October 15, 2024 • 21 mins
In this episode, Elaine shares some of her favorite speaking tools and tips. There is so much goodness for a new speaker, a wanna be speaker and for someone who's been speaking for years.
Elaine shares her humor tips to help make any audience chuckle and even howl with laugher. And she shows you that you don't have to be the one up there telling jokes. There are lots of ways to bring light and laughter to your talks, your coaching, your webinars and more.
Please share this episode with a friend who needs to laugh more!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
hello and welcome.
This is Elaine Williams withCaptivate the Mic.
Today, I want to talk aboutadding humor.
So this is really aimed at ifyou are already speaking,
because if you're just startingout, the thought of adding humor
to a talk or a video isdaunting.
(00:27):
Adding humor is.
More of an intermediate thing,so you've already gotten the
basics, you already know how tocraft a talk, you already know
how to start off strong with ahook'em and all the things I
talk about and model as aprofessional speaker myself and
as a comedian.
What I have found that once youstart speaking more, you realize
(00:49):
that humor is such a greatsuperpower.
It is such a great tool to havein your back pocket.
So I'm going to share a few ofthe questions that I get asked a
lot.
And this is going to be a wholeseries because there's so much
(01:10):
you can go into.
So the first thing I want to sayis congratulations because it
takes a lot of courage to wantto even try to be funny.
And when I first moved to NewYork and got sober, comedy was
not even on my radar.
I wanted to do musical theaterIt is a marathon, adding humor
and comedy in general.
There are nuances and nuances.
(01:32):
So I want to talk about first,why do we laugh?
We laugh because we'resurprised.
We laugh when we're shocked, welaugh when we can relate, we
laugh when somebody sayssomething and we're like, did
they just say that out loud?
Comedians say things thateverybody else is thinking.
(01:53):
And we laugh because it's human.
I love laughter.
I love it so much and I loveteaching it.
I love trying to do it.
I still love stand up and I loveadding humor and helping people
do that.
And so I thought, you know what,this is going to be my second
topic.
Don't quit your day job, right?
Like it, it takes a while.
It's a muscle.
(02:14):
Comedy is a muscle.
And one of the first things youcan do is just say, okay, five
minutes a day, I'm going towatch.
Comedians or America's funniestvideos or the funniest Ted Talk,
which let me give you the two.
My favorite top two is Sir KenRobinson.
(02:36):
He has two Ted Talks.
His first one was on doescreativity get killed in
schools?
And it's brilliant.
And his use of humor isfabulous.
And then his second TED Talk, hecomes out and he says, So as I
was saying, which gets a biglaugh because They were, there
was a big gap between his firstand second talk.
(02:59):
So you had to know that in orderto laugh, brilliant opening.
And then my other favorite funnyTed talk guy is Sean Aker and he
has one on happiness and he camefrom Waco, Texas, and he had
this dream to go to Harvard andhe actually got in and then he
stayed on as an RA and heobserved that a lot of the kids
(03:22):
were.
So not happy.
They were very stressed out.
So he does this whole thingabout what is happiness and he
does a lot of workplace culturestuff and he's hilarious.
And so one of your first.
And I think that's a reallyimportant piece of homework is
start thinking why is thisperson funny, or why do I think
this is funny, or so much ofhumor is subjective.
(03:43):
So just being in thatconversation is brilliant.
And then think about the thingsI just told you about why we
laugh as humans, and also knowthat comedy is very subjective.
So one of the challenges is whenyou go to open mics when you're
working on new jokes or newmaterial, sometimes There are
younger males who feel like it'sreally funny to talk about
(04:08):
genitalia or farting or otherbodily functions, and it's just
a phase that many young males gothrough and some of them never
really get out of it, and they,it's hilarious.
And it usually is not that funnyto the rest of us.
Some people love that New Yorkintellectual humor, right?
(04:32):
Some people love the neuroticWoody Allen.
I do think he's brilliant eventhough there's other things
about him I don't like.
Same for Louis C.
K.
Brilliant.
Dark.
His humor is so dark.
And I love his work even if theperson, eh, not so much, right?
