August 29, 2024 • 38 mins
Dive into the profound concept of inner child wounds and their far-reaching effects on our business dealings, relationships, and overall personal well-being.
We take a detailed look at the four types of inner child wounds—beginning with abandonment—and uncover how these unresolved traumas stealthily manifest in adulthood.
You'll hear real-life stories of individuals grappling with these wounds, whether it's through the lens of seeking external validation or struggling with self-soothing, and learn to identify the signs of an unhealed inner child.
I share my personal journey of healing from childhood trauma, shaped by having an often-absent father, which led me to overwork and misconstrue love and success. We discuss the transformative power of reparenting, offering practical steps.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Calm CEO podcast.
I'm your host, amanda, a spinalenergetics practitioner,
business energetics coach,energy healer, fitness coach and
, most importantly, a dog mom.
That's right, my furry friendis always here for the good
vibes.
But today it's all abouthelping industry leading
entrepreneurs just like youunlock the secrets to healing
your nervous system and pavingthe way for more profit and
(00:32):
peace and business, life,relationships and health.
This podcast is your safe spacewhere we're going to go beyond
the basic business strategy andpersonal development.
We're here to cut out the BSand create a life and business
that you fucking love.
Expect raw, unfilteredconversations and leave each
episode with a toolbox full oftips, insights and a tribe of
(00:56):
like-minded souls.
Go ahead and hit that subscribebutton and with that, let's
dive into today's episode.
What's up world?
Okay, so today's topic is a bigone Inner child wounds, inner
child healing.
It's been a very talked abouttopic, especially in nowadays
(01:19):
culture, and I wanted to takethis as an opportunity on an
episode to discuss it, go deepwith it, talk about what are the
inner child wounds, the fourtypes of inner child wounds, how
to know the signs that you havean unhealed inner child, and
(01:40):
some pillars as far as how toreparent yourself and a little
exercise at the end when itcomes to this work.
So, what's up?
Everybody, kocho, coming in hot.
I don't know why I do that alot on these episodes, but we're
just going to go with it.
Okay, because it sounds fun andit gets me pumped up and I
(02:02):
think this is going to be a goodtopic because it's probably the
number one reason why we feelstuck as adults, why we have
unwanted patterns inrelationships.
Right, if you follow Dr NicoleLaPera with the Holistic
Psychologist, her work, hercontent, all of it is just so
(02:24):
good and juicy.
Definitely go check her out.
It's a dream to have her on thepodcast someday and, who knows,
I'm not limiting myself there,but she talks a lot about how
our relationships and how weshow up in our relationships,
especially with our loved ones,our spouses, um, our signs of
(02:46):
unhealed child wounds Okay, butalso I have discovered it in
business, right, you've?
You've been listening to mypodcast for a while.
You know that a lot of thetriggers and emotions and
dysregulated nervous system allcame from an uh, inner child
wounds.
So it's a heavy topic.
(03:07):
I mean there's, it's everything, even like your money wounds,
your relationship with money,your relationship with friends,
your relationship with I don'tknow your dog.
Okay, maybe not your dog,because everybody loves your dog
, right, but you know what Imean.
So inner child wounds is a bigtopic and so the unresolved
childhood trauma that is carriedinto adulthood and then
(03:32):
manifests into trauma cycles isthe definition of an inner child
wound.
Okay, it's where needs wereunmet, it's where we felt unsafe
as a child and this is going tocorrelate as trauma.
Okay, trauma is where thoseneeds were unmet.
It's not the significant sexualabuse or you know, not to
(03:54):
minimize that in any way, buttrauma could be from needs not
being met or just feeling unsafe.
So a lot of limiting beliefsare actually formed before the
age of eight, believe it or not.
Okay, so we all have an innerchild and trauma affects that
(04:17):
little child within us.
And a healed inner child isgoing to feel safe emotionally
and mentally.
Okay, they know how to meettheir own needs and you can go
inside to meet your own needs,um, instead of outside.
This is how you know you have ahealed inner child.
(04:38):
Now, an unhealed inner child isgoing to be looking for
external validation.
You're not going to be able toself soothe, meet your own needs
.
When we have experiences inchildhood that caused wounding,
that made us feel unsafe, or hadsituation where our needs were
(04:59):
not met, okay, it's um, if, if,if, left unhealed, it's going to
set the foundation to basicallyall relationships.
Okay.
So, the four types of healingwounds we're going to dive into
this next.
So we have number one.
(05:19):
Excuse me, excuse, the clearingum is abandonment.
Okay, if you were abandoned asa child, you may fear being
alone or left out.
Okay, a lot of abandonmentwounds, from what I've seen and
witnessed and experienced myself, could come from adoption.
(05:43):
It could come from having, like, an alcoholic mother or father.
It could come from having toomany kids in the family or
parents worked too much.
Okay, you um this could alsocome from other peers, not just
your parents.
Okay, so, like with friends inschool, you were left out of the
(06:07):
popular group or kicked out ofthe a friend group.
Okay, so abandonment is a huge,big wound that I have seen, uh,
carry over into adulthood in somany different, um, different
ways, but especially inrelationships, right, like in
(06:31):
friend groups, fearing lettinggo of certain friends that you
know are toxic for you, out offear of being abandoned or being
left alone, okay.
Or when it comes to your lovedones.
Or when it comes to your lovedones, when you are so afraid of
(06:51):
them cheating, perhaps it couldstem from a fear of abandonment
and being alone.
Okay, same with money.
Or have you had money thatsuddenly disappeared as a young
kid?
Your parents went through adivorce, filed a bankruptcy and
now you have an abandonmentwound with money, or that's how
it shows up for you in yourbusiness okay, so super
(07:13):
important to become aware ofthat.
If that is a pattern thatyou're noticing in today's world
, okay.
The second type of inner childwound is trust.
Okay, if the adults in yourlife didn't protect you from
danger growing up, then you mayfeel insecure or afraid of
(07:38):
getting hurt.
Okay, so this could look likebroken promises from parents,
abusive parents right, it's hardto believe in the sincerity of
others today, okay.
So trust this is a huge innerchild wound, and I know a lot of
(07:59):
people who struggle withtrusting their spouses because
they've had their trust brokenmany times in the past, or even
just one time.
All it takes is one time and so, yeah, lacking that trust and a
lot of these, you knowabandonment and trust is, and
(08:20):
actually what the?
It's the frequency and thevibration of how we're feeling
deep within.
So, deep within, you'reabandoning yourself in some way
or not trusting yourself in someway.
Okay, so the triggers intoday's world, um, or if things
are bothering you, then it's asign of something unhealed,
(08:45):
because a part of you believesthat it's to some context.
Okay.
So if something has beenweighing on you to go inward, I
invite you to go inward toreally look at these and I know
this is really hard, but Ipromise you there's so much
light on the other side of this.
