June 30, 2025 • 28 mins
Brotherhood and accountability form the foundation of healthy masculinity, creating spaces where men can be vulnerable while growing stronger together. The isolation many men retreat to during difficult times is precisely what makes them most vulnerable to destructive patterns.
• Men are under spiritual attack because of the power they hold when united
• Traditional messages of "don't cry" and "man up" teach men to hide weakness rather than address it
• Brotherhood without accountability is common but lacks transformative power
• Jesus modeled brotherhood by surrounding himself with twelve disciples despite his divine power
• Church community provides space for both encouragement and loving correction
• Modern life systems subtly erode brotherhood through busyness and separation
• The "village mentality" where men collectively cared for communities has diminished
• Even in tough neighborhoods, older men often protected younger ones while warning "don't do what we're doing"
If you're isolated right now, reach out to another man in your life. You don't have to walk alone—brotherhood is waiting for you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So when I think about the brotherhood in the church,
I think about Jesus.
Jesus, being God in the flesh,had 12 disciples, like a man
with so much power, man and Godwith so much power is
surrounding himself with 12.
Welcome world again to anotherepisode of the Call by God
(00:33):
podcast.
I'm your host and I'm here withDaryl Smith again.
Daryl Smith, how you doing manDoing wonderful.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Doc Doing wonderful yes.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So, again, we're continuing this series on this
father's hood series, and I'menjoying it.
It's therapeutic for me, it'sjust been a blessing for me and
we're just going to dive rightinto it.
So we're going to be talkingtoday about brotherhood and
accountability and the reasonwhy I came up with this topic.
Simply because I know thatthere are most men we like to be
(01:04):
isolated Sometimes when we gothrough men, we like to be
isolated.
Sometimes when we go throughstuff, we like to be in our man.
We call that man cave andsometimes we shy away, we run
away from brotherhood and evenaccountability.
And I just wanted to talk aboutthat.
And I'm sure it might probablybe you.
You might probably be in yourman cave right now, all by
yourself.
You're lonesome, but it doesnot have to be that way.
(01:26):
It don't have to be this way.
You know, I'm sure that there'ssomebody in your life that I
feel that you could go to andtalk to about what you're going
through, and y'all could be asource of encouragement to one
another.
So let's talk about that today.
So when you think aboutbrotherhood and accountability,
what comes to your mind?
I'm going to tellaccountability.
What comes to your mind, uh,I'm gonna tell you what comes to
me before you go.
So I know you and I, we, wewatched the movie called the
(01:47):
forge, the power of a maninstilling some some affirmation
and encouragement, and anotheryoung man, but there's somewhere
in the movie that they formed acircle and you just see men,
men with their sons, and I'mlike man.
That's how brotherhood issupposed to look like.
Right Iron sharpens iron, thatif somebody is falling, you got
(02:10):
another one to pick another oneup, like.
So that came to my mind.
So when you think aboutbrotherhood, what comes to?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Daryl.
Oh my goodness, so muchpotential.
Oh my goodness, so muchpotential, like I always see,
like tremendous potential.
If brothers, men, would standup right, yeah, we'd be a force
to reckon with the devil.
(02:40):
Demons, they know that, wow,think about it.
Well, demons, they know that,wow, think about it.
If you just look at men in ourpresent day, you know, and in
(03:02):
our you know, just look at themfrom I'm trying to find the
words because I can see thetremendous amount of good that
would come from brothersstanding together and helping
each other Right.
So I'm trying to come at itfrom a different angle.
From that spiritual war youknow that's, I'm always on that
(03:24):
kick.
From that spiritual war, youknow that's, I'm always on that
kick.
Um, there's a reason why menare under attack.
That's strength, that's power.
You take that and you, you've,you've got it.
Wow, I'm, I'm, I'm serious.
You take that away, you strippower and, and, and.
(03:44):
What is there left for you toeven defend?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
with.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
You get what I'm saying.
Yeah, so brotherhood andaccountability.
We're so connected to powerthat we don't like weakness and
I can speak for myself.
I don't like weakness.
Yeah, we don't like weaknessand I can speak for myself.
I don't like weakness.
Yeah, still learning thechallenge with that is, you know
(04:10):
God even says in his scriptureyou know, my strength is made
perfect through weakness.
If there was a, there was amovement, I think and you help
(04:38):
me if I'm, you correct me if I'mwrong here the, what was it?
The million man march?
yeah, years ago ago that I thinkthe Muslims, farrakhan, kind of
headed that thing.
Oh, my goodness man, that wassuch a powerful display of men
(04:58):
gathering in one place.
It affected the nation and itaffected the world for them to
see that many men comingtogether, one purpose and one
goal, right, yeah.
And Imagine if we had in ourneighborhoods, right, at least,
(05:27):
let's say, at least 15, 20 menin each neighborhood that would
stand up, yeah, right.
Help these young men become men, right.
Keep the neighborhoods safe.
Right.
Help the neighborhoods safe.
Right.
Help the neighborhoods thrive.
Make sure that theseneighborhoods have the
(05:49):
essentials.
Make sure that we got grocerystores in all our neighborhoods.
Make sure that we have schoolsin our neighborhood.
Make sure that we havehospitals in our neighborhood.
Right, no-transcript, that'sall that the, the, the
(06:28):
neighborhoods need.
Yeah, do you get what I'm saying?
