August 21, 2025 • 44 mins
Lori’s lived the kind of life you usually only see on TV — except hers was real. Same town, same neighborhoods, same chaos that inspired Breaking Bad. Blue crystals, dangerous circles, and a lifestyle that doesn’t leave many people standing.
But Lori made it out. In this Sesh, she shares how she escaped addiction, why the green plant became her lifeline, and the moments that forced her to choose survival over self-destruction. It’s raw, unfiltered, and proof that even in the messiest chapters, there’s still a way forward.
In this episode:
What the “Breaking Bad” life actually looks like up close
The turning point that made her walk away from the blue
How the plant helped her rebuild her mind, body, and life
Lessons from addiction recovery that apply to everyone
Finding peace after chaos
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
I'm Brandon. And I'm.
Jesse we're cannabis school having cannabis infused
conversations with everyday people, cannabis companies,
celebrities and your mom. Welcome to the Sash.
Well, I get the sense that you're a little nervous.
I am nervous. I I don't, I don't usually.
I don't even do social media really.
(00:25):
I'm in nowhere, Oklahoma, where I have cows as my neighbors.
I drive down dirt roads like. Now you're just making me
jealous. That sounds fantastic.
You know, I've, I've been out ofthe mainstream, I guess since I
moved from New Mexico. Like it's just a different world
out here. It's like in the past.
It really is. Everybody moves a lot slower.
(00:46):
I have to learn how to talk slower.
How long have you been out in Oklahoma?
I've been out here 14 years. Oh wow, now.
So what brought you out there? Actually 45 S my great grandma
had a stroke. And was that, and this was a
good thing, though it was a blessing in disguise, was it
not? Well, well, it was, I mean.
In some ways. But at first it wasn't.
(01:08):
I mean, I I'll always be grateful that I was here for my
grandma, but man, I couldn't find a job when I first moved
out here. I wasn't ready for the culture,
the shock of it all. What was the biggest shock and
shift? The nothingness, the just.
There's nothing around, yeah. Nothing around.
It's all flat. I mean, there's three major
industries. It's oil, healthcare and
(01:29):
farming. And I do nothing for those, you
know what I mean? And then I guess small town
politics like small towns and they kind of do their own
things. And man, I'm going to be, I'm
actually going up against a couple counties right now
because it's corrupt. It's corrupt.
It really is like I got arrestedtwice when I about a year after
(01:51):
I moved out here and. Both.
Cops on both police reports liedlied the 1st police report half
the police report was a lie and the other the other one.
I was in a bad accident and I got a DUI and they found a weed
pipe in my car and I woke up in the hospital with the concussion
all kinds of stuff. And I refused the test and I
(02:12):
went straight to jail for DUI and the but the cop didn't put
on the police report that he came in contact with me in the
hospital. He just said well when I came in
contact with her, she was slurring her words.
It seemed incoherent. And he said failed of burnt
marijuana and I hadn't smoked inat least two weeks.
So there was like, no way. I mean, he didn't put I yeah, I
(02:33):
was incoherent. I just come to in the hospital.
Like, I mean, that that was a shock.
That's what put me on my path toaddiction.
Like I was in the Breaking Bad days in New Mexico.
And it was crazy when I watched the series, like all the things
that you hear back then, you know, you never know what's
true, you know, I mean, when youhear things.
But a lot of what I was hearing was true, I guess because I
(02:53):
really, I didn't make all the connections until I watched the
series and. What was the biggest connection
for you? I guess the scientist guy, I
mean, he was a scientist how I heard it when I first heard of
that stuff coming out, it was a guy from Los Alamos Labs that
was making it. He's from Rio Rancho.
And then the gas station that they showed the where Jesse
(03:15):
broke down or he didn't have gas.
That gas station was 15 minutes from my house, filmed it there.
And yeah, those red rocks, I mean, I know where a lot of
those places were, and that was right in my backyard.
Sounds like you were in the heart of all of that then.
As I lived in Hemis, the Hemis mountains, which is in between
Albuquerque and Los Alamos. Los Alamos is a laboratory town.
(03:40):
That's where they made the the atomic bomb.
You have to have A to get in. You have to stop at a checkpoint
just to get into the town. The whole town and still that
way. Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
It got a lot worse after 911, and it's still that way.
And I used to work in Los Alamos, though 'cause I lived in
Hemis, I could either go to Los Alamos and work and drive over a
(04:01):
mountain and go to Los Alamos and work, or I could go into
Albuquerque and work. And I went to UNMLA for a long
time to have a college there. And I worked in Los Alamos for a
long time, or Albuquerque. But yeah, I was working in Los
Alamos when the break, I guess when all that, when I heard
about the guy that had the pure stuff that was like brewish,
(04:22):
whatever, you're the scientist. And the first stuff that I got
that was supposed to be from that guy, I actually ruined
because I was so scared of it. I mean, they, they were like
this. You got to be careful with this.
They were really warning me about it, and so I didn't know
better. Like I wasn't really in the drug
scene out there. I wasn't allowed by some of the
(04:42):
people that I knew. They just wanted to keep me off
the streets. I guess They were just like,
Lori don't have to go over there, and they had places that
they didn't want me to go. But what?
Got you to go there the first time.
You go there was the first person who ever actually gave me
drugs was actually my mom. Take a see that.
I don't think they really knew the first time actually.
(05:03):
Actually the first first time, Iwas 19 and I guess they put
some, my mom put something in mydrink.
I was going to college at UNMLA and I was working and I was a
functioning alcoholic at the time.
And when I moved to New Mexico from Oklahoma when I was
younger, like 13 or 14, I was bullied really hard.
It was a hard moving to New Mexico.
I got 12 fights. I was raped.
(05:26):
I mean, you just had to, you hadto earn your respect.
And the only way to do that was fighting.
And I'd never been in a fight before my life.
But by the time I was a senior, I was functioning an alcoholic
and I was popular. I mean, I was a head
cheerleader. I was still in council.
I'd earned my respect. I mean, but I was fucking
alcoholic. I graduated with decent grades,
(05:47):
but I was probably drunk 85% of the time.
And then through my college years, I drank.
And then after I got out of college, I got pregnant with my
my first son and I quit drinkingand I had my son and then I was
just working a lot and like here, just put a little bit this
in your drink. And OK, so every now and then
(06:07):
when I was like really tired, I'm like mom and she would put a
little bit my drink. And but then I left my ex, like
me, my, my first son's dad brokeup at the time and I went back
to work in Los Alamos and I started leaving my son with my
ex every other weekend. And I'd go out and party with my
friends or whoever, you know, I'd known and it was just round
(06:30):
in the streets. It was just like the party drug
that people did just like stay awake, you know what I mean?
And so I mean, I, I started doing it on the weekends, every
other weekend or whatever. And people would come by my
house because I lived in Hemis and I had connections to people.
It's New Mexico. I mean, I, I met a lot of
people, you know, I don't want to be with the cops, you know, I
(06:52):
mean that what is it, snitches. Get stitches, Yeah.
Yeah, they end up in ditches in New Mexico.
Oh yeah. That that is serious.
Like, I can't even tell you how serious that is.
Oh yeah. You don't want your name and
paperwork, You don't want any. You don't want to be caught cock
talking to the cops. Period.
Oh no. Oh, no, that's right.
(07:13):
Like, I mean, it's, it's a levelout there.
It's it's a different, I mean, it's nice to visit, but to live
there you have to walk a line a respect.
I mean you could just be go downthe wrong St. and see the wrong
thing and you may never come back out of it.
So when did when did the weekends start turning into more
than the weekends? Dad didn't actually start till I
(07:35):
moved to Oklahoma. Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I mean, I lived through all that, but I moved to
Oklahoma and I had those two arrests and I couldn't reapply
for my schooling. I couldn't find a job.
I had a year and a half of sitting on my thumbs waiting for
court dates and in where there'snothing, no nothing around me.
(07:56):
I was going cab stir crazy. I didn't know what to do.
I wasn't supposed to be smoking weed.
By the end of that year and a half, I was on drugs.
I met this guy right down the road from the house where I
lived, and out here, nobody soldjust weed.
They sold other stuff and maybe weed on the side.
That's how you found it? Yeah.
And so I got with him and it just became a habit.
(08:19):
And then did. You take over your life.
Oh, it took over my life. I had to have it just to wake up
in the mornings. Like I can't, I can't even
explain it. Like I used to have such a
mentality of people who did drugs, even though I did them on
the weekends in New Mexico. You know what I mean?
I thought, quit, how hard can itbe?
I thought, you know, I don't know why I had opinions about
(08:40):
people who got on drugs and couldn't get off of them, but I
was hoping I moved to Oklahoma because I've experienced a lot
of things that I hadn't experienced out there, like
being a daily addict. And it destroyed my life.
It destroyed me. I mean, I've always been really
confident. I used to actually model for
Faces Modeling Agency. I was in some print ads and
(09:02):
they're like mid 90s. I've always been very
personable, outgoing. My friends would go out to the
barn and next to tell my friendslike Lori, where'd Lori go at
least off talking to somebody I just met.
They're like, Lori, stop runningfor mayor.
I'm like. Oh, good talk for me.
And I'm very outgoing and man, Ijust, it's taken me four years.
(09:23):
Like God, I mean, I can't admit how to explain it.
Like I was at my lowest and I can remember being in bed just
crying, wanting to die like and some middle of the night
preacher came on and I don't know how he did it, but he broke
through my thoughts. And by the end of that hour I
was writing things down. It hit my heart that hard.
(09:43):
And at that time weed was just getting going out here.
They, they had just kind of legalized it and my exit thought
that he was going to start a growth.
So he got to grow his license and he brought like 100 plants
and threw them in my field. And he's like, you can take care
of these, right? And I'm like, sure, how hard can
it be? You just water them and it'll be
(10:03):
fine. Oh, I mean, we, I ended up with
about 10 lbs out of 100 plants and it was decent.
It would have been decent. You know what I mean?
Like, I don't think you ever sold any of it.
But so I had weed the whole time.