Wanda Sykes.
She's one of my favorites.
(04:52):
I want you to start a comedynotebook and start watching five
minutes a day on YouTube orlistening to it on podcasts or
listening to it.
Why do I think this person isfunny?
What is it?
Do they act out the stories?
Are they over the top?
Are they more like StephenWright, who's like these little
one liners?
He does these jokes.
He played like the sad emoji inthe emoji movie.
(05:16):
He's been doing it for 30 years.
He's brilliant with very simple,dry one liners.
So there's lots of differentstyles.
What kind of style are you as aspeaker?
So you want to start to be awareof that.
That's your homework to thinkabout watching the Ted talks,
watching the funny things.
And I'm going to give you acouple of humor, Like when they
(05:38):
have safety rails, so you don'tgo off the rails, that's,
bumpers, that's the word I'mlooking for, safety bumpers.
A couple of things.
We don't want to be hacky,right?
So hacky is when you can see itcoming a mile away.
If you've ever heard somebodytell jokes out of a joke book,
or jokes you got off theinternet.
It's those are somebody else'sjokes, so you want to try to,
(06:01):
Write some jokes that arespecific to you and your topics
as a speaker.
And what is specific to yourindustry.
And that's another nuancedconversation.
But for now, I want you to havethe homework.
Okay, you're looking at funnypeople and thinking about that.
You're thinking about what.
Speaker.
Am I like overcoming obstacles?
Do I teach on specific topicsthat need to be lightened up
(06:24):
because it's so heavy?
I used to speak on collegecampuses about addiction and
assault heavy, but I would usehumor and I would set the
context in the beginning andsay, look, I'm going to tell
jokes because it's part of myhealing process, but I am making
fun of me, my family, myaddictions, my journey.
I would never make fun ofsomebody else.
(06:44):
I guess that's another point Iwanna say is we don't need mean
humor that is strictly for thecomedy clubs.
You never wanna be a meanspeaker.
People say, I'm a motivationalspeaker.
No.
It goes without saying, ifyou're a pro speaker, you should
automatically be motivational.
It's more about what do youspeak on, what kind of speaker
(07:07):
Motivation is just like a given.
And if you're not motivating.
You've got to get motivatingbecause that is a core element
and humor is a shortcut to getthere So so we talked about the
bumpers for a second So whileyou're playing in this new realm
of humor, I want you to thinkabout safe topics so we never
(07:31):
make fun of anybody else'sreligion or culture or
challenges Here are some safetopics, okay?
And, this is just the beginningsof a long conversation.
So if you're not sure what tothink about, you can always,
what's the deal between cats anddogs.
(07:53):
Think about if you could do acomparison, you could talk about
horrible food when you travel,you can talk about traffic, you
could talk about aging parentsraising kids, how hard it is to
be human.
There is so much to make fun ofwithout making fun of people.
(08:13):
Other people's, there's enoughright on in your life.
Okay.
So that is, we don't want to bebullies.
We don't need more mean humor.
We've got plenty of that.
And as a speaker, the last thingyou want to do is alienate
anybody in your crowd, right?
We want to draw a big inclusivenet.
(08:33):
That's why you're a speaker.
That's part of the game, unlessyou've been hired for one
specific I'm not talking aboutthat.
You want to think about safetopics.
Now, if you're I really want totry to write some stuff, that
can be challenging.
And if you're willing to do alittle bit of the work, it can
be awesome because the more thatyou can come out with something
(08:55):
specific to you, your journey,your topics, your life
experience, the moreauthentically it's going to land
with your audience.
And the less likely somebodyelse can feel it, right?
I'll never forget my aunt joke.
I do this aunt joke, I'd say Ilove being an aunt, but it's
(09:15):
expensive.
Last Christmas, I spent so muchmoney on my brother's kids
gifts.
You know what I got in return?
A picture of them in thebathtub.
So this year I'm giving them apicture of me on the toilet.
It's very silly and goofy.
And I was really attached tothis joke.
And I just thought it was, itwas a new comic and I was like,
(09:37):
this is my aunt stuff.