But, um, I like the way you saythat you know brotherhood and
accountability, because we, asmen, we go through things and
you know, I'm trying my best to.
I don't know, maybe I just needto stay into the whole
spiritual warfare thing.
I'll be trying to step awayfrom it.
(06:50):
But we, as men, we hurt, wefail, right, and it's such a,
it's such an issue for us,because we know and we feel it's
(07:15):
an eight in us for us to be theprovider, the protector right,
the one that you know people cancount on, yeah, and when you
are unable to fulfill, thoseroles.
You feel it right.
(07:36):
You don't necessarily feel likea man at that point, right, and
I think you know y you haveheard me say this before.
I always refer back to thatChris Rock saying where he was.
Like you know, women, childrenand pets no matter what are
loved.
They can mess up, they can fail, they can do this, but they
(07:59):
still loved.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
That man, if he messes up in one of those areas
you can't provide, you can'tprotect, he's not even
considered a man and everybodyhas that view.
Society views you like that,but you yourself, as a man, you
view yourself like that, and sothat right there shows you the
(08:23):
need for brotherhood, foraccountability.
It's difficult for us becausewe don't get together.
Yeah, like I don't want you toknow or think that I'm weak,
that's fast, yeah what did weget that from, though?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
About what you just said about, it's in it.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
It's in us, yeah, cause we're built to be, it's
innate with us, right, like eventhe most.
Uh, how, how do I say this?
Um, back in the day, we used tocall them, uh, like the really
scrawny kid.
That wasn't manly and masculineenough.
We call them like a nerd orsomething.
Yeah, scrawny kid, that wasn'tmanly and masculine enough.
(09:15):
We call him like a nerd orsomething.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, evenhim.
If you push him in a corner andyou keep pushing him in a corner
, right after a while, that mangonna that, that man, this is
gonna, yeah, you know, stand upin him at some point and he's
gonna do something, right, yeah,manly, it, manly, it's in us to
be a man, right?
You get what I'm saying.
So I don't want you to thinkthat I'm weak, I don't want you
to think that I missed the markor that I can't do, and so then
(09:40):
we become isolated and that's astrategy, that's a strategic
approach from the enemy, becauseonce you're isolated, enemy can
do whatever he wants with you,as opposed to being with my
brother, as opposed to watchthis being with my brothers.
(10:01):
You get what I'm saying.
Yeah, if you got a problem withme, you know what I mean,
you're like, I can't stand Smith, man, I want to take him out.
If I'm with four or five of mybrothers, you ain't trying to do
that, yeah, but if I get aloneby myself, man, I take him.
(10:24):
Now, you know well what do youthink the enemy is doing Right?
And so, yeah, um, the enemy isdoing right, and so, yeah, um,
we as men.
That's a good question, man,how do we?
How do we?
How do we?
(10:45):
I guess, first of all, identifythat within us.
You know that, hey, listen, youknow you need to let go of this
, this, this feeling that I gotto be strong all the time, yeah,
right, because if I'm and Imean that's the reality of it,
(11:06):
man, we, we do get weak.
Amen, yeah, right, yeah, we doget weak, amen, yeah, right.
Yeah, we do get weak, but welearned this from our fathers.
They learned it from theirfathers.
Don't you cry, man up.
You better handle that.
You know what I'm saying.
And then don't let a woman sayit, because if a woman telling
(11:32):
you you weak, you know well,okay, I may be feeling weak, but
I ain't gonna let her talk tome like that.
So I gotta show that I ain'tweak.
When you are weak, you get whatI'm saying, yeah, and so that
isolation becomes the thing ofchoice at that point, yeah, when
you're isolated, devil's gotfree reign.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, you got free reign.
So for me, for me.
So when I think aboutbrotherhood, I'm gonna start
with brotherhood before I talkabout accountability, because
first of all, we don't likeaccountability, we just like to
do things on, we figure it out.
But anyways, let me startbrotherhood.
So I'm gonna get.
I like to give two differentperspectives.
I like to give it for onebefore I became saved and while
(12:16):
I'm saved.
So, just so whoever's watchingus, you know I'm not giving it
only from a Christian worldview.
So my mother had eight children.
So, growing up with that largefamily because you know, back in
the day, that's what they didthey had children a lot, lots of
family.
Because you know, back in theday, that's what they did they
had children a lot, lots of them.
You know what I mean.
And so growing up with six boys,including myself so five boys
(12:39):
including myself we became likea brotherhood, like.
So when I think aboutbrotherhood, I think about a
unity of at the time it was justyoung men about a unity of at
the time it was just young men.
And then we loved each other.
We were we're blood brothers,but the love we showed to each
other was like it was beautifuland kind of like what you
(13:01):
pointed out, like if you were alot of brothers and I got a
problem with you.
You know I ain't gonna approachyou because you look at like
man, this dude like got four orfive other brothers I got like
six of them I got to deal with.
So that's kind of like how itwas for us.
So when I was coming up it waslike, nah, we don't want to mess
with that family.
Right there they like clickedup and it was not only us, it
(13:22):
wasn't only the brothers, but italso was the cousins.
So it was like this brotherhoodthat we grew up with.
And then, so you know, as weage, everybody began to change.
And I'm going somewhere withthis, because now we got whole
little men, little young boys,growing up without a daddy,
that's a daddy that's not theregiving them structure.
