Navigating Parenting Challenges and Embracing Change with Erica Thomason from The Dynamic Child

In this episode of the Can We Start Over podcast, hosts Brit and Lindsey interview Erica Thomason from The Dynamic Child.
 
Before the interview, Britt and Lindsey catch up on the busy season they're in and say sorry to the listeners for going quiet for a few weeks. They won't ghost you again!

They love to hear from their listeners and encourage everyone to reach out on Instagram to connect. Send a DM with your big dream -- the way you want to start over in life! It's really fantastic to hear from y'all!

Then they get into a fantastic interview with Erica Thomason. 

Erica, a licensed professional counselor and early childhood educator, shares her wisdom and insights on parenting and offers practical tools and resources for navigating the challenges of raising children of all ages.

Key takeaways from the interview with Erica Thomason:

Parenting can be hard, and it's important to acknowledge and validate the struggles that come with it.

Erica emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and emotional regulation in parenting.

Understanding our triggers and learning how to respond rather than react can significantly improve our relationships with our children.

She encourages parents to trust their instincts and embrace their unique parenting style. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

Erica believes in the power of open communication and vulnerability.

Sharing our dreams, fears, and challenges can create a supportive community and help us feel seen and understood.

The Dynamic Child offers one-on-one parenting support and virtual consultations. Listeners of the Can We Start Over podcast can receive a 25% discount on sessions by mentioning the podcast during the inquiry process.
Learn more and Schedule your consultation HERE. 

Erica's work extends beyond just parenting and can be helpful for anyone who has relationships with children or other individuals.

She reminds us that we are all on unique journeys and deserve compassion and understanding.

To learn more about Erica Thomason and The Dynamic Child, visit their website here and follow them on Instagram @thedynamicchild and @erica_thomason.

Lindsey’s business rebrand is in full swing and to celebrate she’s offering her two most popular sessions at an amazing price if you book before November 18th.

Book a Somatic Release Session HERE - normally Priced $200 book now for only $125! YOU ARE THE ANSWER: Intuitive Somatic Session.

Book a Holographic Sound Session HERE — normally Priced $150 book now for only $97! Holographi

CONNECT WITH US!
We'd love to hear from you! What do you want to hear more about? What do you love? Have a topic request or a guest suggestion? Send us a DM on Instagram.

Britt's Photography
Somatic Healing with Lindsey

Instagram
@canwestartoverpod
@j.britt_robisheaux

We appreciate you.
And if you're new here, ifyou're a first time listener,
let us introduce ourselves.
We're a married couple who oneyear ago left our hometown of
Texas, the town, and went

Britt (00:36):
on a nine month In Texas, Texas.
It's like New York, New York.

Lindsey (00:40):
In Texas.
A little different.
No subway system.
Right.
We went traveling for ninemonths with our three kids, one
of whom was 18 months.
The other two, they're botheight years old.
Anyway, you get the idea.
We sold everything to start overand we had a great time.
We got really curious about howother people started over.
So we started talking to amazingpeople about their starting over

(01:01):
story.
And now you're listening to thepodcast.
That was birthed from that.
So welcome to our story, andthanks for being here.
Well,

Britt (01:11):
for all of you that have been here for a while, I'd like
to apologize.
We've been a little off schedulelately.
Sorry we ghosted you.
We ghosted you.
Sorry

Lindsey (01:19):
about that.
It's been a wonky few weeks.
What did we do?
Why was it wonk?

Britt (01:26):
Well, we had a few episodes batched out because we
had a trip going to Texas, goingback to get all of our stuff out
of storage.
Bring it back here to Californiaand we did that and we got back
and we changed schools for twoof our kids Third kids still
looking for a school.
So that's basically where we're

Lindsey (01:44):
at right now Yeah between that man it almost seems
like traveling is easier to makea podcast than you can go back
and we're like Rebuilding somekind of I'm saying this in air
quotes y'all Real life, becauseit's all real life, but now
we're just busy, we're in it,and it seems like there's less
time.

(02:05):
Do you feel like that's true?
I feel like that's true.
I don't know how we managed todo it all while we were
traveling, especially fromHawaii, Japan, Thailand,
Australia, but we were like,Cranking them out, cranking the
episodes out, and then now itfeels like we're back in some
kind of grind a little.
a little grindy to you?
It feels

Britt (02:25):
a little grindy, yeah.
I think part of it is there's adifferent unknown, like before
we were just traveling and weknew what we were doing, we were
traveling, and now we're not,and so the unknown now is how
we're rebuilding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like how we're starting over inwork and routine,

Lindsey (02:44):
school with the kids.
And that's when, like...
That's when you really can, uh,check yourself into like, oh,
this is just some old fearbecause I think it needs to be
one way or the other.
And it can't be that I can dowhat I, I can like, live life on
my terms and still work, youknow?

(03:05):
There's millions of people doingthat in the world right now, but
obviously, well, and also youcan, there can just be seasons
of busyness.
So I think there's not a wronganswer, but...
I think what's happening for meis these kind of old
conditioning patterns of like,what does it mean to, again,
y'all in air quotes, have a reallife versus this fantasy.

(03:29):
I guess that's the difference.
That's the condition part islike one part's a fantasy and
one part is reality and thatreally like makes them really
polar opposite.
Yeah,

Britt (03:39):
I definitely have to remind myself that there can be
There can be work without a

Lindsey (03:43):
grind.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Britt (03:46):
That I can slow my life down and concentrate a little
more rather than just putting myhead down and working, working,
working.

Lindsey (03:54):
Right, yeah.
And that, uh, you know what Ineed to remind myself of is
like, work is so many forms.
And it's very easy to be like,does this produce an income
right now?
Or are you...
Investing your time intosomething that's going to
produce income later and justweighing both of them, you know?

(04:19):
It's a wild

Britt (04:19):
little unknown universe we're swimming in right now.

Lindsey (04:22):
And always.
And always.
Because you never know what'sgoing to happen.
All, all, I mean, you can have,and there's another part, you
can like have every safety inplace.
You can have all the money inthe bank.
You can have all the jobsecurity you can have.
A house on a house on a house ina bunker or whatever and you
never know what's gonna happen,like you will get rocked.

(04:46):
Wow.

Britt (04:47):
That sounds scary.

Lindsey (04:50):
And you'll get rocked in amazing ways too.
Right, right, right, right.
Uh, like Queen.
What's that?
I don't get that.
I'm just saying like all thesafety and security that we
build as humans in our littlehuman show.
Like we do need safety andsecurity and it is important and
then sometimes it is, you justhave to be like, this is a game.

(05:12):
Yeah, it's true.
This is a game.
Yeah, and also what else ishappening?

Britt (05:18):
We're really enjoying the outdoors.
We're really spending a lot offamily time We go for hikes in
this riverbed with a swimminghole and take the dog out.
We go to the park with our kidsJust kind of enjoying family
right now

Lindsey (05:31):
Yeah, yeah.
And that, I mean, we, like, puton the brakes, you know, of
travel, so it's just different.
And there's so much to do and somuch beauty and so much fun all
right here.
We're just kind of packing itinto a busier package right now
before it was every day.

