October 29, 2024 • 25 mins
This conversation was LIFE CHANGING for me! Jennifer and I spoke about collapsing Confidence with Worthiness. It was a true light bulb moment for me.
She's been a powerful stand for others and has had several successful podcasts.
You are going to LOVE this conversation!
Jennifer Loehding is a success architect, entrepreneur, and certified DreamBuilder Coach dedicated to guiding high-achieving individuals toward holistic success. With over 23 years of entrepreneurial experience, Jennifer helps her clients design sustainable frameworks that support both personal and professional growth. After excelling in the top 2% of a global cosmetic company for 15 years, she transitioned to a new path focused on health and well-being.
Jennifer's own journey is marked by resilience, as she overcame two rare health conditions and achieved remission without long-term medication. By incorporating daily habits that prioritize mental and physical well-being—through nutrition, exercise, and mindset practices—Jennifer has built a thriving, healthy life. She now shares these methods through her coaching and workshops to inspire others.
Jennifer offers a range of coaching programs, including individual and group coaching, as well as transformative workshops. Her programs integrate mind, body, and spirit, empowering clients to create lasting success in all areas of life.
In addition to her entrepreneurial ventures, Jennifer is a podcast host, motivational speaker, author, and passionate advocate for personal growth. Her work helps individuals reach their fullest potential while contributing positively to the world around them.
jenniferloehding.com
https://www.facebook.com/Loehdingblogger/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-loehding/
https://www.instagram.com/jenniferloehding
https://www.youtube.com/startergirlz
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Hi everybody.
Welcome.
Welcome.
This is Captivate the Mic withElaine Williams and I am here
with the fabulous and amazingJennifer Loding and she, oh my
god, I saw you in Speakonomics.
We both were speaking there inDallas and you have done so many
things, Jennifer.
So first of all, for being here.
(00:26):
Absolutely.
I'm excited to chat with youtoday, Elaine.
It's going to be fun.
Yeah.
And we got, I got to be on yourpodcast, over a year ago, you
have done, you call yourself asuccess architect, which I
absolutely love.
But for people who aren'tfamiliar with you, can you just
give us a list, a partial listof all the things?
(00:46):
Cause it's so much.
Yeah, it's fun.
It's funny because I know we'reall starting to use chat GPT now
for everything, and just to tellyou a little story about how I
came up with that, I wasinputting, I was trying to
figure out like, because whenI'm doing podcasts and I'm
bringing people on my show, I'mtrying to give like a bot.
Like who are they, who are thesepeople?
Some of them come to me with atitle.
(01:08):
And some of them will have 500things they do, and I have to
figure out how to narrow thatdown and find the main thing
that I want to put out there.
I was trying to do the samething for myself, because I have
all these certifications andthings that I do, and I feel
like I do a lot of differentthings.
They really hone in on onething, but there's a lot of
titles.
And I had, I went in one day andjust started putting in all
these things, and I'm like, giveme a name.
(01:30):
That would really sum up all ofthis.
And it came back with likesuccess, Maven and all of this.
And I'm like, I like successarchitect.
And yeah, so really what I do, Itell people is my main thing is
I work with women primarily, butI hope them.
overcome subconscious blocks.
I help them identify thosesubconscious blocks and then
(01:51):
help them release the emotionalties to them.
But I do that with a lot ofdifferent modalities.
I have a process that I workthrough, when people come to
you, you got to meet them wherethey are.
So I have a lot of tools thatmy, in my tool belt that I can
use.
And that's where all thosedifferent certifications come in
that helped me come up with thatcool success architect.
(02:11):
I love it.
And I know you've coached peopleon fitness you've overcome
health issues.
You're a mother of how many?
I have three.
Three and long marriage.
Like you're just a bad ass.
Yeah.
And I love that you're Oh, youknow what?
I'm going to go study this.
It's funny.
I'm right in the middle rightnow.
I'm doing a different psychologycourse.
(02:33):
I am a, I don't know if you'relike this, but I continually
like to learn things.
I really genuinely do.
And a lot of it I do is reallybecause I feel personally
responsible for how I show up inthe world.