And then I heard somebody elsedo a very similar joke.
And then somebody said, Elaine,everybody has an aunt and uncle
joke like that.
And I was Oh, and so it's agreat lesson and check your ego
at the door and you want to beas authentic as you can within
(09:58):
reason.
And, you might hear similarjokes.
I guess what I'm saying is keepan open mind to it all.
Don't be mean.
There's plenty of stuff to makefun of.
Another thing I want you tothink about is.
What I call the rule of three,and this is great for any kind
of writing.
(10:18):
If you're a copywriter, whichyou should be working on that
too, as a speaker, as a coach,our brains love threes.
She was beautiful.
She was brilliant.
She was funny.
She was this.
She was that.
She was this.
Our brains like rules of three.
Once I've said this, you'regoing to notice it more.
(10:41):
In copies, in advertising, in somany things.
And a rule of three is a greattool when you're thinking about
writing some kind of joke.
Cause it's this, it's that.
So I'm going to give you anexample of misdirection.
Oh, New York city in the summer,ah, the sun on my face, the wind
(11:03):
on my back, the smell of peeeverywhere, which you could say
that about any city in Americaor maybe in the world.
So that's a great example.
It's, I use the rule of threesun on my face, one on my back.
And then I also usemisdirection.
We went a totally different way.
That you didn't see, right?
Smell of pee everywhere.
(11:25):
And it's a pattern interrupt.
It's, I took you, we went thisway, and then we went this way.
And there's a laugh because it'swhoa! And just playing with that
is a blast.
Start thinking about if youcould write What would that be
about?
What could you say?
(11:45):
Start thinking about what youcould make fun of about your
topic.
Your journey, your specificthing.
And another thing to think aboutis you could journal about
what's awkward.
What's awkward about this thingthat I do?
What's weird about this thingthat I do?
(12:08):
What's challenging about thisthing that I do?
Because isn't that what comedyis about?
It's about it's about awkwardmoments that we all have as
humans.
Right?
And.
Nate Borghese, I freaking thinkhe's brilliant.
If you have not seen his skit onSaturday night, live about
(12:31):
general Washington, goimmediately stop this and go
watch it and you will thank melater.
Oh my gosh.
I really love his style.
And he did this whole bit, howhe was like, Went for a hike
with a guy, and it wasn't reallya hike, and they were just
(12:52):
walking, and they were friends,but they didn't know each other
very well, and then he saw thisturtle, and he felt like he had
to say something, like he had tomake some observation about the
turtle, and he said something,and then his friend said, yeah,
(13:13):
turtles are cold blooded, andthen it was, there was this
like, awkward silence Of coursehe knew that, and he felt
embarrassed that his friendmaybe thought that he didn't
know that, but then he wasn'tsure if he was just trying to
make conversation.
(13:33):
And so then it was just likethis weird, awkward, silent walk
the rest of the way.
And then when I got back to hiscar, he's Hey man sorry about
the turtle stuff.
Anyway, the way he does it ishilarious.
And we laugh because he isspeaking about something we have
(13:56):
all done.
As human beings, when we saidsomething, we're like, that was,
why did I say that, we'renervous or we're under pressure
or, and it's such a human thingand we laugh because we can so
relate, right?
So that to me is a great exampleabout what awkward moments have
(14:18):
you had in your career at youroffice and other community?
events.
Where have you just been like,oh, why did I say that?
Why do I do that?
My thinking, right?
That is opportunity for humor.
So I know I'm hitting you with alot.
(14:40):
I get so excited talking aboutthis stuff.
I think it's so fun.
And I believe that anybody canlearn to be funnier.
We're not all going to bebrilliant geniuses like Richard
Pryor or Wanda Sykes or MariaBamford, but we can be funnier
as speakers.
So that's a lot for you to thinkabout.
(15:02):
There's a lot of homework inthere.
You can check out the shownotes, and I'm going to leave
you with this When I very firststarted comedy, people kept
saying, you're really funny.
And I was like, what do youmean?
I'm not funny.
I wanted to be the next MerylStreep.
I'm not trying to be funny.
I was so angry.