(05:52):
Yeah.
It was like, we wake up andwe're like, where are we going
to go today?
What are we going to see?
And now we're like.
Kind of back to like, it'sSunday.
I'm

Britt (06:00):
kind of feeling the urge to travel more.
Me too.
It's really creeping back in.
Yeah, me too.
We haven't talked about this toeach other.
To each other.

Lindsey (06:08):
Until just now.
So, where do you want to go?

Britt (06:11):
Mexico.
Take me back to Mexico.

Lindsey (06:15):
It is an amazing place, and we definitely will go back
there.
And, yeah, I feel the urge totravel too.
It's like, do you feel like it'san avoidance of something?
Or do you feel like it's atrue...
honoring of something.

Britt (06:30):
I don't know.
I guess I haven't thought of itlike that.
Maybe a little bit of both.

Lindsey (06:35):
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Maybe I should look a littledeeper into that.
Maybe.
Yeah, I kind of feel like it isan honoring.
I mean, there was never a timein my life where I didn't like a
big adventure, and I didn't liketo travel, and you have to know
when to take breaks, which wedid.
Honestly, I don't feel like I'mreally avoiding anything like

(06:56):
anything that's coming up with,you know, in the busyness and in
the wonky or whatever I'm like,I feel like I'm like looking at
it and like holding it up to thelight and being like, here's a
part of me.
Is this true?
And really, and moving throughit.
So I feel like I'm doing all thepieces, you know, and so, and
there's this change that seen,like, just in myself or the way

(07:21):
that I think or the way that Isee myself is, it is a lack, is,
like, not avoiding and being,like, really okay with whoever I
am.
You know what I mean?
Does that make sense?
Yeah, definitely.
Like, just being like, yeah, Iwant to travel again.
That's amazing.

(07:41):
And not being like, Oh, that'sbad or that's this or that
again, just like really puttingit in a polarity, but just
being, just being in love withmyself, it feels good.
It feels good to, to trustthat's even more, even say self
love or whatever.
And some people are like, no,not into it.

(08:03):
But just trusting whatever comesup as honest.

Britt (08:09):
I would like to ask everyone listening for a little
favor.
It's super easy to.
Can you just send us a littlemessage?
I just want to know who you are.
I can see numbers here when Ilook up and I see lots of people
are listening to the podcast.
But I want to put a face or aname with these numbers right
now.
And I feel like we're We'reputting out all of this

(08:30):
vulnerability and I just want toknow that it's being received.
So if, if you have a chance,just go on Instagram at can we
start over pod and just send usa little message.
It doesn't even, you don't evenhave to type anything, just type
hi, just so that we know you'rethere.
Or if you feel so inclined, tellpodcast.

(08:51):
Have we helped you in any way?
Have we hindered you in any way?

Lindsey (08:55):
Did we ruin your life?

Britt (08:58):
Is there something you want to hear about?
Tell us that.
We'd love to, uh, find a guestthat can explain whatever you

Lindsey (09:04):
want to know.
Yeah, and you know what I wantto hear from people is like,
well, how do you want to startover?
Yeah, what do you want to do?
Because we keep these littlethings secret for so long or
Something, you know, especiallythose like dreams that were like
and that'll never happen Likewhat if we just talked about it
more?
do you know what kind of worldwe would live in if we were like

(09:25):
openly saying Here's the thing Ireally want to do.
Like, here's the way I reallywant to start over.
Yeah.
I want to start walking on myhands everywhere.
Well,

Britt (09:34):
here's some homework for you.
I know I went from like, don'tdo much for me to like, now I'm
asking you for some homework.
Think about a way you want tostart over that you haven't told
anyone.

Lindsey (09:44):
And let us know.
Tell us.
And send it to us.
Yeah.
Because we are like rooting youon.
A million percent.
A hundred percent.
And.
A hundred million percent.
A hundred million.
A hundred.
Drop it down to a million.
a hundred.

Britt (09:57):
I haven't told anybody, but I want to go back to school.
Learn math.

Lindsey (10:03):
We are rooting for you a million percent.
And I think sometimes.
We have those.
That's another thing is like wehave these like big wild dreams
that maybe we don't even want totell our friends and maybe you
are a friend that's listening,but you can tell us because if
anyone is rooting for you, it'sus.
We want to believe in yourdream.

(10:23):
We want to hear about yourdream.
Or the thing you want to do, andwe want to believe in it,
because it helps remind us thatour shit's worth believing in.
So much better than gettingtogether to talk about gossip,
or to talk about TV, or to talkabout any of the boring things
that conversation can go to.
Let's talk about the thing youwant to do in life.

(10:46):
You know,

Britt (10:47):
speaking of that, I don't know if I'm going off on a
tangent here, but I recentlyrealized...
That in my old life before wemoved away when I was feeling
like stuck in a rut with workand just in my community I feel
like I was just talking shitabout everything all the time
And like I was filling spacelike with Hey, let's, let's talk

(11:11):
crap about work, or hey, thisband sucks, or look at that
stupid car.
And how negative, how terribleis all of that?
And I mean, I'm probably, I'mprobably exaggerating, but I was
focusing on negative thingsinstead of talking about the
weather.
You know what I'd like to hearright now?
I'm happy to hear somebody tellme about how nice it is outside.

(11:31):
You know what?
Because I was just looking forcontent, and somehow I felt like
talking crap about somethingwould...

Lindsey (11:38):
Would fill, well, let me walk you back off the ledge.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Because first of all, you'redefinitely exaggerating.
You didn't do that all the time.
No one would wanna hang out withyou if you did that all the
time.
Mm-Hmm.
Um, and you're always the lifeof the party.
You're super positive.
And that part of us, because weall do it, that part of us

(11:58):
that's like.
Let me rag on this in a I'm in aI'm being funny way, but really
I'm like looking for somethingIt's like that little 12 year
old kid part and we don't Wedon't get him on our team by
saying fuck you 12 year old kidnow You can't don't be negative.
We get him on our on ourinternal team by being like I

(12:20):
see you, I understand, you wantto rag on something, okay, come
on, we don't need to do thatright now, but like, come in,
come in, what, what are youfeeling?

Britt (12:28):
Whoa, you just recruited 12 year old Brit back into 41

Lindsey (12:31):
year old Brit.
That's like, that's how wereturn to wholeness, it's so,
it's so different than modelswere taught where it's like, cut
out the bad parts.
It's like plastic surgery onyour psyche or on your, your
being.
It's like, no, that part, hebelongs.
He just doesn't need to be inthe driver's seat.

(12:52):
12 year old Brit, you're welcomehere.
And 12, you know what, 12,stupid podcast, stupid lady.
How old are you?
You know what?
12 year old Brit, nevermind.
Go drink your Dr.
Pepper and listen to Megadethand get out of here.
Sounds nice.

(13:16):
There's only three things I wantto hear about.
One is the weather, two is howcold is that, Dr.
Pepper, three is what's yourfavorite Megadeth album?
I don't even know if Megadethhas an

Britt (13:25):
album.
Yeah, it's funny that you thinkI listened to Megadeth.
I

Lindsey (13:28):
don't actually think that, um, I don't actually think
anything.
It's just the first thing thatcame to mind.
It's good though.
You listen to Reverend HortonHeath.