And I think that the moreknowledge that I can bring in
and in truth be told, likeeverything I do, it's I tell
people, I have all these fancythings that I've done, but they
(02:54):
really, the reason I did themwork was about me.
I wanted to learn for myselfbecause I was either trying to
heal something, work onsomething, get better at
something.
And then I realized in theprocess of that, Hey, this was
pretty powerful in my world forme, and then I realized there
are probably other people thatare struggling with some of the
things that, you know, that I'vehad to learn to overcome.
(03:15):
And that's where that'smanifested into my work.
And so yeah, so I'm studying apsychology course right now.
It's funny cause I was doinglike a keto course and then I
had this supplement course andthe psychology course, and then
I'm in a mastermind and I waslike, Jennifer.
You got to breathe for a minute.
Just like down one thing at atime, I'm like, I resemble that
(03:37):
remark.
Yes, I can so relate because, Ihad three addictions.
I'm a sexual assault survivor,domestic violence survivor, and
I really probably had moreaddictions, but, three main
ones.
And I, but I always think themore I can heal myself, then the
greater I can serve even morepeople.
(03:58):
And like I just wrote a chapterfor a book and it's all about
how I internalized all the shamewhen I got into flipping houses
And 2008 and I was rehabbingthree of them when the economy
tanked and I got flipped so ButI know that women struggle We
both work with women primarilyas something will happen and so
(04:20):
many times we think it's Us.
Oh, I'm horrible at tech.
I suck at that.
And it's no, everybody hastrouble with tech.
You're not the only one.
So is there something you wantto talk about that you're really
excited about or something thatyou've been seeing like a, with
your clients lately or?
(04:41):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right now I'm actually one ofthe biggest things I'm excited
about.
It's, the certifications and allthose are great.
Cause I love doing the learningand But I am at the building
stage right now of actuallybuilding out this offer suite,
because I had worked with thismentor and I say worked, I've
had mentors, several of themover the years.
I was a Mary Kay for 20 years.
So I've had mentors probably myentire entrepreneurial career,
(05:03):
but I worked with another mentorfor two years that helped me put
together a big ticket, a highoffer course.
And.
I was so excited about thisthing when I got done with it.
And then I was like, Oh my gosh,what do I do with this thing?
It's a beast.
And it's like a 10, 000 program.
Who is going to buy a 10, 000program?
And I'm like, Oh, wait a minute.
(05:25):
Jennifer did this.
But then I had to think about,like where I was when I started
my journey, like who was thatperson, Jennifer, when she began
this journey 25 years ago as anentrepreneur and all the
investment that I've done overthe years, they didn't start at
10, 000 and started down here.
And it worked.
And so I recently joined amastermind.
(05:46):
I had completed a neurologicalfitness certification and the
gal that put that on was alsodoing a a mastermind for
coaches.
And so it was a minimalinvestment.
I was surprised because Ithought, this has probably been
one of my best value things thatI've been in.
But what's been really excitingabout it is she actually helped
me engineer that backwards forthe starting client coming into
(06:10):
this process and working thatall the way up to the high
ticket client.
And so I say all that to say,somebody listening to this goes,
what does all that mean?
What I will say when I sum allthat up, As I have worked for
years to figure out what exactlyit was that I was supposed to be
doing besides educating andinspiring, like what was the
(06:31):
message that I was trying toreally drive home the problem
that women, I know women arestruggling with and what am I
trying to solve?
And she helped me really getthat answer, like figure that
out.
And so when you asked me earlyon, like how we came up with
success architect, and I said, Ihelp women overcome subconscious
blocks.
It took me a while to figureout.
(06:51):
That's exactly what I've beendoing for years is helping women
bust through those things thatare keeping them paralyzed,
keeping them stuck in theirlives, their businesses,
whatever it is that they'retrying to do.
And helping them release thatand move forward.
And so that's what this wholething has been about.
And I think that's what I'mpretty excited about is getting
(07:11):
this thing launched.
Being actually able to step intowhat I feel like is my gift, my
genius.
