July 7, 2025 • 26 mins
Brotherhood is a divine antidote to the isolation systems working to pull men apart in today's world. We explore how the cultural demand for men to display constant strength prevents them from acknowledging weakness and seeking connection.
• Christ himself demonstrated human vulnerability in the Garden of Gethsemane, showing that weakness is not a failure of manhood but part of humanity
• Modern systems force men to divide limited time between God, family, work, and self, often leaving no room for brotherhood
• Men often don't respond to outreach from brothers because they haven't accepted their own weakness
• The paradox that a woman can make mistakes and still be a woman, but society tells men they're "not men" if they show weakness
• Aging naturally reveals our physical limitations, creating opportunity for inner strength to grow
• Intentional brotherhood requires fighting against isolation through regular connection, not just annual events
• When men unite with singular purpose, they create powerful protection and strength for themselves and others
• Responding to brothers' texts and calls works both ways—don't just reach out when you need something
Remember that Jesus Christ is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and through Him, we can embrace both our humanity and our strength.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's okay to look at Christ in that moment, and what
the scripture is trying to showyou is that he's human.
Yeah, and I think that might bethe lesson for us men who
wrestle with it.
Listen, you're weak.
What does that mean?
It means that you're thebrotherhood once again isolation
(00:32):
.
You know that stuff startshappening.
Same thing in the church.
Now, right, and I know you focus, we're focusing on men.
Yeah, yes, sir.
Well, listen, these systems areout here and it's hard, bro, we
got to go make that money.
(00:54):
You got to go take care of yourbusiness, handle your business
Systems.
That's pulling us apart, right.
So the challenge is for us asmen.
Right, in general, you talkabout brotherhood.
(01:16):
Right, how do we be there foreach other?
Because we're experiencingthese same things, right, you
get what I'm saying when thesesystems are pulling us apart.
Man, how you been man.
It's been a while.
Yeah, I know, man Working.
You know what I mean.
And then we, like you said, wewent back to, we went to that
(01:38):
new saying which I like now Life, be life.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's what I said.
That's what I'm saying.
It's not intentional.
I like how you're sayingsystems, but go ahead.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
The challenge is for us to.
You know, we got to fight backagainst it.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Even in the midst of having towork two jobs, three jobs, we
got to figure this thing out towhere.
Hey, bro, we got gotta be therefor our brother, you know what
I'm saying yeah, we gotta bethere for our brothers.
(02:11):
Yeah, and I know it's a tacticand a strategy of the enemy,
because once you pull, once youpull those men, you imagine what
, what could be done.
Yeah, that's that's why I wentto the Million man March,
because that that was phenomenal, bro.
Like, if you really, you reallythink about men, you get a
(02:32):
group of men together, right,just just just a group of men.
I remember listening to a younglady one time and she was
talking about you know, wealways be picking on the Muslim
brothers with the bean pies andthe bow tie and all that stuff.
But she was like, she's like Ialways respected them because
(02:53):
you will always see a bunch ofmen and them fellas in their
fellowship where they, wherethey, where they kind of band
together.
And you know, I really looked at, I was like she got a point.
She got a point, she got apoint and she said something
that was so profound to me andit was not only what she said,
(03:16):
but it was how she said it.
She was like, whenever I seethem, she gets an overwhelming,
an overwhelming sense ofprotection that she feels seeing
, you know, about 20, 30brothers lined up together.
You see what I'm saying yeah,that's like it really escapes me
(03:38):
trying, I'm really trying tocapture, you know words, to be
able to articulate that.
But, man, if you got, trust me,when you have a bunch of men
with a singular focus andpurpose standing together, man,
that's some power.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, trust me, that's some power right there,
um yeah, I believe in um, ironsharpens iron and, and you know,
I think, what we can do as men,um, we need to respond.
Respond Because, like, so forinstance, like most men may get
a text and I'm busy right now, Ican't Because sometimes, like
(04:15):
you know, you have this brother,especially like in a church,
you fellowship with individuals,you pray, and then you try to
instill words of affirmation,encouragement your brothers, but
when you don't hear from them,of affirmation, encouragement in
your brothers, but when youdon't hear from them for a while
, you send them a text, you givethem a call.
Sometimes you don't even get ananswer and you're like man, I
want to know what's going onwith my brother, like, and they
just won't answer.
(04:36):
So I think, for men, they justneed to respond and it don't
matter because I get it Like we,you know we're going to cave,
we were going on man cave, like,I don't want to be bothered
with.
You know, you may see a text, abrother send you a text.
Look, I don't even feel liketalking right now because we get
(04:57):
like that, the sisters, now,the sisters, they'll respond,
the sisters will answer, so forme.
So I'm going to share myexperience because I like how
you brought up the sisters willanswer so it so for me.
So I'm gonna, you know, I'mgonna share my, my experience
because I like how you broughtup the sisters, because this is
what, this is what we go through.
If you want to, this is thereality.
Right, we're christian men,we're fathers.
Uh, we, we, we got wives, youknow.
We, we got our children and wehave to work.
(05:19):
We have to work.
