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Unknown (00:05):
CAN+DID is a podcast of
TN Voices about mental health,
featuring stories of people whohave overcome mental health
challenges, as well as those whohave helped people overcome
mental health challenges. Thispodcast is about authenticity.
And it's intended to give avoice to those who are
passionate about mental wellbeing. We hope that by sharing
(00:27):
stories, listeners understandmental health and just how
important it is in our day today lives, and they will help us
reduce stigma. We want you toknow that so many who have
struggled with mental health CANand DID overcome their
challenges. And if you arestruggling, you can too. I'm
your host, Rikki Harris, CEO ofTN Voices. And with me as my
(00:52):
favorite co host, Will Ross, COOof TN Voices. Welcome to our
podcast. Let's get candid!The Tennessee voices annual
Green Ribbon gala, currentlyknown as the Tennessee voices
(01:14):
online edutainment value addedshow will be held Tuesday,
November 16 2021. Starting at7pm on Facebook Live, the event
will focus on the idea oflanguishing, which is defined as
suffering from being forced toremain in an unpleasant place or
situation and failure to makeprogress or be successful.
(01:37):
languishing is a common feelingthat many Tennesseans are
encountering, even now, as wehopefully move out of this long
COVID season, seeking to findgreater normalcy and move
forward. Looking to the start ofa better year in 2022.
Tennesseans need help hope andpractical tools to help them
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move forward from languishing toflourishing. Tennessee voices
will provide a 15 to 20 minuteeducational show that will
address these issues and solicitfunds to continue supporting the
mental health needs of allTennesseans. Mark your calendars
again. That's Tuesday, November16 2021. Starting at 7pm on
(02:24):
Facebook Live, we're thrilled tohave you join us.
We appreciate you joining ustoday bill on the candid
Podcast. I am your host RickyHarris. I'm the CEO at Tennessee
voices and my co hostI'm a favorite co host will boss
(02:45):
the CEO here at Tennessee voicesand we have with us bill Fondren
bill, tell us about yourself.
Well, my wife and I have livedhere in the Nashville area since
the end of 95. I've worked inradio off and on since then,
(03:06):
more recently working on amemoir with a collaborative
writer about my experiences withbipolar two disorder. So that's
kind of been a big part of mystory, I try not to let it
define me. But at the same time,I don't want to minimize the
impact.
So this is why you're a perfectguest for this podcast. Because
(03:26):
what we wanted to do with thisweek, we just imagined a place
where people could speak freelyabout their journey through
mental health struggles, andspeak to others who may be
having struggles and tell themhow they made it through. Maybe
they're on the other side, maybethey're in the middle, but
they're working their waythrough that journey and what's
(03:48):
working for them. So we learnfrom each other. And you're very
open about your background, yourdiagnosis, and we are super
excited to kind of hear yourjourney today. So I'm going to
be quiet and I want to hear fromyou. Just wherever you want to
start. Okay,I'm, I'm 52 years old now, I was
diagnosed when I was 33. But Ithink when the symptoms first
(04:12):
kicked in was probably around 18or 19 years old when I was at
college, a major stressful eventcan do that can trigger the
bipolar disorder. And it'stypical for the late teens,
early 20s. Although notexclusive, people could do get
diagnosed much earlier or muchlater. But I went to William and
Mary up in Virginia in struggledand I felt like Why can I not
(04:36):
function like everyone else. Itwasn't just a matter of
struggling academically it wasjust struggling socially
struggling in every way. And Icouldn't understand it. I
thought maybe because I didn'thave a direction after school
that I wasn't as focused as somepeople, things like that. But I
couldn't explain it went out toVail, Colorado for a couple
(04:58):
winters is a ski bomb afterthat. And it was nice, but I
noticed something was different.