There's a reason why thosesituations have been presented
(09:05):
to you, why those patterns ofyou know maybe being cheated on,
or maybe having lack of moneyin business or inconsistency in
business, and or not attractingthe right teammates or loved
ones in your life or friends.
It's because of these wounds orfrequencies that you're holding
(09:25):
on to.
Okay.
So, abandonment, trust two bigones.
The third one is guilt.
Okay, if you are made to feelguilty, as a child, you may not
like to ask for favors or setboundaries.
This was a big one for me, okay, especially when we lost
everything to a wildfire.
(09:46):
We needed help, and boy did Ihave to learn how to ask for
help without feeling guiltyabout it.
Um, but, yeah, being blamed forconflicts and family.
Older kids are more prone tothis um, not saying every kid is
, but that typically is the case.
There's that responsibility.
(10:07):
Being the oldest kid, okay.
Putting others needs beforeyour own doesn't feel good
enough.
I know that's a big one formoms out there who struggle to
put themselves first.
They feel guilty if they dosomething for themselves.
Okay, that wound could becoming from a childhood wound
(10:27):
where you were possibly made tofeel guilty as a child.
If you don't do X, y and Z,then you are a bad kid.
Okay, so lean into that if thisis resonating with you as an
opportunity to heal it.
Okay, as an opportunity to healit okay.
(10:49):
Neglect is the fourth type ofwound I want to discuss and
that's if you were neglected,okay.
This can lead to lowself-esteem, repressed emotions
and difficulty saying no.
Hello, people pleasers, okay.
Okay, parents prioritize theirown needs over their kids, okay.
(11:10):
Um, obviously I'm not sayingthat a parent shouldn't give
themselves that self-love andself-care like I was just
talking about, like where youfeel guilty, but where they do
it so much where they forgetabout their children's needs.
Okay, that's why, um, this,this is, this is a neglect is a
big one.
(11:30):
Okay, they, the parents, reallyprovide the attention and the
nurture that the child needs,even if they think they're doing
everything they can.
Some, a lot of parents don'trealize that they're not, um,
that they're doing this Okay,and it's going to create a lot
of low self-esteem.
Uh, you can struggle with theself-care.
(11:51):
You can struggle withregulating your emotions, okay,
um, that feeling of abandonment.
So neglect is another type ofdeep inner child wound.
So how do we know the signs?
How do we know we have an innerchild wound?
(12:14):
So there's a few right, okay,people pleasing behavior, such
as trouble, saying no, all right, difficulty, setting and
enforcing boundaries.
Maybe you're feeling guilty forstanding up for yourself, okay,
(12:34):
avoiding conflict at everychance possible.
Maybe you were around a lot ofconflict growing up and anytime
you spoke up for yourself, youwere punished severely for it.
Okay, fear of abandonment orletting go.
Maybe feeling inadequate orunworthy, constant criticisms
(12:58):
you know you have the stronginner critic, a lot of
self-sabotaging behaviors.
Um, just feeling not goodenough, right, or you don't
matter, you're afraid to ask forhelp, or you're fearing, um,
you fear you're being a burden,okay, that that's big.
If you had a narcissist parentin your family, um.
(13:19):
So, yeah, these are all signs.
I mean there's so manydifferent signs out there, but
more than likely, any triggeranything that creates a reaction
in your emotions or how youfeel.
If you feel like tense andsweaty when it comes to facing a
(13:41):
conversation, it could bestemmed most likely from a
conversation when you were achild that made you feel that
way, and it's really importantto know this, these, these signs
, because we have to get to theroot.
Okay, this is why a lot ofpeople end up getting stuck,
(14:01):
despite trying everything isbecause they're probably not
getting to the root, to wherethat first started.
One of the biggest things that Ilearned when I was healing my
sexual trauma was that I needed,I couldn't, I couldn't go to
the more recent traumas.
I had to go to the very firstone and where it originated,
(14:22):
because that's going to have aripple effect on all the other
stories.
Right, when I create, um, a newstory around that wound, then
then it creates new stories.
For the rest, it really doeshave a ripple effect.
So, yeah, getting to the rootof where these are coming from
(14:42):
now.
It's really common um just toshare really quickly.
When I'm doing a session onclients, I will pick up on um if
it is an inner child wound ornot.
Sometimes I literally will getan image of them as a child what
they're wearing, what they'redoing, what age they are, what
is happening, what the trauma is.
(15:03):
And so when I'm healingsomebody, a lot of times that's
what we're working on we'reshifting those patterns within
so that they can um release anyof those tension patterns being
stored within the body.
That's creating these, uh,current signs in their reality.
Okay, so, knowing your signs isso, so, so important.
(15:29):
Um, you know, just to share astory, so, um, growing up, my
dad.
He's a doctor and he had 10kids.
I don't know how my mom did it.
I love you, mom.
I don't know if you actuallylistened to this or not, but my
dad used to work crazy hours tosupport the family, and so he
(15:54):
would be gone sunrise to sunset.
Sometimes I wouldn't ever evensee him.
He would work a sunrise tosunset.
Sometimes I wouldn't ever evensee him.
He would work a lot of holidays.
He just was never home.
It was just the kids and my momwas raising us, and it was.
You know, it was still a goodchildhood, but because of my
dad's absence, it actuallycreated this ego story for me
(16:17):
that, uh, the more I worked, themore money I would make,
because I noticed, with himbeing gone more and more, we
actually started making more andmore money, right, um, instead
of realizing that, no, he wasout of medical school.
You know, I, but I just createdthis story right.
(16:37):
Or, the more I worked, um, thethe more successful I was, the
more I would be loved.
Okay, that was another egostory I created because, as my
dad became a doctor, so I wasborn while he was still in
college and university for itand med school, and then by the
time I was I think it was likeeight or 10, he became very
(17:01):
successful in our local town andeverybody loved him, and so
everybody would talk about DrO'Mara, right?
And so I felt like, oh well, ifI, the only way I can get my
dad's attention or feel loved isif I'm successful, I create a
name for myself or create thisidentity about myself, Right?
(17:23):
So that is just a sign, right?
So what ended up happening in myadulthood years was I started
working in restaurants and I Iwould be the one that would come
in early, like an hour or twoearly, to get stuff done, and
(17:45):
then I would always ask to closethe shift.
I was waiting tables bartending, and I would do that like five
nights a week, sometimes six orseven nights a week, depending
on the week.
Like I worked my butt off and Ithought that that was what I
needed to do to feel loved, andI loved making money too, which
(18:06):
was nothing wrong with that.
But I you know it's verydysregulated.
Because of that, I wasn'ttaking care of myself because of
that.
So that carried over into mytwenties when I was working in
the restaurants, and then Icarried over into starting my
first business, where I and Istill sometimes do.
