Empowering BBW Cam Girls with Platinum Puzzy

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Or you want to rebrand yourself,Come up with a name that is so
clever and is such an attention grabber that it almost doesn't
even matter what you look like because the name in itself is a
Gamestopper. What'd you say about
Thundercats? I love Thundercats.

(00:20):
So I'm from Gen. X and I'm a huge Thundercats
fan. And so when I say CEO of
irbbw.com, I am saying it like Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats.
Oh. Yeah, I love me some lion.
O Come on man. Yes.

(00:41):
And Pantra. Oh my gosh.
Who Who was your favorite? Pantra I love that, like
dominant, aggressive, feminine energy, and I felt like that's
what Pantra brought to the show.Yeah, yeah.
Well, see, I might be a little bitch because I love Snarf while
I was a kid, so maybe that's why.
But I love Snarf. Like Snarf.

(01:01):
Snarf. Yeah, yeah.
Hi, Hello. How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
Fantastic. Couldn't be better.
So Carrie platinum pussy Anthonyfrom I no from iheartbbw.com.

(01:25):
Yes. Right.
So I have to ask because you've been in the game for 20 years,
right? I have 21 this year.
Celebrate 21 years, 2 decades plus.
I got to do math and that's whatlike 2004.
Yeah, to the around, it's the end of 2004 going into 2005.
So before the Internet was really the Internet, it was

(01:49):
still old school forums and message boards and analog and
AOL. Like I started off of those
disks where it said 30 days freeand you had to like plug it into
your phone and you logged on andit went connecting, you know,

(02:09):
like the whole you had to wait. You had to just to log on dial
up. I had dial up I mean.
That's before. Broadband even was existed.
Holy shit, so you when you started, you started during the
dial up era. During the dial up era, in fact,
I'll take you back so far, I hadBellsouth dial up connection and

(02:33):
when broadband came out, I was one of the first people in my
city, in my neighborhood to get the broadband.
And it wasn't called broadband. It was called, maybe it was
called broadband, but I want to say it was called something else
like but anyways, it doesn't matter.
It was when dial up upgraded, I was one of the very first people

(02:53):
because I had to my my job and my income depended on it.
So, so wait a minute, So what? So during the dial up era, what
were you doing? So to give you a little bit of
context, I worked at a bill collector's office.
I had been there for several years.

(03:14):
I was really, really good at my job, almost too good.
And you know, anybody that's worked in corporate environment
understands competitive coworkers and people feeling
threatened when you're really good at what you do.
And they always take it personal.
And for me, it was never personal.

(03:34):
It's, it was personal for me in,in the sense that like, I just
wanted to be the best at what I was good at, right?
And I wanted to be good at my job because I felt like that's
how you grow in a company. You want to be the best that you
can be. Unfortunately for people who are
accustomed to being paid to do half, half work and are OK with
going up the the, the the chain of command and getting better

(03:57):
jobs but not doing better jobs, it's very threatening to them.
When a person like myself who's highly ambitious and takes,
wants to take pride in my work, they see me as a threat.
And it's like, I'm not even looking at your job.
I can't care less about your job.
I just want to make sure I'm doing my job really good so that
I can continue to have a job. I understand that, you know, job

(04:19):
security is not guaranteed. So early on I realized that, you
know, maybe the workforce wasn'tfor me.
I ended up getting into a situation where my health was
really, really on the line and alot of it had to do with my
workplace. Later I would find that out, but

(04:39):
during the time I had a a serious health scare and in fact
I was at work when I passed out and the HR who I had friends
that I worked with that were like, hey, let me take her to
the emergency room and I'll I'llstay with her till her family
gets there. They refuse.
They were like, Nope, you got tostay on the phones.
HR took me to the hospital, dropped me off in the ER while

(05:03):
I'm unconscious, mind you and left me in a wheelchair.
So I knew in that moment it was,you know, the final countdown.
I didn't want to work for a company that literally left me
at the hospital to potentially die.
Luckily for me, I didn't. But it was a scary time.
And it just really helped me realize that this place didn't

(05:24):
give a shit about me. So in the midst of all of this
health stuff that the doctor says you have, I ended up going
through an emergency surgery andI had to take 60 with six to
eight weeks off unpaid. And when you are working
paycheck to paycheck and your bills can't be put on hold for 6
to 8 weeks and you can't just stop and pick up in 6 to 8 weeks

(05:45):
and go, OK, well, now I can pay my rent, now I can pay my
electric bill. I had to do something.
And so I felt like since I had all this downtime, even though I
couldn't do anything physically,I'm like, there's got to be
something. So I go online, I'm perusing the
Internet and I see these work from home phone jobs and I'm
like, oh, I can do that. That's easy, right?
So Boo Boo Boo, I'm applying forall these jobs and this lady

(06:08):
hits me back immediately and I'mlike Oh yes, yes, we're working.
We got something here. She calls me.
Now mind you, the entire conversation is about phone
etiquette, hours, how to log in,yadda yadda yadda.
At no point does she tell me it's phone sex.
But at the end of the call, she finally admits to me.

(06:29):
Well, I see that you're interested, but here's the
kicker, it's a phone sex job. By this time I'm like fuck it, I
got it, it's mine. And to, you know, also add I had
been dating a lot of military men.
I had a little infatuation for men in uniform.
And so I was already doing phonesex for free anyways with these
boneheads that would call me from around the world and I

(06:51):
would be like oh this is fun. So finally I found something
that I'm good at and something that's going to pay me one at
home with the intention that I'mgoing to go back to my job
eventually. But let's see how this works to
make a Long story short and keepit, you know, fun and
entertaining. I was really good at my job.

(07:12):
However, they don't tell you that your your picture on the
Internet is not you, which it never occurred to me who it was.
I just assumed it was me. But I never sent them pictures.
I never sent them pictures. Well, I get a phone call and
this guy says, oh, tell me what you look like.
And I'm like, well, I'm about 240 lbs five six.

(07:35):
And he's like click and instantly I'm like, oh shit, did
I say something wrong? Like what the hell?
So I called the lady that's managing me and I'm like,
Houston, we have a problem. And she's like, what?
And so I explain to her what happened and she says, Oh yes,
it's a just random pictures thatwe get from, you know, kind of
like stock photos before stock photos were stock photos.

(07:57):
And I'm like, that's not going to work.
I'm not a good liar. That's not going to work for me.
I'm not going to be able to be sexy and in the moment and think
of what my pretend character looks like.
So platinum Pussy was born because somebody had to come in
and take some hot sexy photos for the Internet.
And once I realized that there was a niche and a desire for

(08:21):
plus size women and that there were men out there that were
seeking women that look like me,Platinum Pussy became infamous.
So phone sex turned into doing pictures turned into doing
movies. I was more of a home movie

(08:41):
amateur person. The the big productions don't
really work for me 'cause I'm just not a good actress on film
and I don't like someone tellingme what to do intimately.
I don't care. I don't know if I would do good
on a regular actor set either, but nonetheless I am.
So I perused through the adult entertainment sector for a few

(09:02):
years and made a name for myself.
And then I decided that it wasn't for me and I'd rather
help other people build their brands and gain the tools, the
knowledge, the resources and theskills that they need to be
entrepreneurs in a very sensitive, intimate environment.

(09:22):
IEI Heart, bbw.com and I am now the CEO.
All right, so that makes sense. You really are the OG of BBW
porn. I am, I am one of the original,
one of the original. Now a lot of people don't really

(09:43):
consider me like part of the OG scene in the sense that I never
went on to do like 100 DVD's. But that was by choice, not by,
you know what I mean? Like I, I chose not to do the,
the DVD scene. I chose not to work in an
environment that I didn't feel was complimentary to who I

(10:03):
really AM. And so while other people can
say what they feel like the the definition of what a porn star
is or what the definition of an OG porn star is, I've done the
work, I've put in the hours, I've perused through
environments where I very much earned my title.

(10:24):
So fight me if you want to. I.
Feel about it like, you know, my, my, my history precedes
itself. So it's like, and you could say
what you want to say. I also came from a different
era. You know, now you book a scene
by going to Twitter or, you know, just happen to be on
someone's only fans. And back then you had to

(10:44):
actually like know people. They had to know who you were.
It wasn't people didn't know whoyou were unless someone told
them because the likeliness thatthey would find you was either
you had to find them or they hadto somehow find you.
It wasn't let's go to Twitter and oh, this is a really nice
looking new new model. Let me hit her up.
It didn't work that way. So you had to either know

(11:05):
someone in the industry and theywould say, hey, I've got this
new model. You should shoot with her, which
is how I started. And or, you know, you had to
seek out these companies and say, hey, I would really like to
shoot with your company. And, you know, it was a much
different environment back then,a lot less cutthroat.
I'll say that. Right.

(11:28):
But yeah, like cuz back then, I mean, there's always been, you
know, the different categories of porn and everything.
But as far as like the Internet and everything, like cuz I'm
interested in like the history of everything and especially
like the online stuff. I remember back in like that era
of like 2000, I don't know 25, whatever it is, there was like

(11:50):
all those do you remember like the Lightspeed girls?
Yes, like the college girls, like all of that stuff like the
teens and that kind of shit. I don't remember like was there
like Internet? I guess there was Internet wise
like the, you know, BBW and likedifferent like mature and.
It. Wasn't.
No, we were, we existed, but we existed in the crevices and

(12:15):
underneath rocks and we were part of like almost like a
secret society per SE. Because at that time you also
have to think about the social climate in terms of people were
not outright saying I'm gay. I'm not outright saying that I
like trans or I'm not. A lot of, you know, people

(12:36):
weren't out there saying that I like fat girls.
Like that just wasn't the climate back then.
Back then everybody was closetedeven just in kink world.
No one was out there being like,yeah, I'm a dominatrix or yeah,
I like to get my butt beat. Like it just was a much
different environment. So to understand the Internet,
you have to understand the social climate and realizing
that this is before the big awakening happening happened

(12:59):
where people started becoming more size accepting and body
positive. And you know, before trans was
even a big thing and it was acceptable and had its own, you
know, category and things of that nature.
I think although currently I feel like a lot of things have
gotten out of control, the fact that we do have a plus size

(13:24):
community within the adult entertainment industry and the
world, not just, you know, forget the adult entertainment
industry. That's a small portion in
comparison to being in a world where more people are saying,
you know, yes, I am plus size. I am 200 plus pounds, but that
doesn't mean I can't be beautiful.
That doesn't mean that I can't be successful.

(13:44):
That doesn't mean that I can't be confident.
And you know, the same thing with maturity.
It's, and that's where I'm at. I'm 50 years old and I'm plus
size. So, you know, I, I feel like
it's a great time to really advocate for groups of people
that have often been overlooked or ignored for one reason or

(14:07):
another because there's a large group of others out there that
just can't accept that, you know, just because I'm plus
sized doesn't mean I'm unhealthy.
It doesn't. I'm not contagious.
I'm not giving, you know, I wishthat I could give pounds away
every time I went out. You know what I'm saying?
I'd be like 20 lbs. Right.
Yeah. Oh, you're a real hater.
I'm giving you 50 lbs. Like if that was going to be, if

(14:29):
I could be a hero, a superhero, that's what I would do.
I would make fat phobic people fat.
I would be like, oh, £150 for you bro.
Like that would be my superpowers just to be like
chain 10 lbs for you, only 10 Cuz you seem like you might, you
might be changeable, but you know what I mean?
Like, but I would want to be able to do that for more than

(14:50):
just like wait, I would want to do it for like racism and ageism
and transphobic people and all the, all the phobes out there.
I would just want to be in one of those situations where it's
like, oh, you're a Karen, You know what I mean?
Like. Right.
In fact, I'm working with my videographer.

(15:10):
We're working on a short film that that I have.
I'm I'm trying to come up with the design for my superhero
costume, but we're going to go out in public and I'm going to
literally be doing things that they don't know what I'm doing.
But that's what I'm doing is like, oh, you look like a Karen
or you're in the middle of a Karen episode and I'm going to
be like cha ching, you know, sound effects and all that

(15:31):
stuff. And then it's like turn them
into a non caring person. So right.
Yeah, that sounds fun. Right.
I want to be like Santa Claus though, where I could just be
all over the world at one time. There's just so many hater
people out there. Man, I don't know.
You're, you're trying to change the world.
That that's come on, that's, that's tough, that's impossible.

(15:54):
Isn't what isn't that what we all want though?
Don't we all want to live in a better world where you can
simply exist and it not be a reason for confrontation to just
for one? I think we live in a country
that has political like identitypolitics.
What? Since when does who people marry

(16:14):
or who they're having intimate relations with or raising
children? Like it just, it's like, why are
we governing things that are notmeant?
Like no one's committing a crime, You know what I mean?
Like who gets heard from that? Yeah, nobody.
Nobody who it's. Like.
Right, Yeah, I, I don't, I don'tunderstand it.