When we have extended cloudcover, I couldn't put a finger
on it. But it was SeasonalAffective stuff, which is
typical for folks with a mooddisorder, and not necessarily
with a mood disorder. From theirback to Memphis where I grew up,
(05:19):
worked on a master's incommunication at the University
of Memphis, got good gradesthere. So I knew I wasn't
stupid. I just struggled atWilliam and Mary, because of
the, all the other things goingon, and not understanding what
was going on. But I met my wife,Mimi, when I was working at a
radio station in Memphis, wedated for a couple of years, and
from there, went out to Coloradobriefly and then ended up in
(05:41):
Nashville at the end of 95. AndI got involved in radio slowly
but surely here, it took a whileto break into the scene. But I
worked at WP ln the public radiostation, some work at lightning
100, then traffic reporting frommultiple stations. But the first
go around with the radio,something was just not clicking.
(06:02):
And I was struggling to holddown jobs and keep them for a
period of time, I would getburned out, I would get bored, I
would quit something would gowrong every time I'd find a
reason to get out of there. Andmy wife was talking to someone
who she knew who had dated a guywith bipolar two disorder, and
she passed it on that soundslike that's what I was dealing
with. Of course, at that time,late 90s or so I didn't want to
(06:24):
hear it wasn't open to thepossibility of anything like
that one bit. And a few moreyears went by, and then we ran
into a brick wall financiallyand had to sell a house that we
were living in. And part of itwas because of my professional
struggles. I make no bones aboutthat. I'm not going to kid you.
(06:45):
And that's when I had bottomedout in the summer of 2002. And
went into a suicidal depression.
Never made an attempt, but madesome gestures towards suicide.
And from there just had a roughfall of 2002. I just wasn't sure
what was going to happen with ushaving to sell the house. So we
had several pets. But I ended upat that point, talking to a
(07:09):
friend of mine who had been tothe meadows, which is a
treatment center, psychhospital, you name it out in
wickenburg, Arizona, and he saidit really helped him with his
depression in his alcoholism. Idid not have an addiction,
thankfully, but I had enoughgoing on that I felt pretty
miserable. And I ended uptalking to my dad in early
(07:31):
December, I want to say if 2002.
And he said why don't you go tothat place your friend went, it
was like a light bulb went off.
So I hopped the plane in midDecember 2002 to Phoenix and
then get picked up at theairport and take into the
meadows, five week treatmentcenter, psych hospital, you name
it kind of a jack of all tradesplace. They deal with all sorts
of addictions, eating disorders,codependency, bipolar,
(07:54):
depression, you name it. And itwas a great experience. The
first few weeks, I felt awfulstill. But once I got the
correct diagnosis early in theprogram, they were able to start
tweaking medications with me andstart figuring out what worked,
since they did not have have tostrip off an addiction on top of
(08:15):
that. So that's where the tidestarted to turn and the
trajectory of trajectory of mylife started to change.
That, first of all, I'm justabsorbing your story. And
there's some very closeparallels to the story of one of
my siblings. So I was likehaving some moments there
(08:37):
remembering that to those lateteen years, and how tough that
was for a sibling. So I feel foryou and that part because it's
hard enough to be 18 1920 andfiguring out what you want to do
with your life. But then knownot knowing this underlying
thing is happening with you. WhoThat's hard.
(09:00):
It was when I got the diagnosis,the official diagnosis, I was
relieved. I mean any any elementof shame or stigma, it wasn't
there for me, and it hasn't beenbecause it was just nice to know
that. I can't say all of mystruggles were not my fault. But
a large portion of my struggleswere not my fault. I mean, sure,
(09:22):
I can still blame some of iteven at age 52 on my
personality, immaturity, andjust a part of being human. And
that's just the way it's gonnabe. But a lot can be credited. I
hate to use that word butcredits into the bipolar
disorder blamed on the bipolardisorder type two. And since
then, I've been dealing withsymptoms related to attention
(09:43):
deficit disorder, and OCD interms of obsessive thinking and
gartley it there's a lot ofthings that overlap. Without
question, anxiety. That's a bigpart of it to
yours. Saying something to methat is similar to something a
staff member said to me justyesterday, when we were talking
(10:07):
about the concept of alanguishing, feeling. And she
said to me, gosh, I was thinkingthere was something else more
serious going on with me, maybesomething physical going on with
me. Because I had thislanguishing feeling, but you
described it, and it sort oftook all the relief, it took the
(10:30):
burden off, and I feel relieved,just because you, you labeled it
and identified and said, Yes,that is me. That's what it is.
