September 18, 2025 • 47 mins
Some episodes hit harder than others — this one is raw, real, and heavy. We light up and dive into Suicide Awareness Month, mixing conversations about strain effects, terpenes, and the strange turns of life with some of the most personal stories we’ve ever shared on mic.
This isn’t just cannabis talk — it’s about pain, purpose, and the moments that keep us here.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
• A breakdown of strains we tested (and why mixing them might not be the best move)
• How temperature changes the whole dab experience — from flavor to coughing fits
• Real talk on suicide awareness: spotting signs, breaking stigma, and sharing lived experiences
• Reflections on time, regret, and why the present moment is what really matters
• Why connection — with friends, family, community — is the most valuable high
If you’ve ever felt alone, know this: the world is better with you in it. Always.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse, we're cannabis
school. Having cannabis infused
conversations. With everyday people.
Cannabis companies. Celebrities.
And your mom? Welcome to the sesh.
Oh, there you go. And it's just like.
Oh no, I love the feeling already though, like it's
already like washing over and taking another one made me feel
(00:22):
a little anxious in my back. It was weird for being very high
terps and all of that like it. Love these things dude, they're
so nice and we. Have a code down below.
This is 189. Jesse's got their hot knife at
home. Oh I will bring it next time.
It is great. One of the best hot knives man I
(00:42):
love it. Charges quickly, it's strong,
easy to clean. I just have like a tissue.
Keep it heated. It only heats up when you hold
on to it. Tap it twice, 05 times, tap it
five times and you see it power up charges really quick.
That's another thing to talk about charging that charges
fast. Yeah they do.
(01:03):
You can't use it while it charges.
However I found if it has even alittle battery, I unplug it,
take my dab, plug it back in dude.
Totally killed it. Right.
Yeah. Because I used to have.
I like to have a little dab before I drive home.
Yeah, definitely. It's a darker grape now, but it
tastes like grape. Yeah, but it's it's so light.
(01:25):
Not like. It's relaxing, too.
None of the strains have been foggy or heavy or overly like.
Well, I wouldn't say that about Zotter and my wife, dude.
So I turned the temps up after we were talking to Bijan.
Yeah, I was like, I'm going to run it at, you know, 490.
You know, that's the size I wantto go.
(01:46):
And Steph and I have been using it at 435.
It's a huge jump. Yeah.
And it produces bigger clouds. Heads up.
Oh good, oh great. And she took a regular hit off
of the lower temp, which means you can pull a little longer.
Yes, she took a hit like that and I was like, where's that
(02:08):
Hold on, I got to get for dramatic effect and she coughed
for probably forever. Dude, I felt so bad.
And then after cottonmouth, whatdid you do?
Jesse on Saturday smoked 3 strains.
Hell yeah. Whoa, whoa, yeah, that
(02:29):
definitely hits. You get that beta carefully
right there. That's got to be in there.
To the face. So let's see, most dominant
terpene is limiting, and then carefully and then humaline.
The care of oh, humaline. That's the uplifting part.
I like humaline. So it's weird because the beta
(02:51):
pineene is higher, but muricine has double the amount as beta
pineene. So maybe it was, I don't know.
It's not really. Cool muricine will get that at
the higher temps it'll get you coughing.
I could feel that in my throat right now.
You. Yeah, way down here, yeah.
Feel it back here like it's tight and burning.
(03:11):
This has 4% CBGA. Wow, that's fantastic.
It's a good for pain. Yeah, it's such a nice.
Anti I like it because it's not a super, super heady strain.
It's very cool, it's uplifting, perfect.
For what we feel like right about here.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you know, and, andgo to that one.
(03:33):
Here's the thing that popped in my head as I was driving home
and I was I was feeling that energy that's going around.
Yeah, And all I thought was, this may sound callous, but let
the dead bury the dead. Pick up your cross and follow
me. And what?
Why I say that? Why?
Why I brought that up in my mindat that time?
(03:54):
Why every reason why I came there is that this is very
tragic. He died.
Somebody killed somebody else, right?
Assassination. That word, it's tied to incite
anger, grief, frustration. It is a It is a word that's used
to incite emotion. Yeah.
But the word that I wanted to attach to it was moving on.
(04:17):
There's a verse in in in, I think it's in Matthew where
Christ is walking in the sky goes, Hey, I want to follow you.
I want to be a part of you. The good that you doing, just
walking around, helping people, just healing everybody, just
being good. I want to do what you do.
Will you just give me a moment? I have to bury my father.
(04:41):
And he goes, let the dead bury their dad.
Come follow me and we'll, we'll go for the living.
And that's why I started thinking.
It's like I was really hoping that horrible things wouldn't
happen. I was ready for that.
I was ready for crazy violence and just burning.
Just people losing their minds, you know, because we've seen
(05:02):
that when when people are killed, whether on accident, by
malice, whatever, but it turns into this big spectacle and that
person is the other people 'cause the.
Amount of emotion that's. Yeah, that's scary.
That's what this has instilled is so much fear and hatred and.
But you that's that's the thing that I am happy about because
(05:23):
today that happened a few days ago from today, you guys know
this probably happened like few weeks, but.
A week or two. That didn't happen.
There's vigils, there's mourning, there's people going,
this is not tolerable. This isn't OK.
You don't celebrate the killing of a person, regardless of
(05:45):
whatever they believed. This isn't the world that we we
have been told we don't live in.I I shouldn't have to be afraid.
My kids lock down. Your kids school was on lockdown
too for hours. And all the kids, dude, even my
10 year old talking about it. My daughter was half a block
(06:06):
like her school is half a block away from that one.
And it made sense. I was like, why they locked it
down? They found the guy through.
Door cams, yeah. My friend on the other side, his
whole neighborhood was on lockdowns.
They're like don't leave your house, We're hunting.
And it was through door cams andother things to try and find
footage and. They did a big walk.
I mean, I was across the lake, Brandon.
(06:28):
I live across a lake from each other.
I didn't even think about that. You know, the coolest thing
would be is if I had a fucking boat and I say hey, I'll meet
you at the pier. I did at the dock.
That'd be so cool. I loved going across the lake,
dude. That'd be great.
We think about that, yeah. Would we be able?
To. Get.
It's so much faster, but we there was a the one of the
(06:51):
bishops in my parents were growing up.
He So for those who aren't Mormon, that's like.
It's like a pastor. Yeah, like a pastor in your
church, kind of. Pastor, there's bishops.
'Cause he's just for that neighborhood, kind of, yeah.
That congregation specifically. Those people who go there?
But he was actually part of the plan to build a bridge over 20.
Years. Oh, I remember about that one.
(07:12):
That would have been cool. And it's still talk about like
all the time because it would cut that commute in.
Like even in a boat when you're going 20-30 miles an hour, it's
like 10 minutes. We'll do those.
The French carp that were released into that and just
completely destroyed the ecosystem.
They are the reason why that that place is just it's not what
(07:35):
I when I was a little little kid, it didn't look like that.
No, but the State Department actually put out a video that
was actually really fucking funny this year, and it was
about the water quality at Utah Lake.
And they're like, it actually isnot bad.
It's like it's healthy. You can swim in it.
You won't get sick from it. They've test like.
(07:56):
Same with algae. Stuff always the joke of when we
were growing it well, there was a giant steel refinery that was
like built right on it and now it's.
Time dumped in it or whatever itwas, just like.
Yeah. And and you know, that place is
now called Vineyard. It's a city now.
And I'm like, yeah. It's crazy.
(08:17):
Yeah, something's going to happen.
It's going to be a couple generations of three arms over
there. But no, it wasn't a nuclear
power plant, but I mean, it was a steel refinery.
They, they had so many. Dude, there was a fire in this
building down there. I know I'm going off topic, I'll
bring it back, but there was a fire in this building and the
chemical fire was so bad that itwas condemned and they couldn't
even demolish it. What?
(08:38):
They weren't allowed to demolishit because of the chemicals in
there. Over a Geneva.
It was a building. It was a small building.
Is it? Still there.
No, it was finally leveled. Oh.
Eventually. But it was like 20 plus years
before they could level it. That's crazy.
Well, you know, they do liquid nitrogen and all that stuff.
You know those clouds that you'll see driving north?
(08:59):
That's liquid nitrogen plant. Oh wow.
Those big giant circles, Yeah, Yep, that's liquid nitrogen.
Those guys just make it there. That's not our topic for today,
guys. We're all over the.
Place the The topic is is it's. Suicide Awareness Month.
Just suicide. Well, in an invention, yeah.
Well, I mean, I don't even know if we could do prevention.
(09:20):
It's it's just being more aware of others emotions and asking
more questions. And and it contradictory to like
what you might have thought or grown up thinking, it doesn't
make it more likely to happen totalk to someone about it, to ask
if they're struggling with it orask if they need help like it.
But there's signs. I mean, The thing is, is there
(09:42):
there are things that can go on and it's just not like you want
to study it, you know, and people want to be aware of it.
But when there's a dramatic change in somebody's.
Yeah. Apathy, and you can start
noticing that. I know in my deepest, darkest,
(10:03):
hardest moments of life that I have sat there with a gun in my
hand, wondering like I. And I know there's been.
What took you there? Divorce, alcohol, everything in
life. What was going through your
mind? Pain What's?
What is? Painless pain like immense
amount of pain like. Where did the pain come from?
Not feeling like I, feeling likethe world, my family, my kids,
(10:27):
my ex-wife, you know, my parents, my siblings would be
better off. What brought you to that .0?
Everything. What were you doing that made
you feel like that? Everything, it was divorce, it
was not having my kids around. It was like struggling with it
and going. What part of the divorce got you
there? I.
Mean you haven't gone through it.