And really help people get tothe root of their problem rather
than just slapping band aids andmasking symptoms.
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
I love it.
Yeah, I'm excited.
You can probably tell I'mpassionate about it.
(07:33):
So exciting.
And I, do you feel like that youhad some subconscious blocks
that you were bumping upagainst?
Oh yeah, I'm getting chillsright as you ask me that.
So many of them, so many ofthem.
Money.
I grew up in a house.
I love my parents.
But I grew up in a home where wehad a lot of toxicity growing
up, just a lot of issues wrappedaround money for me a lot of
(07:57):
issues around self worth.
And, I just recently interestingafter having all these years of.
Being in Mary Kay and being inleadership and having personal
development, and it really justgoing in one ear and out the
other.
I read a book by Jamie Kern Limarecently called Unworthy.
If you read it?
Yes.
No, that's unworthy.
Yes.
(08:17):
Okay.
One of the very first in thebeginning of the book, she talks
about the difference.
I don't know why I saidunworthy, but sidebar that
beginning of the book, she talksabout the difference between
confidence and self worth.
And if you think about this, Idon't know about you, but me.
I never knew those weredifferent until recently.
So here all these years I havebeen working on achievement
(08:40):
because I based my worth on allthe cool things that I could do,
all the achievements that Icould do.
That's how I was praised growingup.
If I did cool things.
I got praised for it.
If I didn't, I did it.
And so I felt the constant needto have to do all these
miraculous things, even at thestrain of my sanity, my, my
(09:00):
health, all of these things.
And then I read that chapter andit was like, this light bulb
went off.
I was like, Not that I hadn'talready come to this
realization, but it was in wordsfor me.
It was right there in wordswhere it was like, no, this is a
different thing.
Your worth does not come fromyour achievements.
Your worth comes from yourvalue, you valuing you.
(09:24):
And so I think for me, that'sjust been really like a huge.
Like eye opener for me and evengoing forward now and thinking
about everything I do.
Is this because I want to do itor is it because I think I need
an achievement?
You see what I'm saying?
It's, yeah it's just, yeah, it'sintense.
(09:44):
Thank you for being sovulnerable.
And you are so accomplished andthose, I have goosebumps, I'm
laughing because I wanted to dothe podcast to elevate other
women.
And because I love podcasting, Ilisten to podcasts all the time
when I'm doing my chores,running errands Folding clothes
or whatever.
It makes life way more fun fromthe mundane for me.
(10:07):
And what I'm laughing at is it'severy conversation I've had with
my guests.
I'm like, I needed to hear thattoday.
And I'm laughing.
So I wanted to do it for others,but clearly there's so much
here.
And I realized I just got an ahaof, I, I think a lot of my life,
(10:28):
I haven't.
Been seeking validation from allthe wrong places, like looking
for love and all, and you thinkof that too, yeah.
And there's, I'm a big 12stepper.
I'm in aa, I go to Al-Anon.
I've performed for NAconventions I love the 12 step
world and it's not perfect and Iknow for some people it doesn't
work, but for a lot of peopleit's saved millions of lives and
(10:50):
I've gotten to be in AA meetingsin Czechoslovakia and Vienna and
I saw an AA building when I wasin Costa Rica in August but one
of the things they talk about inSLAA is a lot of people say, I'm
a love addict.
I'm a fantasy addict, or I'm avalidation addict.
And when my friend was tellingme that, I was when you twitch,
(11:11):
like close to home a little bit.
And so I can I really think Ihad confidence and worth.
Collapsed until just now.
And I've been, I watched herbook launch, which was amazing.
And now I'm okay, cause somebodysent me her first book, when a
(11:33):
book keeps coming at me, I'mokay.
I'm going to, I get it.
I get it.
I'm going to order it today.
Yeah, I think.
I know for me, Jennifer, growingup, I did not feel worthy and I,
and whatever evidence you'relooking for, you're going to
find.
And I wasn't the pretty DallasCowboy cheerleader and I wasn't,
whatever.
(11:53):
And I, so I think I spent somuch of my life trying to almost
overachieve.