(16:36):
I never have. I never will.
But I used to get all psychotic with that shit too.
Like I'd see shit on the news. I'd be like, motherfucker, like
God damn it, that shit pisses meoff.
I want to fucking do something, but at some point I just, it's
like there's just so many like, you know, stupid people out
there and people that just like that.

(16:57):
You can't change people's minds anymore.
There's no changing people's minds, especially with social
media and everything, because they have other people that, you
know, think the same way. And so they have those, you know
what I mean? Like they.
Yeah, there's. There's other idiots out there
that cosign the, the this, this,the stupidity.
And for me, I understand where you're coming from, but I feel

(17:20):
like if we don't fight and we let them win, then, you know, is
that the existence, that or the legacy that you want to leave
for your, your family or if you don't have kids or if you're not
trying to have kids, like do youwant to leave that legacy for
the for the future? It's like, I'd rather, I mean,
I'm not fighting like when it comes to social media, I'm not

(17:41):
the online fighter because I feel like I'm just screaming
into the void. And aside from that, my social
media is only for business purposes.
And my platinum Pussy persona has nothing to do with politics
except for when I run for president.
And that's because I have a sitecalled pussyforpresident.com,
but that's a whole another story.
I'm still looking that up and. It's, I don't even know if I

(18:03):
still have it. I, I gave it up when, you know,
somebody won twice and wait a minute, I don't know if I'm not
going to show you, but yeah, I just and I don't talk about
politics. I don't like to get into it
because everyone's entitled to their opinion, But for me, I
just feel like we are living in times where our human rights are

(18:23):
under attack and our basic humanrights are are constantly being
trampled on. And while we're fighting each
other for simple things like standing in line at the grocery
store and feeling the need to express our opinion about, you
know, racial issues or calling me fat, I'm like, dude, we have

(18:45):
bigger problems out there. My weight should not be any of
your business. And I have a shirt that says I
get paid by the pound. And that's my motto.
Like, you can talk shit all day.I'm cool with what I what I look
like and how much I weigh. But I get paid by the pound,
baby. What do you get paid for?
I'll wait. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

(19:08):
Because I, I'm oblivious to everything.
I, I don't fucking pay attentionto a lot of things.
But like what you just said, like that happens to you?
Oh, absolutely. But the problem now is that
people get offended by so many things that I don't even know
what they're offended by. When they start acting shitty to
me, I just always assume becauseI've been fat my whole life.

(19:30):
I just always assume, that's why.
But it could be a number of things.
Like I my pure existence in thisworld is offensive to a lot of
people. So now I have to kind of go
through the rolodex of what could this person like unless
they specify. And people are like secret
haters now. They don't say what it is
outright. Some do.

(19:51):
And when I've had people that are like that bold, it's
usually, oh, how could how couldyou be so confident and be that
size? And it's like, oh, how could you
be? Oh, you're ugly and you're
regimental. Like that kind of goes hand in
hand. I could see why you yeah, I get
it. I get it.

(20:11):
And I'm like, what? What gave you the like?
How could you be so confident toeven let that come out your
mouth? Like you don't know and and
beyond that, you just don't knowwhere people are in their mental
health journey. So while I try to lead by, you
know, the whole, I'm not trying to get myself in any trouble or

(20:32):
any altercations. I mean, you just never know.
Like you could say that to somebody and lose your life
behind that. Was it worth it?
You know, it's like, come on. I'm not saying I'm I'm
dangerous. I'm just saying like the world,
I you just never people go on rages just from driving.
People have lost their lives from road rage.

(20:52):
Why would you put yourself in a situation?
What are you going to gain from that conversation or that
confrontation? I mean, seriously, it's like you
really need to think about the world that you live in for you
to feel comfortable for. It's like me going to someone
and saying, you know, I, I don'teven know because I don't think
like that. I think I'm just happy to be
alive. I'm happy.

(21:13):
I'm happy I made it another day and that's, you know, my
gratitude. Right.
I, I just don't, I, I, I, I can't understand that mentality
though. Like, why?
Like, why? Like what?
What's the big deal that someoneneeds to say something like that
to you? Who are you?

(21:35):
Who are you to judge? I'm sure if I went and looked at
your social media. This is why I love TikTok.
If you go on TikTok and somebody.
TikTok. I love TikTok.
You know why TikTok will find you?
They will find the Cairns of theInternet, the the keyboard
warriors that get behind a comment and they say something

(21:57):
and they'll be like, let's find,you know, Jane Doe 1234 who said
this. And then they go and they find
their LinkedIn where they work their Facebook and they
literally set out to destroy them.
And it's like, although I feel that's extreme, it's very
extreme. But we live in cancel culture.
So you got to know, you know, pick your battles is basically

(22:18):
where that comes from. So if you put yourself in a
position to make a comment and you know it's going to cause
problems, then you shouldn't be surprised when the outcome is
that they came for you because you asked, you asked them to.
You know, it's like one of thosethings when you call 911,
someone's going to answer someone, someone is on the line

(22:41):
waiting for you to call. So you know, that's the times
that we live in. So I love TikTok because while
there's a lot of shenanigans andthings on there that I'm just
like, there are times where justice is served and people are
learning important lessons aboutjust because you think it

(23:01):
doesn't mean you should say it or type it.
And you should also be mindful of like, what do you benefit?
There are lots of things I wouldlove to say to people, but if I
feel like it's something that's going to be hurtful or it's
something that's going to cause more problems than we already
have and it's not really like something that I'm going to
stand on business about, then I just delete it and keep it

(23:23):
pushing. Like what?
What am I hoping to accomplish with this comment?
You know what I mean? Yeah, Oh, absolutely.
Yeah. See, that's why I, I, I can't
comprehend any of this because like, the only, like the only
people I fucking feel like I need to say something to or want
to say something to are assholes.
You know what I mean? Like, yeah.

(23:45):
That's what. I mean, like other than that,
like someone that I'm, you know,that I'm not attracted to, I
need to say something to that, like.
But how do you know? How do you know you're not
attracted to that person just because they're physical?
They're physical presentation may not be what you you've
normally liked. That person internally could be

(24:07):
more than what you like. You know what I mean?
You don't know. Absolutely, absolutely,
absolutely. But like on the.
Book by its cover. Oh, 100%, but on the physical
sense, like I've never had the urge to like, you know, fucking
tell like it. I I just.
Don't know you might meet somebody.
Let me tell you why I say this and I'm going to it goes back to
my name. One of the most like platinum

(24:29):
pussy was a double edged sword or is a double edged sword.
It's a double edged sword because when I came up with it,
which was genius marketing, it was just marketing genius, OK.
It's a name that stands out. What I really love about the way
that I did my name is that at that time everybody was putting

(24:51):
BBW with their name because theywanted, you know, BBW fans to
seek them out. And I thought about it and I
said, Nah, I don't want to do that.
And I'm glad that I didn't. And here's why.
By not putting BBW by my name. When you see that and you say,
Oh my gosh, who is this platinumpussy?
Like she got to be a banger. Then you come to me and you're

(25:11):
like, well, I don't know. There were people that were
like, I'm not into BBWS, but I really like what you represent.
I really like, you know, the kind of work that you put out or
I really like many, many fans have come and said that to me
like I'm not typically a big girl lover, but because your
personality is so inviting or your personality is this or

(25:33):
something about you attracted me.
Then it was the I looked past the physical part and it wasn't
about me liking you because you're a BBW was me liking you
because I like you. And so that was the genius
behind my name. The ingenious or the the lack of
genius of intelligence behind myname is that when social media

(25:54):
would come out, my name is offensive everywhere.
So platinum pussy is not allowedto exist in most of the in most
safer workspaces. So but who who knew that social
media was coming at the at the beginning of my career?
And to tell you a little bit about how I got my name because

(26:15):
it is a common question. Before I got into the adult
industry, I had a bunch of friends that were men.
And a lot of men have this conversation.
If you were ever to be a porn star, what would be your porn
star name? And of course, the comment of
like, you take your first dog's name or your first animal and
you're the street that you livedon.

(26:37):
Yeah, Yeah. And that would be your name.
And I was like, that's corny. That's not a name.
That's that's, you know, like. That's like the Chinese.
The thing that she used to do, the what do they call that?
The Chinese dice or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I am, you know Bunny, what was the street that I lived on
or Ontario, Bunny Ontario. That doesn't sound good.

(26:59):
So I was like Nah, y'all got to be more creative.
That's a cop out. So I basically in this
conversation was challenging everyone to come up with
something better, something thatmore was more representative of
their personality. So as we're having this
conversation, I'm joking with this one friend of mine and he's
he always has great like ideas for commercials and we used to

(27:22):
make jingles together and like, he's a hoot, right?
So I'm like, dude, what would myporn name be if I was in porn?
Now, mind you, I've never watched porn at this point.
I've never ever thought that I would ever be in porn.
So this conversation is really funny now looking back, but at
the time it's just a conversation, like we're just
joking about it. About how old were you at this

(27:44):
point? I'm like 21.
I didn't get into porn till I was 30.
OK, so I'm like 2122. You know, these are these are
conversations you have drinking,right?
And I'm like, what would my namebe?
I can't think of anything for myself because you know, I'm
just like, I don't know, never thought about it.
And he's like platinum pussy. And I'm like, what, what does

(28:10):
that mean? He's like, that means you have
the best coochie ever. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a
good one. And it's got the double PS Oh,
yeah, I like that. So one day I'm on AOL chat rooms
again. Porn isn't even on my mind.
It's not in my my peripheral purview.
Nothing. I'm on AOL chat rooms.

(28:32):
And I was in this one chat room where the girl, there was a
couple of girls that were real popular for what?
I don't know, but I didn't care.That's not why I was in there.
I just enjoyed chatting with people from all over the world.
So I go in there and these girlswere getting mad because there
was a guy in there that was showing interest towards me and
they were like, oh, she's fat, why do you like her?

(28:53):
And he's like, oh, she's just really cool.
She always comes in here, she's nice to everyone, she's funny.
She talks about shit more than, you know, typical girl stuff.
Because I'm a tomboy. So that's been a typical reason
why I have more male friends than female because girls always
see that as I'm trying to like butter up to the boys and I'm
like, no, I just really, I really like cars.

(29:14):
I really like other things that are more less girly and more
masculine. But anyways, I digress.
We're in the chat room. The guy is like in the public
chat telling me, you know, everybody how he's thinks I'm
attractive. And you know, of course the
girls are like why? You know, just it just becomes
very volatile. So I'm like, I leave and I'm
like I had made a screen name that had platinum pussy in it.

(29:38):
I said I'm going to come back asplatinum pussy.
Nobody knows it's me. So I get to be Incognito.
So I leave and I come back as this platinum pussy person.
And the pictures that I have area little bit more provocative
than the ones on my regular profile, but you can't see my
face so you wouldn't know that it was me.
Let me tell you when I stopped the the chat completely and all

(30:00):
the guys were like who is this? And I was just being totally
like, I took the conversation from whatever they were talking
about to we need to know who this platinum girl is.
And I stole the attention of allthe guys.
When I had to come up with my name for the industry.
I was like, that's the name because it stopped the entire

(30:23):
chat and the dudes went crazy. They didn't care who I was.
I could have been £1,000,000. The name made them so like
Squirrel that whatever the fightwas before didn't even exist
anymore. And when I saw how powerful that
was, I was like, yeah, that's the name.

(30:45):
So that's how Platinum Pussy came about.
That's fucking. Oh my God, Yeah.
That's fucking brilliant, man. Yeah.
That's like just a perfect fucking name.
It's like, you know, it's dirty,but it's, you know, it's like,
yeah. Well, I did it with Z.
Yeah, pussy. I did it with Z DS and a lot of
people have speculated and to behonest with you, it was during

(31:08):
the time that search engines were coming out and I knew that
if you put in the two s s, you were going to find everything
but me. So I was like, I have to find a
way to make myself different andstand out.
So I added the ZS and this is during the time where Snoop Dogg
was like fish is all, you know, like.
So I was like, yeah, we're goingto take.
Those those s s out and replace them with ZS.

(31:29):
And then one of my friends came up with this tagline that says
the pussy's so good to put you to sleep.
That's why you got Z's in your name.
And I'm like, Oh yes, genius. So.
Yeah, yeah, I fucking love that man.
So let me tell you what this what this.
So for people that are watching,if you are in the business,
whether you're a Cam girl or yougot your OF page or whatever it

(31:53):
is that you have the point of this conversation is if you are
branding yourself or getting started or you want to rebrand
yourself, come up with a name that is so clever and is such an
attention grabber that it almostdoesn't even matter what you
look like because the name in itself is a gamestopper.

(32:14):
It's such an intricate part of your brand and people don't
realize that when they're comingup with their names.
And it's like, you know, I saw someone that was talking about
their name has something to do with Lindsay Lohan, but it's
like something hand like hand. And that's their brand is like
they're like big on HJS. And are we allowed to say the

(32:37):
word? Yeah, hand jobs.
What? Yeah hand jobs, OK, I'm used to
podcast, you know you have to dumb everything down and you
can't say everything out right but yeah, so her.
Handy Manny. Handy Manny niche is hand job
and I was like, Yo, that's brilliant.