No, no, I'm not. I'm asking you that's why.
(10:48):
I mean, it's so much you go through.
I mean, everyone's divorce is isdifferent.
Oh, I wouldn't think it would bepleasant for anybody.
For me, it was like losing who Ithought was my best friend, but
also simultaneously losing my kids and.
Did that take away purpose for you?
(11:08):
I had never really like. I never realized how much I
loved being a dad, how much I valued being a dad.
Would you say that before you kind of took it for granted?
Maybe in some ways. I have.
But like, yeah, I guess so. My perspective on like time with
my kids and stuff has shifted somuch since that moment because
(11:30):
every moment is sacred. It's so valuable.
It's I can't exchange that time for anything.
I wouldn't change that time for anything.
And and I think that was just such heart, like emotional pain
can be so physically hurting to the point that you're like, it
(11:53):
would be so much easier for me, for everyone else, if just I
wasn't here. And that really sucks.
Like because I know it's not just me who's been through that
moment. It's been endless amounts of
people who have sat in that moment of like, the world would
be a better place without me here.
Can I, can I, can I stop you fora second?
(12:13):
I understand that feeling that you were feeling, but on, on, on
a, on a different plane, but one, you know, I hear you and
that, and that's hard. It's hard to talk about.
But the thing and the reason whyit's so good that we're going
through this man, is that you, you still have this about you.
Like there's this drive desire to be something more than you
(12:36):
think you are and that there's not, you're not doing enough,
you're not being enough. You can't provide enough, you
can't do anything enough. And and that's hard, but it's
easy for somebody on the outsideto say, well, just change your
disposition just. Keep fucking happy, right?
(12:57):
And you'll get that along. And then it's good to talk about
this because it's not that easy,you know, that switch.
And you can't just switch it off.
No and and and. You can't just take that pain
and go you don't exist. Well, I mean, before for me, you
know, I think about that even, you know, I, I've had somebody
very close to me that went through that and, and
(13:22):
immediately from my perspective was anger.
How dare you? Yeah.
It's how dare you. Selfishness.
How big? Yeah.
Yeah, but I didn't understand what pain was.
And so I I can't ever met. From that point on, I've learned
(13:42):
it wasn't easy. It was still hard.
It's because of those moments that you realize that it's OK to
be selfish. We tend to put ourselves last
because we think that it's easier there.
I can define myself there. I just work hard, do those
things, and I'll be fine. And a lot of people get to that
(14:04):
point where you were talking about I don't understand that
point. I don't.
And I'm blessed because I have severe ADHD because I could slow
down long enough to go fuck thatreally sucks and I can't.
I don't think I'm coming back from this.
My mind will be like, hey, is that blue?
See, that would be pleasant. I think more people should could
(14:26):
use that. I know that's why it's a curse
and a blessing, but yeah, it doesn't mean I and A lot of this
comes from understanding, you know, it's it's it's sucks And
and it really was, it was almostpatronizing for me to say like,
you know, listen more. You need to pay attention more.
No, what I mean is is that be aware of them.
(14:46):
And in existence, it's our livesare chaotic, they're messy, and
we can see one thing happened inthis world, which happens all
the time, which I saw that on social media.
Oh, well, you know, since he waskilled, all these other things
happened. Yes, totally get it.
(15:08):
But The thing is, is that there's a lot more behind it
than just a person dying and every single person that's
connected to it, that is their tragedy.
That's their tragedy. And 1 isn't greater than the
other one is just felt more. I was.
Just more personal to one personthan another.
(15:30):
We are attached to those. Before it was we were attached
to celebrities, right? Celebrities were attached to.
And then when YouTube came out then you could speak up and it
was. It's a double edged sword.
So many content creators have killed themselves because of
(15:50):
hateful things said to them. And for me in my ADHD brain
going. Or even death threats or like
people who stalked or crazy shit.
And it's like. Why in the world?
And that's the thing. It's when you're allowed to just
experience emotions internally too long, tragic things happen
either to yourself or to others.And when you allow yourself to
(16:15):
just be angry in a, in a fuckingtube, just like, and you're just
saying and you're, you're reacting.
To the moment in it like. Yeah, it we.
Yeah, we don't like, it's not letting that anger go, no.
What's the point of it? That was I don't know if I've
(16:37):
talked. Maybe I probably talked about
this. I had never hated my ex-wife
before until I tried to fight custody for things that were
going on that were not OK. And through that I found this
hatred for this person I never hated, but just because of what
it had done to my kids and was doing to my kids.
(16:59):
And the fact that it seemed likeshe didn't care.
And that wasn't the person I thought I had ever known in my
life. And it just that hatred and that
anger hanging on to that is likeI realized it affected me, but
it affected my relationships. It affected people.
Like it doesn't affect her it. Affects.
(17:19):
Me and people I interact with and engage with and, and why
would I give her that energy to let her ruin other parts of my
life for something that doesn't matter?
Like, and it's this hatred and this anger, like in a tube or
wherever that we, we just hang on to instead of letting that
(17:40):
hatred and that anger go. Well, and it's culture too,
right? Like, you know, we a lot of us
like Gen. Xers, millennials, all those
Gen. Z, yeah, all that stuff like
around that area that the eras like we were, we weren't taught
to be open about that ever, right?
(18:04):
And it was that wasn't seen, youknow, we, we had depictions of
what people should be and and itserved its purpose for the time
it was it really did because it it gave people fortitude.
It gave him strength. It gave him false bravado.
But when the world has been cracked open with the Internet
and as much as we can be connected, like instantaneously
(18:27):
where somebody's life will feel like they're on top, and then
from people saying things to them, hateful things, just
because that person just felt like they needed to be angry and
hateful and spiteful, you realize that true goodness is
(18:48):
rare. I felt myself angry at those
that I know would have been celebrating the death of an
innocent person anywhere. I, I have a different
perspective on many different things.
Do I feel like I can do I, I have done violence to others.
That's not a thing of if I can or can't.
(19:09):
The thing is, is that when I choose to, and I don't believe
that it should be used for anything to be subjective on to
others, but that's the other, the other side of that coin is
that if it's not there, if that opposition isn't there, then
it's pointless for me to be ableto do that.
So I have to make that the decision in my head going, no,
(19:32):
I'm wrong, I'm upset. And it's hard to look at
yourself that way because you'reonly fed.
Get yours revenge. The waiter didn't do this for my
food. That fucking idiot, stupid chef
back there, I bet he's a fuckingretard.
I bet he's an immigrant, Some shit like that, right?
(19:52):
Immediately people go to hatefulthings, especially about your
service. Fucking can't get a burger
right. I said no onions, you dumb fuck.
Whoa, Oh, it has onions on it. Hey, I'm allergic to these
things. Maybe you're not allergic to it,
but you fucking tell them that they're going to switch it out.
What did they lose? 2 cents?
(20:13):
That company lost $0.02 to swap that thing out.
Maybe so we we treat these things as giant.
Massive inconveniences that justtruly aren't.
Right, and and those who hurt others like I'm I'm going to say
it as it is your wife, your ex-wife, she hurts others and
(20:33):
but she does it with mouth, She does it with intent.
She knows what she wants. She wants her way and she
because it's her way and it doesn't go against the grain.
Sorry I got to drop you off. I'm not going to pay attention
to you. You are going away from my dream
and my dream still hasn't been achieved yet.
Her poor ex, other ex-husband. I I think that that guy was
(20:57):
completely crashed by her. Speaking of Suicide Awareness
Month. That man he he tried to kill
himself multiple times going through Med school.
You know, if you guys are struggling with mental health,
if you guys are struggling with self worth or just struggling,
(21:19):
reach out, shoot us Adm and evenreach out on their personal
ones. You can always find that through
the show. So just no Dick pics please.
Yeah, I prefer those not to be on there.
That the same. Life can feel overwhelming and
there's moments in life when we feel 100% alone or like that we
(21:40):
think the world would be a better place without us.
And it's not. The world is better with you and
it the world is better with you and it, and you know, we, we've
actually gotten quite a few emails over the years from
people with those types of struggles and we've had
(22:00):
incredible connections and amazing stories that have been
shared and real connections built.
And you know, we, we can't take that.
We can't. I just want to say thanks.
And, and everybody, I mean, likeout there, it's, it's easy to
get caught up in the beliefs that you think you have to
(22:25):
achieve based off of, I don't know.
Life. But just it's culture.
Culture usually has a big effecton you, where you're at.
You've lived your culture every because everyone's is different,
everyone's life is different, so.
The one thing that I would always press 0, I always do now
and I do so through my actions and through how I act and I
(22:45):
don't get pushed back from it isthat I, I know that I need to
love everybody and it's been cool because even in traffic, I
won't get pissed at people and Idon't get mad at people often.
And and if I get angry, it's it's a, it's, it's subdued fast
(23:06):
where I just go whoa, I'm wrong.I, I was emotional.
I said these things. I wasn't aware of these things.
I said things that were hurtful because I was angry.
I'm gonna, I'm not going to takeit back.
I'm just going to say I'm sorry I said those things.
I, I made AI made a comment towards a driver the other day,
which I have not done in 15 years.
(23:27):
And the second it came out of mymouth, all I thought was what in
the world? What is going on that you think
it is OK to say that comment? They had no idea.
They never heard my windows wereup.
Lincoln. But it was just the comment that
left my mouth. And I was just like, I'm not
that person. It was good.
I was incredibly disappointed inmyself.