It's something I'm stillworking on.
But, oh my gosh, I've healed somuch from this.
(18:29):
But when I started my firstbusiness I kid you not like I
would think about work 24 7.
I could never turn my freakingbrain off.
I would dream about work.
I'd be thinking about myclients all the time.
I would be so afraid of if Iwasn't working, then I'd be
missing out on something, andthat when I would take a
(18:51):
vacation, it felt guilty,because I felt like I should be
working and I would work sun upto sun down, just like my dad
did.
And I just worked and workedand worked.
And, yes, I did becomesuccessful, because that was my
belief, that's what I believedin.
And yet that wasn't in totalalignment with me deep down,
(19:12):
because I was like, well, howcome there's like people over
here playing golf all the timeand they're multi-billionaires,
right?
And so I had to start goingdown that rabbit hole to begin
to shift that story, because Iwas like I don't want to work
this hard for the rest of mylife.
I want to enjoy a life.
The whole reason I started mybusiness was to build it around
(19:34):
my life and not my life aroundmy business.
And that's exactly what I wasdoing.
And so I had to go back intothat little girl in me at a very
, very young age and give herwhat she needed and change the
story of my dad.
And this is how you do a lot ofinner child work you change the
(19:57):
story.
So, for example, instead ofbeing the victim to, yeah, my
dad worked a lot and it wasnever home, what if you started
to change the story?
Because your body doesn't knowthe difference between your
thoughts and what's real and notreal.
Right, you change the story to,um, your dad coming a lot, like
(20:20):
in what you're doing, likeliterally visualizing yourself
spending time with your dad,playing with your dad, going on
vacations in which we did all ofthose things.
But, but I was so attached tothat old story of what happened
(20:42):
to me versus you know, focusingmore on, like, the bad parts of
my childhood versus the goodparts of my childhood.
Does that make sense?
So maybe you do have other goodstories?
So, instead of creating a newstory, you could focus on the
other good sides of it.
So this's, this is how you getout of that victim mentality and
take responsibility and controlof your emotions and unwanted
(21:06):
patterns.
Today is by what you focus on.
Okay, what story you want tocreate instead?
So I do want to quickly sharethat admitting we have childhood
trauma does not mean yourparents were awful, Okay, I just
want to share that really quick.
Um, cause, like with my dad, mydad was working and he thought
(21:26):
that's what was important tohelp his family and, yes, it
definitely supported us, but hedidn't realize what we needed
more was him to be around more,okay.
So admitting we have childhoodtrauma does not mean our
caregivers were awful, okay, ornot saying we were abused,
unless, of course, that happened, okay.
(21:48):
A lot of people have shamearound trauma.
We think if we admit we havechildhood trauma, that it means
they are throwing their parentsunder the bus, and this causes
people to continue to avoid andminimize their experiences and
if we do this, we cannot heal.
(22:10):
So really important tounderstand that.
Understand that your parentshave trauma too, and it was
handed down from their parentsand their parents and their
parents.
But you are breaking the cycle.
Being being here right now andtaking the actions to heal your
inner child, listening to thispodcast episode is helping you
(22:34):
begin to break those cycles anddoing the freaking healing work,
right, so just wanted to putthat out there.
So, yeah, inner child healingis all about, uh, reparenting
yourself.
That's what it really is.
So, really giving yourself whatyou didn't get, okay, learning
(22:55):
how to create safety emotional,physical and mental safety,
looking or learning how to lookinside for everything that you
need instead of on the outsidefor yourself.
I know about you, but I used toalways ask for other people's
opinions, like, well, what doyou think of this and well, I
(23:17):
don't know, what do you think ofthis?
And well, I don't know, what doyou think of that?
Like you know, looking forpeople to tell us that we're
beautiful instead of tellingourselves that we're beautiful.
Like seeking love outside of uswhen we need to find that first
within us, seeking belonginginstead of abandonment, you know
, instead of abandoningourselves.
(23:39):
So, giving yourself what youneeded that you didn't get.
So that could look likevisualizing, doing a meditation
of an inner child within you,whatever age comes up for you.
You might even have like aprominent memory when you do
this, where you can think ofexactly, maybe, what was going
(24:02):
on and begin to tap into thatand then hold her hands, the
adult version of you holding herhands, giving her a hug, or you
know, this could look differentfor anybody Maybe you're just
sitting there, maybe she's onyour lap, or maybe you're
holding her uh, yourself in yourarms as a baby and cradling her
.
Okay, so, seeing that innerchild and then beginning to
(24:25):
reparent her and you being theparent for her, giving her the
love and attention that shenever needed, teaching her how
to emotionally regulate,creating that safety, creating
the words.
What words?
What does she need to hear fromyou in order for her to feel
(24:48):
seen, heard, understood, lovedand belonged and cared for?
So that is what inner childhealing is all about.
It's about reparenting you,okay.
So there are four pillars aswell to reparenting.
So the first one is aboutloving discipline.
(25:11):
So, as children, many of uswere not taught the simple,
helpful, healthy habits andrituals, okay, and so when we
can begin to cultivate lovingdiscipline by doing things like
keeping small promises toourselves, having a daily
(25:35):
routine, saying no more often,setting boundaries, giving
yourself alone time, reallycommunicating and stating our
needs, especially with ourspouses, this is how we
cultivate loving discipline.
This is how we cultivate thatfirst pillar of reparenting,
(25:56):
okay, loving discipline.
The second pillar I want toshare is self-care and, by the
way, I really wish I cannotremember where I found these
four pillars.
I think it was in a book.
I wrote this years ago and Ipulled up these notes.
So please know that don't quoteme on all of this, but these
(26:21):
four pillars are from a resourcethat I cannot remember
Anonymous.
Okay, all right.
So number two pillar isself-care.
Self-care, um, again, aschildren, many of us were not
taught the value of sleep,movement, exercise, resting,
(26:42):
nutrients, connection to nature.
We can cultivate that, though,through self-care, by going to
bed earlier, eating at home,doing maybe five minute
meditations, or moving your bodyfor five minutes, getting
outside, going for a walk,journaling, nature, sun,
(27:06):
connection with others out thereokay.
Spending time with friends,going out to eat, doing some fun
things, laughing okay.
So self-care is a huge pillarto reparenting yourself, doing
the things that maybe youweren't able to do as a child.
Do those now.
How do you need to learn how toemotionally regulate?
(27:27):
Okay, actually, that's thefourth pillar, emotional
regulation.
So we'll just go into that onenext and then I'll share the
other one.
Um, um, so emotional regulation.
Many of us were not actuallytaught the value or the practice
of having emotional awareness.
(27:47):
So when we can begincultivating that regulation by
observing feelings in the body,for example, can we begin to
regulate?
