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August 23, 2024 19 mins

Michelle is preparing for her upcoming TEDx talk. We discuss tips and tricks for speakers including why not to write word for word what you are going to say, how to put the audience in the spotlight, and the beauty of a full stop as a gift for your audience. Enjoy

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Episode Transcript

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(00:00):
G'day leaders, in this podcast with my very deep voice, I have to talk like this because

(00:07):
I lost my voice yesterday and if I try and talk in the higher register, I just lose it.
So bear with me.
We've got some exciting news in this podcast.
We share that Michelle is about to do a TED Talk at the TEDx conference coming up.
Very exciting news.
We decided to talk about some skills around presenting and public speaking.

(00:30):
So we share some do's and don'ts and where we have had challenges in the past and how
we've overcome them.
Enjoy.
Why did it count backwards?
Oh no, we're now recording.
What?
Hello Captain.
What do I say?
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away.
What are we going to talk about?

(00:54):
I don't know.
So leadership, life and everything else.
Yeah.
Pardoned, we're live.
No, we're recording.
And I'm going to be having a very deep voice in this podcast, Michelle, because yesterday
I lost my voice completely and only the lower register has come back.

(01:18):
And when I try to talk up high, I lose my voice.
You'll have to bear with me through this one.
But I thought it's a great opportunity to do a podcast because a very exciting thing
is going to be happening very soon.
You're going to be doing a TED Talk.
Yes, I know.
I'm very excited to share my idea with the world, upcoming TED Talk this week, five days

(01:44):
to go.
Yes, very exciting.
And we're talking about how your preparation for this TED Talk is very different to your
preparation for your typical keynotes.
Yeah.
I was actually feeling quite stressed about it.
And my mum reminded me, Michelle, listen to your podcast that you've done.

(02:05):
Let it go.
But it is a little different, the process.
And yeah, that's why we wanted to talk about it.
We're up here in Darwin at the moment.
And we've done a couple of workshops and keynotes.
And people have asked us or have mentioned that their number one fear is public speaking,

(02:25):
which is the global number one fear amongst humans, it seems to be.
Yes, followed by death.
Yes.
And we have been asking for some tips and tricks.
And then we were discussing last night about how the preparation for the TED Talk has been
very different to how we both normally prepare for keynotes.

(02:49):
Because you're...
Oh, sorry, I'll have to talk deep again because I'm going to go down to this register so I
can actually talk.
Because your typical preparation for a keynote is that you don't write out word for word
what you're going to say.
Correct.
I don't have a script.
So my normal keynote is structure, based on structure, and the messaging that the organization

(03:12):
want the audience to take away and how they want them to feel.
So you go through and you work through the structure.
But you know your own stories.
You know your own cadence, et cetera.
So you don't write it out word for word.
No, no.
And in fact, we teach this in the presentation skills workshop that you should never write

(03:34):
out word for word what you want to say because then your brain thinks it has to go exactly
like that, which puts under your pressure on you.
Now, regrettably, with the TED Talk, you have to write it out word for word and you have
to do it like that because they need to go over and fact check it before they give you
the green light to do it, don't they?
That's right.
So it is word for word.

(03:55):
We have been told that the occasional and or so or the filler words, they can be changed.
But basically, the overall talk needs to be memorized.
The challenge with that is that you don't want to come across as a rehearsed script
because it's boring.

(04:16):
Yeah, you want to be casual.
Exactly.
It actually reminded me of the last time I got nervous speaking.
I've been speaking my whole career and I don't get nervous.
I get excited.
I love doing it.
But my best mate was getting married and he asked me to be his best man and I was really

(04:37):
looking forward to it.
And this is quite a few years ago now.
But I wrote out word for word what I wanted to say at the wedding because he's such a
good friend.
He's been there for me when I've needed someone all throughout my life.
We've known each other since year seven in high school.
You were in the circus together, right?
We were in the circus together.

(04:57):
He was the actual clown.
I was kind of like a part time clown because I was also an acrobat and juggler.
But he was a full time clown and one of the funniest clowns I've ever met.
But I was preparing for his wedding speech, the best man speech and I wrote out word for
word what I wanted to say because I put all this pressure on myself thinking, you know,
this is a very big moment in his life, in my life and it has to be perfect.

(05:22):
So that's what I was thinking.
And so I write out word for word.
The morning I woke up, the morning of the wedding, I woke up and I started feeling nervous.
More nervous than the groom.
Yeah, just really nervous.
And I didn't realize it was about the speech, but I just felt nervous.
I could feel it.
And then I'm thinking, why am I feeling nervous?
Why am I feeling this way?

(05:43):
And I realized it's because of the speech.
And I'm thinking, I'm a professional speaker.
Why would I be feeling nervous?
And I realized it's because I'd not listened to my own advice in my own courses and that
is I'd written it out word for word.
So what I did is I just got a pen.
I underlined the key ideas.