So I started praying and I remember when the first podcast
I listened to was Joel Osteen, and he was talking about
sometimes you have to reprogram your mind that you get caught up
(10:26):
in the same ways of thinking andyou can't get out of it and get
stuck there. And so I just had this idea I'm
going to buy me some Earpods. And I'm going to every time I
start thinking about whatever 'cause I also have some very bad
anger issues when I was younger,like when I moved to New Mexico,
(10:47):
that I see red. I will fight, I will the guy's
knees out. I will carry a bat.
I call it Evening Odds I. Mean, I can understand,
especially coming from New Mexico where it was like your
entire adolescence was like, yougot to show respect or you got
to be the party girl. And I don't I don't handle this
respect well at all. Yeah, but.
(11:08):
But so, so then pain and I, you know what I mean, All this stuff
and I finally leave that situation and I only took a jar,
one jar of weed with me when I left because it's his, you know
what I mean? It was his weed.
And so then I was fine until that jar of weed ran out.
I'd quit, I'd quit, I was done. But that jar of weed ran out and
Oh my God, the the withdrawals hit me.
(11:31):
I mean, it had been a month but.The withdrawal symptoms withhold
like almost an entire month justfrom cannabis, but then wow.
And then I, I was miserable. All of a sudden I wasn't going
to make it. It was Christmas time and I'll
never forget because I have kidsand my boys were there and I was
just so miserable. I was going back and forth
during Christmas Day, just crying in my room because
(11:53):
there's other family members around me that are still getting
high. And I think just being around
somebody who's high kind of triggers you to want to get
high. You know I.
Didn't see them doing it. Remember the experience.
That they are. You mean I could tell when once
you've been on drugs, you can kind of tell when somebody's And
(12:14):
oh God, it was, it was horrible.And I wasn't going to make.
And I was crying. And then my brother called me
from New Mexico, 'cause I didn'thave a job, I wasn't working.
And he sent me 100 bucks and I went and got a pen 'cause I had
my card. And Derek came back like I can
make it again. Like it was like a weight off my
shoulders. It was like it gave me hope
(12:35):
again. Like all the tensions came back
down immediately, like the cravings came back down and it
didn't matter. I could be around.
I can't say that maybe they could smoke it right in front of
me and I wouldn't. But you know what I mean?
I could be around my people and them not doing it and be OK.
It wasn't devastating me no more.
It wasn't, it wasn't hurting. And that's I started going to
(12:57):
church and my first job I got inthe cannabis industry, I got
from a church lady. Nice.
God is leading me down this path.
You know what I mean? Like he's showing me and I feel,
I really still feel like God showed me, like, look, 'cause if
I hadn't had that, that break from the weed that where I
didn't have no weed, I went to realize how much the weed was
(13:19):
helping with all of that. Do you still find that you get
withdrawals from like still if you were to take a break from
cannabis at all, do you find that that withdrawal symptoms
from however long ago would comeback now?
I don't know, but I don't want to find.
Out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was just more curious if that's been something that
(13:40):
you've that you've noticed or that's ever happened again or if
it's been long enough that you know.
That's like I try to stay stocked up just because just, I
mean, it's not just the withdrawals, it's the coming
back to reality from being high for so long.
I mean, once you come down, you,you have to face reality when,
(14:01):
when you're high, you don't, youjust, it's just kind of
everything just kind of goes right over you.
You know what I mean? Like I used to, I used to in New
Mexico when I was all judgmentalto Megan, I had a reference
about people who did drugs a lotbecause you would see some crazy
people out there, like people standing up asleep.
And Jesus, it's like George Jetson.
I'd say George Jetson. They're like in their own little
(14:23):
bubble, like flying around thinking nobody can see them
just running, but they're drunk.They're running into people and
like, I don't know, like that's how they, I saw them.
And because they don't, they don't think people can see them.
You know what I mean? Or they you don't think that
other people realize that you'rehigh.
Yeah, Yeah. You see that?
(14:43):
And they walk around like nothing.
You know what I mean? You realize what you look like.
Yeah, when they're tweaking out.Yeah, I can imagine.
It's like the fentanyl lean. Have you ever seen that where
I've seen? It like Fat Joe lean back.
No, there was this guy. He was at like a protest in one
of these cities, and he was holding the sign and he was
straight up, like almost folded in half, standing.
(15:05):
What? And he was so high and then all
the sudden like somebody pushed a button, he reanimated and then
he just went back to walking around.
And you see that with with thosewho are really got the sickness.
I mean, they've given it to them.
So I see drug addiction the sameway as like radiation sickness,
(15:28):
it's inflicted by outside sourcethat just deteriorate you
mentally, physically or? Inside the source of trauma or
all these other things that stand from outside sources.
Well, it's just like what you had said because you were like,
yeah, you know, I go around withthe back because, you know,
that's an old, that's my backup plan.
But it, it gives me the sense that because you've had a life
(15:50):
where it's constantly on edge and being high was the only
thing going, I don't have to be on edge because New Mexico
sounds like this absolutely horrid place to bring your kids
up. Because it's just like, yeah,
you ever thought about your kidswanting to be in fights?
You ever thought about them protecting themselves from rape?
You know what I mean? I mean, it, it is there's,
(16:11):
there's every game you can thinkof there, there's, there's
cartel. I mean, you really got to be
careful and watch who you associate with.
Even I thank God, like I moved from Oklahoma.
So I had family. There's my mom's side of the
family actually are some of the first original land grant owners
when from when New Mexico becamea state.
(16:34):
Oh wow. So they're old school Mexican.
Yeah. And so I, it took a year before
we had a family reunion and I actually was able to meet some
of my family. And, you know, we got, I guess
we got both sides there. We got a former state, New
Mexico State senator and we got a few other characters on the
other side, you know? I love how you said it like that
(16:56):
because it shows that even if you're away from it, you still
are. Like I'm not fucking around.
I'm not fucking around. And that and that, you know, for
many people who've grown up in suburbia or small town USA don't
realize that that element is always there.
Everywhere you live, it's there.But some places where almost
(17:20):
like a badge where it's like even the cops are complicit with
a lot of this stuff because it'sjust like, I want to go home.
I want to go home. They really are.
I've I've seen, I'm not even telling you what I've seen.
I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot and in New
Mexico I am probably one of the only people that was able to
hang out with everybody. Like I didn't click with one
(17:43):
click. I knew somebody from every click
and I almost got in trouble oncefor hanging out with one click
and then the other click saw me or whatever.
And then I would go hang out with the other click the next
time and they tried to start something with me, but the
people I knew was too high up tobe messed with.
Like, I mean it, I mean, I, I'vebeen through some stuff.
(18:05):
I mean, I've been, you can accidentally walk into
situations and not see the next day.
And I've been in those situations.
And if I didn't know the people that I knew, I wouldn't be here.
And that's just how it is. And that's, I mean, but not only
did I survive in that culture, Ithrived.
I was doing well. By the time I was my grandma had
(18:26):
a stroke. I had three jobs, but I was
making really good money and I was working on a business plan
to start my own business. I want to start a bed and
breakfast in that little community that I lived in.
And we were going to do stuff. And I had the lady that would
write the grants for our little town.
I mean, it was a great idea. She said when you get ready, you
get all your financials together, come to me and we'll
(18:48):
put this together for a grant and you'll get it.
And that's what I was working onwhen my great grandma had a
stroke and I told her I came outto Oklahoma to see her and she
asked me to come home. Like baby, when you come home,
I'm like grandma, I don't know if I can, but if I can, I will.
By this next summer, I'll eithermove out here or I'll come and
I'll spend the summer with you because I thought there's no way
(19:09):
my ex is going to let me take myson out of state.
You know what I mean? There's no way.
And lo and behold, that was December.
A month later my ex was shot 9 times point blank.
He's a walking talking miracle but he has no eye.
He's in the hospital for a really long time.
It was a home invasion over someold money for some weed.
(19:31):
That's crazy. And he he's missing part of his
head, he's missing his eye, he'smissing his spleen, his colon,
like they shot him up. But he's still alive today.
Yes, he's, I mean, miserable, ofcourse.
Like he's in a lot of pain. He can't very good quality of
life and he got hooked on heroinand then but it kind of gave me
(19:54):
the Optimus he owed like $26,000in back child support.
So I used that in the fact that he was shot and we took it to
court and I signed over my rights to my back child support
if he just gave me the right to leave.
And I So I moved out here and within a year I was facing 2
court cases, 2 felonies and two misdemeanors and couldn't find a
job and couldn't go school. That's hard so.
(20:16):
I mean that drug, but that also led me to Jesus.
It led me because I was raised in Mexican, I was raised
Catholic, but I didn't know God and I probably never would have
had that relationship with him if I hadn't gone to that point.
So tell me about your relationship with your kids when
you like after you moved to Oklahoma and you weren't able to
find a job and you really went downhill, what was your
(20:39):
relationship with your kids likethen?
Me and my kids have always been great.
I mean, I've always been there for them.
I've got three boys. I've got three different baby
daddies because I made my own money in New Mexico.
I didn't care. Get the hell out.
You mean I don't need your money?
I don't need, I don't need you. I thought I was, you know what I
mean? This isn't that hard.
I had these kids. You mean like these kids are
great? Well, until they got a little
(21:00):
bit older that I realized that they kind of did need a male
role model. But we've always been really
close. And it's funny, we talk about it
now because my oldest one, he's always going to be my favorite
because he's never given me any problems, never always been
really smart. You tell him, don't do that, he
wouldn't do it. And he's just really cool.
(21:20):
Get along with my second one, though.
That's when I thought, you know,I mean, this isn't hard at all.
I can do this all day. I don't know what people are
talking about. Raise hell, that kid, as soon as
he could move, he was into stuff, breaking stuff, throwing
stuff. It.
It was hard, man. I'm not going to tell you that
kid, he could toilet within a week.
I couldn't even believe it in the toilet.
And then my last one, he, I babied him too much.
(21:42):
I mean, I've always had a reallygreat relationship with him.
How do you feel like it's changed?
It has because. Yeah, what?
What's changed since then till now that you've?
I've lost some of the respect. I know that I feel that that
last relationship was, was abusive also and it was drugs
and they lost a lot of respect for me and I feel that.