(32:58):
That's so brilliant. So that's that's the the advice
that I have for people out thereis when you're coming up with
your name or if you're not really happy with your name,
rebrand. Think of something catchy.
Think of something that's going to capture attention and, you
know, rebrand. Do it.
So yeah, go check out, see if Handy Mandy's available.

(33:22):
That's. Great, that's right.
Handy Mandy. Yeah, I love that.
I you know, that's really like when I'm perusing through
people's social media. Those are the things that
capture my attention are like I saw the other day, Josefina
Baker and I was like Josefina I because I love stuff with ho in

(33:44):
it. I call myself now the midlife
mentor and it's mentor with a WHORE.
I'm the midlife mentor so. Nice.
Yeah, Fucking yeah, definitely. Branding is so fucking
important. And plus it could be fun, you

(34:04):
know, depending on what you comeup with and shit.
And you can, you know, like create off of that, you know?
That's what I'm good at. I'm great at marketing.
That's that's I would if I had to say, you know, a lot of
people have asked me like, what would be the key to your success
and like the longevity of your career?

(34:25):
And I would I would definitely say that the ability to recreate
myself or not being afraid to abandon the things that don't
work for me and take on new things to see if those stick.
One of the things I will say is that I don't normally Cam under
platinum pussy. And the reason for that is

(34:46):
because the guys that come and see me usually want to talk
about the time that I was that Iwas shooting porn.
And because when I'm live on cams, you know, I'm not there to
chat about my career like unlessthey're spending money and
typically they're not. They just are asking questions
because they're like, oh, she's live.
My most successful Cam personality that I created is

(35:08):
mega MILF and mega MILF is just the housewife next door who
happened to find Chatterbait on her one of her computers and how
it got there. Oh my gosh, it had to be the the
nanny. And I'm just a Random House
housewife that got curious and jumped on Chatterbait and nobody
knows. And I'm out here, you know, been

(35:33):
I'm married to my my high schoolsweetheart and we've got, you
know, 50 kids, not really. But you know, we've got a house
full of kids and I'm just the housewife that cooks and cleans
and runs the family business. And my husband doesn't spend a
lot of time with me because he'sin his man cave playing Call of
Duty. And I've got these kids running
around and I get on Chatterbait.I sneak on Chatterbait because I

(35:56):
need some, some MILF time. I need some, hold on.
I need some some, you know, likegrown woman time and the guys
and I did it just because I was getting on Cam is and I was
seeing like no results. And I'm like, how can I be an
OG, a legend, a trailblazer and I get on Cam and I'm not

(36:17):
successful. And it's because, first of all,
I wasn't really on Cam consistently, but beyond that,
the only thing people were interested in talking about was
my porn career, 'cause that was my name.
And it's like, OK, well one day I got creative and decided to be
a nobody. And it was the best thing I ever
did. I made more money camming as a
nobody than I ever did as plotting a pussy.
So, you know, let that be a lesson to putting a little like

(36:42):
as much as branding is important, so is coming up with
the storyline and having, you know, the presentation.
And the thing that made mega MILF so popular was that I would
get on Cam and literally my husband would be next to me,
which obviously he knew, he knewhe married Platinum, but I would
be like, SH don't tip, you're good.

(37:02):
Oh, and I'd have the lush insideand I would be like, Oh, you're
going to give me. Cards.
And he'd be like, so he knew thehe knew the game.
And the game would be like, he'dbe like, what are you doing?
What's wrong? And I'd be like, I would be like
Cha Ching, you know, like every time the token noise would go
off, I'd be like, oh, I'm playing slot machines.
And he'd be like, why are you like acting like that?

(37:23):
And I'm like, oh, because I'm soexcited that I won.
And he'd be like, OK, now, mind you, he knows what's going on,
but he found it. He found it absolutely
fascinating that people were, like, getting into it and like,
they got to a point where they would spend so many tokens
because they were trying to get me to, you know, be caught.
And he would be there laughing his ass off like Oh my gosh I

(37:46):
can't believe this. Dude that sounds like so much
fucking fun. Until I got caught, then I was
like fuck but and I got stalked.That's really why I don't Cam
under that name anymore. It's because unfortunately.
Oh what a fucking downer. Well, it, it taps into another

(38:07):
subject that I think is really important for other performers
to, and not only just performers, but like the fans,
is that collaborating with otherperformers can be dangerous.
Oh, I've. Never heard that before.
I've never heard that before. Oh, wow, you heard that?
Yeah. I was going to say, damn, no, I

(38:29):
know. Yeah, So what happened was I met
a girl on a campsite and she wasvery popular.
Another BBW performer. Turns out she was about an hour
away from me. I live in Baltimore, she lives
in a bordering state, is what we'll say, 'cause I don't want
anybody to know who she is and send her any unnecessary

(38:50):
attention. And I just loved her Cam
personality. She was just real.
Very, very similar to mine, but she had a big following and she
had these people that were like really dedicated to her.
And I'm a person with like crazywork ethic and I can I respect
people that have that same like she got on Cam the same time

(39:12):
everyday and she Cam for hours and I just was like, Oh my gosh,
this is I admire her. So I went into her Cam room and
one thing I've experienced is very few people are are nice to
you when you go into the Cam room and they know you're a
performer. And I went in there and I
started tipping her and she was real cool about it.

(39:35):
And in fact, we just developed afriendship.
We started talking online, we started going on Cam together,
We started pitting our fans against each other.
We would do like tip wars and all kinds of stuff.
So it became not only lucrative,but you know, we developed this
friendship. And what I did not know is that
she participated in some things that I not only don't agree with

(40:00):
as a human being, but we're a complete conflict to me as a
person and definitely my online persona.
But I didn't know at the time what this was, and I didn't
realize my affiliation was goingto get me wrapped up in the
situation. So what happens is she decides,
hey, I'm coming to your house. We're going to get together

(40:22):
warning be very careful who you invite into your home.
I brought her to my house. We did some camming together.
We caught shot some content together and we had a blast.
Like her energy and like her as a person, we got along
wonderfully, which is not very common sometimes.

(40:42):
Like I have a very high energy, ambitious personality that
people are very intimidated by and they just automatically
think that I'm like, I don't know, I don't know why they do
that, but I digress. So she came a couple of times.
In fact, she brought her husbandand her husband got along with
my husband and like everything was good.

(41:04):
One day she shares with me that she sends fake videos to people
who like bestiality. So I find out that a good
portion of her fan base is in this community.
Now, I don't condone it, I don'twatch it.

(41:27):
I don't know anything about it aside from the fact that it's
highly illegal and it's very inhumane.
But this is a huge game changer for me.
I'm like, oh, but at the time I just was like, well, she's not
doing it, so who could it possibly hurt, right?
Yeah, but wait, wait, you said fake.
What? What does that mean?
So she would take stuff that wasalready on the Internet from

(41:50):
people that were posting it, andthen she would just send it to
these guys. So they're real, but not from
her. Correct.
She wasn't actually producing it, but she was making money
from other people's content, which in itself is wrong.
But, and I, and I, I really cameto that conclusion very early

(42:10):
and it did 'cause some issues with us.
But where it became problematic for me was that one of the fans
that she had sends me an e-mail and asked me to do a custom
video. And they're like, we want you to
do this. So it never occurred to me that
because she was participating inthis bullshit, that somebody was

(42:31):
going to just think that I was OK with it.
And I was, I didn't even answer.I didn't even respond to the
e-mail 'cause I was just, I had that like that Pearl clutch.
What, you want me to do what? Like hell no.
So I just was like, I'm going toignore that the e-mail exists
and keep going with my life. And we're just going to pretend

(42:52):
that never happened, you know, sweep it under the rug.
And I really didn't know how to respond to that.
And I was always told that if someone's stalking you, not to
even engage with them because they're just looking for your
attention. So I pass it by don't pay it any
attention, don't even think about it and again until I get
another e-mail about a week later and it's literally doxing

(43:13):
me. Legal name address like and
because I was camming under megaMILF they then bring up platinum
pussy. So now I'm really concerned
because now this like if it was just the Mega Mill thing, I
could shut that down and it would be whatever, right?
But they know about my other stuff too.
So I'm like, Oh my gosh, my career is over.

(43:36):
All because you went bang a dog.All because I wouldn't bang a
dog and do this custom video request.
So in the midst of this video, they tell me that if I don't
produce the content, they're going to find content of someone
who looks like me and put all myinformation on it and send it
anyways. So I can either do the content

(43:58):
or I can let and I'm like, why would I feel like I don't
understand? But whatever.
I just was like again, I'm not even going to pay this no mine.
But it did scare me because theyknow my address, they know my
name. Fuck yeah.
They're they're, you know, threatening to go to the police,
which I couldn't imagine what I would have done wrong.
But you know, we live in a time where all people do got to do is

(44:21):
call the police. And once you get wrapped up into
a case, whether you're innocent or guilty doesn't matter.
Like things just go left. So I'm petrified.
I am literally, I'm not a big crier normally, but I'm
literally crying because I'm like, my life literally is
exploding in front of my face. And I didn't put two and two

(44:44):
together at first. But eventually it was like it
was obvious. Like why else would these people
even know who I am? So it it's actually still
ongoing. This is since 2016, so it's
almost been 10 years. They come back about once a
year. And I mean, what I will say is

(45:05):
this, and the reason why I bringit up, the collaboration part,
you got to be careful. Know what kind of content these
people are doing. And if it's things that you
don't agree with, don't get involved because you will get
their fan base, you will get their psychos, you'll get all
the stuff that comes with it. It isn't worth the money.
Luckily I never took any money from anybody from that
community, but well, that I knowof not, not for those things.

(45:27):
I mean, they could have tipped me just off of GP, but you know,
it's just a bad situation to be in.
Beyond that, the real message isthis.
When you're being blackmailed, if you have people that are
coming to you and making you feel like you know what I
experienced, I have never responded to them.
And in my case, I've been very lucky.

(45:47):
Nothing has actually come to fruition.
PETA has not come to my door. The police have not come to my
door. And they had, they have not done
anything outside of just continuously sending me emails.
And they did put out the video with my e-mail address on it and
all my social media information or whatever.
And I do get there was a time I was getting hundreds of emails a

(46:09):
day asking me to do this content.
And randomly from time to time I'll get something that's like,
hey, I saw you on zoo something,you know, can you do a video for
me? And I just ignore it and keep it
pushing. But I say that to say that the
Internet is a dangerous place. So oh gosh, that's my husband.

(46:29):
I didn't respond to his text. So he's like, hello, but you got
to be careful. Please protect yourself.
And I, I tried to get the policeinvolved and the FBI involved,
but there's so much Internet crime happening that a Cam girl
being stalked is not top priority.

(46:53):
And since then, I've been working on some sort of like,
nonprofit organization that helps people that are like Cam
performers who are going throughthis, whether it's someone they
know or someone they don't know or whatever the case may be.
I'm lucky that I have a support system that brought me back to,

(47:16):
you know, being able to be myself and not get sucked in
this situation. But a lot of people are
adversely affected. I will say it did affect my
mental health. And I want to create an
organization that comes in, getsthe FBI or, you know, some sort
of government agency involved and helps you to feel a little
bit more safe, gives you tips and resources that you can, you

(47:38):
know, protect yourself and set you up with a free VPN or
whatever the case may be. Like.
I haven't gotten that far yet. But I do think it's important
that online performers have somewhere to go to get comfort
or just to be able to express themselves to someone.
You know, you go to your family and they're like, well, I told

(47:59):
you So what did you think was going to?
Happen. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, thanks. Oh, that, that that helps.
That helps too much. Thank you.
Well, I mean, I think it's important because, you know,
we're just doing our jobs, you know, and while being a online
performer, whether you're just doing OF or if you're on a

(48:21):
campsite or whatever part of theindustry you're in, you know,
the, the biggest thing that a lot of people don't understand
is that we are the product. So when we are going through
something, whether it's mental health, whether it's physical
health, where, whether it's our heart is broken because a
partner is being a shitty personor they broke up with us or we

(48:44):
broke up with them or whatever. Like when you, when we're going
through things, it affects our money, it affects our ability to
conduct business, It affects everything.
And you know, we need to, to have a better support system
because some of the worst serious situations I've
experienced have been with otherperformers.

(49:05):
And we have enough fights. We have enough fights out here.
Why the fuck are we fighting each other?
Right. You know what I'm saying?
I just did a TikTok the other day where I'm like, we are not
beefing, you're beefing. We're not beefing.
I don't I have no, I don't give a fuck.
Like we've decided we're not going to be OK with each other.
Cool. I don't.
I'm not going to go out on a shit shit throwing campaign for

(49:28):
what? Take that time and that energy
and be a better version of yourself.
Do better. But what do I gain from coming
for you? Like nothing.
And I feel like people just misjudge me thinking that I'm
some, you know, like I, I don't know, like, I don't know what
they think I'm doing, but I'm literally over here just trying
to survive the fucking world, OK?