So, because these systems thatare in place, so we gotta got to
spend time with God.
You know you do not want totake God out.
You got to devote yourself toGod and prayer, spend time with
your wife.
If you got children, spend timewith your children.
But also you got to make thatmoney.
You got to work.
(05:40):
In that.
You know, working Typicallyyou'll be working eight hours,
depending on how far is yourcommute.
You're pretty much out of thehouse between nine to 10 hours
and if you sleep for eight,eight hours, you still got what?
Six hours left, right, andthat's small, and they're just
doing that five days a week.
So a bit about a bit about mytestimony.
(06:00):
So when I find myself working,I think a brother got to be
spiritual enough to know whenitself is drifting, because the
devil man he is so kind of, likeyou said, spiritual warfare.
He'll slowly pull a man awayfrom his devotion with god and
away from the brothers, becausethe minute you see a brother not
intact connect with god likethat, he's gonna start drifting
(06:22):
away from the brotherhood andthe fellowship and
accountability.
Because now he's going to findhimself so far away.
Man, how did I get there?
Why am I not talking to BrotherNick?
No more, we used to talk allthe time.
We used to fellowship, we usedto break bread.
So I got to share this story.
I know you're here, but I gotto share this.
It was one season that I wasworking so much that I ain't
(06:46):
even taught the brothers likethat.
I was just like work, work,work.
But because of the spiritualaspect of me, the godly,
spiritual, holy spirit that'sinside of me, I caught myself.
I said wait a minute.
I find myself I'm becoming likeworldly, because now you, I'm
around these worldly individualsat my workplace.
So because you know, theycomplain a lot yeah, oh, I ain't
(07:08):
getting paid that much, I'mtired of management.
And I found myself doing thatand I caught myself.
I started thinking about Moseswhen he was in the wilderness
and the children of Israel,israel's complaining, yeah, and
I'm like, wait a minute, I hadto catch myself.
I said whoa and I and I calledyou.
I said I said I need to talk toyou, I feel like I'm drifting
(07:30):
man, I need to talk to you and Ithink if men are honest so a
person may be watching thisright now They'd be like, oh
yeah, man, he going throughsomething.
No, I ain't going through thisbecause I'm honest and I think
men got to be honest withthemselves that they find
themselves drifting or they'renot fellowship with somebody
that could hold them accountableor encourage them.
They got to, you know, becareful of that.
(07:53):
They got to be like.
You know, I find myselfdrifting.
Let me call a brother Sometimes.
If they're not responding,sometimes they need to take the
initiative.
Because the last time I checkedthe phone, work both ways Right,
because what I find myself?
I find myself always calling.
Now I'm always calling, textingbrothers.
But what this is what I findthat's very interesting A
brother that haven't it could beinside the church or outside
(08:15):
the church, family friends.
Oh man, you don't call me nomore.
Let's just say remember, I justsaid I'm doing that's calling,
I'm doing that's calling, I'm.
Let's just say, remember, Ijust said I'm doing that's
calling, I'm doing that'scalling, I'm doing that's
texting, right.
And then the minute, likeyou'll hear from me for three to
four months, oh yeah, uh, youdon't call me, no more, you
don't mess with me, no more.
And I'm like I think the phoneworked both ways.
(08:35):
And men have I don't know ifsisters do it, but men have a a
bad habit of saying that stuff,a really bad habit.
And I think for men they gottatake the initiative like man.
I ain't here from.
I know nick text me.
I ain't responding to him, butat least let me let me pick up
the phone, let me call him, letme just check up on him.
Don't and and don't just callme because you want something
(08:58):
out of me.
Oh, I'm broke.
You know right, call, call me,see how you doing.
And I think preachers go throughthat too, because preachers
they exert so much energy andtry to give, give, give, give,
but it's nobody pouring backinto the preacher.
You know your dad was apreacher, so I'm pretty much
sure you could talk to this morethan I can.
So nobody's pouring into theman of God.
(09:20):
He's the one that's pouring,but nobody's pouring into him.
And I think, for men that findthemselves drifting and I'm
saying this because I had tocatch myself, for those men
that's watching me they got topick up the phone.
Let me pick up the phone, man.
You know what?
I got this message.
Let me call my brother.
Hey, man, I see you on YouTube.
Man, how you doing, bro?
(09:41):
I think that's where it startsfrom.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I think the biggest issue no-transcript, just don't.
(10:05):
That's good.
That's hard, though, yeah,that's hard to identify that and
to accept that, especially howwe came up, where you had to be
strong.
You ain't no man if you ain'tstrong.
Think about that for a second.
This is why I've said it amillion times, I'm going to keep
saying it, because it is a truestatement.
(10:27):
Man, chris Rock was on tosomething.
Listen your very existence.
They strip that away from you.
If you can't do what a man issupposed to do, a woman can do
all these things.
She's still a woman, that'strue.
A child can mess up.
They still a child.
A pet can do all this stuff.
(10:47):
We love these dogs and theymess on the floor and I stop.
You know hit them, but you knowthat's still a dog and we still
gonna treat them and love them.
But let that man mess up.
You ain't no man.