(22:04):
But they've I've earned it back.I feel that now that I've been
sober and I've done what I'm supposed to do, I feel like, and
I've talked a lot with them about the drugs because my
parents never talked to me aboutdrugs.
My mom was the first one to giveit to.
Me. They told me besides, like some
of the people in New Mexico, just stay away from the streets.
(22:25):
Nobody ever schooled me, you know what I mean?
I was just, I felt like I was just thrown into the mix.
And but I started smoking weed at 14 too.
And when I started drinking and I, and it's helped me through
all of it because I mean, it's been, I've seen people shot
right next to me. I've been in gang shootouts
where they shot out the back window and I'm in the back seat.
I've seen a lot of bad stuff, that Breaking Bad stuff, a lot
(22:48):
of people died. I mean, when that stuff, a lot
of people overdosed. I mean, a lot of people think
that that show's cool, but it makes me sad.
I mean, I know it's a past, but there were there were the people
I grew up with. I saw good families go down,
families break up like and just end up.
The kids even end up on drugs. That's hard to see everyone and.
Yeah, I mean, it hit our valley where I lived.
(23:11):
I almost feel like it's one of one of the first places it hit
and it just spread like wildfire.
And I remember the cop in our little town, something had
happened with some kids. And I used to always tell the
kids, they used to always come to my house because I used to be
like, well, if you're drinking and you're on the road and you
feel like you need, you need to stop or something, you come to
my house, I will feed you. I'll give you something to
drink, you guys, and chill out. You know what I mean?
(23:32):
I'd rather you be here than be on the road.
And they've done some stupid stuff.
And I told them I was like, OK, if you guys get caught and I get
pulled into this, you guys are in trouble.
And sure enough, I mean, they left the trail right to my
house, a little destruction thatthey did.
And the cop pulled me out and they were like, he was like, now
(23:53):
I know, you know, what happened.And I was like, no, I don't
know. I was like, they left my house.
What they did after they left myhouse, I have no idea.
They left. And he was like, and then so I
was like, that's where I wrote my police report on 'cause I had
to make a police report. And then he asked me outside.
He's like, just between you and me, you know, what happened?
I was like, of course I know what happened.
I was like, but it's hearsay. I don't know.
(24:14):
I wasn't there, you know what I mean?
That's all I know. And those kids that were good
kids, I think they're all in jail now.
My best friend is in jail for murder right now.
And I've had so many people havedied, like all these good people
that I knew growing up. And yet their whole like when
New Mexico's most wanted was actually arrested at my house.
I was like, he showed up to my house and I was like, what are
(24:36):
you? What are you doing?
And he started telling me and hewas like.
I was like, what? And next thing you know, there's
a knock on my door. And they found him already right
then they spent following him. We were friends and apparently
he had been, apparently he had been camping on the mountain
behind my house for like a week.I didn't know.
I didn't see no campground up there.
I'm like, why didn't you go up there and get him?
Why did you wait to come to? He came to my house because he
(24:58):
was known as a dangerous person and they figured they would be
safer getting him at my house then going up on the trying to
get him. So you'd said earlier that Jesus
said help, Jesus came into your life, but what I want to know
is, has cannabis helped in that way of being able to have a
relationship with the Lord? Because for me it has.
(25:19):
It definitely does. It helps you connect more.
It helps. I think it takes away some of
your. Self judgment.
Yes, yes, to where you could just be speak more, speak more
freely or just think more freelyto where you let go of like your
ideas, I don't know the word like you let go.
Of your ego. Yes, yes, you let go of your ego
(25:42):
and you're just able to put it all out there.
I mean, you can't help like evenjust thinking in your head, you
know what I mean? Because I don't pray out loud.
I don't know who all does, but Ido a lot of praying in my head
when I'm driving. And I hate to say it, but I'm
probably, you know, I mean, you're a little bit high
driving. I'm a little bit high all the
time. You're guilty, serious.
You're a lot more serious when you're not high.
(26:03):
And I feel like you can act better when you're just like not
angry. When you're not so negative,
you're a lot more positive. And I think that helps you with
your connection with your higherpower.
I call it God I I mean, I'm not sure.
So do I? No.
And but all I know is how it happened.
Like that middle of the night preacher was talking to me and I
(26:24):
was writing stuff down and it just led me on a path to where I
finally left that situation. And it took a year of praying
and smoking weed and I just, butthe effect that the weed had,
you know what I mean? Until that month that I didn't
have it. I, I mean, I thought it was, you
know what I mean? Just God pulling me out of here.
And it was God, you know what I mean?
(26:46):
And but he was showing me thingsand that last month, I mean, I
was praying and I wasn't hearingfrom God.
I didn't think, you know, like Ifelt like I could hear from God
when I would smoke and I just felt that connection.
And then when I didn't have the weed, I was praying and crying
and praying and crying and I wasn't having that connection.
And then my brother sent me thatpen and like it was like the
(27:07):
hope came back. The you know your prayers
change. Your prayers are more hopeful
than my prayers were before. Yeah, kind of in this way where
you're you're only asking for help.
Just just save me. Save me.
But then when you when you have cannabis in your system, you're
just like, I did this to myself.Yeah, you see a lot.
(27:29):
You reflect a. Lot more.
Yeah, give me strength, you ask?You know, don't say strength.
It changes from that to that. You mean like, yeah, I mean you
can do it on your own. You just want strength and the
wisdom and. Yeah, because it's not.
It never is taken away. It doesn't go, hey, take this
away. It never just disappears, but it
can be, hey, help me walk through this because shit, this
(27:52):
is fucking tough. I don't know how I'm going to
get through it. And thanks, may be a little bit
easier now. Exactly that little bit of
faith, maybe. Yeah, totally had.
Before I mean. And faith today is brought to
you by grapes and cream. Yeah.
The grapes and cream, yeah. Today's mood is sponsored by
Weed. No, but it's exactly that
(28:14):
because then you're able to do certain things like I find it,
you know, where I've, I've talked to a lot of different
Christians and, and, or ex Christians or ex Mormons or
whatever religion they are. They're like I used to be in
religion, but it's all a sham. And, and I agree to some extent,
extent it is a sham because it's, it's a, it's a shakedown.
(28:34):
But at the other part, it's whenyou can slow down and realize
that you're important, that you matter, that your thoughts are
valid, that they are important for the world.
And then you get this crazy thing starts happening with
cannabis in your system. You start loving other people
openly and you let them know. Yes.
(28:58):
Right. Your whole demeanor is softer.
Your whole demeanor is friendlier.
But you can follow the greatest commandment that God has given
us right to love each other. Yes, and you cannot say people
do not. You know, that's what I tell
people. Cannabis people are the most
friendly people ever. They're the happiest.
You know, we hate starting wars.We are neighbors.
(29:20):
We're not, you know, doing a lotof things that society is, you
know, kind of marked us for it being the gateway drug.
All the stuff like stoners, all this stuff, you know, it's all a
lie. It's been a lie for a really
long time. And we've just grown up with it,
thinking that it is because somebody told us that it's bad
for us. Yeah, so many of us are sheeple.
(29:43):
I've quit so many churches like you have no idea if a church is
against cannabis I won't go. I mean this is a plan my God,
how can you not before it that heals?
Yeah, there's just a lot of fear.
You would say it's a miracle drug.
You know what I mean? Like this is God's, one of God's
miracles. But no, you'd rather take your
prescription pills. All right, I'm good.
(30:05):
It says that you're supposed to,you know, with like minded
people and that's not like minded to me.
Right. You know, so I finally found a
church that isn't against it. Good for you, good for you, but.
It's not against it. I'm trying to change your.
Well, you know, it, it honestly,it does.
I mean, it's going to be from your demeanor and it's going to
(30:26):
be how you interact. And and that's why I tell a lot
of people they're just like, why, why would you even consider
even now, like I have people around me in my in my small
Christian community where they'll be just like, you know,
I still don't understand why youcould use it.
But these are the younger people.
This is The funny thing is that they're the ones that have it's
because it's perpetuated down because our generation we're
(30:48):
around the same age and our generation used was brought up
all in that anti culture. We're still the ones who are a
little nervous when we're smoking out like on the street
with a joint going, Oh, we couldget in trouble and you're like
nobody, nobody cares. Nobody cares.
I had a temper issue not that long ago and I'm really mad and
(31:08):
when I get really mad sometimes I don't calm down right away.
Sounds like you need indica more.
Yes, I I, you know I slow. Have you tried edibles?
Not edibles fuck me up. I'm too little.
Like I'm small and always. Oh, it's always dose, Always
dose or tinctures if 'cause you can I do.
Do tinctures. I do tinctures all the.
(31:30):
Time, I'm like those are great 'cause you can start at a lower
dose. Sometimes edibles where it's
like out 10 or 20 milligrams, that's still way too like high
of a milligram for what you're looking for, so.
I think I just get too impatientand like it's not hitting me and
I'll try to eat a little bit more.
Yeah, that's definitely the problem.
Yeah, I just, I mean, I don't like it.
(31:51):
I had to wait too long for the. High struggle's real, Yeah, it
has to be a planned ahead of time.
Not like, oh, I need it now. It's like I'll puff and then
I'll take this little edible andmaybe just puff on a pen and
then, you know, the edible mightkick in in a bit and then it'll
be good. But at least you'll navigate I.
Don't have that discipline. Like I can't even like I can't
(32:12):
even carry joints around with me.
I carry a pan just because if I have a joint I want to smoke it
all. Done.
Oh yeah? Well, I don't like to smoke half
a joint. Take a hat.
Yeah, but if I can't do that, I got to go to work, you know what
I mean? There's stuff I got to do.
Like there's expensive guys. Find you guys about the
expensive I worked at the last dispensary I worked at.
(32:35):
It is Oh you might want to edit this out, but it is crooked here
in Oklahoma. The whole steam is crooked.
Yeah. Yeah, but I was working at this
dispensary and you're not supposed to like, you know, you
can't sell weed that found in the system.
Well, they were always messing up their orders that they bring
in because it was like a grow that had a dispensary.
But we were just. Selling their weed there.