What is that? Because there arepeople who would say labeling
could be a bad thing. But thenI've heard you say it today. I
heard her say it yesterday. I'veheard it before, like, finally
getting that label somehowbrought relief to be.
(10:54):
Yeah, I would say that was whatit did for me tremendously. I
know plenty of people, like yousay, who don't want to be caught
up in labels and words, but inconventional reality, if you
will, we use words tocommunicate things. And it's a
lot easier to tell somebody Ihave bipolar two disorder with
some anxiety and add symptomsand OCD symptoms, then mystics
(11:18):
spell it all out. And think mostpeople have an idea of what goes
along with those labels. Andit's just a way of communicating
what you're experiencing. And Ithink that's important. I mean,
like I said earlier, I don'twant to let it define me. But at
the same time, I don't want tominimize it either. Because it
is something all these thingsare things that have impacted my
life and those around me, inmany ways.
(11:43):
I would love to know more aboutwhat you've done since going to
that treatment center to takecare of yourself. What are the
things that work for you? Youprobably tried some things that
didn't, too. Absolutely.
You know, first and foremost,I'm going to start with that
treatment center the meadows,one of the best things about it
was that I went somewhere thatwas out of my ordinary
(12:08):
environment. Arizona was totallyremoved from Middle Tennessee, I
had never been to Arizonabefore. I saw the purple
mountains in the evening, I sawcactus, I saw more stars than I
ever knew existed when I lookedup at the sky, and just being in
a different environment, I thinkwas good for me to focus helped
me focus on myself. I mean, Iknow there's some good places
(12:30):
right in this region in thisstate to go to, but I think for
myself getting out of my ownelement was was very important.
From there, they sent me to lifeHealing Center for four and a
half weeks or four weeks,actually, in Santa Fe, New
Mexico. And that was a, whatwould you call it an aftercare
center. They do have some peoplewho come there for treatment and
(12:53):
whatnot. But it's more peoplecoming there after they've been
somewhere else to kind of getreactivated to like before you
head home. And that was a goodexperience to the counselor that
was there. I've reconnected withhim recently, he's written a few
books. And that was a, it was awonderful experience here to two
beautiful places in Arizona andNew Mexico got home after being
(13:15):
away for nine and a half weeksor so. And it was a little
disorienting to hit to hit thereal world again. I had
neighbors saying things I hadn'tseen you for a while now, in a
way. Yeah, and I just didn't getinto it with them right then.
But now I wouldn't care. Andeven shortly after that, I
(13:35):
wouldn't care either. Because itwas such a positive experience
overall. And like I said, it allchanged the trajectory of my
life tremendously. But sincethen, I have worked with the
psychiatrists consistently. I amon meds still, for various
things that bipolar two andeverything else I've mentioned.
(13:57):
And it's interesting, I don'tknow if you all are familiar
with Daniel, Ayman who has,who's a big, big in brain health
scene. And he has clinics acrossthe country. I did some brain
scans a few years ago. And oneof his things is you know many
things that can be treatedwithout meds. But he said I
think he said bipolar disorder.
And schizophrenia are two thingsthat are still best treated with
(14:17):
medication at this point, andthat's coming from from somebody
who's really focused on tryingto find alternative ways to help
with these things. But I jumpedinto one job that didn't feel
very good and ended up back inradio after a little bit, doing
traffic reporting in 2003 andstayed with that for a few
(14:40):
years. My wife has really beenhelpful Mimi has really been
helpful and helping me to seewhen things are going awry.