Think about that.
Like you're very the thing thatyou are is taken away in the
eyes of society.
(11:07):
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think is taken awayin the eyes of society?
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think the enemy cameafter the man?
Because the man representspower, strength, all of that
stuff we've been saying.
So here it is.
You have to come to therealization that, man, listen,
you don't have the capacity tobe strong all the time.
(11:32):
I like that, yeah.
Once you get to the point whereyou can accept that, then you
have to get to the point towhere you are very intentional.
You have to get to the point towhere you are very intentional
and I think that's where you arein terms of, you know, call
texts, you know, do these typesof things?
(11:54):
See, the man is not picking upthat phone, he's not responding
to a text message or a call,because he's struggling with the
fact that I got to be strong.
Wow, he ain't accepted yet.
Wow, do you see what I'm to bestrong?
Wow, he ain't accepted yet.
Wow, you see what I'm saying?
Yeah, he hasn't accepted thatyet.
Why?
Because that's just the way itis.
(12:15):
I have to be strong, yeah,right.
And if you are not doing thosethings you know we keep
enumerating them Protector,power, provider, right, you mess
up in any one of those thattrust me.
That man in his, in histhoughts and in his minds he's,
he's wrestling with it, he'strying to figure it out why?
(12:37):
Because I have to be strong,because if I'm not strong, I'm
not a man.
Wow, do you get what I'm saying?
Wow, yeah.
So now intention you mademention of Jesus, which we
should always look to.
Jesus chose 12.
But then there was also Peter,james and John.
Yeah, that would go further.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
With him.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, so he was intentional.
Yes, right, and I think thathelps.
I know it helps me becausehere's God in flesh, you know,
and here it is.
He's got to walk to, you know,the Garden of Gethsemane and he
pulls on them.
He's like man, y'all come alittle further with me.
(13:20):
They fall asleep, right.
And this is where you know, I'malways like looking at him
during this moment and I'mtrying to learn.
I'm, you know, I'm.
Sometimes I'll just sit andwhen I say I'm looking at, I'm
talking about in in my spirit,like I'm trying to look at him
during this moment, right,because he's going through it.
(13:43):
Right, like taking these threewith me and going a little
further.
I need y'all to, I need y'allto pray with me.
Man, yeah, they go to sleep.
He goes a little further, right, and sometimes it's even
difficult to talk about becauseyou don't even like to talk
(14:04):
about Christ or God as weak.
He was weak.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You see what I'm saying as a man.
That makes me feel like, whatam I looking at?
It makes me feel a little weird.
You get what I'm saying?
Right, because I still strugglewith it sometimes, because I
come from that era.
Man, you be a man, you bestrong and trust me.
I understand what my father andgrandfather fathers were trying
(14:32):
to tell me and teach me.
You get what I'm saying, but itwas so much of you.
Be a man.
You be a man.
You get up and you better dothis and you better do that.
And they had good intentions.
But there's no room for you toeven look at.
Well, what do I do if I'm weak?
Yeah, whose shoulder do youlean?
(14:52):
Like, yeah, I got I don't.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, like you know, even backthen, uh, a mama's boy was kind
of frowned upon.
You get what I'm saying.
Like you're gonna look at.
No, no, get out here and youbetter do.
You know what I mean.
Be a man, you be this, you bethat.
And if you can't do that, towhatever degree, you wrestle
(15:15):
with that.
Wow, because society is quickto point that finger and say you
ain't no man, you saw, that'swhat they say you saw, you ain't
a man.
Wow, you get what I'm saying,and and so just the idea of
being weak is shun that.
So let me get back to Christ.
I'm looking at him and it'slike man.
(15:38):
He's, he's praying, he's inagony and he's like Father.
I don't want to do this.
What is that?
It's weakness, right?
I think the lesson for me, andI'm still trying to wrestle with
it, I think the lesson for meand, I would hope, everybody
(16:01):
else, but you know they'rewatching you, but for me the
lesson is it's okay to look atChrist in that moment, and what
the scripture is trying to showyou is that he's human.
Yeah, and I think that might bethe lesson for us men who
wrestle with it.
Listen, you're weak.
What does that mean?
(16:22):
It means that you're human.
Yeah, I like that.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, like we are.
So I gotta be strong, I gottabe strong, I gotta be strong
that we don't even we miss thefact that we're human.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's deep yeah, you miss that.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like what, really, then, is your view of you being
strong?
You pass human, you superhuman,I mean I like Superman, but you
know it's.
I think the revelation of thatseeing Christ like that is the
(17:02):
fact that he's human andhumanity.
As a man, you get weak, yeah.
So once you're able to acceptthat, now be intentional
intentional with God andintentional with brothers,
brotherhood you get you two orthree that can go a little bit
(17:24):
further with you.
Yeah, I like that.
Even when they can't go further, you go pray to god and when
you say amen, you get up, likechrist did, and you say
nevertheless, your will be doneyeah, yeah, yeah, that's good
man.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Brotherhood and accountability, man.
We could have kept going onthis one man, because you know.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
This one here was a struggle.
I'm like man.