And I do love feelingproductive.
I love ticking things off mylist and, and I remember doing,
did you ever do mirror workwhere you look in the mirror and
you say, I love you with orwithout the man with or without
the comedy gig with or without,five pounds up or down, and I
(12:15):
think it's time for me to dosome more to wow.
It's a real the word theconfidence block that it's, it
can form an imposter syndrome.
There's a lot of differentthings, right?
And I think all of us struggle.
I think it would be foolish forus to say none of us ever deal
with any of this.
But I think, for me, it's been aprocess because I tell people
(12:35):
like what I am today.
I wasn't like this three yearsago.
I wasn't like this five yearsago.
I wasn't like this 10 years ago.
And I can almost assure youpeople That would tell you that
knew me when I was younger wouldbe like if they hadn't seen me
in this transition over theyears would be like that is not
even the same person, so I thinkit is a process and I think that
for me has come through thiscontinual learning.
(12:56):
And this continual need for selfimprovement, right?
But I, my self improvement questhas always really been about
finding peace for myself.
It's really been about justbeing okay with who I am.
And that's why I did a lot ofthis.
I tell people in the beginning,it all started when I wanted to
heal my health.
That's really what it was in thebeginning.
That was like in 2012 for me waslike, I don't know, maybe the
(13:19):
coming to Jesus moment where itwas like, I had no idea that was
going to be the mark that wasgoing to turn this into
directory.
But it was a quest to figure outwhy I was dealing with this.
disease.
Like, why did I get plagued withthis disease?
And it became about how do Isolve this problem?
I knew I was going to have tolive with it.
Okay, so now what do we do withit?
(13:40):
Because I'm not going to playvictim to this, right?
And then it really startedopening the doors up to how was
I contributing to thiscondition?
Like, how was I making thisworse or better?
And what role did I play inthat?
And I think that really has justsent me on this And so I think
(14:00):
that it's really important tounderstand that.
There is this.
Perpetual.
Like conquest to not only.
Understand myself and my place,but also understand the human
condition, why people do whatthey do.
And it's fun even in thatbecause I feel this mentor that
I had used to say that, which wethink is most personal as most
universal that we think we'reall have universal problems, but
really the core meanings behinda lot of the problems are really
(14:21):
universal.
If you think about it, we allwant love.
We all want certain things, andso if you start to really.
understand people and you watchthem and watch what they do and
what they say.
And over a period of time, youcan start finding patterns.
And if you hear that back, youcan really start getting back to
those blocks that we're talkingabout, whether it's a confidence
(14:42):
thing or it's a money block, or,there's all procrastination.
There's a lot of differentthings.
If you think aboutprocrastination, why do we do
that?
There's a reason we do it,right?
There's a self tied to it.
Yeah.
I always think it'sperfectionism.
Or I know, like I have troublewith organization and I know
that some of my trauma isdirectly related to that.
(15:02):
So it's, yeah, I think I love itbecause I feel like we're all on
this path and when we can worktogether, it's so much more fun.
Like what would it be like ifeverybody had a coach?
I know right people bullyingeach other or whatever the heck
people do, it's what would bepossible.
That's why I love coaching andmentoring so much because I
(15:25):
would be dead.
I would be dead without it.
I got to my choir director waslike a mother to me growing up
because my mother took off toEurope and my stepmother was
unfortunately was undiagnosedbipolar, lots of trauma from the
world war two.
And there was really nobody.
to advocate for me and she didShe saved my life because I
(15:46):
think I would have run away ifit hadn't been for her.
And I'm so happy that I got totell her that several times, but
especially right before shepassed.
You just never know the impactthat somebody can make, but yeah
I love it.
I can't I want to know all aboutyour high end thing when you
roll it out, this is soexciting.
(16:06):
Because I think we all have somekind of block.
Yeah, there's what is it?
new level?
New devil?
Yeah.
It's fun.
I'm building.
It's funny because here talkabout tech.
You mentioned tech a while ago.
Okay, so I'm building.
So the high ticket is built,right?
But now I'm doing the backwards.