She's quickly pointed out andyou know, it's there's a part of
me that thinks back to that timethat lady said to her that she
wondered if I was dealing withbipolar two, and I didn't want
to hear I was gonna like, shoot,I wish I'd listened. I wish I'd
(15:01):
taken a look at it then mighthave saved us some heartache,
but everything's manifestedWell, since I've, I exercise
consistently. I make sure I dosome exercise, it's fairly
aggressive, because that justhelps burn some of the stress
and some of the anxiety away.
(15:26):
Just getting good sleep, I usedto stay up and watch hockey or
football games or soccer gameslate at night, because I didn't
want to miss the end of them.
Now, I'm just kind of like whenI get tired, forget it. I'll
find out the score tomorrowmorning. It's just too important
to get consistent sleep. Withthis, it's one thing I've been
told by multiple sources,multiple mental health
(15:47):
professionals. And I find thatif I do stay up real late one
night, I feel it for a few days,it does, I don't recover right
away.
So I have to pay attention tothat I still don't know how I
did a radio gig one time thathad me up till midnight, two or
three nights a week. That wasjust I'm just not a night owl
(16:08):
anyway, I mean, if I'm up atfour or 430, and I'm at the YMCA
and they open at 5am I, I'mhappy with that, you know, I'm
fine with that. But the exercisehas been big working with the
psychiatrist has been big diet,trying to pay attention to
things that can be helpful ornot, I did do a gut check test
(16:28):
with my primary care person so Ican see what your I was
sensitive to, and know what toavoid. That was that's been
helpful. And like I say, theamund Clinic getting the brain
scans a few years ago. That wasthat was a big, big transition
moment too because I could thensee your the areas of my brain
that we're functioning as theyshould in the areas that we're
(16:52):
not in where I might have hadsome trauma from from playing
soccer years ago and heading thesoccer ball for nine years.
slamming my head on the groundon the snow when I went skiing a
few times without a helmet on ofcourse it helmets not gonna
protect your brain anyway, it'sgonna sling around in your skull
when you hit your head, whetheryou have a helmet on or not. So
(17:12):
that was enlightening and hasgiven me some direction and some
ideas as well. But I have asunlamp a light box, whatever
you want to call it. From I gotthe brain MD one and it has blue
light or white light has foursettings has a timer on it. So
very convenient. But more thananything, too, I just try to be
(17:36):
open with the people. I'm aroundabout what's going on. Recently
I encountered up a homelessperson who was coming up to ask
for money. He said, Hey, how'sit going? I said not good. I'm
having a crappy day. And hegoes, Oh, no worries, you have a
good one. I wasn't trying to gethim to leave or not bother me.
(17:59):
But my point was Yeah, that'swhere I was. You know,
just let it rip.
We'll be right back after thismental health report for
NewsChannel five Nashville,shining a light on mental health
illness. Tennessee voices justlaunched their new podcast it's
called candid NewsChannel fivesSina slim shows us how they're
(18:19):
using this platform to breakdown mental health stigmas.
During a pandemic that isencouraging people to social
distance, it can feel lonely,it's what inspired Tennessee
voices to launch their newpodcast, the CO hosts want
listeners to know it's okay tonot be okay and to ask for help.
(18:40):
And it is a podcast of Tennesseevoices about mental health.
Each episode will share thestories of those who have
struggled with mental health,but that they can and did
overcome their challenges. CEOand co host Ricky Harris shared
her experience on the firstepisode so others know there's
nothing to be ashamed of.
One of the things that I reallystruggled with after having my
(19:02):
child was postpartum depression.
It was the first time that Ireally didn't know what to do
with my own mental health. Imean I have a lot of coping
skills and I had a lot ofeducation and training in the
area, and I neededhelp September's National
Suicide Prevention Month.
According to the Tennesseesuicide prevention network,
Tennessee suicide rate is thehighest it has been in five
(19:25):
years. Harris says the podcastis just another way to expand
resources to those that need it,especially in rural counties.
seana slim NewsChannel five.
Thank you, Sina. If you want togive the podcast a listen, it is
available on all major platformslike Spotify and amazon music.
Welcome back and wanted to comeback to you. I had heard that
(19:46):
quote earlier this week. Thereason we use the term you know
a light bulb went off is becausethe invention of light bulb was
such a great idea. And youstated earlier that a family
member told you you know what?