I had so much in my head that Ireally couldn't articulate.
I'm like man like everythingwas just flooding.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
No, but it's good that we talked about this,
because there are men thatbelieve that they need to be by
themselves.
There are men that believe thatthey need to be by themselves,
like I don't want to do it, I'mgood, I'm doing good and maybe,
maybe they've been hurt in thepast Backstab.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I think what it is is they're incapable of seeing the
other side.
That's what I was trying to say.
Yeah, like you can't see it,yeah, but you know what was
helping me to see it?
I don't mind sharing my age.
I'm, I'm, I'm.
God bless me to be 50.
I just turned 50.
Oh really, yeah, bro, I didn'tknow that.
God bless you, god bless me,big five.
Oh, yes, sir, I'm blessed.
(18:29):
Yeah, and I and I'm.
You know, I'm always proud ofthat, because I remember when
they were saying we couldn't getpast 25 as black men.
Wow, yeah, I wear that like I'mhow old, you 50?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I made it this.
This conversation is definitelyneeded.
Um, it like it.
Like I said, they encouraged mebecause it brought me back to
the movie, uh, the forge.
Yeah, you remember when youwatched the movie, all the
brothers were in a circle and Ithink they had their sons, sure
and then that older man wasinstilling, um, he just was
empowering that younger man andso when I thought about the
brotherhood, I thought aboutthat movie and there's other
(19:04):
movies that are out there, butthat's the one that kind of like
stood out to me because Iwatched it with my son and then
I'm like man, this is how abrotherhood should look like and
, thank be to God, there arepreachers out there that are
doing what they can to do what Ijust said in terms of
brotherhood.
They're trying to bring mentogether.
Um, I know our, our minister.
He have a brotherhood's call umevery friday.
(19:26):
They do that to empower,encourage men, because we
showing up needed we be needinga daily bread, so every friday
morning, so they get on.
Um, you know us men, and we geton and we hear word.
If you're not catching on, zoomit, you know they.
They have it on facebook, theyhave on social media.
So, thank god, and also, I knowon a yearly basis they also
have like a men's conferencethat they go to.
(19:47):
I know the sisters have moreyeah, the sisters have more
conferences, but I think allyear round, from, I mean,
whoever watching me I think thatwe should probably create
systems like that.
Well, it shouldn't just be likeonce or twice a year, but this
is something that should beconstant, every month or so or
every quarter, you know, because, like you said, these systems
(20:09):
are in place that push us awayfrom hooking up with our
brothers.
Yeah, and that's the thing thatwe have to face.
So we're in constant war withthe systems and, yeah, that's
that's hard sometimes but yeah,I just want to just reiterate,
and then we'll let it go.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Man, just, uh, just the, you know, having the
ability to say, doc, I'm notstrong, I don't have the
capability to be strong all thetime.
I think that's where, where,where we really need to kind of
figure out, yeah, how to do that, yeah, and I'll tell you what.
(20:46):
What helped me, what helped meto kind of figure that out, is
actually getting older.
Oh, getting older, because youknow, as you get older, man,
yeah, you don't have thestrength of youth.
That's right.
Like you just don't like.
Yeah, listen, man, back in myday, man, you know we were
(21:08):
talking about lifting weights inthe gym and all that stuff
right A while ago.
Back in the day, man, I was allright.
But, listen, I was all right.
Well, listen, I put 300 poundson my chest and go to work.
Yeah, can't do that, no more.
Man, listen, there's somethingabout you know, getting older
(21:33):
and hear what I'm saying.
I'm not saying you don't.
I'm not saying that I'mphysically weak.
What I'm saying is I lost thestrength of youth, meaning.
You know, in my 20ss I pushed300 pounds off my chest.
I don't have that anymore.
Yeah, so then that forces me tokind of face it.
(21:54):
I don't know if that makessense to you.
It's forcing me to face thatlike I used to be able to do
this.
I can't do that.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying,right, right, we love basketball
.
I just jump up and grab the rimright.
I can't do that.
And just look up now, man, andeven that's becoming a struggle,
(22:15):
because your eyesight getbetter.
So so what I'm saying to you isthe trade-off, though, is that
my inner man is getting stronger.
Yeah, so as a young man, Icouldn't even see the other side
(22:35):
of weakness.
I couldn't see it Just strength, strong.
I got to be strong.
I was told to be strong andguess what?
I had the physical capabilityto do it.
I'm strong.
I don't have the physicalcapability like I used to have
now, but my inner man is gettingstronger because I have to rely
(22:58):
on it more.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.
Now I'm able to kind of see hey, man, you don't have the
capacity to be strong all thetime.
So I now have to look at thereality, which is the weakness.
That's what I was trying to tieinto what I was saying before
(23:23):
with Christ and whatnot.
And once you were able to lookat that, right then you'd be
intentional.
I wish I learned that at 25.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, Amen, amen, hey , y'all, that's.
That's.
It is a wrap.
This was a beautiful, wonderful, wonderful episode.
So y'all put it in a comment.
So put some comments.
Put something in the commentsection in terms of fatherhood,
encourage a father.
Today it is Father's.