I'm starting from the scratch atthe beginning.
(16:27):
So I'm building out this course,right?
Or excuse me this quiz, a freequiz right now that people are
going to be able to go to, toidentify their number one
subconscious block that'skeeping them stuck.
Now, obviously we typically havemore than one, but we're trying
to hone in on what's the big onethat's keeping you stuck.
And so I'm creating the quiz ontype four and I get into this
(16:48):
and I'm like, Oh my goodness,Elaine.
I'm like, okay, can I just,Either do this or tell me what
button to push because I'm likeI need help with the questions I
get that figured out then I'mlike, how do I do the quiz like
the variables?
Like how do I get the numberslined out and then I don't know
how to do the type form Oh mygoodness.
I had to get the chat GP to walkme through step by step how to
(17:13):
create the type form.
And then all of a sudden when itclicked, talk about moment, like
you talked, you have the ahamoment, it clicked.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, thisis stupid.
Yeah, it's it's just, yeah,technology.
There's always something new.
I always tell my students we'regonna laugh so that we don't
cry.
We're gonna laugh.
We gotta laugh.
We gotta laugh.
Do you want to tell us oneclient story that is just
(17:35):
something that you just love?
Yes, I do have a really awesomeone.
Okay.
So most of us are old enough toremember the karate kid.
And I always talk about thisstory kind of being like that.
We didn't do any martial artsand we're not, Doing any
physical activity, but I have agirl that I have been working
with since probably thebeginning of COVID.
I think she came in around 2019.
She's the same age as my oldestalmost like their same month,
(17:57):
same year, everything.
She had reached out to me in2019.
I think it was right the week ofChristmas.
In fact, she's in Spain.
She's originally from Russia,moved into Spain.
And she was looking for a coach.
She had found me on a platform.
And at that time she had just, Ithink, had a hostel.
And when COVID hit, had to shutit down and then started an
online.
(18:18):
designer bag business and so shewas, she came to me and I just
remember she was upset becauseshe, something had happened.
I can't remember whatspecifically in her personal
life, but one of the things shewas struggling with was she said
that every time something wouldhappen that was big in her
personal life, it would shut herdown in her business.
She would just emotionally godown.
Long story short, I'm going tofast forward this a little bit
(18:40):
because I'm still working withher.
She's on a, what they callholiday right now.
So she's gone traveling.
But we had during the course ofthis training in the beginning,
we were working a lot on thesesuccess habits.
And these were habits that I hadimplemented.
In my life to turn around minebecause I had was struggling
with a lot of the same things Iwould go into depression for a
long time.
(19:00):
I would get into these what Icall hyper funks And I couldn't
really figure out was it likehormonal was I now know that it
was probably diet hormones Itwas a lot of different things a
lot of negative influences in mylife But I would shut down and I
couldn't function for like weeksand then one day I'd just wake
up and i'd be out of it Again,and then I'd pay for what the
next one was gonna come, right?
You And so anyways, in thebeginning with her, I started
(19:22):
really just working on thesesuccess habits that I had
implemented in my life.
And I remember her telling me somany times, she's I'm lazy, I'm
not going to do these.
And I would be like, no, you'renot lazy.
You just don't see theimportance of this yet.
And so we just kept stickingwith it, kept sticking with it.
And we would talk about and I'ma big fan of sustainable change.
(19:44):
So I don't believe in doing alot of things at one time.
I think we start small withsomething and build that up, get
you some wins and then move on.
So we stuck with it.
Now here's the fun thing.
Let's fast forward into 2024.
I met with her at the beginningof the year and I remember her
telling me she was like in 2023she had her best year.
That year she had a flat thatshe had bought in Spain and was
(20:05):
setting it up on Airbnb to getit, to rent it out.
She had traveled to Dubai thatyear, to India that year.
She had a poker trainer.
She was taking private horselessons.
She had been to Kenya on asafari.
She was made, doing incredible.
And I'm talking, we're talkingin excess of thousands here in
her business.
Month after month, she was doingreally well.
And I remember having thisconversation and she was like, I
(20:27):
had my best year ever.
