November 30, 2023 • 33 mins
Picture this; You're a military family in a new town, once again, and the holiday season is quickly approaching. The emotional toll is heavy, but as Beth Runkle has experienced firsthand, there's a glimmer of hope that can be found in faith and community. Join us, as our special guest, Beth Runkle of Cru Military, gives insight, wisdom, and practical steps to embrace the military around you all year but especially during the Christmas season. Beth’s Book, Another Move, God? 30 Encouragement for Embracing Your Life as a Military Wife ( based on the life of Sarah in the Bible) with B & H Publishing comes out October 2024.
Military life often means uprooting and starting afresh, but finding community can give a source of warmth and connection in an otherwise transient existence. Beth opens up about her spiritual journey, a path marked by initial resistance and bitterness to the military but ultimately leading her to find peace and purpose in God. As Beth has moved 14 times , she helps us lean into the unique struggles military families face during holiday seasons, and offers practical ways to help ease the burden of isolation and distance from loved ones.
With the holiday season here, let's take a moment to consider those who serve our country. How can we come along side them with friendship, service, prayer and hot chocolate? The separation of families, stress of those in harm’s way, and challenges of single parenting when a spouse is deployed are realities for the families and singles serving and protecting our country. How can we shine God’s light and love to show appreciation and care? Don’t miss this heartfelt conversation on faith, love, and military life.
Resources:
Beth Runkle Website
Cru Military
Operation Gratitude
Soldiers Angels
Operation Christmas Spirit
NBS2GO Bible Studies
SOCIAL MEDIA: @called_toshine Instagram.
Follow us on Instagram and enjoy the community as we spur each other on through inspiration, encouragement, and equipping.
And always you can find resources to help you connect to the people around you at NBS2GO! (nbs2go.com)
— A ministry of NBS2GO: Neighbor Bible Studies to Go and Cru
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jesslyn Adams (00:03):
Hello, Jesslyn here, and Pam, welcome to the
community where we explore howJesus is our light and we're
here to spur each other on tolove God and others right where
we live.
We are called to shine.
Pam McCune (00:17):
As we think of being a light and pointing
people to Jesus during theChristmas season, don't forget
about one specific group who canhave a challenging Christmas
season the military.
There are many of them.
In 2021, there were 1.2 millionactive duty military and
800,000 reserve forces, as wellas 900,000 military spouses.
(00:41):
The fact that military familiestypically move every two to
three years and you add in 25million veterans and you get an
incredible opportunity to shineGod's light and love to military
families, whether we live nearthem, have families who serve or
have friends who have familieswho serve.
Did you know?
Loneliness is considered to bethe number one health problem in
(01:02):
America right now, and it is aslethal to our health as smoking
15 cigarettes a day.
Military families and veteransfeel this loneliness and the
challenges of connecting, beingseen and having community come
around them.
How can God use us to shine ourlight, to give hope, warmth?
Jesslyn Adams (01:21):
life and love.
We are so honored to have BethRunkle join us as we talk about
being a light to those servingin the military.
Beth and her husband serve withcrew military in Colorado
Springs.
Beth served as a military wifeherself during her husband's
25-year career with the AirForce.
She disciples and leads Biblestudies for female cadets and
(01:42):
young military spouses.
Her new book, Another Move God?
30 Encouragements to Embracingyour Life as a Military Wife
releases in 2024.
Beth, welcome to Call to Shine.
Beth Runkle (01:52):
Hello.
Thank you so much for theopportunity to be here.
Pam McCune (01:55):
Beth, you and I met a couple years ago on an online
conference.
So fun to get to meet back now.
But something that's a love forboth of us is communicating to
people how they can reach out tothe people around them, and,
for you, specifically, of how toreach out to the military.
Tell us more about you.
Beth Runkle (02:11):
I grew up in Florida and I met my husband at
a wedding.
We began a long distancerelationship.
He was stationed in Ohio andactually neither one of us knew.
Christ got married and myhusband was already serving in
the military.
Pam McCune (02:23):
Did you have any idea what you were signing up
for when you were marryingsomeone in the military?
Beth Runkle (02:28):
Not at all.
Since we dated long distance, Ireally just saw my boyfriend
then fiance on the weekends.
I never really saw him in hisuniform and, to be fair, he was
serving a desk job at the time.
After applying a few times, hegot picked up to attend pilot
training and that put bigchanges in his life.
He didn't intentionally nottell me what to expect, but
(02:50):
honestly I have to praise Godand celebrate his sovereignty
because I believe if I knew whatI was signing up for, I would
have probably not married him.
I had issues with control.
When you marry someone in themilitary, you give up all
control and I'm very happilymarried.
So I'm very thankful that I didnot know, because God knew I
(03:11):
couldn't handle it if I knewwhat I was signing up for.
Pam McCune (03:14):
Isn't that true for most of us, that if we knew all
the things ahead we might runfor the hill, but they're
actually a good hard to pursuethrough.
Tell us, what was that firstyear of marriage?
Beth Runkle (03:26):
like for y'all.
It was incredibly hard.
I still think that was myhardest year of marriage.
We moved three times our firstyear of marriage and then when
we showed up to the place thatwe would stay for a whole two
years, he deployed.
He came back from deploymentTwo weeks later he went to
training in Alabama for sevenweeks and there were four total
deployments during the two yearsthat we were stationed there.
(03:48):
It was really hard.
I remember telling my husbandsadly towards the end of that
first year I said this wasn'twhat I signed up for and I said
what about me?
What about my career?
What about what I want to do?
And my husband just kind oflooked at me and put his hands
up and said I don't know whatyou want me to do.
You knew I was in the military.
Jesslyn Adams (04:07):
Wow, obviously a theme to moving, so much that
your new book is called AnotherMove, god.
You just alluded to several,but how many times did you move
while in the military?
Beth Runkle (04:18):
We moved 14 times and that was 20 years of my
husband's 25-year career.
We were on the move frequently,but I've come to realize
because I did have issues withcontrol that God continually
kept saying to me you can holdon to nothing of this world.
I am what you should hold on to, and I am the only thing that
(04:38):
will remain constant.
Jesslyn Adams (04:39):
So true, thinking about control, thinking about
probably a slew of other things.
What was the hardest part inmilitary life?
And were other parts harder,besides the traveling?
Beth Runkle (04:49):
There's a lot of challenges.
It's a lot of opportunity forcharacter building, though Some
of the hardest is frequent moves.
You're often away from yourspouse, You're single parent for
seasons and probably one of thehardest is starting over.
Very frequently Some retrospectcan be a blessing at times, but
you're just starting over withcommunity, finding a new church,
(05:09):
finding your friends,Recognizing that when your
husband's at work it's not likea normal person's job.
They're in harm's way, Even ifthey are not deployed or in
battle.
I mean, my husband was a pilot,so he was always going up in an
airplane which couldpotentially crash.
Everything in our life isoutside of our control, but it
does remain in control of asovereign God.
But I didn't know that at first.
Pam McCune (05:30):
Each of those are very significant.
I'm not for sure how I wouldhandle each of those apart from
God.
I fear might have gotten bitter, being in the heart so often.
What has your faith journeylooked like?
Who pointed you to Jesus?
Beth Runkle (05:46):
Because you said you weren't believers as young
married couple, I love that youuse the word bitter because
sadly that's one of the words Iused to describe myself at the
beginning of this journey.
It was bitter, selfish andreluctant to the military life.
It was making our marriage hard, especially now that I've
learned how important respect isto husbands.
My lack of support for themilitary and the constant
(06:08):
complaining about it was reallycommunicated as disrespect
towards my husband.
We moved again to a small townin Mississippi and my husband
ran into some friends he hadknown in college and they had
become believers.
They invited us to get involvedin a Bible study they were
doing on Genesis.
We decided to go In that Biblestudy.
I began to see that God wasreal, that he saw me, that he
(06:31):
saw my challenges.
I don't think it's a mistakethat God put us in the book of
Genesis.
We actually began studying thepoint that the study began.
It was on Sarah and Abraham.
We were experiencinginfertility, which is one of the
big challenges Sarah andAbraham had for 25 years.
As I'm studying the scripturesand I'm really digging in, I'm
very interested to learn becausethe word is coming alive.
(06:52):
I'm seeing like, wow, thisisn't just a book of stories,
this is people's real lives I'mseeing myself is absolutely seen
by God.
When God told Sarah and Abrahamgo to a land that I will show
you, that is just what amilitary family experiences.