(49:50):
I am literally just trying to bea better version of myself today
than I was yesterday. I am literally just trying not
to hurt myself or anybody else in this.
World. You are not.
I'm not going to give you any time or energy.
We've we've come to the conclusion that we can't be
cool. No problem.
It doesn't have to be a shit throwing war like done.

(50:12):
We're moving on, but unfortunately, you know, and
this isn't just in the industry,I think this is just people in
general. Like when you separate from
someone, we've got to find healthier ways of coming up with
an amicable way of separating ourselves from people because
sometimes we are the drama. We create a situation where

(50:34):
there is no situation to create.It's like, hey, you know, you
made a mistake, I made a mistake, we made a mistake.
We decided that we just don't need to be in the same airspace
together. Cool.
I'm going to remove myself so you can breathe without me.
I'm going to go somewhere to theother side, you know what I'm
saying? And everything that I'm doing
going forward is just, you know,has nothing to do with you so.

(51:00):
Yeah, Cam girl beef I don't get because I guess yeah, you can
fucking say like, you know, likewhat you're taking my fucking
customers this and that, but that's that's really not the
fucking reality of it. But besides that, with the the
dachshund, because I see that a lot on the Reddit, you know, the

(51:20):
Reddit, the different race, the only fans, the fucking creators
advice, all that shit. I see a lot of especially news.
They're like I I fucking been docs.
What the fuck do I do? Would you say like just in
general? Like just?
Ignore it. No, no, I don't say ignore it

(51:42):
because people having your personal information is serious.
I have not figured out a affordable and successful way of
scrubbing the Internet. A lot of the information, once
it's been placed on the regular Internet makes it to the dark
web. And once it's on the dark web,

(52:02):
it's virtually impossible to hunt down and get off.
So that's not meant to scare people, it's meant to be the
reality of the situation. Now, I've been doxed many times
and you know, I can say that fortunate for myself, you know,

(52:23):
those things haven't come into asafety issue that I'm aware of.
And I'm going to say that I'm aware of because I don't know if
someone was watching me. There's been a few times and few
situations that could have possibly been as a result of
being docs, but I don't know forcertain.
And I don't like to perpetuate astoryline unless I know that

(52:43):
there's, you know, actual facts.But I can say that, like when it
comes to being docs, there's some things you can do to
protect yourself, and one of those things is getting yourself
APO box. Never, ever, ever.
I don't care how much you get comfortable with a fan.
I don't care how comfortable youget with other performers.

(53:07):
Use as little of your own personal information as you have
to. And it's difficult.
It's one of the reasons why I don't collab with people is
because you got to give them your driver's license.
You got to give them, you know, personal information.
And you know, I just don't feel comfortable with people out

(53:27):
there having access to my personal information.
So I find I find it using, and Iknow it sounds shitty, but using
a fake name, using APO box, having a phone number that's
hidden behind a wall or not, youknow, like maybe getting a
prepaid phone and not even having it in your name.

(53:48):
Thinking about I used to be a skip tracer and a skip tracer is
a person who for bounty hunters and collection agencies and
police, they go and they search the Internet to find out who
people are. So one of the things that makes
it really difficult to find people is when they use things
like text now or Google Voice orthey don't have their phone in

(54:09):
their name because, you know, that's an easy reverse search,
not using your home address. You know, there's, there's just
a lot of things that you can do to mask your identity.
And I think it's super necessaryfor your own safety and don't
invite people to your home. The number one reason why people

(54:31):
in this industry are targeted isbecause people have their home
address. Stop inviting people in your
home. And it sucks.
It sucks because you you meet people and you like them and you
want them to come over and have drinks and and have girls nights
and shoot content and go on Cam together.
You want to do it. But I I highly suggest renting

(54:52):
an air and B Airbnb, going to a studio, getting a hotel room,
being in a mutual place where neither one of you have to give
up your home address. And when things are done, you go
home to your, your safe, you know your safe zone.
And while I don't know how to circumvent the identification

(55:17):
information, I do like that somecampsites, you just give them
your your online name, like Chatterbait, send party
streaming. You just give them the name of
the person that you're camming with and you don't have to give
them any information. Same thing as oof you just tell
them what your OF name is, they tag you and boom you're you're

(55:40):
under compliance. Yeah, I had no idea about that.
I thought like, you know, like long as you're, you know, you
give the the site your information, then they know that
you're good to, you know, streamwith them.
It's all good to give another performer your all your
information. That's insane.
I have no idea that's a thing. Well, if you're shooting, well,

(56:03):
here's the thing. While the camming part isn't
really the issue, what happens is when we're collaborating
together, we want to maximize the time that we're together,
right? So while we're together, we're
going to want to shoot content, whether we use it for many vids
or clips for sale or OFLF, wherever we want to use it.

(56:26):
You get a release form and A2257form at minimum.
And the release form is to verify that you have rightful
ownership of the content that you create.
And the 2257 is for age verification to verify that the
person that you're shooting content with is of age, which
requires A valid state or government issued ID, which is

(56:51):
where the driver's license comesinto play.
So if we're getting together. Oh yeah, OK all.
Right and we're shooting contenttogether then it would be
necessary if I'm going to use that content outside of you know
only fans or where wherever I need to have those those things

(57:11):
in place. I have to have the the valid
photo Idi have to have the 2257 to verify that you, you know,
agreed you were consensual and amodel release that says that I
have, you know, rightful ownership of this content and
can and been given permission todistribute it.
So these things are necessary ifwe're going to be shooting
together. And a lot of people don't do it.

(57:32):
They don't do the compliance stuff, which, you know, to each
their own. I don't recommend it, but if
you're doing these things, then this is where the the exchange
of the personal information takes place.
And so that's why I think it's great that camp sites are
incorporating because there was a time you had to do this for
the campsites when you got on Chatterbait, you had to

(57:53):
literally fill out the paperwork, submit the ID and
they had to to prove it. And now it's you just tell them
what their Chatterbait ID is andthey you know they'll prove it
and then you're good to go. Right.
Yeah. Which is, which is great because
I don't you know. That's how it should be.

(58:14):
Like why? Why am I 'cause I forget what
site it is? Yeah, 'cause I 'cause I was
posting clips of the podcast. I think it, it might have been X
videos, I don't remember, but you had to get a release form
from the person. I was like, I'm not fucking.
I don't. P Hub does that too.
P Hub does that too. They require that you have the

(58:35):
the the paperwork and the ID. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not asking anyone for their fucking information.
I don't want it. I don't want them to have to
give it like that. That feels so uncomfortable.
It is uncomfortable. However, it's I think if, if I
was to come up with, if I could get funding, I would come up

(58:55):
with a company that protected performers information and
distributed the information. I don't know how I would do it.
Like I, I really don't know how that would function, but there
used to be a site and I forget what it was called, but it was
like 2257 something. And basically you submitted all

(59:16):
your 2257 paperwork to them. Because technically the way that
it's supposed to work is this. If the government comes in and
someone says you don't have rightful ownership of this
content or you go to to court orwhatever.
But at any given time, they can request the paperwork of all the

(59:37):
the the adult entertainment content that you shot.
And you have to supply valid I, DS and paperwork and even have
the date that the content was shot so that they can verify
that they were 18 on the day that this stuff was shot.
You have to identify what you shot.
Technically there people just dothe basics, but you know, you're

(59:59):
actually supposed to have a verydetailed and you're supposed to
get a form for everything you shoot.
So if you shoot 10 scenes, each scene should have its own
content release and 2257, which is crazy.
It's a lot of paperwork, but youknow, that's how it's supposed
to be. Because if if the police come in
and someone says that you're shooting content with someone

(01:00:21):
who's underage. You have to be able to supply
the paperwork, and they're not just going to ask for the
paperwork of the person you're shooting with at the time.
They're going to think that if you've done it once, you've done
it before, they want to see everything.
They're going to want to see your entire catalog.
In fact, I'm actually getting ready to do a podcast in a few
weeks where we talk about like, traveling with porn on your

(01:00:42):
phone and how that can get you locked up in certain countries
in the world. Oh shit.
When I tell you people think like I don't have time to beef
with people, I'm back here literally trying to create safer
spaces for adult content creators in this world.
There are a lot of things that are happening that a lot of

(01:01:03):
people don't think about or don't know to think about.
And I just want to make, make itso that we can exist and have
safe spaces to turn to for, you know, there's Pineapple Support
for therapy. But I think that we should have
support groups where we can go in there and talk about, you
know, shitty days. Maybe Pineapple Support doesn't

(01:01:24):
have a support group, but maybe they do.
I don't know. But I'm saying like, I just want
to have these these spaces that help us function because, you
know, you're not alone. You know, you're not alone.
But anyways, yeah, paperwork. Sounds like a huge pain in the

(01:01:46):
ass. I mean, but these are things we
should be as adult entertainers,we should be proactively working
together to fix the system. I mean, why are we beefing with
each other? Excuse me while in Congress they
are creating an age verificationnightmare where adult

(01:02:09):
entertainment is going to near be virtually non existent on the
Internet in in 50 U.S. states now not 50 but right now there's
a lot of states that are incorporating laws that create
an age verification system that like.
You can't even. I thought it was just Texas.
You can't can in Florida. People are having to get VPN and

(01:02:32):
creatively or I, I don't know, you can't get to pee hub in
Florida or I've got a I've got afriend that's in Florida, one of
my, one of my fans that I've been friends with for a long
time. He does not know my address, by
the way. I don't even think he knows my
real name. But anyways, he said that he had
to get AVPN to be able to get toOF and other adult websites.

(01:02:55):
And he is, you know, like, damn,I got to go through all this
shit just to be able to, you know, get one at night.
I got to write that down becauseI'm talking to someone that
lives in Florida tomorrow night.I'm curious because I just
thought it was Texas, like, you know, because that's no, because
all the comedians are talking about that I can't access porn
in Texas, blah blah blah. There are more states than that.

(01:03:17):
There are definitely more statesthan that and there are more
states that are jumping on the bandwagon.
So I if you are in the industry at whatever capacity, Cam
person, adult entertainer, content creator, whatever you
want to call yourself, you should be on xbiz.com X biz.net.
They put out Daily Press releases and are up to date

(01:03:40):
with, you know, keeping you. Corey Silverstein is an adult
entertainment attorney and he puts out things where he talks
about why this is so important for us to fight against and, and
how age verification affects us as performers and how it affects
our ability to make money in, you know, various states.

(01:04:02):
And why, you know, a lot of people are like, well, I don't
understand why I'm making less money on cams and then on OF
when I made so much money in thepandemic.
And I'm like, because these lawsaffect us.
If they can't reach you, they can't pay you.
Think about it, if you can't getinto the McDonald's parking lot

(01:04:24):
and the drive through is blockedoff and the doors are locked,
can you get McDonald's? No, you got to go somewhere
else. Just want to make chicken.
What the fuck? I just want a Big Mac bro.
Right. Like what the fuck, right?
But you got to think about it, like and, and, and here's the
other part of that, like as a performer, we often are like,

(01:04:45):
Dang, maybe I'm just not lookingmy best or maybe I got a bad
attitude on camera or whatever. And sometimes there are things
happening in the background thathave nothing to do with you and
are affecting your ability to make money.
So don't always take it personalbecause it's easy.
I do it too. Sometimes they'll be like, damn,
that was a bad day on Cam. Did I did have an attitude?

(01:05:07):
Was that too mean? Because I'm a dominatrix?
So I'm like, pay me my money. I mean, yeah, like, shut up, pay
me. And people are like, sometimes
I'll be like, damn that that waskind of mean.
I should be a little more nurturing.
Busting out the fucking Goodfellas.
Fuck you, pay me. That, but that's really how I

(01:05:28):
feel like I when it comes to females, I'm very sensual.
When it comes to men, I'm like man, just give me the fucking
money and shut the fuck. Up well, isn't that what it's
all about though? Like it's like it's a business
though, right? Like you're.
It is. Like, if you're going to your

(01:05:48):
job, like no matter what it is going to McDonald's, going to
fucking clean someone's house, whatever, it's a fucking job.
I'm not there to fucking make friends.
I'm not, you know. No, but we have to we have to
have a certain, I don't want to say customer service, but I
mean, for a lack of a better wayto explain it, we've got like,

(01:06:09):
you can't just tell somebody like we all know and it drives
me insane. And you know why, why I'm on
Chatterbait or Sin party or whatever what Tam said, I'm on.
You know why I'm there. I know why you're here.
I'm not trying to stop you from getting to your ultimate
explosion. I just need you to understand
that I'm not here to do it just because I have nothing better to

(01:06:32):
do on a Saturday night. You know what I mean?
I'm here because I expect to getpaid.
So and you know, it's like, but we live in a time right now
where so many things have been watered down to where people
just expect everything for free.But it's kind of been like that

(01:06:52):
for a long time. It's not new.
It's just become more prevalent.But yeah, it to some degree,
yes, you got to be like, I'm here at my job.
But and we get that's a whole nother topic for a whole nother
time, like the mentality of why people, you know, don't respect
sex workers. Like, you know, they think that

(01:07:14):
we're just disposable nothings. We we don't matter.
But yeah, I'm here to work. That's why I don't answer DMS on
social media. I'm not there to message you for
free. You want to message me and go to
my OF? You want to see me go live?
You go. You go to sinparty.com, my
preferred webcam site. Yeah, it's fucking amazing.