I was newly sober, new in NewYork city.
(15:22):
It was very challenging time.
It was very stressful.
I had to keep moving andtemping.
I was running out of money.
I was running around trying to.
Make a living and pursue acting.
And I knew two people and itwas, but people kept saying,
you're funny.
You're funny.
And I was like okay.
So when I was getting ready, Iwas taking like an improv class
(15:46):
and I had taken a one woman showworkshop at the pit people's
improv theater, and I wasgetting excited okay, maybe I'm
going to try this standup thing.
So I watched the Jerry Seinfeldmovie about him trying to come
back to stand up after his show,Seinfeld.
And I watched this movie and Isat there like this Oh my God,
(16:09):
like he was struggling with hisjokes.
He sat there with otherbrilliant comics and they
struggled with his jokes andthey tweaked.
And I didn't know that's justpart of the process.
But all I could see was, Oh myGod, if it's this hard for him,
who the hell am I?
And I remember I watched thatdocumentary and I did not sleep
(16:34):
that entire night.
My mind was racing because Ikept thinking, I think I'm
supposed to do this, but I thinkit's really hard, but I don't
really know.
It affected me so much.
I couldn't sleep.
I'm telling you this because Idon't want that to happen to
you.
And here's what I'm going to sayis.
(16:56):
You're not trying to be a standup comedian, at least not yet.
When people go to a comedy show,they're like this.
They cross their arms, they sitback, Make me laugh, clown! Go
ahead, make me laugh, right?
It's very much convince me, showme.
It's very, standoffish.
(17:17):
At least that's how it is on theEast Coast, for sure.
And When people are coming,expecting a speaker to come out
on stage, they are not expectingyou to be funny.
They are just hoping that you'renot going to suck because we
have all sat through those PTAmeetings or whatever where
(17:40):
you're like, I breathe like Iworry for people.
Do you ever do that where yousee somebody and you're like, oh
my god, are they gonna make it?
And this person, like they'rejust sweating.
They're swaying.
They're reading off the card.
They look like they're about to.
So much, they're going to turninto a puddle.
Those people that are like, arethey going to get through it?
I'm always worried for them andI breathe for them because I'm I
(18:01):
empathize because I've been aspeaker.
I've been that nervous beforeI've had my slides freeze and
things happen, right?
So when you come out on a stageor in a meeting and you're
halfway confident.
The audience is going to go, Oh,thank God.
I don't have to worry about thisperson.
(18:22):
They're literally going to sitback and be like, Oh, thank God.
I did not have to worry aboutthis person.
And so if you come out andyou're even the slightest bit
funny, even if you don't get alaugh, if you get a chuckle or a
smile, it's Whoa, And they'renot going to expect it.
(18:44):
So they're more likely tochuckle or smile or laugh.
So the bar is way lower.
So it is daunting to try to wantto add humor and it is beautiful
and brilliant.
And I'll leave you with onefinal thing that I learned in
(19:05):
Toastmasters, which is where Iwent when I very first started.
Cause I had been performing myentire life.
I've been on stage since thefourth grade, did my first movie
when I was 15, but I knew Ididn't know how to speak as
Elaine, the coach, themotivator, the facilitator.
I was used to doing actingstuff.
(19:26):
And so I went to Toastmasters topractice speaking as me.
And one of the sayings that Ilearned from Toastmasters and
NSA, National SpeakersAssociation, you don't have to
be funny to speak.
Only if you want to get paid andthat's a joke and it is a little
bit true.
And there's lots and lots ofways to add humor, lots of ways.
(19:51):
So we will go into this more.
This is going to be a wholeseries.
So thank you for listening.
If you found this helpful pleaseshare this with two more people.
Please rate, subscribe andreview because that's how the
podcast gets pushed out.
That's how more people find me.
My, my mission is to help healthe world one joke, one video,
(20:15):
one podcast episode at a time.
I had three addictions.
I'm an assault survivor,domestic violence survivor, and
I love helping the helpers.
And I believe that there is somuch possibility if we all had
coaches and people cheering uson.
And I know that you have a storyand you have something so
(20:35):
special to say that nobody elsedoes it like you.