(06:03):
I then wrote those key ideas into a list.
I then memorized that list and on the night and this is going to sound like bragging and
it is, I gave the best speech of my life.
I had the audience in tears.
I had the audience laughing.
I had moments where you could hear a pin drop and it was exactly what I wanted from my mate.

(06:27):
I wanted it to go perfectly, but it wasn't until I took the pressure off myself of having
it written out word for word.
And so I just spoke to these ideas rather than a speech written out word for word, which
is what you're going through at the moment.
Yeah, so that list that you wrote was basically the structure.
You knew in what order.
That's it.
Yeah.

(06:48):
But we have been supported through this process with the speakers for TEDx because they've
been giving us ideas and tips for memorizing paragraphs and then the flow and keywords
from the last paragraph which prompt the next paragraph, et cetera, which I'm sure actors

(07:11):
use all the time and they're very good at it.
It's just a different process.
So I'm looking at it as, okay, this is something new.
I've not done this before.
I was in plays and things growing up, but it wasn't, I don't know, the pressure didn't
seem to be there.
Well, I think it's also because Michelle, you have told me that this has been on your

(07:33):
bucket list for a long time.
Oh, it has.
Honestly, I am very, very excited and feeling very grateful.
Five days ago, counting down, the excitement is building and I'm just so excited to listen
to the other speakers as well.
I was there when we were all doing our drafts and they're just, oh, they're even hearing

(08:02):
those, some of their talks have inspired me already to change how I see things.
So it's, yeah, very exciting.
I'm looking forward to it, I'm going to be sitting in the audience, rah-rah-ing and cheering.
Awesome, what a great opportunity.
It reminded us, and we've been speaking a bit about what we teach people in the presentation

(08:26):
skills course and public speaking courses about how to connect with your audience.
And we were last night talking about the importance of storytelling.
And so I'm not going to give away your TED talk here, but I love the story.
One of the stories that you're going to be sharing in that and why, for me, it's just
so engaging because when you tell that story, I picture it in my mind.

(08:49):
And it is the easiest way to share information with people is just to tell a story.
Yeah, and those of you who are in speaking or looking at getting into speaking or need
a presentation may be aware that storytelling is how you do it.
However, I was discussing with you last night that maybe the storytelling, the story was

(09:16):
not enough around the subject.
However, you were saying there are different ways, often a light story can get the audience
to be more receptive to an idea than a heavy hitting dark deep story because it's too much
sometimes and you can get lost in the story without the messaging coming through.

(09:40):
Without applying it to yourself.
Yeah, yeah.
Because yeah, we were talking about you had to hear that the story element of your of
your speeches is not a deep story.
It's an exciting story, but it's not a deep story.
And I said, well, sometimes we need light stories.
Sometimes we need deep stories.
Sometimes we need stories that elicit a laugh.

(10:01):
Sometimes we need stories that elicit emotion.
The other day we had tears in the audience with the key with both our keynotes.
And we do that not to make people cry, but to elicit a deep, deep emotional response
so that when we pick them back up after that moment in the story in the keynote, that we've

(10:23):
got a strong message to deliver.
And that's that's that's why I was so impressed with your with your keynote.
The other day we had a room full of young apprentices.
And so you had this beautiful story that you tell.
And I won't tell it here, but you move people.
You really move people.
And after you finished, I then got up to talk about changing behavior.

(10:49):
And because we just heard your keynote and they were in that that really deep emotional space.
When I was doing my part, and that is to elicit a change in their behavior around certain things,
it was just so easy because you'd taken them on that emotional journey.
So it was very, very impressive, Michelle.
Thank you, Guy.

(11:09):
And you know, I'm your biggest fan, but it's it's it's it's it's what's the word?
It's warranted.
You're a very gifted speaker.
So we were also talking to and I apologize to our listeners for my voice, but I've got
to keep down here in this low register, otherwise I just can't make any sound.
We're talking about the spotlight again, because a lot of people worry about when they're on

(11:31):
stage that they're in the spotlight.
But we remind them that and your lighthouse analogy, I think if you want to just repeat
it.
Yeah.
So people we often think or feel like people are judging us and that the spotlight is on
us.
So if we change that perspective, rather than having the spotlight on us and that people

(11:53):
are judging us and people are looking at us.
Yeah, sure.
We get up on stage and they look at us initially in our first line or two.
You know, they're looking at you.
However, once you start to speak and you're especially if you're storytelling, people
then are listening to the words and putting themselves in that story.

(12:14):
So changing your mindset from the spotlight being on you to being a lighthouse where you're
casting out the vision, the story and they're putting themselves in it.
You can see, you can actually see if you take the time to look at the audience and look
at people's faces, that look, they're looking at you, but they're not really seeing you

(12:38):
because they're in their mind and they're going through the story.
They're either watching the story or they're in the story.
And knowing that, it gives you the ability to one, step away out of yourself, out of
your own insecurities, but also then control how they see the story.