(01:07:40):
Because like, I don't know, because like I'm not in the
business. I don't know shit.
But like I see a lot because I also post, I post a show
everywhere, but I'm one of the thing I posted on bit Shoot.
You're familiar with Bit shoot. It's like a, you know, a YouTube
alternative. Never heard of it.
Yeah, hold on, let me. Write this down big.

(01:08:01):
A bit Shoot BITCHUTE Yeah. So so you got YouTube, then you
have Rumble and then there's bitshoot.
It's like, you know, I call it third tier.
I'm kind of friends with the CEOof bit shoot, so please don't
take that personally, Sir. Right.
It's not like that, I swear. I just, you know, it is what it

(01:08:25):
is, OK, But there are fucking like every fucking comment on
every fucking video are these insell guys that are like, you
know, extremely disrespectful tothe, you know, to the, to the
girl that I'm interviewing and everything.
And it makes no sense to me. I don't understand.

(01:08:47):
Like, First off, who gives a shit?
Why are you even fucking saying what you're saying?
Who fucking cares, all right? And to me, it seems like it's
those guys that just can't get any pussy.
They can't talk to girls. They have no concept of it.
They're angry at, you know. Or angry.
Let's look at it like this. Where are they at?

(01:09:09):
They're on the Internet. They're not out with a girl.
They're not doing what men and women or whatever, you know,
sexual dynamic you are because you know, do you.
But they're on the Internet, which is an indication that they
don't have friends. It's an indication that they

(01:09:31):
feel like that they're not living their best life because
I'm not commenting on shit that doesn't have anything to do with
me. Or even if it does, unless it's
something that I feel I'm going to make a difference and usually
a positive difference, I'm not even going to post anything.
I don't hit send unless it's important, you know what I mean?

(01:09:52):
But these are people that probably do this all day, every
day. They live in their mother's
basement. They're 40 years old, you know,
living on whatever income sourcethey've got coming in, if any.
Maybe they just, you know, live off their parents Social
Security. Who fucking knows?
Like, obviously for you to feel compelled to make that comment,

(01:10:13):
but here's my advice. I don't take it personal.
You know why I don't take it personal?
Because who the fuck are they? It's like when people call me
fat, I'm like, oh shit, Captain Obvious.
What? I know I'm fat.
I don't need you to tell me I'm fat, but I'm fucking fabulous.

(01:10:35):
So I may be fat, but you are stupid and I can lose weight.
You're stuck that way for the rest of your life.
So who's winning? Not only that, but it goes back
to my original trade line. I get paid by the pound.
So if I gain 5 lbs, I'm gaining more money.
So now what? You have to just like if you

(01:10:59):
engage with people like that, you're only giving them the
attention that you know the Mamaupstairs is not giving them or
whoever. Like they're just I don't even
engage with them because nothingis more frustrating and
insulting to them then when nobody pays them attention.
They love the attention when people go back and forth with
them on the Internet. So you know if you're going to

(01:11:21):
watch when you see this you fucking loser, I don't give a
fuck. Comment away because the more
you comment it creates engagement for his account.
So comment the fuck on. Just know falls on deaf ears.
I don't give a fuck. In fact, I get I I get turned on

(01:11:42):
by it, so. Well, fuck you.
We all know they're fucking limpDick losers that can't get any
pussy have no concept of talkingto a girl, have never talked to
a girl because they're too fucking scared and they're it
see they are so angry. I don't know why I get angry

(01:12:03):
about it, but it fucking it justit's so fucking like I've never
had like out of all since I started watching YouTube or any
of this shit, I've never had thefucking urge to, you know, say
something negative about some shit I've seen on YouTube.
Like for anything, forget about Cam girls, like anything, any

(01:12:25):
fucking video I've ever seen, I've never had the urge to
fucking, you know, like, Oh, this is garbage, because you
know what, I know that other youknow, especially if you know,
got a lot of views, likes whatever.
I know other people like it, so just because I don't like it
doesn't mean other people don't like it, you know what I mean?
And who cares? Who the fuck are you to think

(01:12:47):
that your opinion matters? You're like.
Let's just. Face it, the Internet is full
of, you know, 60 billion people.Like who the fuck are you?
Why are you typing this comment that nobody really gives a fuck
about? You know what I mean?
Like, what a fucking loser. Like, if that's not the boy who

(01:13:07):
cried wolf begging for attention, like, yeah.
So if you're going to comment onmy shit, and I urge you to give
me your best, give me like you don't like the comments that
they say are so dumb that I'm like, you didn't even bring your
best. Come for me and give me
something that I'm like, that's funny.

(01:13:28):
You know what I'm saying? Those are the comments that I
may comment on and I might be like clap, clap, clap, touché,
You know what I'm saying? Like when somebody says
something that's actually funny or clever, then I'm like, OK,
that was funny. I'm gonna give you that because
that's the type of person that Iam.
Like I'm humble as fuck. Like I'm going to be like, yeah,
that was funny. I do have two chins.
Wow, maybe 3. Like OK, I give you that.

(01:13:50):
But like the shit that they say is so wack and weak and it's
like, it's like going for the like most common fat joke or the
most common your Mama joke or the most common you're so stupid
joke. It's like, come on, just be real
and creative and like original, give me something.
But you don't even bring your best.

(01:14:11):
You go for the you know, you looked in the, you know, the the
joke book for dummies and you'relike, you're so fat that you
know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you're just like, really? I saw that on a comedy show like
Come on, do Better. Exactly.
And that that's what I want fucking, you know, Cam girls to
realize, like fuck the fucking negative comments and shit.

(01:14:33):
Like because do do other people do?
Do you have people that like you?
That's what matters. You know what I mean?
Of course there's going to be people that don't like you.
That's just how it is. That's how it is with
everything. They don't even like themselves.
They don't. They're not, which is why
they're commenting like that. Right.
They're not capable of liking you because they don't even like

(01:14:53):
themselves. Nobody, This is the thing.
What do they say? There's like some comment where
it's like the the queen doesn't something with the peasants, but
it's it's there's something likethe the lions don't.

(01:15:16):
I'm not familiar with that shit.It's like some sort of thing
where it's like the, the basis of the comment is like, there's
certain, like the queen isn't going to fight with a peasant
because the Queen's on the throne.
Like she, she doesn't, she's notgoing to have an argument with a
commoner. You know what I mean?
Like understanding that like these people are not even close

(01:15:39):
to yours. Like they're not in any
comparison to you. You don't compete where you
don't compare. Like when people say, oh, you
know, like I'm competing with them and I'm like, you are on a
country Rd. in the middle of Godfucking knows nowhere.
I'm on a highway in the fast lane on the autobahn in a
completely different country. We are not competing.

(01:16:02):
We can't. You're on a bicycle on a country
Rd. I'm on the autobahn.
I'm going 1,000,000 miles a minute like and beyond that, I'm
not here to compete with you. What?
Unless you want to get into something that's lucrative,
like, you know, a pay-per-view boxing match or a bad baby

(01:16:23):
Alabama Barker beef because bothof them are making money from
that shit. I'm not interested.
I don't give a fuck about your comment.
I don't give a fuck about your beef.
I don't give a fuck about your opinion.
And I hate to say it that way because, you know, I, I want, I,
I don't want people to think that I don't value other people
just because of, you know, financial gain.

(01:16:45):
But when it comes to comments, Ireally don't, I don't nothing
you say, unless you're bringing something to my attention where
I said something that's offensive.
And it really is offensive. You know what I mean?
Like those are the types of situations where I might pay
attention and use that as a learning moment to say, I didn't
realize that what I was saying was offensive.

(01:17:07):
You know what I mean? Like, you know, back in the day
when people used to say tranny and it's like, no, you say trans
or now you have to do you have to ask people what they identify
as? You know, are you she, her, him,
him, they, them or whatever. Like, and you know, those are
those are moments where it's like, OK, I'm willing to learn,

(01:17:29):
but unless your comment is thereto teach a lesson or not even
teach a lesson, but to inform meor the the people that are
looking at this content and you're just there to be a
Jackass. Like then bring your best.
Come with your best, bro. Don't come at me with no, we got
shit 'cause I'm going to come upand underneath your comment and

(01:17:50):
laugh my ass off or not pay you any attention at all.
Or maybe I'll put you on my podcast and talk shit about you.
I don't know. Not likely, but maybe that's
something to do in the future. Oh well, that's what I'm doing.
That's why I brought up that bitshoot stuff because I want to
take all those comments and justdo a fucking I just want to go

(01:18:11):
through each one because they are so fucking like it's but.
Why you're giving them Airplay? They deserve it, their fucking
pussies. They don't deserve it.
Put that time and energy into something positive.
Like take the the good comments and make a podcast where you're
like, oh, this is really nice round of applause.

(01:18:32):
All right, I'll do it on my other fucking thing, the my
party thing, because it fucking so I can make fun of them.
I just want to make fun. Is it?
Going to make you money. Maybe, I don't know, it's just
fun to me. That's it's.
You need to find better hobbies,bro, if you're going to have
fun, like have fun making money.You know what I'm saying?

(01:18:55):
I'm just, I don't know, that's just my personal opinion.
I feel like again, this goes back to me saying like I'm I'm
only interested in doing things that are going to better myself
as a human being or are going tomake money and I'm not willing
to hurt other people to make money.
You know what I'm saying? Like that's definitely that's

(01:19:16):
not something I'm interested in.In fact, I did AI did a thing
called BBW Cam house from 2014 to 2018.
It was the first BBW virtual voyeur house.
So I don't know if you guys remember it was like dorm
something dorms, but basically there used to be this this

(01:19:37):
website where you could go and they had cameras inside the dorm
rooms. And I'm going to look it up
because I need to remember big. Brother that show, Big Brother.
Big Brother I. Used to love that season 2 will.
Yes. He's the fucking man.
But. Hold on, I'm going to look it up
because I I used to remember it and it's been a long time since
I've talked to Yeah. Fucking Big Brother Oh my God,
season 2. I didn't watch season 1 season 2

(01:19:59):
fucking Will was like fucking Jr.
Ewing from Dallas. That's a nobody understands that
that's a fucking you got to be like in your 60s to know Dallas,
but. I remember Dallas, but yeah, it
was Big Brother. But, you know, the adult
entertainment version, so yeah. Yeah, you you could.

(01:20:20):
See everything in my house, I lived in the house, which is
highly 10 out of 10 do not recommend.
But you could see the cameras inthe bathrooms, you could see the
cameras in all the bedrooms, thebasement, which is where most of
the action took place because wehosted lifestyle parties.
And so during the time of this house, I was approached by, we

(01:20:49):
did a think on Channel 5 UKA show called Super Size.
I don't know if it's still out, but there was, we were on ATV
show in the UK and it was basically just talking about the
voyeur house and how you know, we are plus size performers and
I'm an advocate for size positivity and body positivity

(01:21:11):
yadda yadda, yadda. So we were on Channel 5 and
through that other companies andthis is during the bad girl bad
girl club, you know, hype like it was the big thing and they
came and they said we want to dobasically a spinoff called BBW
bad Girls Club. And I was like absolutely not

(01:21:31):
good money, really good money, almost life changing money.
Like they they were willing to pay good money to do this show.
And I said absolutely not one. I live in this house, which
means I don't get to go home when the the drama is over
because the drama is never goingto be over.
Because that's how that works, right?
They just keep everybody at oddswith each other because that's

(01:21:54):
what keeps the Bad Girls Club. And I've also seen how reality
TV works and the producers stir up drama.
So there's that. Two, I was not comfortable
pitting women against each other.
I'm not OK with that. I'm not OK with things being
fabricated or things being eggedon to a point where people want

(01:22:16):
to harm each other. Like it's one thing if we can
just argue. And even then that's toxic
behavior that I just didn't and I just didn't feel comfortable
making money or you know, where this would this be an
opportunity for people to rise in their stardom?
Possibly. But is that what I want to be
known for? Fuck no.
And on top of that, I was also recently asked to do a podcast,

(01:22:40):
and it would be an adult entertainment gossip podcast
where we would talk about who's beefing and we would talk about,
you know, all the drama happening in the industry.
And I was like, no. The Keemstar you'd be the
Keemstar of. The Mike S You know who Mike S
is? No, no.
It's kind of like the Mike S theTMZ of porn like.
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(01:23:02):
No, no. So, and that's a testament to
the opportunities that have presented themselves over the
years where people are like, oh,she'll step on anybody to get to
the top. And I'm like, I have not gotten
to the top because I refuse to do those things.
I refuse. I just don't want to be a part.
First of all, nothing good comesout of it.