Often we call it a PCS itstands for Permanent Change of
Station I was like huh, sarahhad to do that too.
(07:13):
Only she wasn't traveling withmoving vans.
I at least got moving trucksand movers to compact my stuff.
She had camels and donkey.
She was putting whateverhousehold goods she had on the
back of.
They had to leave their familyand go far away.
I was doing that, and top ofthat, abraham went off and
fought in combat.
Abraham went off with his 318trained men to go rescue his
(07:34):
nephew Lot against four kings intheir armies.
That is a combat deployment.
And Sarah was back at the tent,I'm assuming praying and
probably worried, and then ontop of that, they're just
struggling with theirinfertility.
So it's like God showed me.
I see you, beth, I see all yourchallenges and in my
sovereignty I put this in theBible and I put you right here
(07:57):
in it.
The study we were doing isprecept ministries, which is Kay
Arthur and she really laid outwhat it means to have a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ.
We realized we didn't.
For the first time I saw myselfas a sinner in need of being
saved.
That point in my life I thoughtthere was just this scale in
heaven that said Beth runkel onit and as long as I did more
good than bad I would go toheaven.
That is completely unbiblical.
(08:18):
I realized God's standard ishave I sinned ever?
And if I have, then I need asavior.
And Jesus came to take thatpenalty that I deserved.
Both my husband and I amazinglygave our lives to Christ about
the same time.
Pam McCune (08:31):
What a hug from God that he put out genesis for
them to be studying, thatBrian's friends had come to
Christ, were in a Bible study inthe town that you moved to and
that you go and you feel seen byGod of your story being right
there, coming to life.
Was God wooing you and Brian atthe same time?
Did one of you come to adecision before the other?
Beth Runkle (08:53):
I had been raised churched, but I wouldn't
consider myself to have arelationship with Jesus.
And when we got married I saidwe should go to church.
That's what good married peopledo and my husband was really
eager to learn more about it.
We enrolled in a basics ofChristianity class my husband.
When he was deployed those fourtimes he spent a ton of his
time in the chaplain's tent inthe Middle East just asking
(09:16):
questions and learning more.
I believe my husband was moreopen to spiritual things than I
was, because I had to get overmy pride that I didn't know
because I had been raised goingto church.
But thankfully both of us wereteachable and willing to learn.
It was really this genesisstudy for both of us.
I can actually remember aconversation in the car where my
husband said we had just bothprayed at an event to surrender
(09:39):
our lives to Christ and he said,hey, does this mean we're all
in?
Are we going to go all in forJesus?
And I said, yeah, I think weare.
Pam McCune (09:47):
What a beautiful picture you were all in and you
even got to talk about ittogether.
And who knows if those hardfirst year of marriage didn't
make you teachable To say weneed to try something different.
Oh yeah, it made us see weneeded God.
What part did community play inyour family all those years?
Beth Runkle (10:04):
while Brian served in the Air Force, it played a
huge part, the first few moves,I was pretty lonely, feeling
sorry for myself.
Without Christian community itwas hard to make genuine
connections with people.
Sometimes people that aren'tmilitary can want to hold back
and not really invest becauseyou're not going to be there
very long, and I understand that.
I would actually challengepeople to consider how could you
(10:24):
bless them and how might theybless you, even if it's a short
period of time.
When we came to Christ, weactually went to a family life
weekend term member conferencewhich dramatically transformed
our marriage.
That's part of the reason we'reon staff with Crew Military Now
is just what it did.
But at the Family LifeConference they say, hey, you
too can take these concepts backhome and you can do small
groups and teach these things toother people.
(10:45):
And we were new believers.
We start doing that.
We start hosting small groupmarriage studies in our home and
we kept moving.
The guides that Family Lifecreates are super easy to do and
there's even some militarycontextualized ones as well.
And it really became a callingwe felt is that we were to
create community.
We were investing in otherpeople's marriages, but we were
also continuing to make depositsin our own one.
(11:06):
We kept moving.
We would always just start amarriage small group.
We would invite primarilymilitary couples because we knew
they needed community as well.
There were some times we hadsome civilians with us and then
I also started leading women'sBible study.
I knew I needed my group ofpeople, I needed my friends to
rely on.
What I learned to make communityquicker, I had to be vulnerable
(11:28):
right away.
Those first assignments thefirst one, it was like a year
before I had a good friend.
This second one, it was sixmonths.
So I learned okay, I gotta godeep quickly because I might not
be here and you might not behere.
Just get real, Then you canactually jump right in to a
friendship that can go deepquicker.
Community was huge for us and wefelt we needed to create
(11:49):
community for others.
I had a huge shift in myperspective.
Instead of being selfish,bitter and reluctant to saying,
wait a minute.
If God and His sovereigntyordained for me to marry this
man in the military, who happensto move every 1.7 years, then
he has a mission for me too andI have to get on board with that
, instead of fighting it and saythis is a joint mission, I
(12:10):
might not wear the uniform, Idon't go off bare arms, I don't
fly a fighter aircraft, but Ican reach those in my midst
which primarily was the militaryand just to engage the people
around us and be on mission andsay, okay, God, if you've
ordained for me to be here,whether it be eight months or a
year or two years, which was areally long time for us.
I'm gonna be about your workwhile I'm here, spreading the
(12:33):
message of Jesus and what he'sdone in my life and he can do in
their life too.
Be on mission.
Pam McCune (12:37):
It doesn't matter for military or not.
We're all called to shine,we're all called to be on
mission, and I like how you tookit and ran with it, wanting to
be more vulnerable, moreoutgoing.
Take the initiative.
That can't be easy, though.
Now understand your motivation,that you may have a short time
with people.
Are there any tips or wisdomyou can give us of how you made
(12:59):
that change, how we can step out, be more vulnerable and take
the initiative?
Beth Runkle (13:04):
One of the things that I began to do was begin
praying, forgot to show me whowas gonna be my first person.
I would meet someone, start tofeel them out a little bit and
really just take a risk and say,hey, I see the ear, believer,
I'm a believer.
Would you be interested inbeing a prayer partner with me
and meeting once a week to praytogether?
If you're going to pray withsomebody, you're going to go
(13:24):
vulnerable.
You're laying out to bear whatare your issues, what do you
need God to help with?
And that's really what I did.
And then, once I had that onefriend, I had a support system
that could enable me to investin others and reach out to
others, and I didn't just haveChristian friends, but I knew I
needed that foundation to helpme be bolder with people that
(13:46):
weren't believers and reach outto others around me.
And yes, it was a risk, and itis a risk.
I don't recall a time where Iwas hurt, and that's God's grace
.
That is a risk, though, whenyou are going vulnerable with
someone, but I did blanket itwith prayer.
Jesslyn Adams (14:02):
It's risky, it really is.
But, like you mentioned, youmight not have that much time
with people.
You're like I don't know, Ican't take six months just to
kind of skirt around the fluffof small talk but really get to
know people.
I also love how, as a newbeliever, you thought well, I
need to be in God's word, othersneed God's word.
Okay, let's start a small grouptogether.
You just took a step of faithand God has already done amazing
(14:24):
things.
Clearly, in light of all thesethings we're talking about,
especially gearing up forChristmas, that can be hard on
anyone.
But thinking about the military, I would assume having part of
the family gone or unable totravel to see extended family or
even being new to a communitycould be extra challenging and
even discouraging.
Help us get a vision of how wecan shine God's love and light
(14:45):
to the military this holidayseason.
Beth Runkle (14:47):
Keep in mind, transition is a huge part of the
military life.
If we become friends withmilitary people, we are either
moving or so are they.
So you're in constanttransition and in constant need
of community and wanting to feelloved, that somebody cares
about you.
The holidays can be a littleextra hard because often you
can't get leave to go homebecause they can't give the
whole military two weeks offover the Christmas break.
(15:09):
Somebody has to protect thecountry.
Often you can't afford totravel home, especially once you
get kids.
It just gets expensive.
The ache of loneliness anddistance of the family can be a
little bit more prevalent duringthe holidays because you do
miss your family, you do missthe traditions.
You do know that likely therest of your family is gathered
and you're not.
So I think it's just a greatopportunity to extend loving
(15:30):
care to the service members.
I think this is a tangible wayto illustrate the gospel to them
.
It's just showing them thatsomeone cares about them,
believe it or not.
Some of the normal things thatyou would do in the holidays, if
you just extend the invitationto military people around you to
join you, is that a militarymember themselves doesn't
include their family.
(15:50):
Is that military memberdeployed?