And so I'm so glad that ourpaths have crossed.
And I can't wait to see you onthe screen or stage soon and
stay tuned because there's goingto be a whole lot more fun and
value and laughs.
Bye for now.
hello and welcome.
This is Elaine Williams withCaptivate the Mic.
Today, I want to talk aboutadding humor.
So this is really aimed at ifyou are already speaking,
because if you're just startingout, the thought of adding humor
to a talk or a video isdaunting.
(00:27):
Adding humor is.
More of an intermediate thing,so you've already gotten the
basics, you already know how tocraft a talk, you already know
how to start off strong with ahook'em and all the things I
talk about and model as aprofessional speaker myself and
as a comedian.
What I have found that once youstart speaking more, you realize
(00:49):
that humor is such a greatsuperpower.
It is such a great tool to havein your back pocket.
So I'm going to share a few ofthe questions that I get asked a
lot.
And this is going to be a wholeseries because there's so much
(01:10):
you can go into.
So the first thing I want to sayis congratulations because it
takes a lot of courage to wantto even try to be funny.
And when I first moved to NewYork and got sober, comedy was
not even on my radar.
I wanted to do musical theaterIt is a marathon, adding humor
and comedy in general.
There are nuances and nuances.
(01:32):
So I want to talk about first,why do we laugh?
We laugh because we'resurprised.
We laugh when we're shocked, welaugh when we can relate, we
laugh when somebody sayssomething and we're like, did
they just say that out loud?
Comedians say things thateverybody else is thinking.
(01:53):
And we laugh because it's human.
I love laughter.
I love it so much and I loveteaching it.
I love trying to do it.
I still love stand up and I loveadding humor and helping people
do that.
And so I thought, you know what,this is going to be my second
topic.
Don't quit your day job, right?
Like it, it takes a while.
It's a muscle.
(02:14):
Comedy is a muscle.
And one of the first things youcan do is just say, okay, five
minutes a day, I'm going towatch.
Comedians or America's funniestvideos or the funniest Ted Talk,
which let me give you the two.
My favorite top two is Sir KenRobinson.
(02:36):
He has two Ted Talks.
His first one was on doescreativity get killed in
schools?
And it's brilliant.
And his use of humor isfabulous.
And then his second TED Talk, hecomes out and he says, So as I
was saying, which gets a biglaugh because They were, there
was a big gap between his firstand second talk.
(02:59):
So you had to know that in orderto laugh, brilliant opening.
And then my other favorite funnyTed talk guy is Sean Aker and he
has one on happiness and he camefrom Waco, Texas, and he had
this dream to go to Harvard andhe actually got in and then he
stayed on as an RA and heobserved that a lot of the kids
(03:22):
were.
So not happy.
They were very stressed out.
So he does this whole thingabout what is happiness and he
does a lot of workplace culturestuff and he's hilarious.
And so one of your first.
And I think that's a reallyimportant piece of homework is
start thinking why is thisperson funny, or why do I think
this is funny, or so much ofhumor is subjective.
(03:43):
So just being in thatconversation is brilliant.
And then think about the thingsI just told you about why we
laugh as humans, and also knowthat comedy is very subjective.
So one of the challenges is whenyou go to open mics when you're
working on new jokes or newmaterial, sometimes There are
younger males who feel like it'sreally funny to talk about
(04:08):
genitalia or farting or otherbodily functions, and it's just
a phase that many young males gothrough and some of them never
really get out of it, and they,it's hilarious.
And it usually is not that funnyto the rest of us.
Some people love that New Yorkintellectual humor, right?
(04:32):
Some people love the neuroticWoody Allen.
I do think he's brilliant eventhough there's other things
about him I don't like.
Same for Louis C.
K.
Brilliant.
Dark.
His humor is so dark.
And I love his work even if theperson, eh, not so much, right?
Wanda Sykes.
She's one of my favorites.
(04:52):
I want you to start a comedynotebook and start watching five
minutes a day on YouTube orlistening to it on podcasts or
listening to it.
Why do I think this person isfunny?
What is it?