(32:56):
And so I was always trying to sell some stuff that wasn't in
the system or whatever. And then I found out right next
door to me and the city attorney, and then on the other
side of me was the county commissioner.
Wow. I was like, I don't think I
could sell sit here. They treat these new people and
sell, you know, weed like this like and they never cleaned it
(33:17):
up. I finally quit like I I.
Yeah, we we had. I was too nervous even though, I
mean, they never came in the store.
It was just like I was sitting between two cops selling legal
weed. That's no good, especially when
it's legal. Especially if they're doing
things, that's great. Skate and Gray area.
Wow, Gray areas. Thank you.
Grapes and cream. You know, I there's there's
(33:42):
places out here like I was working at this grow in Ada and
I don't see these signs going down the highway and say huge
sale, huge sale. I thought, one day I'm going to
stop by there and check out thishuge sale.
I thought yard sale. I'm not sure what I thought.
So finally I did stop and you pull into this house and you
drive past the house to like where they have maybe used to be
(34:03):
a garage that they converted in the back to a little store.
And it said flea market. I'm like, OK, so then I go in
and when I first walk in there, there's nobody in there.
And I'm just kind of like around.
But as soon as you walk in, there's a little display right
there with some weed pipes. And so I'm like, OK, and then
this old man walks in. This old man.
(34:25):
And I'm like, OK, so I start looking around other stuff,
whatever. And I grabbed a few themes and I
walk up to the register. I was like, yeah, can I get one
of those wheat pipes? And he's like, oh, yeah.
He's like, it seems like everybody smokes weed these
days. And I'm like, yeah, I just
worked right down the road. And he's like, yeah.
He's like, well, I grew up a little bit of my own, you know,
I'm like, oh, yeah, He's like, yeah.
(34:46):
He's like, I just made some cake, a strawberry cake.
And I was like, oh, yeah, He's like, yeah.
He's like, you want a piece? I was like, heck yeah.
And so then he went and got me apiece of cake.
And this was a great cake. You can even taste the weed in
it. And he's on.
Well, I sell a little bit of weed, too.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Well, like in the quarter. That was the best little stop of
my life like that. I mean, some security cameras.
(35:10):
I got me some cake. That's hilarious.
Oh my gosh. Surprised.
Yeah. I'm telling you, I would have
stopped a lot sooner. Yeah, if you go.
And get that recipe. Yeah, you make me.
I'm thinking about it right now.I'm like, I'm thinking about.
I would add a little lemon zest to that cake with strawberries.
So you got the salt, the the sour, and the.
(35:32):
Sweet Limoncello 10, I'm fusing that.
Oh, there was there was a restaurant out here that I had
traded. I was doing marketing and I got
free food all the time. They had this limoncello cake
and. Oh my gosh.
It was so good. It was, it was fantastic.
And then we had the Limoncello arts.
Yeah. Dude, not that that was.
(35:53):
Fun when I first moved out here,you know, when I first moved out
here. That's funny that that Robert,
because it's been backwards likethat since I moved out here
because, you know, Oklahoma is in the Bible belt, what they
call the Bible belt, they call it God's country.
Like they didn't even I rememberasking somebody when I first
moved out here, I was like, whatdoes that even mean?
Like and they're like, you get porn.
I'm like, what is double porn? You're like, what?
(36:16):
What even is that? And then but they had built back
with things like you could go toand buy a head shop and but
behind the head shop there was like an adult store.
Like you just had to walk. Through the curtain like it's
not advertised. Anything goes like some.
Vaporizers. Yeah, by the way, we've got some
(36:37):
double headed dildos and. That's around the corner, Yeah.
We've got just waved to the camera.
We've got nitrates, we've got everything you want, right?
We've got. Hers I didn't.
Know, but no, they don't tell you.
You just I just happened to lookbehind the curtain like.
I'm like. What's going on back here?
Adult amusement. Park.
Yeah, No, I'm telling. You.
That's the real reason why Utah created the Zion curtains.
(37:00):
We've got something to not. As much anymore it's it's coming
down yeah so so take us to whereyou are now like how is life now
with with cannabis? What are you doing now What are
your aspirations? What are you what are you aiming
to do? Cuz you're in the you're in a
completely different stage in your life, clearer than you've
(37:22):
been before. I'm just trying.
I want to help people. That's what I want to do.
I mean, I tried. I was in the industry.
I worked at four or five different pros.
So what does that look like for you?
Helping people. I want to help people however I
can. I'm doing home health right now
cool I I do feel like God put meon the cat.
(37:42):
The path to cannabis and recovery.
But in the, for me working in the like, I learned about
cannabis and how it worked with the body.
I've taken Doctor Regina Nelson's Canadian classes and
Canadian trainer classes and they are great.
I definitely recommend them to anybody.
I don't, I can see that first class of her being cannabis
one-on-one. Everybody should know, you know
(38:03):
what I mean? A lot of the education isn't
being taught to the patients outhere, you know.
And so how much good is it doing?
We're just calling it medicinal.I would like to take some change
in that, but I just like helpingpeople.
Right now I'm doing home health and I'm actually at my one of my
clients house right now, Jonathan.
He has Down syndrome and I become a part of this family.
(38:26):
So I'm not sure what it looks like for me.
I just like to help people. I want, I want to say what's up
to Chad Tyson? He actually gave me my first job
in the dispensary. That really helped my confidence
and it was a really boost because I wasn't sure.
I don't know, he does. I walked in and he gave me the
job. Coming from an abusive
relationship, coming off the drugs, that really meant a lot.
(38:47):
I mean, that job didn't end well, but that's another story.
But you know, it had nothing to do with Chad.
Just give back to, you know, people has helped me.
This family here has helped me. I just want to give back and I
want to help people. I would love to advocate.
I would love to help the whole country.
I mean, I think cannabis can help a lot of people recover and
(39:08):
I would like to be a part of that.
But I still small town nowhere Oklahoma girl, you know, I mean,
I don't even like being on a podcast.
I was so nervous. I was.
Like. No, I recovery meeting on Zoom
without even looking at myself. I didn't even put on makeup.
I was all sweaty. I saw myself on that thing and I
(39:28):
instantly got nervous. I wish wishing I wasn't there.
I was like, Oh my God, this is what I look like.
It's OK, we are. On the show all the time.
And. We talk all the time we talk to
people all the time and yet we jumped on a state born meeting
for the Utah State cannabis thing and I stammered through my
(39:50):
entire sentence as I tried to speak and I'm like, this was the
most embarrassing thing yet I dothis all the time.
I don't know what was wrong justdid.
My heart was pitting racing. Oh my gosh, it's live and I was
like, wait, they know nothing about cannabis.
I know more than any of them, said he called.
That this is ridiculous that I'mnervous to have this
(40:10):
conversation here. And then I was totally.
Fine, yeah, but. His my phone.
Cut. I was all drunk.
Yeah. Somebody was calling me and I
was trying to get him off and then all of a sudden it just
disconnect me like right in the middle of his.
Statement thing and what? Yeah, I know.
I I get it. And that's the thing that, you
know, what we do, why we createdthis show and why we added the
(40:33):
sesh, which is what you're on. It's Cannabis School is here to
be able to be that open portal for people to understand the
impact that cannabis can actually have on your life.
And you know, where people are like, Oh, well, you're using it
as a crutch, OK. I mean, if that's going to keep
me propped up a little bit longer, fine.
(40:54):
What is the methadone? Clinic what is all of these
other things that they're using to navigate their addiction or
their struggles within that life?
Like it's just one thing for another and one might have less
side effects, less long term side effects, but it's it's like
things like. Kratom too or Kratom, you know,
(41:14):
people will get off heroin or onXanax or whatever and they'll
take Kratom and then they get addicted and they go Kratom's
harder to get off then then the Xanax was Kratom's harder to get
off than the heroin because it'sso like it, it just takes a hold
of people. And so even with the natural
thing around everything like, oh, it's natural, it's good for
(41:36):
you, no worries. But I with cannabis, because
there's so many different types of strains and what it can do
for your body and at what times and what you're taking it for.
And if there's intent, like withhow you practice, how we
practice it, it takes on a wholenew thing where it's like people
go, yeah, I could go a day without cannabis, but why would
(41:58):
I? Like, it's like for people who
really get a difference, like I could stop taking my
multivitamins, but it helps me. I feel I'm like, why would I
stop? Everybody.
Needs to everybody. Needs to understand that a low
dose like I'm, I guess I'm not sure you're allergic to it, but
a low dose therapeutic throughout the day isn't going
to get you high. Yeah, and it's going for.
(42:19):
Body to balance. You're not even.
Going to feel it, which I mean, it's going to.
Be helping. Your body, you know, I mean,
you're going to feel better. Yeah.
Take out. Attention some of that anxiety
dose one-on-one, you know. Exactly like we're talking about
treating medical conditions. Why don't?
I'm sure it can help prevent them if you just want your body
to balance before you know what I mean?
(42:39):
Well, like every medication. When you go to your doctor, they
give you that prescribed method to follow.
And the problem is, is that withmost cannabis, people don't have
that prescribed method to follow.
So it's not like, hey, take thismilligram, this micro dose at
this time, if you feel this or you're feeling this way, take
this milligram of maybe this terpene and cannabinoid.
(43:00):
We've got this micro dose and it's in this form.
Do this and then at this time dothis one.
Like we don't have that built out for most people going.
You're feeling anxious or you struggle with this, or maybe
you've got this disease or this disorder.
We'll use these terpenes in cannabinoids at this routinely
thing just like any other doctorwould prescribe going.
This is what's worked for a lot of people and maybe it doesn't
(43:22):
work for you just like any otherMed.
Well, everybody, I'm sorry, Doctor.
Everybody's body is. Different and it's everybody's
body's different. So what it works for me is
probably not going to work for you unless we have the exact
same body, you know, I mean, it's just makes sense.
It's like meds. How many meds?
It's like you and the doctor, well this one gave me these side
effects. Well let's try this other one.
It's because it's not a one-size-fits-all.
(43:43):
And that's the same thing with cannabis.
You know, real quick, my phone is going to.
Die. No.
No worries. You're good.