Britt (13:38):
We turn that rockabilly

Lindsey (13:39):
effect back on the big bird you listen to the Big Bird
song when you're 12 the NixonsWe want to hear from you.
We love hearing from you.
We've gone on a deep tangent Ifyou're still here in your first
time listener, well, whoo.
Thank you so much We reallyappreciate you and we love you
even more.
We have an incredible guesttoday someone that has helped us

(14:00):
individually and as a team onour parenting journey for
several years now.
And when we started thispodcast, she was one of the
first names on the list of wehave to talk to her because I
know every single parent hasChallenges is hard out here for
a parent, y'all, and she has somuch wisdom and insight.

(14:23):
Today our guest is EricaThomason from The Dynamic Child.
Erica is a licensed professionalcounselor and an early childhood
educator.
And she has this way of makingyou feel seen as a parent,
giving you practical resourcesand tools to use, and then also,

(14:46):
like, just getting in there withyou and being like, it's hard,
you know, like, Understandingwhere you're coming from while
also showing you a way out.
She's so relatable.
So incredibly relatable.
Her level of compassion andempathy with the people that she
works with is, when she, whenI've worked with her, is just

(15:06):
incredible.
And we're so glad that she'shere today.
This is going to be a greatepisode for all of you parents,
or anyone who just regularlyinteracts with a kid.
Teachers, caregivers, everyonewho has some relationship with a
child that can cause a triggeror a spike or an emotion.

Britt (15:28):
I would go as far as to say, if you have a relationship
with any other human.

Lindsey (15:31):
That's actually true too, because really you can use
these tools for anyone.
We're all just big kids.
She

Britt (15:36):
says it in the, in the interview.
Yeah,

Lindsey (15:38):
she does.
Yeah.
Erica is.
a mother herself, she's apartner, and she manages her
business, working with otherpeople, so she knows how to work
with stress, with interpersonaldifficulties, and all of those
things that like leave usstretched beyond our physical

(15:58):
and emotional limit.
And she knows how to, just whenyou think you're gonna snap, she
knows how to bring you back andhelp you solve that and come
back into a state of emotionalregulation.
My relationship with the way Iparented and the, specifically

(16:19):
the guilt, and even more thanthat, a level of shame that I
had for like, when I was gettingparenting wrong.
completely transformed byworking with Erika.
I just can't stress it enough,the way that, that work of like,
coming to parenting with a levelof awareness.
That wasn't modeled to menecessarily when I was a kid.

(16:42):
It really was like a hugecornerstone turning point in my
life of feeling like I'm theperson I want to be and I'm
meant to be.
So like I mentioned, Erica'scompany, The Dynamic Child,
offers one on one parentingsupport.
Can We Start Over followers canreceive a 25 percent discount on

(17:03):
virtual parenting consultations.
All you have to do is go to herwebsite, thedynamicchild.
com, send them an email inquiryabout scheduling an appointment,
mention the podcast, and they'llget your session set up.
Also, make sure you follow themon Instagram, the dynamic child,
or Erica underscore Thomason foramazing parenting, real life

(17:28):
tips.
Before we get to our interviewwith Erica, I want to mention
that my business is in the midstof a big rebrand.
And...
And...
up level and a change.
And in honor of that, I'moffering somatic sessions and
sound healing sessions at anincredibly low price that you
won't see again.

(17:49):
You have to book before November18th, but I'm calling this the
self love sale, because I knowthat we all need.
To walk the healing path, torelease those blocks and
patterns that might be holdingyou back, and come into a space
of that wholeness, because the12 year old Brit needs to get on

(18:09):
board with the 41 year oldBrit's team.
We do that in somatic work.
You can do that in soundhealing.
All of these, the modalities ofbody centered healing and then
energetic healing, they work sowell together.
Remember, book before November18th to get an incredible deal
on either a somatic session or asound healing session.

(18:30):
You can find the link in theshow notes.
All right, now let's get to the

Britt (18:33):
show.
Let's

Lindsey (18:34):
do it.

Erica (18:38):
So I just, again, just loved following your journey and
just seeing how it's unfoldedand love watching you guys find
this place that feels reallygood to you right now.
I, I think that's just soamazing.
So happy

Lindsey (18:53):
for y'all.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
Yeah, it really is a testamentto like, it might not play out
the way you think and it can bebetter.

Erica (19:00):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Isn't that how, I think thatpart of the way the universe
works is my most favorite.
part of manifesting.
You just start off with thisidea of what you think it might
look like, and then the universetakes you in this direction
that's like greater and morethan and just beyond your
wildest imagination and beyondyour dreams, you know, and

(19:24):
that's just so fulfilling andincredible when you can like
step into your courage and, andtake those expansive, scary,
sometimes steps.
And on the other side of that isjust this incredible reward.
And so I'm living vicariouslythrough you guys watching y'all
do that and move through allthose steps and, and just claim
this massive reward.

(19:44):
And I just couldn't be happierfor you.
It's.
That's really an incrediblething to watch.
Thank

Lindsey (19:48):
you so much.
Yeah.
Oh, that feels so good.
So how does that relate to howyou've started

Erica (19:55):
over?
Well my starting over hasn'tbeen like a physical moving
locations kind of starting over,but I feel like the last three
years have been a massiveemotional starting over for me,
um, which all kind of.
The start of it was like kind ofa trickle effect starting in

(20:15):
2019 when I had my son.
No one really tells you aboutwhat a massive starting over it
is to introduce a child intoyour family.
Um, your relationship with yourpartner is a starting over, your
habits, your patterns, yourschedule, like all, all the
things, right.
Just kind of like throws all thechips up into the air and you're

(20:37):
figuring out where they're goingto land and what that looks
like.
Um, and then immediately afterthat, in 2019, my dad became ill
with stage four lung cancer.
Um, and that was a massivestarting over for me.
Um, the day before my 40thbirthday, he actually passed
away.
And right before he passed away,we just had the most beautiful

(20:59):
heart to heart.
conversation where he sharedwith me that he knew inside of
himself why he was so sick withcancer and it was because he
never knew how to express his,his real truth that he kept his
feelings in for so many years.
He never knew how to talk abouthow he felt, um, and that, that

(21:22):
energy that he stored inside ofhimself, he knew in that moment
that that was what had made himfeel so ill.
And he shared with me that oneof the things that he was most
proud of me for was watching myjourney through grad school and
becoming a therapist andlearning how to use my voice and
learning how to externalize myfeelings.
And he said that, um, he hadlearned so much from me through

(21:44):
that process.
And he was Sad that he wasn'tgoing to have more time to
explore that.
And he asked that I commit withhim in that moment to continue
learning how to use my voice inthe world.
And I think in that moment,that's when I pressed play on my
starting over saying to him,yes, dad, I, I fully commit to

(22:06):
that.
And that's something I reallywant to know more about.
And from there, it was just kindof like the universe was like.
Okay, you ready, girl?
Let's, let's get on this ride.
Let's do this.
And since then, it's just beennumerous steps in a direction of
learning to see myself in a newway and trying on new emotional

(22:28):
strategies and being honest withmyself, you know, radical
honesty, learning aboutintegrity, shifting a lot of
people pleasing tendencies, Ithink that I've learned along
the way.
And just also, even more, Ithink, and the, the biggest

(22:48):
lesson in my starting overexperience is just learning how
to have insane self compassionand coming back to, I think
that's a really big startingover point, is just.
forgiving yourself and lovingyourself and accepting yourself
and embracing all that is sothat you can harness what there
is to know from whatever lessonyou're facing and starting at

(23:12):
that square one and just movingforward.
That's, that's been a big partof my starting over.
Is that square?