Okay, breath work using yourbreath.
Okay, you don't have to sign upfor a breath work class.
You could simply do 10 long,deep breaths to regulate your
(28:14):
emotions.
There's hot and cold therapy,awareness of your nervous system
.
Uh, causes, without thejudgment.
A lot of people that get intothis work, um, and emotional
regulation, are so ashamed orafraid, or hate these, um, the
shame that we're holding onto,or the the fear that we're
(28:37):
holding on to, but the thing islike, that's the human
experience.
So, you know, looking at thetension patterns without
judgment, without fear,emotional regulation right, it's
all about nervous systemregulation it's all about, you
know, spinal energetics is allabout regulating the nervous
(28:59):
system.
That's what it is.
A lot of clients, especiallytheir first few sessions with me
, I will actually yawn quite abit and that's actually a sign
of a dysregulated nervous system.
That's the clear that I haveassociated when working on my
clients, and it's been trueevery time.
Or I've had clients who I'vebeen working with for a while
(29:20):
they go through this lifeexperience that was turmoil, and
then they come back for asession and we have to get them
regulated again.
But then they have the toolsand the resources, the
remembrance within and how tolet those pains or tension
patterns go.
Okay, so it gets easier.
It gets easier as you go, um,so, anyways, that's how you can
(29:43):
learn how to regulate youremotions.
Obviously, pets probably myfavorite way.
I've got two dogs, the bestsnuggle buddies ever.
They're like oh, I fucking lovethat.
So, yes, pets, yes, pets areawesome.
I mean, there's so many ways toregulate your emotions, so just
take some time.
(30:03):
Hey, petu, ooh, bless me,excuse me.
So take some time to reflect onwhat was just discussed here.
What unresolved inner childwounds do you have?
Um, so the fourth pillar I wantto talk about before ending this
(30:26):
episode is joy.
Um, this is really important tohow you can reparent yourself.
Okay, um, as kids, many of usweren't taught the value of joy
and spontaneity, imagination,creativity, play, pure presence.
(30:47):
A lot of us weren't taught howto really tap into this, and it
doesn't surprise me when I seeclients on my table begin to
express suppressed joy andhappiness and bliss, because
that is part of the humanexperience, actually like, why
(31:08):
we're here is to create deeperdepths of these higher
vibrations like joy and love andhappiness.
And so we were not taught thevalue of how to really feel that
, really feel that and bepresent in our bodies, and we
(31:29):
can do that through things likedancing, singing, doing things
on the whim, creating a newhobby, music music is a big one.
Complimenting strangers on thestreet, connecting with your
(31:49):
friends.
When's the last time you trulyfelt joy?
I had this conversation withsomeone the other day where they
stopped and it was like thelongest pause ever.
They're like holy shit, likeit's been years, years, like,
like when is the last time youtruly have felt joy?
(32:14):
Okay, so important.
So what unresolved inner childwounds do you have?
What evidence do you have tosupport that?
What healing can you do to helpthat?
Can you do to help that,whether that's breath work,
spinal energetics, um, yoga,therapy, emdr, I mean, there's
(32:38):
so many things you could do, but, if I recommend anything, do
anything that involves the bodyup and not a head down approach,
uh, so that you can the, thebody can also heal what it has
been patterned to do.
Okay, so an exercise, someexercises you can do, um, to
(32:58):
kind of finalize this, this uhtopic here today and leave you
with some tangible action steps.
Um, I want to give you three,three things that you can do.
These have been things thathave had a profound effect not
only on my clients but myself aswell, and I hope that they help
you.
They definitely will if youtake time for this, but the
(33:20):
first and foremost one iswriting a letter to your inner
child.
The second one is to find aphoto of yourself, maybe between
the ages of like three andseven.
And as you're looking at thisphoto and you can leave this
(33:46):
photo at your desk as ascreensaver on your phone, maybe
on your mirror, someplace whereyou see it every day and I want
you to ask yourself what wouldI like to tell my younger self
and what does my younger selfneed to know or hear, but was
(34:08):
never told?
What does my younger self needto know or hear but was never
told?
And if I could go back in timeand offer love and support, what
would I say?
Journal on this, if you feelcalled to, or maybe speak it
privately or out loud.
(34:29):
As you look at this photo anddo this, do this exercise until
it feels like it clicks, untilit feels like things begin to
change or shift or you don'tfeel an attachment to the wound
anymore.
Okay, um, this is kind of this.
One kind of ties into the firstone, but you can also journal
(34:52):
out by starting with dear littlewounded, amanda, dear little
wounded, insert your name dearlittle wounded, jessica, amy,
(35:20):
john, whatever your name is.
Speak to her or him.
Begin that letter with dearlittle wounded and see where
that takes you.
Write a letter to that littleinner child and you know what.
You know what.
I let me see if I can do this.
You know what I'm going to dothis.
I was debating if I should, butit came through for you, for me
(35:43):
to share with you all today.
But I have a healing audio.
That's an inner child healingand I will link that below so
you have a meditation that youcan do as well.
That's the third exercise thatI want you to take with you If
you feel called to do it.
It's super powerful.
First time I did inner childwork, I did cry like a baby, but
(36:04):
that's okay.
That's what my little girlneeded.
She needed to express sadness.
It's a beautiful journey.
It's not a one-time thing.
If you think about you know howlong your childhood was.
There's probably layers there.
So be patient as you do thisbut, more importantly, give
(36:25):
yourself that love and grace andcompassion as you work through
this.
Hold that picture of youyounger, near and close as you
navigate this, and so much loveto you and I love you so much.
Have a beautiful day.
Thank you so much for listeningto this podcast episode.
Really quick.
I wanted to share a couple newofferings.
(36:48):
If you haven't heard yet, wehave a couples spinal energetic
session now available, where youcan bring your friend, your
spouse, to experience spinalenergetics together and create a
deeper bond with each otherthrough personalized attention.
That's going to help fosterharmony and deeply strengthen
(37:08):
your relationship.
I know, with my husband, sincedoing healing work together, we
have never been stronger and 14years strong, and we are feeling
like we're just getting started, um, and it has been the best
thing we have ever done.
The other offer I'm offeringnow is online group spinal
energetics with breath work.
Now, if you have a session, uh,that you want to do, but you
(37:32):
want to have your team there,your clients there, your friends
or your family, this is theoffer for you.
Maximum of six people.
However, if you have morepeople than that, just let me
know and I will curate a betteroffer.
That's custom to whatever it isthat you're looking for.
So, when we have a group ofpeople coming together, it
creates a lot of energy.
(37:53):
If you've ever done a grouphealing session, you'll know
what I mean and it makes for anincredibly powerful healing
experience.
So I'm going to be there toorchestrate the energy of the
room and provide a uniqueexperience for the collective
that's going to create a deeperand stronger bond with one
another.