Is this a spouse who has amilitary member deployed?
It would go a long way inmaking them feel seen and cared
for.
Pam McCune (16:00):
When we think about Christmas, triggers happen.
This is a season that is muchto celebrate but is one of the
biggest percentages ofdepression and sadness because
of thinking through who's nothere, who's together, but we're
not.
What's changed, how we can't dotraditions.
So you just described reallywell of why that would even be a
(16:22):
more heightened sensitivity formilitary, because they may not
get to do their traditions.
They may have to do delayedcelebration when family is
together.
I see how loneliness plays abig part.
How can we lean in and helpthat loneliness the hardest time
is when your spouse is deployed.
Beth Runkle (16:42):
There's just so much that you don't think about
that.
It makes it hard.
Your spouse isn't there to helpyou put up the Christmas tree.
Your spouse isn't there to helpyou hang the lights.
Your spouse isn't there towatch the kids.
Say you can Christmas shop orChristmas wrap.
You just recognize that they'renot there when you sit down for
that Christmas meal there'sthat empty seat.
So there's a lot of tangibleways that we can minister.
(17:03):
Most of my neighbors now are notmilitary.
They have a big gathering.
All the family comes over forany of these holidays.
We've never had that because wedon't have family that live
nearby.
So inviting a neighbor orsomebody you know at the gym or
somebody you know because yourkid is in their kid's class,
inviting them to join you forsome of these celebrations,
would be huge.
It gives them something to lookforward to, not just being
(17:26):
alone.
That's if the military memberis not deployed, even Just say,
hey, would you want to come doChristmas meal with us?
When the spouse is deployed, Ithink there's a lot more hands
on things we can do.
They can use help putting uptheir decorations or taking them
down, or watch their kids sothey can go Christmas shop.
Perhaps bring them a hot cocoafrom Starbucks to let them know
you're thinking of them, becauseoften that deployed spouse back
(17:46):
home feels very forgotten.
There are more special thingshappening for the service member
that's serving in that deployedlocation.
A lot of ministries minister tothem, but the one back home
feels alone and overwhelmed.
To be honest, christmas is abusy season.
Imagine doing it all byyourself.
Pam McCune (18:03):
Overwhelmed, stressed, feeling alone.
So I see how that cup of hotcocoa is just a nod to say I see
you.
Maybe there's other things thatwe can lean into to say how can
I help you as well?
Beth Runkle (18:16):
For a single military member you know, or
even a family.
Just invite them to the stuffthat you already do.
Do you want to go to ChristmasEve service with us?
Do you want to come have a meal?
Hey, we're going to decorateChristmas cookies.
Would you like to come over?
We're going to go drive aroundand look at all the beautiful
Christmas lights.
That goes a long way in justextending the opportunity for
community.
And that spouse of the deployedmember she or he, believe me,
(18:38):
they desperately long for someauthentic adult conversation.
You love your children, butsometimes you just don't want to
talk about Star Wars and PollyPockets all day.
You need to talk aboutsomething else and you need
someone to ask you how are you?
It's a really small thing, butto that military spouse, that's
huge For me.
Hearing that it tells me I'mseen by this other person.
(19:00):
But more importantly, I'm seenby God because he sent this
person through his Holy Spiritto want to care about me.
Pam McCune (19:06):
What about your kids?
How can we reach out to them?
How do they need somebody tocome along so that they feel
seen and cared about?
Beth Runkle (19:14):
Understand about the kids depending on their age.
It's very hard on them, evenwhen they're little and they
sometimes can't articulate itand so it results in sometimes
acting out.
You get a lot more tantrums, alot more rebellious behavior.
The mom or dad who is home withthem is very tired, so she or
he could really use you toinvite your kids over to a play
(19:35):
date to give another adult totalk to by the kids play or
watch the kids.
But a lot of times a militarykid could really just use the
influence of either a mom, ifit's their mom's deployed, or
the dad, their dad's deployed,so somebody just to come over
and care about them, ride a bikewith them, bake cookies with
them another positive adultinfluence.
But time one of the biggestthings we can do for those
(19:56):
military kids is encourage yourkids that are in their class to
be okay, investing in them andbeing their friend, even if it's
first short period time.
Sometimes we can worry so muchabout our little child and their
future hurt and that having tosay goodbye that we're going to
discourage them from being afriend.
No, I absolutely believe thatGod sovereignly places the kids
(20:17):
in your kids life and they canabsolutely bus your kid in a
vice versa and they might have alifelong friend, somebody they
can be in contact with.
My kids have friends all overthe world.
Encourage your kids to see themilitary in their midst and want
to minister to them.
Pam McCune (20:31):
It definitely is a risk, but what you're saying is
there's a reward that comes withrisk.
Absolutely, when we're willingto do it.
God can broaden them in so manyways In friendship, learning
what it's like to have longdistance friends, to say goodbye
to somebody, be able to keep upin different ways.
Beth Runkle (20:48):
And a big thing we can do is pray for them,
especially like, hey, we don'thave military bases around us.
Ask around and make sure,because there's a lot of guard
units that maybe you don't knowabout, because the people only
serve a week in a month.
Certainly, if there is a base,then in our view you could reach
out to the chaplains of thatbase and say, hey, how can I
minister to the military thatare affiliated with your
installation?
(21:09):
But prayer is a huge, huge giftthat you can give.
In fact, I have some olderwomen in my life and they are
absolute prayer warriors and Ibelieve they're some of the most
important relationships in mylife because they get on their
knees for me and my family.
I think prayer is reallypowerful, especially during the
season.
There's great power in prayingscripture over people.
One of the things I created onmy website, which is
(21:30):
bethrunkelcom, that'sR-U-N-K-L-E.
If you go to the top menu andclick on 25 ways to pray for the
military, that's going to giveyou 25 prayers that I've written
that are based on scripture.
It's a way that you can bepraying for the military.
I wrote it to help youunderstand the challenges.
Even if you do have a familymember, you can know how to pray
for them.
And I would encourage you ifyou have children.
Maybe even if you just want tocommit this Advent season to
(21:53):
pray for the military once aweek, you could get that guide.
Encourage your kids, hey, prayfor this.
One of the things I didn'trealize before I married this
man who was serving the militaryis that the freedoms that we
enjoy every day, they werefought by someone and those are
being protected by someone.
Freedom is not free.
Someone pays for it.
Pam McCune (22:10):
Prayer.
It's like a gift that we cangive, no matter who we have
around us.
First we want to stop and lookaround whose guides put around
us that we can love, and ifthey're in the military, there
are ways that we canspecifically encourage them.
But no matter what challengeswe have, if we stop and pray for
those that are in challenges,it really opens our eyes to see
(22:31):
that we get to be a part ofsomeone else's challenge and
it's also a gift for us to getto be in it with them.
We get to take it before theLord.
Jesslyn Adams (22:38):
As we previously talked about, in Lighting Up the
Darkness when someone is goingthrough hard times, asking for
help is challenging.
Beth, what are ways we can comealongside a military family?
Beth Runkle (22:48):
One thing with military spouses is sometimes we
have to be independent.
So often because our spouse isgone or we're just new to the
community, it can be hard to askfor help.
One of the things I think wecan do all year is come
alongside them and say what canI do for you?
How can I help you?
They're going to say, oh no,I'm good, I'm good.
I would encourage you to be alittle more direct.
Okay, I'm going to help youthis week.
(23:08):
Tell me what you want me to do.
Can I come over and let youtake a nap and watch your kids?
Can I go to coffee with you?
Do you just need someone totalk to?
Do you want to go to churchwith me?
Being a little bit more forward, I want to help you, especially
if she's got kids.
Parenting is hard and we'redoing it alone often.
Pam McCune (23:24):
Sometimes, when I'm in the midst of messiness and
somebody asks me what I need, Idon't even know what I need.
I like, if you give a coupleoptions, hey, I'm doing one of
these, so you can either chooseit, or I'll just do it myself,
like I'll kidnap your kids withyour permission and take them
away, or I'm going to come workon your yard.
So you choose which one youwant me to do.
Yeah.
Beth Runkle (23:44):
I mean, in yard work is a huge thing that the
military spouse needs.
One time my husband deployed,we lived where there was a lot
of trees and I walked outside.
There were leaves up to myknees in my yard and I had a
large yard.
I spent the entire day until itgot dark raking leaves.
Wow, that would be huge Ifsomeone hadn't come over and
offered to help me.
Paying someone to do thatreally just wasn't in the budget
(24:07):
.