Lindsey (23:19):
So beautifully put.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And self compassion is socrucial.
And I really worked with you onthat a lot.
I would, I want to talk aboutthat more, like parenting is so
hard, you know, or it can't, itcan be right.
A lot of us don't come equipped,you know, we're not like taught,
like, here's how you are asupportive parent and

(23:42):
compassionate to yourself,right?
How do you tell people, or howdo you guide people?
to that place of self compassionwhen they feel overwhelmed as
parents?
Yeah,

Erica (23:54):
that's a really good question.
As a clinician and as a human, Ithink there's just not really a
one size fits all answer forthat question.
So I just want to start off withthat caveat of like, it looks
different for every singleperson, right?
Britt?
May look different from forother people, right?

(24:15):
But and and the process in whichyou kind of move through that is
different for everyone.
Um, but at the base of it is Ithink being able to start over
and let go and let go of thoseideas that you thought.
The way you thought things mightgo and having space to allow

(24:37):
whatever it is that needs tocome in to come in, being
generous with yourself in thatway.
I think that's where my selfcompassion starts, um, is not
having a perfectionistic idea ofwhat should be.
I, I share with people all thetime that shitting on yourself
is rude and you shouldn'tfucking do that.
Sorry, maybe I shouldn't cuss,but you shouldn't do that.

(24:58):
It's really rude, right?
Like there's no way that thingsshould go.
So yeah, I think for a lot ofpeople it's, it's a practice
again of coming back to thatidea of there is just no one
way.
There's so many ways.
There are so many ways and Ithink for me when I can embrace
that, that's when I can bereally compassionate with

(25:18):
myself.
Usually when I'm being hard onmyself, it's because I have a
should in my mind of how I thinkthings would be better and I'm
missing the mark in some way,which usually turns out to be so
untrue.

Lindsey (25:32):
So untrue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, when you, when I thinkabout parenting and starting
over.
It can happen, there'sdefinitely a starting over when
you bring a baby or any, or achild into your life, and then
there's just this continuousopportunity because A baby is
different than a toddler, isdifferent than a young child, is

(25:54):
different than a teen.
You know, things we haven't evenexperienced yet.
Different than an adult.
Mm hmm.
Um, child.
Yeah.
Is that what it's called?
An adult.
Yeah.

Erica (26:03):
We all have a little child inside of us.
Right?
It's true.
Yeah.
We're just big people withlittle children inside of us.
Yeah.

Lindsey (26:12):
So, when, when someone has that feeling like...
Like, there's a barrier in therelationship, in like the parent
child relationship.
Where do they start?
Like, where do they start

Erica (26:26):
starting over?
Yeah, great question.
That's a great one.
I think that a really effectiveway of starting over at each one
of those milestones where thingsare shifting and changing and
you're noticing that therelationship is also shifting
and changing is.
To work towards making spaceavailable inside of yourself to

(26:47):
see what is it that your childreally needs.
What is it that your childreally needs in this moment?
How can you position yourself tobe the most effective shepherd
of this little soul that hascome to this planet and putting
your own Ego, needs, desires,expectations, visions for this

(27:12):
person aside and creating acontainer of space that is just
for them.
And that can be so incrediblydifficult and challenging
because this world has a lot ofideas and expectations for us as
parents and, and for ourchildren and the way that things
should be.
Again, whenever that word, thatshould word pops up, that's like

(27:33):
a flag to me for, okay, How canI pause here?
And go deeper.
What's underneath that should?
And just kind of questioningmyself there.
And from there, making myselfopen to.
The knowledge that whateverideas that I have starting off
may not be the right ones forthis, for my person, right?

(27:54):
And so, for me personally as amother, my mantra from the start
has been, how can I remain open?
and aware to what my littleperson's needs are, and how can
I most effectively shepherd himalong his path so that he can
explore in the ways that he iscurious while helping him to

(28:15):
remain safe.
It's kind of like, if I were togo on a safari in Africa, I
would want to guide there sothat I could explore the
terrain, but do it in a safeway, right?
Um, so I could see and do andexperience all the things that I
want to see and experience, butwith safety, right?
And so I kind of think of, thinkof that example as how I would

(28:35):
like to move through motherhoodwith my child.
And I, Share that with otherparents, again, because there's
no one size fits all, but howcan you make yourself available
in that moment using theexperience that you have, like
valuable experience that youhave, to help this terrain to be
safe for your child while theyexplore this wide, wide world of

(28:57):
possibility.

Lindsey (28:59):
Yeah, so perfectly put like we parent child like we are
doing this for a reason.
We're here together for areason.
So that's not a mistake.
So if there's like some bump,then we're supposed to work
through it.
And I say this all the time, butlike parenting.

(29:19):
Is the biggest shadow work tool,you know, because it will be
like, here's everything thatyou're hiding about yourself.

Erica (29:28):
You can no longer hide from me.
It's like pulled right

Lindsey (29:32):
up to the surface and, and then that's beautiful,
honestly, because you get theopportunity.
to say, okay, I can, I can lookat this stuff.
I can work through it and itdoesn't need to be scary.
Like it's just part of beinghuman.
It's a beautiful opportunity.

Erica (29:52):
100%.
My therapist gave me a questionjust the other day that I think
really fits in this moment is,In those moments of opportunity,
asking yourself, is thisdangerous or is this
vulnerability?
Because I think those two thingscan feel really similar,
especially in parenting, right?
Like, um, when those momentswhere you feel triggered come

(30:16):
up.
asking yourself, like, am I indanger?
Am I safe?
Or is, does this feel vulnerableto me?
And I think kids are really goodabout bringing up those super
deep vulnerable moments where itfeels dangerous.
Like it's hard to go there,right?
That pain can feel dangerous.
Um, but when you ask yourselfthat question and you realize

(30:38):
that it's just an emotionalvulnerability, then it kind of
helps to separate what's thepast stuff that's popping up for
you and what's really in thepresent moment.

Britt (30:47):
Thank you.
That really hits hard right now.
We've been having, um, a littlebit of a struggle with one of
our kids Acting out and howwe're reacting how we're showing
up for that.
So thanks for reminding me

Erica (31:02):
Absolutely.
I feel like that's what we'reall here to do for one another.
We're all born knowing we camehere knowing and Everybody
else's, you know, all the peoplein your life or in your field of
vision are just here to deliverlittle reminders to you Get you
back on the path, right?
You know, clarify your visionbecause you already know the

(31:22):
answers.
Sometimes we just get confusedand we just need a little tap on
the shoulder.
We just need a little handsqueeze, you know, a little hug.
Totally.
Get us back in the rightdirection.
So I'm glad I can give that toyou.