(23:49):
That's who showed up in that very second because I was like,
hey, I don't know what's going on right now that you think this
is OK, that that's not OK. That's another person that's we
don't treat them that way. And it was just we all have
moments and our shortcomings andtimes that we're not in our
greatest. And this is an interesting
(24:13):
episode with. Interesting strain Well, I just
was thinking while you were saying that man it's you are not
you don't have to have this shitfucking who's right there I hate
damn you marijuana No it's. I was happy with myself that it
(24:40):
was a quick realization and I didn't keep ranting.
I didn't sit in frustration towards the driver.
It was an instant like, hey, you're, you're driving.
Who the hell cares? You're turning right in
literally like 20 seconds. What are you doing with 20
seconds of your time? No, exactly.
And that is what I was thinking is like, you know, the one thing
that we are told a lot, whether it's in life or in business or
(25:03):
whatever is that time is precious.
Time is spent. Precious is something that you
can hold. You can keep protected.
Time is not precious because it's spent, because it goes.
It's limited so in that instance.
But you don't. It's.
But The thing is, is to think it's limited means that you know
the end date, but you don't. But it's still limited.
(25:23):
You don't have to know the end date.
There is an end to that date. It's still limited.
But that's the thing, it's it how if you're going to spend
your time, because it's being spent regardless if you use it
or not. Couldn't it still be precious
even if you spend it? People spend precious things all
the time. No, You could do precious
things, but then they start to beat themselves up about it.
They still I didn't achieve thisby this age, I didn't do this by
(25:46):
this. Age.
But that doesn't mean that that wasn't precious or that they
didn't. That just is 0.
I can say that but typically when precious goes towards is
regret because I've heard that from people.
Why did I waste all that time doing this?
Well, how is it precious? Though that doesn't sound like.
No, this is what I hear. I wasted all that time.
Doing this. Right.
(26:07):
Yeah, but their time was. Precious and they felt like it
was wasted because their. Time was precious.
I understand your concept. I'm saying it's just another way
of looking at it. I'm not saying this is the way
that you have to. Be no I'm trying to understand.
Yeah, but I don't see it as being precious because it's
going to be spent. It's already going.
So if you spend your time just focused on just you constantly
you, where am I at? What am I doing for me?
(26:30):
You will find your life being spent on doing a lot of nothing.
This is where I see a lot of really wealthy people who have a
lot of alone have nothing other than to make more money.
They don't have relationships. A lot of it's fake.
When they lose their money, theylose a lot of people because
they were dependent upon them, but that to them they were
(26:51):
parasites was. Valuable.
Well, because it got them those things.
To me, valuable and precious arethe same thing.
So if something's precious, it'sjust valuable.
So to you, time's not valuable. Time is non existent.
So for you. It's just going precious the the
the. The reason why I say it is it
happens regardless. It happens regardless.
(27:12):
But how would that not make it precious?
Life happens regardless. Does that not make life
precious? Because typically if I if I.
See what's precious? Does that not make life
precious? Because.
Life happens can be precious to the but it's not that for me.
I'm just I'm giving a an exampleon this and dude, when I'm
looking at life, it's going to happen regardless.
(27:32):
So if I'm only focused on me, I'll miss it.
And so typically what I hear from people is a lot of regret
because they spent all that timeinstead of going, it's where I'm
at instead of bitching about what I don't have, what I didn't
achieve, what accolades I don't have, what money I have never
made. It doesn't matter because it
(27:53):
it's not there. And I feel that This is why I
say that for me, and this is my own logic, is that I just don't
consider time precious because it's moving forward.
And if I if I say or do something in the past and it
affects my future, it's because of compounded interest of
others. If I leave and move somewhere
(28:13):
else and change my name, that past is no longer.
See, I don't think those two things are necessarily
correlated. I don't have to value my time to
live. In the past, I could value my
time in this very second, the next second.
No, it hasn't even have to be focused on me.
It's the value of time. Yeah.
So to me, time, this moment, thevalue of time is precious.
(28:38):
So. But that's OK.
You have a different perspective.
Well, I'm I'm just not. I don't see the past.
I see what's going forward. Yeah.
What I'm building now is the momentum.
Time to be valuable because timecould be the present, time could
be what you're doing or working on, or ideas like time is just a
moment, no? So if the moment's not valuable
or precious to you, that's OK too.
(28:59):
Well no, it's not serious that Ithink you're misconstruing and
or maybe I'm not explaining it correctly.
It's moving forward regardless. Yes.
So I need to be focused on doinggood things yes, instead of
worrying just about selfish reasons and selfish reasons
meaning chasing things that willnever gain relationships, OK,
(29:21):
The chasing things that are onlyfocused on what I will get in
return, right? I don't I don't want it to be
quid pro quo no. And I feel that a lot of.
Value your time cuz your time. If I really value your
relationships, your time that you do with your things, you
don't value the time as a concept.
You value time as in what I'm talking about perpetual.
(29:42):
Motion. Time.
Yeah, not a the second hand on aclock.
No, the spitting of the air I'm.Talking about moments, time,
real. Time.
That's moments. Not yes.
That's what time is. Which is a memory.
Not the past. I'm not talking about the past.
I'm not talking about how is thememory not the past.
The memory is a thing that's already happened.
Right, which is the? Past the moment is right now, so
(30:04):
I'm talking about right then youcan.
Relive in your mind. But if you're living in your
mind, then I'm not talking aboutreliving in your mind.
I I'm I'm losing where you're going.
I know. I think we're on way different.
Like you're taking it like we'reon different time.
Time is not precious to you. Look, people are precious to me.
Time is not. But couldn't your time 'cause
(30:25):
you? Time is a construct.
What do you spend with someone? Do you spend?
What do you spend with someone? You spend time with someone.
No, I don't spend time. If I spend time with them, it
means I'm sitting there in the room not doing anything.
That's spending time. But if.
I mean if. I'm going out doing something
with you. I'm still spending time with
you. If we're going out eating, if
we're shooting. Bow and arrows, think of the
concept, what you just said there.
(30:45):
You're spending it, you're spending it.
It's. Still time.
No, I know, but the concept of spending time meaning that I'm
investing. But you can't.
You only spend things that are valuable.
You can't spend things that haveno value.
Explain. Well, if it has no value, to
spend something is to like purchase or like to do
something. How do you have an exchange if
(31:06):
something has no value? Yeah, exactly.
You can't 'cause it doesn't have, It goes regardless, so
there's no value to it. That's the thing.
Like the concept of money? No.
It's not a dollar tied to time. I'm not saying it's a dollar
amount, but it is. Because people associate it to
to money. That doesn't mean I have to.
You're saying you. I'm not saying you.
(31:27):
That's what I'm talking about isme.
I'm not talking about a lot of people.
I am talking about a. Lot of I thought you were
talking about your perspective. No, I'm just talking about as a
construct. I mean, it's a.
You said time's not valuable to you, so you were talking about
you when I was talking about me.I'm.
Saying that, OK time. We're not on the same page.
No, no, I, I think, I think we're just jumping over each
(31:48):
other and trying to be right. The thing is, is that it's not
necessarily about time isn't valuable.
It's moving forward. It's what I do with my time that
is going to be seen as valuable.Are you thinking I'm saying
you're wasting your time 'cause it's?
No, I think in that you think that I think that time is not
valuable enough and that precious moments not at all.
(32:09):
I think that's why we're jumpingover each other.
I. Think we're just not on the same
page, which is. OK, well, no, it's there's no
disagreement here. I'm not angry about it.
I know the concept is it's just like here's where I see that a
lot of people tie value to moneyand time is money.
So when they I mean Brandon, I will say for you, it is a big
(32:32):
thing for you in your value of who you are with how your family
sees you and how people see. You they know I have no money.
I no, no, no. But I know that's hard for you.
I know that's extremely difficult for you to.
Have no money? Yeah.
No, the perception of others that see you have no money.
I don't. Really.
You would love to be wealthy. You would love to be wealthy,
(32:54):
and not necessarily in a way will you be gaudy, but just to
say that you would. Love to not have to worry about
money. Yes totally cause having no
stress of money sounds like I think everyone.
I think it would be wonderful right now, especially for a lot
of us. Values stress of money.
I know, but that's the, that's the thing I'm, I'm thinking
about where I'm just like when we attach so much to that 'cause
(33:14):
we need it. But a lot of times it comes
towards, well, what am I driving?
When I, I, I, I can see this with a lot of people.
What am I wearing? What am I doing in my life?
What vacation am I able to do? What cool things can I be able
to achieve with it 'cause it's always tied to money, to time.
And it's only tiny bits of time where we'll waste our lives and,
(33:35):
and at a job and then come home and say, well, I'll give time to
my family two weeks out of the year or a month out of the year
if I can, right. I think about now where the
change that I have the, the, thetrade off, it's hard because now
I take away a lot more of my time away from my family and it,
it's, I can feel it, they can feel it.
(33:57):
And so it's like that sucks because I want to go back.
I want to just have some, something helping me out.
But where I'm able to stay thereand it and it, you can't have it
both ways. So I have to look at it going,
well, what am I doing spending my time on something that's
going to continue to be able to make me OK.
And a lot of times people get stuck in jobs that sucked their
(34:21):
souls. Dude, when I worked at the state
hospital, when I worked for the state.
Oh yeah, you watch people just sucking job.
But do they age so fast when they start?
Because of what you see and whatyou deal with constantly.
It do. I know a guy there, one of the
sweetest guys in the world. He got a job there right out of
high school. He retired from a job that maybe
(34:42):
at his peak he made $14.00 an hour.
That's horrible. Why I know it's horrible is
because you would have a break. You would have a ish 4 hour
break, then you would sleep and then you'd come right back.
That's how it felt. I did that for 10 years.
Do I regret some of it? No, because I learned a lot.
(35:06):
But I can say that. In the very moment you were if
it wasn't anyway. But if I didn't have events that
made me get up and push past, not because I some motivational
thing, it was just because I'd had enough.
