December 31, 2021 • 60 mins
In this episode, Cohost Will Voss talks with his barber about the mental health connection that happens in the styling chair. Not only can a barber provide necessary human touch, but some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations can occur when someone is in a vulnerable position with the expert in charge of their appearance. Voss talks with his celebrated barber, entrepreneur and musician Antwan Cook of Legends' Club Nashville. Settle in as we get CAN+DID with the specialist who keeps our host looking sharp.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rikki Harris (00:02):
Candide is a podcast of Tennessee voices
about mental health, featuringstories of people who have
overcome mental healthchallenges, as well as those who
have helped people overcomemental health challenges. This
podcast is about authenticity.
And it's intended to give avoice to those who are
passionate about mental wellbeing. We hope that by sharing
stories, listeners willunderstand mental health and how
(00:26):
important it is and help usreduce stigma. We want you to
know that so many who havestruggled with mental health can
and did overcome theirchallenges. And if you are
struggling, you can too. I'myour host, Ricky Harris, CEO of
Tennessee voices, and with me ismy favorite co host, will Voss
CEO of Tennessee voices. Welcometo our podcast, let's get
(00:51):
candid.
So 2020 and 2021 have obviouslybeen unprecedented years in our
nation, people have reallystruggled on everything that's
going on in the last 18 monthsor so. And we started to
(01:12):
understand that more people arereaching out needing mental
health services because there's,there's a feeling that they
don't know how to deal with.
It's something new. It'ssomething that is not pleasant.
And sometimes it's described asyou know, feeling anxious or
depressed. But not everyone isclinically anxious or depressed,
but rather they're feeling afeeling called languishing.
Brian Sullivan (01:41):
Watch story of hope streaming now on the
Tennessee voices network AT T Edvoices.org. And while you're
there, check out resources likeour online library, mental
health factsheets and a guidedmeditation to help you move from
languishing to flourishing.
Rikki Harris (01:58):
Fabulous. Welcome to this episode of candid. I'm
your host, Ricky Harris, and myco host,
Will Voss (02:05):
will vos EO.
Rikki Harris (02:08):
I'm super excited about this episode will because
we interviewed our hair people,my hairdresser, your barbers.
And we did that for a number ofreasons. Certainly, I had some
thoughts about why What were youthinking when I said, Hey, let's
interview people who do ourhair,
Will Voss (02:29):
you know, my mind immediately thought they
probably they probably could belicensed as much as they hear.
They hear a lot, you hear a lotof a lot of concerns from their
clients. And they're probablyexperts in the field by now.
Right?
Rikki Harris (02:43):
Right. I had the same thought or what
Will Voss (02:45):
came up for us. Um, you mentioned gossip, and I
spoke to Antoine about, youknow, growing up going to the
barbershop with my dad on aSaturday night driving in, that
was the only day you could go.
And my mother would joke with usoften and say, you know, I
believe that y'all gossip moreat the barber shop, up shop. And
you know, with Anton, he he'sgot his own shop now. And he
(03:08):
talked about how people come in,and they're looking for
listening here. And I thoughtabout it, and I said, You know
what, we were gettingcomfortable, you know, we're in
a comfort zone, and we juststart talking. We feel
comfortable with a trustedindividual. And we just need
that listening ear and somebodythat's making us feel good. And
(03:29):
you know, just letting us know,you know, yep, I'm an additional
support that you never eventhought about. Because the motto
was always what said in thebarber shop stays in the barber
shop. You know, when you're withyour barber, that's a
relationship that you built, andit's grown over the years. So
it's those conversations aboutmental health. They come up more
often than we even think.
Rikki Harris (03:52):
Yeah, yeah. And and in your case, your barber
actually has some experience onthe field.
Will Voss (03:58):
Yes, he's got experience in the field, you
know, which he he'll talk aboutduring his his segment. And also
they'll talk about his ownexperience. So often we we
equate, you know, barbers andhairstylist to an artist, it is
an art that they are doing forus. My friends would joke a
barber can make or break yougetting a date. You want to be
(04:22):
able to come out, you know,looking looking much better than
the way you went in. And youknow, he talks about his own
lived experience and what itwhat it was like for him growing
up in the South in a black mangoing through mental health
struggles and not having anybodyto talk about it. Trying to find
these avenues. And you knowwhat? Cutting hair became one of
(04:43):
those avenues as a getaway toeverything that was everything
bad that was going on. And itbecame an art it became a talent
and he's on the flip sidehelping people you know, even
when he was doing socialmarketing with us, you'll hear
me about how that was a lifechanging experience, to no
(05:04):
longer be cutting hair andlistening, but getting the word
out about mental health viasocial marketing. It's something
that we don't think about doing.
But we're on our phones all dayall night. Yep, to be able to
have someone scroll up and seesomething about mental health.
It's encouraging. You never knowwho you're going to reach. Yeah,
Rikki Harris (05:22):
yeah, it's so true. So that's interesting. One
of the things you said, struckme that we should probably tell
listeners that we have someresources and things available.
Yes, people are needing to seekout help on different topics,
the first of which is an onlinelibrary that we can we can
access right through ourwebsite, tn places.org. And
(05:45):
search up things, self helprelated kinds of books,
downloads, free resources thatyou can access. So that's one
way but then maybe you couldtalk briefly about the app that
we're working on.
Will Voss (05:58):
Yeah, so we're working on an app, the Tennessee
screen app, and it is going tobe something that's really,
truly going to be able to get inwhat we hope will get in the
hands of many individuals thatare struggling with mental
health concerns. How do we workto prevent suicide? And how do
we provide these tools forcoping, if someone is thinking
(06:20):
about having suicidal ideationsor not going through that
difficult day, and they don'tknow what to do? And don't feel
that they have anyone to talkto? How can they access these
resources through an app rightthere in the palm of their
hands.
Rikki Harris (06:35):
I'm excited about it. And we're getting really
close to a release date. Socoming very soon, we're also
getting close to our virtualGala. And we decided, again,
this year not to do an in persongathering, but rather to do
something online. And what wereally wanted to focus on was
how can we continue to helpstrengthen the community, from
(06:58):
the feeling of languishing, justbeing stuck in this state that
we're in as a society, dealingwith all the things we've dealt
with in the last 18 months? Andfeeling kind of, blah, and how
can we move forward? And how canwe experience our joy again,
like we remember it pre, thelast 18 months. So that's
(07:20):
coming, and hopefully, very,very soon. Oh, by the way, I
should say, That's November 16.
It's going to streamers 16. Yes,yes. It's gonna stream on our
platforms. You can findinformation about it on our
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Dowe have a tick tock account?
Will Voss (07:38):
Yeah, but
Rikki Harris (07:39):
really do that?
Yeah. I mean, I don't know whatthe content will be. Because
Don't you have to have video?
See, I'm like not. I have noidea.
Will Voss (07:50):
That's what we're here for Ricky. We're here. Yes,
we have a tic tac that will becoming. So be on the lookout
listeners.
Rikki Harris (07:59):
Yes. And with that, we're also going to
release a guided meditation thatI wrote, and had the pleasure of
working with Bill Fondren, oneof our previous candid podcast
guest, who did the voice overfor that meditation, it is
amazing what happens when aprofessional reads, a guided
(08:20):
meditation the way it's supposedto be done, it sounds awesome.
So I'm really excited aboutthat, we're going to have some
music and some graphic put withthat and release that to the
public, which again, will bereleased on all of our social
channels, but also tmvoices.org. So lots coming. And
the reason behind it, maybe wecould take three minutes and
(08:42):
talk about why this is importantto us to provide all these
resources to the community.
So yes, I mean, first of all,how many people have told you
that they're struggling orfeeling some kind of way that
they don't understand or havenot experienced before?
Will Voss (09:03):
I mean, you hear it so so often, Ricky, and you
know, I even thought about, wetalk a lot about languishing and
think about my self care tips.
And where you go, we'll hearfrom our barber and my barber
and his hairstyle is going tothe barbershop is a part of my
(09:24):
self care. And it got to thepoint where I started not going
as often as, as I used to go,didn't feel like getting up and
going and just wanted to beatmyself. And I know that that was
not like me. I'm always tryingto make sure that I've got a
(09:47):
crisp line and maybe here andthere. But that was at that
moment where I realized you knowwhat, it's something something's
not right. something's a littleoff and you hear so often. You
You know, I've talked to manyfriends about languishing, you
know, since the conversationstarted between you and I, and a
lot of people are starting tofeel, or they're feeling better
that they now have a term toequate to how they've been
(10:11):
feeling. No, it's notdepression, you know, but it's
a, it's a different feeling.
It's an odd feeling a state ofbeing, and I've never been there
before. And some people arelosing some joy over there. So
to be able to get the word outabout, you know, what, hey, I'm
experiencing this too. And hereare some tips and tools that can
(10:34):
help you get through it. Andmost importantly, let people
know that you can get throughit. You know, we're living proof
that it's possible. And we'realso improved to let you know
that we're here to support youand walk with you along that
journey.
Rikki Harris (10:49):
Yeah, I agree. I mean, one of the things I think
that we can we can do for thecommunity is trying to help move
them from languishing toflourishing. And I literally
wrote that as a missionstatement that we want to help
people find their joy. And allof this that's been happening.
And I'm excited about that. Thepodcast, I think, is one effort
(11:12):
to do that just to help hearfrom everybody else about what's
been going on with them, and howthey're coping. Because this is
not a one size fits all. This isa will throw a bunch of ideas at
you. We hope you'll trysomething that helps you and
moves you on to a betterposition. Hopefully you feel
like you are flourishing, andfinding joy again, and all that
(11:36):
all that's going on in theworld. So I'm excited about this
episode, you guys are going toenjoy it.
Erika Lathon (11:42):
We'll be right back after this short break.
Vicki Yates (11:48):
A new podcast is not only shining a light on
mental health, but showingothers that they can overcome
their struggles. NewsChannelfive Sina slim gives us a first
look at candidate
Seena Sleem (12:02):
it's called candid but spelled this way for a
reason. manded is
Rikki Harris (12:06):
a podcast of Tennessee voices about mental
health.
Seena Sleem (12:09):
Each episode will have guests telling their
stories of struggle when itcomes to mental health and
sharing how they can have didovercome their challenges
shoulders like postpartumdepression. For co host Ricky
Harris,
Rikki Harris (12:21):
it was the first time that I really didn't know
what to do with my own mentalhealth. I mean, I have a lot of
coping skills and I had a lot ofeducation and training in the
area. And I needed help duringthat time. And so seeking out
therapy, and even looking at theoptions of taking medication for
me were just really scary andfeelings
Seena Sleem (12:43):
of anxiety for CO hosts well Boss,
Will Voss (12:45):
what is my purpose, you know, and really kind of
filling down a lot of times asfar as Oh, I'm never gonna
amount to this or never amountto that.
Seena Sleem (12:51):
During the pandemic mental health struggles have
only been amplified people
Rikki Harris (12:55):
were turning more toward substances during the
pandemic. suicides wereincreasing during the pandemic,
concerns for people's lives werereally serious.
Seena Sleem (13:07):
The podcast is another way to help people cope,
Will Voss (13:10):
okay to not be okay, and you are not alone. We are
here we are here to help and to
Seena Sleem (13:17):
expand resources to those that need it, especially
in rural areas, seamlessly.
NewsChannel five.
Vicki Yates (13:25):
Now, if you want to give the podcast a listen, it's
available on all major platformslike Spotify and Amazon music.
If you or someone you know isdealing with a mental health
challenge and want to reach outfor help. We have a whole list
of resources on our website.