(13:43):
So we're all like little boystrying to figure it out on our
own.
Somebody got a problem with you.
Well, they got a problem withall us.
You know that was kind of likethe mindset growing up.
And as we grew up, you knoweverybody trying to figure it
out on our own.
Somebody got a problem with you.
Well, they got a problem withall of us.
You know that was kind of likethe mindset growing up.
And as we grew up, you know,everybody started going their
own way.
Then that brotherhood startedto slowly separate because
everybody into their own thingnow.
(14:04):
Now it's like you got a problemwith me.
That's your problem, my problemand it came to the point as we
began to age.
It's like it wasn't like areyou okay anymore?
You know, back when we wereyoung man, you good, you know
you good.
Now you ain't even checking onme daily, are you okay?
Or good morning, good evening,or good night, right, they got
(14:25):
this trend going on right nowwhere they calling dudes I'm
just calling to say goodnight.
It ain't that no more.
I mean the men calling dudes tosay goodnight.
So now I found myself and I'mjust saying my story.
I found myself before I becamea Christian, where I wasn't even
(14:45):
hanging around my brothersanymore.
Now you, in high school, yougot friends now.
So now those high schoolfriends, you, you know, I play
basketball.
So now those friends you heard,now they became like your own
brotherhood.
But there were brotherhood, butwith no accountability.
That so that there's a.
There's a a separation betweenthe brotherhood and
(15:06):
accountability.
And that's why, before I get tothe church, part so in the
world, I had this brotherhoodwith no.
And that's why, before I get tothe church, part so in the
world, I had this brotherhoodwith no accountability.
But he's like, from a secularor worldly standpoint, they're
telling you things opposition toGod's will and will.
Now you may have some dudesthat say, hey, you need to go to
school, you need to do this.
You know there were some decentdudes within the brotherhood
(15:27):
because there was always thatone you know what I mean that
always that one.
You know what I mean thatalways that one we always call
that one that's he's a hater.
Man you hate.
Man, you want me to get allthese women.
Man you hate because you can'tget any women.
You know what I mean.
So you always had that onesharing that with you.
So when you think about abrother, who you think about
community of of young men orbrothers, or upcoming young men
or men that could come togetherand encourage and instill and
(15:48):
give that that man, thatindividual man or group of
brothers, some encouragement.
Because, like we, we getweighted down.
So when I was in the worldbefore I got saved, we went out,
partied with my friends, thisand that.
Yeah, it was a brotherhood, butstill no accountability.
But at the same time we infusedthat encouragement in us.
But there were times that thebrothers, the brotherhood, went
(16:13):
a separate way.
It's like once the circle, likeeverybody, started getting into
different things.
It just collapsed Right andthen fast forward to the church.
So when I think about thebrotherhood in the church, I
think about Jesus.
Jesus being God in the flesh,had 12 disciples, like a man
(16:37):
with so much power, man and Godwith so much power, and
surrounding himself with 12.
So when I think about JesusChrist, I say, well, jesus
Christ had his littlebrotherhood yeah, little circle.
I said, well, jesus Christ hadhis little brotherhood yeah, a
little circle.
So when I think of so, when Igot in the church that's why I
thank God for the church Daryl,I have to say this you know I
(16:58):
don't want to get all emotional,because the church really I
want people that's really that'swatching this.
I want them to understand theimpact of a Christian fellowship
, church or brotherhood, peoplethat love the lord.
Because you think about all yourlife, you've been told the
wrong things to do this, do that, do this.
(17:18):
Have more than one woman, dothat.
You.
You're always being taught thewrong thing.
Now, when you get in the church, it's like the opposite, like
wait a minute, like this is.
I'm not, not used to this.
You know what I mean.
So that's why I thank God forthe brotherhood.
And so when I got into thechurch, the brotherhood was
different to me and I loved it.
It was like texting, call, youknow, even if it wasn't like a
(17:42):
verbal conversation.
You know because you know, man,we don't talk as much as women
and there are studies that womendo talk.
I mean I'm not throwing shadeon women, but there are studies
that women talk, talk.
I mean I'm not throwing shadeon women, but there are studies
that women talk more than men.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, men, don't we have an issue expressing
ourselves yeah, yeah.
So women tend to do better withexpression, right, right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
So when it came with the church, the brotherhood,
they wrap their arms around meand say, hey, we got you.
And then it was like textmessages, phone calls here and
there, fellowships, prayer,bible studies, and I enjoyed it
because I like, wow, because,like the time that I was low, I
get the encouragement Not fromone brother you got, I'm getting
it from all different angles,like man, this brother, like we
(18:22):
encourage, and it was, and itwas going both ways, like, yeah,
I'm filled you week, I got you,you feel, and I really, really,
really enjoyed it.
In addition to that, now, whatI didn't get in the world I was
getting in the church, thataccountability when you wrong,
you wrong, but you need a realbrother to tell you that you
(18:46):
wrong.
And you got to receive it.
Because what most men do whenthey wrong don't like to receive
it from a brother well, it hasto be a certain type of brother,
because if the brother isliving in error say, for ie, a
brother's cheating on his wifeyou telling me not to cheat,
(19:07):
dude, like, come on man, likereally don't be no hypocrite
dude, like you're doing the samething.
You know what I mean.
It gotta be a brother thatreally, really loved the lord
and generally have a love foryour soul, to tell you what's
right.