And she said, I think, like itwas all those things that we had
put into action.
It just took us a while for herto actually start realizing that
when she wasn't doing thesethings, they were all, affecting
her negatively.
And so it's funny because nowshe's got this little routine
and system in place, and whenshe deviates from it, she
(20:50):
realizes that.
No, I need to get back on track.
And so she's had an incrediblejourney and it's been fun to
watch her growth.
It's almost been like thislittle prodigy child, so to
speak, that I've been coachingand watching her evolve as a
human being and into thissuccessful business owner.
That's amazing.
(21:10):
Oh, I love it.
I love it so much.
Yeah.
I, it's always a million tinysteps and sometimes we don't
realize they can add up.
They can also.
Veer us off if we keep going.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
She's not the normal, Elaine,because a lot of people.
In coaching you, you know this'cause you're working with
(21:30):
people.
If they don't always see thingsimmediately happen, they start
to believe things don't work andsometimes it takes a while.
It's the way I put this, andthis will make sense to your
people, if you think about theirstages of learning things, we
have what we call likeunconscious incompetence.
And then we have, conscious, itgoes all the way up when you
(21:51):
drive a car.
We don't think anything drivinga car because that is an
unconscious competent activity.
Brushing our teeth is anunconscious competent activity,
but we've done it for a while.
We have done this for a longtime that we no longer have to
think about it.
A lot of times we start thingsand we think that we should
immediately adopt them into ourlife.
It should be easy for us.
(22:12):
But it doesn't work that way.
It actually don't.
Yeah, it's three to four yearsto build an unconscious
competent habit.
So when we talk about these 30day habits in these 90 days,
Yeah, they're gonna work, butyou're there's a good chance if
you break off, you're going tofall off.
Okay, because you got to bethinking it takes time to build
(22:33):
these habits before they becometo a place where you just get up
in the morning like I do with myworkout and go.
I'm working out today.
I don't negotiate it.
It's part of my life.
It's just part of it.
I love it.
I love it, Jennifer.
And I love your speaking.
You have such a great pace.
You have vocal variety.
I love how you pause.
You painted the pictures.
(22:54):
I, part of me is I can't wait tosee you on a stage.
Taking up more space and maybeeven adding, sometimes it's nice
to have dramatic pauses incertain stories, but you're just
fabulous.
How long have you been doingyour podcast So I started the
starter girls in 2019.
So again, right before COVIDhit.
(23:16):
And and then I had that, that,Show has taken many twists and
turns.
It was originally two ex MaryKay sales directors all about
empowering the femaleentrepreneur.
And then it was funny becauseyou're probably like, I am, I
found that I was also, I getalong with men very well.
Like I just can, I can be thatoptimist practical person, and
(23:37):
so I was like.
Dude, I want to bring men on theshow and interview them too.
And so we've had a lot of twistsand turns and that's why you
probably saw that I had thebehind the dreamers come out
because we bridged a new showand decided to take a more
neutral, stance on it.
And then I finally just decidedthis past year that You know,
(23:59):
starter girls is where the brandis.
It's where we built it.
People like it.
It's a cute logo.
It just sparks like theconversation of what is that all
about?
And so I hybrided those backtogether.
And so now it's still aboutempowering women, but I bring
men on cause we're celebratingdreamers too.
And so I bring them in and Ifeel like what they have to
(24:21):
offer, some of it is relevant tous as well in the business
world.
And so yeah, I'm having fun withthat, with the show now.
I love it.
I love it.
So if people want to find you,where is the best place to send
them?
Yeah, you can, I would say go tomy main page, which is the
jenniferloading.
com.
I'm assuming you'll put someshow notes in there.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
(24:41):
With all your stuff.
Yeah, just that's the main hubpage.
I have pages for the startergirls and all of that, but if
you go to that will direct youto all of my work.
And awesome.
Thank you so much for taking thetime out of your busy schedule.
And I needed to hear exactlywhat you had to say today.
So I can't thank you enough.
And yeah, make sure everybodyfollow her.
(25:02):
Cause she's moving and shaking.