I call it Father's Day month.
Well, father's Day month.
I don't know if that makessense, but Father's Month,
(23:52):
father's.
Month yeah, we celebrate thewhole month and we're striving
to bring encouragement tofathers because we show enough
need it, but y'all it is a wrap.
We show enough needed, buty'all it is a wrap.
This episode is a wrap.
The time is well spent, godbless, yes, yes, yes.
So remember that Jesus Christ,he is the King of Kings and he's
the Lord of Lords.
Be blessed.
It's okay to look at Christ in that moment, and what
the scripture is trying to showyou is that he's human.
Yeah, and I think that might bethe lesson for us men who
wrestle with it.
Listen, you're weak.
What does that mean?
It means that you're thebrotherhood once again isolation
(00:32):
.
You know that stuff startshappening.
Same thing in the church.
Now, right, and I know you focus, we're focusing on men.
Yeah, yes, sir.
Well, listen, these systems areout here and it's hard, bro, we
got to go make that money.
(00:54):
You got to go take care of yourbusiness, handle your business
Systems.
That's pulling us apart, right.
So the challenge is for us asmen.
Right, in general, you talkabout brotherhood.
(01:16):
Right, how do we be there foreach other?
Because we're experiencingthese same things, right, you
get what I'm saying when thesesystems are pulling us apart.
Man, how you been man.
It's been a while.
Yeah, I know, man Working.
You know what I mean.
And then we, like you said, wewent back to, we went to that
(01:38):
new saying which I like now Life, be life.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's what I said.
That's what I'm saying.
It's not intentional.
I like how you're sayingsystems, but go ahead.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
The challenge is for us to.
You know, we got to fight backagainst it.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Even in the midst of having towork two jobs, three jobs, we
got to figure this thing out towhere.
Hey, bro, we got gotta be therefor our brother, you know what
I'm saying yeah, we gotta bethere for our brothers.
(02:11):
Yeah, and I know it's a tacticand a strategy of the enemy,
because once you pull, once youpull those men, you imagine what
, what could be done.
Yeah, that's that's why I wentto the Million man March,
because that that was phenomenal, bro.
Like, if you really, you reallythink about men, you get a
(02:32):
group of men together, right,just just just a group of men.
I remember listening to a younglady one time and she was
talking about you know, wealways be picking on the Muslim
brothers with the bean pies andthe bow tie and all that stuff.
But she was like, she's like Ialways respected them because
(02:53):
you will always see a bunch ofmen and them fellas in their
fellowship where they, wherethey, where they kind of band
together.
And you know, I really looked at, I was like she got a point.
She got a point, she got apoint and she said something
that was so profound to me andit was not only what she said,
(03:16):
but it was how she said it.
She was like, whenever I seethem, she gets an overwhelming,
an overwhelming sense ofprotection that she feels seeing
, you know, about 20, 30brothers lined up together.
You see what I'm saying yeah,that's like it really escapes me
(03:38):
trying, I'm really trying tocapture, you know words, to be
able to articulate that.
But, man, if you got, trust me,when you have a bunch of men
with a singular focus andpurpose standing together, man,
that's some power.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, trust me, that's some power right there,
um yeah, I believe in um, ironsharpens iron and, and you know,
I think, what we can do as men,um, we need to respond.
Respond Because, like, so forinstance, like most men may get
a text and I'm busy right now, Ican't Because sometimes, like
(04:15):
you know, you have this brother,especially like in a church,
you fellowship with individuals,you pray, and then you try to
instill words of affirmation,encouragement your brothers, but
when you don't hear from them,of affirmation, encouragement in
your brothers, but when youdon't hear from them for a while
, you send them a text, you givethem a call.
Sometimes you don't even get ananswer and you're like man, I
want to know what's going onwith my brother, like, and they
just won't answer.
(04:36):
So I think, for men, they justneed to respond and it don't
matter because I get it Like we,you know we're going to cave,
we were going on man cave, like,I don't want to be bothered
with.
You know, you may see a text, abrother send you a text.
Look, I don't even feel liketalking right now because we get
(04:57):
like that, the sisters, now,the sisters, they'll respond,
the sisters will answer, so forme.
So I'm going to share myexperience because I like how
you brought up the sisters willanswer so it so for me.
So I'm gonna, you know, I'mgonna share my, my experience
because I like how you broughtup the sisters, because this is
what, this is what we go through.
If you want to, this is thereality.
Right, we're christian men,we're fathers.
Uh, we, we, we got wives, youknow.
We, we got our children and wehave to work.
(05:19):
We have to work.
So, because these systems thatare in place, so we gotta got to
spend time with God.
You know you do not want totake God out.
You got to devote yourself toGod and prayer, spend time with
your wife.
If you got children, spend timewith your children.
But also you got to make thatmoney.
You got to work.
(05:40):
In that.
You know, working Typicallyyou'll be working eight hours,
depending on how far is yourcommute.
You're pretty much out of thehouse between nine to 10 hours
and if you sleep for eight,eight hours, you still got what?
Six hours left, right, andthat's small, and they're just
doing that five days a week.