NewsChannel five.com.
Erika Lathon (13:42):
Welcome back.
Will Voss (13:46):
Arabic. All right.
Good morning. Good morning. Yes,yes. Yes. I'm Wilbur Ross. I'm
the CEO here at Tennessee voicesand joining me this morning is
my good friend and my barber yo,Antoine cook. Good morning. Good
morning. Good morning on always.
I'm good. I'm good. I reallyappreciate you for joining me on
(14:09):
this can dad podcast? Yes, yes.
You know, we've been talking alot with individuals about their
own lived experience, how theycan continue to support mental
health and assisting anddecreasing the stigma. And Ricky
and I were thinking, you know,who deals a lot with hearing
stories, and encountering peoplewho may be struggling with
(14:32):
mental health and not evenrealizing it was our hairstylist
and our Barber. And I wanted toreach out to you and really have
a good conversation and see howwe can help listeners who really
may be struggling and not knowwhat to do and also help those
in the in a profession that wedon't even think that is a
helping profession. So Antoinefor listeners, I mean, I've
(14:55):
known you a while but tell us alittle bit about your
background. Who is AntoineCooke? Well, how long have you
been doing what you do? What doyou do? Oh, I do, I do quite a
bit. I'm originally from Mobile,Alabama born and raised live
there for quite some time movedto family moved to Hattiesburg,
(15:18):
Mississippi with that that arealived there for some while for
some time. So yeah, I've beenpretty much living in the South,
the Deep South, like all of mylife. So moving here is the most
northern that I've been. So Iknow some people still consider
it as the South no natural forme. I don't consider the North
(15:38):
but it's definitely morenorthern than what I'm used to.
So, um, yeah, so I mean, I'vebeen in the hair industry since
maybe 2009. That's when I wentto school, but I actually
started cutting hair. I'm in mydorm in college. So that was a
2000 baht. 2005 Maybe I wascutting my own hair, and people
(16:02):
are asking me to do theirs. Andthe neighbor started asking loan
last Oregon longer. So I decidedto get my license. And yeah, so
now I'm in I have my own place.
Now. I have my own shop inNashville. So yeah, it's been a
it's been a pretty eventfuljourney all these years. Yeah.
(16:26):
Yes, definitely. I candefinitely agree with that. And
you say you have your own shopnow. And it's called the legends
club. Yes, the lens. That's aunique name. What's the story
behind the legends club? Whyname it that? Well, really,
really the initially the thename came from, like, I'm a
(16:47):
musician and a singer. So I do alot with music. And I listened
to a lot of the legends like,you know, Michael Jackson,
Prince. I don't know Aerosmith.
Rolling Stone, I listen to a lotof like legends so that I
started hashtagging that, likeyears ago. And so when I when I
(17:08):
decided to open my own place, Iwas kind of struggling with
names. And I just thought, well,let me just use what I've always
been using legends club, andthen I then I thought about this
as well, like, well, the way Icut hair, I treat all of my
clients as if they're like, Itreat that that work as if
they're extremely important. SoI'll take and you know, I'm
(17:31):
very, very, very detailed. Whenit comes down to cutting hair,
I'm going after every strand,because in my mind, like, you
know, I will I'm cutting theirhair, how will my hair because
so I kind of look at that, likethe my clients are legends. So I
call it the legends club. And Ialso have this, this wall in my
suite that I'm that I'm buildingwhere all of my clients when
(17:55):
they come in, after the haircut,they're assigned the wall, like
a legends wall. And then Iboomerang gonna take a picture.
So that's kind of where thetheme legends club came from.
You know, and I think about itone, we appreciate it, you
definitely make us look likelegends when we leave. So thank
you so much. My pleasure.
(18:18):
I think about growing up inbarber shops, of course, you
know, my background, you know,growing up in the South moved to
the north. And the common themethat at all was going to the
barber shop, you know, Iremember days where I would go
to the barber shop with my dadon a Saturday morning and it was
packed, it was busy. And theconversations that you hear we
(18:38):
have a lot of fun at thebarbershop. Yeah. And we also
get into some real deepconversations. And you said you
focus on you know, I want tomake sure that, you know,
everybody feels like a legendbecause that's how you view
them. Talk to me about, youknow, difficult conversations
(18:59):
that you encounter. You know,how do you deal with the stories
that you hear? You know,especially those deep
conversations where, you know,men are diving into how they're
facing struggles with mentalhealth or things going on at
home? You know, how are youdealing with that? Because
that's a lot to hold on to whileyou're trying to cut here in
what 3045 minutes? Yeah, um, youknow, a lot of time I've
(19:25):
realized that is not that theguys that come in, it's not that
they really want an answer perse. A lot of times they just
want someone to listen. So Ikind of you know, as as I'm
cutting their hair, and I just Ikind of allow things to kind of
flow organically however, youknow, and I try to be, you know,
(19:45):
really personable to where, youknow, they can know they feel
like they can, you know, shareor just have a normal
conversation. A lot of timesit's not deep a lot of time it's
just, you know, just randomthings, but I do I do have
certain situations where youknow, they mean, you know,
clients mentioned things thatthey're going through, and, you
know, and I just, you know, I'vebeen engaged with them is, you
(20:07):
know, you know, just basicallyopen the door for them to
express themselves. So they, youknow, they feel comfortable. So,
and if it's something that Ihave had experience with, you
know, I'll know lightly share myexperience, or if it helps, and
then then we kind of get intothat dialogue. And, um, yeah,
and then the next haircut, Iasked that I say, Hi, how's it
going, you know, how youfeeling? You know, and then they
(20:29):
kind of just evolved from there.
And then I saw, you know,hearing about the progress and
good news here. Okay, thishappened, and Oh, yeah. So is,
is, is definitely a lot becauseI made like, my clientele is
growing, like every week. So I'mdefinitely hearing different
stories from different culturesand different, like people in
different backgrounds. So it'sdefinitely a variety. But I
(20:51):
realized that the commondenominator is that people
really just want someone tolisten to especially men, and
they just want somebody tolisten to them, you know, and
just kind of get things offtheir chest, you know, there
was, you know, something that Iread a few weeks ago, it was,
when someone begins to tell youtheir story, they're venting to
(21:14):
so often we want to jump in andgive our baits in our opinion.
And a lot of times what they'rereally wanting from us is just
someone to listen. Yeah, Iexplained to kids, when I when I
did therapy, youth and youngadults that holding all that in
is like putting pop rocks in acoke bottle and shaking it up.
There's a way in to slowlyrelease, whatever's been holding
(21:39):
you've been holding on to allright, a lot of times people are
just trying to do a slowrelease. And we often jump in
with those advices that advicein those opinions. And I've read
recently, where sometimes it'sgood to just stop and ask when
(21:59):
someone's talking. What are youneeding of me? Are you venting
so that I can give you advice?
Or do you need to listen here?
Yeah, so I can tell you, youknow, thank you for being that
listening ear for me. And Iprobably can speak on behalf of
the rest of your clients. But Iwas saying thanks. Because
sometimes we're coming in andyou know what, we're feeling
(22:20):
good. We're relaxed. We're in acomfortable state with someone
that we do trust. And it's goodto be able to have someone who
is listening here. Yeah. Youstated earlier, you know, he
said, especially for men thatjust want to want to vent. And
you know, I think it's you know,no matter what your what your
background is what your genderis, I think everybody you know
that struggling with somethingthey just want to vent. Yeah.
(22:42):
And then I think about the blackcommunity, right, you talked
about growing up immobile andliving in Hattiesburg. Now
Nashville and think aboutgrowing up in the black
community. We don't talk aboutmental health. No, we don't, you
know, there's so many reasons wecan dive into as to why we don't
talk about it. But I guess Iwant to get your opinion on, you
(23:04):
know, what are what are thingsthat we can do better, you know,
in the African Americancommunity to make sure that
we're speaking positively aboutmental health?
Initially, I mean, just from my,my experience, just being
educated, you know, in the area,I'm creating that awareness, and
(23:30):
not, you know, kind of sweepingthings under the rug, or just
kind of, you know, being passiveabout it. Or not even regarding
the topic, because I might, Ididn't hear about mental health
like this the term alone. UntilI was like, maybe close to 30. I
(23:53):
mean, no, we were all you hearit in commercials and stuff like
that, as far as, like, aconversation, someone I didn't
like, that didn't happen until,like, I got much older, you
know, just because, I mean, itjust it wasn't the topic wasn't
the thing, you know, a lot ofthings just kind of, you know,
just gets ignored and, you know,and kind of, maybe you're
pointing to another area that,you know, to try to veer off of
(24:17):
the topic, but it really is,it's mental health, you know,
that's, that's, that's thething. So, I would just say
definitely, I'm allowing,allowing ourselves to be like
more educated realizing theseverity of it, initially,
realizing that is, this is aserious thing, you know, it
(24:38):
could you know, at least beingaware of it being knowledgeable
about it could prevent you know,so many other issues or so many
things that we may and it couldeven prepare our kids in the
next generation for you know, ifit's something that is actually
addressed or more and I feellike as Tommy in this era, I
feel like it may the the topicmay have Um, you know, increased
(25:01):
a little bit more than I was inthe past, which is good. But it
definitely needs to be, like,definitely engaged consistently,
you know, especially in theblack community just to, so that
we can kind of understand, youknow, things that are going on
in our minds that we all knowthat it's not just me, you know,
I, it's not just me feeling thisway, you know, and so I think
(25:24):
that's extremely importantthing, some of the best advice,
the listeners can hear, isbecoming more educated, knowing
those signs and symptoms, whatto look for, you know, not
sweeping things under the rug,because people don't want to
feel like oh, you know, this isjust me going through it,
there's so many peopleexperiencing the same things,
(25:47):
and they need to know that, youknow, I'm not alone. And
someone, they can speakpositively about what's going
on, and someone, they can helpme on this walk, you know, to
make sure that I'm reaching mygoals that I've set out for
myself. I know that we've talkedabout, you know, dealing with
mental health and personalexperiences. So my question to
(26:09):
you, for listeners, what hasworked for you personally, what
has helped you reach your goals,while dealing with certain
things. Um, I will say, what hasreally helped me what has really
(26:30):
helped me reach goals, um, andsee them like, see, see the
goals, what they are, and thenactually know, and not having
something distractions isdefinitely addressing,
addressing the things that Ichose to cover up with doing
other stuff. See me, I engage ina lot. I mean, I'm just I'm an
(26:53):
artist. So it's easy for me tofind things to do. And that's,
and that's what I did for years.
For years, like the majority ofmy life. I'm 35 now, and
awesome. I'm just now getting tothe point probably around, I
don't know, 3332, where Iactually started facing things
(27:13):
that I have that I decided tojust cover up with another
activity or cover another hobby,or come up with another pursuit,
you know, so I mean, because Ido, I went from music and I went
from painting. And when, whenthings got tough, I just picked
up, I bought a saxophone, solearn the saxophone and that
(27:34):
when so when I got when that gotbored, I got bored that and then
the things my mind startedcoming up out, I started moving
Nashville, I mean, I justMy whole life has been spent
with me, I will say running fromthe things that I just needed to
face, and then I will have thattemporary peace, when I found
(27:56):
something new to do, becausethat would distract my mind,
I'll be so focused on it,because everything that I do, I
tune into it, and I just try toperfect it. So that would
distract me from the things thatI was not addressing in my mind.
But I got to a point where maybeI was maybe I was 34. But I just
(28:17):
I just broke down like ages, andit was no other hobby, or no
other instrument or no other.