Do they act out the stories?
Are they over the top?
Are they more like StephenWright, who's like these little
one liners?
He does these jokes.
He played like the sad emoji inthe emoji movie.
(05:16):
He's been doing it for 30 years.
He's brilliant with very simple,dry one liners.
So there's lots of differentstyles.
What kind of style are you as aspeaker?
So you want to start to be awareof that.
That's your homework to thinkabout watching the Ted talks,
watching the funny things.
And I'm going to give you acouple of humor, Like when they
(05:38):
have safety rails, so you don'tgo off the rails, that's,
bumpers, that's the word I'mlooking for, safety bumpers.
A couple of things.
We don't want to be hacky,right?
So hacky is when you can see itcoming a mile away.
If you've ever heard somebodytell jokes out of a joke book,
or jokes you got off theinternet.
It's those are somebody else'sjokes, so you want to try to,
(06:01):
Write some jokes that arespecific to you and your topics
as a speaker.
And what is specific to yourindustry.
And that's another nuancedconversation.
But for now, I want you to havethe homework.
Okay, you're looking at funnypeople and thinking about that.
You're thinking about what.
Speaker.
Am I like overcoming obstacles?
Do I teach on specific topicsthat need to be lightened up
(06:24):
because it's so heavy?
I used to speak on collegecampuses about addiction and
assault heavy, but I would usehumor and I would set the
context in the beginning andsay, look, I'm going to tell
jokes because it's part of myhealing process, but I am making
fun of me, my family, myaddictions, my journey.
I would never make fun ofsomebody else.
(06:44):
I guess that's another point Iwanna say is we don't need mean
humor that is strictly for thecomedy clubs.
You never wanna be a meanspeaker.
People say, I'm a motivationalspeaker.
No.
It goes without saying, ifyou're a pro speaker, you should
automatically be motivational.
It's more about what do youspeak on, what kind of speaker
(07:07):
Motivation is just like a given.
And if you're not motivating.
You've got to get motivatingbecause that is a core element
and humor is a shortcut to getthere So so we talked about the
bumpers for a second So whileyou're playing in this new realm
of humor, I want you to thinkabout safe topics so we never
(07:31):
make fun of anybody else'sreligion or culture or
challenges Here are some safetopics, okay?
And, this is just the beginningsof a long conversation.
So if you're not sure what tothink about, you can always,
what's the deal between cats anddogs.
(07:53):
Think about if you could do acomparison, you could talk about
horrible food when you travel,you can talk about traffic, you
could talk about aging parentsraising kids, how hard it is to
be human.
There is so much to make fun ofwithout making fun of people.
(08:13):
Other people's, there's enoughright on in your life.
Okay.
So that is, we don't want to bebullies.
We don't need more mean humor.
We've got plenty of that.
And as a speaker, the last thingyou want to do is alienate
anybody in your crowd, right?
We want to draw a big inclusivenet.
(08:33):
That's why you're a speaker.
That's part of the game, unlessyou've been hired for one
specific I'm not talking aboutthat.
You want to think about safetopics.
Now, if you're I really want totry to write some stuff, that
can be challenging.
And if you're willing to do alittle bit of the work, it can
be awesome because the more thatyou can come out with something
(08:55):
specific to you, your journey,your topics, your life
experience, the moreauthentically it's going to land
with your audience.
And the less likely somebodyelse can feel it, right?
I'll never forget my aunt joke.
I do this aunt joke, I'd say Ilove being an aunt, but it's
(09:15):
expensive.
Last Christmas, I spent so muchmoney on my brother's kids
gifts.
You know what I got in return?
A picture of them in thebathtub.
So this year I'm giving them apicture of me on the toilet.
It's very silly and goofy.
And I was really attached tothis joke.
And I just thought it was, itwas a new comic and I was like,
(09:37):
this is my aunt stuff.
And then I heard somebody elsedo a very similar joke.
And then somebody said, Elaine,everybody has an aunt and uncle
joke like that.
And I was Oh, and so it's agreat lesson and check your ego
at the door and you want to beas authentic as you can within
(09:58):
reason.