So a bit about a bit about mytestimony.
(06:00):
So when I find myself working,I think a brother got to be
spiritual enough to know whenitself is drifting, because the
devil man he is so kind of, likeyou said, spiritual warfare.
He'll slowly pull a man awayfrom his devotion with god and
away from the brothers, becausethe minute you see a brother not
intact connect with god likethat, he's gonna start drifting
(06:22):
away from the brotherhood andthe fellowship and
accountability.
Because now he's going to findhimself so far away.
Man, how did I get there?
Why am I not talking to BrotherNick?
No more, we used to talk allthe time.
We used to fellowship, we usedto break bread.
So I got to share this story.
I know you're here, but I gotto share this.
It was one season that I wasworking so much that I ain't
(06:46):
even taught the brothers likethat.
I was just like work, work,work.
But because of the spiritualaspect of me, the godly,
spiritual, holy spirit that'sinside of me, I caught myself.
I said wait a minute.
I find myself I'm becoming likeworldly, because now you, I'm
around these worldly individualsat my workplace.
So because you know, theycomplain a lot yeah, oh, I ain't
(07:08):
getting paid that much, I'mtired of management.
And I found myself doing thatand I caught myself.
I started thinking about Moseswhen he was in the wilderness
and the children of Israel,israel's complaining, yeah, and
I'm like, wait a minute, I hadto catch myself.
I said whoa and I and I calledyou.
I said I said I need to talk toyou, I feel like I'm drifting
(07:30):
man, I need to talk to you and Ithink if men are honest so a
person may be watching thisright now They'd be like, oh
yeah, man, he going throughsomething.
No, I ain't going through thisbecause I'm honest and I think
men got to be honest withthemselves that they find
themselves drifting or they'renot fellowship with somebody
that could hold them accountableor encourage them.
They got to, you know, becareful of that.
(07:53):
They got to be like.
You know, I find myselfdrifting.
Let me call a brother Sometimes.
If they're not responding,sometimes they need to take the
initiative.
Because the last time I checkedthe phone, work both ways Right,
because what I find myself?
I find myself always calling.
Now I'm always calling, textingbrothers.
But what this is what I findthat's very interesting A
brother that haven't it could beinside the church or outside
(08:15):
the church, family friends.
Oh man, you don't call me nomore.
Let's just say remember, I justsaid I'm doing that's calling,
I'm doing that's calling, I'm.
Let's just say, remember, Ijust said I'm doing that's
calling, I'm doing that'scalling, I'm doing that's
texting, right.
And then the minute, likeyou'll hear from me for three to
four months, oh yeah, uh, youdon't call me, no more, you
don't mess with me, no more.
And I'm like I think the phoneworked both ways.
(08:35):
And men have I don't know ifsisters do it, but men have a a
bad habit of saying that stuff,a really bad habit.
And I think for men they gottatake the initiative like man.
I ain't here from.
I know nick text me.
I ain't responding to him, butat least let me let me pick up
the phone, let me call him, letme just check up on him.
Don't and and don't just callme because you want something
(08:58):
out of me.
Oh, I'm broke.
You know right, call, call me,see how you doing.
And I think preachers go throughthat too, because preachers
they exert so much energy andtry to give, give, give, give,
but it's nobody pouring backinto the preacher.
You know your dad was apreacher, so I'm pretty much
sure you could talk to this morethan I can.
So nobody's pouring into theman of God.
(09:20):
He's the one that's pouring,but nobody's pouring into him.
And I think, for men that findthemselves drifting and I'm
saying this because I had tocatch myself, for those men
that's watching me they got topick up the phone.
Let me pick up the phone, man.
You know what?
I got this message.
Let me call my brother.
Hey, man, I see you on YouTube.
Man, how you doing, bro?
(09:41):
I think that's where it startsfrom.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I think the biggest issue no-transcript, just don't.
(10:05):
That's good.
That's hard, though, yeah,that's hard to identify that and
to accept that, especially howwe came up, where you had to be
strong.
You ain't no man if you ain'tstrong.
Think about that for a second.
This is why I've said it amillion times, I'm going to keep
saying it, because it is a truestatement.
(10:27):
Man, chris Rock was on tosomething.
Listen your very existence.
They strip that away from you.
If you can't do what a man issupposed to do, a woman can do
all these things.
She's still a woman, that'strue.
A child can mess up.
They still a child.
A pet can do all this stuff.
(10:47):
We love these dogs and theymess on the floor and I stop.
You know hit them, but you knowthat's still a dog and we still
gonna treat them and love them.
But let that man mess up.
You ain't no man.
Think about that.
Like you're very the thing thatyou are is taken away in the
eyes of society.
(11:07):
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think is taken awayin the eyes of society?
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think the enemy cameafter the man?
Because the man representspower, strength, all of that
stuff we've been saying.
So here it is.
You have to come to therealization that, man, listen,
you don't have the capacity tobe strong all the time.
(11:32):
I like that, yeah.
Once you get to the point whereyou can accept that, then you
have to get to the point towhere you are very intentional.