Anything that I could find, togive me that piece. Because I
mean, because it gets to a pointwhere things just start piling
up, and start piling up andpiling up and piling up. And you
(28:40):
can only run from it for so longto where because my thing is I
just wasn't used to talking topeople. Like I didn't have that,
you know, growing up, it wasn't,hey, if you're going through
something, talk to me, you know,if you're feeling something and
talk to me, that wasn't thething with me growing up. So I
got so accustomed to the, tothe, to the ritual objects, if
you go through some fallsemester, do you know so, and I
(29:02):
got to the point where I just, Ijust started talking to people,
even you, you know, just the oh,by the time that I've known you,
like you've educated me so muchon just the the mental health
aspect. And that that opened meup a little bit more to be able
to feel comfortable because thisthis was a new thing for me a
new lifestyle. I mean, mylifestyle, my previous lifestyle
(29:23):
was just concealing, and, um,you know, presenting yourself,
you know, you know thateverybody sees you as the same
and I was good at that. But thething is, I what people saw
wasn't really what was going oninternally. And so I got to the
point where I just had to, Ijust have stopped talking to
people, and I realized, and it'sso crazy I look back at it. I'm
(29:47):
like, I feel so much betterafter talking to people but I
guess it is but it just wasn'tthe thing for me but not when
now that I've gotten into thehabit of when I feel some kind
of way or I feel some and I talktalk to somebody about it. Like
how all my clients talk to me.
And now I'm like, you know,okay, yeah. So it's easier now,
it's easier now to say, hey,we'll let me let me let me tell
(30:12):
you this is easy. We before, youknow, you know, it was just a
good, you know, just got to planit off. But yeah, so I
definitely say like, for me,talking to people. And it's
amazing, I just did not thinkthey would have that effect. I
really not, I'm gonna be honest,I did not think that simply
talking to someone about myissues, and things that I'm
(30:35):
going through, whether it'sdepression, or other things,
that way, no matter what it was,once I got those things out,
and, and with the person who Itrust, after the conversation is
like, it's so much lighter, likeI feel, I felt so much lighter.
And it's and then the nextdemonstration I saw was like,
I'm getting lighter and lighterand lighter. And I did not know
(30:57):
that something as simple ashaving a conversation with
someone could really have thattype of impact on your mind. So
that's why I say this, gettingthat education, and then
becoming aware of like, youknow, whatever mental issues you
have, and just finding thatplace to where you can actually
(31:20):
talk to someone is so so, socrucial. And this from our own
experience of holding things infor I'm like I said, I'm 35
like, so I'm just not getting tothe point where I'm like, I'm
comfortable now to actuallyexpress myself. So yeah, I love
it. It's I'm is I'm happier now,than what I've ever been in my
life. Like, in my entire life,I've had moments, I have moments
(31:42):
of happiness, I've hadachievements, you know, getting
a scholarship, going to collegewinning talent shows, and, and,
you know, getting hair andmakeup credits and movies. And
so I have all those things. Butall those things were just on
top of the things that I wasdeciding to hide. And so it
really didn't mean much. But nowit means all those goals and
(32:05):
achievements mean so much more,that I have more mental freedom.
So I'm definitely grateful forthat.
I can tell you that you justhelped so many people listening
today. Because we talk a lotabout you know how have
described it in the past, it'slike a plate, you know, a
(32:26):
sectional plate. You gotcarrots, peas, and mashed
potatoes on one thing Oh played.
And what we try to do is, youknow, for instance, if those
carrots and those peas arethings that we don't like things
that we don't want to deal with,we'll take those mashed potatoes
and start putting it on topcovering it up. And at the day,
you know, while we can't see itanymore, it's still there. Yeah,
(32:46):
we still have to deal with it.
Yeah, you just helped a lot ofpeople understand that too,
simply by talking. And then forsupporters simply by listening.
Yeah, you can help someoneachieve happiness. You can help
someone be able to have peace.
And know that yes, hope ispossible. Yeah. Because there
(33:09):
are so many people who arelosing hope due to the pandemic
and other things going on. Andthere are people who are at the
point where you know what Idon't even think hope is real.
They don't think that it's evenpossible. Yeah, just provided a
lot of hope. And pray now.
Appreciate that. Hey, I'm readyto do it. Someone Someone helped
(33:30):
me. So I'm glad to have someoneelse. Oh, yes. Yes, that's
that's the bit one of thebiggest purposes of this
podcast, someone to be able tosay, You know what, I can do it.
And then being able to look backand say, You know what, I did do
it? Yeah. Can it be yourself?
You mentioned a few thingsearlier, and one I want to come
back to was not only did youcall Nashville north and I was
(33:51):
gonna call you out. I'm like,you know, coming coming from
rural aids down south. is fine.
But you you mentioned, you know,in dealing with things moved to
Nashville was one of those, youknow, kind of coping mechanisms.
You were writing. And you movedup here, I will never forget it.
(34:14):
You moved up here in February of2020. That was when things were
still open. Right. You moved uphere prior to a tornado. You
moved up here prior to thepandemic going on lockdown.
Right. And then we also had abombing here in Nashville
(34:39):
downtown. I mean, right aroundthe corner from where we've gone
out before. You know, we we'vehad so much to be grateful and
thankful for during all of this.
I wanted to ask how has thatplayed an impact On you reaching
those goals and being in controlof your mental health, dealing
(35:04):
with all of those differentchanges and transitions, because
thankfully you did stay, youknow, we're not gonna let you go
leave Nashville now. Yeah, yeah,it's a lot to have to deal with.
And on top of that, you openedup a whole new shop this year.
True, true. Honestly, Sylvianeis my outlook on all the all the
(35:25):
events, the you know, theshutdown and all that. I will
say, coming from where I camefrom the, I think I would have
much rather been here duringthose times, then where I was
living at. Um, but but one thingone thing you did for me though,
(35:48):
and I'm, I'm grateful that Imoved here, right before all of
that for just for one reason. Istarted following all of like,
the Nashville pages and stufflike that when I when I moved
here. So when, when all of theseevents took place, I saw
something that I haven't, thatI've never seen before living in
(36:11):
the areas I lived in, I sawpeople and businesses pause what
they were doing, and showconcern for the community and go
out of their way.
Not being compensated not notfor cloud or not forgot to be
(36:32):
seen, but really, genuinelygoing out of their way to help
those who suffered loss in thosetimes. And our businesses
shutting down saying, you know,we're going to, we're going to
close down in memory of our justout of respect for so and so. So
I'm seeing all these things andseeing how people are natural
(36:55):
and just from and they're notjust, you know, just people who
are just, you know, I don'tknow, just not really having
like businesses, but likebusiness owners and like, is
just a booming, I was alwaysjust watching these pages,
scrolling down the timeline,seeing all the memes and support
and raising money here. And ifyou want to give to this, and
(37:19):
all all proceeds is gonna gotoward these families. And so
I'm seeing all of this. And, andit was that was good for me.
That was good for me, becausenow it helps is helping me train
me being a business ownermyself, if something like that
comes up again, because I'vebeen exposed to it. And I'm
(37:40):
drawn to that type of energy,that type of mindset. It's gonna
be easy for me when somethinglike that happens. Okay, cool.
So we're going to, I'm going togive this amount to someone so
because it's so it's like, it'salmost like I was able to see
that and it helped me to, Iguess, adapt that lifestyle and
adopt adapt that mindset forwhen something is, you know, in
(38:03):
a way, you know, God forbid, ifsomething like that come up
again. You know, it's like,that's, that's awesome. I mean,
just to selflessly look out forsomeone to that magnitude. So
yeah, you know, it was it was itwas definitely like a definitely
tragedies you know, and, butit's so much I feel like it's so
much good came out of it, youknow, just kind of people being
(38:24):
able to come together and youknow, join and join forces to
actually help better the peoplewho may have suffered loss. So
I'm not for me,you know, I, after my place shut
down, I worked at boardroom soafter the place that I worked
at, shut down, I was able towork at Tennessee voices for for
(38:45):
a little while. So and thatalone, me working at Tennessee
voices alone helped my mind toevolve. So I'm kind of grateful
for the pandemic, in a sense, inthe sense that I was able to
stop one area of my life, whichwas cutting hair, something that
(39:07):
I'm used to, to be able to focuson, you know, I was doing social
marketing, but I had to readthings and, and come up with
things to try to put out toencourage people and that's
something that I had not reallydone. I'm not a lot of in the
mental health field. So and justhaving those zoom calls needed
(39:28):
here and hearing y'all talkabout different things and it
was the education that Ireceived from working with
Tennessee voices that changed meas a person. So I'm grateful for
that time that I was able to youknow, you know, meet Ricky and
like all of the staff and youand I just all just just to kind
of see how you guys interact andengaging and talk about mental
(39:50):
health and the end user you guysdo is such ease and just kind of
you know, just go into it inyour hearts in it. It that that
changed me. And it kind ofhelped me get a better view on
how I should view mental health,and how I should make it a
priority. And how I should, youknow, advocate to be an advocate
and maybe want other people tobe aware of it and want other
(40:14):
people to be educated about it.
So that that impacted my life ina way that I feel that was
necessary for me opening my ownplace. So me opening my own
barber shop and being inrelationship with so many
people, I felt like I neededthat that insight and training
from, from Tennessee voices inthe midst in a more deeper
(40:37):
mental health. Not that I got,like, super deep into it, but
just a little bit that I wasexposed to, um, it just gave me
a different perspective on onmental health in general. And so
for me, though, that whole shutdown era, it was a learning
period for me, in regards tomental health, it was a changing
(41:02):
period. For me, it was a periodwhere I was able to start
thinking about calling my momand calling my dad, because this
is a conversation that myparents, like my siblings, we
don't have these conversations.
So after being exposed to it,now my mindset is like, I want
to talk to my dad about somestuff, I want to stuff that
we've never talked about stuffthat we've never talked about, I
(41:26):
want to talk to my mom, I wantto, I want to see see how my
brother, my sister feels aboutthis. So like, so being exposed
to it. And that's why I say theeducation part is so important,
because now that I'm exposed toit, and I was able to be exposed
to it just from that shutdowntime, but now that I'm exposed
to it, the way I look at myfamily is different. I see
(41:46):
issues in my family differently.
My approach to issues in myfamily is different. Um, now
instead of going to my fatherand just having a conversation
with them. I know I can go tohim now and ask them questions.
Hey, Dad, how do you? How do youfeel about this? Oh, you know,
(42:08):
um, even when we were younger,you know, this have we never
talked about it? We're like, youknow, what, how did you how did
you feel about me? You know,just, and I have a better
insight, you know, how to handlethings. So it's a beautiful
thing for me, you know, let metell you something. So this is
one of the earlier podcastsrecordings. I probably should
get it out now. But I can beemotional. You know, I'm never
(42:31):
afraid to say it. You aredefinitely trying to take me
there today. Yeah, that was itwas a lot going on lockdown. And
of course, we're both extrovertshaving to isolate, you know, and
figure out how do we check inwith people it is, it was a lot,
(42:54):
it was a lot I can tell you, I'mso thankful and grateful for our
friendship. And, you know, evenbeing able to have someone who,
you know, you come from similarbackgrounds, right? We were both
raised in the south. Now. Yeah,I grew up and lived in a North
(43:15):
bed, that Southern culture, Katestay wherever we went. Yeah. And
you know, coming from somethingthat a lot of times you don't
see in the black community,which is a come from two parent
household.
You know, having some with onthat level, knowing what it was
like, and then sibling you know,you have more than I do, but
(43:38):
being able to have thoseconversations with them, someone
to connect with, andunderstanding the importance of
you know, connecting with brandsand friends become family. Yeah.