I'm sorry. No.
Well, hey, we really. Appreciate you being able to
come on the show, Share your story.
This is really important for ouraudience.
There's a lot of people out there just like you.
So for those who are listening in there, thank you for having
me. Thank you so much for having me
for the opportunity. Thanks for joining and.
(44:06):
For everyone at home, we love you guys.
Catch you next week. Take care.
I'm Brandon. And I'm.
Jesse we're cannabis school having cannabis infused
conversations with everyday people, cannabis companies,
celebrities and your mom. Welcome to the Sash.
Well, I get the sense that you're a little nervous.
I am nervous. I I don't, I don't usually.
I don't even do social media really.
(00:25):
I'm in nowhere, Oklahoma, where I have cows as my neighbors.
I drive down dirt roads like. Now you're just making me
jealous. That sounds fantastic.
You know, I've, I've been out ofthe mainstream, I guess since I
moved from New Mexico. Like it's just a different world
out here. It's like in the past.
It really is. Everybody moves a lot slower.
(00:46):
I have to learn how to talk slower.
How long have you been out in Oklahoma?
I've been out here 14 years. Oh wow, now.
So what brought you out there? Actually 45 S my great grandma
had a stroke. And was that, and this was a
good thing, though it was a blessing in disguise, was it
not? Well, well, it was, I mean.
In some ways. But at first it wasn't.
(01:08):
I mean, I I'll always be grateful that I was here for my
grandma, but man, I couldn't find a job when I first moved
out here. I wasn't ready for the culture,
the shock of it all. What was the biggest shock and
shift? The nothingness, the just.
There's nothing around, yeah. Nothing around.
It's all flat. I mean, there's three major
industries. It's oil, healthcare and
(01:29):
farming. And I do nothing for those, you
know what I mean? And then I guess small town
politics like small towns and they kind of do their own
things. And man, I'm going to be, I'm
actually going up against a couple counties right now
because it's corrupt. It's corrupt.
It really is like I got arrestedtwice when I about a year after
(01:51):
I moved out here and. Both.
Cops on both police reports liedlied the 1st police report half
the police report was a lie and the other the other one.
I was in a bad accident and I got a DUI and they found a weed
pipe in my car and I woke up in the hospital with the concussion
all kinds of stuff. And I refused the test and I
(02:12):
went straight to jail for DUI and the but the cop didn't put
on the police report that he came in contact with me in the
hospital. He just said well when I came in
contact with her, she was slurring her words.
It seemed incoherent. And he said failed of burnt
marijuana and I hadn't smoked inat least two weeks.
So there was like, no way. I mean, he didn't put I yeah, I
(02:33):
was incoherent. I just come to in the hospital.
Like, I mean, that that was a shock.
That's what put me on my path toaddiction.
Like I was in the Breaking Bad days in New Mexico.
And it was crazy when I watched the series, like all the things
that you hear back then, you know, you never know what's
true, you know, I mean, when youhear things.
But a lot of what I was hearing was true, I guess because I
(02:53):
really, I didn't make all the connections until I watched the
series and. What was the biggest connection
for you? I guess the scientist guy, I
mean, he was a scientist how I heard it when I first heard of
that stuff coming out, it was a guy from Los Alamos Labs that
was making it. He's from Rio Rancho.
And then the gas station that they showed the where Jesse
(03:15):
broke down or he didn't have gas.
That gas station was 15 minutes from my house, filmed it there.
And yeah, those red rocks, I mean, I know where a lot of
those places were, and that was right in my backyard.
Sounds like you were in the heart of all of that then.
As I lived in Hemis, the Hemis mountains, which is in between
Albuquerque and Los Alamos. Los Alamos is a laboratory town.
(03:40):
That's where they made the the atomic bomb.
You have to have A to get in. You have to stop at a checkpoint
just to get into the town. The whole town and still that
way. Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
It got a lot worse after 911, and it's still that way.
And I used to work in Los Alamos, though 'cause I lived in
Hemis, I could either go to Los Alamos and work and drive over a
(04:01):
mountain and go to Los Alamos and work, or I could go into
Albuquerque and work. And I went to UNMLA for a long
time to have a college there. And I worked in Los Alamos for a
long time, or Albuquerque. But yeah, I was working in Los
Alamos when the break, I guess when all that, when I heard
about the guy that had the pure stuff that was like brewish,
(04:22):
whatever, you're the scientist. And the first stuff that I got
that was supposed to be from that guy, I actually ruined
because I was so scared of it. I mean, they, they were like
this. You got to be careful with this.
They were really warning me about it, and so I didn't know
better. Like I wasn't really in the drug
scene out there. I wasn't allowed by some of the
(04:42):
people that I knew. They just wanted to keep me off
the streets. I guess They were just like,
Lori don't have to go over there, and they had places that
they didn't want me to go. But what?
Got you to go there the first time.
You go there was the first person who ever actually gave me
drugs was actually my mom. Take a see that.
I don't think they really knew the first time actually.
(05:03):
Actually the first first time, Iwas 19 and I guess they put
some, my mom put something in mydrink.
I was going to college at UNMLA and I was working and I was a
functioning alcoholic at the time.
And when I moved to New Mexico from Oklahoma when I was
younger, like 13 or 14, I was bullied really hard.
It was a hard moving to New Mexico.
I got 12 fights. I was raped.
(05:26):
I mean, you just had to, you hadto earn your respect.
And the only way to do that was fighting.
And I'd never been in a fight before my life.
But by the time I was a senior, I was functioning an alcoholic
and I was popular. I mean, I was a head
cheerleader. I was still in council.
I'd earned my respect. I mean, but I was fucking
alcoholic. I graduated with decent grades,
(05:47):
but I was probably drunk 85% of the time.
And then through my college years, I drank.
And then after I got out of college, I got pregnant with my
my first son and I quit drinkingand I had my son and then I was
just working a lot and like here, just put a little bit this
in your drink. And OK, so every now and then
(06:07):
when I was like really tired, I'm like mom and she would put a
little bit my drink. And but then I left my ex, like
me, my, my first son's dad brokeup at the time and I went back
to work in Los Alamos and I started leaving my son with my
ex every other weekend. And I'd go out and party with my
friends or whoever, you know, I'd known and it was just round
(06:30):
in the streets. It was just like the party drug
that people did just like stay awake, you know what I mean?
And so I mean, I, I started doing it on the weekends, every
other weekend or whatever. And people would come by my
house because I lived in Hemis and I had connections to people.
It's New Mexico. I mean, I, I met a lot of
people, you know, I don't want to be with the cops, you know, I
(06:52):
mean that what is it, snitches. Get stitches, Yeah.
Yeah, they end up in ditches in New Mexico.
Oh yeah. That that is serious.
Like, I can't even tell you how serious that is.
Oh yeah. You don't want your name and
paperwork, You don't want any. You don't want to be caught cock
talking to the cops. Period.
Oh no. Oh, no, that's right.
(07:13):
Like, I mean, it's, it's a levelout there.
It's it's a different, I mean, it's nice to visit, but to live
there you have to walk a line a respect.
I mean you could just be go downthe wrong St. and see the wrong
thing and you may never come back out of it.
So when did when did the weekends start turning into more
than the weekends? Dad didn't actually start till I
(07:35):
moved to Oklahoma. Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I mean, I lived through all that, but I moved to
Oklahoma and I had those two arrests and I couldn't reapply
for my schooling. I couldn't find a job.
I had a year and a half of sitting on my thumbs waiting for
court dates and in where there'snothing, no nothing around me.
(07:56):
I was going cab stir crazy. I didn't know what to do.
I wasn't supposed to be smoking weed.
By the end of that year and a half, I was on drugs.
I met this guy right down the road from the house where I
lived, and out here, nobody soldjust weed.
They sold other stuff and maybe weed on the side.
That's how you found it? Yeah.
And so I got with him and it just became a habit.
(08:19):
And then did. You take over your life.
Oh, it took over my life. I had to have it just to wake up
in the mornings. Like I can't, I can't even
explain it. Like I used to have such a
mentality of people who did drugs, even though I did them on
the weekends in New Mexico. You know what I mean?
I thought, quit, how hard can itbe?
I thought, you know, I don't know why I had opinions about
(08:40):
people who got on drugs and couldn't get off of them, but I
was hoping I moved to Oklahoma because I've experienced a lot
of things that I hadn't experienced out there, like
being a daily addict. And it destroyed my life.
It destroyed me. I mean, I've always been really
confident. I used to actually model for
Faces Modeling Agency. I was in some print ads and
(09:02):
they're like mid 90s. I've always been very
personable, outgoing. My friends would go out to the
barn and next to tell my friendslike Lori, where'd Lori go at
least off talking to somebody I just met.
They're like, Lori, stop runningfor mayor.
I'm like. Oh, good talk for me.
And I'm very outgoing and man, Ijust, it's taken me four years.
(09:23):
Like God, I mean, I can't admit how to explain it.
Like I was at my lowest and I can remember being in bed just
crying, wanting to die like and some middle of the night
preacher came on and I don't know how he did it, but he broke
through my thoughts. And by the end of that hour I
was writing things down. It hit my heart that hard.
(09:43):
And at that time weed was just getting going out here.
They, they had just kind of legalized it and my exit thought
that he was going to start a growth.
So he got to grow his license and he brought like 100 plants
and threw them in my field. And he's like, you can take care
of these, right? And I'm like, sure, how hard can
it be? You just water them and it'll be
(10:03):
fine. Oh, I mean, we, I ended up with
about 10 lbs out of 100 plants and it was decent.
It would have been decent. You know what I mean?
Like, I don't think you ever sold any of it.
But so I had weed the whole time.
So I started praying and I remember when the first podcast
I listened to was Joel Osteen, and he was talking about
sometimes you have to reprogram your mind that you get caught up
(10:26):
in the same ways of thinking andyou can't get out of it and get
stuck there. And so I just had this idea I'm
going to buy me some Earpods. And I'm going to every time I
start thinking about whatever 'cause I also have some very bad
anger issues when I was younger,like when I moved to New Mexico,
(10:47):
that I see red. I will fight, I will the guy's
knees out. I will carry a bat.
