know her mother was asingle mother at that time.
I'm married.
So when I married, mom became afather like he needs to be a
father like right.
(24:50):
You know, started reading booksand talking to wise men in the
church.
Hey, you know what I mean.
Like, how do I?
You know what I mean?
Because I went from beingsingle yeah, think about it like
I, I left my parents house late.
You know all my other brothers,they had their own family, sure
, and then so I was the last onein line, like, like I said, I
had got a different womanpregnant.
(25:11):
But one of the greatest fears,like man, she's not my wife like
just get rid of it or theyeither lost the baby.
But now here I am yeah,marriage.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Father Right Just thrown to the fire.
Yeah, like I was thrown in thefire like that.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
So me and her, over time we built our relationship,
knowing how to father Because Iwanted so.
When God blessed me with her, Iwanted to be that father to her
that I never had, because mymother had eight children.
Daddy wasn't in the home.
When I seen her I saideverything that I wanted my
(25:47):
parents to do is not that theydidn't want to do, is that they
couldn't afford it.
Sure, I said I want to do toher all the greater things in
life.
Number one I wanted to teachher.
Well, we're going to get tothat part.
Teach her about a Lord, but whenit comes to being there for her
sitting down with her andteaching her life lessons.
I wanted to be there for her.
(26:08):
I wanted to be the person thathugged her whenever she needed a
hug.
I wanted to be the father thatshe could talk to about anything
.
She don't have to hold thingsup or talk to her friends or
whatever's going on through hermind.
I wanted to be there to praywith her and pray for her.
As a father, early on in mymarriage, I was the one that was
like in the circle before we goto bed and we'll pray to let
(26:31):
her know like, hey, I'm here foryou.
And that was an interestingexperience and I thank God.
And even to this day, like Ihave a wonderful relationship
with her God, and even to thisday, like I have a wonderful
relationship with her.
And it was, it's funny,interesting enough, that when my
wife was pregnant with my son,at the time my wife thought that
I would favor my son because hewas part of me, came from me.
I said Trina, you, you justdon't know the heart that I have
(26:53):
towards God, cause you know,once you're adopted into God's
family, there's no favoritism.
You're all equal, equal right.
The first shall be last or thelast shall be first right.
So when it came to him, when hewas born, although the love
that I have for him, I had theequal amount of love for her and
it's, it's still like that tothis day.
No favor to my wife would tellme she was like yeah, nick, you
(27:13):
was right, you treat both in thesame way.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I can't even tell the difference I think that's
awesome that you brought that up, because you know, dealing with
the reality of our world, youknow we have blended mixed
families.
Yes, that's becoming the normnow.
Basically, yes, you know with,you know life, you know, as we
say in our day and time now lifebe lifin'.
So you have these blendedfamilies now and certainly I
(27:38):
think that's a great point thatyou bring up.
In terms of adoption, a lot oftimes you're just thrust in a
situation where you know youhave children.
You met this woman and she's gottwo, you got one and, however,
that's gonna work yeah you know,and there's the potential there
(27:59):
for a whole lot of chaotic typeof things to happen.
You know jealousy and you knowfavoritism and things of that
nature.
And just being, you know, aChristian man, father, husband
for the woman, wife, mother,things of that nature, children,
siblings.
You know you're trying tostrive.
Listen, we have to learn how tonavigate through through those
(28:23):
types of things and situationsnow, and the thing that I point
to is the fact that you know,god had a chosen people, yeah,
but then christ came and diedfor the world yes, sir, brought
them gentiles on in yeah, yeah,yeah those other religions I've
(28:43):
seen yeah, yeah, yeah, brought,brought everybody back, yeah,
but, but again, here's why Istarted the way I did in terms
of god revealing himself asfather.
Right, because ultimately we allbelong to god.
Right, it was just through thefall, you know, god decided okay
(29:04):
, mankind, you keep messing up,then I will give you over to
these other gods.
And that's why and I know this,this ain't a, you know, a
spiritual lineage class whereyou know I have to take you
through the whole old Testamentand tell you exactly what
happened.
But you know, I think that'sgood to know, good to know.
God basically disowned humanityand he chose his people.
(29:24):
That's why he goes and he findsAbraham.
After the Tower of Babel event Iwas basically the last straw
God says okay, you don't want meto be your God, then you go
ahead and let the other godshave you, and so, legally you
know what I mean we belong toother gods and these other gods
at that time were in fellowshipwith God, right, and so that's
(29:45):
why you have the Old Testamentplay out the way it does,
because you know those othergods basically fell away.
That's why you got the childrenof Israel fighting the
Amalekites, the Canaanites andthe Jebusites and all of these
other nations, and I'm like, youknow, wow, that's pretty
interesting.
God disowned humanity, yeah.
Then he chose his own peoplethrough Abraham, the Hebrew
(30:07):
nation, yeah.
Israelites, right, yeah.
And so now here comes God, amenand Jesus Christ.
He comes on the scene and hebrings us all back, and now we
have spirit of adoption, right.
So so we look at that and wesee how God loves us.
(30:28):
Christ didn't just die for theJew, he died for everybody, and
so now all of us are sons anddaughters of God, right, and so
we need to take that approachwhen we find ourselves in these
blended, you know, familysituations, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
That's good, cause I I really wanted to bring that up
Cause, like you said, we livein a time where folks having
kids you know what I mean andthen you know you happen to meet
a God friend woman or a Godfriend man and they meet and
like, hey, I got two, yeah, Igot three.
Well, let's make it work, worknow.
The issue is now are you gonnashow favoritism?
(31:04):
Are you gonna buy so-and-solunch?
And you know what I?
Speaker 2 (31:05):
mean and listen, it's , it's, it's, uh, it's all a
growing learning process yeah,right even with you know
families who are not blended.
You your natural biologicalfamilies that's still a growing
process, right, right, you know,right, like you know my seed,
who came from me.
That's still a growing process.
I'm learning, right, right, youknow, and I thank god, you know
, for his patience and you knowmy patience with you know, we
(31:29):
have all.
We just have patience with eachother, yeah, but we just got to
, you know.
Allow god to lead us inwhatever situation we find
ourselves so, uh, yeah, y'allstay tuned for the next episode.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.