So both of those options aregoing to be below to book one of
(38:15):
these sessions, or if you justwant to come back or book your
first session with me for spinalenergetics coaching, breath
work.
Those offers will be listedbelow as well.
Thank you so much for listeningagain and we'll see you on the
next one.
Welcome to the Calm CEO podcast.
I'm your host, amanda, a spinalenergetics practitioner,
business energetics coach,energy healer, fitness coach and
, most importantly, a dog mom.
That's right, my furry friendis always here for the good
vibes.
But today it's all abouthelping industry leading
entrepreneurs just like youunlock the secrets to healing
your nervous system and pavingthe way for more profit and
(00:32):
peace and business, life,relationships and health.
This podcast is your safe spacewhere we're going to go beyond
the basic business strategy andpersonal development.
We're here to cut out the BSand create a life and business
that you fucking love.
Expect raw, unfilteredconversations and leave each
episode with a toolbox full oftips, insights and a tribe of
(00:56):
like-minded souls.
Go ahead and hit that subscribebutton and with that, let's
dive into today's episode.
What's up world?
Okay, so today's topic is a bigone Inner child wounds, inner
child healing.
It's been a very talked abouttopic, especially in nowadays
(01:19):
culture, and I wanted to takethis as an opportunity on an
episode to discuss it, go deepwith it, talk about what are the
inner child wounds, the fourtypes of inner child wounds, how
to know the signs that you havean unhealed inner child, and
(01:40):
some pillars as far as how toreparent yourself and a little
exercise at the end when itcomes to this work.
So, what's up?
Everybody, kocho, coming in hot.
I don't know why I do that alot on these episodes, but we're
just going to go with it.
Okay, because it sounds fun andit gets me pumped up and I
(02:02):
think this is going to be a goodtopic because it's probably the
number one reason why we feelstuck as adults, why we have
unwanted patterns inrelationships.
Right, if you follow Dr NicoleLaPera with the Holistic
Psychologist, her work, hercontent, all of it is just so
(02:24):
good and juicy.
Definitely go check her out.
It's a dream to have her on thepodcast someday and, who knows,
I'm not limiting myself there,but she talks a lot about how
our relationships and how weshow up in our relationships,
especially with our loved ones,our spouses, um, our signs of
(02:46):
unhealed child wounds Okay, butalso I have discovered it in
business, right, you've?
You've been listening to mypodcast for a while.
You know that a lot of thetriggers and emotions and
dysregulated nervous system allcame from an uh, inner child
wounds.
So it's a heavy topic.
(03:07):
I mean there's, it's everything, even like your money wounds,
your relationship with money,your relationship with friends,
your relationship with I don'tknow your dog.
Okay, maybe not your dog,because everybody loves your dog
, right, but you know what Imean.
So inner child wounds is a bigtopic and so the unresolved
childhood trauma that is carriedinto adulthood and then
(03:32):
manifests into trauma cycles isthe definition of an inner child
wound.
Okay, it's where needs wereunmet, it's where we felt unsafe
as a child and this is going tocorrelate as trauma.
Okay, trauma is where thoseneeds were unmet.
It's not the significant sexualabuse or you know, not to
(03:54):
minimize that in any way, buttrauma could be from needs not
being met or just feeling unsafe.
So a lot of limiting beliefsare actually formed before the
age of eight, believe it or not.
Okay, so we all have an innerchild and trauma affects that
(04:17):
little child within us.
And a healed inner child isgoing to feel safe emotionally
and mentally.
Okay, they know how to meettheir own needs and you can go
inside to meet your own needs,um, instead of outside.
This is how you know you have ahealed inner child.
(04:38):
Now, an unhealed inner child isgoing to be looking for
external validation.
You're not going to be able toself soothe, meet your own needs
.
When we have experiences inchildhood that caused wounding,
that made us feel unsafe, or hadsituation where our needs were
(04:59):
not met, okay, it's um, if, if,if, left unhealed, it's going to
set the foundation to basicallyall relationships.
Okay.
So, the four types of healingwounds we're going to dive into
this next.
So we have number one.
(05:19):
Excuse me, excuse, the clearingum is abandonment.
Okay, if you were abandoned asa child, you may fear being
alone or left out.
Okay, a lot of abandonmentwounds, from what I've seen and
witnessed and experienced myself, could come from adoption.
(05:43):
It could come from having, like, an alcoholic mother or father.
It could come from having toomany kids in the family or
parents worked too much.
Okay, you um this could alsocome from other peers, not just
your parents.
Okay, so, like with friends inschool, you were left out of the
(06:07):
popular group or kicked out ofthe a friend group.
Okay, so abandonment is a huge,big wound that I have seen, uh,
carry over into adulthood in somany different, um, different
ways, but especially inrelationships, right, like in
(06:31):
friend groups, fearing lettinggo of certain friends that you
know are toxic for you, out offear of being abandoned or being
left alone, okay.
Or when it comes to your lovedones.
Or when it comes to your lovedones, when you are so afraid of
(06:51):
them cheating, perhaps it couldstem from a fear of abandonment
and being alone.
Okay, same with money.
Or have you had money thatsuddenly disappeared as a young
kid?
Your parents went through adivorce, filed a bankruptcy and
now you have an abandonmentwound with money, or that's how
it shows up for you in yourbusiness okay, so super
(07:13):
important to become aware ofthat.
If that is a pattern thatyou're noticing in today's world
, okay.
The second type of inner childwound is trust.
Okay, if the adults in yourlife didn't protect you from
danger growing up, then you mayfeel insecure or afraid of
(07:38):
getting hurt.
Okay, so this could look likebroken promises from parents,
abusive parents right, it's hardto believe in the sincerity of
others today, okay.
So trust this is a huge innerchild wound, and I know a lot of
(07:59):
people who struggle withtrusting their spouses because
they've had their trust brokenmany times in the past, or even
just one time.
All it takes is one time and so, yeah, lacking that trust and a
lot of these, you knowabandonment and trust is, and
(08:20):
actually what the?
It's the frequency and thevibration of how we're feeling
deep within.
So, deep within, you'reabandoning yourself in some way
or not trusting yourself in someway.
Okay, so the triggers intoday's world, um, or if things
are bothering you, then it's asign of something unhealed,
(08:45):
because a part of you believesthat it's to some context.
Okay.
So if something has beenweighing on you to go inward, I
invite you to go inward toreally look at these and I know
this is really hard, but Ipromise you there's so much
light on the other side of this.
There's a reason why thosesituations have been presented
(09:05):
to you, why those patterns ofyou know maybe being cheated on,
or maybe having lack of moneyin business or inconsistency in
business, and or not attractingthe right teammates or loved
ones in your life or friends.