Or hey, do you need anythingaround the house fixed?
I mean, one time I had to havea neighbor come help me bury my
dog, but it was helpful.
I couldn't do it myself becauseI couldn't dig the hole and I
didn't realize that before Imade the arrangements for my dog
to be put down.
So that probably is theweirdest question I've ever
asked someone to do.
Hey, can you bury my dog?
But they did it and it was ahuge blessing Beth.
Pam McCune (24:26):
let's think about those 14 moves, as you probably
got better about moving to a newplace.
What encouraged you, whathelped you?
What advice would you give forus to have big eyes to look
around to see who's new and howwe can welcome them to the
neighborhood?
Beth Runkle (24:40):
Yeah, I love that.
Sometimes I'm super passionateabout now, after having been the
new person for so many years.
Welcome is just huge.
We are doing new all the time.
Sometimes we're just tired ofdoing new.
We're tired of puttingourselves out there.
Maybe we've been hurt.
Be that welcoming face whensomeone new comes to your life,
your church, your class at thegym, your kids school.
I really make it a point to bethat person that I go up to
(25:03):
people and I'm like I'm Beth, Inoticed you're new, tell me
about you.
Not only do I talk to them, Iactually have a card that I give
out with my phone number.
I walk around and introducethem to everybody else and I'm
like, hey, let me tell you aboutMary.
You know Mary and her husbandjust moved here and they have
two kids.
And then I'll go hey, mary,your kids are like what, three
and five?
Over here is Jean and she's gotkids about that same age too,
(25:25):
and I'll connect y'all because Iwas that new person.
God has given me eyes to seethe person who needs connection.
This is a way to bless them,but also this is a way to spread
the great news of Jesus Christ.
A lot of the military cominginto your midst, have not heard
and I assure you, even if theydon't know, they need it.
They need it.
(25:46):
They are desperately searchingfor spiritual help.
Tim Keller says we all worshipsomething because we are made to
worship.
Maybe they're worshiping theirown self-sufficiency or some
other belief.
This is a great opportunity toshow people the love of Jesus
and then be in community withthem.
We have to build a relationalequity before we make
(26:07):
conversations that transfer tothe gospel.
Make that relational equityfirst and then pray for the open
door and honestly, god usuallygives me that open door when I
begin building that relationalequity.
This is an opportunity forministry that you can do without
leaving your neighborhood oryour gym, whatever you go to.
Pam McCune (26:25):
That is such opportunity knocking.
It's not just on Halloween day,it is whoever moves in to our
cities and maybe ourneighborhoods, but that we run
into.
It's an opportunity to be alight and to bake God's love to
them.
Beth Runkle (26:40):
In the 1960s, dr Bill Bright, who is the founder
of crew, made connection withColonel Jack Fain, crew
military's founder, and this wasduring the Vietnam War.
And it was because Colonel JackFain believed that a man or
woman in uniform bearing armsand subject to enemy action
deserves first priority to hearthe gospel of Christ.
At this time and I think thatso continues to relate to our
(27:01):
mission with crew military theydeserve the opportunity to hear
about Jesus and you, just bywalking across the street, you
could be the person who givesthem that light and you can
shine that light on them.
Pam McCune (27:14):
None of us know what tomorrow holds, but those
that are putting themselves inharm's way.
For each of our sake we want togive them opportunity of the
true hope, the light of life.
But I have a friend that duringa season that we spent a lot of
time together she had all fourdaughters go through the
military and I watched her gofind creative things to put in
(27:34):
care packages to encourage thosegirls.
And there are two things Ilearned from that.
One is that care packages meanta lot, be it deployed or be it
deserving, in a different state,different city, away from
family, to say I feel seen, Ifeel known, I feel cared about.
And two is that it's expensive.
Many stamps that passed alongor gift cards or treats meant
(27:56):
the world.
Did care packages ever play apart for you of either receiving
or of sending to others?
Beth Runkle (28:04):
I never got a care package, but my husband did.
The kids and I would put themtogether for him.
It doesn't even have to be acare package, a letter.
You could even just send ascripture hand praying this over
you.
When the mail bags come, it'svery, very exciting for the
troops that are overseas becausethey know they're going to get
a touch of home.
Even as you're getting ready tosend your Christmas cards, if
you know anybody that's deployed, send them one too.
(28:26):
Don't just send it to theirfamily and I guarantee you not
only are they going to read thatChristmas card, they're going
to read it multiple timesbecause they're lonely Putting a
note in the mail or carepackage.
I always encourage baked goodsbecause that's a real treat.
Find out from a family memberwhat are their favorite snacks.
If there are magazine, I canthrow in there a little game.
Pam McCune (28:44):
It just shows that you care If you had received a
care package, what would youhave wanted in it to be seen and
cared about?
Beth Runkle (28:52):
For the spouse loved at home something for them
to take a minute for themselves.
A foot scrub or a foot soaker,some eye patches, gift card for
the coffee shop, a candy bar.
Something to say I'm thinkingabout you.
Even pick up the little $6bouquet of flowers from the
grocery store and drop it back.
It's a little note.
Hey, I was thinking of you.
If you have time to stop andsay hello, that'd be even better
(29:15):
.
But even if you don't, just alittle, I'm thinking of you.
I want you to know you are myprayers.
That goes a long way,communicating that they are seen
by God and not forgotten.
Often that spouse that is athome feels very forgotten.
Jesslyn Adams (29:29):
You've given us so many fabulous ideas.
How can we find you online andhow can we find out more about
crew?
Beth Runkle (29:35):
military, two things.
If you want to find out moreabout crew military, we are
engaged in winning people toChrist, building them up in
their faith and sending them outon mission.
We believe the military does alot of this sending for us.
We're in about 60 baselocations in the United States.
We are in 32 other countriesand in those countries it is the
military of that country thatare doing the ministry, because
(29:56):
we believe indigenous people doa much better job of
communicating the gospel.
So that's very exciting.
And one of the biggestcountries we have a big
influence is Ukraine.
They are in the fight right nowso they could greatly use your
prayers for safety, but also forboldness to continue to share
the gospel.
We are seeing them be more andmore and more bold because they
(30:17):
know those they are serving withand themselves are being often
harmed.
I have a website.
It's called bethrunkelcom.
That's R-U-N-K-L-E, that's oneword.
I blog about military issues.
They're all with a spiritualemphasis.
I have a book coming out inOctober of next year.
It is a study based on Genesis12 through 22, which is the life
(30:38):
of Sarah and Abraham how I cameto Christ, and it is focused on
military wives to encouragethem to embrace their life as a
military wife.
Do that with trust and asovereign God who maintains
control over their chaotic anduncertain life.
Jesslyn Adams (30:53):
Beth, thank you for your service as a military
wife and for your service nowand loving on those in the
military through crew.
We appreciate you and your timewith us here.
Beth Runkle (31:03):
Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate just theopportunity to share some of the
concerns.
Obviously, I'm reallypassionate about military
families.
Military spouses are myfavorite people in the world.
I'd really appreciate y'all'sheart for reaching your
neighbors, the MBS to Go BibleStudies, which are really a
great way to easily engage yourcommunity around you in Bible
study and point them to thetruth of the word.
Jesslyn Adams (31:25):
Beth has given us so many ideas.
Personally, being curious andtaking the initiative to those
in your path is a great place tostart, but if you don't know
anyone, many websites that arehelpful SoldiersAngelsorg or
OperationGratitudecom, where youcan send letters, christmas
stockings, gift cards, donationsor being given a personal name
you can reach out to.
(31:46):
Several communities are evenrequesting volunteers in the top
10 cities of our listenersDallas, san Antonio, atlanta and
Orlando.
We will post on our Call toShine Instagram account these
websites as well as our shownotes.
Pam McCune (31:59):
John Jones tells the story in the light of life
this life is light Of a friendwho flew combat choppers in
Vietnam.
He was radioed to a secretmission one night which required
him to fly in total darkness,totally by instruments, hovering
above a jungle under heavycloud cover.
He told that it seemed youcould cut the darkness with a
(32:19):
knife.
He radioed to his man on theground and said what can you
give me?
The guy had not even aflashlight.
The landing had to be soprecise, in a small postage
stamp in the middle of thejungle.
An air of five feet could crashthe chopper and kill them all.
Finally, the man on the groundsaid I have a Zippo lighter.
The pilot said light it andhold it up.
(32:40):
In the middle of the jungles ofAsia on a top secret warfare
mission, a combat chopper pilotlanded by the light of a Zippo
lighter that pierced thedarkness.