(01:23:24):
Secondly, I I'm naturally just ends up in drama.
So I don't want to purposefully enter into situations where, you
know, people are violent and youknow, beyond that, like I'm
doing my best to be a positive part of the Internet.
I want to, my social media is very much I want to be

(01:23:47):
supportive to other people. I want to be give positive, you
know, content, But I, I just, I'm not interested in, in
participating in that shit. And it could have been
lucrative. So I'm not willing to do
anything for money. Well, yeah, people love
negativity. Like, like you said, TMZ, like,

(01:24:10):
you know, it's all fucking negative.
Keemstar on YouTube, all negative.
There's no positive. Who the fuck nobody want?
I don't know why. Like people love drama.
I mean, it's easier to judge other people and their drama.
Like, I mean, let's look at the ditty situation.

(01:24:30):
I mean, people are invested in his story, but they're invested
because they're like, what's going to happen to Diddy?
But what about the people that were affected by him, the
victims that are out there, thatlives have been destroyed?
Like, you know, in the midst of all this drama?
Yeah, it's like, are we interested in what happens to

(01:24:53):
him for the purpose of making sure that he's not able to hurt
anybody else? Absolutely.
But that's, I don't think that'swhy people are watching.
They're watching because, you know, drama worthy.
It's like Kanye West, people talk so much shit about, oh,
Kanye West and I'm like, you know, Kanye says some things
that are very, very off the wall.

(01:25:13):
Like, he's definitely an unusualperson.
Hardcore bipolar. Absolutely.
Well, with the whole fucking ditty thing, like I don't even
fucking like I haven't heard anything.
Like every now and then I'll hear shit.
The only thing I'm interested inis like, it's amazing that that

(01:25:35):
fucking goes on like that. That's insane.
But that's what I'm saying when you, when you beep with somebody
over some dumb shit, you know, because somebody's tipping
someone else more on campsites or you know what I'm saying,
like, you know, trivial drama. There are bigger situations
happening. People's lives are in danger,

(01:25:56):
people's mental health are at risk.
There are true victims out thereand other bigger worldly things
happening. I don't have time to give a fuck
about you and your feelings. Fuck your feelings.
And if you really feel some kindof way, there's a way to go
about things without having to, to destroy each other and get

(01:26:17):
into Internet beef, you know, contact the person directly.
Contact the person directly. Because in a lot of the
situations that I've seen, no one's attempted any type of
amicable resolution. They just one person has one
opinion, somebody else has a different opinion.
And then they just go at each other.
And in the midst of that, it's like, what is the real common

(01:26:40):
problem here? What, what are we hoping to
accomplish with this? Are you, are you destroying this
person because they're a real bad person and they're out there
really hurting people? Or are you just hurt yourself
and hurt people hurt people and you do it for attention?
Like I just don't understand it.I'm not going to actively 1.

(01:27:00):
I don't participate in the online back and forth anyways
because to me, I could take thattime and energy and do something
more positive, productive and lucrative.
But beyond that, you know, if you want to have a conversation
with me, there's a way to go about that.
And most of the people that havehad beef with me have never
confronted me directly. It's always been conversations

(01:27:21):
in the background and, you know,beefing with me in the
background or beefing with me onsocial media.
And because I don't participate,it either fades away or those
people don't even exist in the industry anymore.
So I just ignore it. I'm just like, fuck that.
I don't get it. I don't understand it.
Like. Well, it's I think it's all

(01:27:45):
about their personal fucking. I mean, you know this, it's all
about their personal issues. It has nothing to do with you.
You know, they feel, I mean, it does that usually.
Well, it's usually because they probably feel threatened by you.
You know what I mean? Like I mean it depends on the
situation of. Maybe.
I think. I think first of all, I am a

(01:28:08):
person who takes responsibility and accountability for my shit.
Have I made mistakes? 1000%.
Have I function? Have I functioned in this
industry during times where I was mentally broken?
Yes. In those times.
Have I participated in toxic activities or conversations or
been not the most authentic version of myself and things

(01:28:30):
have happened and people have been hurt?
Yes. However, when I say that I'm not
perfect, so I'm not going to sithere and try to paint a picture
like, oh, I'm a victim, people attack me for no reason because
it's not the case. What I'm saying is that there's
a way to go about doing things and having that conversation and

(01:28:50):
also saying she's not willing tohear my side of the story or
vice versa. And we're not going to come up
with an amicable like resolution.
But I'm an understanding person who can say, listen, I may not
understand where you're coming from.
And I, I, I don't exactly, you know, like I'm that person
that's going to be like, I get it, OK.

(01:29:10):
If I'm not sorry about what I did because I don't understand
how what I did was wrong, then I'm not going to apologize.
But if I see that I was wrong and in most cases I, I'll be
like, yeah, that was fucked up. I could have, I could have
handled that situation better. Or yeah, I said that that that
was mean. Like that was very hurtful.
I apologize and it doesn't have to be like a reconciliation.

(01:29:34):
And we're not going to pick up where we left off.
I'm OK with that, but we can at least move in this space and not
have to be on enemy, you know, like it's not an enemy territory
type situation. It's you're doing your thing.
I'm doing my thing. And that's just, you know,
you're, you're on your side. I'm on my side and I respect
that. And you know, I, I think for me,

(01:29:57):
I'm often misunderstood. And the version of me that a lot
of people beef with is an older version of myself.
I took 2024 to heal. I took 2024 to face my demons
and to do the work that needed to be done because, you know, a
lot of things that happened prior to that I never took the

(01:30:19):
time to I, I put warm all my energy into I heart BBW and you
know, shit got crazy. And so I think that's the part,
because I take responsibility and accountability for my
actions or lack thereof, other people aren't quite there in
their journey. They're not at that point in

(01:30:40):
their journey where they too cansay, yeah, I could have did
something better. I could have, would have, should
have, you know, participated in this or shouldn't have
participated in that. And because they don't want to
take accountability or any responsibility for their actions
or lack thereof, it's easier to just be in a situation with me

(01:31:02):
and make me the enemy because they don't want to.
They don't want to have that moment of clarity or that moment
of truth where it's like, yeah, it takes more than one person to
build a community and it takes more than one person to tear it
apart and destroy it. So I can't, I can't be solely
responsible. I can't take all the accolades

(01:31:24):
for its success, and I'm not going to take all the blame for
its destruction. So anybody that has beef, I'm
just like, yo, there are so manybetter things that we can be
doing with ourselves that I'm just not participating.
Right. And I think a lot of people like
are so used to dealing with people that don't own up to

(01:31:45):
their shit and just fucking, youknow, so like when they're
beefing with Someone Like You, they're, you know, they're just
expecting you to not own up to your shit, not just fucking.
So it just keeps on fucking coming at you, you know what I
mean? But you don't know.
Right, right. That right.
That's the thing you don't know.If you never try, you can't

(01:32:06):
fail. You can't succeed like you
gotta. If you come to me and one of the
things that I learned throughoutthis last year, you also have to
remember where people are in thetime that a situation happens.
And for me, if you had a conversation with me during 2023
and I wasn't listening to you orI didn't understand what I was

(01:32:28):
doing wrong, I was broken. I was I was barely surviving.
I literally was giving everything to everyone except
myself. And so at the end of 2023, I was
broken, like shattered into a million pieces.
Excuse me. And 2024, I had to put myself

(01:32:50):
back together. So the conversation that we
would have had in 2023 is going to look very differently than
the conversation that we're going to have in 2025.
In 2025, I'm going to sit down and say I fucked up.
I made some critical mistakes. I was supposed to be a leader
and I shouldn't have been leading anything because I could

(01:33:11):
barely lead myself and I had some serious trauma take place.
And that's not an excuse for badbehavior.
It's just the facts of what was happening in my life.
And I excuse, do not excuse my behavior in any way, shape, form
or fashion. So the conversation we're going
to have today is going to be very different because I'm I'm
healed, I'm matured, I've grown and evolved and realized that,

(01:33:36):
you know, the way that I was doing things was not healthy for
myself or anybody around me. So if someone was hurt by my
actions or my words is somebody,you know, feel some kind of way.
And that's what the beef is, which in most cases it is.
Somebody was hurt by something and you know, it's just easier
to villainize other people than to say I went about doing

(01:33:59):
things, you know, and it's not their responsibility.
But at the same time, like, it kind of it like it's our
responsibility. But I digress.
That conversation is going to look very different today
because I would definitely be like, yeah, I said some fucked
up shit. I did some fucked up shit and I
wasn't the best version of myself.
I apologize. You know, I don't want to be

(01:34:20):
around you because anybody that I'm going to be around needs to
be able to come to me and be like, shake me and be like, yo
bitch, what the fuck are you doing?
Like. That's, that's what I've
ascertained from all of those things, is that I wasn't around
people who genuinely cared aboutme because those people would
have noticed that something was wrong and found a way to

(01:34:42):
communicate with me that what I was doing was damaging myself
and the people around me. You know what I mean?
Oh. Yeah, definitely.
So now I, I, so it wouldn't be asituation where it's like, I
don't hate you. I don't, I don't want, you know,
like I, I don't want to have that negative energy between us
because it's not healthy. But at the same time, you know,

(01:35:05):
be able to come to a space whereit's like, you know, I get it.
You you, you're upset about something that happened in 2023
and the version of me that you are talking about doesn't even
exist anymore because I've done everything in my power to figure
out why that was happening so that I could fix it and be a

(01:35:25):
better version of myself. Not that I'm better than anyone
else because that's I hate when people say that you're but you
think you're better than everyone else.
No, babe, I'm better me today than it was yesterday.
Period. So.
Right, So if you're having beef with someone, fucking just just
tell them like it is. Don't fucking like be like try

(01:35:48):
not to be confrontational because like I've had, you know,
like I had some YouTube friends and shit.
I fucking destroyed relationships and I, you know,
got into a lot of fucking YouTube drama and shit,
especially with one of my friends asking a gangster.
We fucking like we are best friends.
We fucking you know, we got intobeef.

(01:36:08):
I don't even remember what the beef what.
Well, it was my fault, but and he finally fucking said, you
know, like he was making diss tracks on me.
We were fucking going back and forth, but like he finally said
like we had a real conversation.He was like, yo, you fucking
said this shit and it just made everything fucked up.
And I you know, I I was like, Ohmy God, I didn't even realize I
said that. I am so sorry.
And we made-up and everything was good.

(01:36:31):
You know what I mean? Like the just tell someone like
it is, you know, like. I mean, but in today's day, I'll
be honest with you, in today's day, people are so sensitive and
it's easier to perpetuate the negativity than it is to
confront the situation. And honestly, for me, a lot of

(01:36:54):
times the reason why I don't confront things is because I
don't, I don't say I don't confront things, but there are
things that I have not confronted because the person
that I would be confronting is not in a place and I'm not
really the person to judge that.But if I don't confront

(01:37:15):
something, it's usually because I'm like, I don't think this
person's in a healthy place to have the conversation in a in a
way that's going to end well. And so if you already have that
drama, I just don't want to continue to feed into it, you
know what I mean? Like it's just like one of those
things where I'm just like, I'm not giving it any energy and it
and any attention unless I see that there's like some sort of,

(01:37:38):
you know, cuz there's been situations in the past where,
you know, something happened four or five years ago.
And then I'll see someone at a convention or I'll see, you
know, something online and somehow I get caught up into a
conversation and then we'll talkabout something.
And nine times out of 10, like you said, you don't even
remember what you're beefing about.
You know, there's people that have beefs with me and I'm like,
I don't even fucking remember what happened.

(01:37:59):
That's how much this really plagued me.
Like, you know, I just get to a point where I'm just like, look,
we don't fuck with each other. Cool, keep it pushing.
It's like an old relationship. I'm not feeling in for anybody
from my past. I don't, I don't.
In fact, I'm going to do an entire podcast series about
people being friends after they break up because I think that's

(01:38:22):
so weird. Like once we've decided we are
not going to unless we were really good friends beforehand,
which is often not the case. I think it's weird to remain
friends with your exes because when you get into a new
relationship, you know what I mean?
Like that person's like, why areyou still talking to blow Joe

(01:38:42):
the ex? Like, I don't get it.
So for me, it's like, I can wishyou well, but that doesn't mean
that I need to like be in your life or you need to be in mind.
So anyways, I say all that to say that like we don't have to
be in each other's lives anymore.
And if we're, and This is why I'm now very careful about who I
consider friends or the collaborations or even just like

(01:39:06):
being careful because this is myworkspace.
And so when it comes to personalfriendships and relationships,
those don't mix with business very well because when people
want to break up, they want to destroy people's businesses, you
know what I mean? Oh yeah.
And I'm not coming for your income sources.
I'm not stopping you from makingmoney.

(01:39:28):
I'm not, I'm not that kind of like when people call me a
hater, they, you know, they, they want to villainize me.
I'm like, listen, I'm not stopping you from doing what you
do, period. I'm not telling Cam companies
not to let you go live. I'm not going to producers and
telling them not to shoot you. I'm not getting involved in
stopping you from making your money.