Maybe going and check it out.
This facility would be helpfulfor you would be a good thing
for you. He said, you know, thelight bulb went off, and I
realized, you know what, maybethis is right. You, you also
(20:08):
stated that you felt relief whenyou found out about your
diagnosis exactly what this was.
But we talk also about peoplefearing being labeled. thinking,
you know, where you started, andthose younger years and how
things began to progress and theamount of supports that you
mentioned that you havecurrently in place, things that
you've learned that have workedfor you? How would you encourage
(20:30):
someone who is at the beginningstage, like they're experiencing
these symptoms, and they gotsome concerns, but there's so
much fear in wanting to belabeled, and also a fear of
going into a treatment facility.
And that will mean you know,even just being overnight, but
something even as simple aswalking into an office trying to
(20:51):
seek therapy, how would youencourage someone to access that
light bulb to know that this isa really good idea, this is
something that could help youlong term?
Well, I will start by sayingthat I did not take full
advantage of the therapy atWilliam and Mary, when I was in
college, the Counseling Centerwas so strategically placed by
the sorority houses that itreally encouraged us fraternity
(21:13):
guys to get counseling help whenwe needed it. So and I say that,
obviously, with tons of sarcasm,but you know, it, I've got
friends who are struggling with,with all sorts of things, and
especially guys dealing withdepression, and it manifests is
anger, whether it's internal,internalized anger, or external
(21:35):
anger, and they will not gethelp because they don't think
they need it. And I, I havenever felt shame about going to
the counselor or a therapist,except when it was right next
door to the sorority houses, andcollege. It just was something
that was kind of normal, in myfamily life and in the people
(21:58):
who were really close to usgrowing up. So I never felt any
shame. And when I felt reallybad, I thought I had nothing to
lose to I mean, why not try it.
But I would encourage people toone thing would be to look up
online, the best therapist I'veever worked with, I found her
online, I had been referred totherapists over the years, and
(22:19):
they've been right. But the bestfit for me was when I just
looked somebody up online,randomly, not even with a
referral. And, and I was justlooking for somebody in my area
who dealt with what I neededhelp with. And I didn't care if
it was a man or a woman. Ididn't care who it was. I didn't
care what anything about whatthey were like, I just cared
could they help me in the areasthat I needed help? And could
they be relatable. And I thinkthat's one thing, it's helpful
(22:42):
with a therapist, find somebodywho is relatable. Sometimes
there are therapists who kind ofgive the air the atmosphere that
they're there to save you orthey're there to know it all and
whatnot. And I'd rather be withsomebody who's going to get in
the muck with me in and canrelate to some degree. And I
don't expect the therapists todisclose everything about their
(23:04):
life, of course, but enough thatwe can connect, and I can see
that they relate in there withme. But that's a hard question
How to, because when you're onthe go, it's like, it's like the
suicide hotline. It's like whensomebody is feeling suicidal,
they're not necessarily going tothink to call the hotline. You
(23:24):
know, they're not in that stateof mind. I know that when I was
suicidal, feeling thoseideations? I didn't, I didn't
wouldn't even thought to reachout for help. You know, but I
understand the reason people areencouraged to do that. That
makes total sense.
(23:46):
And I say that it's a difficultquestion to answer, I just want
to tell you simply by sharingyour story, you have helped a
lot of people that arelistening. Listen,
yeah, I hope so. But first thingI would say to do is just you
got to be honest with yourself,that something's going on, and
(24:08):
that you can't define ityourself. You can't explain it
yourself. You can't figure itout yourself. And if you can get
to that point, then maybe youcan take the next step.