You stated that, you know, youenjoyed your time here. And it,
definitely it makes us feel goodhearing those type of things.
Because our goal is to make surethat people feel welcome when
(44:00):
they're working here. Yeah.
Also, I joke with stamp. Often Isay we are like a family may not
always agree on certain things.
But at the end of the day, weput those differences aside to
get the job done. And make surethat we are helping each other
so that we can best help thefamilies that we work with,
because it's bigger than us. Itis bigger than us. Yeah, I'm not
(44:25):
going to get too deep thismorning. Don't do it. I guess my
final question to you Antoine,as we begin to wrap up. You and
I have connected on a lot ofthings. And music is a big one.
(44:45):
I should have told you to bringyour keyboard to this recording.
You should I should have Ishould have maybe next time
maybe next time as we bring youon. But I want to ask you this
What is a song that is help getyou out of those moments where
(45:08):
you're feeling down thosemoments where you needed some
type of extra push to keepgoing. And as you're thinking, I
know you and I, we list a littlebit of everything and yeah, I
named songs for the next 24hours. So as you think I'm gonna
tell you, it was for me, I waslistening to what I hear this
(45:32):
morning. After, yes, thismorning, it was Justin
Timberlake. I got a feeling.
Okay, he stopped. I'm sorry, Iapologize, cane stopped feeling.
That is what I was aiming tocoming into work. Okay, I will
say for me, for me, this all Ican probably just replay and
(45:56):
replay and just just get thisstuff get this awesome feeling
and, and I don't know, you justkind of get that perspective,
it's probably gonna be man inthe mirror. But my nice, yeah,
it's probably gonna be likethat, that song. Like, just, it
just, it just, it helps me clearmy mind of like any, any pre
(46:17):
existing, just negative ofoutlets, it helps me to, you
know, sell people and not like,you know, try to, I don't know,
look at him in a certain way.
Because of you know, I don'tknow, maybe just reminded me,
(46:38):
somebody's rude to me orsomething, oh, I'll just say I'm
cutting someone's hair. And Idon't know, it's just a rude
interaction, you know, the songslike that particular song, it
helps me to focus on myself. Sothat I can still because if both
of us are negative, then thisisn't this, this haircut is not
going to go to zero. So I justdid have this on man. And, you
(46:58):
know, if you want to make theworld a better place, take a
look at yourself and make achange, you know. And so that's
all and not only just though,the lyrics is, you know, it's
just jamming. You know, I likethose of you that are listening
now. He's actually he's dancingright now. Just try to envision
that based on what you hear.
Yes, that is awesome. Any finalwords you want to leave
(47:21):
listeners today? Um, I would sayI would say anybody that's out
there listening and you've been,you know, considering maybe
talking to someone, maybe Imean, maybe you're, you're maybe
this is your first timelistening, first time engaging,
or hearing this type ofconversation. Um, you know, my,
(47:42):
my thing would be just based offmy own experiences, you know,
don't be afraid to, don't beafraid to trust someone. You
know, I know, I know, it may itmay take time, especially if you
may have been through somethingthey have caused you to have,
that may have caused stressissues within yourself. But if
(48:03):
you able to find someone thatyou can trust, even if you have
to go to, you know, contact inan actual, I don't know, what
would you say agencies? Is thatthe proper way to say that?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, even if you havethe context of what, um, get to
that place where you canactually express certain things,
(48:25):
especially if you if you have atrend of holding on to things
you know, whether you're marriedor whether you're a child that
may be going through things orhaving issues with your parents,
you and your parents don't seeeye to eye or maybe you have
things going on on your job thatyou just feel like you can't
(48:45):
talk to anyone about i i cantell you from experience holding
those things in and just findingother things to do is only a
temporary fix is all and when Isay temporary, I mean like days,
sometimes hours is gonna isgoing to come back because it's
(49:07):
not that it's not that you'renecessarily looking for a
solution per se. The first thingto do is just to express
yourself and then give me atthat point you can collaborate
with the person that you'retalking to to maybe find a
solution you know, so but thefirst initial thing is to have
that conversation. The firstinitial thing is to get it off
(49:27):
of your heart get it get it isespecially if you can feel it if
you feel like a tight just waitin your stomach Are you just
because you know is bigger thanjust the mind because sometimes
when is when is affecting yourmind it literally affects your
body in a negative way,especially when it comes down to
(49:47):
stress and depression all thosethings so it'll just it have you
been just it literallydeteriorate, deteriorate. You
are to a point where once thatdamage is being done Oh Over and
over and over and over, it'llget to a point where you may
just feel like giving up. So tokind of help you get to the
point that you don't even reachthat place of feeling like
(50:09):
giving up because I've beenthere, I've been to the place
where I literally felt likegiving up, like, literally, so,
but had I had people who I feltlike I could trust had I had
this conversation, theseconversations that I had this
knowledge about mental health, alot of things that I've gone
through, went through in thatarea could have been prevented,
(50:32):
you know, so but I mean, I'm notregretting it, I got that
experience, I was able to growfrom it, I'm learning from it.
And um, isn't this still ajourney, it's not like a Sunday,
just you just have oneconversation. And it's over
with, you know, especially ifyou've gone through years and
years and years of things,building up and building up and
stacking and all this negativestuff just stacking on top of
(50:52):
each other, you got to get to apoint where you can find that
person that you that you trust,have that conversation with, get
those things off your chest, andnot necessarily looking for an
answer all the time. You know,just it's just even if you just
want to say, Hey, I'm having I'mhaving a bad day, you know, and
don't try to disguise that badday as a good day. If it's
making you feel bad. If you feelnegativity, don't don't try to
(51:18):
disguise it as a good day andjust try to brush it off. That's
what I did for years, I feltnegative energy, I felt bad
things. And instead ofaddressing it, I tried to some
kind of way convince myself thatit wasn't bad, and I just let it
go. But guess what it did, itcame right back up. And then it
came and then a year later, itcame right back up. And then I'm
(51:38):
bawling and crying and don'tknow why I'm crying and all
these things. So definitely, ifyou're listening, and you, you
don't you have not gotten tothat place yet where you are
even having these types ofconversations. Do that ASAP.
Like, do that asap. Don'tremember, because life is too
(51:58):
short. I mean, none of us knowwhen we're going to leave it. So
why not spend the time that youhave happy, if you're able to,
and you're able to because youcan express yourself, you just
have to be open enough to do it.
Find find someone find find agroup of people that you can
feel like that you can feel freewith like Don't, don't, don't
put yourself in areas where youfeel constricted. And when you
(52:22):
feel like you can't be yourselfand you feel like you got to
hide who you are, you got tolike you gotta hide how you
feel. Put yourself in a circleto where you can express
yourself. And people can keepyou accountable. People can say,
Hey, how you feeling today, Iremember what you told me
yesterday. So are you iseverything good. You need people
like that, to not just keep youon track, because they're
(52:43):
they're checking on you. Butthey're going through something
as well. So being out, you havea pattern of people helping each
other, and helping you got afree group of people just
helping each other grow and getto the place where we all want
to be, which is happy. You know,and spreading that joy and
spreading their happiness. Soyeah, don't know, don't don't
put these things to the side,definitely, consistently pursue
(53:04):
a walk of being free. And thatstarts with being honest with
yourself. That's the first thingI had to be under myself, and
realize that Antoine, I know yougot all this stuff going on. I
know you got dreams and goalsand you pursued all this stuff.
But that's not going to give youhappiness, if you're trying to
(53:26):
use that to bury things that youhave been through or you're
trying to use that to burytrauma, because you cannot bury
trauma. That is you can burylike any other thing, but you're
gonna smell it after a while, ifyou if you bury some dead animal
in your backyard. Eventually,once you start decomposing,
(53:47):
you're going to smell that thingbecause one thing you did was
put dirt on top of. So that'sthe thing. So don't plow things
and try to you know, spend a lotof money and just try to find
things to cover these things,the best thing to do is to
actually talk to someone to getthe ball rolling to mental
freedom. Because I can tell youfrom my own experience right
(54:09):
now, I was not really able tosay that I was just happy. I've
had happy moments. But beinghappy because the difference
happy moments and may have istwo different things. But so I
can really say that I feel likeI'm in a state of happiness
after having conversations. Thatwas very, very, very difficult.
(54:30):
I'm not gonna lie and say oh,just it just happened. No, I had
to kind of ease my way into it.
But once I got that first doseof expressing myself
after that is like okay, I'mliking this I'm liking the
effects because I'm feelingemotions and I'm feeling a sense
(54:50):
of freedom that I'm not reallyused to like I'm not used to
like this, like just happinessafter talking about some that
I've been having because there'ssomething that much that I've
been ashamed of, I was neverwant to tell them about it, I
went through depression, I want,I never want to tell anybody
that I had suicidal thoughts. Inever want to express that at
(55:10):
all. But once I expressed thosethings, it did the opposite of
what I thought it was going todo. Because I thought it was
gonna be a sense, like, peopledon't look at me funny, or judge
me or whatever. But it was theopposite. I had people who I
trust people who I love peoplewho love me, people who trust
me. And now if I have a moment,it's not anything for me to say,
(55:36):
Hey, I'm having a moment becauseI already told him I said, it,
it may be a time though I maycall you. And it may want to
express because we'll has gottenhis his dose will has gotten his
dose of, of me, of me having toexpress myself and him being the
(55:57):
person that he is, he was ableto actually help me feel
comfortable, more comfortablewith expressing myself. So I'm
thankful for you for even beingthat person in my life. I make
it it's no coincidence. It's nocoincidence that I moved to
Nashville, you know, we becameawesome friends. And you being
(56:20):
in the profession that you're inme going through the things that
I've been through, and neverhaving anyone to talk about and
never feeling comfortable at allto talk about it. And now I have
someone that has opened me up toa place where I can just talk
about it, and it makes me and itmakes me feel better. So it's
not it's bigger than just afriendship, you literally
(56:41):
changed my life. Like literally,like, it's bigger than just,
hey, we have fun together, welaugh and joke is bigger than
that, you changed my life to apoint where I probably wouldn't
be having this conversation. Youknow, so it's, it's, for me,
it's bigger than just, I mean,friendships are for a reason.
That's why That's why I'm sayingwhat I'm saying. Like find that
(57:02):
find that friend group that youcan be yourself, you can just
feel free with, because that'swhat changes your life. And my
music is better. Um, me cuttinghair, I'm happy when I'm cutting
hair, things in my life that I'mattached to. I feel better now
than I felt before I moved toNashville. So I'm just grateful
(57:26):
for you just for just being theperson that you are. And just
having the mindset that you haveand, and just being able to talk
to a person like myself and makeme feel comfortable and make me
feel like you're not lookingdown on me or looking looking,
looking at me like something iswrong, but really just made me
(57:47):
feel like the opposite. WhateverI'm feeling I can come to you.
So it's not anything. It's notone thing that I am too ashamed
of to not come to you andexpress because I how you opened
the door and created this thing.
This how you basically just madethe friendship just so free. You
know. And so yes, this isawesome. I appreciate you.
(58:16):
Think Antoine think you startedwith the man in the mirror.
Yeah. You just help a lot ofpeople. Appreciate you. I
appreciate you. It takes a lotto be vulnerable. Yeah. But the
(58:41):
power that it is in sharing yourown story. Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you, mypleasure. Awesome.
Erika Lathon (59:02):
Tn voices is now hiring qualified applicants to
build positions all across thestate. You can be part of a
growing team that puts themental health of Tennesseans
first and thrive in acompassionate work environment
to apply to join our team log onto tn voices.org/employment.