And, you might hear similarjokes.
I guess what I'm saying is keepan open mind to it all.
Don't be mean.
There's plenty of stuff to makefun of.
Another thing I want you tothink about is.
What I call the rule of three,and this is great for any kind
of writing.
(10:18):
If you're a copywriter, whichyou should be working on that
too, as a speaker, as a coach,our brains love threes.
She was beautiful.
She was brilliant.
She was funny.
She was this.
She was that.
She was this.
Our brains like rules of three.
Once I've said this, you'regoing to notice it more.
(10:41):
In copies, in advertising, in somany things.
And a rule of three is a greattool when you're thinking about
writing some kind of joke.
Cause it's this, it's that.
So I'm going to give you anexample of misdirection.
Oh, New York city in the summer,ah, the sun on my face, the wind
(11:03):
on my back, the smell of peeeverywhere, which you could say
that about any city in Americaor maybe in the world.
So that's a great example.
It's, I use the rule of threesun on my face, one on my back.
And then I also usemisdirection.
We went a totally different way.
That you didn't see, right?
Smell of pee everywhere.
(11:25):
And it's a pattern interrupt.
It's, I took you, we went thisway, and then we went this way.
And there's a laugh because it'swhoa! And just playing with that
is a blast.
Start thinking about if youcould write What would that be
about?
What could you say?
(11:45):
Start thinking about what youcould make fun of about your
topic.
Your journey, your specificthing.
And another thing to think aboutis you could journal about
what's awkward.
What's awkward about this thingthat I do?
What's weird about this thingthat I do?
(12:08):
What's challenging about thisthing that I do?
Because isn't that what comedyis about?
It's about it's about awkwardmoments that we all have as
humans.
Right?
And.
Nate Borghese, I freaking thinkhe's brilliant.
If you have not seen his skit onSaturday night, live about
(12:31):
general Washington, goimmediately stop this and go
watch it and you will thank melater.
Oh my gosh.
I really love his style.
And he did this whole bit, howhe was like, Went for a hike
with a guy, and it wasn't reallya hike, and they were just
(12:52):
walking, and they were friends,but they didn't know each other
very well, and then he saw thisturtle, and he felt like he had
to say something, like he had tomake some observation about the
turtle, and he said something,and then his friend said, yeah,
(13:13):
turtles are cold blooded, andthen it was, there was this
like, awkward silence Of coursehe knew that, and he felt
embarrassed that his friendmaybe thought that he didn't
know that, but then he wasn'tsure if he was just trying to
make conversation.
(13:33):
And so then it was just likethis weird, awkward, silent walk
the rest of the way.
And then when I got back to hiscar, he's Hey man sorry about
the turtle stuff.
Anyway, the way he does it ishilarious.
And we laugh because he isspeaking about something we have
(13:56):
all done.
As human beings, when we saidsomething, we're like, that was,
why did I say that, we'renervous or we're under pressure
or, and it's such a human thingand we laugh because we can so
relate, right?
So that to me is a great exampleabout what awkward moments have
(14:18):
you had in your career at youroffice and other community?
events.
Where have you just been like,oh, why did I say that?
Why do I do that?
My thinking, right?
That is opportunity for humor.
So I know I'm hitting you with alot.
(14:40):
I get so excited talking aboutthis stuff.
I think it's so fun.
And I believe that anybody canlearn to be funnier.
We're not all going to bebrilliant geniuses like Richard
Pryor or Wanda Sykes or MariaBamford, but we can be funnier
as speakers.
So that's a lot for you to thinkabout.
(15:02):
There's a lot of homework inthere.
You can check out the shownotes, and I'm going to leave
you with this When I very firststarted comedy, people kept
saying, you're really funny.
And I was like, what do youmean?
I'm not funny.
I wanted to be the next MerylStreep.
I'm not trying to be funny.
I was so angry.
I was newly sober, new in NewYork city.
(15:22):
It was very challenging time.
It was very stressful.
I had to keep moving andtemping.
I was running out of money.
I was running around trying to.
Make a living and pursue acting.
And I knew two people and itwas, but people kept saying,
you're funny.