Hey, man, I just want to letyou know that I love you.
But I got to tell you this youknow, the Bible says that open
(19:27):
rebuke is better than secretlove.
I got to tell the reason whyI'm telling you this is because
I love you and that's what Icall like a real brother, that
you love me so much.
Are you going to pray for me?
Pray for me.
So, but I believe, spiritual tosome extent, because of we have
(19:49):
to work nine to fives in thesociety.
Some subtle way the enemy hasslowly is breaking that
brotherhood up, even in thechurch.
Because now it's not likebrothers intentionally say that
I don't want to talk to you, Ican't talk to you.
It's because now brothers gotto worry about okay, I got my
wife, I got my children, I gotthis and that.
(20:11):
And then you find yourselfdrifting and you find yourself,
man, I ain't talking to thisbrother.
And then you call a break likeman, what you up, what you been
up to, yeah, life is life andman, life be life.
So that's the thing, man.
So so that's that's kind oflike what?
What comes to my mind when Ithink about brotherhood and
accountability?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
yeah, I guess maybe that's where I was trying to go,
because I like the way you didit you secular than church,
right, but I think I thinkthere's an element there that
(20:57):
you could see in both if youseparated like that.
I was just trying to encompassall of it.
Yeah, in general, brother,brotherhood, right, and I think
you know when you went thesecular route it made me think
about you know how I came up asa young kid, so I was growing up
, you know, uh, west hollywood,carver ranches and, and so I
came up in the 80s and the 90s,right, and I can remember days
(21:24):
going outside in the 80s whereour neighborhood started to
change, because you know youstart getting the drug you know
cocaine, crack epidemic at thatpoint in time, right, but we
still had enough of, I want tosay, brotherhood and
accountability even then in theneighborhood.
(21:47):
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, you know the old adagethat we always be talking about.
You know it takes a village toraise.
Yeah, right, we, we kind of hadthat back then and I attribute
that.
You know I look at that asbrotherhood and accountability.
You get what I'm saying.
Like, I remember being able togo outside with the neighborhood
(22:08):
kids, friends, you know,cousins and whatnot, right,
brothers, cousin, all thatfamily, and I remember even that
we call them d boys back then,yeah, yeah, yeah, even them.
Back then they were older thanus but they were still a part of
the, the village mentality, thebrotherhood and accountability.
(22:30):
And I'm gonna give you anexample of what I mean by that.
We would go outside, they wouldplay ball with us, they would
play basketball with us, theywould play football with us,
right, and you know they didthey thing we knew what they
were doing.
Right, they pull out a lot ofmoney because this is back in
the time when, um, you know, icecream trucks would be coming,
(22:50):
you know, up and down the street, right.
And then you know d boy be like, hey, hey, little man, you want
a little, you want a littledrink, soda pop, or whatever.
You know these boys be like,hey, hey, little man, you want a
little drink, soda pop orwhatever, you know, ice cream,
whatever.
And we were running, we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, here you go.
They pull out this big wad ofmoney, right, they give it to us
.
Go and get you something, man,and then get me this too.
They wanted us to get themstuff and they bring my change.
(23:12):
Ok, cool, we did that to us.
That was still brotherhoodaccountability, because they
were looking out for us, right,so they pay for our stuff, right
, they will play ball with us,right, and even if it got a
little too hot like they got atransaction that's about to go
down at the park and it wasgetting a little too hot they
(23:34):
tell us don't go to the parktoday.
Y'all stay home.
Don't go to the park today,it's going to get a little rough
.
Ok, so we didn't go to the park.
We would stay home, right,right, even during the
conversations we would have withthem, I remember them telling
us hey, don't do what we'redoing.
They would tell us this we werethe little little little fellas
(23:58):
Right, right, right, and theywere older.
Right.
They said don't you do this.
They'd be like we have to dothis because that little check,
grandma, getting that ain'tenough to make up to make ends
meet.
And they will be like y'all goto school, y'all get your
education, don't do what we'redoing, we have to do this.
This is their speech to us,their mentality.
(24:19):
To me.
I see I saw the brotherhood andthe accountability even in that
.
You get what I'm saying andthen eventually you stay with
that life.
Eventually they got locked upor dead, they're in the grave.
You get what I'm saying and sowe kind of lost that Right and I
(24:41):
think what you were getting at.
And I'm trying to tie it alltogether because even when you
went to the church, right, andyou now experience, you know,
the brotherhood, theaccountability.
Hey, brother, nick, I'm goingto shoot you a text God bless
you how you feeling.
Shoot you a verse.
God bless you how you feeling.
Shoot you a verse this, that,another, and you you're feeling
that.
But even now it's kind ofpulling away, you know, with
(25:02):
brotherhood in the church, kindof getting separated right.
I see something consistent inboth of those secular and you
know, spiritual or church, yeah,yeah, yeah.
And going back to thatspiritual warfare, yeah, systems
, yeah, right, systems that pullyou away and apart, right, like
(25:22):
growing up in the 80s we allhad that village mentality,
right.
Even them d-boys respected theparents in the neighborhood.
We're not gonna do that infront of miss may house, you
know, we're not gonna do that.
You know, if they had that carwith the booming system, they'll
turn it down coming down youknow, that's right they
respected the church, house andall that type stuff.
(25:45):
Right, we're still a close-knitfamily, right, but then systems
started pulling us away andapart.