Lindsey (31:36):
Yeah.
Thank you.
We, I want to add, or I want youto ask Or say a little bit more
about what's happening with oneof our kids.
Is that okay?
Yeah, so

Britt (31:47):
one of our kids is having trouble hearing no for an answer
in certain instances.
And flipping the lid.

Lindsey (31:56):
Yeah.
Which we learned from

Britt (31:58):
you.
Which we learned from you.
And we're having trouble calminghim down, and I, I feel like I'm
being a little reactive too, andit's happening in public a lot,
which in the past usually it wasat home, uh, so I'm, I'm having,
I, I'm feeling thatvulnerability, I'm there in
public.

(32:18):
And he's just yelling, icecream, ice cream, ice cream, ice
cream.
And that's the only thing he cansay and scream it.
Yeah.
And, um, him like grabbing on tous, you know.
Yeah.
And, uh, that does feeltriggering.
So I have to constantly tellmyself, like, it's going to be
okay.
We're going to make it to thecar.
We're going to figure this out.
Yeah.
And then when I get throughthat, I'm like, how, what,

(32:40):
what's the real issue here?
It's not the ice cream, youknow.
What am I looking for?

Erica (32:46):
Yeah.

Lindsey (32:47):
Yeah.
And like what is he needing?
Yeah, what

Britt (32:50):
is he needing in that moment.
Yeah, not what am I looking for,what is he needing that I need
to give to him.
Yeah, yeah.
Or help him get.
Or like support.

Lindsey (32:58):
Support him, yeah.

Erica (33:01):
Britt, I just love how you so beautifully illustrated.
that scenario and illustratedhow you regulated yourself first
because nothing else mattersafter that.
There's not a thing that mattersafter that.
You said to yourself, it's okay.
I'm going to get through this.

(33:21):
This is tough.
He's freaking out, you know,like whatever is the actual
verbiage that went on in yourmind, but you first took care of
yourself because in order totake good care of your children,
you first, you first have to beregulated.
If you're dysregulated, theneveryone else is going to be
dysregulated too, right?
Um, so I, for, for parentsworking with their kids in these

(33:42):
kinds of situations, I justthink that there's nothing more
important than that because youas the guide are setting the
temperature, so to speak, of theinteraction.
I think of it like a thermostatin the room, right?
If you set your thermostat at 72degrees, then the room is going
to remain 72 degrees.
If it, if the temperatureincreases, then your air is

(34:05):
going to kick on and, you know,it's going to get everybody back
to 72 degrees.
And it's the same way as theleader of your family.
If you remain here, And they'reup here, they have no choice but
to come down to your level ifyou remain here.
Now, if you rise, then they'regoing to rise right with you,
right?
And the more you rise, the morethey rise.

(34:25):
But the more that you remainlike the steady, stable
temperature in the room, theycannot help but to come down to
you.
And that's exactly what you weredoing, Brit, in that moment when
you had that internal dialoguewith yourself.
We're keeping your temperaturecalm and steady, rather than
like popping off and reacting.
You took the time to keepyourself regulated, so then you

(34:48):
could make yourself available tohelp your child regulate.
Also.

Britt (34:53):
Thank you.
And it is, I have to say that itis a struggle and it doesn't
always

Erica (34:58):
turn out like that.
Because perfection does notexist in parenting.
That is another important thing.
I had another parenting experttell me one time that if you get
it right 30 percent of the time,that's your A plus, gold stars.
You're doing an excellent job atparenting because the, the job
is not to always have a perfectinteraction.

(35:18):
In fact, if you're doing thatwith your kids, you're setting
them up for failure in thefuture because life does not
work that way.
It's the 70 percent when thingsfall apart is when we're
actually learning.
And that, that's what we, that'swhat we want to do with our
kids, right?
We want to show them how tohandle these real life
situations that are bound tocome up, right?

(35:39):
We want to show them how toprocess through those challenges
so that when you're not withthem, In the parking lot or in
the grocery store or whatever,that they have this internal
dialogue inside of their mindbecause they've noticed and
watched and watched yourmodeling, they've watched the
way that you handle yourself inthose moments, and that then

(36:00):
becomes their own internaldialogue, their internal tape or
model for how they handle thosesimilar kinds of feelings in the
future, right?
So it's really the messy stuff.
is when the real work ishappening, like the real
important stuff is happening.
It's not when we're like kumbayaing and hugging and, you know,
sunshine, rainbows, andunicorns, right?

(36:23):
It's like when the stuff ishitting the fan and everybody's
freaking out.
Right?
That's when the real parentingis happening.
Absolutely.

Britt (36:33):
And can you give us a few tools we would use for a
situation

Erica (36:37):
like that?
Yeah, okay.
So we'll take the situation withthe ice cream.
I want the ice cream.
I want the ice cream.
First step first.
Inside, you're saying toyourself, how am I doing?
You know, you're like checkingon your internal regulation
first.
And so whatever tools there arethat you use in that moment for
regulating yourself, for me,it's always about breath.

(36:59):
Like, where's my breath rightnow, because the first thing
that changes for us when we havean emotional moment is our
breathing changes.
And that signals to our brainthat, you know, we're either
safe or we're not safe, right?
So I'm always checking in withmy breath.
I'm checking in, you know, andthis is like momentary stuff,
right?
It all happens so fast, but themore you practice it, the easier
it becomes to have thatawareness, right?

(37:20):
You guys know, cause you've beenpracticing this for a long time
yourselves, but it's just like,Noticing that where you are
internally first and naming thatfor yourself, right?
This is a hard situation.
I'm pissed.
I'm ready to, you know, justlike lose it, you know, and
sometimes it's enough just tosay that to yourself, right?
And then your internalthermometer can come down, you

(37:42):
know?
So taking that pause foryourself as a parent so that you
can respond rather than react toyour child.
Okay, and so just likevalidating yourself first, and
then the next step is validatingyour child.
Son, I get it.
I get that you really want thatice cream right now.
It's so hard to hear me tell youno.
I get that.

(38:03):
I know what that feels like,right?
And whatever ways that you canexpress to them that you
understand their feeling, eventhough you don't agree with him
falling out on the floor, Right?
Like, that's not what you want,but you want him to know that
you see, hear, feel, understandthe feeling that he's going
through in that moment, right,because their little nervous
systems don't always have thelanguage for identifying that

(38:27):
internal state that's happening,right, and the faster that a
child can receive it.
Coherent labels andidentification for what it is
that they're feeling and goingthrough is when their internal
thermostat can come down to.
So, for me, it's always aboutdoing the name it to tame it
thing.
Dr.
Daniel Siegel, you are anamazing person for coming up
with that.

(38:48):
Naming the internal emotion andgetting a coherent label for the
energy that's happening inside,almost 100 percent of the time,
helps a child to move throughthat emotion.
And even if they don't get thething that they want, even if
they don't get three scoops ofice cream in that moment,
they're able to move through tothe next thing and transition

(39:10):
because they can get a sense ofunderstanding of what's
happening inside of them andexpress that.
And then the feeling can diedown and they can.
move past it, move forward.
And then after that, we can talkabout the teaching stuff, right?
Like we don't fall out in thegrocery store.
We don't scream at each other.
We don't, you know, like theteachable stuff happens after
that, after they've come backdown and they're in their right

(39:33):
thinking minds.
And that's when we can use thosesituations, um, to teach them
what we want them to know aboutlife.