It's because of these wounds orfrequencies that you're holding
(09:25):
on to.
Okay.
So, abandonment, trust two bigones.
The third one is guilt.
Okay, if you are made to feelguilty, as a child, you may not
like to ask for favors or setboundaries.
This was a big one for me, okay, especially when we lost
everything to a wildfire.
(09:46):
We needed help, and boy did Ihave to learn how to ask for
help without feeling guiltyabout it.
Um, but, yeah, being blamed forconflicts and family.
Older kids are more prone tothis um, not saying every kid is
, but that typically is the case.
There's that responsibility.
(10:07):
Being the oldest kid, okay.
Putting others needs beforeyour own doesn't feel good
enough.
I know that's a big one formoms out there who struggle to
put themselves first.
They feel guilty if they dosomething for themselves.
Okay, that wound could becoming from a childhood wound
(10:27):
where you were possibly made tofeel guilty as a child.
If you don't do X, y and Z,then you are a bad kid.
Okay, so lean into that if thisis resonating with you as an
opportunity to heal it.
Okay, as an opportunity to healit okay.
(10:49):
Neglect is the fourth type ofwound I want to discuss and
that's if you were neglected,okay.
This can lead to lowself-esteem, repressed emotions
and difficulty saying no.
Hello, people pleasers, okay.
Okay, parents prioritize theirown needs over their kids, okay.
(11:10):
Um, obviously I'm not sayingthat a parent shouldn't give
themselves that self-love andself-care like I was just
talking about, like where youfeel guilty, but where they do
it so much where they forgetabout their children's needs.
Okay, that's why, um, this,this is, this is a neglect is a
big one.
(11:30):
Okay, they, the parents, reallyprovide the attention and the
nurture that the child needs,even if they think they're doing
everything they can.
Some, a lot of parents don'trealize that they're not, um,
that they're doing this Okay,and it's going to create a lot
of low self-esteem.
Uh, you can struggle with theself-care.
(11:51):
You can struggle withregulating your emotions, okay,
um, that feeling of abandonment.
So neglect is another type ofdeep inner child wound.
So how do we know the signs?
How do we know we have an innerchild wound?
(12:14):
So there's a few right, okay,people pleasing behavior, such
as trouble, saying no, all right, difficulty, setting and
enforcing boundaries.
Maybe you're feeling guilty forstanding up for yourself, okay,
(12:34):
avoiding conflict at everychance possible.
Maybe you were around a lot ofconflict growing up and anytime
you spoke up for yourself, youwere punished severely for it.
Okay, fear of abandonment orletting go.
Maybe feeling inadequate orunworthy, constant criticisms
(12:58):
you know you have the stronginner critic, a lot of
self-sabotaging behaviors.
Um, just feeling not goodenough, right, or you don't
matter, you're afraid to ask forhelp, or you're fearing, um,
you fear you're being a burden,okay, that that's big.
If you had a narcissist parentin your family, um.
(13:19):
So, yeah, these are all signs.
I mean there's so manydifferent signs out there, but
more than likely, any triggeranything that creates a reaction
in your emotions or how youfeel.
If you feel like tense andsweaty when it comes to facing a
(13:41):
conversation, it could bestemmed most likely from a
conversation when you were achild that made you feel that
way, and it's really importantto know this, these, these signs
, because we have to get to theroot.
Okay, this is why a lot ofpeople end up getting stuck,
(14:01):
despite trying everything isbecause they're probably not
getting to the root, to wherethat first started.
One of the biggest things that Ilearned when I was healing my
sexual trauma was that I needed,I couldn't, I couldn't go to
the more recent traumas.
I had to go to the very firstone and where it originated,
(14:22):
because that's going to have aripple effect on all the other
stories.
Right, when I create, um, a newstory around that wound, then
then it creates new stories.
For the rest, it really doeshave a ripple effect.
So, yeah, getting to the rootof where these are coming from
(14:42):
now.
It's really common um just toshare really quickly.
When I'm doing a session onclients, I will pick up on um if
it is an inner child wound ornot.
Sometimes I literally will getan image of them as a child what
they're wearing, what they'redoing, what age they are, what
is happening, what the trauma is.
(15:03):
And so when I'm healingsomebody, a lot of times that's
what we're working on we'reshifting those patterns within
so that they can um release anyof those tension patterns being
stored within the body.
That's creating these, uh,current signs in their reality.
Okay, so, knowing your signs isso, so, so important.
(15:29):
Um, you know, just to share astory, so, um, growing up, my
dad.
He's a doctor and he had 10kids.
I don't know how my mom did it.
I love you, mom.
I don't know if you actuallylistened to this or not, but my
dad used to work crazy hours tosupport the family, and so he
(15:54):
would be gone sunrise to sunset.
Sometimes I wouldn't ever evensee him.
He would work a sunrise tosunset.
Sometimes I wouldn't ever evensee him.
He would work a lot of holidays.
He just was never home.
It was just the kids and my momwas raising us, and it was.
You know, it was still a goodchildhood, but because of my
dad's absence, it actuallycreated this ego story for me
(16:17):
that, uh, the more I worked, themore money I would make,
because I noticed, with himbeing gone more and more, we
actually started making more andmore money, right, um, instead
of realizing that, no, he wasout of medical school.
You know, I, but I just createdthis story right.
(16:37):
Or, the more I worked, um, thethe more successful I was, the
more I would be loved.
Okay, that was another egostory I created because, as my
dad became a doctor, so I wasborn while he was still in
college and university for itand med school, and then by the
time I was I think it was likeeight or 10, he became very
(17:01):
successful in our local town andeverybody loved him, and so
everybody would talk about DrO'Mara, right?
And so I felt like, oh well, ifI, the only way I can get my
dad's attention or feel loved isif I'm successful, I create a
name for myself or create thisidentity about myself, Right?
(17:23):
So that is just a sign, right?
So what ended up happening in myadulthood years was I started
working in restaurants and I Iwould be the one that would come
in early, like an hour or twoearly, to get stuff done, and
(17:45):
then I would always ask to closethe shift.
I was waiting tables bartending, and I would do that like five
nights a week, sometimes six orseven nights a week, depending
on the week.
Like I worked my butt off and Ithought that that was what I
needed to do to feel loved, andI loved making money too, which
(18:06):
was nothing wrong with that.
But I you know it's verydysregulated.
Because of that, I wasn'ttaking care of myself because of
that.
So that carried over into mytwenties when I was working in
the restaurants, and then Icarried over into starting my
first business, where I and Istill sometimes do.
It's something I'm stillworking on.
But, oh my gosh, I've healed somuch from this.
(18:29):
But when I started my firstbusiness I kid you not like I
would think about work 24 7.
I could never turn my freakingbrain off.
I would dream about work.
I'd be thinking about myclients all the time.