Right, you know they eventuallygot caught up doing you.
You stay in that lifestyle.
That's gonna catch up with you,right, but then your mamas and
your daddies started separatingand all of this stuff started
happening and you lose thatvillage mentality.
(26:05):
Right, the brotherhood, onceagain isolation.
You know that stuff startshappening.
Same thing in the church.
Now, right, and I know youfocus, we're focusing on men.
Yes, father, yes, yes, sir, yes, sir, well, listen.
So when I think about the brotherhood in the church,
I think about Jesus.
Jesus, being God in the flesh,had 12 disciples, like a man
with so much power, man and Godwith so much power is
surrounding himself with 12.
Welcome world again to anotherepisode of the Call by God
(00:33):
podcast.
I'm your host and I'm here withDaryl Smith again.
Daryl Smith, how you doing manDoing wonderful.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Doc Doing wonderful yes.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So, again, we're continuing this series on this
father's hood series, and I'menjoying it.
It's therapeutic for me, it'sjust been a blessing for me and
we're just going to dive rightinto it.
So we're going to be talkingtoday about brotherhood and
accountability and the reasonwhy I came up with this topic.
Simply because I know thatthere are most men we like to be
(01:04):
isolated Sometimes when we gothrough men, we like to be
isolated.
Sometimes when we go throughstuff, we like to be in our man.
We call that man cave andsometimes we shy away, we run
away from brotherhood and evenaccountability.
And I just wanted to talk aboutthat.
And I'm sure it might probablybe you.
You might probably be in yourman cave right now, all by
yourself.
You're lonesome, but it doesnot have to be that way.
(01:26):
It don't have to be this way.
You know, I'm sure that there'ssomebody in your life that I
feel that you could go to andtalk to about what you're going
through, and y'all could be asource of encouragement to one
another.
So let's talk about that today.
So when you think aboutbrotherhood and accountability,
what comes to your mind?
I'm going to tellaccountability.
What comes to your mind, uh,I'm gonna tell you what comes to
me before you go.
So I know you and I, we, wewatched the movie called the
(01:47):
forge, the power of a maninstilling some some affirmation
and encouragement, and anotheryoung man, but there's somewhere
in the movie that they formed acircle and you just see men,
men with their sons, and I'mlike man.
That's how brotherhood issupposed to look like.
Right Iron sharpens iron, thatif somebody is falling, you got
(02:10):
another one to pick another oneup, like.
So that came to my mind.
So when you think aboutbrotherhood, what comes to?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Daryl.
Oh my goodness, so muchpotential.
Oh my goodness, so muchpotential, like I always see,
like tremendous potential.
If brothers, men, would standup right, yeah, we'd be a force
to reckon with the devil.
(02:40):
Demons, they know that, wow,think about it.
Well, demons, they know that,wow, think about it.
If you just look at men in ourpresent day, you know, and in
(03:02):
our you know, just look at themfrom I'm trying to find the
words because I can see thetremendous amount of good that
would come from brothersstanding together and helping
each other Right.
So I'm trying to come at itfrom a different angle.
From that spiritual war youknow that's, I'm always on that
(03:24):
kick.
From that spiritual war, youknow that's, I'm always on that
kick.
Um, there's a reason why menare under attack.
That's strength, that's power.
You take that and you, you've,you've got it.
Wow, I'm, I'm, I'm serious.
You take that away, you strippower and, and, and.
(03:44):
What is there left for you toeven defend?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
with.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
You get what I'm saying.
Yeah, so brotherhood andaccountability.
We're so connected to powerthat we don't like weakness and
I can speak for myself.
I don't like weakness.
Yeah, we don't like weaknessand I can speak for myself.
I don't like weakness.
Yeah, still learning thechallenge with that is, you know
(04:10):
God even says in his scriptureyou know, my strength is made
perfect through weakness.
If there was a, there was amovement, I think and you help
(04:38):
me if I'm, you correct me if I'mwrong here the, what was it?
The million man march?
yeah, years ago ago that I thinkthe Muslims, farrakhan, kind of
headed that thing.
Oh, my goodness man, that wassuch a powerful display of men
(04:58):
gathering in one place.
It affected the nation and itaffected the world for them to
see that many men comingtogether, one purpose and one
goal, right, yeah.
And Imagine if we had in ourneighborhoods, right, at least,
(05:27):
let's say, at least 15, 20 menin each neighborhood that would
stand up, yeah, right.
Help these young men become men, right.
Keep the neighborhoods safe.
Right.
Help the neighborhoods safe.
Right.
Help the neighborhoods thrive.
Make sure that theseneighborhoods have the
(05:49):
essentials.
Make sure that we got grocerystores in all our neighborhoods.
Make sure that we have schoolsin our neighborhood.
Make sure that we havehospitals in our neighborhood.
Right, no-transcript, that'sall that the, the, the
(06:28):
neighborhoods need.
Yeah, do you get what I'm saying?
But, um, I like the way you saythat you know brotherhood and
accountability, because we, asmen, we go through things and
you know, I'm trying my best to.
I don't know, maybe I just needto stay into the whole
spiritual warfare thing.
I'll be trying to step awayfrom it.
(06:50):
But we, as men, we hurt, wefail, right, and it's such a,
it's such an issue for us,because we know and we feel it's
(07:15):
an eight in us for us to be theprovider, the protector right,
the one that you know people cancount on, yeah, and when you
are unable to fulfill, thoseroles.