And I know that a lot of people can't do that.
And I couldn't do it for 10 years and I had to lose my job
(35:28):
to put me on on a different path.
If not, this would not be happening.
I would be out to here on my second wife maybe, but I'd be
great at Halo. Wow.
What's going on? I would I would have one of
those shirts that goes halfway. You know where it's like half
gut, It's like 1/2. It's like a it's like a planet.
(35:51):
It's got sun on this side of this.
But it's great 'cause you can put your snacks and your drink
up there. I wouldn't smoke weed, I'd be
drinking. I would die.
You know, I, I mean, honestly, man, I think about that and I,
that's why I tend to try and go away from that concept that,
that it's super valuable becausein my mind, and this is just my
construct and this is probably why I went way off to me,
(36:13):
looking back and worrying about the things that hurt me or
prevented me from doing stuff and continuing to dwell on that
really made me regret time I spent.
But where I started going is just like, well, I can't do
anything about that. But where I know my investments
in time have been paying off is the relationships and the
(36:36):
friendships and the events that happened that are positive,
generally positive. I I don't remember a tragic
event that happened around friendship.
But see, to me, all those thingsthat you find valuable is just
time. That to me is specific time.
(36:56):
I know it was incredible and seeit makes a lot of sense.
I mean based on on on our behavioral profiles as well.
Time is extremely important to you.
Like this morning I was late 'cause I was exhausted.
I didn't stay up looking at memes.
I. It was just more like I realized
this is our second Saturday of doing it.
We haven't been doing Saturdays long, no.
And both Saturdays have been late.
(37:17):
And I'm like, is it realistic tohave an 8:00 recording time?
On a Saturday and the and the whole thing for me is just
because I don't I, I, I don't want to spend all my day on the
road or anything like that, you know, but it regardless, no, I,
I and I get your, your concept and that's why I'm like for me
and, and other people may as well they look at it going well.
(37:40):
If I go back, then I'm I'm not going forward.
And that's the way I perceive it.
I. Perceive it too, 'cause if I
live in my past, you're not in now and you are wasting your
time because you're literally throwing it away or living in a
memory or whatever. Which is fine At moments like I
think about grandpa times, I think about moments in the past.
But I try and not live there because I feel like living in
(38:03):
the past is wasted time. True.
Just throwing away my time because it's depressive.
It's whatever. Same with living in the future.
All these non existent moments of all these millions of
possibilities which create so much anxiety of moments that 99%
of those never fucking happen. Which is again, wasted time.
(38:25):
Time just thrown away. But this moment, this time right
now is incredibly valuable because I can throw it away and
live in these depressive momentsor all these anxious forward
ones. So to me, time this, this moment
being present is incredibly valuable because time, not how
much time do I have? What did I do?
(38:46):
Yeah, there's that fucked up part of me, but that's not truly
valuable. That's just like, I've got this
anxiety about what am I doing? Oh, I know and and I'm not
saying that I'm not. And I and I meant it in no way
of malice on that side. What I, what I was meaning on
that one is that the, the concepts are taught to us and
then that be that behavior comesfrom culture and that culture
(39:08):
starts to perpetuate and then itpropagates itself further into
our children because of how we, we treat certain things.
And so I, I think my concept wasI grew up a lot of that like we
got to go, got to get there. Come on, it's.
Cool. Have you met my family?
Oh yeah. But I, I don't like that.
Don't tell me what to do. I don't.
I am super oppositional. I am outspoken.
(39:30):
I hate authority. I have defiance to stupid rules
that make no sense. When someone tells me something
and it doesn't make sense in my head I go why in the fuck do you
want me to do this? And you think I'm going to do
this? You gave me no real reason why.
This goes against everything that my brain tells me I should
actually do. Give me a fucking reason.
(39:52):
Tell me why. No, dude, I mean, you're, you
know, you grew up in a family where money was the most
important thing. It was the most important thing
and. I don't know.
Well, I would say. That Mormon church was the most
important thing. Which was money attached to
money. Like, I mean, I look at where,
you know, grandma and grandpa, like the church wasn't
(40:13):
important. It was more of the acts of being
able to be a part of this. Yeah, it was the community
culture. Right.
It was the Mormon, the Mormon Utah culture, right?
It was like you will do these things and you will be a pillar
of the community and and you will you will not take anything
for yourself it. Was like money wasn't.
Talking away. We didn't even know we had an
(40:35):
e-mail. That's the thing.
That's why I said that. Money was never valuable.
It was like. No, it wasn't taught to you
guys. It was valuable.
It was taught. It wasn't around you, but you
guys probably had it. You never knew.
No, no. And my family didn't treat it
like, see, that's the thing. I'm just saying the contrast.
My family didn't treat it like that.
It was hand to mouth. Yeah, that's what it felt like
was hand to mouth because it waslike, oh, we're really poor, we
(40:56):
don't have you can. Understand from grandma and
grandpa though. Yeah, they have so much money.
Because they're incredibly frugal.
And I know and that's. That's what your mama's raised.
About it of like, oh, it's the Teresa in me, but really it
should probably be the Louise inme, you know dude oh shit, I.
Mean the funniest thing that woman ever gave me was dried
apples in a plastic bag that hadjalapeno Peppers in it.
(41:20):
Not the surprise I wanted it wasspicy apple and they weren't
even really good dehydrated. She never did very good at
dehydrating fruit. No, it was always like.
Canned stuff from forever ago orthings and you're like, what in
the world? So, yeah, but you know, it's a
it's that it's just like, you know, I'm, I'm trying to, I
(41:40):
think that the what, what I'm getting around, even with this
whole thing is that I just see so many people put so much
emphasis on where they're wasting their time.
And I understand that, but a lotof times they do it because they
think they got no other alternative because that.
Yeah, but. See, to me, time is like where
it's actually valuable, like yousaid, in your relationships.
(42:02):
Yeah. With my kids, with my partner,
with my friends. That's where time is valuable.
With my family, Yeah. It's not what I'm doing 9:00 to
5:00. It's not what stupid things I
did. Like that doesn't fucking
matter. The time.
That's valuable. No, your job doesn't define you.
Is what did they get to do with my kids?
What moments did we share? What was created like what?
(42:23):
That is time. That's valuable.
That is what, And that's what those people.
No, I agree with that. Man, I wish I didn't.
I wish you hadn't spent all thistime and money doing this
because now I get back and realize I didn't need all this
money. I wish I had surrounded myself
with love and people and and shared this time with these
people because that is what was valuable, wasn't it?
(42:45):
Wasn't the stupid money we spentor the fact that we were in this
country or this country or wearing these shoes or driving
this car. It didn't fucking matter.
At the end of the day, the badgewas on that thing.
It was the time, it was the entertainment, it was the fun
shared. It was that moment in that bond
that was created where time disappears.
You forget about the fucking hand on the clock.
(43:08):
That's what's valuable. It is time, but it's not time by
2nd and 2nd and 2nd. And what time is it?
No, here this is, it's time of like you're 80 years old and you
go fuck. I wish I had done this with my
time. I wish I had spent more time
with my kids. I wish I had done this with my
kids. I wish I'd done this with my
(43:28):
wife, because you would, man. I spent all this time doing this
work or I spent all this time stressing about this and it
wasn't fucking important. Do you?
Remember having those conversations with grandpa?
Oh yeah, yeah, he would. He would say that man.
He would be like. But that's what it is.
Is he realized the time was valuable.
I wish. I had done.
(43:49):
This. And instead I focused on my
money, I focused on this church,I focused on this and then I
didn't spend the time. I didn't take the time with my
family, with my kids, with whatever because that is
valuable. That time is all we have.
And at the end of the day, when it's like, 'cause like you said
it, it doesn't all the day-to-day shit isn't what
(44:11):
matters. It's like, man, how did I
connect with my kid? What is?
What is that kid going to remember today?
Oh well, it was another day. Did I give my kid a real fucking
hug? Did I look him in the eyes and
go, Hey, do you know that I loveyou?
Do you know how amazing you are?That kind of time, the time that
we didn't always get growing up.Well.
(44:34):
Not because they didn't want to or didn't, they didn't know how
they didn't have it. Their parents didn't and their
parents didn't. And it's just so take the
fucking time. Send us a message, we'll send
you one back. Take the time.
And and that just it brought up some of this watch childhood
friend, the only childhood friend that you know, I was
(44:56):
really close to Danny. He died a little over a year he
almost a year ago. Fuck no.
It's been not long. I don't know, just time just
flies. But Danny died and Daddy's
eulogy, his brother did. He started out looking through
Danny's journals and he started his journal outgoing.
(45:16):
I have all the time in the worldand then whole, you know, goes
through everything. And he ended with his dad, his
dad. Danny's dad set up fucking
franchises is what Danny's dad did.
Danny, Danny's dad had three wives and three kids with three
different wives. And he was pretty old too, when
his last wife, I mean, he died, I think in his late, I think in
(45:39):
his mid 60s. And his youngest was like 8.
Oh, wow. And his oldest one was, I think
some of them have passed already.
Yeah, yeah. Danny met Danny's dad, met his
mom in Vietnam. And but his dad, when he was
dying, he says, I wish I would have used my time better.
I think this is where I get thatjadedness from because my friend
(46:00):
Danny was just obsessed with money, with drinking and smoking
cigarettes. Gross.
And Danny's life was his momentswere fishing and drinking and
fishing and drinking and drivingdrunk and drinking and fishing
and drinking. And that guy drank and you know,
(46:21):
where he his whole goal was to be better and he would drink
that, that that disappointment. Yeah, but anyways.
Hey, this has been a heavy episode.