Yeah, and that just occurred tome that for people listening, it
would be nice to kind of talkabout the symptoms of bipolar
two, just so we can kind of helppeople understand. I want to
(24:32):
read through what I know to be,you know, most of the symptoms,
but after I do that, I thinkit'd be really cool bill, if you
could kind of tell people whatthat looked like in your life,
because I think I'm going toread these symptoms and they're
going to sound like things we'veall experienced probably in the
last 18 months, honestly, butthat but that those symptoms are
(24:55):
what causes us to behave in waysthat then become destructive to
our selves. So feelings ofoverwhelming sadness, emptiness,
hopelessness, trouble sleepingat night or even staying awake
during the day or even, youknow, just not sleeping at all.
feeling worthless or reallyguilty like you're You don't
(25:16):
deserve things work family andsocial life struggles. So just
struggles in your relationships,not feeling, you know, the
energy to participate socially,feeling sometimes euphoric,
extremely revved up, or reallyirritable, without a lot of
explanation for the feeling,there's there's no nothing that
(25:39):
got you there, you're justthere. feeling really alone,
feeling isolated, even thoughthere's people all around you.
So those are just kind of someof the common things that that
people might describe assymptoms of bipolar two, what
does that look like in reallife?
For me, when I'm hypomanic, itis more irritability, agitation,
(26:05):
anger, it can be positive, itcan be euphoric. But more often
than not, the hypomania side ofthings is not super pleasant.
And my wife can tell me can tellwhen I'm there and a hypomanic
state is defined as lasting atleast four days, but it can last
weeks months. And with bipolartwo, I do not go to the full
(26:32):
blown psychotic mania, like abipolar type one person would I
just go to mild to moderatemania, which doesn't sound bad,
but it can feel just like I say,irritable, agitated, that's how
I feel. When I dip intodepression, however, that's
another story. I can't go tofull blown rock bottom
(26:52):
depression, and stay there. ButI've only been to that point
that one time before I went tothe treatment centers. More
often than not, I'm in a mild tomoderate depression. And that
lasts for days, weeks or months.
And that's why the therapists Iworked with back in the day
really had no idea that I wasdealing with bipolar two,
(27:12):
because I would be in theseextended periods of depression
that just like looked likedepression. They never saw the
hypomanic side. Because I'd bedepressed for so long. But when
I get depressed, I can getimmobilized. Without question, I
get out of bed, I still take ashower, I'll still, you know,
(27:32):
shave, if I feel like it, orbrush my teeth daily, and all
that and eat and exercise. Butjust the way I feel, I feel
stuck. The first thing Iremember about the bipolar two
diagnosis, though, was thedifference between the type one
and type two. And that type oneis more rapid cycling, and it
(27:53):
goes to full blown mania andfull blown depression kind of
quickly, back and forth. Whereastype two, like I say, the
extended periods at one stage orthe other tend to be the norm.
It's interesting that more womentend to get diagnosed with Type
two. But I think they're findingmore and more guys as well.
Yeah, you mentioned it a coupletimes about your wife maybe
(28:15):
being very important in managingit just kind of being that
person on the outside saying,I'm seeing something coming and
maybe you haven't felt it yet orrealized it yet. What other
relationships or what whatthings in the community are
important parts of you, justmanaging and being in a good
(28:35):
place regularly.
Well, Mimi, and I have a bunchof cats. We foster cats for
national Cat Rescue, and we'vegot a bunch of our own. I joke
that one day we're going to beon an episode of hoarders, not
because of knickknacks ornewspapers we keep all around
just because of the numbers ofcats. But they they are a bright
(28:56):
spot, except when they'remissing the litter box. But we
are involved in a church, ChristChurch Cathedral, downtown
Episcopal Cathedral, just somegreat programs there that have
gotten me immersed with folks,socially and otherwise. I play
(29:16):
electric bass, although I've notjammed with anybody for a while
since the pandemic need to getback out and find some folks to
play with. What else Hmm, I keepin touch with my family
consistently. My sister inSeattle, my parents in the
Memphis area. We talk fairlyregularly. And then you know I
(29:38):
don't have a ton of friends thatI get with on a regular basis
around town but I've got a fewthat are on the same wavelength
that we can really connect and Iget with them or at least keep
in touch with them prettyconsistently. So it's it's a
mixed bag. Try to find a fewdifferent things and always open
to new things as well.