You have to get to the point towhere you are very intentional
and I think that's where you arein terms of, you know, call
texts, you know, do these typesof things?
(11:54):
See, the man is not picking upthat phone, he's not responding
to a text message or a call,because he's struggling with the
fact that I got to be strong.
Wow, he ain't accepted yet.
Wow, do you see what I'm to bestrong?
Wow, he ain't accepted yet.
Wow, you see what I'm saying?
Yeah, he hasn't accepted thatyet.
Why?
Because that's just the way itis.
(12:15):
I have to be strong, yeah,right.
And if you are not doing thosethings you know we keep
enumerating them Protector,power, provider, right, you mess
up in any one of those thattrust me.
That man in his, in histhoughts and in his minds he's,
he's wrestling with it, he'strying to figure it out why?
(12:37):
Because I have to be strong,because if I'm not strong, I'm
not a man.
Wow, do you get what I'm saying?
Wow, yeah.
So now intention you mademention of Jesus, which we
should always look to.
Jesus chose 12.
But then there was also Peter,james and John.
Yeah, that would go further.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
With him.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, so he was intentional.
Yes, right, and I think thathelps.
I know it helps me becausehere's God in flesh, you know,
and here it is.
He's got to walk to, you know,the Garden of Gethsemane and he
pulls on them.
He's like man, y'all come alittle further with me.
(13:20):
They fall asleep, right.
And this is where you know, I'malways like looking at him
during this moment and I'mtrying to learn.
I'm, you know, I'm.
Sometimes I'll just sit andwhen I say I'm looking at, I'm
talking about in in my spirit,like I'm trying to look at him
during this moment, right,because he's going through it.
(13:43):
Right, like taking these threewith me and going a little
further.
I need y'all to, I need y'allto pray with me.
Man, yeah, they go to sleep.
He goes a little further, right, and sometimes it's even
difficult to talk about becauseyou don't even like to talk
(14:04):
about Christ or God as weak.
He was weak.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You see what I'm saying as a man.
That makes me feel like, whatam I looking at?
It makes me feel a little weird.
You get what I'm saying?
Right, because I still strugglewith it sometimes, because I
come from that era.
Man, you be a man, you bestrong and trust me.
I understand what my father andgrandfather fathers were trying
(14:32):
to tell me and teach me.
You get what I'm saying, but itwas so much of you.
Be a man.
You be a man.
You get up and you better dothis and you better do that.
And they had good intentions.
But there's no room for you toeven look at.
Well, what do I do if I'm weak?
Yeah, whose shoulder do youlean?
(14:52):
Like, yeah, I got I don't.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, like you know, even backthen, uh, a mama's boy was kind
of frowned upon.
You get what I'm saying.
Like you're gonna look at.
No, no, get out here and youbetter do.
You know what I mean.
Be a man, you be this, you bethat.
And if you can't do that, towhatever degree, you wrestle
(15:15):
with that.
Wow, because society is quickto point that finger and say you
ain't no man, you saw, that'swhat they say you saw, you ain't
a man.
Wow, you get what I'm saying,and and so just the idea of
being weak is shun that.
So let me get back to Christ.
I'm looking at him and it'slike man.
(15:38):
He's, he's praying, he's inagony and he's like Father.
I don't want to do this.
What is that?
It's weakness, right?
I think the lesson for me, andI'm still trying to wrestle with
it, I think the lesson for meand, I would hope, everybody
(16:01):
else, but you know they'rewatching you, but for me the
lesson is it's okay to look atChrist in that moment, and what
the scripture is trying to showyou is that he's human.
Yeah, and I think that might bethe lesson for us men who
wrestle with it.
Listen, you're weak.
What does that mean?
(16:22):
It means that you're human.
Yeah, I like that.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Yeah, like we are.
So I gotta be strong, I gottabe strong, I gotta be strong
that we don't even we miss thefact that we're human.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's deep yeah, you miss that.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like what, really, then, is your view of you being
strong?
You pass human, you superhuman,I mean I like Superman, but you
know it's.
I think the revelation of thatseeing Christ like that is the
(17:02):
fact that he's human andhumanity.
As a man, you get weak, yeah.
So once you're able to acceptthat, now be intentional
intentional with God andintentional with brothers,
brotherhood you get you two orthree that can go a little bit
(17:24):
further with you.
Yeah, I like that.
Even when they can't go further, you go pray to god and when
you say amen, you get up, likechrist did, and you say
nevertheless, your will be doneyeah, yeah, yeah, that's good
man.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Brotherhood and accountability, man.
We could have kept going onthis one man, because you know.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
This one here was a struggle.
I'm like man.
I had so much in my head that Ireally couldn't articulate.
I'm like man like everythingwas just flooding.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
No, but it's good that we talked about this,
because there are men thatbelieve that they need to be by
themselves.
There are men that believe thatthey need to be by themselves,
like I don't want to do it, I'mgood, I'm doing good and maybe,
maybe they've been hurt in thepast Backstab.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I think what it is is they're incapable of seeing the
other side.
That's what I was trying to say.
Yeah, like you can't see it,yeah, but you know what was
helping me to see it?