Jesslyn Adams (32:51):
Shining our light to those in our path can give
people going through darkness,whether those navigating a new
territory, a new community ofpeople are just trying to figure
out the next right step.
When we share a light with them, it gives them the light to see
the landing pad of hope, love,life, care and light.
We have so much more to exploretogether.
(33:11):
So be sure to subscribe to ourpodcast and if today is inspired
or encouraged you, you can helpothers find us by taking a
moment to give us a review onyour favorite podcast streaming
site.
Pam McCune (33:21):
And as our thanks for joining us here, we invite
you to follow us on Instagram atcalled to shine.
As part of our called to shineInstagram community, you will
get encouragement and ideas tohelp you connect to the people
around you and, as always, youcan find resources to help you
shine the light of Jesus atmbs2gocom neighbor Bible studies
(33:43):
to go.
Thanks for joining us today.
We are called to shine.
Hello, Jesslyn here, and Pam, welcome to the
community where we explore howJesus is our light and we're
here to spur each other on tolove God and others right where
we live.
We are called to shine.
Pam McCune (00:17):
As we think of being a light and pointing
people to Jesus during theChristmas season, don't forget
about one specific group who canhave a challenging Christmas
season the military.
There are many of them.
In 2021, there were 1.2 millionactive duty military and
800,000 reserve forces, as wellas 900,000 military spouses.
(00:41):
The fact that military familiestypically move every two to
three years and you add in 25million veterans and you get an
incredible opportunity to shineGod's light and love to military
families, whether we live nearthem, have families who serve or
have friends who have familieswho serve.
Did you know?
Loneliness is considered to bethe number one health problem in
(01:02):
America right now, and it is aslethal to our health as smoking
15 cigarettes a day.
Military families and veteransfeel this loneliness and the
challenges of connecting, beingseen and having community come
around them.
How can God use us to shine ourlight, to give hope, warmth?
Jesslyn Adams (01:21):
life and love.
We are so honored to have BethRunkle join us as we talk about
being a light to those servingin the military.
Beth and her husband serve withcrew military in Colorado
Springs.
Beth served as a military wifeherself during her husband's
25-year career with the AirForce.
She disciples and leads Biblestudies for female cadets and
(01:42):
young military spouses.
Her new book, Another Move God?
30 Encouragements to Embracingyour Life as a Military Wife
releases in 2024.
Beth, welcome to Call to Shine.
Beth Runkle (01:52):
Hello.
Thank you so much for theopportunity to be here.
Pam McCune (01:55):
Beth, you and I met a couple years ago on an online
conference.
So fun to get to meet back now.
But something that's a love forboth of us is communicating to
people how they can reach out tothe people around them, and,
for you, specifically, of how toreach out to the military.
Tell us more about you.
Beth Runkle (02:11):
I grew up in Florida and I met my husband at
a wedding.
We began a long distancerelationship.
He was stationed in Ohio andactually neither one of us knew.
Christ got married and myhusband was already serving in
the military.
Pam McCune (02:23):
Did you have any idea what you were signing up
for when you were marryingsomeone in the military?
Beth Runkle (02:28):
Not at all.
Since we dated long distance, Ireally just saw my boyfriend
then fiance on the weekends.
I never really saw him in hisuniform and, to be fair, he was
serving a desk job at the time.
After applying a few times, hegot picked up to attend pilot
training and that put bigchanges in his life.
He didn't intentionally nottell me what to expect, but
(02:50):
honestly I have to praise Godand celebrate his sovereignty
because I believe if I knew whatI was signing up for, I would
have probably not married him.
I had issues with control.
When you marry someone in themilitary, you give up all
control and I'm very happilymarried.
So I'm very thankful that I didnot know, because God knew I
(03:11):
couldn't handle it if I knewwhat I was signing up for.
Pam McCune (03:14):
Isn't that true for most of us, that if we knew all
the things ahead we might runfor the hill, but they're
actually a good hard to pursuethrough.
Tell us, what was that firstyear of marriage?
Beth Runkle (03:26):
like for y'all.
It was incredibly hard.
I still think that was myhardest year of marriage.
We moved three times our firstyear of marriage and then when
we showed up to the place thatwe would stay for a whole two
years, he deployed.
He came back from deploymentTwo weeks later he went to
training in Alabama for sevenweeks and there were four total
deployments during the two yearsthat we were stationed there.
(03:48):
It was really hard.
I remember telling my husbandsadly towards the end of that
first year I said this wasn'twhat I signed up for and I said
what about me?
What about my career?
What about what I want to do?
And my husband just kind oflooked at me and put his hands
up and said I don't know whatyou want me to do.
You knew I was in the military.
Jesslyn Adams (04:07):
Wow, obviously a theme to moving, so much that
your new book is called AnotherMove, god.
You just alluded to several,but how many times did you move
while in the military?
Beth Runkle (04:18):
We moved 14 times and that was 20 years of my
husband's 25-year career.
We were on the move frequently,but I've come to realize
because I did have issues withcontrol that God continually
kept saying to me you can holdon to nothing of this world.
I am what you should hold on to, and I am the only thing that
(04:38):
will remain constant.
Jesslyn Adams (04:39):
So true, thinking about control, thinking about
probably a slew of other things.
What was the hardest part inmilitary life?
And were other parts harder,besides the traveling?
Beth Runkle (04:49):
There's a lot of challenges.
It's a lot of opportunity forcharacter building, though Some
of the hardest is frequent moves.
You're often away from yourspouse, You're single parent for
seasons and probably one of thehardest is starting over.
Very frequently Some retrospectcan be a blessing at times, but
you're just starting over withcommunity, finding a new church,
(05:09):
finding your friends,Recognizing that when your
husband's at work it's not likea normal person's job.
They're in harm's way, Even ifthey are not deployed or in
battle.
I mean, my husband was a pilot,so he was always going up in an
airplane which couldpotentially crash.
Everything in our life isoutside of our control, but it
does remain in control of asovereign God.
But I didn't know that at first.
Pam McCune (05:30):
Each of those are very significant.
I'm not for sure how I wouldhandle each of those apart from
God.
I fear might have gotten bitter, being in the heart so often.
What has your faith journeylooked like?
Who pointed you to Jesus?
Beth Runkle (05:46):
Because you said you weren't believers as young
married couple, I love that youuse the word bitter because
sadly that's one of the words Iused to describe myself at the
beginning of this journey.
It was bitter, selfish andreluctant to the military life.
It was making our marriage hard, especially now that I've
learned how important respect isto husbands.
My lack of support for themilitary and the constant
(06:08):
complaining about it was reallycommunicated as disrespect
towards my husband.
We moved again to a small townin Mississippi and my husband
ran into some friends he hadknown in college and they had
become believers.
They invited us to get involvedin a Bible study they were
doing on Genesis.
We decided to go In that Biblestudy.
I began to see that God wasreal, that he saw me, that he
(06:31):
saw my challenges.
I don't think it's a mistakethat God put us in the book of
Genesis.
We actually began studying thepoint that the study began.
It was on Sarah and Abraham.
We were experiencinginfertility, which is one of the
big challenges Sarah andAbraham had for 25 years.
As I'm studying the scripturesand I'm really digging in, I'm
very interested to learn becausethe word is coming alive.
(06:52):
I'm seeing like, wow, thisisn't just a book of stories,
this is people's real lives I'mseeing myself is absolutely seen
by God.
When God told Sarah and Abrahamgo to a land that I will show
you, that is just what amilitary family experiences.
Often we call it a PCS itstands for Permanent Change of
Station I was like huh, sarahhad to do that too.
(07:13):
Only she wasn't traveling withmoving vans.
I at least got moving trucksand movers to compact my stuff.
She had camels and donkey.
She was putting whateverhousehold goods she had on the
back of.
They had to leave their familyand go far away.
I was doing that, and top ofthat, abraham went off and
fought in combat.
Abraham went off with his 318trained men to go rescue his
(07:34):
nephew Lot against four kings intheir armies.
That is a combat deployment.
And Sarah was back at the tent,I'm assuming praying and
probably worried, and then ontop of that, they're just
struggling with theirinfertility.
So it's like God showed me.
I see you, beth, I see all yourchallenges and in my
sovereignty I put this in theBible and I put you right here
(07:57):
in it.
The study we were doing isprecept ministries, which is Kay
Arthur and she really laid outwhat it means to have a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ.
We realized we didn't.