(01:39:48):
Contrary to popular belief, I really am not because I don't
want you to do that shit to me. You know what I'm saying?
Like I don't want you to stop mefrom making my money.
So. Fuck, I didn't know.
I guess the bigger you get, the more fucking beef comes with it
because like, sounds like so much fucking drama.

(01:40:10):
There's that. It's.
Like a Snoop Dogg fucking song. So much drama also.
The more people, the more peoplethat you bring around you, the
more you put yourself at risk ofsituations going left.
You know what I mean? Like, and for me, I'm a person
who likes to build community. I like to help other people find

(01:40:33):
their confidence. I like to see people find their
success. And with that, which is why I
heart bbw.com was built in the 1st place.
It was built to help BBWS be seen in places like Exotica and
ABN and just different spaces inthe adult entertainment industry

(01:40:54):
that have for a very long time ignored and not provided a space
for BBWS. And there's a common
misconception for people in the industry that they have to.
They do not. Nobody has to hire you.
Nobody has to give you an award.Nobody has to do anything.

(01:41:17):
It is earned, but you earn it bybuilding a community and letting
people see that, you know, we are more powerful in numbers,
which is why I did I heart BBW in the 1st place is like, yeah,
I can do stuff but my career is pretty much over.
You know what I mean? Like I've been in this 21,
almost 21 years like I'm good. So the idea was that I would

(01:41:37):
create this community or build this community and we would
build it together. And it's been very effective
because now there's the curvy BBW fashion show at Exotica and
there's Boost spaces and like you're seeing more BBW presence
on a professional basis at theseshows.

(01:41:59):
And that was the goal. That's always been the goal is
to like set up the foundation and whether we were doing it
together or you started, you know, taking from the things
that we were doing and then doing something on your own.
The fact of the matter is I wantthere to be, you know, an entire

(01:42:19):
BBW section at Exotica or ABN orX Biz or wherever, you know what
I mean? Like I just want there to be
more BBW representation. And now I'm starting to reach
out to a broader audience because I feel like I've kind of
boxed myself into BBW. And while I will always have a

(01:42:40):
place in my heart and a passion for the BBW community, I think
that there's like me being middle-aged, that's another
group of people that are highly ignored and unrecognized in our
industry. And I want them to because, you
know, we have our own set of problems like perimenopause and
menopause. And, you know, being in an

(01:43:01):
industry where we are showcasingour bodies and using our bodies
as our tools to make money, whenyou're going through hot flashes
and all the stuff that happens in menopause and perimenopause,
like no one's talking about that.
No one's talking about how, you know, you're just trying to
function and you wake up. And it's one of those days where

(01:43:23):
you're just like, fuck, you know?
And, and people are like, oh, she was horrible on set.
Like, motherfucker, do you know what I'm going through inside?
You know? So I think that's just, I, I
think I have a purpose in this world.
And that's what I learned last year is, you know, I, I'm trying
not to take things personal and not let things hurt my feelings.

(01:43:47):
But I'm human and I'm a woman, so it happens, you know, and
menopausal, perimenopausal or menopausal, whatever.
I don't even know what stage I'mat.
But you know, things hurt. My fucking feelings.
Sometimes they wake up and I just cry for no reason.
And I, I'm like, dude, my whole life I was not a crier.
And now all of a sudden I'm likewatching TMZ and they're talking

(01:44:08):
about Justin Bieber. And I'm like, oh.
God, poor Justin, you know, and people are crying.
My husband's like what the fuck?Are you OK?
And he thinks something's wrong with me.
And I'm like, I don't even know why I'm crying, you know?
Sounds horrible. I mean, it's life.

(01:44:29):
Though. Right, Yeah, but I know your, I
know what your problem is. What is it?
Your problem is you're trying. You're trying to help people and
for some reason, like, I don't know, it's it people fucking
other people like take not take offense, but like are maybe

(01:44:49):
threatened by it or like, I don't know, 'cause you, you know
what I mean? Like does that, that seems to be
like, I mean, I don't know you or anything, but that seems to
be like, you know, like you're fucking like you always hear
like, you know, like people thatare trying to like do good or
help people or shit like that. There's fucking people that are

(01:45:10):
angry about that, like really angry.
Why? I don't know but.
I can tell you what it is. Shitty people don't know why
people do good things because they're shitty.
It's hard for them to wrap theirhead around that.
You could be wanting to do good things for people because
they're shitty and they know that they approach things from a

(01:45:32):
selfish and manipulative way. So anybody who thinks that,
like, I feel like there's a lot of things out there that are
wonderful resources and you know, someone's out there trying
to do good things by all means. And some of those people have

(01:45:55):
made mistakes. You know what I mean?
Like I from my experience, I cannow say, you know, there's a
couple of people that I've had some issues with in the past
that since then look like they're doing much better.
They're making better choices, they're treating people better
and they are trying to do thingsin the community that I'm like,

(01:46:16):
OK, OK, I get it. Did they once make some very
poor decisions? Absolutely.
Did I disagree with them on a lot of things at one time?
Yes, I did. But the other part of that is
that I'm also not trying to likestop them from doing what
they're doing, you know, people and, and it's a really tough
space to be in because of the intimacy of what we do.

(01:46:41):
You know, like one of the big issues is consent and, you know,
being on a set where sex is taking place or being in a, in
an environment, a hyper sexual environment where you're
collaborating with someone or you're even on Cam.
It's a, it's a very sensitive space because you are in
someone's sexual intimate space.And so it's, it's things can

(01:47:04):
take a turn without you even realizing it.
And I think that it it, it's an added element to our industry
that a lot of people don't take into consideration, especially
going to conventions where, you know, everyone thinks that just
because titties are out or people are pretty much naked,
that it's OK to go and slap somebooties or it's OK to just grab

(01:47:28):
someone's titties, or it's OK tojust put your arm around them.
And it's like, no, you still need to ask for consent.
Just because we're in a hyper sexual environment doesn't mean
it's OK for you to just do what you want to do.
And I'm supposed to be OK with it and smile and act like we're
having a good time. While some people may be OK with
that, and that's totally at their discretion, there are

(01:47:48):
other people, it is not OK. And so it does.
Freely. Oh my gosh, go.
If you've never been to a, a, a convention or avian convention,
and sadly it happens even with other women, you know, it's just

(01:48:09):
like, think of it like this. Think of it like adult Chuck E
Cheese. When kids get into Chuck E
Cheese, they just go fucking crazy, right?
They jump on each other in the ball pit.
They don't listen to what anybody's telling them to do
because they're at fucking ChuckE Cheese, right?
They're just off the fucking chain and, and unhinged.
Think of it for adults in a hypersexual environment.

(01:48:31):
That's basically what happens now.
It's not that extreme always. So I'm just kind of giving,
building it up so that you understand the environment and
how kids, when they get to ChuckE Cheese, they're not there to
listen to their parents because oftentimes their parents take
them because Chuck E Cheese babysits them.
And parents can be parents with other parents.
And the kids just go do what they do.

(01:48:52):
And until somebody cries or comes and says so and so hit so
and so or something happened, the parents are oblivious to
what's happening. So the kids can do whatever the
fuck they want to do in this, you know, child space.
So you think of that as at theseadult Expos.
And so the patrons that come in are overwhelmed with so much

(01:49:18):
access to the things that they've seen on the Internet to
the people that they've been add, you know, admiring on the
Internet or, you know, daily masturbating to or whatever it
is that they do. And now they get to be in the
presence of these people and they, they forget that we're
humans and they for, you know, because even in our own industry

(01:49:43):
with other performers, I've had to be like, yo, like, you know,
there's, there's been times where, you know, male performers
will pick up other models and hug them and kiss them on the
cheek and do all these things. And I'm like, that might be cool
for them, but I'm not OK with that.
It makes me highly uncomfortable.
I don't even know you. And for whatever reason, you

(01:50:06):
know, and I get it, some of these people, they're cool off
camera and, you know, but just because she's OK with it doesn't
mean that I'm OK with it, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah. Definitely.
First of all, don't pick me up because I'm old and my bladder
is weak so I may pee on you warning.
But second of all, I, I don't feel comfortable with that

(01:50:27):
because, you know, that's not mylife anymore.
Like maybe before I met my partner, I was cool with it.
You know, I didn't mind, you know, being flirtatious at the
shows. But you know, my life has
changed since then. And there's somebody in the
background who got a problem with it and, you know, and it

(01:50:48):
makes me uncomfortable because Iknow that it makes him
uncomfortable. So it's like, you know, respect.
So anyways, you're. Like fuck.
Has it been two hours? Already Oh shit, it has whoops,
all right, real quick, but we're.
Good. We can still talk.
You can have me. For.
As long as you want. Well, I was curious because you

(01:51:10):
said you're going to Exotica Chicago.
Yeah. What?
Tomorrow. No, that's next week.
Next week. Next week.
Sorry, yeah. The 11th through the 13th.
All right, so you're going to begetting the fucking boundaries
are going to be crossed. No, I think with me all.
People know. I don't think that they know.

(01:51:31):
I think that I don't know. I just kind of avoid though I, I
try to avoid those situations. I have since, you know, been
very adamant about like, you know, I've got a partner, like,
you know, I don't know, it couldhappen.
I'll let you know. We can do a follow up.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

(01:51:54):
Interview. Yeah, yeah.
Plus I I got, I got a lot of fucking.
I got so many more questions, but yeah, 'cause I got no.
Keep asking. I'm here.
You gotta. Go.
Yeah, yeah. See, I should have told you what
time it was. Can't thank thank you.
I appreciate it. I know I fucking I wasn't paying
attention man. You got so many fucking like God

(01:52:17):
damn like. I've got so many stories and so
much to share. So interesting 01 thing I I do
want to ask is like, 'cause I like like you got so much going
on. Yep.
So much going on now you're fucking podcast cause like is it
on Twitter or 'cause I was trying, 'cause I was watching it

(01:52:38):
on Twitter and every like where's your show at?
So it's on YouTube predominantly.
It is on YouTube. So it's really kind of
dysfunctional right now and chaotic.
I really haven't. I've been entering back into,
you know, like I said, 2024 was a year of healing for me.
So I was very minimal on social media.

(01:53:00):
I didn't do anything podcast wise or I heart BBW throughout
2024 for the most part. So things are I'm still trying
to like figure out what how I want to do this because I have
to do it differently. I know that I have to do it
differently because the way thatI did things before clearly was
ineffective and caused a lot of problems that I don't want to

(01:53:23):
repeat. You know what I mean?
For a variety of reasons. 1, youknow, obviously it's
unsuccessful. Who wants to keep making the
same mistake twice? Secondly, I realized that, you
know, the decisions that I was making in my lack of leadership
led to some problems. And so I want to make sure that
I go about things better this time.

(01:53:44):
So as I navigate that space, I'mstill trying to create content
and keep the podcast alive. So I do Witchy Wednesdays at
10:00 PM on Eastern on YouTube, but it also goes out to Facebook
and Twitter because I'm on restream too.
So it goes out to other platforms at the same time, but
predominantly my my community ison I I'm trying to build on

(01:54:05):
YouTube, but I'm also going to take that and put it on Spotify
so that there is an audio version on Spotify as well.
I'm also working on my podcast Midlife Mentor.
And essentially I'm going to be talking about my life experience
as a midlife woman, the midlife plus size woman and a midlife

(01:54:26):
plus size woman as a sex worker.So.
That's what I want to hear aboutbecause that's fucking that's, I
mean, shit, especially you've been doing it for so long and
everything like it's so interesting.
It is interesting. You've you've seen it all from

(01:54:47):
the beginning to like, you know.I love what I do.
Like, that's the thing. Like when people are like God,
she'll never go away. I have a passion for what I do.
I, and I've created a, a life for myself and a, a, a business
that, you know, the things that I'm working on are solely

(01:55:08):
designed to share my story because maybe there's somebody
out there who, who's experiencing something similar
and doesn't feel supported or, you know, has questions like
that's really why I do it for the other performers.
Like I'm not doing it for them. I would like to help other
performers. That's why I've done the

(01:55:29):
coaching in the consultation andthe mentorships is, you know, I
want to help you build your business and, and let you reach
levels of success because like Iwas saying before, I want to
build this community and, and besupportive from the background.
I would love for somebody like my idea from iheartbbw.com
before was that I was going to build it up and then somebody

(01:55:50):
was going to become the face of the of the community or multiple
people could have became the face of the community.
And I was going to fall to the background and just be somebody
who did the administrative work and kept the website up and was
looking for more opportunities for BBWS.
But I really wanted to just kindof fall to the background.
Unfortunately, what happens is when you're doing things like
this, somebody has to be the face.