I call it Evening Odds I. Mean, I can understand,
especially coming from New Mexico where it was like your
entire adolescence was like, yougot to show respect or you got
to be the party girl. And I don't I don't handle this
respect well at all. Yeah, but.
(11:08):
But so, so then pain and I, you know what I mean, All this stuff
and I finally leave that situation and I only took a jar,
one jar of weed with me when I left because it's his, you know
what I mean? It was his weed.
And so then I was fine until that jar of weed ran out.
I'd quit, I'd quit, I was done. But that jar of weed ran out and
Oh my God, the the withdrawals hit me.
(11:31):
I mean, it had been a month but.The withdrawal symptoms withhold
like almost an entire month justfrom cannabis, but then wow.
And then I, I was miserable. All of a sudden I wasn't going
to make it. It was Christmas time and I'll
never forget because I have kidsand my boys were there and I was
just so miserable. I was going back and forth
during Christmas Day, just crying in my room because
(11:53):
there's other family members around me that are still getting
high. And I think just being around
somebody who's high kind of triggers you to want to get
high. You know I.
Didn't see them doing it. Remember the experience.
That they are. You mean I could tell when once
you've been on drugs, you can kind of tell when somebody's And
(12:14):
oh God, it was, it was horrible.And I wasn't going to make.
And I was crying. And then my brother called me
from New Mexico, 'cause I didn'thave a job, I wasn't working.
And he sent me 100 bucks and I went and got a pen 'cause I had
my card. And Derek came back like I can
make it again. Like it was like a weight off my
shoulders. It was like it gave me hope
(12:35):
again. Like all the tensions came back
down immediately, like the cravings came back down and it
didn't matter. I could be around.
I can't say that maybe they could smoke it right in front of
me and I wouldn't. But you know what I mean?
I could be around my people and them not doing it and be OK.
It wasn't devastating me no more.
It wasn't, it wasn't hurting. And that's I started going to
(12:57):
church and my first job I got inthe cannabis industry, I got
from a church lady. Nice.
God is leading me down this path.
You know what I mean? Like he's showing me and I feel,
I really still feel like God showed me, like, look, 'cause if
I hadn't had that, that break from the weed that where I
didn't have no weed, I went to realize how much the weed was
(13:19):
helping with all of that. Do you still find that you get
withdrawals from like still if you were to take a break from
cannabis at all, do you find that that withdrawal symptoms
from however long ago would comeback now?
I don't know, but I don't want to find.
Out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was just more curious if that's been something that
(13:40):
you've that you've noticed or that's ever happened again or if
it's been long enough that you know.
That's like I try to stay stocked up just because just, I
mean, it's not just the withdrawals, it's the coming
back to reality from being high for so long.
I mean, once you come down, you,you have to face reality when,
(14:01):
when you're high, you don't, youjust, it's just kind of
everything just kind of goes right over you.
You know what I mean? Like I used to, I used to in New
Mexico when I was all judgmentalto Megan, I had a reference
about people who did drugs a lotbecause you would see some crazy
people out there, like people standing up asleep.
And Jesus, it's like George Jetson.
I'd say George Jetson. They're like in their own little
(14:23):
bubble, like flying around thinking nobody can see them
just running, but they're drunk.They're running into people and
like, I don't know, like that's how they, I saw them.
And because they don't, they don't think people can see them.
You know what I mean? Or they you don't think that
other people realize that you'rehigh.
Yeah, Yeah. You see that?
(14:43):
And they walk around like nothing.
You know what I mean? You realize what you look like.
Yeah, when they're tweaking out.Yeah, I can imagine.
It's like the fentanyl lean. Have you ever seen that where
I've seen? It like Fat Joe lean back.
No, there was this guy. He was at like a protest in one
of these cities, and he was holding the sign and he was
straight up, like almost folded in half, standing.
(15:05):
What? And he was so high and then all
the sudden like somebody pushed a button, he reanimated and then
he just went back to walking around.
And you see that with with thosewho are really got the sickness.
I mean, they've given it to them.
So I see drug addiction the sameway as like radiation sickness,
(15:28):
it's inflicted by outside sourcethat just deteriorate you
mentally, physically or? Inside the source of trauma or
all these other things that stand from outside sources.
Well, it's just like what you had said because you were like,
yeah, you know, I go around withthe back because, you know,
that's an old, that's my backup plan.
But it, it gives me the sense that because you've had a life
(15:50):
where it's constantly on edge and being high was the only
thing going, I don't have to be on edge because New Mexico
sounds like this absolutely horrid place to bring your kids
up. Because it's just like, yeah,
you ever thought about your kidswanting to be in fights?
You ever thought about them protecting themselves from rape?
You know what I mean? I mean, it, it is there's,
(16:11):
there's every game you can thinkof there, there's, there's
cartel. I mean, you really got to be
careful and watch who you associate with.
Even I thank God, like I moved from Oklahoma.
So I had family. There's my mom's side of the
family actually are some of the first original land grant owners
when from when New Mexico becamea state.
(16:34):
Oh wow. So they're old school Mexican.
Yeah. And so I, it took a year before
we had a family reunion and I actually was able to meet some
of my family. And, you know, we got, I guess
we got both sides there. We got a former state, New
Mexico State senator and we got a few other characters on the
other side, you know? I love how you said it like that
(16:56):
because it shows that even if you're away from it, you still
are. Like I'm not fucking around.
I'm not fucking around. And that and that, you know, for
many people who've grown up in suburbia or small town USA don't
realize that that element is always there.
Everywhere you live, it's there.But some places where almost
(17:20):
like a badge where it's like even the cops are complicit with
a lot of this stuff because it'sjust like, I want to go home.
I want to go home. They really are.
I've I've seen, I'm not even telling you what I've seen.
I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot and in New
Mexico I am probably one of the only people that was able to
hang out with everybody. Like I didn't click with one
(17:43):
click. I knew somebody from every click
and I almost got in trouble oncefor hanging out with one click
and then the other click saw me or whatever.
And then I would go hang out with the other click the next
time and they tried to start something with me, but the
people I knew was too high up tobe messed with.
Like, I mean it, I mean, I, I'vebeen through some stuff.
(18:05):
I mean, I've been, you can accidentally walk into
situations and not see the next day.
And I've been in those situations.
And if I didn't know the people that I knew, I wouldn't be here.
And that's just how it is. And that's, I mean, but not only
did I survive in that culture, Ithrived.
I was doing well. By the time I was my grandma had
(18:26):
a stroke. I had three jobs, but I was
making really good money and I was working on a business plan
to start my own business. I want to start a bed and
breakfast in that little community that I lived in.
And we were going to do stuff. And I had the lady that would
write the grants for our little town.
I mean, it was a great idea. She said when you get ready, you
get all your financials together, come to me and we'll
(18:48):
put this together for a grant and you'll get it.
And that's what I was working onwhen my great grandma had a
stroke and I told her I came outto Oklahoma to see her and she
asked me to come home. Like baby, when you come home,
I'm like grandma, I don't know if I can, but if I can, I will.
By this next summer, I'll eithermove out here or I'll come and
I'll spend the summer with you because I thought there's no way
(19:09):
my ex is going to let me take myson out of state.
You know what I mean? There's no way.
And lo and behold, that was December.
A month later my ex was shot 9 times point blank.
He's a walking talking miracle but he has no eye.
He's in the hospital for a really long time.
It was a home invasion over someold money for some weed.
(19:31):
That's crazy. And he he's missing part of his
head, he's missing his eye, he'smissing his spleen, his colon,
like they shot him up. But he's still alive today.
Yes, he's, I mean, miserable, ofcourse.
Like he's in a lot of pain. He can't very good quality of
life and he got hooked on heroinand then but it kind of gave me
(19:54):
the Optimus he owed like $26,000in back child support.
So I used that in the fact that he was shot and we took it to
court and I signed over my rights to my back child support
if he just gave me the right to leave.
And I So I moved out here and within a year I was facing 2
court cases, 2 felonies and two misdemeanors and couldn't find a
job and couldn't go school. That's hard so.
(20:16):
I mean that drug, but that also led me to Jesus.
It led me because I was raised in Mexican, I was raised
Catholic, but I didn't know God and I probably never would have
had that relationship with him if I hadn't gone to that point.
So tell me about your relationship with your kids when
you like after you moved to Oklahoma and you weren't able to
find a job and you really went downhill, what was your
(20:39):
relationship with your kids likethen?
Me and my kids have always been great.
I mean, I've always been there for them.
I've got three boys. I've got three different baby
daddies because I made my own money in New Mexico.
I didn't care. Get the hell out.
You mean I don't need your money?
I don't need, I don't need you. I thought I was, you know what I
mean? This isn't that hard.
I had these kids. You mean like these kids are
great? Well, until they got a little
(21:00):
bit older that I realized that they kind of did need a male
role model. But we've always been really
close. And it's funny, we talk about it
now because my oldest one, he's always going to be my favorite
because he's never given me any problems, never always been
really smart. You tell him, don't do that, he
wouldn't do it. And he's just really cool.
(21:20):
Get along with my second one, though.
That's when I thought, you know,I mean, this isn't hard at all.
I can do this all day. I don't know what people are
talking about. Raise hell, that kid, as soon as
he could move, he was into stuff, breaking stuff, throwing
stuff. It.
It was hard, man. I'm not going to tell you that
kid, he could toilet within a week.
I couldn't even believe it in the toilet.
And then my last one, he, I babied him too much.
(21:42):
I mean, I've always had a reallygreat relationship with him.
How do you feel like it's changed?
It has because. Yeah, what?
What's changed since then till now that you've?
I've lost some of the respect. I know that I feel that that
last relationship was, was abusive also and it was drugs
and they lost a lot of respect for me and I feel that.
(22:04):
But they've I've earned it back.I feel that now that I've been
sober and I've done what I'm supposed to do, I feel like, and
I've talked a lot with them about the drugs because my
parents never talked to me aboutdrugs.
My mom was the first one to giveit to.
Me. They told me besides, like some
of the people in New Mexico, just stay away from the streets.