(29:58):
I have to ask you a question. Sosomething I have observed over
the years, as I've watched mysibling struggle with, you know,
all of this is managingrelationships. So there was a
while there were that was reallyhard. And as he grew in his
ability to manage his diagnosisand understand what work that
(30:22):
definitely I see, I see, it gota lot better. But social, you
know, life is such a huge partof who we are as humans. And I
imagine it's easy to turn thatoff and say, managing these
relationships are hard when Ihave the struggle, but you sound
(30:43):
like you know that you need thatyou know, you need community,
you know, you need social. Soyou're putting in a lot of
effort to take care of yourself,so that you can have those
relationships so that they aresuccessful relationships. Am I
getting that right? I wouldsay that's accurate. And it's my
wife, Mimi often says that I'man a social extrovert. It's kind
of funny. A few years ago,actually my 30 year high school
(31:06):
reunion in Germantown, Maine, hecouldn't go with me and a couple
of old girlfriends or husbandscouldn't go. So we all went to
the event together. And one ofthem described the two girls, as
extroverts. And then she lookedat me and said, You're a
reluctant extrovert. And I waslike, yeah, goodness, said it
better myself. But you know thatthe tendency when I don't feel
good, is to withdraw. And overthe years, I've heard people
(31:32):
say, Oh, so and so doesn't wantto come out and be with anybody,
because I just want to sit homeand be miserable. It's not that
people want to sit home and bemiserable. It's because they're
feeling miserable. They don'twant to get out and possibly
embarrass themselves or saysomething hurtful to somebody or
just ruin everybody else'snight, because they're feeling
miserable.
(31:53):
Forget that they're protecting,you're protecting them in a way.
But pulling back. That'sinteresting.
We'll be right back after thisshort break. tn voices is now
hiring qualified applicants tobuild positions all across the
(32:16):
state, you can be part of agrowing team that puts the
mental health of Tennesseansfirst and thrive in a
compassionate work environmentto apply to join our team log on
to tn voices.org slashemployment. Welcome back.
(32:37):
You know, Bill, did not knowthat you went to Germantown has
a car you bill is home, alright.
Big rivals there. Or they wentout there. But I think about
community, I think about thosesmall towns that we grew up in,
and you talk a lot about me, me,and it seems like she is a great
support has been a great supportto you. I think about those that
haven't experienced it, but theyhave been indirectly affected by
(33:01):
someone with the diagnosis andsuch. What can we do to really
make sure that there is moresupport? You know, how can one
know how to support someone thatthat's experiencing the signs
and symptoms, or they've beenrecently diagnosed? What can
they do to be able to be thebest support on their journey?
Certainly listen.
(33:25):
Without question, though, justhear, but really listen and see
what might be behind the wordsthat you can pick up on Pay
attention to body language. Andwhen somebody even has an
inkling that they're struggling,or says something even remotely
close to wanting to hurtthemselves, yet, don't take it
(33:48):
as a joke. Don't take it as ajoke at all. Even even if it is,
it's not really to be taken thatway, because you don't know
what's going on in someoneelse's head. If they verbalize
that, there's a pretty goodchance they're thinking about
it, and then they may even havea plan. But I certainly like I
(34:11):
said, listening is key justbeing there being non
judgmental, because I've hadsome people I know over the
years who just thought I was anangry person and, you know, said
forget you. And I knew insidethat I wasn't at the core and
angry person. But I couldn'tarticulate what was going on
until I got the diagnosis. Sowhat I hear people talk about,
(34:35):
you know, we don't want to hangaround with toxic people. You
don't want to do that. It's likeWell, some people, there may be
some toxic people out theremaybe. But more often than not
what you think is toxic toxicityis probably somebody struggling
with something they're not awareof. And to give some grace, give
some patience, be patient andunderstanding. And I understand
(34:57):
at some point the boundary mayhave to be established. You know
Those things that's part of lifethat may have to happen but give
people the benefit of the doubtwhen you don't know everything
about what's going on. That's,that's really important.