She's going lots of cool places.
Thank you so much, Jennifer.
Thank you, Elaine.
Appreciate you.
Hi everybody.
Welcome.
Welcome.
This is Captivate the Mic withElaine Williams and I am here
with the fabulous and amazingJennifer Loding and she, oh my
god, I saw you in Speakonomics.
We both were speaking there inDallas and you have done so many
things, Jennifer.
So first of all, for being here.
(00:26):
Absolutely.
I'm excited to chat with youtoday, Elaine.
It's going to be fun.
Yeah.
And we got, I got to be on yourpodcast, over a year ago, you
have done, you call yourself asuccess architect, which I
absolutely love.
But for people who aren'tfamiliar with you, can you just
give us a list, a partial listof all the things?
(00:46):
Cause it's so much.
Yeah, it's fun.
It's funny because I know we'reall starting to use chat GPT now
for everything, and just to tellyou a little story about how I
came up with that, I wasinputting, I was trying to
figure out like, because whenI'm doing podcasts and I'm
bringing people on my show, I'mtrying to give like a bot.
Like who are they, who are thesepeople?
Some of them come to me with atitle.
(01:08):
And some of them will have 500things they do, and I have to
figure out how to narrow thatdown and find the main thing
that I want to put out there.
I was trying to do the samething for myself, because I have
all these certifications andthings that I do, and I feel
like I do a lot of differentthings.
They really hone in on onething, but there's a lot of
titles.
And I had, I went in one day andjust started putting in all
these things, and I'm like, giveme a name.
(01:30):
That would really sum up all ofthis.
And it came back with likesuccess, Maven and all of this.
And I'm like, I like successarchitect.
And yeah, so really what I do, Itell people is my main thing is
I work with women primarily, butI hope them.
overcome subconscious blocks.
I help them identify thosesubconscious blocks and then
(01:51):
help them release the emotionalties to them.
But I do that with a lot ofdifferent modalities.
I have a process that I workthrough, when people come to
you, you got to meet them wherethey are.
So I have a lot of tools thatmy, in my tool belt that I can
use.
And that's where all thosedifferent certifications come in
that helped me come up with thatcool success architect.
(02:11):
I love it.
And I know you've coached peopleon fitness you've overcome
health issues.
You're a mother of how many?
I have three.
Three and long marriage.
Like you're just a bad ass.
Yeah.
And I love that you're Oh, youknow what?
I'm going to go study this.
It's funny.
I'm right in the middle rightnow.
I'm doing a different psychologycourse.
(02:33):
I am a, I don't know if you'relike this, but I continually
like to learn things.
I really genuinely do.
And a lot of it I do is reallybecause I feel personally
responsible for how I show up inthe world.
And I think that the moreknowledge that I can bring in
and in truth be told, likeeverything I do, it's I tell
people, I have all these fancythings that I've done, but they
(02:54):
really, the reason I did themwork was about me.
I wanted to learn for myselfbecause I was either trying to
heal something, work onsomething, get better at
something.
And then I realized in theprocess of that, Hey, this was
pretty powerful in my world forme, and then I realized there
are probably other people thatare struggling with some of the
things that, you know, that I'vehad to learn to overcome.
(03:15):
And that's where that'smanifested into my work.
And so yeah, so I'm studying apsychology course right now.
It's funny cause I was doinglike a keto course and then I
had this supplement course andthe psychology course, and then
I'm in a mastermind and I waslike, Jennifer.
You got to breathe for a minute.
Just like down one thing at atime, I'm like, I resemble that
(03:37):
remark.
Yes, I can so relate because, Ihad three addictions.
I'm a sexual assault survivor,domestic violence survivor, and
I really probably had moreaddictions, but, three main
ones.
And I, but I always think themore I can heal myself, then the
greater I can serve even morepeople.
(03:58):
And like I just wrote a chapterfor a book and it's all about
how I internalized all the shamewhen I got into flipping houses
And 2008 and I was rehabbingthree of them when the economy
tanked and I got flipped so ButI know that women struggle We
both work with women primarilyas something will happen and so
(04:20):
many times we think it's Us.