Yeah, but we love you guys. We love you.
Thanks for tuning in, for sending us emails, messages, and
for being the reason we show up every week.
(46:43):
Yeah, don't. Don't smoke these two types of
straights together. God are three of them.
Yeah. Joe Mix, Cougar Pass, slurty #3
and great voodoo I think. Slurty #3 really threw me off
that. Was not a favorite 1 so.
All right, kids.
I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse, we're cannabis
school. Having cannabis infused
conversations. With everyday people.
Cannabis companies. Celebrities.
And your mom? Welcome to the sesh.
Oh, there you go. And it's just like.
Oh no, I love the feeling already though, like it's
already like washing over and taking another one made me feel
(00:22):
a little anxious in my back. It was weird for being very high
terps and all of that like it. Love these things dude, they're
so nice and we. Have a code down below.
This is 189. Jesse's got their hot knife at
home. Oh I will bring it next time.
It is great. One of the best hot knives man I
(00:42):
love it. Charges quickly, it's strong,
easy to clean. I just have like a tissue.
Keep it heated. It only heats up when you hold
on to it. Tap it twice, 05 times, tap it
five times and you see it power up charges really quick.
That's another thing to talk about charging that charges
fast. Yeah they do.
(01:03):
You can't use it while it charges.
However I found if it has even alittle battery, I unplug it,
take my dab, plug it back in dude.
Totally killed it. Right.
Yeah. Because I used to have.
I like to have a little dab before I drive home.
Yeah, definitely. It's a darker grape now, but it
tastes like grape. Yeah, but it's it's so light.
(01:25):
Not like. It's relaxing, too.
None of the strains have been foggy or heavy or overly like.
Well, I wouldn't say that about Zotter and my wife, dude.
So I turned the temps up after we were talking to Bijan.
Yeah, I was like, I'm going to run it at, you know, 490.
You know, that's the size I wantto go.
(01:46):
And Steph and I have been using it at 435.
It's a huge jump. Yeah.
And it produces bigger clouds. Heads up.
Oh good, oh great. And she took a regular hit off
of the lower temp, which means you can pull a little longer.
Yes, she took a hit like that and I was like, where's that
(02:08):
Hold on, I got to get for dramatic effect and she coughed
for probably forever. Dude, I felt so bad.
And then after cottonmouth, whatdid you do?
Jesse on Saturday smoked 3 strains.
Hell yeah. Whoa, whoa, yeah, that
(02:29):
definitely hits. You get that beta carefully
right there. That's got to be in there.
To the face. So let's see, most dominant
terpene is limiting, and then carefully and then humaline.
The care of oh, humaline. That's the uplifting part.
I like humaline. So it's weird because the beta
(02:51):
pineene is higher, but muricine has double the amount as beta
pineene. So maybe it was, I don't know.
It's not really. Cool muricine will get that at
the higher temps it'll get you coughing.
I could feel that in my throat right now.
You. Yeah, way down here, yeah.
Feel it back here like it's tight and burning.
(03:11):
This has 4% CBGA. Wow, that's fantastic.
It's a good for pain. Yeah, it's such a nice.
Anti I like it because it's not a super, super heady strain.
It's very cool, it's uplifting, perfect.
For what we feel like right about here.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you know, and, andgo to that one.
(03:33):
Here's the thing that popped in my head as I was driving home
and I was I was feeling that energy that's going around.
Yeah, And all I thought was, this may sound callous, but let
the dead bury the dead. Pick up your cross and follow
me. And what?
Why I say that? Why?
Why I brought that up in my mindat that time?
(03:54):
Why every reason why I came there is that this is very
tragic. He died.
Somebody killed somebody else, right?
Assassination. That word, it's tied to incite
anger, grief, frustration. It is a It is a word that's used
to incite emotion. Yeah.
But the word that I wanted to attach to it was moving on.
(04:17):
There's a verse in in in, I think it's in Matthew where
Christ is walking in the sky goes, Hey, I want to follow you.
I want to be a part of you. The good that you doing, just
walking around, helping people, just healing everybody, just
being good. I want to do what you do.
Will you just give me a moment? I have to bury my father.
(04:41):
And he goes, let the dead bury their dad.
Come follow me and we'll, we'll go for the living.
And that's why I started thinking.
It's like I was really hoping that horrible things wouldn't
happen. I was ready for that.
I was ready for crazy violence and just burning.
Just people losing their minds, you know, because we've seen
(05:02):
that when when people are killed, whether on accident, by
malice, whatever, but it turns into this big spectacle and that
person is the other people 'cause the.
Amount of emotion that's. Yeah, that's scary.
That's what this has instilled is so much fear and hatred and.
But you that's that's the thing that I am happy about because
(05:23):
today that happened a few days ago from today, you guys know
this probably happened like few weeks, but.
A week or two. That didn't happen.
There's vigils, there's mourning, there's people going,
this is not tolerable. This isn't OK.
You don't celebrate the killing of a person, regardless of
(05:45):
whatever they believed. This isn't the world that we we
have been told we don't live in.I I shouldn't have to be afraid.
My kids lock down. Your kids school was on lockdown
too for hours. And all the kids, dude, even my
10 year old talking about it. My daughter was half a block
(06:06):
like her school is half a block away from that one.
And it made sense. I was like, why they locked it
down? They found the guy through.
Door cams, yeah. My friend on the other side, his
whole neighborhood was on lockdowns.
They're like don't leave your house, We're hunting.
And it was through door cams andother things to try and find
footage and. They did a big walk.
I mean, I was across the lake, Brandon.
(06:28):
I live across a lake from each other.
I didn't even think about that. You know, the coolest thing
would be is if I had a fucking boat and I say hey, I'll meet
you at the pier. I did at the dock.
That'd be so cool. I loved going across the lake,
dude. That'd be great.
We think about that, yeah. Would we be able?
To. Get.
It's so much faster, but we there was a the one of the
(06:51):
bishops in my parents were growing up.
He So for those who aren't Mormon, that's like.
It's like a pastor. Yeah, like a pastor in your
church, kind of. Pastor, there's bishops.
'Cause he's just for that neighborhood, kind of, yeah.
That congregation specifically. Those people who go there?
But he was actually part of the plan to build a bridge over 20.
Years. Oh, I remember about that one.
(07:12):
That would have been cool. And it's still talk about like
all the time because it would cut that commute in.
Like even in a boat when you're going 20-30 miles an hour, it's
like 10 minutes. We'll do those.
The French carp that were released into that and just
completely destroyed the ecosystem.
They are the reason why that that place is just it's not what
(07:35):
I when I was a little little kid, it didn't look like that.
No, but the State Department actually put out a video that
was actually really fucking funny this year, and it was
about the water quality at Utah Lake.
And they're like, it actually isnot bad.
It's like it's healthy. You can swim in it.
You won't get sick from it. They've test like.
(07:56):
Same with algae. Stuff always the joke of when we
were growing it well, there was a giant steel refinery that was
like built right on it and now it's.
Time dumped in it or whatever itwas, just like.
Yeah. And and you know, that place is
now called Vineyard. It's a city now.
And I'm like, yeah. It's crazy.
(08:17):
Yeah, something's going to happen.
It's going to be a couple generations of three arms over
there. But no, it wasn't a nuclear
power plant, but I mean, it was a steel refinery.
They, they had so many. Dude, there was a fire in this
building down there. I know I'm going off topic, I'll
bring it back, but there was a fire in this building and the
chemical fire was so bad that itwas condemned and they couldn't
even demolish it. What?
(08:38):
They weren't allowed to demolishit because of the chemicals in
there. Over a Geneva.
It was a building. It was a small building.
Is it? Still there.
No, it was finally leveled. Oh.
Eventually. But it was like 20 plus years
before they could level it. That's crazy.
Well, you know, they do liquid nitrogen and all that stuff.
You know those clouds that you'll see driving north?
(08:59):
That's liquid nitrogen plant. Oh wow.
Those big giant circles, Yeah, Yep, that's liquid nitrogen.
Those guys just make it there. That's not our topic for today,
guys. We're all over the.
Place the The topic is is it's. Suicide Awareness Month.
Just suicide. Well, in an invention, yeah.
Well, I mean, I don't even know if we could do prevention.
(09:20):
It's it's just being more aware of others emotions and asking
more questions. And and it contradictory to like
what you might have thought or grown up thinking, it doesn't
make it more likely to happen totalk to someone about it, to ask
if they're struggling with it orask if they need help like it.
But there's signs. I mean, The thing is, is there
(09:42):
there are things that can go on and it's just not like you want
to study it, you know, and people want to be aware of it.
But when there's a dramatic change in somebody's.
Yeah. Apathy, and you can start
noticing that. I know in my deepest, darkest,
(10:03):
hardest moments of life that I have sat there with a gun in my
hand, wondering like I. And I know there's been.
What took you there? Divorce, alcohol, everything in
life. What was going through your
mind? Pain What's?
What is? Painless pain like immense
amount of pain like. Where did the pain come from?
Not feeling like I, feeling likethe world, my family, my kids,
(10:27):
my ex-wife, you know, my parents, my siblings would be
better off. What brought you to that .0?
Everything. What were you doing that made
you feel like that? Everything, it was divorce, it
was not having my kids around. It was like struggling with it
and going. What part of the divorce got you
there? I.
Mean you haven't gone through it.
No, no, I'm not. I'm asking you that's why.
(10:48):
I mean, it's so much you go through.
I mean, everyone's divorce is isdifferent.
Oh, I wouldn't think it would bepleasant for anybody.
For me, it was like losing who Ithought was my best friend, but
also simultaneously losing my kids and.
Did that take away purpose for you?
(11:08):
I had never really like. I never realized how much I
loved being a dad, how much I valued being a dad.