Britt (39:40):
And I can't overstate how much support we got from you
when we were starting over andhow much advice you gave to us.
We've mentioned it on previousepisodes before.
Could you explain a few tipsmaybe that you gave us, uh, in
starting over in a big changefor your

Erica (39:59):
whole family?
Yeah.
In the beginning stages, Ithink...
One of the most importantthings, and I think the thing
that you that we talked about alot together was having, um,
like a unified stance aspartners, right?
Understanding just between thetwo of you, what are your
values?
I think as a family is a really,really big, important piece

(40:24):
because each one of us asindividuals have our individual
values, but what are our valuescollectively as a family?
And when you can know reallyclearly what your values are and
have those very clearly definedfor yourselves, I think that
that makes it easy to come backto in a moment where you're
confused or you're not, you'reunsure of where to go next.

(40:45):
Does this align with my values?
And if not, then I'm going inthe right direction.
If yes, then what aligned stepscan I take to help my family
stay very close?
to those values, and I thinkfrom there it just makes
parenting decisions really clearand easy.

(41:06):
Easy ish, right?
Sometimes it can be challengingand hard, but it may, it gives
you a lot more clarity, um, andalignment when you know where
you want to go, and that helpsyou to map out how you get
there.

Britt (41:19):
Awesome.
Another thing that you reallyhelped us with was making sure
that the kids helped us make thedecisions.
Yes, collaboration.
We were always checking in withthem.
And that, that was like, soimportant for us.

Erica (41:31):
Yeah.
To me, um, I see children ashumans that came here like full
and complete.
And with all the range offeelings and ideas and thoughts
for their lives, and sometimes Ithink as adults we can forget
that and kind of bulldoze overthat and, and feel like because
we have so much more experiencethat, that really trumps

(41:53):
whatever they're thinking orfeeling.
And I just think it's so theopposite.
And when we can collaborate withour children, then that helps
them to be on board with us.
and to participate in thechanges that are happening and
the things that we need to seefrom them, they're more likely
to be a part of that and to becooperative and compliant.

(42:16):
I don't know if that's a greatword, but, um, they're more
likely to work together with usrather than working against us.
So instead of having to dragthem along behind us, they're
actually walking alongside usand we get to work as a team.
Um, so anytime we can ask kids,what do you think?
How do you feel?
How do you see this?
Any ideas for how we can do thisand just really asking them what

(42:38):
their ideas are.
Most of the time they come backwith like some fabulous things
that you're like, Oh, I'mdefinitely going to use that.
That's amazing, right?
And just letting them know that,again, every single brain on
this planet wants to feel seen,heard, and understood.
So even if it's the case thatyou don't use their ideas,

(42:59):
Usually, that doesn't matterwhen they know that you're
really hearing them, that you'rereally listening to them, and
that you really care about theirsuggestions and ideas and
thoughts and opinions, right?
And, and again, in thosemoments, it's, that's where
bonding and connection is born.
That

Lindsey (43:17):
reminds me of when we were, knew that we were like,
okay, I think we're, donetraveling because we were like,
we were feeling that, but thenwe could just tell that everyone
was feeling that, you know, whenwe like could have powered
through to be like, we're goingto do this really like Jack or
Eli being like, I don't reallywant to get on another plane and

(43:41):
listening to that and beinglike, that's actually valuable
information was so important,you know, to be like, it is our
decision and everyone is

Erica (43:51):
involved.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
And, and the fact that you'reable so, to so clearly
communicate that to yourchildren tells them that in the
future, when they come to youwith their thoughts and
feelings, that you are going tohear them and that you are going
to be able to work together withthem to help them make the next

(44:12):
best step.
Again, that's where trust isborn.
It's all these little micromoments of, I see you, I hear
you, I understand, and even if Idon't agree with you, we are
going to find a way to worktogether on this.
And that you are not alone inthis.
We are together in this.

Britt (44:32):
It's so valuable.

Lindsey (44:33):
Yeah, yeah, I was, we are trying a school and now
we're trying a new school orwe're going to switch to a new
school.
And in this process, just in thelast few weeks, like they don't
want to change just because it'sanother change.
You know what I mean?
Even though the place thatthey're at right now.

(44:54):
Isn't the best place for themand just to totally not be a
part of like what I used towould have done what it would
have done is said, this iswhat's happening like, you know,
I know and just to flip it allaround and be like, tell me what

(45:14):
you like about it.
Let's talk about what the otherplace has and then like, let's
remember a time when somethingsimilar happened.
And we did change and it endedup being better.
And having those conversationsand then they're like, oh.
Yeah.
And I'm like, Oh yeah, it helpsme also to be like, we've done
this before.
We've been here.

(45:35):
And it was great.
Yeah.
Like, and we knew what to do.
Yeah.

Erica (45:38):
Again, Lindsay, gosh, what an incredible example of
ways that you are intuitivelydeveloping your children's
emotional intelligence.
So often.
Adults think that emotionalintelligence or common sense is
common and that you just shouldknow, again, there's that damn
flag, right, that you shouldknow it, you should just get it,

(46:02):
but that's not how it happens.
Emotional intelligence isdeveloped, it's grown, it's
strengthened, just like IQintelligence, right?
But kids get it from watchingtheir most important caregivers
problem solve with them.
Right?
So in that moment, you weretaking it step by step with
them.
Remember when this happened,what did that feel like?

(46:24):
This is how this can apply tothis situation, right?
Like, those things are notalways intuitive.
Seeing how to actually thinkthrough a problem is how we gain
critical thought processingskills.
And what a beautiful way youwere able to illustrate and
model that with your children.
Here are the steps, and this ishow you can think through it.

(46:48):
So now they'll actually know thenext time they come up against a
problem of how to walk throughthose steps for themselves and
hopefully get to that.
Yeah.
Right?
And what they'll also know is,if I can't get through these
steps, I know someone that can.
So let me go find my mom.

(47:09):
Let me go find my dad.
That's a trusted source.

Lindsey (47:14):
Yeah.

Britt (47:15):
Awesome.
And that leads us to a questionthat I really wanted to make
sure that we get to before werun out of time.
How has becoming a parentinfluenced the way you work?

Erica (47:25):
Oh man, so many ways.
So many ways, y'all.
I thought I knew before I becamea parent.
I, I really had 20 years ofexperience in the field.
This is the thing that I'vealways wanted to do.
I, you know, started off as acaregiver in my teens and, you
know, just never stopped workingwith kids and families from,

(47:48):
from there on.
Um, and I really thought I knew.
I waited till I was 39 to havemy first Baby.
And, um, I just felt like I hadso much experience and knowledge
and, you know, just spoke fromthis place of just feeling
really secure in my knowledge.
And then I had my son and I waslike, I don't fucking know
anything.