You feel it right.
(07:36):
You don't necessarily feel likea man at that point, right, and
I think you know y you haveheard me say this before.
I always refer back to thatChris Rock saying where he was.
Like you know, women, childrenand pets no matter what are
loved.
They can mess up, they can fail, they can do this, but they
(07:59):
still loved.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
That man, if he messes up in one of those areas
you can't provide, you can'tprotect, he's not even
considered a man and everybodyhas that view.
Society views you like that,but you yourself, as a man, you
view yourself like that, and sothat right there shows you the
(08:23):
need for brotherhood, foraccountability.
It's difficult for us becausewe don't get together.
Yeah, like I don't want you toknow or think that I'm weak,
that's fast, yeah what did weget that from, though?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
About what you just said about, it's in it.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
It's in us, yeah, cause we're built to be, it's
innate with us, right, like eventhe most.
Uh, how, how do I say this?
Um, back in the day, we used tocall them, uh, like the really
scrawny kid.
That wasn't manly and masculineenough.
We call them like a nerd orsomething.
Yeah, scrawny kid, that wasn'tmanly and masculine enough.
(09:15):
We call him like a nerd orsomething.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, evenhim.
If you push him in a corner andyou keep pushing him in a corner
, right after a while, that mangonna that, that man, this is
gonna, yeah, you know, stand upin him at some point and he's
gonna do something, right, yeah,manly, it, manly, it's in us to
be a man, right?
You get what I'm saying.
So I don't want you to thinkthat I'm weak, I don't want you
to think that I missed the markor that I can't do, and so then
(09:40):
we become isolated and that's astrategy, that's a strategic
approach from the enemy, becauseonce you're isolated, enemy can
do whatever he wants with you,as opposed to being with my
brother, as opposed to watchthis being with my brothers.
(10:01):
You get what I'm saying.
Yeah, if you got a problem withme, you know what I mean,
you're like, I can't stand Smith, man, I want to take him out.
If I'm with four or five of mybrothers, you ain't trying to do
that, yeah, but if I get aloneby myself, man, I take him.
(10:24):
Now, you know well what do youthink the enemy is doing Right?
And so, yeah, um, the enemy isdoing right, and so, yeah, um,
we as men.
That's a good question, man,how do we?
How do we?
How do we?
(10:45):
I guess, first of all, identifythat within us.
You know that, hey, listen, youknow you need to let go of this
, this, this feeling that I gotto be strong all the time, yeah,
right, because if I'm and Imean that's the reality of it,
(11:06):
man, we, we do get weak.
Amen, yeah, right, yeah, we doget weak, amen, yeah, right.
Yeah, we do get weak, but welearned this from our fathers.
They learned it from theirfathers.
Don't you cry, man up.
You better handle that.
You know what I'm saying.
And then don't let a woman sayit, because if a woman telling
(11:32):
you you weak, you know well,okay, I may be feeling weak, but
I ain't gonna let her talk tome like that.
So I gotta show that I ain'tweak.
When you are weak, you get whatI'm saying, yeah, and so that
isolation becomes the thing ofchoice at that point, yeah, when
you're isolated, devil's gotfree reign.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, you got free reign.
So for me, for me.
So when I think aboutbrotherhood, I'm gonna start
with brotherhood before I talkabout accountability, because
first of all, we don't likeaccountability, we just like to
do things on, we figure it out.
But anyways, let me startbrotherhood.
So I'm gonna get.
I like to give two differentperspectives.
I like to give it for onebefore I became saved and while
(12:16):
I'm saved.
So, just so whoever's watchingus, you know I'm not giving it
only from a Christian worldview.
So my mother had eight children.
So, growing up with that largefamily because you know, back in
the day, that's what they didthey had children a lot, lots of
family.
Because you know, back in theday, that's what they did they
had children a lot, lots of them.
You know what I mean.
And so growing up with six boys,including myself so five boys
(12:39):
including myself we became likea brotherhood, like.
So when I think aboutbrotherhood, I think about a
unity of at the time it was justyoung men about a unity of at
the time it was just young men.
And then we loved each other.
We were we're blood brothers,but the love we showed to each
other was like it was beautifuland kind of like what you
(13:01):
pointed out, like if you were alot of brothers and I got a
problem with you.
You know I ain't gonna approachyou because you look at like
man, this dude like got four orfive other brothers I got like
six of them I got to deal with.
So that's kind of like how itwas for us.
So when I was coming up it waslike, nah, we don't want to mess
with that family.
Right there they like clickedup and it was not only us, it
(13:22):
wasn't only the brothers, but italso was the cousins.
So it was like this brotherhoodthat we grew up with.
And then, so you know, as weage, everybody began to change.
And I'm going somewhere withthis, because now we got whole
little men, little young boys,growing up without a daddy,
that's a daddy that's not theregiving them structure.
(13:43):
So we're all like little boystrying to figure it out on our
own.
Somebody got a problem with you.
Well, they got a problem withall us.
You know that was kind of likethe mindset growing up.
And as we grew up, you knoweverybody trying to figure it
out on our own.
Somebody got a problem with you.
Well, they got a problem withall of us.
You know that was kind of likethe mindset growing up.
And as we grew up, you know,everybody started going their
own way.
Then that brotherhood startedto slowly separate because
everybody into their own thingnow.