For the first time I saw myselfas a sinner in need of being
saved.
That point in my life I thoughtthere was just this scale in
heaven that said Beth runkel onit and as long as I did more
good than bad I would go toheaven.
That is completely unbiblical.
(08:18):
I realized God's standard ishave I sinned ever?
And if I have, then I need asavior.
And Jesus came to take thatpenalty that I deserved.
Both my husband and I amazinglygave our lives to Christ about
the same time.
Pam McCune (08:31):
What a hug from God that he put out genesis for
them to be studying, thatBrian's friends had come to
Christ, were in a Bible study inthe town that you moved to and
that you go and you feel seen byGod of your story being right
there, coming to life.
Was God wooing you and Brian atthe same time?
Did one of you come to adecision before the other?
Beth Runkle (08:53):
I had been raised churched, but I wouldn't
consider myself to have arelationship with Jesus.
And when we got married I saidwe should go to church.
That's what good married peopledo and my husband was really
eager to learn more about it.
We enrolled in a basics ofChristianity class my husband.
When he was deployed those fourtimes he spent a ton of his
time in the chaplain's tent inthe Middle East just asking
(09:16):
questions and learning more.
I believe my husband was moreopen to spiritual things than I
was, because I had to get overmy pride that I didn't know
because I had been raised goingto church.
But thankfully both of us wereteachable and willing to learn.
It was really this genesisstudy for both of us.
I can actually remember aconversation in the car where my
husband said we had just bothprayed at an event to surrender
(09:39):
our lives to Christ and he said,hey, does this mean we're all
in?
Are we going to go all in forJesus?
And I said, yeah, I think weare.
Pam McCune (09:47):
What a beautiful picture you were all in and you
even got to talk about ittogether.
And who knows if those hardfirst year of marriage didn't
make you teachable To say weneed to try something different.
Oh yeah, it made us see weneeded God.
What part did community play inyour family all those years?
Beth Runkle (10:04):
while Brian served in the Air Force, it played a
huge part, the first few moves,I was pretty lonely, feeling
sorry for myself.
Without Christian community itwas hard to make genuine
connections with people.
Sometimes people that aren'tmilitary can want to hold back
and not really invest becauseyou're not going to be there
very long, and I understand that.
I would actually challengepeople to consider how could you
(10:24):
bless them and how might theybless you, even if it's a short
period of time.
When we came to Christ, weactually went to a family life
weekend term member conferencewhich dramatically transformed
our marriage.
That's part of the reason we'reon staff with Crew Military Now
is just what it did.
But at the Family LifeConference they say, hey, you
too can take these concepts backhome and you can do small
groups and teach these things toother people.
(10:45):
And we were new believers.
We start doing that.
We start hosting small groupmarriage studies in our home and
we kept moving.
The guides that Family Lifecreates are super easy to do and
there's even some militarycontextualized ones as well.
And it really became a callingwe felt is that we were to
create community.
We were investing in otherpeople's marriages, but we were
also continuing to make depositsin our own one.
(11:06):
We kept moving.
We would always just start amarriage small group.
We would invite primarilymilitary couples because we knew
they needed community as well.
There were some times we hadsome civilians with us and then
I also started leading women'sBible study.
I knew I needed my group ofpeople, I needed my friends to
rely on.
What I learned to make communityquicker, I had to be vulnerable
(11:28):
right away.
Those first assignments thefirst one, it was like a year
before I had a good friend.
This second one, it was sixmonths.
So I learned okay, I gotta godeep quickly because I might not
be here and you might not behere.
Just get real, Then you canactually jump right in to a
friendship that can go deepquicker.
Community was huge for us and wefelt we needed to create
(11:49):
community for others.
I had a huge shift in myperspective.
Instead of being selfish,bitter and reluctant to saying,
wait a minute.
If God and His sovereigntyordained for me to marry this
man in the military, who happensto move every 1.7 years, then
he has a mission for me too andI have to get on board with that
, instead of fighting it and saythis is a joint mission, I
(12:10):
might not wear the uniform, Idon't go off bare arms, I don't
fly a fighter aircraft, but Ican reach those in my midst
which primarily was the militaryand just to engage the people
around us and be on mission andsay, okay, God, if you've
ordained for me to be here,whether it be eight months or a
year or two years, which was areally long time for us.
I'm gonna be about your workwhile I'm here, spreading the
(12:33):
message of Jesus and what he'sdone in my life and he can do in
their life too.
Be on mission.
Pam McCune (12:37):
It doesn't matter for military or not.
We're all called to shine,we're all called to be on
mission, and I like how you tookit and ran with it, wanting to
be more vulnerable, moreoutgoing.
Take the initiative.
That can't be easy, though.
Now understand your motivation,that you may have a short time
with people.
Are there any tips or wisdomyou can give us of how you made
(12:59):
that change, how we can step out, be more vulnerable and take
the initiative?
Beth Runkle (13:04):
One of the things that I began to do was begin
praying, forgot to show me whowas gonna be my first person.
I would meet someone, start tofeel them out a little bit and
really just take a risk and say,hey, I see the ear, believer,
I'm a believer.
Would you be interested inbeing a prayer partner with me
and meeting once a week to praytogether?
If you're going to pray withsomebody, you're going to go
(13:24):
vulnerable.
You're laying out to bear whatare your issues, what do you
need God to help with?
And that's really what I did.
And then, once I had that onefriend, I had a support system
that could enable me to investin others and reach out to
others, and I didn't just haveChristian friends, but I knew I
needed that foundation to helpme be bolder with people that
(13:46):
weren't believers and reach outto others around me.
And yes, it was a risk, and itis a risk.
I don't recall a time where Iwas hurt, and that's God's grace
.
That is a risk, though, whenyou are going vulnerable with
someone, but I did blanket itwith prayer.
Jesslyn Adams (14:02):
It's risky, it really is.
But, like you mentioned, youmight not have that much time
with people.
You're like I don't know, Ican't take six months just to
kind of skirt around the fluffof small talk but really get to
know people.
I also love how, as a newbeliever, you thought well, I
need to be in God's word, othersneed God's word.
Okay, let's start a small grouptogether.
You just took a step of faithand God has already done amazing
(14:24):
things.
Clearly, in light of all thesethings we're talking about,
especially gearing up forChristmas, that can be hard on
anyone.
But thinking about the military, I would assume having part of
the family gone or unable totravel to see extended family or
even being new to a communitycould be extra challenging and
even discouraging.
Help us get a vision of how wecan shine God's love and light
(14:45):
to the military this holidayseason.
Beth Runkle (14:47):
Keep in mind, transition is a huge part of the
military life.
If we become friends withmilitary people, we are either
moving or so are they.
So you're in constanttransition and in constant need
of community and wanting to feelloved, that somebody cares
about you.
The holidays can be a littleextra hard because often you
can't get leave to go homebecause they can't give the
whole military two weeks offover the Christmas break.
(15:09):
Somebody has to protect thecountry.
Often you can't afford totravel home, especially once you
get kids.
It just gets expensive.
The ache of loneliness anddistance of the family can be a
little bit more prevalent duringthe holidays because you do
miss your family, you do missthe traditions.
You do know that likely therest of your family is gathered
and you're not.
So I think it's just a greatopportunity to extend loving
(15:30):
care to the service members.
I think this is a tangible wayto illustrate the gospel to them
.
It's just showing them thatsomeone cares about them,
believe it or not.
Some of the normal things thatyou would do in the holidays, if
you just extend the invitationto military people around you to
join you, is that a militarymember themselves doesn't
include their family.
(15:50):
Is that military memberdeployed?
Is this a spouse who has amilitary member deployed?
It would go a long way inmaking them feel seen and cared
for.
Pam McCune (16:00):
When we think about Christmas, triggers happen.
This is a season that is muchto celebrate but is one of the
biggest percentages ofdepression and sadness because
of thinking through who's nothere, who's together, but we're
not.
What's changed, how we can't dotraditions.
So you just described reallywell of why that would even be a
(16:22):
more heightened sensitivity formilitary, because they may not
get to do their traditions.
They may have to do delayedcelebration when family is
together.
I see how loneliness plays abig part.
How can we lean in and helpthat loneliness the hardest time
is when your spouse is deployed.
Beth Runkle (16:42):
There's just so much that you don't think about
that.
It makes it hard.
Your spouse isn't there to helpyou put up the Christmas tree.
Your spouse isn't there to helpyou hang the lights.
Your spouse isn't there towatch the kids.
Say you can Christmas shop orChristmas wrap.