(48:09):
It was like, the more I see, theless I know, right?
Like, and it just gave me thishumility, I think, um, and an
even deeper understanding.
I think before I thought I knewthat.
a formula of a way.
Um, and then after I had Shaw, Iwas like, there's no formula,

(48:30):
there is no one way.
And I think it really rooted meeven more in this belief that I
carry today, that there is justno one size fits all.
There are a million differentways to get to the same place
and all of those ways are valid.
All of those ways are beautiful.
Right?
And it just depends on whatworks for you.
And so I think that that'sreally the thing that changed

(48:50):
when I became a mother was justbeing comfortable in the, I
don't know, but let's find out.
Let's hold hands.
Let's walk through it.
Let's figure out what it lookslike for you because it looks
different for me than it doesfor you or you or you, right?
It's, it's, and that's thebeautiful thing about it is the
comparison game and parenting islike really a feudal.

(49:14):
thing.
And I just love to encourageparents in knowing that it is
beautiful your way.
Whatever way that unravels isbeautiful and it will be
different from your neighbor oryour best friend or your parents
or, right?
It's nice to be able to sit inthat place where you just know
that It's gonna look your way,and that's beautiful and

(49:37):
wonderful and so valuable, um,and that just kind of, at least
for me, gives me this likeinternal sense of peace that it
doesn't have to be a certainway, doesn't have to look a
certain way, and being open towhatever way that flows.

Lindsey (49:54):
Right.
And you mentioned intuition.
Um, and I just think that, well,maybe I released the first four
years of my parentingexperience.
Like I wasn't tapped into myintuition necessarily.
I mean, I was in some ways, butnow I have a way stronger sense
of it.
And so I think that's animportant part.

(50:16):
And intuition does lookdifferent for everyone, but just
like having a relationship withintuition and being able to
differentiate.
the how you said like fear,vulnerability, and then
intuition is like a third.
Yeah.
Because there might be some likereally real intuition.
It might have some confusion,but it doesn't necessarily for

(50:37):
me.
Like, have that fear.
Right.
That's normally when I'm like,oh, I'm actually just, my
nervous system is dysregulated.
That's not intuition.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, yeah.
So, like, how do you work withyour own intuition as a parent?

Erica (50:54):
I live in the place where I feel like every single emotion
that comes up for me aroundparenting is data.
It's data.
It's information.
Um, it's letting me know whatfeels good to me as a mom.
And what doesn't feel good.
Alright, um, and I continue tojust really work on developing

(51:15):
awareness of those micro momentsof emotions as they come up and
trying my best to just noticethe data that's coming up in my
body for me.
Because those are always signalsfor what's the next best step
for me and for my family.
And it's the moments when I kindof, like, don't pay attention to

(51:38):
those micro moments, that, thatdata and information just
continues to come up with moreand more intensity until I
decide to pay attention to it.
And so, I've just kind oflearned along the way that the
faster I can recognize that, thebetter off I am.
And, and kind of the, easier ormore smoothly, those next steps
can go when I, when I can hearthat information when it first

(52:02):
happens rather than when it hasto become an intense.

Lindsey (52:12):
Yeah, like let it be a whisper, not a wrecking ball,
hopefully.
And

Erica (52:16):
to your point, I do feel like when intuition comes up for
me, it's a very quietknowingness where I just feel
rooted.
I feel like it's not anargument.
It's, it's neutral, right?
It's not intense in, in, ineither of the ways.
It's not intensely exciting orhappy or, you know, and it's not
intensely fearful or sad orit's, it's very much in that

(52:40):
middle place of, this is it, youknow, it's kind of quiet.
It's kind of quiet.
And sometimes you can use thosereally quiet pieces, right?
Because they're so quiet.

Lindsey (52:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially if you haven'tcultivated.
Like the knowing with the otherpieces, like if you don't have a
relationship with your nervoussystem or with your thinking
mind, you know, if your thinkingmind is always kind of running
the show, then they'll be like,and now

Erica (53:09):
off to the right, exactly.
It can get really loud in there,right.
And busy, which again, brings meback to the importance of
breath.
I just.
Cannot overstate how importantthat is.
That's the first thing that wedo when we come into this world.
And the last thing that we dowhen we leave and having a
relationship with our breath isto have a relationship with your

(53:31):
nervous system is to have arelationship with your feelings
with the data that's going oninside of you and, um, coming
back to a regular, for me,coming back to a regular
practice of breath every singleday, just starts me off in
having that really goodconnection with myself and with

(53:52):
that wealth of information andknowledge that's there for me in
every single moment.
So yeah, I, I, I think.
having having that relationshipwith your breath really helps
you to just like tune into thatintuition tune into those
feelings as they're coming upand not miss those micro moments
of you know, emotion andinformation that's happening for

(54:14):
you all the time.
It's such a beautiful thing.

Britt (54:18):
Well, I, I suspected that we would probably want to do a
second interview with you afterthis and now it's become very
apparent that we have to.
Um, With that being said, canyou give the listeners a piece
of homework, just somethingsmall to work on before our next
interview?

Erica (54:38):
A piece of homework.
Okay.
One of my favorite pieces ofhomework is the seven breath
exercise.
So seven, one, one in and outbreath counts as one.
If you can do seven of those,that equals one minute and it
takes one minute.
To restart your nervous system.
So my, my offering to listenersis to practice.

(55:02):
Noticing your breath for sevenin and out breaths and noticing
how that changes your internalstatus with just seven mindful
breaths.
Ooh, that's

Britt (55:16):
exciting.
I'm gonna do that.

Lindsey (55:17):
Yeah, it's so simple.

Erica (55:19):
It's so simple and you can take it anywhere, right?
When we talk to parents aboutself care, self care, take care
of yourself, right?
So many parents are like, I havethree kids, four kids, when do I
have time for that?
Right?
But everyone has one minute.
Everyone has one minute.
Close your door in the bathroom,sit down on the toilet, take
your seven breaths, right, andjust notice how that changes

(55:41):
your approach to your children.
Notice how that, moreimportantly, changes your
approach with yourself, right?
Because that's always the placeto start.
When we are taking good care ofourselves, then we can have an
even wider bandwidth, everythingelse that we need to take care
of in our lives, right?
It always starts with us first.

Lindsey (56:03):
It takes it all the way back to that self compassion
piece.
All the

Erica (56:06):
way back to that, yes.
I mean, I feel like I'm a brokenrecord with this self care, self
care, self compassion, take careof yourself, but I, it's just,
to me, the place where we startand end.
If you are

Britt (56:19):
taking good.
Yeah.
I feel like that's been comingup a lot in, in all of our
episodes

Erica (56:23):
lately.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you are taking good care ofyourself, then you can show up
and be present for the otherpeople in your life.
If you are not doing well, ifyou are running low, then there
is no way that you can care.
Well, for other people, you justare running low.
Right?
Right.
It's like if we don't change theoil in our car, then the car's
gonna be broken down on the sideof the road.

(56:44):
Right.
There's a certain amount ofmaintenance required in driving
a car.
There is a certain amount ofmaintenance required in caring
for your human body.
And I think we forget about thata lot, right?
It's so easy to just sidestepthat.
And it's just.
It's kind of crazy when youthink about it, you know, we

(57:06):
have to care for ourselves wellso that we can show up and be
present in all the ways that wewant to be.
And so in that self care is theopposite of being selfish.
It is a necessity.
It is a non negotiable.