(14:04):
Now it's like you got a problemwith me.
That's your problem, my problemand it came to the point as we
began to age.
It's like it wasn't like areyou okay anymore?
You know, back when we wereyoung man, you good, you know
you good.
Now you ain't even checking onme daily, are you okay?
Or good morning, good evening,or good night, right, they got
(14:25):
this trend going on right nowwhere they calling dudes I'm
just calling to say goodnight.
It ain't that no more.
I mean the men calling dudes tosay goodnight.
So now I found myself and I'mjust saying my story.
I found myself before I becamea Christian, where I wasn't even
(14:45):
hanging around my brothersanymore.
Now you, in high school, yougot friends now.
So now those high schoolfriends, you, you know, I play
basketball.
So now those friends you heard,now they became like your own
brotherhood.
But there were brotherhood, butwith no accountability.
That so that there's a.
There's a a separation betweenthe brotherhood and
(15:06):
accountability.
And that's why, before I get tothe church, part so in the
world, I had this brotherhoodwith no.
And that's why, before I get tothe church, part so in the
world, I had this brotherhoodwith no accountability.
But he's like, from a secularor worldly standpoint, they're
telling you things opposition toGod's will and will.
Now you may have some dudesthat say, hey, you need to go to
school, you need to do this.
You know there were some decentdudes within the brotherhood
(15:27):
because there was always thatone you know what I mean that
always that one.
You know what I mean thatalways that one we always call
that one that's he's a hater.
Man you hate.
Man, you want me to get allthese women.
Man you hate because you can'tget any women.
You know what I mean.
So you always had that onesharing that with you.
So when you think about abrother, who you think about
community of of young men orbrothers, or upcoming young men
or men that could come togetherand encourage and instill and
(15:48):
give that that man, thatindividual man or group of
brothers, some encouragement.
Because, like we, we getweighted down.
So when I was in the worldbefore I got saved, we went out,
partied with my friends, thisand that.
Yeah, it was a brotherhood, butstill no accountability.
But at the same time we infusedthat encouragement in us.
But there were times that thebrothers, the brotherhood, went
(16:13):
a separate way.
It's like once the circle, likeeverybody, started getting into
different things.
It just collapsed Right andthen fast forward to the church.
So when I think about thebrotherhood in the church, I
think about Jesus.
Jesus being God in the flesh,had 12 disciples, like a man
(16:37):
with so much power, man and Godwith so much power, and
surrounding himself with 12.
So when I think about JesusChrist, I say, well, jesus
Christ had his littlebrotherhood yeah, little circle.
I said, well, jesus Christ hadhis little brotherhood yeah, a
little circle.
So when I think of so, when Igot in the church that's why I
thank God for the church Daryl,I have to say this you know I
(16:58):
don't want to get all emotional,because the church really I
want people that's really that'swatching this.
I want them to understand theimpact of a Christian fellowship
, church or brotherhood, peoplethat love the lord.
Because you think about all yourlife, you've been told the
wrong things to do this, do that, do this.
(17:18):
Have more than one woman, dothat.
You.
You're always being taught thewrong thing.
Now, when you get in the church, it's like the opposite, like
wait a minute, like this is.
I'm not, not used to this.
You know what I mean.
So that's why I thank God forthe brotherhood.
And so when I got into thechurch, the brotherhood was
different to me and I loved it.
It was like texting, call, youknow, even if it wasn't like a
(17:42):
verbal conversation.
You know because you know, man,we don't talk as much as women
and there are studies that womendo talk.
I mean I'm not throwing shadeon women, but there are studies
that women talk, talk.
I mean I'm not throwing shadeon women, but there are studies
that women talk more than men.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, men, don't we have an issue expressing
ourselves yeah, yeah.
So women tend to do better withexpression, right, right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
So when it came with the church, the brotherhood,
they wrap their arms around meand say, hey, we got you.
And then it was like textmessages, phone calls here and
there, fellowships, prayer,bible studies, and I enjoyed it
because I like, wow, because,like the time that I was low, I
get the encouragement Not fromone brother you got, I'm getting
it from all different angles,like man, this brother, like we
(18:22):
encourage, and it was, and itwas going both ways, like, yeah,
I'm filled you week, I got you,you feel, and I really, really,
really enjoyed it.
In addition to that, now, whatI didn't get in the world I was
getting in the church, thataccountability when you wrong,
you wrong, but you need a realbrother to tell you that you
(18:46):
wrong.
And you got to receive it.
Because what most men do whenthey wrong don't like to receive
it from a brother well, it hasto be a certain type of brother,
because if the brother isliving in error say, for ie, a
brother's cheating on his wifeyou telling me not to cheat,
(19:07):
dude, like, come on man, likereally don't be no hypocrite
dude, like you're doing the samething.
You know what I mean.
It gotta be a brother thatreally, really loved the lord
and generally have a love foryour soul, to tell you what's
right.
Hey, man, I just want to letyou know that I love you.
But I got to tell you this youknow, the Bible says that open
(19:27):
rebuke is better than secretlove.
I got to tell the reason whyI'm telling you this is because
I love you and that's what Icall like a real brother, that
you love me so much.
Are you going to pray for me?
Pray for me.
So, but I believe, spiritual tosome extent, because of we have
(19:49):
to work nine to fives in thesociety.
Some subtle way the enemy hasslowly is breaking that
brotherhood up, even in thechurch.