(59:36):
Thank you for joining us. If youenjoyed today's program, like
subscribe and review thispodcast. If you or someone you
know is in need of mental healthsupport services, log on to tn
voices.org or call one 806 70988to join us next time as we get
(59:59):
candid
Candide is a podcast of Tennessee voices
about mental health, featuringstories of people who have
overcome mental healthchallenges, as well as those who
have helped people overcomemental health challenges. This
podcast is about authenticity.
And it's intended to give avoice to those who are
passionate about mental wellbeing. We hope that by sharing
stories, listeners willunderstand mental health and how
(00:26):
important it is and help usreduce stigma. We want you to
know that so many who havestruggled with mental health can
and did overcome theirchallenges. And if you are
struggling, you can too. I'myour host, Ricky Harris, CEO of
Tennessee voices, and with me ismy favorite co host, will Voss
CEO of Tennessee voices. Welcometo our podcast, let's get
(00:51):
candid.
So 2020 and 2021 have obviouslybeen unprecedented years in our
nation, people have reallystruggled on everything that's
going on in the last 18 monthsor so. And we started to
(01:12):
understand that more people arereaching out needing mental
health services because there's,there's a feeling that they
don't know how to deal with.
It's something new. It'ssomething that is not pleasant.
And sometimes it's described asyou know, feeling anxious or
depressed. But not everyone isclinically anxious or depressed,
but rather they're feeling afeeling called languishing.
Brian Sullivan (01:41):
Watch story of hope streaming now on the
Tennessee voices network AT T Edvoices.org. And while you're
there, check out resources likeour online library, mental
health factsheets and a guidedmeditation to help you move from
languishing to flourishing.
Rikki Harris (01:58):
Fabulous. Welcome to this episode of candid. I'm
your host, Ricky Harris, and myco host,
Will Voss (02:05):
will vos EO.
Rikki Harris (02:08):
I'm super excited about this episode will because
we interviewed our hair people,my hairdresser, your barbers.
And we did that for a number ofreasons. Certainly, I had some
thoughts about why What were youthinking when I said, Hey, let's
interview people who do ourhair,
Will Voss (02:29):
you know, my mind immediately thought they
probably they probably could belicensed as much as they hear.
They hear a lot, you hear a lotof a lot of concerns from their
clients. And they're probablyexperts in the field by now.
Right?
Rikki Harris (02:43):
Right. I had the same thought or what
Will Voss (02:45):
came up for us. Um, you mentioned gossip, and I
spoke to Antoine about, youknow, growing up going to the
barbershop with my dad on aSaturday night driving in, that
was the only day you could go.
And my mother would joke with usoften and say, you know, I
believe that y'all gossip moreat the barber shop, up shop. And
you know, with Anton, he he'sgot his own shop now. And he
(03:08):
talked about how people come in,and they're looking for
listening here. And I thoughtabout it, and I said, You know
what, we were gettingcomfortable, you know, we're in
a comfort zone, and we juststart talking. We feel
comfortable with a trustedindividual. And we just need
that listening ear and somebodythat's making us feel good. And
(03:29):
you know, just letting us know,you know, yep, I'm an additional
support that you never eventhought about. Because the motto
was always what said in thebarber shop stays in the barber
shop. You know, when you're withyour barber, that's a
relationship that you built, andit's grown over the years. So
it's those conversations aboutmental health. They come up more
often than we even think.
Rikki Harris (03:52):
Yeah, yeah. And and in your case, your barber
actually has some experience onthe field.
Will Voss (03:58):
Yes, he's got experience in the field, you
know, which he he'll talk aboutduring his his segment. And also
they'll talk about his ownexperience. So often we we
equate, you know, barbers andhairstylist to an artist, it is
an art that they are doing forus. My friends would joke a
barber can make or break yougetting a date. You want to be
(04:22):
able to come out, you know,looking looking much better than
the way you went in. And youknow, he talks about his own
lived experience and what itwhat it was like for him growing
up in the South in a black mangoing through mental health
struggles and not having anybodyto talk about it. Trying to find
these avenues. And you knowwhat? Cutting hair became one of
(04:43):
those avenues as a getaway toeverything that was everything
bad that was going on. And itbecame an art it became a talent
and he's on the flip sidehelping people you know, even
when he was doing socialmarketing with us, you'll hear
me about how that was a lifechanging experience, to no
(05:04):
longer be cutting hair andlistening, but getting the word
out about mental health viasocial marketing. It's something
that we don't think about doing.
But we're on our phones all dayall night. Yep, to be able to
have someone scroll up and seesomething about mental health.
It's encouraging. You never knowwho you're going to reach. Yeah,
Rikki Harris (05:22):
yeah, it's so true. So that's interesting. One
of the things you said, struckme that we should probably tell
listeners that we have someresources and things available.
Yes, people are needing to seekout help on different topics,
the first of which is an onlinelibrary that we can we can
access right through ourwebsite, tn places.org. And
(05:45):
search up things, self helprelated kinds of books,
downloads, free resources thatyou can access. So that's one
way but then maybe you couldtalk briefly about the app that
we're working on.
Will Voss (05:58):
Yeah, so we're working on an app, the Tennessee
screen app, and it is going tobe something that's really,
truly going to be able to get inwhat we hope will get in the
hands of many individuals thatare struggling with mental
health concerns. How do we workto prevent suicide? And how do
we provide these tools forcoping, if someone is thinking
(06:20):
about having suicidal ideationsor not going through that
difficult day, and they don'tknow what to do? And don't feel
that they have anyone to talkto? How can they access these
resources through an app rightthere in the palm of their
hands.
Rikki Harris (06:35):
I'm excited about it. And we're getting really
close to a release date. Socoming very soon, we're also
getting close to our virtualGala. And we decided, again,
this year not to do an in persongathering, but rather to do
something online. And what wereally wanted to focus on was
how can we continue to helpstrengthen the community, from
(06:58):
the feeling of languishing, justbeing stuck in this state that
we're in as a society, dealingwith all the things we've dealt
with in the last 18 months? Andfeeling kind of, blah, and how
can we move forward? And how canwe experience our joy again,
like we remember it pre, thelast 18 months. So that's
(07:20):
coming, and hopefully, very,very soon. Oh, by the way, I
should say, That's November 16.
It's going to streamers 16. Yes,yes. It's gonna stream on our
platforms. You can findinformation about it on our
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Dowe have a tick tock account?
Will Voss (07:38):
Yeah, but
Rikki Harris (07:39):
really do that?
Yeah. I mean, I don't know whatthe content will be. Because
Don't you have to have video?
See, I'm like not. I have noidea.
Will Voss (07:50):
That's what we're here for Ricky. We're here. Yes,
we have a tic tac that will becoming. So be on the lookout
listeners.
Rikki Harris (07:59):
Yes. And with that, we're also going to
release a guided meditation thatI wrote, and had the pleasure of
working with Bill Fondren, oneof our previous candid podcast
guest, who did the voice overfor that meditation, it is
amazing what happens when aprofessional reads, a guided
(08:20):
meditation the way it's supposedto be done, it sounds awesome.
So I'm really excited aboutthat, we're going to have some
music and some graphic put withthat and release that to the
public, which again, will bereleased on all of our social
channels, but also tmvoices.org. So lots coming. And
the reason behind it, maybe wecould take three minutes and
(08:42):
talk about why this is importantto us to provide all these
resources to the community.
So yes, I mean, first of all,how many people have told you
that they're struggling orfeeling some kind of way that
they don't understand or havenot experienced before?
Will Voss (09:03):
I mean, you hear it so so often, Ricky, and you
know, I even thought about, wetalk a lot about languishing and
think about my self care tips.
And where you go, we'll hearfrom our barber and my barber
and his hairstyle is going tothe barbershop is a part of my
(09:24):
self care. And it got to thepoint where I started not going
as often as, as I used to go,didn't feel like getting up and
going and just wanted to beatmyself. And I know that that was
not like me. I'm always tryingto make sure that I've got a
(09:47):
crisp line and maybe here andthere. But that was at that
moment where I realized you knowwhat, it's something something's
not right. something's a littleoff and you hear so often. You
You know, I've talked to manyfriends about languishing, you
know, since the conversationstarted between you and I, and a
lot of people are starting tofeel, or they're feeling better
that they now have a term toequate to how they've been
(10:11):
feeling. No, it's notdepression, you know, but it's
a, it's a different feeling.
It's an odd feeling a state ofbeing, and I've never been there
before. And some people arelosing some joy over there. So
to be able to get the word outabout, you know, what, hey, I'm
experiencing this too. And hereare some tips and tools that can
(10:34):
help you get through it. Andmost importantly, let people
know that you can get throughit. You know, we're living proof
that it's possible. And we'realso improved to let you know
that we're here to support youand walk with you along that
journey.
Rikki Harris (10:49):
Yeah, I agree. I mean, one of the things I think
that we can we can do for thecommunity is trying to help move
them from languishing toflourishing. And I literally
wrote that as a missionstatement that we want to help
people find their joy. And allof this that's been happening.
And I'm excited about that. Thepodcast, I think, is one effort
(11:12):
to do that just to help hearfrom everybody else about what's
been going on with them, and howthey're coping. Because this is
not a one size fits all. This isa will throw a bunch of ideas at
you. We hope you'll trysomething that helps you and
moves you on to a betterposition. Hopefully you feel
like you are flourishing, andfinding joy again, and all that
(11:36):
all that's going on in theworld. So I'm excited about this
episode, you guys are going toenjoy it.
Erika Lathon (11:42):
We'll be right back after this short break.
Vicki Yates (11:48):
A new podcast is not only shining a light on
mental health, but showingothers that they can overcome
their struggles. NewsChannelfive Sina slim gives us a first
look at candidate
Seena Sleem (12:02):
it's called candid but spelled this way for a
reason. manded is
Rikki Harris (12:06):
a podcast of Tennessee voices about mental
health.
Seena Sleem (12:09):
Each episode will have guests telling their
stories of struggle when itcomes to mental health and
sharing how they can have didovercome their challenges
shoulders like postpartumdepression. For co host Ricky
Harris,
Rikki Harris (12:21):
it was the first time that I really didn't know
what to do with my own mentalhealth. I mean, I have a lot of
coping skills and I had a lot ofeducation and training in the
area. And I needed help duringthat time. And so seeking out
therapy, and even looking at theoptions of taking medication for
me were just really scary andfeelings
Seena Sleem (12:43):
of anxiety for CO hosts well Boss,
Will Voss (12:45):
what is my purpose, you know, and really kind of
filling down a lot of times asfar as Oh, I'm never gonna
amount to this or never amountto that.
Seena Sleem (12:51):
During the pandemic mental health struggles have
only been amplified people
Rikki Harris (12:55):
were turning more toward substances during the
pandemic. suicides wereincreasing during the pandemic,
concerns for people's lives werereally serious.
Seena Sleem (13:07):
The podcast is another way to help people cope,
Will Voss (13:10):
okay to not be okay, and you are not alone. We are
here we are here to help and to
Seena Sleem (13:17):
expand resources to those that need it, especially
in rural areas, seamlessly.
NewsChannel five.
Vicki Yates (13:25):
Now, if you want to give the podcast a listen, it's
available on all major platformslike Spotify and Amazon music.
If you or someone you know isdealing with a mental health
challenge and want to reach outfor help. We have a whole list
of resources on our website.
NewsChannel five.com.
Erika Lathon (13:42):
Welcome back.
Will Voss (13:46):
Arabic. All right.