(22:25):
Nobody ever schooled me, you know what I mean?
I was just, I felt like I was just thrown into the mix.
And but I started smoking weed at 14 too.
And when I started drinking and I, and it's helped me through
all of it because I mean, it's been, I've seen people shot
right next to me. I've been in gang shootouts
where they shot out the back window and I'm in the back seat.
I've seen a lot of bad stuff, that Breaking Bad stuff, a lot
(22:48):
of people died. I mean, when that stuff, a lot
of people overdosed. I mean, a lot of people think
that that show's cool, but it makes me sad.
I mean, I know it's a past, but there were there were the people
I grew up with. I saw good families go down,
families break up like and just end up.
The kids even end up on drugs. That's hard to see everyone and.
Yeah, I mean, it hit our valley where I lived.
(23:11):
I almost feel like it's one of one of the first places it hit
and it just spread like wildfire.
And I remember the cop in our little town, something had
happened with some kids. And I used to always tell the
kids, they used to always come to my house because I used to be
like, well, if you're drinking and you're on the road and you
feel like you need, you need to stop or something, you come to
my house, I will feed you. I'll give you something to
drink, you guys, and chill out. You know what I mean?
(23:32):
I'd rather you be here than be on the road.
And they've done some stupid stuff.
And I told them I was like, OK, if you guys get caught and I get
pulled into this, you guys are in trouble.
And sure enough, I mean, they left the trail right to my
house, a little destruction thatthey did.
And the cop pulled me out and they were like, he was like, now
(23:53):
I know, you know, what happened.And I was like, no, I don't
know. I was like, they left my house.
What they did after they left myhouse, I have no idea.
They left. And he was like, and then so I
was like, that's where I wrote my police report on 'cause I had
to make a police report. And then he asked me outside.
He's like, just between you and me, you know, what happened?
I was like, of course I know what happened.
I was like, but it's hearsay. I don't know.
(24:14):
I wasn't there, you know what I mean?
That's all I know. And those kids that were good
kids, I think they're all in jail now.
My best friend is in jail for murder right now.
And I've had so many people havedied, like all these good people
that I knew growing up. And yet their whole like when
New Mexico's most wanted was actually arrested at my house.
I was like, he showed up to my house and I was like, what are
(24:36):
you? What are you doing?
And he started telling me and hewas like.
I was like, what? And next thing you know, there's
a knock on my door. And they found him already right
then they spent following him. We were friends and apparently
he had been, apparently he had been camping on the mountain
behind my house for like a week.I didn't know.
I didn't see no campground up there.
I'm like, why didn't you go up there and get him?
Why did you wait to come to? He came to my house because he
(24:58):
was known as a dangerous person and they figured they would be
safer getting him at my house then going up on the trying to
get him. So you'd said earlier that Jesus
said help, Jesus came into your life, but what I want to know
is, has cannabis helped in that way of being able to have a
relationship with the Lord? Because for me it has.
(25:19):
It definitely does. It helps you connect more.
It helps. I think it takes away some of
your. Self judgment.
Yes, yes, to where you could just be speak more, speak more
freely or just think more freelyto where you let go of like your
ideas, I don't know the word like you let go.
Of your ego. Yes, yes, you let go of your ego
(25:42):
and you're just able to put it all out there.
I mean, you can't help like evenjust thinking in your head, you
know what I mean? Because I don't pray out loud.
I don't know who all does, but Ido a lot of praying in my head
when I'm driving. And I hate to say it, but I'm
probably, you know, I mean, you're a little bit high
driving. I'm a little bit high all the
time. You're guilty, serious.
You're a lot more serious when you're not high.
(26:03):
And I feel like you can act better when you're just like not
angry. When you're not so negative,
you're a lot more positive. And I think that helps you with
your connection with your higherpower.
I call it God I I mean, I'm not sure.
So do I? No.
And but all I know is how it happened.
Like that middle of the night preacher was talking to me and I
(26:24):
was writing stuff down and it just led me on a path to where I
finally left that situation. And it took a year of praying
and smoking weed and I just, butthe effect that the weed had,
you know what I mean? Until that month that I didn't
have it. I, I mean, I thought it was, you
know what I mean? Just God pulling me out of here.
And it was God, you know what I mean?
(26:46):
And but he was showing me thingsand that last month, I mean, I
was praying and I wasn't hearingfrom God.
I didn't think, you know, like Ifelt like I could hear from God
when I would smoke and I just felt that connection.
And then when I didn't have the weed, I was praying and crying
and praying and crying and I wasn't having that connection.
And then my brother sent me thatpen and like it was like the
(27:07):
hope came back. The you know your prayers
change. Your prayers are more hopeful
than my prayers were before. Yeah, kind of in this way where
you're you're only asking for help.
Just just save me. Save me.
But then when you when you have cannabis in your system, you're
just like, I did this to myself.Yeah, you see a lot.
(27:29):
You reflect a. Lot more.
Yeah, give me strength, you ask?You know, don't say strength.
It changes from that to that. You mean like, yeah, I mean you
can do it on your own. You just want strength and the
wisdom and. Yeah, because it's not.
It never is taken away. It doesn't go, hey, take this
away. It never just disappears, but it
can be, hey, help me walk through this because shit, this
(27:52):
is fucking tough. I don't know how I'm going to
get through it. And thanks, may be a little bit
easier now. Exactly that little bit of
faith, maybe. Yeah, totally had.
Before I mean. And faith today is brought to
you by grapes and cream. Yeah.
The grapes and cream, yeah. Today's mood is sponsored by
Weed. No, but it's exactly that
(28:14):
because then you're able to do certain things like I find it,
you know, where I've, I've talked to a lot of different
Christians and, and, or ex Christians or ex Mormons or
whatever religion they are. They're like I used to be in
religion, but it's all a sham. And, and I agree to some extent,
extent it is a sham because it's, it's a, it's a shakedown.
(28:34):
But at the other part, it's whenyou can slow down and realize
that you're important, that you matter, that your thoughts are
valid, that they are important for the world.
And then you get this crazy thing starts happening with
cannabis in your system. You start loving other people
openly and you let them know. Yes.
(28:58):
Right. Your whole demeanor is softer.
Your whole demeanor is friendlier.
But you can follow the greatest commandment that God has given
us right to love each other. Yes, and you cannot say people
do not. You know, that's what I tell
people. Cannabis people are the most
friendly people ever. They're the happiest.
You know, we hate starting wars.We are neighbors.
(29:20):
We're not, you know, doing a lotof things that society is, you
know, kind of marked us for it being the gateway drug.
All the stuff like stoners, all this stuff, you know, it's all a
lie. It's been a lie for a really
long time. And we've just grown up with it,
thinking that it is because somebody told us that it's bad
for us. Yeah, so many of us are sheeple.
(29:43):
I've quit so many churches like you have no idea if a church is
against cannabis I won't go. I mean this is a plan my God,
how can you not before it that heals?
Yeah, there's just a lot of fear.
You would say it's a miracle drug.
You know what I mean? Like this is God's, one of God's
miracles. But no, you'd rather take your
prescription pills. All right, I'm good.
(30:05):
It says that you're supposed to,you know, with like minded
people and that's not like minded to me.
Right. You know, so I finally found a
church that isn't against it. Good for you, good for you, but.
It's not against it. I'm trying to change your.
Well, you know, it, it honestly,it does.
I mean, it's going to be from your demeanor and it's going to
(30:26):
be how you interact. And and that's why I tell a lot
of people they're just like, why, why would you even consider
even now, like I have people around me in my in my small
Christian community where they'll be just like, you know,
I still don't understand why youcould use it.
But these are the younger people.
This is The funny thing is that they're the ones that have it's
because it's perpetuated down because our generation we're
(30:48):
around the same age and our generation used was brought up
all in that anti culture. We're still the ones who are a
little nervous when we're smoking out like on the street
with a joint going, Oh, we couldget in trouble and you're like
nobody, nobody cares. Nobody cares.
I had a temper issue not that long ago and I'm really mad and
(31:08):
when I get really mad sometimes I don't calm down right away.
Sounds like you need indica more.
Yes, I I, you know I slow. Have you tried edibles?
Not edibles fuck me up. I'm too little.
Like I'm small and always. Oh, it's always dose, Always
dose or tinctures if 'cause you can I do.
Do tinctures. I do tinctures all the.
(31:30):
Time, I'm like those are great 'cause you can start at a lower
dose. Sometimes edibles where it's
like out 10 or 20 milligrams, that's still way too like high
of a milligram for what you're looking for, so.
I think I just get too impatientand like it's not hitting me and
I'll try to eat a little bit more.
Yeah, that's definitely the problem.
Yeah, I just, I mean, I don't like it.
(31:51):
I had to wait too long for the. High struggle's real, Yeah, it
has to be a planned ahead of time.
Not like, oh, I need it now. It's like I'll puff and then
I'll take this little edible andmaybe just puff on a pen and
then, you know, the edible mightkick in in a bit and then it'll
be good. But at least you'll navigate I.
Don't have that discipline. Like I can't even like I can't
(32:12):
even carry joints around with me.
I carry a pan just because if I have a joint I want to smoke it
all. Done.
Oh yeah? Well, I don't like to smoke half
a joint. Take a hat.
Yeah, but if I can't do that, I got to go to work, you know what
I mean? There's stuff I got to do.
Like there's expensive guys. Find you guys about the
expensive I worked at the last dispensary I worked at.
(32:35):
It is Oh you might want to edit this out, but it is crooked here
in Oklahoma. The whole steam is crooked.
Yeah. Yeah, but I was working at this
dispensary and you're not supposed to like, you know, you
can't sell weed that found in the system.
Well, they were always messing up their orders that they bring
in because it was like a grow that had a dispensary.
But we were just. Selling their weed there.
(32:56):
And so I was always trying to sell some stuff that wasn't in
the system or whatever. And then I found out right next
door to me and the city attorney, and then on the other
side of me was the county commissioner.
Wow. I was like, I don't think I
could sell sit here. They treat these new people and
sell, you know, weed like this like and they never cleaned it
(33:17):
up. I finally quit like I I.