Because now it's not likebrothers intentionally say that
I don't want to talk to you, Ican't talk to you.
It's because now brothers gotto worry about okay, I got my
wife, I got my children, I gotthis and that.
(20:11):
And then you find yourselfdrifting and you find yourself,
man, I ain't talking to thisbrother.
And then you call a break likeman, what you up, what you been
up to, yeah, life is life andman, life be life.
So that's the thing, man.
So so that's that's kind oflike what?
What comes to my mind when Ithink about brotherhood and
accountability?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
yeah, I guess maybe that's where I was trying to go,
because I like the way you didit you secular than church,
right, but I think I thinkthere's an element there that
(20:57):
you could see in both if youseparated like that.
I was just trying to encompassall of it.
Yeah, in general, brother,brotherhood, right, and I think
you know when you went thesecular route it made me think
about you know how I came up asa young kid, so I was growing up
, you know, uh, west hollywood,carver ranches and, and so I
came up in the 80s and the 90s,right, and I can remember days
(21:24):
going outside in the 80s whereour neighborhood started to
change, because you know youstart getting the drug you know
cocaine, crack epidemic at thatpoint in time, right, but we
still had enough of, I want tosay, brotherhood and
accountability even then in theneighborhood.
(21:47):
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, you know the old adagethat we always be talking about.
You know it takes a village toraise.
Yeah, right, we, we kind of hadthat back then and I attribute
that.
You know I look at that asbrotherhood and accountability.
You get what I'm saying.
Like, I remember being able togo outside with the neighborhood
(22:08):
kids, friends, you know,cousins and whatnot, right,
brothers, cousin, all thatfamily, and I remember even that
we call them d boys back then,yeah, yeah, yeah, even them.
Back then they were older thanus but they were still a part of
the, the village mentality, thebrotherhood and accountability.
(22:30):
And I'm gonna give you anexample of what I mean by that.
We would go outside, they wouldplay ball with us, they would
play basketball with us, theywould play football with us,
right, and you know they didthey thing we knew what they
were doing.
Right, they pull out a lot ofmoney because this is back in
the time when, um, you know, icecream trucks would be coming,
(22:50):
you know, up and down the street, right.
And then you know d boy be like, hey, hey, little man, you want
a little, you want a littledrink, soda pop, or whatever.
You know these boys be like,hey, hey, little man, you want a
little drink, soda pop orwhatever, you know, ice cream,
whatever.
And we were running, we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, here you go.
They pull out this big wad ofmoney, right, they give it to us
.
Go and get you something, man,and then get me this too.
They wanted us to get themstuff and they bring my change.
(23:12):
Ok, cool, we did that to us.
That was still brotherhoodaccountability, because they
were looking out for us, right,so they pay for our stuff, right
, they will play ball with us,right, and even if it got a
little too hot like they got atransaction that's about to go
down at the park and it wasgetting a little too hot they
(23:34):
tell us don't go to the parktoday.
Y'all stay home.
Don't go to the park today,it's going to get a little rough
.
Ok, so we didn't go to the park.
We would stay home, right,right, even during the
conversations we would have withthem, I remember them telling
us hey, don't do what we'redoing.
They would tell us this we werethe little little little fellas
(23:58):
Right, right, right, and theywere older.
Right.
They said don't you do this.
They'd be like we have to dothis because that little check,
grandma, getting that ain'tenough to make up to make ends
meet.
And they will be like y'all goto school, y'all get your
education, don't do what we'redoing, we have to do this.
This is their speech to us,their mentality.
(24:19):
To me.
I see I saw the brotherhood andthe accountability even in that
.
You get what I'm saying andthen eventually you stay with
that life.
Eventually they got locked upor dead, they're in the grave.
You get what I'm saying and sowe kind of lost that Right and I
(24:41):
think what you were getting at.
And I'm trying to tie it alltogether because even when you
went to the church, right, andyou now experience, you know,
the brotherhood, theaccountability.
Hey, brother, nick, I'm goingto shoot you a text God bless
you how you feeling.
Shoot you a verse.
God bless you how you feeling.
Shoot you a verse this, that,another, and you you're feeling
that.
But even now it's kind ofpulling away, you know, with
(25:02):
brotherhood in the church, kindof getting separated right.
I see something consistent inboth of those secular and you
know, spiritual or church, yeah,yeah, yeah.
And going back to thatspiritual warfare, yeah, systems
, yeah, right, systems that pullyou away and apart, right, like
(25:22):
growing up in the 80s we allhad that village mentality,
right.
Even them d-boys respected theparents in the neighborhood.
We're not gonna do that infront of miss may house, you
know, we're not gonna do that.
You know, if they had that carwith the booming system, they'll
turn it down coming down youknow, that's right they
respected the church, house andall that type stuff.
(25:45):
Right, we're still a close-knitfamily, right, but then systems
started pulling us away andapart.
Right, you know they eventuallygot caught up doing you.
You stay in that lifestyle.
That's gonna catch up with you,right, but then your mamas and
your daddies started separatingand all of this stuff started
happening and you lose thatvillage mentality.
(26:05):
Right, the brotherhood, onceagain isolation.
You know that stuff startshappening.
Same thing in the church.
Now, right, and I know youfocus, we're focusing on men.
Yes, father, yes, yes, sir, yes, sir, well, listen.
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