Good morning. Good morning. Yes,yes. Yes. I'm Wilbur Ross. I'm
the CEO here at Tennessee voicesand joining me this morning is
my good friend and my barber yo,Antoine cook. Good morning. Good
morning. Good morning on always.
I'm good. I'm good. I reallyappreciate you for joining me on
(14:09):
this can dad podcast? Yes, yes.
You know, we've been talking alot with individuals about their
own lived experience, how theycan continue to support mental
health and assisting anddecreasing the stigma. And Ricky
and I were thinking, you know,who deals a lot with hearing
stories, and encountering peoplewho may be struggling with
(14:32):
mental health and not evenrealizing it was our hairstylist
and our Barber. And I wanted toreach out to you and really have
a good conversation and see howwe can help listeners who really
may be struggling and not knowwhat to do and also help those
in the in a profession that wedon't even think that is a
helping profession. So Antoinefor listeners, I mean, I've
(14:55):
known you a while but tell us alittle bit about your
background. Who is AntoineCooke? Well, how long have you
been doing what you do? What doyou do? Oh, I do, I do quite a
bit. I'm originally from Mobile,Alabama born and raised live
there for quite some time movedto family moved to Hattiesburg,
(15:18):
Mississippi with that that arealived there for some while for
some time. So yeah, I've beenpretty much living in the South,
the Deep South, like all of mylife. So moving here is the most
northern that I've been. So Iknow some people still consider
it as the South no natural forme. I don't consider the North
(15:38):
but it's definitely morenorthern than what I'm used to.
So, um, yeah, so I mean, I'vebeen in the hair industry since
maybe 2009. That's when I wentto school, but I actually
started cutting hair. I'm in mydorm in college. So that was a
2000 baht. 2005 Maybe I wascutting my own hair, and people
(16:02):
are asking me to do theirs. Andthe neighbor started asking loan
last Oregon longer. So I decidedto get my license. And yeah, so
now I'm in I have my own place.
Now. I have my own shop inNashville. So yeah, it's been a
it's been a pretty eventfuljourney all these years. Yeah.
(16:26):
Yes, definitely. I candefinitely agree with that. And
you say you have your own shopnow. And it's called the legends
club. Yes, the lens. That's aunique name. What's the story
behind the legends club? Whyname it that? Well, really,
really the initially the thename came from, like, I'm a
(16:47):
musician and a singer. So I do alot with music. And I listened
to a lot of the legends like,you know, Michael Jackson,
Prince. I don't know Aerosmith.
Rolling Stone, I listen to a lotof like legends so that I
started hashtagging that, likeyears ago. And so when I when I
(17:08):
decided to open my own place, Iwas kind of struggling with
names. And I just thought, well,let me just use what I've always
been using legends club, andthen I then I thought about this
as well, like, well, the way Icut hair, I treat all of my
clients as if they're like, Itreat that that work as if
they're extremely important. SoI'll take and you know, I'm
(17:31):
very, very, very detailed. Whenit comes down to cutting hair,
I'm going after every strand,because in my mind, like, you
know, I will I'm cutting theirhair, how will my hair because
so I kind of look at that, likethe my clients are legends. So I
call it the legends club. And Ialso have this, this wall in my
suite that I'm that I'm buildingwhere all of my clients when
(17:55):
they come in, after the haircut,they're assigned the wall, like
a legends wall. And then Iboomerang gonna take a picture.
So that's kind of where thetheme legends club came from.
You know, and I think about itone, we appreciate it, you
definitely make us look likelegends when we leave. So thank
you so much. My pleasure.
(18:18):
I think about growing up inbarber shops, of course, you
know, my background, you know,growing up in the South moved to
the north. And the common themethat at all was going to the
barber shop, you know, Iremember days where I would go
to the barber shop with my dadon a Saturday morning and it was
packed, it was busy. And theconversations that you hear we
(18:38):
have a lot of fun at thebarbershop. Yeah. And we also
get into some real deepconversations. And you said you
focus on you know, I want tomake sure that, you know,
everybody feels like a legendbecause that's how you view
them. Talk to me about, youknow, difficult conversations
(18:59):
that you encounter. You know,how do you deal with the stories
that you hear? You know,especially those deep
conversations where, you know,men are diving into how they're
facing struggles with mentalhealth or things going on at
home? You know, how are youdealing with that? Because
that's a lot to hold on to whileyou're trying to cut here in
what 3045 minutes? Yeah, um, youknow, a lot of time I've
(19:25):
realized that is not that theguys that come in, it's not that
they really want an answer perse. A lot of times they just
want someone to listen. So Ikind of you know, as as I'm
cutting their hair, and I just Ikind of allow things to kind of
flow organically however, youknow, and I try to be, you know,
(19:45):
really personable to where, youknow, they can know they feel
like they can, you know, shareor just have a normal
conversation. A lot of timesit's not deep a lot of time it's
just, you know, just randomthings, but I do I do have
certain situations where youknow, they mean, you know,
clients mentioned things thatthey're going through, and, you
know, and I just, you know, I'vebeen engaged with them is, you
(20:07):
know, you know, just basicallyopen the door for them to
express themselves. So they, youknow, they feel comfortable. So,
and if it's something that Ihave had experience with, you
know, I'll know lightly share myexperience, or if it helps, and
then then we kind of get intothat dialogue. And, um, yeah,
and then the next haircut, Iasked that I say, Hi, how's it
going, you know, how youfeeling? You know, and then they
(20:29):
kind of just evolved from there.
And then I saw, you know,hearing about the progress and
good news here. Okay, thishappened, and Oh, yeah. So is,
is, is definitely a lot becauseI made like, my clientele is
growing, like every week. So I'mdefinitely hearing different
stories from different culturesand different, like people in
different backgrounds. So it'sdefinitely a variety. But I
(20:51):
realized that the commondenominator is that people
really just want someone tolisten to especially men, and
they just want somebody tolisten to them, you know, and
just kind of get things offtheir chest, you know, there
was, you know, something that Iread a few weeks ago, it was,
when someone begins to tell youtheir story, they're venting to
(21:14):
so often we want to jump in andgive our baits in our opinion.
And a lot of times what they'rereally wanting from us is just
someone to listen. Yeah, Iexplained to kids, when I when I
did therapy, youth and youngadults that holding all that in
is like putting pop rocks in acoke bottle and shaking it up.
There's a way in to slowlyrelease, whatever's been holding
(21:39):
you've been holding on to allright, a lot of times people are
just trying to do a slowrelease. And we often jump in
with those advices that advicein those opinions. And I've read
recently, where sometimes it'sgood to just stop and ask when
(21:59):
someone's talking. What are youneeding of me? Are you venting
so that I can give you advice?
Or do you need to listen here?
Yeah, so I can tell you, youknow, thank you for being that
listening ear for me. And Iprobably can speak on behalf of
the rest of your clients. But Iwas saying thanks. Because
sometimes we're coming in andyou know what, we're feeling
(22:20):
good. We're relaxed. We're in acomfortable state with someone
that we do trust. And it's goodto be able to have someone who
is listening here. Yeah. Youstated earlier, you know, he
said, especially for men thatjust want to want to vent. And
you know, I think it's you know,no matter what your what your
background is what your genderis, I think everybody you know
that struggling with somethingthey just want to vent. Yeah.
(22:42):
And then I think about the blackcommunity, right, you talked
about growing up immobile andliving in Hattiesburg. Now
Nashville and think aboutgrowing up in the black
community. We don't talk aboutmental health. No, we don't, you
know, there's so many reasons wecan dive into as to why we don't
talk about it. But I guess Iwant to get your opinion on, you
(23:04):
know, what are what are thingsthat we can do better, you know,
in the African Americancommunity to make sure that
we're speaking positively aboutmental health?
Initially, I mean, just from my,my experience, just being
educated, you know, in the area,I'm creating that awareness, and
(23:30):
not, you know, kind of sweepingthings under the rug, or just
kind of, you know, being passiveabout it. Or not even regarding
the topic, because I might, Ididn't hear about mental health
like this the term alone. UntilI was like, maybe close to 30. I
(23:53):
mean, no, we were all you hearit in commercials and stuff like
that, as far as, like, aconversation, someone I didn't
like, that didn't happen until,like, I got much older, you
know, just because, I mean, itjust it wasn't the topic wasn't
the thing, you know, a lot ofthings just kind of, you know,
just gets ignored and, you know,and kind of, maybe you're
pointing to another area that,you know, to try to veer off of
(24:17):
the topic, but it really is,it's mental health, you know,
that's, that's, that's thething. So, I would just say
definitely, I'm allowing,allowing ourselves to be like
more educated realizing theseverity of it, initially,
realizing that is, this is aserious thing, you know, it
(24:38):
could you know, at least beingaware of it being knowledgeable
about it could prevent you know,so many other issues or so many
things that we may and it couldeven prepare our kids in the
next generation for you know, ifit's something that is actually
addressed or more and I feellike as Tommy in this era, I
feel like it may the the topicmay have Um, you know, increased
(25:01):
a little bit more than I was inthe past, which is good. But it
definitely needs to be, like,definitely engaged consistently,
you know, especially in theblack community just to, so that
we can kind of understand, youknow, things that are going on
in our minds that we all knowthat it's not just me, you know,
I, it's not just me feeling thisway, you know, and so I think
(25:24):
that's extremely importantthing, some of the best advice,
the listeners can hear, isbecoming more educated, knowing
those signs and symptoms, whatto look for, you know, not
sweeping things under the rug,because people don't want to
feel like oh, you know, this isjust me going through it,
there's so many peopleexperiencing the same things,
(25:47):
and they need to know that, youknow, I'm not alone. And
someone, they can speakpositively about what's going
on, and someone, they can helpme on this walk, you know, to
make sure that I'm reaching mygoals that I've set out for
myself. I know that we've talkedabout, you know, dealing with
mental health and personalexperiences. So my question to
(26:09):
you, for listeners, what hasworked for you personally, what
has helped you reach your goals,while dealing with certain
things. Um, I will say, what hasreally helped me what has really
(26:30):
helped me reach goals, um, andsee them like, see, see the
goals, what they are, and thenactually know, and not having
something distractions isdefinitely addressing,
addressing the things that Ichose to cover up with doing
other stuff. See me, I engage ina lot. I mean, I'm just I'm an
(26:53):
artist. So it's easy for me tofind things to do. And that's,
and that's what I did for years.
For years, like the majority ofmy life. I'm 35 now, and
awesome. I'm just now getting tothe point probably around, I
don't know, 3332, where Iactually started facing things
(27:13):
that I have that I decided tojust cover up with another
activity or cover another hobby,or come up with another pursuit,
you know, so I mean, because Ido, I went from music and I went
from painting. And when, whenthings got tough, I just picked
up, I bought a saxophone, solearn the saxophone and that
(27:34):
when so when I got when that gotbored, I got bored that and then
the things my mind startedcoming up out, I started moving
Nashville, I mean, I justMy whole life has been spent
with me, I will say running fromthe things that I just needed to
face, and then I will have thattemporary peace, when I found
(27:56):
something new to do, becausethat would distract my mind,
I'll be so focused on it,because everything that I do, I
tune into it, and I just try toperfect it. So that would
distract me from the things thatI was not addressing in my mind.
But I got to a point where maybeI was maybe I was 34. But I just
(28:17):
I just broke down like ages, andit was no other hobby, or no
other instrument or no other.