You're funny.
And I was like okay.
So when I was getting ready, Iwas taking like an improv class
(15:46):
and I had taken a one woman showworkshop at the pit people's
improv theater, and I wasgetting excited okay, maybe I'm
going to try this standup thing.
So I watched the Jerry Seinfeldmovie about him trying to come
back to stand up after his show,Seinfeld.
And I watched this movie and Isat there like this Oh my God,
(16:09):
like he was struggling with hisjokes.
He sat there with otherbrilliant comics and they
struggled with his jokes andthey tweaked.
And I didn't know that's justpart of the process.
But all I could see was, Oh myGod, if it's this hard for him,
who the hell am I?
And I remember I watched thatdocumentary and I did not sleep
(16:34):
that entire night.
My mind was racing because Ikept thinking, I think I'm
supposed to do this, but I thinkit's really hard, but I don't
really know.
It affected me so much.
I couldn't sleep.
I'm telling you this because Idon't want that to happen to
you.
And here's what I'm going to sayis.
(16:56):
You're not trying to be a standup comedian, at least not yet.
When people go to a comedy show,they're like this.
They cross their arms, they sitback, Make me laugh, clown! Go
ahead, make me laugh, right?
It's very much convince me, showme.
It's very, standoffish.
(17:17):
At least that's how it is on theEast Coast, for sure.
And When people are coming,expecting a speaker to come out
on stage, they are not expectingyou to be funny.
They are just hoping that you'renot going to suck because we
have all sat through those PTAmeetings or whatever where
(17:40):
you're like, I breathe like Iworry for people.
Do you ever do that where yousee somebody and you're like, oh
my god, are they gonna make it?
And this person, like they'rejust sweating.
They're swaying.
They're reading off the card.
They look like they're about to.
So much, they're going to turninto a puddle.
Those people that are like, arethey going to get through it?
I'm always worried for them andI breathe for them because I'm I
(18:01):
empathize because I've been aspeaker.
I've been that nervous beforeI've had my slides freeze and
things happen, right?
So when you come out on a stageor in a meeting and you're
halfway confident.
The audience is going to go, Oh,thank God.
I don't have to worry about thisperson.
(18:22):
They're literally going to sitback and be like, Oh, thank God.
I did not have to worry aboutthis person.
And so if you come out andyou're even the slightest bit
funny, even if you don't get alaugh, if you get a chuckle or a
smile, it's Whoa, And they'renot going to expect it.
(18:44):
So they're more likely tochuckle or smile or laugh.
So the bar is way lower.
So it is daunting to try to wantto add humor and it is beautiful
and brilliant.
And I'll leave you with onefinal thing that I learned in
(19:05):
Toastmasters, which is where Iwent when I very first started.
Cause I had been performing myentire life.
I've been on stage since thefourth grade, did my first movie
when I was 15, but I knew Ididn't know how to speak as
Elaine, the coach, themotivator, the facilitator.
I was used to doing actingstuff.
(19:26):
And so I went to Toastmasters topractice speaking as me.
And one of the sayings that Ilearned from Toastmasters and
NSA, National SpeakersAssociation, you don't have to
be funny to speak.
Only if you want to get paid andthat's a joke and it is a little
bit true.
And there's lots and lots ofways to add humor, lots of ways.
(19:51):
So we will go into this more.
This is going to be a wholeseries.
So thank you for listening.
If you found this helpful pleaseshare this with two more people.
Please rate, subscribe andreview because that's how the
podcast gets pushed out.
That's how more people find me.
My, my mission is to help healthe world one joke, one video,
(20:15):
one podcast episode at a time.
I had three addictions.
I'm an assault survivor,domestic violence survivor, and
I love helping the helpers.
And I believe that there is somuch possibility if we all had
coaches and people cheering uson.
And I know that you have a storyand you have something so
(20:35):
special to say that nobody elsedoes it like you.
And so I'm so glad that ourpaths have crossed.
And I can't wait to see you onthe screen or stage soon and
stay tuned because there's goingto be a whole lot more fun and
value and laughs.
Bye for now.
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