Lindsey (57:21):
And like, self care can be so simple and really and real
self care is so simple.
Again, we get, we can get soldthis like.
That self care means like goingto the spa every week, and for a
lot of people it can.
Sure.
And also can just be like, yousaid one minute, it could be
like, I'm going to get up 15minutes earlier.

(57:41):
Right.
Or once everyone's asleep in myhouse, I'm going to like take
30, 15, 30 minutes and like makethat part intentional and the
way we find those micro moments.
Right.
100%.
Because not everyone has ananny.
Not everyone has, and, andabsolutely everyone that has a
name, nanny.
Rock it.
Awesome.
Like do that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's awesome.

(58:02):
Yeah.
And if you don't, it doesn'tmean that you don't have
anything.
Right.
It means you weave it in.
Right.

Erica (58:09):
It means you're intentional with it.
Right?
It's the energy that you bringto the activity that you're
doing, no matter how big or howsmall, how inexpensive or
expensive, right?
It's not really about any ofthose.
pieces of it.
It's really about what is yourintention and and what, what are
you bringing into this moment ofcare, right?

(58:31):
Like any healthy self care thingcan be turned into a kind of a
negative, thing, right?
Like, exercising is healthy forus, unless you're exercising
with this mentality of like,internally beating yourself up,
right?
Um, so yeah, it's all aboutintention and it's all about
compassion, compassion foryourself, being kind to yourself

(58:54):
and treating yourself like youwould a newborn baby or a
toddler, right?
With that same love and care.
Because we're just big peoplewith tiny kids inside of us,
right?
That child never goes away.
And how can you meet yourself inthose same tender, loving ways
that you would someone that'svulnerable and small?

Lindsey (59:17):
So well put.
Yeah, we need to have anotherconversation that's just about
re parenting parents,

Erica (59:23):
you know?
Well, I am here for it.
Podcast number two.
Yeah, we'll

Lindsey (59:26):
do it.
Exactly, exactly.
I do want to ask you in thislast part of our talk, is there
away.
Is there something new that'sbrewing for you?
Like another starting over thatyou can kind of sense or that
you just are dreaming about?

Erica (59:44):
Well, it's funny.
Um, I've been actually dreamingabout having my own podcast,
which you guys are the perfectpeople to talk and talk to about
this.
And I've had it on my mind tosee if I can schedule a time to,
to talk with you guys about itbecause I would love to start
something that's like for mydynamic parents out there.
Um, and having these.

(01:00:04):
conversations with parents likeyou guys, um, that have found
ways that really work for them.
I would love to share thosestories of just challenging
times raising a family and howyou met those needs for yourself
and for your children.
Um, because I just love hearingthose stories and they're so...

(01:00:24):
There's so many beautifulparenting stories out there that
I've heard over the years.
And again, there's just no onesize fits all.
And I think it's so validatingfor other parents to hear, um,
how you navigated a struggle andhow you came through on the
other side.
Right?
Like I think all of those thingsare tiny, beautiful starting
over moments that the worldneeds to hear and that should be

(01:00:46):
shared.

Lindsey (01:00:48):
Yeah, we need, it's like this, like the most
important aspect of community,you know, like Thinking of a
podcast or whatever you'resharing, it's like we're sitting
around the fire saying like,this is what it's like for me.
Yes.
And then that fills me up andI'm like, okay, I can do it now
too.
Yes.

Erica (01:01:05):
I love that.
I love that illustration ofthat.
It just.
We do.
We miss that.
And, and those little tribalcommunities where you would sit
together around the fire and,and, you know, share your
experience and learn from oneanother.
And, and I think that's abeautiful thing that we get from
podcasts now is to be able to,you know, vicariously take and

(01:01:26):
harvest that information andapply it to navigating our own
world.
So I'm so grateful to you guysfor.
sharing your experience.
It really is such medicine, um,and so valuable.
And I'm so appreciative of youguys.
I feel like I'm close with youall the time, even though I
don't get to see you all thetime.

(01:01:46):
So just appreciate your work andwhat you're putting out into the
world so much.
It's, it's really such anincredible, wonderful thing.
Thank you for all

Lindsey (01:01:54):
you're doing.
Thank you so much.
And truly for everyonelistening.
Erica was like foundational inour starting over from when I
first met her three years agoand then started working with
her for my own parenting journeyand then Brit and I started
doing it together.
And it can't be overstated thatlike you were such an important

(01:02:15):
piece and we wouldn't be sittinghere right now if we hadn't like
got clear and got compassionate,like first step for real.
And been like, Got intentional,compassionate, and aware of what
we wanted our parenting journeyto look like.
So you are so important.

Britt (01:02:34):
And how can our listeners find you?

Erica (01:02:36):
Um, I am all over the socials.
You can find me at The DynamicChild on Facebook and Instagram.
Or Erica underscore Thomason ismy personal Instagram and
Facebook account where I post.
Post all things therapeutic andparenting and loving yourself
and loving each other well.

(01:02:57):
You can find me also at mywebsite, thedynamicchild.
com.

Lindsey (01:03:01):
Amazing.
Do you have two more minutes forquestions from Eli and Jack or
do

Erica (01:03:05):
you have to go?
No, I do.
I have two more minutes.
Okay.

Lindsey (01:03:08):
Okay.
Cause we like to end withquestions for me, from Eli and
Jack and I made sure to ask himthis morning.
So, and they're always random.
Yay.
I

Erica (01:03:17):
love Eli and Jack questions.
Yes.
Yeah.

Lindsey (01:03:20):
So first, first from Jack, what do you think will
happen in Frozen 3?
Ooh, good question.

Erica (01:03:29):
What's going to happen in Frozen 3?
Man.
Well, I think there's going tobe some awesome songs.
And there's definitely going tobe some magical happenings,
which I love.
Magic is incredible.
And I think Elsa and Anna arejust going to continue to deepen
their connection and their lovefor one another, and they're

(01:03:50):
going to find awesome ways towork together.
I love that about those two.
Good answer.

Lindsey (01:03:56):
It's a perfect answer.
Yeah.
So

Britt (01:03:59):
Eli wants to know, how are solar panels made?
Oh my

Lindsey (01:04:02):
gosh.
Eli.
And you can make it up.
They prefer made up answers.
Just so you know.
How

Erica (01:04:10):
are solar panels made?
Well, one day someone collecteda ton of aluminum cans.
And they spread them all outflat, and they put them on top
of their house, and theyrealized that that could harness
the energy of the sun and powera whole house or a city or a

(01:04:31):
whole world.
So yeah, that's how it happened.
Dr.
Pepper, Pepsi, and Coke cans.

Lindsey (01:04:38):
Yeah.
Perfect.
Oh, you're amazing.

Erica (01:04:44):
You guys are amazing.
You guys are magic.
I love you guys.
Thank you so much for having metoday.
This has just been such apleasure and it's just really an
honor to, to be a part of yourprocess and to watch you guys
navigate your world and, and allthe ways that you do.
It's just really inspiring andmotivating and, um, just fills

(01:05:04):
me with so much hope and loveand and energy for my life.
So thank you for being a part ofmy world.
Love you guys.

Lindsey (01:05:12):
Thank you so much.