Anything that I could find, togive me that piece. Because I
mean, because it gets to a pointwhere things just start piling
up, and start piling up andpiling up and piling up. And you
(28:40):
can only run from it for so longto where because my thing is I
just wasn't used to talking topeople. Like I didn't have that,
you know, growing up, it wasn't,hey, if you're going through
something, talk to me, you know,if you're feeling something and
talk to me, that wasn't thething with me growing up. So I
got so accustomed to the, tothe, to the ritual objects, if
you go through some fallsemester, do you know so, and I
(29:02):
got to the point where I just, Ijust started talking to people,
even you, you know, just the oh,by the time that I've known you,
like you've educated me so muchon just the the mental health
aspect. And that that opened meup a little bit more to be able
to feel comfortable because thisthis was a new thing for me a
new lifestyle. I mean, mylifestyle, my previous lifestyle
(29:23):
was just concealing, and, um,you know, presenting yourself,
you know, you know thateverybody sees you as the same
and I was good at that. But thething is, I what people saw
wasn't really what was going oninternally. And so I got to the
point where I just had to, Ijust have stopped talking to
people, and I realized, and it'sso crazy I look back at it. I'm
(29:47):
like, I feel so much betterafter talking to people but I
guess it is but it just wasn'tthe thing for me but not when
now that I've gotten into thehabit of when I feel some kind
of way or I feel some and I talktalk to somebody about it. Like
how all my clients talk to me.
And now I'm like, you know,okay, yeah. So it's easier now,
it's easier now to say, hey,we'll let me let me let me tell
(30:12):
you this is easy. We before, youknow, you know, it was just a
good, you know, just got to planit off. But yeah, so I
definitely say like, for me,talking to people. And it's
amazing, I just did not thinkthey would have that effect. I
really not, I'm gonna be honest,I did not think that simply
talking to someone about myissues, and things that I'm
(30:35):
going through, whether it'sdepression, or other things,
that way, no matter what it was,once I got those things out,
and, and with the person who Itrust, after the conversation is
like, it's so much lighter, likeI feel, I felt so much lighter.
And it's and then the nextdemonstration I saw was like,
I'm getting lighter and lighterand lighter. And I did not know
(30:57):
that something as simple ashaving a conversation with
someone could really have thattype of impact on your mind. So
that's why I say this, gettingthat education, and then
becoming aware of like, youknow, whatever mental issues you
have, and just finding thatplace to where you can actually
(31:20):
talk to someone is so so, socrucial. And this from our own
experience of holding things infor I'm like I said, I'm 35
like, so I'm just not getting tothe point where I'm like, I'm
comfortable now to actuallyexpress myself. So yeah, I love
it. It's I'm is I'm happier now,than what I've ever been in my
life. Like, in my entire life,I've had moments, I have moments
(31:42):
of happiness, I've hadachievements, you know, getting
a scholarship, going to collegewinning talent shows, and, and,
you know, getting hair andmakeup credits and movies. And
so I have all those things. Butall those things were just on
top of the things that I wasdeciding to hide. And so it
really didn't mean much. But nowit means all those goals and
(32:05):
achievements mean so much more,that I have more mental freedom.
So I'm definitely grateful forthat.
I can tell you that you justhelped so many people listening
today. Because we talk a lotabout you know how have
described it in the past, it'slike a plate, you know, a
(32:26):
sectional plate. You gotcarrots, peas, and mashed
potatoes on one thing Oh played.
And what we try to do is, youknow, for instance, if those
carrots and those peas arethings that we don't like things
that we don't want to deal with,we'll take those mashed potatoes
and start putting it on topcovering it up. And at the day,
you know, while we can't see itanymore, it's still there. Yeah,
(32:46):
we still have to deal with it.
Yeah, you just helped a lot ofpeople understand that too,
simply by talking. And then forsupporters simply by listening.
Yeah, you can help someoneachieve happiness. You can help
someone be able to have peace.
And know that yes, hope ispossible. Yeah. Because there
(33:09):
are so many people who arelosing hope due to the pandemic
and other things going on. Andthere are people who are at the
point where you know what Idon't even think hope is real.
They don't think that it's evenpossible. Yeah, just provided a
lot of hope. And pray now.
Appreciate that. Hey, I'm readyto do it. Someone Someone helped
(33:30):
me. So I'm glad to have someoneelse. Oh, yes. Yes, that's
that's the bit one of thebiggest purposes of this
podcast, someone to be able tosay, You know what, I can do it.
And then being able to look backand say, You know what, I did do
it? Yeah. Can it be yourself?
You mentioned a few thingsearlier, and one I want to come
back to was not only did youcall Nashville north and I was
(33:51):
gonna call you out. I'm like,you know, coming coming from
rural aids down south. is fine.
But you you mentioned, you know,in dealing with things moved to
Nashville was one of those, youknow, kind of coping mechanisms.
You were writing. And you movedup here, I will never forget it.
(34:14):
You moved up here in February of2020. That was when things were
still open. Right. You moved uphere prior to a tornado. You
moved up here prior to thepandemic going on lockdown.
Right. And then we also had abombing here in Nashville
(34:39):
downtown. I mean, right aroundthe corner from where we've gone
out before. You know, we we'vehad so much to be grateful and
thankful for during all of this.
I wanted to ask how has thatplayed an impact On you reaching
those goals and being in controlof your mental health, dealing
(35:04):
with all of those differentchanges and transitions, because
thankfully you did stay, youknow, we're not gonna let you go
leave Nashville now. Yeah, yeah,it's a lot to have to deal with.
And on top of that, you openedup a whole new shop this year.
True, true. Honestly, Sylvianeis my outlook on all the all the
(35:25):
events, the you know, theshutdown and all that. I will
say, coming from where I camefrom the, I think I would have
much rather been here duringthose times, then where I was
living at. Um, but but one thingone thing you did for me though,
(35:48):
and I'm, I'm grateful that Imoved here, right before all of
that for just for one reason. Istarted following all of like,
the Nashville pages and stufflike that when I when I moved
here. So when, when all of theseevents took place, I saw
something that I haven't, thatI've never seen before living in
(36:11):
the areas I lived in, I sawpeople and businesses pause what
they were doing, and showconcern for the community and go
out of their way.
Not being compensated not notfor cloud or not forgot to be
(36:32):
seen, but really, genuinelygoing out of their way to help
those who suffered loss in thosetimes. And our businesses
shutting down saying, you know,we're going to, we're going to
close down in memory of our justout of respect for so and so. So
I'm seeing all these things andseeing how people are natural
(36:55):
and just from and they're notjust, you know, just people who
are just, you know, I don'tknow, just not really having
like businesses, but likebusiness owners and like, is
just a booming, I was alwaysjust watching these pages,
scrolling down the timeline,seeing all the memes and support
and raising money here. And ifyou want to give to this, and
(37:19):
all all proceeds is gonna gotoward these families. And so
I'm seeing all of this. And, andit was that was good for me.
That was good for me, becausenow it helps is helping me train
me being a business ownermyself, if something like that
comes up again, because I'vebeen exposed to it. And I'm
(37:40):
drawn to that type of energy,that type of mindset. It's gonna
be easy for me when somethinglike that happens. Okay, cool.
So we're going to, I'm going togive this amount to someone so
because it's so it's like, it'salmost like I was able to see
that and it helped me to, Iguess, adapt that lifestyle and
adopt adapt that mindset forwhen something is, you know, in
(38:03):
a way, you know, God forbid, ifsomething like that come up
again. You know, it's like,that's, that's awesome. I mean,
just to selflessly look out forsomeone to that magnitude. So
yeah, you know, it was it was itwas definitely like a definitely
tragedies you know, and, butit's so much I feel like it's so
much good came out of it, youknow, just kind of people being
(38:24):
able to come together and youknow, join and join forces to
actually help better the peoplewho may have suffered loss. So
I'm not for me,you know, I, after my place shut
down, I worked at boardroom soafter the place that I worked
at, shut down, I was able towork at Tennessee voices for for
(38:45):
a little while. So and thatalone, me working at Tennessee
voices alone helped my mind toevolve. So I'm kind of grateful
for the pandemic, in a sense, inthe sense that I was able to
stop one area of my life, whichwas cutting hair, something that
(39:07):
I'm used to, to be able to focuson, you know, I was doing social
marketing, but I had to readthings and, and come up with
things to try to put out toencourage people and that's
something that I had not reallydone. I'm not a lot of in the
mental health field. So and justhaving those zoom calls needed
(39:28):
here and hearing y'all talkabout different things and it
was the education that Ireceived from working with
Tennessee voices that changed meas a person. So I'm grateful for
that time that I was able to youknow, you know, meet Ricky and
like all of the staff and youand I just all just just to kind
of see how you guys interact andengaging and talk about mental
(39:50):
health and the end user you guysdo is such ease and just kind of
you know, just go into it inyour hearts in it. It that that
changed me. And it kind ofhelped me get a better view on
how I should view mental health,and how I should make it a
priority. And how I should, youknow, advocate to be an advocate
and maybe want other people tobe aware of it and want other
(40:14):
people to be educated about it.
So that that impacted my life ina way that I feel that was
necessary for me opening my ownplace. So me opening my own
barber shop and being inrelationship with so many
people, I felt like I neededthat that insight and training
from, from Tennessee voices inthe midst in a more deeper
(40:37):
mental health. Not that I got,like, super deep into it, but
just a little bit that I wasexposed to, um, it just gave me
a different perspective on onmental health in general. And so
for me, though, that whole shutdown era, it was a learning
period for me, in regards tomental health, it was a changing
(41:02):
period. For me, it was a periodwhere I was able to start
thinking about calling my momand calling my dad, because this
is a conversation that myparents, like my siblings, we
don't have these conversations.
So after being exposed to it,now my mindset is like, I want
to talk to my dad about somestuff, I want to stuff that
we've never talked about stuffthat we've never talked about, I
(41:26):
want to talk to my mom, I wantto, I want to see see how my
brother, my sister feels aboutthis. So like, so being exposed
to it. And that's why I say theeducation part is so important,
because now that I'm exposed toit, and I was able to be exposed
to it just from that shutdowntime, but now that I'm exposed
to it, the way I look at myfamily is different. I see
(41:46):
issues in my family differently.
My approach to issues in myfamily is different. Um, now
instead of going to my fatherand just having a conversation
with them. I know I can go tohim now and ask them questions.
Hey, Dad, how do you? How do youfeel about this? Oh, you know,
(42:08):
um, even when we were younger,you know, this have we never
talked about it? We're like, youknow, what, how did you how did
you feel about me? You know,just, and I have a better
insight, you know, how to handlethings. So it's a beautiful
thing for me, you know, let metell you something. So this is
one of the earlier podcastsrecordings. I probably should
get it out now. But I can beemotional. You know, I'm never
(42:31):
afraid to say it. You aredefinitely trying to take me
there today. Yeah, that was itwas a lot going on lockdown. And
of course, we're both extrovertshaving to isolate, you know, and
figure out how do we check inwith people it is, it was a lot,
(42:54):
it was a lot I can tell you, I'mso thankful and grateful for our
friendship. And, you know, evenbeing able to have someone who,
you know, you come from similarbackgrounds, right? We were both
raised in the south. Now. Yeah,I grew up and lived in a North
(43:15):
bed, that Southern culture, Katestay wherever we went. Yeah. And
you know, coming from somethingthat a lot of times you don't
see in the black community,which is a come from two parent
household.
You know, having some with onthat level, knowing what it was
like, and then sibling you know,you have more than I do, but
(43:38):
being able to have thoseconversations with them, someone
to connect with, andunderstanding the importance of
you know, connecting with brandsand friends become family. Yeah.
You stated that, you know, youenjoyed your time here. And it,
definitely it makes us feel goodhearing those type of things.
Because our goal is to make surethat people feel welcome when
(44:00):
they're working here. Yeah.