Yeah, we we had. I was too nervous even though, I
mean, they never came in the store.
It was just like I was sitting between two cops selling legal
weed. That's no good, especially when
it's legal. Especially if they're doing
things, that's great. Skate and Gray area.
Wow, Gray areas. Thank you.
Grapes and cream. You know, I there's there's
(33:42):
places out here like I was working at this grow in Ada and
I don't see these signs going down the highway and say huge
sale, huge sale. I thought, one day I'm going to
stop by there and check out thishuge sale.
I thought yard sale. I'm not sure what I thought.
So finally I did stop and you pull into this house and you
drive past the house to like where they have maybe used to be
(34:03):
a garage that they converted in the back to a little store.
And it said flea market. I'm like, OK, so then I go in
and when I first walk in there, there's nobody in there.
And I'm just kind of like around.
But as soon as you walk in, there's a little display right
there with some weed pipes. And so I'm like, OK, and then
this old man walks in. This old man.
(34:25):
And I'm like, OK, so I start looking around other stuff,
whatever. And I grabbed a few themes and I
walk up to the register. I was like, yeah, can I get one
of those wheat pipes? And he's like, oh, yeah.
He's like, it seems like everybody smokes weed these
days. And I'm like, yeah, I just
worked right down the road. And he's like, yeah.
He's like, well, I grew up a little bit of my own, you know,
I'm like, oh, yeah, He's like, yeah.
(34:46):
He's like, I just made some cake, a strawberry cake.
And I was like, oh, yeah, He's like, yeah.
He's like, you want a piece? I was like, heck yeah.
And so then he went and got me apiece of cake.
And this was a great cake. You can even taste the weed in
it. And he's on.
Well, I sell a little bit of weed, too.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Well, like in the quarter. That was the best little stop of
my life like that. I mean, some security cameras.
(35:10):
I got me some cake. That's hilarious.
Oh my gosh. Surprised.
Yeah. I'm telling you, I would have
stopped a lot sooner. Yeah, if you go.
And get that recipe. Yeah, you make me.
I'm thinking about it right now.I'm like, I'm thinking about.
I would add a little lemon zest to that cake with strawberries.
So you got the salt, the the sour, and the.
(35:32):
Sweet Limoncello 10, I'm fusing that.
Oh, there was there was a restaurant out here that I had
traded. I was doing marketing and I got
free food all the time. They had this limoncello cake
and. Oh my gosh.
It was so good. It was, it was fantastic.
And then we had the Limoncello arts.
Yeah. Dude, not that that was.
(35:53):
Fun when I first moved out here,you know, when I first moved out
here. That's funny that that Robert,
because it's been backwards likethat since I moved out here
because, you know, Oklahoma is in the Bible belt, what they
call the Bible belt, they call it God's country.
Like they didn't even I rememberasking somebody when I first
moved out here, I was like, whatdoes that even mean?
Like and they're like, you get porn.
I'm like, what is double porn? You're like, what?
(36:16):
What even is that? And then but they had built back
with things like you could go toand buy a head shop and but
behind the head shop there was like an adult store.
Like you just had to walk. Through the curtain like it's
not advertised. Anything goes like some.
Vaporizers. Yeah, by the way, we've got some
(36:37):
double headed dildos and. That's around the corner, Yeah.
We've got just waved to the camera.
We've got nitrates, we've got everything you want, right?
We've got. Hers I didn't.
Know, but no, they don't tell you.
You just I just happened to lookbehind the curtain like.
I'm like. What's going on back here?
Adult amusement. Park.
Yeah, No, I'm telling. You.
That's the real reason why Utah created the Zion curtains.
(37:00):
We've got something to not. As much anymore it's it's coming
down yeah so so take us to whereyou are now like how is life now
with with cannabis? What are you doing now What are
your aspirations? What are you what are you aiming
to do? Cuz you're in the you're in a
completely different stage in your life, clearer than you've
(37:22):
been before. I'm just trying.
I want to help people. That's what I want to do.
I mean, I tried. I was in the industry.
I worked at four or five different pros.
So what does that look like for you?
Helping people. I want to help people however I
can. I'm doing home health right now
cool I I do feel like God put meon the cat.
(37:42):
The path to cannabis and recovery.
But in the, for me working in the like, I learned about
cannabis and how it worked with the body.
I've taken Doctor Regina Nelson's Canadian classes and
Canadian trainer classes and they are great.
I definitely recommend them to anybody.
I don't, I can see that first class of her being cannabis
one-on-one. Everybody should know, you know
(38:03):
what I mean? A lot of the education isn't
being taught to the patients outhere, you know.
And so how much good is it doing?
We're just calling it medicinal.I would like to take some change
in that, but I just like helpingpeople.
Right now I'm doing home health and I'm actually at my one of my
clients house right now, Jonathan.
He has Down syndrome and I become a part of this family.
(38:26):
So I'm not sure what it looks like for me.
I just like to help people. I want, I want to say what's up
to Chad Tyson? He actually gave me my first job
in the dispensary. That really helped my confidence
and it was a really boost because I wasn't sure.
I don't know, he does. I walked in and he gave me the
job. Coming from an abusive
relationship, coming off the drugs, that really meant a lot.
(38:47):
I mean, that job didn't end well, but that's another story.
But you know, it had nothing to do with Chad.
Just give back to, you know, people has helped me.
This family here has helped me. I just want to give back and I
want to help people. I would love to advocate.
I would love to help the whole country.
I mean, I think cannabis can help a lot of people recover and
(39:08):
I would like to be a part of that.
But I still small town nowhere Oklahoma girl, you know, I mean,
I don't even like being on a podcast.
I was so nervous. I was.
Like. No, I recovery meeting on Zoom
without even looking at myself. I didn't even put on makeup.
I was all sweaty. I saw myself on that thing and I
(39:28):
instantly got nervous. I wish wishing I wasn't there.
I was like, Oh my God, this is what I look like.
It's OK, we are. On the show all the time.
And. We talk all the time we talk to
people all the time and yet we jumped on a state born meeting
for the Utah State cannabis thing and I stammered through my
(39:50):
entire sentence as I tried to speak and I'm like, this was the
most embarrassing thing yet I dothis all the time.
I don't know what was wrong justdid.
My heart was pitting racing. Oh my gosh, it's live and I was
like, wait, they know nothing about cannabis.
I know more than any of them, said he called.
That this is ridiculous that I'mnervous to have this
(40:10):
conversation here. And then I was totally.
Fine, yeah, but. His my phone.
Cut. I was all drunk.
Yeah. Somebody was calling me and I
was trying to get him off and then all of a sudden it just
disconnect me like right in the middle of his.
Statement thing and what? Yeah, I know.
I I get it. And that's the thing that, you
know, what we do, why we createdthis show and why we added the
(40:33):
sesh, which is what you're on. It's Cannabis School is here to
be able to be that open portal for people to understand the
impact that cannabis can actually have on your life.
And you know, where people are like, Oh, well, you're using it
as a crutch, OK. I mean, if that's going to keep
me propped up a little bit longer, fine.
(40:54):
What is the methadone? Clinic what is all of these
other things that they're using to navigate their addiction or
their struggles within that life?
Like it's just one thing for another and one might have less
side effects, less long term side effects, but it's it's like
things like. Kratom too or Kratom, you know,
(41:14):
people will get off heroin or onXanax or whatever and they'll
take Kratom and then they get addicted and they go Kratom's
harder to get off then then the Xanax was Kratom's harder to get
off than the heroin because it'sso like it, it just takes a hold
of people. And so even with the natural
thing around everything like, oh, it's natural, it's good for
(41:36):
you, no worries. But I with cannabis, because
there's so many different types of strains and what it can do
for your body and at what times and what you're taking it for.
And if there's intent, like withhow you practice, how we
practice it, it takes on a wholenew thing where it's like people
go, yeah, I could go a day without cannabis, but why would
(41:58):
I? Like, it's like for people who
really get a difference, like I could stop taking my
multivitamins, but it helps me. I feel I'm like, why would I
stop? Everybody.
Needs to everybody. Needs to understand that a low
dose like I'm, I guess I'm not sure you're allergic to it, but
a low dose therapeutic throughout the day isn't going
to get you high. Yeah, and it's going for.
(42:19):
Body to balance. You're not even.
Going to feel it, which I mean, it's going to.
Be helping. Your body, you know, I mean,
you're going to feel better. Yeah.
Take out. Attention some of that anxiety
dose one-on-one, you know. Exactly like we're talking about
treating medical conditions. Why don't?
I'm sure it can help prevent them if you just want your body
to balance before you know what I mean?
(42:39):
Well, like every medication. When you go to your doctor, they
give you that prescribed method to follow.
And the problem is, is that withmost cannabis, people don't have
that prescribed method to follow.
So it's not like, hey, take thismilligram, this micro dose at
this time, if you feel this or you're feeling this way, take
this milligram of maybe this terpene and cannabinoid.
(43:00):
We've got this micro dose and it's in this form.
Do this and then at this time dothis one.
Like we don't have that built out for most people going.
You're feeling anxious or you struggle with this, or maybe
you've got this disease or this disorder.
We'll use these terpenes in cannabinoids at this routinely
thing just like any other doctorwould prescribe going.
This is what's worked for a lot of people and maybe it doesn't
(43:22):
work for you just like any otherMed.
Well, everybody, I'm sorry, Doctor.
Everybody's body is. Different and it's everybody's
body's different. So what it works for me is
probably not going to work for you unless we have the exact
same body, you know, I mean, it's just makes sense.
It's like meds. How many meds?
It's like you and the doctor, well this one gave me these side
effects. Well let's try this other one.
It's because it's not a one-size-fits-all.
(43:43):
And that's the same thing with cannabis.
You know, real quick, my phone is going to.
Die. No.
No worries. You're good.
I'm sorry. No.
Well, hey, we really. Appreciate you being able to
come on the show, Share your story.
This is really important for ouraudience.
There's a lot of people out there just like you.
So for those who are listening in there, thank you for having
me. Thank you so much for having me
for the opportunity. Thanks for joining and.
(44:06):
For everyone at home, we love you guys.
Catch you next week. Take care.
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