I don't mind sharing my age.
I'm, I'm, I'm.
God bless me to be 50.
I just turned 50.
Oh really, yeah, bro, I didn'tknow that.
God bless you, god bless me,big five.
Oh, yes, sir, I'm blessed.
(18:29):
Yeah, and I and I'm.
You know, I'm always proud ofthat, because I remember when
they were saying we couldn't getpast 25 as black men.
Wow, yeah, I wear that like I'mhow old, you 50?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I made it this.
This conversation is definitelyneeded.
Um, it like it.
Like I said, they encouraged mebecause it brought me back to
the movie, uh, the forge.
Yeah, you remember when youwatched the movie, all the
brothers were in a circle and Ithink they had their sons, sure
and then that older man wasinstilling, um, he just was
empowering that younger man andso when I thought about the
brotherhood, I thought aboutthat movie and there's other
(19:04):
movies that are out there, butthat's the one that kind of like
stood out to me because Iwatched it with my son and then
I'm like man, this is how abrotherhood should look like and
, thank be to God, there arepreachers out there that are
doing what they can to do what Ijust said in terms of
brotherhood.
They're trying to bring mentogether.
Um, I know our, our minister.
He have a brotherhood's call umevery friday.
(19:26):
They do that to empower,encourage men, because we
showing up needed we be needinga daily bread, so every friday
morning, so they get on.
Um, you know us men, and we geton and we hear word.
If you're not catching on, zoomit, you know they.
They have it on facebook, theyhave on social media.
So, thank god, and also, I knowon a yearly basis they also
have like a men's conferencethat they go to.
(19:47):
I know the sisters have moreyeah, the sisters have more
conferences, but I think allyear round, from, I mean,
whoever watching me I think thatwe should probably create
systems like that.
Well, it shouldn't just be likeonce or twice a year, but this
is something that should beconstant, every month or so or
every quarter, you know, because, like you said, these systems
(20:09):
are in place that push us awayfrom hooking up with our
brothers.
Yeah, and that's the thing thatwe have to face.
So we're in constant war withthe systems and, yeah, that's
that's hard sometimes but yeah,I just want to just reiterate,
and then we'll let it go.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Man, just, uh, just the, you know, having the
ability to say, doc, I'm notstrong, I don't have the
capability to be strong all thetime.
I think that's where, where,where we really need to kind of
figure out, yeah, how to do that, yeah, and I'll tell you what.
(20:46):
What helped me, what helped meto kind of figure that out, is
actually getting older.
Oh, getting older, because youknow, as you get older, man,
yeah, you don't have thestrength of youth.
That's right.
Like you just don't like.
Yeah, listen, man, back in myday, man, you know we were
(21:08):
talking about lifting weights inthe gym and all that stuff
right A while ago.
Back in the day, man, I was allright.
But, listen, I was all right.
Well, listen, I put 300 poundson my chest and go to work.
Yeah, can't do that, no more.
Man, listen, there's somethingabout you know, getting older
(21:33):
and hear what I'm saying.
I'm not saying you don't.
I'm not saying that I'mphysically weak.
What I'm saying is I lost thestrength of youth, meaning.
You know, in my 20ss I pushed300 pounds off my chest.
I don't have that anymore.
Yeah, so then that forces me tokind of face it.
(21:54):
I don't know if that makessense to you.
It's forcing me to face thatlike I used to be able to do
this.
I can't do that.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying,right, right, we love basketball
.
I just jump up and grab the rimright.
I can't do that.
And just look up now, man, andeven that's becoming a struggle,
(22:15):
because your eyesight getbetter.
So so what I'm saying to you isthe trade-off, though, is that
my inner man is getting stronger.
Yeah, so as a young man, Icouldn't even see the other side
(22:35):
of weakness.
I couldn't see it Just strength, strong.
I got to be strong.
I was told to be strong andguess what?
I had the physical capabilityto do it.
I'm strong.
I don't have the physicalcapability like I used to have
now, but my inner man is gettingstronger because I have to rely
(22:58):
on it more.
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.
Now I'm able to kind of see hey, man, you don't have the
capacity to be strong all thetime.
So I now have to look at thereality, which is the weakness.
That's what I was trying to tieinto what I was saying before
(23:23):
with Christ and whatnot.
And once you were able to lookat that, right then you'd be
intentional.
I wish I learned that at 25.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, Amen, amen, hey , y'all, that's.
That's.
It is a wrap.
This was a beautiful, wonderful, wonderful episode.
So y'all put it in a comment.
So put some comments.
Put something in the commentsection in terms of fatherhood,
encourage a father.
Today it is Father's.
I call it Father's Day month.
Well, father's Day month.
I don't know if that makessense, but Father's Month,
(23:52):
father's.
Month yeah, we celebrate thewhole month and we're striving
to bring encouragement tofathers because we show enough
need it, but y'all it is a wrap.
We show enough needed, buty'all it is a wrap.
This episode is a wrap.
The time is well spent, godbless, yes, yes, yes.
So remember that Jesus Christ,he is the King of Kings and he's
the Lord of Lords.
Be blessed.
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