Would you say that before you kind of took it for granted?
Maybe in some ways. I have.
But like, yeah, I guess so. My perspective on like time with
my kids and stuff has shifted somuch since that moment because
(11:30):
every moment is sacred. It's so valuable.
It's I can't exchange that time for anything.
I wouldn't change that time for anything.
And and I think that was just such heart, like emotional pain
can be so physically hurting to the point that you're like, it
(11:53):
would be so much easier for me, for everyone else, if just I
wasn't here. And that really sucks.
Like because I know it's not just me who's been through that
moment. It's been endless amounts of
people who have sat in that moment of like, the world would
be a better place without me here.
Can I, can I, can I stop you fora second?
(12:13):
I understand that feeling that you were feeling, but on, on, on
a, on a different plane, but one, you know, I hear you and
that, and that's hard. It's hard to talk about.
But the thing and the reason whyit's so good that we're going
through this man, is that you, you still have this about you.
Like there's this drive desire to be something more than you
(12:36):
think you are and that there's not, you're not doing enough,
you're not being enough. You can't provide enough, you
can't do anything enough. And and that's hard, but it's
easy for somebody on the outsideto say, well, just change your
disposition just. Keep fucking happy, right?
(12:57):
And you'll get that along. And then it's good to talk about
this because it's not that easy,you know, that switch.
And you can't just switch it off.
No and and and. You can't just take that pain
and go you don't exist. Well, I mean, before for me, you
know, I think about that even, you know, I, I've had somebody
very close to me that went through that and, and
(13:22):
immediately from my perspective was anger.
How dare you? Yeah.
It's how dare you. Selfishness.
How big? Yeah.
Yeah, but I didn't understand what pain was.
And so I I can't ever met. From that point on, I've learned
(13:42):
it wasn't easy. It was still hard.
It's because of those moments that you realize that it's OK to
be selfish. We tend to put ourselves last
because we think that it's easier there.
I can define myself there. I just work hard, do those
things, and I'll be fine. And a lot of people get to that
(14:04):
point where you were talking about I don't understand that
point. I don't.
And I'm blessed because I have severe ADHD because I could slow
down long enough to go fuck thatreally sucks and I can't.
I don't think I'm coming back from this.
My mind will be like, hey, is that blue?
See, that would be pleasant. I think more people should could
(14:26):
use that. I know that's why it's a curse
and a blessing, but yeah, it doesn't mean I and A lot of this
comes from understanding, you know, it's it's it's sucks And
and it really was, it was almostpatronizing for me to say like,
you know, listen more. You need to pay attention more.
No, what I mean is is that be aware of them.
(14:46):
And in existence, it's our livesare chaotic, they're messy, and
we can see one thing happened inthis world, which happens all
the time, which I saw that on social media.
Oh, well, you know, since he waskilled, all these other things
happened. Yes, totally get it.
(15:08):
But The thing is, is that there's a lot more behind it
than just a person dying and every single person that's
connected to it, that is their tragedy.
That's their tragedy. And 1 isn't greater than the
other one is just felt more. I was.
Just more personal to one personthan another.
(15:30):
We are attached to those. Before it was we were attached
to celebrities, right? Celebrities were attached to.
And then when YouTube came out then you could speak up and it
was. It's a double edged sword.
So many content creators have killed themselves because of
(15:50):
hateful things said to them. And for me in my ADHD brain
going. Or even death threats or like
people who stalked or crazy shit.
And it's like. Why in the world?
And that's the thing. It's when you're allowed to just
experience emotions internally too long, tragic things happen
either to yourself or to others.And when you allow yourself to
(16:15):
just be angry in a, in a fuckingtube, just like, and you're just
saying and you're, you're reacting.
To the moment in it like. Yeah, it we.
Yeah, we don't like, it's not letting that anger go, no.
What's the point of it? That was I don't know if I've
(16:37):
talked. Maybe I probably talked about
this. I had never hated my ex-wife
before until I tried to fight custody for things that were
going on that were not OK. And through that I found this
hatred for this person I never hated, but just because of what
it had done to my kids and was doing to my kids.
(16:59):
And the fact that it seemed likeshe didn't care.
And that wasn't the person I thought I had ever known in my
life. And it just that hatred and that
anger hanging on to that is likeI realized it affected me, but
it affected my relationships. It affected people.
Like it doesn't affect her it. Affects.
(17:19):
Me and people I interact with and engage with and, and why
would I give her that energy to let her ruin other parts of my
life for something that doesn't matter?
Like, and it's this hatred and this anger, like in a tube or
wherever that we, we just hang on to instead of letting that
(17:40):
hatred and that anger go. Well, and it's culture too,
right? Like, you know, we a lot of us
like Gen. Xers, millennials, all those
Gen. Z, yeah, all that stuff like
around that area that the eras like we were, we weren't taught
to be open about that ever, right?
(18:04):
And it was that wasn't seen, youknow, we, we had depictions of
what people should be and and itserved its purpose for the time
it was it really did because it it gave people fortitude.
It gave him strength. It gave him false bravado.
But when the world has been cracked open with the Internet
and as much as we can be connected, like instantaneously
(18:27):
where somebody's life will feel like they're on top, and then
from people saying things to them, hateful things, just
because that person just felt like they needed to be angry and
hateful and spiteful, you realize that true goodness is
(18:48):
rare. I felt myself angry at those
that I know would have been celebrating the death of an
innocent person anywhere. I, I have a different
perspective on many different things.
Do I feel like I can do I, I have done violence to others.
That's not a thing of if I can or can't.
(19:09):
The thing is, is that when I choose to, and I don't believe
that it should be used for anything to be subjective on to
others, but that's the other, the other side of that coin is
that if it's not there, if that opposition isn't there, then
it's pointless for me to be ableto do that.
So I have to make that the decision in my head going, no,
(19:32):
I'm wrong, I'm upset. And it's hard to look at
yourself that way because you'reonly fed.
Get yours revenge. The waiter didn't do this for my
food. That fucking idiot, stupid chef
back there, I bet he's a fuckingretard.
I bet he's an immigrant, Some shit like that, right?
(19:52):
Immediately people go to hatefulthings, especially about your
service. Fucking can't get a burger
right. I said no onions, you dumb fuck.
Whoa, Oh, it has onions on it. Hey, I'm allergic to these
things. Maybe you're not allergic to it,
but you fucking tell them that they're going to switch it out.
What did they lose? 2 cents?
(20:13):
That company lost $0.02 to swap that thing out.
Maybe so we we treat these things as giant.
Massive inconveniences that justtruly aren't.
Right, and and those who hurt others like I'm I'm going to say
it as it is your wife, your ex-wife, she hurts others and
(20:33):
but she does it with mouth, She does it with intent.
She knows what she wants. She wants her way and she
because it's her way and it doesn't go against the grain.
Sorry I got to drop you off. I'm not going to pay attention
to you. You are going away from my dream
and my dream still hasn't been achieved yet.
Her poor ex, other ex-husband. I I think that that guy was
(20:57):
completely crashed by her. Speaking of Suicide Awareness
Month. That man he he tried to kill
himself multiple times going through Med school.
You know, if you guys are struggling with mental health,
if you guys are struggling with self worth or just struggling,
(21:19):
reach out, shoot us Adm and evenreach out on their personal
ones. You can always find that through
the show. So just no Dick pics please.
Yeah, I prefer those not to be on there.
That the same. Life can feel overwhelming and
there's moments in life when we feel 100% alone or like that we
(21:40):
think the world would be a better place without us.
And it's not. The world is better with you and
it the world is better with you and it, and you know, we, we've
actually gotten quite a few emails over the years from
people with those types of struggles and we've had
(22:00):
incredible connections and amazing stories that have been
shared and real connections built.
And you know, we, we can't take that.
We can't. I just want to say thanks.
And, and everybody, I mean, likeout there, it's, it's easy to
get caught up in the beliefs that you think you have to
(22:25):
achieve based off of, I don't know.
Life. But just it's culture.
Culture usually has a big effecton you, where you're at.
You've lived your culture every because everyone's is different,
everyone's life is different, so.
The one thing that I would always press 0, I always do now
and I do so through my actions and through how I act and I
(22:45):
don't get pushed back from it isthat I, I know that I need to
love everybody and it's been cool because even in traffic, I
won't get pissed at people and Idon't get mad at people often.
And and if I get angry, it's it's a, it's, it's subdued fast
(23:06):
where I just go whoa, I'm wrong.I, I was emotional.
I said these things. I wasn't aware of these things.
I said things that were hurtful because I was angry.
I'm gonna, I'm not going to takeit back.
I'm just going to say I'm sorry I said those things.
I, I made AI made a comment towards a driver the other day,
which I have not done in 15 years.
(23:27):
And the second it came out of mymouth, all I thought was what in
the world? What is going on that you think
it is OK to say that comment? They had no idea.
They never heard my windows wereup.
Lincoln. But it was just the comment that
left my mouth. And I was just like, I'm not
that person. It was good.
I was incredibly disappointed inmyself.
(23:49):
That's who showed up in that very second because I was like,
hey, I don't know what's going on right now that you think this
is OK, that that's not OK. That's another person that's we
don't treat them that way. And it was just we all have
moments and our shortcomings andtimes that we're not in our
greatest. And this is an interesting
(24:13):
episode with. Interesting strain Well, I just
was thinking while you were saying that man it's you are not
you don't have to have this shitfucking who's right there I hate
damn you marijuana No it's. I was happy with myself that it
(24:40):
was a quick realization and I didn't keep ranting.
I didn't sit in frustration towards the driver.
It was an instant like, hey, you're, you're driving.