(01:56:12):
And it's easier for me to be theface because then I can use my
own content. I can create content, I can do
all those things and no one's going to tell me you got to take
that down because I don't authorize for you to use it
anymore. You know what I'm saying?
So it's easier for me to just doit.
And then not only that, but I can rely on myself if I ask
somebody else to do it, you know, it's not always a reliable

(01:56:35):
situation. They, you know, may not feel
like they want to continue to doit because they don't think that
they're getting anything out of it.
So, you know, my goal is to create the throne or, or to not
create the throne, but to like give up the throne so somebody
else can take that shit and be the next queen of BBWI would

(01:56:56):
love that. I would even be like, yo, take
the domains, take the whole fucking brand and be the queen
of BBW and I just be, you know, the midlife mentor.
That's my goals that that's whatI wanted.
But, you know, unfortunately my interpersonal skills are not as

(01:57:16):
sharp. Like, let's just be real when it
comes to working with people. Like I just, you know, I'm an
Aquarius, so hey, me too. Yeah.
When's your birthday? February 16th.
I'm February 1st. 1st. I'm the first of the month, so

(01:57:39):
grab your checks and come on. Baby.
So yeah, I I honestly I that's that's always been my goal.
I have I heart BBW magazine. The 4th issue is coming out
matter of fact, next week at Chicago Exotica.
I've got the curvy BBW fashion show.
So if you are any size, I know that the title says curvy BBW.

(01:58:03):
That is so that BBW's can get some recognition, but we are
not. I am not size discriminatory.
So I've had people that are not technically BBW.
I'm not. I don't have a scale at the
stage and make you get on that bitch and say you can get on the
stage and you know, I don't care.
I don't care if you're trans, I don't care if you're gay.

(01:58:25):
I don't care how you identify. I don't care about any of that
shit. All people deserve recognition
and all people deserve to make it on stage with us.
And so if you are interested, please reach out to me.
I feel like the world is discriminatory and hateful and
mean already. This is just AI.
Don't care if you're in a fucking wheelchair.

(01:58:47):
Get on that bitch. You can be on stilts and cripple
or or or or what they call them things.
I want to say. Stilts, crutches.
Crutches. I'm trying to think of crutches.
I. Don't give a fuck, you know what
I'm saying? And I feel like beauty is, is
one of those things that, you know, beauty is not something

(01:59:11):
that has like 1 description, it doesn't have one definition.
So I just want to say that the world is a new place.
So I, I'm trying to create opportunities and recognition
for people of all spaces. So there you go.

(01:59:33):
That's fucking. That's the magazine.
I've got the website we've got our YouTube channel I heart BBW
you can follow us on social media.
I heart BBWCOM we're on everything on TikTok it's I
heart BBWCO M3 so join the. Description So.
Yeah, links are in the description.

(01:59:54):
Definitely. We fucking got to check.
Yeah, you got to check her shit out.
She cuz when I was fucking like checking your shit out and
everything like it, it was like a fucking rabbit hole.
Because you you do so much. I was like, whoa, wait a minute.
Wait. OK.
All right, here's irbbw.com. OK.
All right, wait. What's this?
OK, Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this?

(02:00:16):
What? Wait.
Wait a minute. Like you're just like, yeah,
I'll lower the place I was. Like what the fuck?
I've got fan club University, I've got, I've got youdo.com,
I've got all kinds of stuff. Yeah, it's fucking great, man.
I've got BBW Pedia I'm working on.

(02:00:38):
So it's basically the Wikipedia of BBW content creators.
I was going to make it adult entertainment, but I feel like,
you know, I really want to breakthe wall between adult
entertainers and content creators because I think that
to, to categorize it is really unfair.
But you know, we'll see how thatworks.

(02:01:01):
A lot of people are like, oh, you got a only fan?
I don't want to be associated with you.
Like then don't 'cause I'm just monetizing my content, that's
all. The fuck people.
People are fucking weird man. Just so.
Much they are weird. I.

(02:01:22):
Personally, I mean, I can't really say what I would be like,
what I would have been like before the industry and maybe I
felt some kind of way too, who knows?
But for many people, their storyin adult entertainment is very
dark and not everybody has a positive experience.

(02:01:44):
For me, it saved my life, it saved my career.
I haven't had to work for a company in 21 years.
So, you know, and that's that's what I want to share with people
is like, your story is what you write for it.
And they're going to be things that you can't control.
There's going to be things that you can't predict.

(02:02:04):
Life is going to life you it's going to happen, but it's not.
You know, it's like even with the drama that I experienced,
like that's not what I want my story to be about.
I don't want it to be about the drama and the beef and the
situations that I've had with people.
What I wanted to be about is that I could have easily faded
to the background and succumb tomy fears and been like, how do I

(02:02:26):
re enter this space after all the things that happened?
And instead I said fuck that shit.
I'm coming back. I work too fucking hard to just
walk away. And that's what I want my story
and my legacy to be about is that you too can come back from
whatever it is. Hopefully, you know, some things

(02:02:46):
are pretty serious, but I'm saying like, you know, mental
health issues, we all go throughthem.
I have dark days, I have light days, you know what I mean?
And that's what I want my story to be about is that you can do
it. You can do it.
I was 30 years old when I entered into this industry.
I was not young. And you know, I, I was, I was a

(02:03:07):
middle-aged woman already, so tospeak, you know, so I want my
story to be about survival and about strength and, you know,
successes. But through those successes, I
had a lot of failures. And you know, you can do it.
You can do it if you put your mind to it and you believe in
yourself. And you just get back up and you

(02:03:29):
dust your knees off and you get the dirt off and, you know,
reapproach, re strategize, rebrand, do what you got to do.
And you come back and you do it again and you might fall and
fail, but you, you get back up and you, you figure out what you
did wrong and you do it again. And you just keep doing that
until you find what works for you.
And sometimes when it comes to camming, you got to find your

(02:03:50):
niche. You got to find your what makes
you different than everyone else.
You got to find what your fans are looking for from you that
you feel comfortable with. And let that be your story and
your legacy. And don't let anybody else tell
the story for you. Don't let them create the
narrative and let everybody believe what other people say,

(02:04:13):
because only you can tell your story.
I'm not even Cam girl and you'refucking like hyping Mia like I'm
getting fucked hyped to do my other shit like.
But that's what I, I feel like that's what I'm here for.
I feel like, you know, when I, when I was going through this,
this period of who the fuck am Iand why am I here and why do I

(02:04:35):
care about the adult industry? Like for me, I realized that
they don't the entertainment industry.
I had let my persona platinum pussy took over and Carrie was
nowhere to be seen. You know what I mean?
I wasn't even being authentic because Platinum Pussy had took
over and Platinum Pussy is more ambitious than Carrie.

(02:04:55):
And so I had to really find somebalance last year and be like,
Nah, that's not, that's not really what I'm trying to do.
And you know, Carrie had to put Platinum in check.
Like yo, bitch, sit the fuck back, sit down.
Like that's not, that's not partof what we're trying to do.
So I hear you, I see you, I recognize you, but bitch, shut

(02:05:17):
the fuck up and sit the fuck down.
And that's hard to do because you know, it, it's like you see
all these stories about people that get into Hollywood.
You know, they get so addicted to the fame, they get so
addicted to the, to the things that, you know, like being
popular and you know, all of that.
Like they get addicted to those things.
And I feel like my platinum persona really got consumed

(02:05:43):
with, you know, reaching the top.
And even though I was proud of the fact that I wasn't really
stepping on people to get to thetop, there were other things
that I said and did that weren'texactly the healthiest and the
most effective and they weren't the best.
SO Carrie had to step in and be like, Nah, bitch, we've worked
too hard to get here and you areoff track.

(02:06:05):
So that's where I'm at now is like, I want to hype people up.
I want people to realize that there are bad things that happen
in the world. There's bad things that happen
in this industry, but there's also some really great things.
I'm able to work outside of thisindustry because I learned
social media, because I learned websites, because I learned how

(02:06:26):
to video, because I learned how to edit, because I learned
social media management, becauseI learned digital marketing.
Like all of the things that I learned through the adult
industry have given me the skills and the ability to work
as an entrepreneur outside of the adult entertainment
industry. When you start like wrapping
your head around, I'm not just asex worker and you really see

(02:06:50):
the potential and you realize, like what a badass person you
are, that's what I want to do. I want to hype you up and make
you, you like, just really see what you're capable of.
So I don't know what you got to do next, but you're going to
kill that shit. I hope everyone takes that and

(02:07:11):
like fucking here's what you just said because that's, that's
really well said. Thank you.
And it fucking hyped me up. So if it's not hyping anyone
else up, I don't know, they better fucking listen to what
you just said because it's hyping me up.
I mean, you know. I'm ready fucking.
I'm not for everybody. I get it.

(02:07:31):
I get it. My sheer existence pisses people
off sometimes, but it is what itis.
That's the you problem, not a meproblem.
So. Well, like.
Do what? Hey, like Easy said, I say fuck
them. You know.
Leave it at that. That's definitely from the word,

(02:07:52):
the words of of a wisdom or wiseperson.
Yes, fuck them. Like I'm not, I can't live for
everyone else. It's like, you know, I'm a Gen.
Xer and we live in times where people are ultra sensitive.
They feel the need to like pigeonhole everything and
everything needs to have a diagnosis and everything needs

(02:08:13):
to be categorized. And I'm just like, I'm from Gen.
X. You just said what the fuck you
said and you just kept it pushing.
So people now are pretty sensitive.
But you know what, like you said, fuck them.
I can't. I, I do my best to be as to
deliver the information and to deliver the knowledge in a way

(02:08:36):
that's understanding to most. But I'm sure there's people out
there that you know and but likeyou said.
Do not have an open mind. They don't have an open mind.
That's it. Like just open your mind up to
shit like you're not like, you know, like you said earlier,
we're not perfect. We don't fucking know
everything. Like I, I always like, I don't

(02:08:58):
like, you know, like you see stupid people, like you know, a
stupid person when you see a stupid person or hear a stupid
person, but like, you know, it'dbe like all right, whatever with
that, but like, I don't fucking know everything.
I don't fuck. Like I love information.
I love learning things like justopen your mind to shit, you know
what I mean? Like you might fucking, you
know, like you might just hear, like hearing what you just said,

(02:09:21):
like that fucking like hyped me up to do some other shit and you
know, so I want to fucking do it, you know?
I'm going to say this after the things that I went through over
the the course of the last few years, it was not easy to re
enter into this space. It was very difficult.
It's hard when you know that people are talking shit.

(02:09:41):
You know it's hard when you hurtpeople.
You know it's hard when you haveto face your your fuck ups.
You know, it's like going to someone like, it's like going to
your partner after you cheated and having that conversation
where the partners going to tellyou how that you know, like, you
know, they're going to tell you that you fucked up.
You know, they're going to tell you how much it hurt them.
It's not an easy conversation tohave.

(02:10:03):
So I, I'm sharing this with you because it's not easy to come
back and face what, what could possibly, you know, and, and
there have been things that havebeen said online that I'm just
like, whatever, you know, because I feel like this.
The point of why I'm saying thisis that you can either approach
things from a a point of positivity where you're trying

(02:10:25):
to like, fix something, or you can.
You're either a part of the problem or you're a part of the
solution. If you're perpetually talking
about negative things or you're approaching things from a
negative perspective, then you can't expect positive results.
You just can't. It's like continuously pouring

(02:10:46):
oil into water and expecting to have, you know, crystal
Clearwater, like it's not going to happen.
But if you go into that and you do your best to put positive
water into the cup, then the likeliness that oil will be in
there is a lot less likely because you're trying to be
positive. And that's basically the message
that I'm sending is like, it's not easy.

(02:11:07):
It's, you know, I'm totally anxious about going to Chicago.
I know that there are people there that I'm not looking
forward to seeing. But at the same time, you know,
I'm a, I'm a badass bitch and I refuse to be silenced.
I refuse to let anybody steal mylight.
And I'm just going to keep shining because I know that

(02:11:29):
internally I have good intentions and I know that I
mean to do well. And even though sometimes it
doesn't always come across the right way or it gets mixed up in
other things, then you know, I'mjust going to learn from my
mistakes and do better going forward.
So that's the that's the point. So get hyped up, get your ass on
Cam. Do what you got to do, make your

(02:11:49):
movie, whatever project you're working on, do it and at least
you could say you tried. At least you could say you
tried. And that's what's happening now
is like, I may decide in a few weeks after all of these things
that, you know, I maybe this isn't for me anymore.
It could happen or I could be like, you know what I'm doing,
what I love to do and I'm helping.

(02:12:12):
Even if it's just one person outthere, I'm doing what I love to
do, and that's what's important.So with that being said, I'm
gonna let you go do whatever it is that you're doing because I
got some food waiting for me. And I don't know if you know,
but I like to eat. It might not be evident by just
looking at me, but I love to eatand so and I've talked long

(02:12:36):
enough. Well, talk to.
Me on the Internet. Get your grub on.
Thanks for having me I. Appreciate it.
Absolutely. Thank you for being here.
This was great. Absolutely.
All right, we'll talk soon. Ah yes, Cam girl Diaries.
Yeah. Thanks for watching, be sure to
follow us on our social media below and if you like our

(02:12:59):
content, become a YouTube memberor join our Patreon to get
special perks like members only videos and live streams, insider
info, our private Discord, and much more.
See you fly honeys on the next video.

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