I would be so afraid of if Iwasn't working, then I'd be
missing out on something, andthat when I would take a
(18:51):
vacation, it felt guilty,because I felt like I should be
working and I would work sun upto sun down, just like my dad
did.
And I just worked and workedand worked.
And, yes, I did becomesuccessful, because that was my
belief, that's what I believedin.
And yet that wasn't in totalalignment with me deep down,
(19:12):
because I was like, well, howcome there's like people over
here playing golf all the timeand they're multi-billionaires,
right?
And so I had to start goingdown that rabbit hole to begin
to shift that story, because Iwas like I don't want to work
this hard for the rest of mylife.
I want to enjoy a life.
The whole reason I started mybusiness was to build it around
(19:34):
my life and not my life aroundmy business.
And that's exactly what I wasdoing.
And so I had to go back intothat little girl in me at a very
, very young age and give herwhat she needed and change the
story of my dad.
And this is how you do a lot ofinner child work you change the
(19:57):
story.
So, for example, instead ofbeing the victim to, yeah, my
dad worked a lot and it wasnever home, what if you started
to change the story?
Because your body doesn't knowthe difference between your
thoughts and what's real and notreal.
Right, you change the story to,um, your dad coming a lot, like
(20:20):
in what you're doing, likeliterally visualizing yourself
spending time with your dad,playing with your dad, going on
vacations in which we did all ofthose things.
But, but I was so attached tothat old story of what happened
(20:42):
to me versus you know, focusingmore on, like, the bad parts of
my childhood versus the goodparts of my childhood.
Does that make sense?
So maybe you do have other goodstories?
So, instead of creating a newstory, you could focus on the
other good sides of it.
So this's, this is how you getout of that victim mentality and
take responsibility and controlof your emotions and unwanted
(21:06):
patterns.
Today is by what you focus on.
Okay, what story you want tocreate instead?
So I do want to quickly sharethat admitting we have childhood
trauma does not mean yourparents were awful, Okay, I just
want to share that really quick.
Um, cause, like with my dad, mydad was working and he thought
(21:26):
that's what was important tohelp his family and, yes, it
definitely supported us, but hedidn't realize what we needed
more was him to be around more,okay.
So admitting we have childhoodtrauma does not mean our
caregivers were awful, okay, ornot saying we were abused,
unless, of course, that happened, okay.
(21:48):
A lot of people have shamearound trauma.
We think if we admit we havechildhood trauma, that it means
they are throwing their parentsunder the bus, and this causes
people to continue to avoid andminimize their experiences and
if we do this, we cannot heal.
(22:10):
So really important tounderstand that.
Understand that your parentshave trauma too, and it was
handed down from their parentsand their parents and their
parents.
But you are breaking the cycle.
Being being here right now andtaking the actions to heal your
inner child, listening to thispodcast episode is helping you
(22:34):
begin to break those cycles anddoing the freaking healing work,
right, so just wanted to putthat out there.
So, yeah, inner child healingis all about, uh, reparenting
yourself.
That's what it really is.
So, really giving yourself whatyou didn't get, okay, learning
(22:55):
how to create safety emotional,physical and mental safety,
looking or learning how to lookinside for everything that you
need instead of on the outsidefor yourself.
I know about you, but I used toalways ask for other people's
opinions, like, well, what doyou think of this and well, I
(23:17):
don't know, what do you think ofthis?
And well, I don't know, what doyou think of that?
Like you know, looking forpeople to tell us that we're
beautiful instead of tellingourselves that we're beautiful.
Like seeking love outside of uswhen we need to find that first
within us, seeking belonginginstead of abandonment, you know
, instead of abandoningourselves.
(23:39):
So, giving yourself what youneeded that you didn't get.
So that could look likevisualizing, doing a meditation
of an inner child within you,whatever age comes up for you.
You might even have like aprominent memory when you do
this, where you can think ofexactly, maybe, what was going
(24:02):
on and begin to tap into thatand then hold her hands, the
adult version of you holding herhands, giving her a hug, or you
know, this could look differentfor anybody Maybe you're just
sitting there, maybe she's onyour lap, or maybe you're
holding her uh, yourself in yourarms as a baby and cradling her
.
Okay, so, seeing that innerchild and then beginning to
(24:25):
reparent her and you being theparent for her, giving her the
love and attention that shenever needed, teaching her how
to emotionally regulate,creating that safety, creating
the words.
What words?
What does she need to hear fromyou in order for her to feel
(24:48):
seen, heard, understood, lovedand belonged and cared for?
So that is what inner childhealing is all about.
It's about reparenting you,okay.
So there are four pillars aswell to reparenting.
So the first one is aboutloving discipline.
(25:11):
So, as children, many of uswere not taught the simple,
helpful, healthy habits andrituals, okay, and so when we
can begin to cultivate lovingdiscipline by doing things like
keeping small promises toourselves, having a daily
(25:35):
routine, saying no more often,setting boundaries, giving
yourself alone time, reallycommunicating and stating our
needs, especially with ourspouses, this is how we
cultivate loving discipline.
This is how we cultivate thatfirst pillar of reparenting,
(25:56):
okay, loving discipline.
The second pillar I want toshare is self-care and, by the
way, I really wish I cannotremember where I found these
four pillars.
I think it was in a book.
I wrote this years ago and Ipulled up these notes.
So please know that don't quoteme on all of this, but these
(26:21):
four pillars are from a resourcethat I cannot remember
Anonymous.
Okay, all right.
So number two pillar isself-care.
Self-care, um, again, aschildren, many of us were not
taught the value of sleep,movement, exercise, resting,
(26:42):
nutrients, connection to nature.
We can cultivate that, though,through self-care, by going to
bed earlier, eating at home,doing maybe five minute
meditations, or moving your bodyfor five minutes, getting
outside, going for a walk,journaling, nature, sun,
(27:06):
connection with others out thereokay.
Spending time with friends,going out to eat, doing some fun
things, laughing okay.
So self-care is a huge pillarto reparenting yourself, doing
the things that maybe youweren't able to do as a child.
Do those now.
How do you need to learn how toemotionally regulate?
(27:27):
Okay, actually, that's thefourth pillar, emotional
regulation.
So we'll just go into that onenext and then I'll share the
other one.
Um, um, so emotional regulation.
Many of us were not actuallytaught the value or the practice
of having emotional awareness.
(27:47):
So when we can begincultivating that regulation by
observing feelings in the body,for example, can we begin to
regulate?
Okay, breath work using yourbreath.
Okay, you don't have to sign upfor a breath work class.
You could simply do 10 long,deep breaths to regulate your
(28:14):
emotions.
There's hot and cold therapy,awareness of your nervous system
.
Uh, causes, without thejudgment.