(13:03):
You can see how your words, the cadence, the pauses, the emphasis can really help them
with their being in their story.
And I'll give our audience an example of this.
Okay, so I'm speaking directly to you now, the audience who are listening to us.
Have you ever been to Melbourne and sat in one of those wonderful cafes that they have

(13:28):
in the laneways in the city and just sat there and admired the ambience and the wonderful
coffee that they have in Melbourne?
What a brilliant experience when you get to go to a different city and enjoy the culture
of that city.
All right, there you go.
There's an example.

(13:49):
So whilst I was saying that, I guarantee you, the majority of you listening who have been
to Melbourne would have placed yourself back in the cafe that you're in and you weren't
even focusing on me and this horrible deep voice that I've got at the moment.
You were thinking about your experience.
You were putting my words into your brain and turning it into your own experience.

(14:09):
And so when people are listening to you, when you're a speaker and when you're a presenter,
people aren't actually paying attention to you, believe it or not.
They're turning your words into their own experience and they are more inside their
head than they are thinking about you.
And so Michelle's analogy of being a lighthouse is very apt because when you're speaking and
people are listening and you're telling stories and you're using descriptive words, people

(14:34):
take themselves to those locations and no longer do they even notice that you're the
one in front of them giving them that information.
And once you get that into your head, it really does free you up when you're in front of an
audience.
There's also another trick that I was told a while ago that if, despite that, if you're

(14:57):
trying to change your mindset and you're not quite there yet, if you feel like you're shaking
from nerves, change it to shaking with excitement.
However, if you're still shaking and you don't want to be shaking, clench your buttocks.
You said this yesterday in front of our class and I was laughing because you've never said

(15:18):
this to me before.
I've never tried it but I'll try it next time.
I don't actually experience nerves on stage but I might just try to for the fun of it.
Yeah, because you concentrate, you're putting your muscles, you're tensing up and you're
putting your muscles into the derriere region.
I'm not sure if it's good for the glutes and you'll get a perkier butt at the end.

(15:40):
But it does help kind of stop the nerves.
One other thing that we were talking to our students about, and you mentioned it just
before, is a pause.
Many people when they're presenting or speaking, they fill the gaps with ums and ahs.
Yes, verbal clots.

(16:01):
And the reason why they do that is because they think that talking is a constant stream
of sound and if you go silent then the attention is on you.
The opposite is true.
When you go silent and you emphasise that full stop at the end of a sentence, people
are in their own head processing the last thing that you said.

(16:24):
They're not focusing on the fact that you're not talking.
You're actually using that gift that you've just given them, the gift of silence, to process
the last thing that you said.
And very inexperienced presenters and speakers, you often see them, they're rushing and they
don't give the audience a chance to process the last thing that they've heard.

(16:45):
And so if you're speaking or presenting, the way you do this is that you focus on the full
stop.
So when you're talking, you think, all right, I'm coming up to the end of my sentence and
when I finish my sentence, I'm going to stop.
And the gap between that stop and the next sentence is a gift for your audience to process

(17:08):
the last thing that you said.
And that's how you get rid of the ums and ahs.
You basically, and I even do it in my head as if I'm putting a pencil on a piece of paper
and I do the dot on the end of the sentence.
It just reminds me constantly that audiences need silence.
And if you don't give them the silence, it's impossible for them to discriminate between

(17:32):
one idea and the next idea.
It's like it all blends in and makes it difficult to listen.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Yes.
The full stop.
The full stop.
The visual full stop in your mind.
Yes.
Yes.
I'm very excited to watch your upcoming TED Talk.
Congratulations on being selected and I believe you're the closing speaker on the night as

(17:56):
well.
Yes.
Yeah, they've asked you to close it out.
So I get to hear everyone else's first, which is amazing.
I'm very excited.
Yeah.
But it's kudos to you that they listened to you in your rehearsals and they want you to
finish up the night.
So congratulations.
Thank you.
And I'm looking forward to it.
We might not go too much longer with this very croaky voice.

(18:18):
I'll keep it deep as I sign off.
All right.
So Lindt.
Yes.
Bose.
Bollinger.
Where are you?
We've mentioned you every single podcast and we still haven't had the phone call.
Come on.
Looking for us?
No, we're not looking for a sponsor.
We're just mucking around here.
More dogs.
More dogs.

(18:39):
Yep.
The world will be a better place with more dogs.
And the people that say no more dogs are cat people.
Good to see you again and good luck on your TED Talk.
Thanks, guys.
Cheers.
Bye.
Well, that was fun.
That was fun.
You're such a clown.
Thanks, my old captain.
Lady captain.
And who's going to listen to this?
Maybe our mums.
Thanks, mum.
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