Also, I joke with stamp. Often Isay we are like a family may not
always agree on certain things.
But at the end of the day, weput those differences aside to
get the job done. And make surethat we are helping each other
so that we can best help thefamilies that we work with,
because it's bigger than us. Itis bigger than us. Yeah, I'm not
(44:25):
going to get too deep thismorning. Don't do it. I guess my
final question to you Antoine,as we begin to wrap up. You and
I have connected on a lot ofthings. And music is a big one.
(44:45):
I should have told you to bringyour keyboard to this recording.
You should I should have Ishould have maybe next time
maybe next time as we bring youon. But I want to ask you this
What is a song that is help getyou out of those moments where
(45:08):
you're feeling down thosemoments where you needed some
type of extra push to keepgoing. And as you're thinking, I
know you and I, we list a littlebit of everything and yeah, I
named songs for the next 24hours. So as you think I'm gonna
tell you, it was for me, I waslistening to what I hear this
(45:32):
morning. After, yes, thismorning, it was Justin
Timberlake. I got a feeling.
Okay, he stopped. I'm sorry, Iapologize, cane stopped feeling.
That is what I was aiming tocoming into work. Okay, I will
say for me, for me, this all Ican probably just replay and
(45:56):
replay and just just get thisstuff get this awesome feeling
and, and I don't know, you justkind of get that perspective,
it's probably gonna be man inthe mirror. But my nice, yeah,
it's probably gonna be likethat, that song. Like, just, it
just, it just, it helps me clearmy mind of like any, any pre
(46:17):
existing, just negative ofoutlets, it helps me to, you
know, sell people and not like,you know, try to, I don't know,
look at him in a certain way.
Because of you know, I don'tknow, maybe just reminded me,
(46:38):
somebody's rude to me orsomething, oh, I'll just say I'm
cutting someone's hair. And Idon't know, it's just a rude
interaction, you know, the songslike that particular song, it
helps me to focus on myself. Sothat I can still because if both
of us are negative, then thisisn't this, this haircut is not
going to go to zero. So I justdid have this on man. And, you
(46:58):
know, if you want to make theworld a better place, take a
look at yourself and make achange, you know. And so that's
all and not only just though,the lyrics is, you know, it's
just jamming. You know, I likethose of you that are listening
now. He's actually he's dancingright now. Just try to envision
that based on what you hear.
Yes, that is awesome. Any finalwords you want to leave
(47:21):
listeners today? Um, I would sayI would say anybody that's out
there listening and you've been,you know, considering maybe
talking to someone, maybe Imean, maybe you're, you're maybe
this is your first timelistening, first time engaging,
or hearing this type ofconversation. Um, you know, my,
(47:42):
my thing would be just based offmy own experiences, you know,
don't be afraid to, don't beafraid to trust someone. You
know, I know, I know, it may itmay take time, especially if you
may have been through somethingthey have caused you to have,
that may have caused stressissues within yourself. But if
(48:03):
you able to find someone thatyou can trust, even if you have
to go to, you know, contact inan actual, I don't know, what
would you say agencies? Is thatthe proper way to say that?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, even if you havethe context of what, um, get to
that place where you canactually express certain things,
(48:25):
especially if you if you have atrend of holding on to things
you know, whether you're marriedor whether you're a child that
may be going through things orhaving issues with your parents,
you and your parents don't seeeye to eye or maybe you have
things going on on your job thatyou just feel like you can't
(48:45):
talk to anyone about i i cantell you from experience holding
those things in and just findingother things to do is only a
temporary fix is all and when Isay temporary, I mean like days,
sometimes hours is gonna isgoing to come back because it's
(49:07):
not that it's not that you'renecessarily looking for a
solution per se. The first thingto do is just to express
yourself and then give me atthat point you can collaborate
with the person that you'retalking to to maybe find a
solution you know, so but thefirst initial thing is to have
that conversation. The firstinitial thing is to get it off
(49:27):
of your heart get it get it isespecially if you can feel it if
you feel like a tight just waitin your stomach Are you just
because you know is bigger thanjust the mind because sometimes
when is when is affecting yourmind it literally affects your
body in a negative way,especially when it comes down to
(49:47):
stress and depression all thosethings so it'll just it have you
been just it literallydeteriorate, deteriorate. You
are to a point where once thatdamage is being done Oh Over and
over and over and over, it'llget to a point where you may
just feel like giving up. So tokind of help you get to the
point that you don't even reachthat place of feeling like
(50:09):
giving up because I've beenthere, I've been to the place
where I literally felt likegiving up, like, literally, so,
but had I had people who I feltlike I could trust had I had
this conversation, theseconversations that I had this
knowledge about mental health, alot of things that I've gone
through, went through in thatarea could have been prevented,
(50:32):
you know, so but I mean, I'm notregretting it, I got that
experience, I was able to growfrom it, I'm learning from it.
And um, isn't this still ajourney, it's not like a Sunday,
just you just have oneconversation. And it's over
with, you know, especially ifyou've gone through years and
years and years of things,building up and building up and
stacking and all this negativestuff just stacking on top of
(50:52):
each other, you got to get to apoint where you can find that
person that you that you trust,have that conversation with, get
those things off your chest, andnot necessarily looking for an
answer all the time. You know,just it's just even if you just
want to say, Hey, I'm having I'mhaving a bad day, you know, and
don't try to disguise that badday as a good day. If it's
making you feel bad. If you feelnegativity, don't don't try to
(51:18):
disguise it as a good day andjust try to brush it off. That's
what I did for years, I feltnegative energy, I felt bad
things. And instead ofaddressing it, I tried to some
kind of way convince myself thatit wasn't bad, and I just let it
go. But guess what it did, itcame right back up. And then it
came and then a year later, itcame right back up. And then I'm
(51:38):
bawling and crying and don'tknow why I'm crying and all
these things. So definitely, ifyou're listening, and you, you
don't you have not gotten tothat place yet where you are
even having these types ofconversations. Do that ASAP.
Like, do that asap. Don'tremember, because life is too
(51:58):
short. I mean, none of us knowwhen we're going to leave it. So
why not spend the time that youhave happy, if you're able to,
and you're able to because youcan express yourself, you just
have to be open enough to do it.
Find find someone find find agroup of people that you can
feel like that you can feel freewith like Don't, don't, don't
put yourself in areas where youfeel constricted. And when you
(52:22):
feel like you can't be yourselfand you feel like you got to
hide who you are, you got tolike you gotta hide how you
feel. Put yourself in a circleto where you can express
yourself. And people can keepyou accountable. People can say,
Hey, how you feeling today, Iremember what you told me
yesterday. So are you iseverything good. You need people
like that, to not just keep youon track, because they're
(52:43):
they're checking on you. Butthey're going through something
as well. So being out, you havea pattern of people helping each
other, and helping you got afree group of people just
helping each other grow and getto the place where we all want
to be, which is happy. You know,and spreading that joy and
spreading their happiness. Soyeah, don't know, don't don't
put these things to the side,definitely, consistently pursue
(53:04):
a walk of being free. And thatstarts with being honest with
yourself. That's the first thingI had to be under myself, and
realize that Antoine, I know yougot all this stuff going on. I
know you got dreams and goalsand you pursued all this stuff.
But that's not going to give youhappiness, if you're trying to
(53:26):
use that to bury things that youhave been through or you're
trying to use that to burytrauma, because you cannot bury
trauma. That is you can burylike any other thing, but you're
gonna smell it after a while, ifyou if you bury some dead animal
in your backyard. Eventually,once you start decomposing,
(53:47):
you're going to smell that thingbecause one thing you did was
put dirt on top of. So that'sthe thing. So don't plow things
and try to you know, spend a lotof money and just try to find
things to cover these things,the best thing to do is to
actually talk to someone to getthe ball rolling to mental
freedom. Because I can tell youfrom my own experience right
(54:09):
now, I was not really able tosay that I was just happy. I've
had happy moments. But beinghappy because the difference
happy moments and may have istwo different things. But so I
can really say that I feel likeI'm in a state of happiness
after having conversations. Thatwas very, very, very difficult.
(54:30):
I'm not gonna lie and say oh,just it just happened. No, I had
to kind of ease my way into it.
But once I got that first doseof expressing myself
after that is like okay, I'mliking this I'm liking the
effects because I'm feelingemotions and I'm feeling a sense
(54:50):
of freedom that I'm not reallyused to like I'm not used to
like this, like just happinessafter talking about some that
I've been having because there'ssomething that much that I've
been ashamed of, I was neverwant to tell them about it, I
went through depression, I want,I never want to tell anybody
that I had suicidal thoughts. Inever want to express that at
(55:10):
all. But once I expressed thosethings, it did the opposite of
what I thought it was going todo. Because I thought it was
gonna be a sense, like, peopledon't look at me funny, or judge
me or whatever. But it was theopposite. I had people who I
trust people who I love peoplewho love me, people who trust
me. And now if I have a moment,it's not anything for me to say,
(55:36):
Hey, I'm having a moment becauseI already told him I said, it,
it may be a time though I maycall you. And it may want to
express because we'll has gottenhis his dose will has gotten his
dose of, of me, of me having toexpress myself and him being the
(55:57):
person that he is, he was ableto actually help me feel
comfortable, more comfortablewith expressing myself. So I'm
thankful for you for even beingthat person in my life. I make
it it's no coincidence. It's nocoincidence that I moved to
Nashville, you know, we becameawesome friends. And you being
(56:20):
in the profession that you're inme going through the things that
I've been through, and neverhaving anyone to talk about and
never feeling comfortable at allto talk about it. And now I have
someone that has opened me up toa place where I can just talk
about it, and it makes me and itmakes me feel better. So it's
not it's bigger than just afriendship, you literally
(56:41):
changed my life. Like literally,like, it's bigger than just,
hey, we have fun together, welaugh and joke is bigger than
that, you changed my life to apoint where I probably wouldn't
be having this conversation. Youknow, so it's, it's, for me,
it's bigger than just, I mean,friendships are for a reason.
That's why That's why I'm sayingwhat I'm saying. Like find that
(57:02):
find that friend group that youcan be yourself, you can just
feel free with, because that'swhat changes your life. And my
music is better. Um, me cuttinghair, I'm happy when I'm cutting
hair, things in my life that I'mattached to. I feel better now
than I felt before I moved toNashville. So I'm just grateful
(57:26):
for you just for just being theperson that you are. And just
having the mindset that you haveand, and just being able to talk
to a person like myself and makeme feel comfortable and make me
feel like you're not lookingdown on me or looking looking,
looking at me like something iswrong, but really just made me
(57:47):
feel like the opposite. WhateverI'm feeling I can come to you.
So it's not anything. It's notone thing that I am too ashamed
of to not come to you andexpress because I how you opened
the door and created this thing.
This how you basically just madethe friendship just so free. You
know. And so yes, this isawesome. I appreciate you.
(58:16):
Think Antoine think you startedwith the man in the mirror.
Yeah. You just help a lot ofpeople. Appreciate you. I
appreciate you. It takes a lotto be vulnerable. Yeah. But the
(58:41):
power that it is in sharing yourown story. Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you, mypleasure. Awesome.
Erika Lathon (59:02):
Tn voices is now hiring qualified applicants to
build positions all across thestate. You can be part of a
growing team that puts themental health of Tennesseans
first and thrive in acompassionate work environment
to apply to join our team log onto tn voices.org/employment.
(59:36):
Thank you for joining us. If youenjoyed today's program, like
subscribe and review thispodcast. If you or someone you
know is in need of mental healthsupport services, log on to tn
voices.org or call one 806 70988to join us next time as we get
(59:59):
candid
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.