I am going to recap a couple ofthings that you've kind of
(35:18):
talked about regarding selfcare, because this is an
important priority in the lifeof our organization is helping
people understand more deeply,what self carrier what self care
is. And one of the ways that Italk about it is taking care of
your the four parts of yourself,which is your biological,
psychological, social, andspiritual part. So you've hit
(35:41):
all of those, you've told usabout how you manage your
relationships and yourcommunity, and what's important,
you've talked about yourinvolvement and your church. So
hitting on that spiritual piece,you've talked about sleep, diet,
exercise, the biological piece,and then medication management
and therapy and in the pasttreatment for your mental
(36:04):
health, and so you're kind of,you're kind of painting a really
strong picture, model picturefor someone to understand why
it's so important to take careof yourself and how, because
they're, as you've described,there's many facets to be
addressed within your life andit's not just go to therapy, and
you'll probably be better orjust take medicine and that'll
(36:26):
fix it. It's really prioritizingyour own health that not only
makes you better but makes you abetter person, to your spouse to
your friends to the peoplearound you and to your community
at large. And so I really just,I'm recapping and only to say I
appreciate that you laid outsomething in all four of those
(36:47):
categories which is something wetalk to our staff about all the
time and prioritizing you know,your your mental health is your
self care it's beyond just, youknow, some therapy or some
medication it's a it's a bigpicture issue. And the part you
talked about with nutrition andsleep we're all different and so
(37:07):
learning yourself enough to knowcan I survive on six hours or am
on a eight hour kind of person?
What does my body need and whatmakes me at my best and I love
that so I wanted to just wrap upwith all of us kind of going
around and answering thisquestion were the top two best
decisions you ever made foryourself? I know I'll give you
(37:28):
all a second because there'sprobably there's probably
several okay I'llmarrying meanie without question
and as far as taking care ofmyself was just going to those
(37:55):
treatment centers. And anotherthing that that helped me
understand too is just the pulseof behaviors that can come from
bipolar disorder that I didn'tattribute to that the type two
you know people can get involvedin risky behaviors and whatnot
that's never been an issue forme thank goodness but I still
splurge on books and CDs andthings like that I know it's
(38:18):
2021 and I'm still buying CDsbut yeah the way I see it is
those things at least it's notheroin at least is not you know
crack or something I'm splurgeon something it's pretty
harmless in most places you canfind us desks now for two and
three and four bucks so yeah,the treatment centers in meanie
(38:41):
top two things. Well,I would say for me is creating a
self care plan. Now followingthose four categories and making
sure that that was intentionaland being you know, creating
SMART goals around how I wantedto improve mentally, physically,
spiritually and emotionally.
(39:02):
That's been a true help in mypersonal and professional
growth. And you know, I wouldsay the other thing was
switching majors in college Istarted off as a chemistry major
wanting to go pre med and I knowit became more stressful trying
to pass calculus but my heartwas in psychology and it led me
(39:23):
to where I am now. So justfalling behind that was the best
decision I could have madeawesome. Yeah, know I was
thinking about this too as y'allwere talking. I think for me,
it's number one is justcommitting my life to the Lord
and His will and purpose for mebecause I definitely always feel
(39:43):
like I'm right where he intendedme to be and that feels really
good to live out your purpose.
The second one, I am going to besappy like you bill and say it
was marrying my spouse becausethere is so Something about
being what the person that justcheerlead you on supports you
(40:06):
wants the best for you sees inyou, things you don't see in
yourself. That's a, that's ahuge if you get that, right,
it's a lifetime of, you know,having a support like you never
imagined by your side and that Irecognize that that is, that's a
lot of work on the part of ourspouse to commit to being a good
(40:29):
partner. So, taking on all of mydreams and goals, and you know,
my drive, I'm sure it's not noteasy. So I am, I'm with you. But
maybe we're we'll just we'lljust call this a spouse,
gratefulness moment. But anyway,well, any last words for our
(40:55):
podcast listeners, before wewrap up,