Who the hell cares? You're turning right in
literally like 20 seconds. What are you doing with 20
seconds of your time? No, exactly.
And that is what I was thinking is like, you know, the one thing
that we are told a lot, whether it's in life or in business or
(25:03):
whatever is that time is precious.
Time is spent. Precious is something that you
can hold. You can keep protected.
Time is not precious because it's spent, because it goes.
It's limited so in that instance.
But you don't. It's.
But The thing is, is to think it's limited means that you know
the end date, but you don't. But it's still limited.
(25:23):
You don't have to know the end date.
There is an end to that date. It's still limited.
But that's the thing, it's it how if you're going to spend
your time, because it's being spent regardless if you use it
or not. Couldn't it still be precious
even if you spend it? People spend precious things all
the time. No, You could do precious
things, but then they start to beat themselves up about it.
They still I didn't achieve thisby this age, I didn't do this by
(25:46):
this. Age.
But that doesn't mean that that wasn't precious or that they
didn't. That just is 0.
I can say that but typically when precious goes towards is
regret because I've heard that from people.
Why did I waste all that time doing this?
Well, how is it precious? Though that doesn't sound like.
No, this is what I hear. I wasted all that time.
Doing this. Right.
(26:07):
Yeah, but their time was. Precious and they felt like it
was wasted because their. Time was precious.
I understand your concept. I'm saying it's just another way
of looking at it. I'm not saying this is the way
that you have to. Be no I'm trying to understand.
Yeah, but I don't see it as being precious because it's
going to be spent. It's already going.
So if you spend your time just focused on just you constantly
you, where am I at? What am I doing for me?
(26:30):
You will find your life being spent on doing a lot of nothing.
This is where I see a lot of really wealthy people who have a
lot of alone have nothing other than to make more money.
They don't have relationships. A lot of it's fake.
When they lose their money, theylose a lot of people because
they were dependent upon them, but that to them they were
(26:51):
parasites was. Valuable.
Well, because it got them those things.
To me, valuable and precious arethe same thing.
So if something's precious, it'sjust valuable.
So to you, time's not valuable. Time is non existent.
So for you. It's just going precious the the
the. The reason why I say it is it
happens regardless. It happens regardless.
(27:12):
But how would that not make it precious?
Life happens regardless. Does that not make life
precious? Because typically if I if I.
See what's precious? Does that not make life
precious? Because.
Life happens can be precious to the but it's not that for me.
I'm just I'm giving a an exampleon this and dude, when I'm
looking at life, it's going to happen regardless.
(27:32):
So if I'm only focused on me, I'll miss it.
And so typically what I hear from people is a lot of regret
because they spent all that timeinstead of going, it's where I'm
at instead of bitching about what I don't have, what I didn't
achieve, what accolades I don't have, what money I have never
made. It doesn't matter because it
(27:53):
it's not there. And I feel that This is why I
say that for me, and this is my own logic, is that I just don't
consider time precious because it's moving forward.
And if I if I say or do something in the past and it
affects my future, it's because of compounded interest of
others. If I leave and move somewhere
(28:13):
else and change my name, that past is no longer.
See, I don't think those two things are necessarily
correlated. I don't have to value my time to
live. In the past, I could value my
time in this very second, the next second.
No, it hasn't even have to be focused on me.
It's the value of time. Yeah.
So to me, time, this moment, thevalue of time is precious.
(28:38):
So. But that's OK.
You have a different perspective.
Well, I'm I'm just not. I don't see the past.
I see what's going forward. Yeah.
What I'm building now is the momentum.
Time to be valuable because timecould be the present, time could
be what you're doing or working on, or ideas like time is just a
moment, no? So if the moment's not valuable
or precious to you, that's OK too.
(28:59):
Well no, it's not serious that Ithink you're misconstruing and
or maybe I'm not explaining it correctly.
It's moving forward regardless. Yes.
So I need to be focused on doinggood things yes, instead of
worrying just about selfish reasons and selfish reasons
meaning chasing things that willnever gain relationships, OK,
(29:21):
The chasing things that are onlyfocused on what I will get in
return, right? I don't I don't want it to be
quid pro quo no. And I feel that a lot of.
Value your time cuz your time. If I really value your
relationships, your time that you do with your things, you
don't value the time as a concept.
You value time as in what I'm talking about perpetual.
(29:42):
Motion. Time.
Yeah, not a the second hand on aclock.
No, the spitting of the air I'm.Talking about moments, time,
real. Time.
That's moments. Not yes.
That's what time is. Which is a memory.
Not the past. I'm not talking about the past.
I'm not talking about how is thememory not the past.
The memory is a thing that's already happened.
Right, which is the? Past the moment is right now, so
(30:04):
I'm talking about right then youcan.
Relive in your mind. But if you're living in your
mind, then I'm not talking aboutreliving in your mind.
I I'm I'm losing where you're going.
I know. I think we're on way different.
Like you're taking it like we'reon different time.
Time is not precious to you. Look, people are precious to me.
Time is not. But couldn't your time 'cause
(30:25):
you? Time is a construct.
What do you spend with someone? Do you spend?
What do you spend with someone? You spend time with someone.
No, I don't spend time. If I spend time with them, it
means I'm sitting there in the room not doing anything.
That's spending time. But if.
I mean if. I'm going out doing something
with you. I'm still spending time with
you. If we're going out eating, if
we're shooting. Bow and arrows, think of the
concept, what you just said there.
(30:45):
You're spending it, you're spending it.
It's. Still time.
No, I know, but the concept of spending time meaning that I'm
investing. But you can't.
You only spend things that are valuable.
You can't spend things that haveno value.
Explain. Well, if it has no value, to
spend something is to like purchase or like to do
something. How do you have an exchange if
(31:06):
something has no value? Yeah, exactly.
You can't 'cause it doesn't have, It goes regardless, so
there's no value to it. That's the thing.
Like the concept of money? No.
It's not a dollar tied to time. I'm not saying it's a dollar
amount, but it is. Because people associate it to
to money. That doesn't mean I have to.
You're saying you. I'm not saying you.
(31:27):
That's what I'm talking about isme.
I'm not talking about a lot of people.
I am talking about a. Lot of I thought you were
talking about your perspective. No, I'm just talking about as a
construct. I mean, it's a.
You said time's not valuable to you, so you were talking about
you when I was talking about me.I'm.
Saying that, OK time. We're not on the same page.
No, no, I, I think, I think we're just jumping over each
(31:48):
other and trying to be right. The thing is, is that it's not
necessarily about time isn't valuable.
It's moving forward. It's what I do with my time that
is going to be seen as valuable.Are you thinking I'm saying
you're wasting your time 'cause it's?
No, I think in that you think that I think that time is not
valuable enough and that precious moments not at all.
(32:09):
I think that's why we're jumpingover each other.
I. Think we're just not on the same
page, which is. OK, well, no, it's there's no
disagreement here. I'm not angry about it.
I know the concept is it's just like here's where I see that a
lot of people tie value to moneyand time is money.
So when they I mean Brandon, I will say for you, it is a big
(32:32):
thing for you in your value of who you are with how your family
sees you and how people see. You they know I have no money.
I no, no, no. But I know that's hard for you.
I know that's extremely difficult for you to.
Have no money? Yeah.
No, the perception of others that see you have no money.
I don't. Really.
You would love to be wealthy. You would love to be wealthy,
(32:54):
and not necessarily in a way will you be gaudy, but just to
say that you would. Love to not have to worry about
money. Yes totally cause having no
stress of money sounds like I think everyone.
I think it would be wonderful right now, especially for a lot
of us. Values stress of money.
I know, but that's the, that's the thing I'm, I'm thinking
about where I'm just like when we attach so much to that 'cause
(33:14):
we need it. But a lot of times it comes
towards, well, what am I driving?
When I, I, I, I can see this with a lot of people.
What am I wearing? What am I doing in my life?
What vacation am I able to do? What cool things can I be able
to achieve with it 'cause it's always tied to money, to time.
And it's only tiny bits of time where we'll waste our lives and,
(33:35):
and at a job and then come home and say, well, I'll give time to
my family two weeks out of the year or a month out of the year
if I can, right. I think about now where the
change that I have the, the, thetrade off, it's hard because now
I take away a lot more of my time away from my family and it,
it's, I can feel it, they can feel it.
(33:57):
And so it's like that sucks because I want to go back.
I want to just have some, something helping me out.
But where I'm able to stay thereand it and it, you can't have it
both ways. So I have to look at it going,
well, what am I doing spending my time on something that's
going to continue to be able to make me OK.
And a lot of times people get stuck in jobs that sucked their
(34:21):
souls. Dude, when I worked at the state
hospital, when I worked for the state.
Oh yeah, you watch people just sucking job.
But do they age so fast when they start?
Because of what you see and whatyou deal with constantly.
It do. I know a guy there, one of the
sweetest guys in the world. He got a job there right out of
high school. He retired from a job that maybe
(34:42):
at his peak he made $14.00 an hour.
That's horrible. Why I know it's horrible is
because you would have a break. You would have a ish 4 hour
break, then you would sleep and then you'd come right back.
That's how it felt. I did that for 10 years.
Do I regret some of it? No, because I learned a lot.
(35:06):
But I can say that. In the very moment you were if
it wasn't anyway. But if I didn't have events that
made me get up and push past, not because I some motivational
thing, it was just because I'd had enough.
And I know that a lot of people can't do that.
And I couldn't do it for 10 years and I had to lose my job
(35:28):
to put me on on a different path.
If not, this would not be happening.
I would be out to here on my second wife maybe, but I'd be
great at Halo. Wow.
What's going on? I would I would have one of
those shirts that goes halfway. You know where it's like half
gut, It's like 1/2. It's like a it's like a planet.