You just recognize that they'renot there when you sit down for
that Christmas meal there'sthat empty seat.
So there's a lot of tangibleways that we can minister.
(17:03):
Most of my neighbors now are notmilitary.
They have a big gathering.
All the family comes over forany of these holidays.
We've never had that because wedon't have family that live
nearby.
So inviting a neighbor orsomebody you know at the gym or
somebody you know because yourkid is in their kid's class,
inviting them to join you forsome of these celebrations,
would be huge.
It gives them something to lookforward to, not just being
(17:26):
alone.
That's if the military memberis not deployed, even Just say,
hey, would you want to come doChristmas meal with us?
When the spouse is deployed, Ithink there's a lot more hands
on things we can do.
They can use help putting uptheir decorations or taking them
down, or watch their kids sothey can go Christmas shop.
Perhaps bring them a hot cocoafrom Starbucks to let them know
you're thinking of them, becauseoften that deployed spouse back
(17:46):
home feels very forgotten.
There are more special thingshappening for the service member
that's serving in that deployedlocation.
A lot of ministries minister tothem, but the one back home
feels alone and overwhelmed.
To be honest, christmas is abusy season.
Imagine doing it all byyourself.
Pam McCune (18:03):
Overwhelmed, stressed, feeling alone.
So I see how that cup of hotcocoa is just a nod to say I see
you.
Maybe there's other things thatwe can lean into to say how can
I help you as well?
Beth Runkle (18:16):
For a single military member you know, or
even a family.
Just invite them to the stuffthat you already do.
Do you want to go to ChristmasEve service with us?
Do you want to come have a meal?
Hey, we're going to decorateChristmas cookies.
Would you like to come over?
We're going to go drive aroundand look at all the beautiful
Christmas lights.
That goes a long way in justextending the opportunity for
community.
And that spouse of the deployedmember she or he, believe me,
(18:38):
they desperately long for someauthentic adult conversation.
You love your children, butsometimes you just don't want to
talk about Star Wars and PollyPockets all day.
You need to talk aboutsomething else and you need
someone to ask you how are you?
It's a really small thing, butto that military spouse, that's
huge For me.
Hearing that it tells me I'mseen by this other person.
(19:00):
But more importantly, I'm seenby God because he sent this
person through his Holy Spiritto want to care about me.
Pam McCune (19:06):
What about your kids?
How can we reach out to them?
How do they need somebody tocome along so that they feel
seen and cared about?
Beth Runkle (19:14):
Understand about the kids depending on their age.
It's very hard on them, evenwhen they're little and they
sometimes can't articulate itand so it results in sometimes
acting out.
You get a lot more tantrums, alot more rebellious behavior.
The mom or dad who is home withthem is very tired, so she or
he could really use you toinvite your kids over to a play
(19:35):
date to give another adult totalk to by the kids play or
watch the kids.
But a lot of times a militarykid could really just use the
influence of either a mom, ifit's their mom's deployed, or
the dad, their dad's deployed,so somebody just to come over
and care about them, ride a bikewith them, bake cookies with
them another positive adultinfluence.
But time one of the biggestthings we can do for those
(19:56):
military kids is encourage yourkids that are in their class to
be okay, investing in them andbeing their friend, even if it's
first short period time.
Sometimes we can worry so muchabout our little child and their
future hurt and that having tosay goodbye that we're going to
discourage them from being afriend.
No, I absolutely believe thatGod sovereignly places the kids
(20:17):
in your kids life and they canabsolutely bus your kid in a
vice versa and they might have alifelong friend, somebody they
can be in contact with.
My kids have friends all overthe world.
Encourage your kids to see themilitary in their midst and want
to minister to them.
Pam McCune (20:31):
It definitely is a risk, but what you're saying is
there's a reward that comes withrisk.
Absolutely, when we're willingto do it.
God can broaden them in so manyways In friendship, learning
what it's like to have longdistance friends, to say goodbye
to somebody, be able to keep upin different ways.
Beth Runkle (20:48):
And a big thing we can do is pray for them,
especially like, hey, we don'thave military bases around us.
Ask around and make sure,because there's a lot of guard
units that maybe you don't knowabout, because the people only
serve a week in a month.
Certainly, if there is a base,then in our view you could reach
out to the chaplains of thatbase and say, hey, how can I
minister to the military thatare affiliated with your
installation?
(21:09):
But prayer is a huge, huge giftthat you can give.
In fact, I have some olderwomen in my life and they are
absolute prayer warriors and Ibelieve they're some of the most
important relationships in mylife because they get on their
knees for me and my family.
I think prayer is reallypowerful, especially during the
season.
There's great power in prayingscripture over people.
One of the things I created onmy website, which is
(21:30):
bethrunkelcom, that'sR-U-N-K-L-E.
If you go to the top menu andclick on 25 ways to pray for the
military, that's going to giveyou 25 prayers that I've written
that are based on scripture.
It's a way that you can bepraying for the military.
I wrote it to help youunderstand the challenges.
Even if you do have a familymember, you can know how to pray
for them.
And I would encourage you ifyou have children.
Maybe even if you just want tocommit this Advent season to
(21:53):
pray for the military once aweek, you could get that guide.
Encourage your kids, hey, prayfor this.
One of the things I didn'trealize before I married this
man who was serving the militaryis that the freedoms that we
enjoy every day, they werefought by someone and those are
being protected by someone.
Freedom is not free.
Someone pays for it.
Pam McCune (22:10):
Prayer.
It's like a gift that we cangive, no matter who we have
around us.
First we want to stop and lookaround whose guides put around
us that we can love, and ifthey're in the military, there
are ways that we canspecifically encourage them.
But no matter what challengeswe have, if we stop and pray for
those that are in challenges,it really opens our eyes to see
(22:31):
that we get to be a part ofsomeone else's challenge and
it's also a gift for us to getto be in it with them.
We get to take it before theLord.
Jesslyn Adams (22:38):
As we previously talked about, in Lighting Up the
Darkness when someone is goingthrough hard times, asking for
help is challenging.
Beth, what are ways we can comealongside a military family?
Beth Runkle (22:48):
One thing with military spouses is sometimes we
have to be independent.
So often because our spouse isgone or we're just new to the
community, it can be hard to askfor help.
One of the things I think wecan do all year is come
alongside them and say what canI do for you?
How can I help you?
They're going to say, oh no,I'm good, I'm good.
I would encourage you to be alittle more direct.
Okay, I'm going to help youthis week.
(23:08):
Tell me what you want me to do.
Can I come over and let youtake a nap and watch your kids?
Can I go to coffee with you?
Do you just need someone totalk to?
Do you want to go to churchwith me?
Being a little bit more forward, I want to help you, especially
if she's got kids.
Parenting is hard and we'redoing it alone often.
Pam McCune (23:24):
Sometimes, when I'm in the midst of messiness and
somebody asks me what I need, Idon't even know what I need.
I like, if you give a coupleoptions, hey, I'm doing one of
these, so you can either chooseit, or I'll just do it myself,
like I'll kidnap your kids withyour permission and take them
away, or I'm going to come workon your yard.
So you choose which one youwant me to do.
Yeah.
Beth Runkle (23:44):
I mean, in yard work is a huge thing that the
military spouse needs.
One time my husband deployed,we lived where there was a lot
of trees and I walked outside.
There were leaves up to myknees in my yard and I had a
large yard.
I spent the entire day until itgot dark raking leaves.
Wow, that would be huge Ifsomeone hadn't come over and
offered to help me.
Paying someone to do thatreally just wasn't in the budget
(24:07):
.
Or hey, do you need anythingaround the house fixed?
I mean, one time I had to havea neighbor come help me bury my
dog, but it was helpful.
I couldn't do it myself becauseI couldn't dig the hole and I
didn't realize that before Imade the arrangements for my dog
to be put down.
So that probably is theweirdest question I've ever
asked someone to do.
Hey, can you bury my dog?
But they did it and it was ahuge blessing Beth.
Pam McCune (24:26):
let's think about those 14 moves, as you probably
got better about moving to a newplace.
What encouraged you, whathelped you?
What advice would you give forus to have big eyes to look
around to see who's new and howwe can welcome them to the
neighborhood?
Beth Runkle (24:40):
Yeah, I love that.
Sometimes I'm super passionateabout now, after having been the
new person for so many years.
Welcome is just huge.
We are doing new all the time.
Sometimes we're just tired ofdoing new.
We're tired of puttingourselves out there.
Maybe we've been hurt.
