Can You Don't?

Is there anything more romantic than having some sloppy anal sex next a pile of used heroine needles? Let's talk about that, how fun it would be to be buried alive, using a dead mouse to stop a co-worker from stealing your frozen burritos, doing lots of a little things to get revenge when you're upset with your partner, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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A lot of our lives depend on having an internet connection, but have you ever tried to kill your mom because the Wifi got turned off? Let's talk about that, sharing dick tattoos with your coworkers, how does laundry detergent continue to get more powerful, having to address shady conversations you hear in public, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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Everyone likes to have their ear nibbled on a little bit during sexy time. It feels pretty dang nice. But what if we added a harmonica to the mix? Let's talk about that, a prankster that doesn't quite understand the limits of a prank, running against your sibling in a political race, trying to talk a stranger into letting their child tickle your feet, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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If you had magic semen that could cure any disease in the world... would you walk around children's hospitals and be a hero, or would you avoid them because... you know... that could get very awkward? Let's talk about that, Bryan getting flipped off everywhere he goes, what some evil piece of shit did in an Orlando airport, why can't anyone figure out to effectively talk about their plans 'next weekend', and more on today'...

If you had to take a blind guess, how much do you think someone could sell a couple severed, dog-vomit covered human toes for on the black market? Never thought that would be a question we would ask ahead of today's episode. Let's talk about that, what Joe is really thinking about when riding in the car, probably the most messed up use for AI thus far, what's ok to adjust when borrowing someone's vehicle, and more on today...

When you think of having the ideal birthday, I bet you picture that day involving cleaning up someone else's poop all day long, right? Perfect. Let's talk about that, hiding milk in your school's ceiling tiles, dirty talking during sex about mashed potatoes, where the f***k did the Moses Lake fountain go, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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Bryan pissed the bed. Let's talk about that, trying to reason with criminals over splitting lottery winnings because they stole your credit card to buy said winning lottery ticket, an insane giant mega-cube that houses over 400,000 people, how Bryan actually pissed the bed, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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Did you know that for just a few hundred dollars, you can have a stranger on Etsy do a magic spell that will make your penis bigger or have the person of your choosing act like a sissy little cum slut? Let's talk about that, going to jail for your birthday, all the different phobias that people have, the best baby name to ever exist, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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We're not sure who needs to hear this but... if you're looking to blast a bunch of meth over a wall and into a prison, using a high-powered, air cannon isn't going to be the quietest option available. Let's talk about that, an elderly neighbor planning on throwing a Goddamn rager, how much is light is too much light in your garage, discovering that mummy bodies actually smell "pretty good" after all, and more on today's ep...

Picture yourself out on a nice date at a local watering hole with that special someone. However, this particular bar is located on death row so everyone has to overlook the executions. Yikes. Let's talk about that, a couple's dispute about aggressive road rage, a completely tone-deaf commercial about helping homeless children, an insurance company getting double screwed by screwing over a college kid, and more on today's e...

Well everyone... Bryan's vacation to Mexico ended in a way that we've all feared could happen to us. Let's talk about that, someone's dong getting stuck to the sidewalk during a bar fight, Joe getting yelled at by his neighbor, saving some lives because you happen to be a professional jump roper, living in the middle of a freeway because you got a little too stubborn, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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Nomination for "Best Friend" of the year: He tricks into getting a sex change and then threatens to kill your dad if you don't marry him! Let's talk about that, the best way to find out if your computer is on fire, sitting down with your mom to watch a video of you cumming all over yourself, all the facts you could ever want about dogs, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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How would you react if you had some wild, spontaneous sex with your partner while out drinking on the town... only to find out the next morning that the building ya'll were pounding against was a rape and abuse crises center? Let's talk about that, having to wear a magic fanny pack 24/7, being so good at fishing that you're able to save a drowning woman, ditching all your belongings to avoid some good ol' fashioned airport...

We learn a new life lesson today everyone! If you have a severe nut allergy, don't let someone nut inside you because if that someone ate nuts, that nut contain nuts. That's nuts! Let's talk about that, a payphone that only plays fucking bird sounds, having someone drink whiskey off your knockers then piss their bed, telling your boss you had sex with them in your dream last night, and more on today's episode of Can You Do...

Would you ruin someone's life anonymously in order to avoid embarrassing yourself in front of over 120 million people? Let's talk about that, yanking the driver's steering wheel to avoid a potential bad situation, letting all the prisoners out so they can go celebrate the new year, ending a relationship over how they cook hamburgers, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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How many porn searches does it take to make "enema" the top searched term for an entire state in 2024?! Let's talk about that, forgetting your child's big Christmas gift back home in the closet while on a family vacation, what the ugliest shark in the world would sound like if it could talk, time trialing the best way to fold socks, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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Is there anything worse than making a clever joke, someone doesn't get it, then you have to spend the next few minutes explaining why the joke was funny but now no one cares and everyone is sad? Let's talk about that, how many people are actually millionaires in the USA, the worst place to get caught while calling out sick from work, finding out that cougar meat taste pretty damn good, and more on today's episode of Can Yo...

You know when you're out in public and you can easily tell someone is going to be a problem? Well, Joe had an experience in a Verizon store he would like to share with you. Let's talk about that, having to chew your food for five minutes every single bite, why the heck are 'Lords a Leaping' so dang expensive, a thrilling dining experience so long as your disgruntled ex isn't the crane operator, and more on today's episode ...

Are you a fan of musicals? What if you had to basically live inside one for the rest of your life? Let's talk about that, the nicest airline pilot of all the time, trying to fight a polar bear in order to save your wife but still get in trouble for not doing the dishes, how much jerking off is too much jerking off, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

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