A lot of people that get intothis work, um, and emotional
regulation, are so ashamed orafraid, or hate these, um, the
shame that we're holding onto,or the the fear that we're
(28:37):
holding on to, but the thing islike, that's the human
experience.
So, you know, looking at thetension patterns without
judgment, without fear,emotional regulation right, it's
all about nervous systemregulation it's all about, you
know, spinal energetics is allabout regulating the nervous
(28:59):
system.
That's what it is.
A lot of clients, especiallytheir first few sessions with me
, I will actually yawn quite abit and that's actually a sign
of a dysregulated nervous system.
That's the clear that I haveassociated when working on my
clients, and it's been trueevery time.
Or I've had clients who I'vebeen working with for a while
(29:20):
they go through this lifeexperience that was turmoil, and
then they come back for asession and we have to get them
regulated again.
But then they have the toolsand the resources, the
remembrance within and how tolet those pains or tension
patterns go.
Okay, so it gets easier.
It gets easier as you go, um,so, anyways, that's how you can
(29:43):
learn how to regulate youremotions.
Obviously, pets probably myfavorite way.
I've got two dogs, the bestsnuggle buddies ever.
They're like oh, I fucking lovethat.
So, yes, pets, yes, pets areawesome.
I mean, there's so many ways toregulate your emotions, so just
take some time.
(30:03):
Hey, petu, ooh, bless me,excuse me.
So take some time to reflect onwhat was just discussed here.
What unresolved inner childwounds do you have?
Um, so the fourth pillar I wantto talk about before ending this
(30:26):
episode is joy.
Um, this is really important tohow you can reparent yourself.
Okay, um, as kids, many of usweren't taught the value of joy
and spontaneity, imagination,creativity, play, pure presence.
(30:47):
A lot of us weren't taught howto really tap into this, and it
doesn't surprise me when I seeclients on my table begin to
express suppressed joy andhappiness and bliss, because
that is part of the humanexperience, actually like, why
(31:08):
we're here is to create deeperdepths of these higher
vibrations like joy and love andhappiness.
And so we were not taught thevalue of how to really feel that
, really feel that and bepresent in our bodies, and we
(31:29):
can do that through things likedancing, singing, doing things
on the whim, creating a newhobby, music music is a big one.
Complimenting strangers on thestreet, connecting with your
(31:49):
friends.
When's the last time you trulyfelt joy?
I had this conversation withsomeone the other day where they
stopped and it was like thelongest pause ever.
They're like holy shit, likeit's been years, years, like,
like when is the last time youtruly have felt joy?
(32:14):
Okay, so important.
So what unresolved inner childwounds do you have?
What evidence do you have tosupport that?
What healing can you do to helpthat?
Can you do to help that,whether that's breath work,
spinal energetics, um, yoga,therapy, emdr, I mean, there's
(32:38):
so many things you could do, but, if I recommend anything, do
anything that involves the bodyup and not a head down approach,
uh, so that you can the, thebody can also heal what it has
been patterned to do.
Okay, so an exercise, someexercises you can do, um, to
(32:58):
kind of finalize this, this uhtopic here today and leave you
with some tangible action steps.
Um, I want to give you three,three things that you can do.
These have been things thathave had a profound effect not
only on my clients but myself aswell, and I hope that they help
you.
They definitely will if youtake time for this, but the
(33:20):
first and foremost one iswriting a letter to your inner
child.
The second one is to find aphoto of yourself, maybe between
the ages of like three andseven.
And as you're looking at thisphoto and you can leave this
(33:46):
photo at your desk as ascreensaver on your phone, maybe
on your mirror, someplace whereyou see it every day and I want
you to ask yourself what wouldI like to tell my younger self
and what does my younger selfneed to know or hear, but was
(34:08):
never told?
What does my younger self needto know or hear but was never
told?
And if I could go back in timeand offer love and support, what
would I say?
Journal on this, if you feelcalled to, or maybe speak it
privately or out loud.
(34:29):
As you look at this photo anddo this, do this exercise until
it feels like it clicks, untilit feels like things begin to
change or shift or you don'tfeel an attachment to the wound
anymore.
Okay, um, this is kind of this.
One kind of ties into the firstone, but you can also journal
(34:52):
out by starting with dear littlewounded, amanda, dear little
wounded, insert your name dearlittle wounded, jessica, amy,
(35:20):
john, whatever your name is.
Speak to her or him.
Begin that letter with dearlittle wounded and see where
that takes you.
Write a letter to that littleinner child and you know what.
You know what.
I let me see if I can do this.
You know what I'm going to dothis.
I was debating if I should, butit came through for you, for me
(35:43):
to share with you all today.
But I have a healing audio.
That's an inner child healingand I will link that below so
you have a meditation that youcan do as well.
That's the third exercise thatI want you to take with you If
you feel called to do it.
It's super powerful.
First time I did inner childwork, I did cry like a baby, but
(36:04):
that's okay.
That's what my little girlneeded.
She needed to express sadness.
It's a beautiful journey.
It's not a one-time thing.
If you think about you know howlong your childhood was.
There's probably layers there.
So be patient as you do thisbut, more importantly, give
(36:25):
yourself that love and grace andcompassion as you work through
this.
Hold that picture of youyounger, near and close as you
navigate this, and so much loveto you and I love you so much.
Have a beautiful day.
Thank you so much for listeningto this podcast episode.
Really quick.
I wanted to share a couple newofferings.
(36:48):
If you haven't heard yet, wehave a couples spinal energetic
session now available, where youcan bring your friend, your
spouse, to experience spinalenergetics together and create a
deeper bond with each otherthrough personalized attention.
That's going to help fosterharmony and deeply strengthen
(37:08):
your relationship.
I know, with my husband, sincedoing healing work together, we
have never been stronger and 14years strong, and we are feeling
like we're just getting started, um, and it has been the best
thing we have ever done.
The other offer I'm offeringnow is online group spinal
energetics with breath work.
Now, if you have a session, uh,that you want to do, but you
(37:32):
want to have your team there,your clients there, your friends
or your family, this is theoffer for you.
Maximum of six people.
However, if you have morepeople than that, just let me
know and I will curate a betteroffer.
That's custom to whatever it isthat you're looking for.
So, when we have a group ofpeople coming together, it
creates a lot of energy.
(37:53):
If you've ever done a grouphealing session, you'll know
what I mean and it makes for anincredibly powerful healing
experience.
So I'm going to be there toorchestrate the energy of the
room and provide a uniqueexperience for the collective
that's going to create a deeperand stronger bond with one
another.
So both of those options aregoing to be below to book one of
(38:15):
these sessions, or if you justwant to come back or book your
first session with me for spinalenergetics coaching, breath
work.
Those offers will be listedbelow as well.
Thank you so much for listeningagain and we'll see you on the
next one.
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