Be that welcoming face whensomeone new comes to your life,
your church, your class at thegym, your kids school.
I really make it a point to bethat person that I go up to
(25:03):
people and I'm like I'm Beth, Inoticed you're new, tell me
about you.
Not only do I talk to them, Iactually have a card that I give
out with my phone number.
I walk around and introducethem to everybody else and I'm
like, hey, let me tell you aboutMary.
You know Mary and her husbandjust moved here and they have
two kids.
And then I'll go hey, mary,your kids are like what, three
and five?
Over here is Jean and she's gotkids about that same age too,
(25:25):
and I'll connect y'all because Iwas that new person.
God has given me eyes to seethe person who needs connection.
This is a way to bless them,but also this is a way to spread
the great news of Jesus Christ.
A lot of the military cominginto your midst, have not heard
and I assure you, even if theydon't know, they need it.
They need it.
(25:46):
They are desperately searchingfor spiritual help.
Tim Keller says we all worshipsomething because we are made to
worship.
Maybe they're worshiping theirown self-sufficiency or some
other belief.
This is a great opportunity toshow people the love of Jesus
and then be in community withthem.
We have to build a relationalequity before we make
(26:07):
conversations that transfer tothe gospel.
Make that relational equityfirst and then pray for the open
door and honestly, god usuallygives me that open door when I
begin building that relationalequity.
This is an opportunity forministry that you can do without
leaving your neighborhood oryour gym, whatever you go to.
Pam McCune (26:25):
That is such opportunity knocking.
It's not just on Halloween day,it is whoever moves in to our
cities and maybe ourneighborhoods, but that we run
into.
It's an opportunity to be alight and to bake God's love to
them.
Beth Runkle (26:40):
In the 1960s, dr Bill Bright, who is the founder
of crew, made connection withColonel Jack Fain, crew
military's founder, and this wasduring the Vietnam War.
And it was because Colonel JackFain believed that a man or
woman in uniform bearing armsand subject to enemy action
deserves first priority to hearthe gospel of Christ.
At this time and I think thatso continues to relate to our
(27:01):
mission with crew military theydeserve the opportunity to hear
about Jesus and you, just bywalking across the street, you
could be the person who givesthem that light and you can
shine that light on them.
Pam McCune (27:14):
None of us know what tomorrow holds, but those
that are putting themselves inharm's way.
For each of our sake we want togive them opportunity of the
true hope, the light of life.
But I have a friend that duringa season that we spent a lot of
time together she had all fourdaughters go through the
military and I watched her gofind creative things to put in
(27:34):
care packages to encourage thosegirls.
And there are two things Ilearned from that.
One is that care packages meanta lot, be it deployed or be it
deserving, in a different state,different city, away from
family, to say I feel seen, Ifeel known, I feel cared about.
And two is that it's expensive.
Many stamps that passed alongor gift cards or treats meant
(27:56):
the world.
Did care packages ever play apart for you of either receiving
or of sending to others?
Beth Runkle (28:04):
I never got a care package, but my husband did.
The kids and I would put themtogether for him.
It doesn't even have to be acare package, a letter.
You could even just send ascripture hand praying this over
you.
When the mail bags come, it'svery, very exciting for the
troops that are overseas becausethey know they're going to get
a touch of home.
Even as you're getting ready tosend your Christmas cards, if
you know anybody that's deployed, send them one too.
(28:26):
Don't just send it to theirfamily and I guarantee you not
only are they going to read thatChristmas card, they're going
to read it multiple timesbecause they're lonely Putting a
note in the mail or carepackage.
I always encourage baked goodsbecause that's a real treat.
Find out from a family memberwhat are their favorite snacks.
If there are magazine, I canthrow in there a little game.
Pam McCune (28:44):
It just shows that you care If you had received a
care package, what would youhave wanted in it to be seen and
cared about?
Beth Runkle (28:52):
For the spouse loved at home something for them
to take a minute for themselves.
A foot scrub or a foot soaker,some eye patches, gift card for
the coffee shop, a candy bar.
Something to say I'm thinkingabout you.
Even pick up the little $6bouquet of flowers from the
grocery store and drop it back.
It's a little note.
Hey, I was thinking of you.
If you have time to stop andsay hello, that'd be even better
(29:15):
.
But even if you don't, just alittle, I'm thinking of you.
I want you to know you are myprayers.
That goes a long way,communicating that they are seen
by God and not forgotten.
Often that spouse that is athome feels very forgotten.
Jesslyn Adams (29:29):
You've given us so many fabulous ideas.
How can we find you online andhow can we find out more about
crew?
Beth Runkle (29:35):
military, two things.
If you want to find out moreabout crew military, we are
engaged in winning people toChrist, building them up in
their faith and sending them outon mission.
We believe the military does alot of this sending for us.
We're in about 60 baselocations in the United States.
We are in 32 other countriesand in those countries it is the
military of that country thatare doing the ministry, because
(29:56):
we believe indigenous people doa much better job of
communicating the gospel.
So that's very exciting.
And one of the biggestcountries we have a big
influence is Ukraine.
They are in the fight right nowso they could greatly use your
prayers for safety, but also forboldness to continue to share
the gospel.
We are seeing them be more andmore and more bold because they
(30:17):
know those they are serving withand themselves are being often
harmed.
I have a website.
It's called bethrunkelcom.
That's R-U-N-K-L-E, that's oneword.
I blog about military issues.
They're all with a spiritualemphasis.
I have a book coming out inOctober of next year.
It is a study based on Genesis12 through 22, which is the life
(30:38):
of Sarah and Abraham how I cameto Christ, and it is focused on
military wives to encouragethem to embrace their life as a
military wife.
Do that with trust and asovereign God who maintains
control over their chaotic anduncertain life.
Jesslyn Adams (30:53):
Beth, thank you for your service as a military
wife and for your service nowand loving on those in the
military through crew.
We appreciate you and your timewith us here.
Beth Runkle (31:03):
Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate just theopportunity to share some of the
concerns.
Obviously, I'm reallypassionate about military
families.
Military spouses are myfavorite people in the world.
I'd really appreciate y'all'sheart for reaching your
neighbors, the MBS to Go BibleStudies, which are really a
great way to easily engage yourcommunity around you in Bible
study and point them to thetruth of the word.
Jesslyn Adams (31:25):
Beth has given us so many ideas.
Personally, being curious andtaking the initiative to those
in your path is a great place tostart, but if you don't know
anyone, many websites that arehelpful SoldiersAngelsorg or
OperationGratitudecom, where youcan send letters, christmas
stockings, gift cards, donationsor being given a personal name
you can reach out to.
(31:46):
Several communities are evenrequesting volunteers in the top
10 cities of our listenersDallas, san Antonio, atlanta and
Orlando.
We will post on our Call toShine Instagram account these
websites as well as our shownotes.
Pam McCune (31:59):
John Jones tells the story in the light of life
this life is light Of a friendwho flew combat choppers in
Vietnam.
He was radioed to a secretmission one night which required
him to fly in total darkness,totally by instruments, hovering
above a jungle under heavycloud cover.
He told that it seemed youcould cut the darkness with a
(32:19):
knife.
He radioed to his man on theground and said what can you
give me?
The guy had not even aflashlight.
The landing had to be soprecise, in a small postage
stamp in the middle of thejungle.
An air of five feet could crashthe chopper and kill them all.
Finally, the man on the groundsaid I have a Zippo lighter.
The pilot said light it andhold it up.
(32:40):
In the middle of the jungles ofAsia on a top secret warfare
mission, a combat chopper pilotlanded by the light of a Zippo
lighter that pierced thedarkness.
Jesslyn Adams (32:51):
Shining our light to those in our path can give
people going through darkness,whether those navigating a new
territory, a new community ofpeople are just trying to figure
out the next right step.
When we share a light with them, it gives them the light to see
the landing pad of hope, love,life, care and light.
We have so much more to exploretogether.
(33:11):
So be sure to subscribe to ourpodcast and if today is inspired
or encouraged you, you can helpothers find us by taking a
moment to give us a review onyour favorite podcast streaming
site.
Pam McCune (33:21):
And as our thanks for joining us here, we invite
you to follow us on Instagram atcalled to shine.
As part of our called to shineInstagram community, you will
get encouragement and ideas tohelp you connect to the people
around you and, as always, youcan find resources to help you
shine the light of Jesus atmbs2gocom neighbor Bible studies
(33:43):
to go.
Thanks for joining us today.
We are called to shine.
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