(35:51):
It's got sun on this side of this.
But it's great 'cause you can put your snacks and your drink
up there. I wouldn't smoke weed, I'd be
drinking. I would die.
You know, I, I mean, honestly, man, I think about that and I,
that's why I tend to try and go away from that concept that,
that it's super valuable becausein my mind, and this is just my
construct and this is probably why I went way off to me,
(36:13):
looking back and worrying about the things that hurt me or
prevented me from doing stuff and continuing to dwell on that
really made me regret time I spent.
But where I started going is just like, well, I can't do
anything about that. But where I know my investments
in time have been paying off is the relationships and the
(36:36):
friendships and the events that happened that are positive,
generally positive. I I don't remember a tragic
event that happened around friendship.
But see, to me, all those thingsthat you find valuable is just
time. That to me is specific time.
(36:56):
I know it was incredible and seeit makes a lot of sense.
I mean based on on on our behavioral profiles as well.
Time is extremely important to you.
Like this morning I was late 'cause I was exhausted.
I didn't stay up looking at memes.
I. It was just more like I realized
this is our second Saturday of doing it.
We haven't been doing Saturdays long, no.
And both Saturdays have been late.
(37:17):
And I'm like, is it realistic tohave an 8:00 recording time?
On a Saturday and the and the whole thing for me is just
because I don't I, I, I don't want to spend all my day on the
road or anything like that, you know, but it regardless, no, I,
I and I get your, your concept and that's why I'm like for me
and, and other people may as well they look at it going well.
(37:40):
If I go back, then I'm I'm not going forward.
And that's the way I perceive it.
I. Perceive it too, 'cause if I
live in my past, you're not in now and you are wasting your
time because you're literally throwing it away or living in a
memory or whatever. Which is fine At moments like I
think about grandpa times, I think about moments in the past.
But I try and not live there because I feel like living in
(38:03):
the past is wasted time. True.
Just throwing away my time because it's depressive.
It's whatever. Same with living in the future.
All these non existent moments of all these millions of
possibilities which create so much anxiety of moments that 99%
of those never fucking happen. Which is again, wasted time.
(38:25):
Time just thrown away. But this moment, this time right
now is incredibly valuable because I can throw it away and
live in these depressive momentsor all these anxious forward
ones. So to me, time this, this moment
being present is incredibly valuable because time, not how
much time do I have? What did I do?
(38:46):
Yeah, there's that fucked up part of me, but that's not truly
valuable. That's just like, I've got this
anxiety about what am I doing? Oh, I know and and I'm not
saying that I'm not. And I and I meant it in no way
of malice on that side. What I, what I was meaning on
that one is that the, the concepts are taught to us and
then that be that behavior comesfrom culture and that culture
(39:08):
starts to perpetuate and then itpropagates itself further into
our children because of how we, we treat certain things.
And so I, I think my concept wasI grew up a lot of that like we
got to go, got to get there. Come on, it's.
Cool. Have you met my family?
Oh yeah. But I, I don't like that.
Don't tell me what to do. I don't.
I am super oppositional. I am outspoken.
(39:30):
I hate authority. I have defiance to stupid rules
that make no sense. When someone tells me something
and it doesn't make sense in my head I go why in the fuck do you
want me to do this? And you think I'm going to do
this? You gave me no real reason why.
This goes against everything that my brain tells me I should
actually do. Give me a fucking reason.
(39:52):
Tell me why. No, dude, I mean, you're, you
know, you grew up in a family where money was the most
important thing. It was the most important thing
and. I don't know.
Well, I would say. That Mormon church was the most
important thing. Which was money attached to
money. Like, I mean, I look at where,
you know, grandma and grandpa, like the church wasn't
(40:13):
important. It was more of the acts of being
able to be a part of this. Yeah, it was the community
culture. Right.
It was the Mormon, the Mormon Utah culture, right?
It was like you will do these things and you will be a pillar
of the community and and you will you will not take anything
for yourself it. Was like money wasn't.
Talking away. We didn't even know we had an
(40:35):
e-mail. That's the thing.
That's why I said that. Money was never valuable.
It was like. No, it wasn't taught to you
guys. It was valuable.
It was taught. It wasn't around you, but you
guys probably had it. You never knew.
No, no. And my family didn't treat it
like, see, that's the thing. I'm just saying the contrast.
My family didn't treat it like that.
It was hand to mouth. Yeah, that's what it felt like
was hand to mouth because it waslike, oh, we're really poor, we
(40:56):
don't have you can. Understand from grandma and
grandpa though. Yeah, they have so much money.
Because they're incredibly frugal.
And I know and that's. That's what your mama's raised.
About it of like, oh, it's the Teresa in me, but really it
should probably be the Louise inme, you know dude oh shit, I.
Mean the funniest thing that woman ever gave me was dried
apples in a plastic bag that hadjalapeno Peppers in it.
(41:20):
Not the surprise I wanted it wasspicy apple and they weren't
even really good dehydrated. She never did very good at
dehydrating fruit. No, it was always like.
Canned stuff from forever ago orthings and you're like, what in
the world? So, yeah, but you know, it's a
it's that it's just like, you know, I'm, I'm trying to, I
(41:40):
think that the what, what I'm getting around, even with this
whole thing is that I just see so many people put so much
emphasis on where they're wasting their time.
And I understand that, but a lotof times they do it because they
think they got no other alternative because that.
Yeah, but. See, to me, time is like where
it's actually valuable, like yousaid, in your relationships.
(42:02):
Yeah. With my kids, with my partner,
with my friends. That's where time is valuable.
With my family, Yeah. It's not what I'm doing 9:00 to
5:00. It's not what stupid things I
did. Like that doesn't fucking
matter. The time.
That's valuable. No, your job doesn't define you.
Is what did they get to do with my kids?
What moments did we share? What was created like what?
(42:23):
That is time. That's valuable.
That is what, And that's what those people.
No, I agree with that. Man, I wish I didn't.
I wish you hadn't spent all thistime and money doing this
because now I get back and realize I didn't need all this
money. I wish I had surrounded myself
with love and people and and shared this time with these
people because that is what was valuable, wasn't it?
(42:45):
Wasn't the stupid money we spentor the fact that we were in this
country or this country or wearing these shoes or driving
this car. It didn't fucking matter.
At the end of the day, the badgewas on that thing.
It was the time, it was the entertainment, it was the fun
shared. It was that moment in that bond
that was created where time disappears.
You forget about the fucking hand on the clock.
(43:08):
That's what's valuable. It is time, but it's not time by
2nd and 2nd and 2nd. And what time is it?
No, here this is, it's time of like you're 80 years old and you
go fuck. I wish I had done this with my
time. I wish I had spent more time
with my kids. I wish I had done this with my
kids. I wish I'd done this with my
(43:28):
wife, because you would, man. I spent all this time doing this
work or I spent all this time stressing about this and it
wasn't fucking important. Do you?
Remember having those conversations with grandpa?
Oh yeah, yeah, he would. He would say that man.
He would be like. But that's what it is.
Is he realized the time was valuable.
I wish. I had done.
(43:49):
This. And instead I focused on my
money, I focused on this church,I focused on this and then I
didn't spend the time. I didn't take the time with my
family, with my kids, with whatever because that is
valuable. That time is all we have.
And at the end of the day, when it's like, 'cause like you said
it, it doesn't all the day-to-day shit isn't what
(44:11):
matters. It's like, man, how did I
connect with my kid? What is?
What is that kid going to remember today?
Oh well, it was another day. Did I give my kid a real fucking
hug? Did I look him in the eyes and
go, Hey, do you know that I loveyou?
Do you know how amazing you are?That kind of time, the time that
we didn't always get growing up.Well.
(44:34):
Not because they didn't want to or didn't, they didn't know how
they didn't have it. Their parents didn't and their
parents didn't. And it's just so take the
fucking time. Send us a message, we'll send
you one back. Take the time.
And and that just it brought up some of this watch childhood
friend, the only childhood friend that you know, I was
(44:56):
really close to Danny. He died a little over a year he
almost a year ago. Fuck no.
It's been not long. I don't know, just time just
flies. But Danny died and Daddy's
eulogy, his brother did. He started out looking through
Danny's journals and he started his journal outgoing.
(45:16):
I have all the time in the worldand then whole, you know, goes
through everything. And he ended with his dad, his
dad. Danny's dad set up fucking
franchises is what Danny's dad did.
Danny, Danny's dad had three wives and three kids with three
different wives. And he was pretty old too, when
his last wife, I mean, he died, I think in his late, I think in
(45:39):
his mid 60s. And his youngest was like 8.
Oh, wow. And his oldest one was, I think
some of them have passed already.
Yeah, yeah. Danny met Danny's dad, met his
mom in Vietnam. And but his dad, when he was
dying, he says, I wish I would have used my time better.
I think this is where I get thatjadedness from because my friend
(46:00):
Danny was just obsessed with money, with drinking and smoking
cigarettes. Gross.
And Danny's life was his momentswere fishing and drinking and
fishing and drinking and drivingdrunk and drinking and fishing
and drinking. And that guy drank and you know,
(46:21):
where he his whole goal was to be better and he would drink
that, that that disappointment. Yeah, but anyways.
Hey, this has been a heavy episode.
Yeah, but we love you guys. We love you.
Thanks for tuning in, for sending us emails, messages, and
for being the reason we show up every week.
(46:43):
Yeah, don't. Don't smoke these two types of
straights together. God are three of them.
Yeah. Joe Mix, Cougar Pass, slurty #3
and great voodoo I think. Slurty #3 really threw me off
that. Was not a favorite 1 so.
All right, kids.
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