Oh, I'm horrible at tech.
I suck at that.
And it's no, everybody hastrouble with tech.
You're not the only one.
So is there something you wantto talk about that you're really
excited about or something thatyou've been seeing like a, with
your clients lately or?
(04:41):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right now I'm actually one ofthe biggest things I'm excited
about.
It's, the certifications and allthose are great.
Cause I love doing the learningand But I am at the building
stage right now of actuallybuilding out this offer suite,
because I had worked with thismentor and I say worked, I've
had mentors, several of themover the years.
I was a Mary Kay for 20 years.
So I've had mentors probably myentire entrepreneurial career,
(05:03):
but I worked with another mentorfor two years that helped me put
together a big ticket, a highoffer course.
And.
I was so excited about thisthing when I got done with it.
And then I was like, Oh my gosh,what do I do with this thing?
It's a beast.
And it's like a 10, 000 program.
Who is going to buy a 10, 000program?
And I'm like, Oh, wait a minute.
(05:25):
Jennifer did this.
But then I had to think about,like where I was when I started
my journey, like who was thatperson, Jennifer, when she began
this journey 25 years ago as anentrepreneur and all the
investment that I've done overthe years, they didn't start at
10, 000 and started down here.
And it worked.
And so I recently joined amastermind.
(05:46):
I had completed a neurologicalfitness certification and the
gal that put that on was alsodoing a a mastermind for
coaches.
And so it was a minimalinvestment.
I was surprised because Ithought, this has probably been
one of my best value things thatI've been in.
But what's been really excitingabout it is she actually helped
me engineer that backwards forthe starting client coming into
(06:10):
this process and working thatall the way up to the high
ticket client.
And so I say all that to say,somebody listening to this goes,
what does all that mean?
What I will say when I sum allthat up, As I have worked for
years to figure out what exactlyit was that I was supposed to be
doing besides educating andinspiring, like what was the
(06:31):
message that I was trying toreally drive home the problem
that women, I know women arestruggling with and what am I
trying to solve?
And she helped me really getthat answer, like figure that
out.
And so when you asked me earlyon, like how we came up with
success architect, and I said, Ihelp women overcome subconscious
blocks.
It took me a while to figureout.
(06:51):
That's exactly what I've beendoing for years is helping women
bust through those things thatare keeping them paralyzed,
keeping them stuck in theirlives, their businesses,
whatever it is that they'retrying to do.
And helping them release thatand move forward.
And so that's what this wholething has been about.
And I think that's what I'mpretty excited about is getting
(07:11):
this thing launched.
Being actually able to step intowhat I feel like is my gift, my
genius.
And really help people get tothe root of their problem rather
than just slapping band aids andmasking symptoms.
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
I love it.
Yeah, I'm excited.
You can probably tell I'mpassionate about it.
(07:33):
So exciting.
And I, do you feel like that youhad some subconscious blocks
that you were bumping upagainst?
Oh yeah, I'm getting chillsright as you ask me that.
So many of them, so many ofthem.
Money.
I grew up in a house.
I love my parents.
But I grew up in a home where wehad a lot of toxicity growing
up, just a lot of issues wrappedaround money for me a lot of
(07:57):
issues around self worth.
And, I just recently interestingafter having all these years of.
Being in Mary Kay and being inleadership and having personal
development, and it really justgoing in one ear and out the
other.
I read a book by Jamie Kern Limarecently called Unworthy.
If you read it?
Yes.
No, that's unworthy.
Yes.
(08:17):
Okay.
One of the very first in thebeginning of the book, she talks
about the difference.
I don't know why I saidunworthy, but sidebar that
beginning of the book, she talksabout the difference between
confidence and self worth.
And if you think about this, Idon't know about you, but me.
I never knew those weredifferent until recently.
So here all these years I havebeen working on achievement
(08:40):
because I based my worth on allthe cool things that I could do,
all the achievements that Icould do.
That's how I was praised growingup.
If I did cool things.
I got praised for it.
If I didn't, I did it.
And so I felt the constant needto have to do all these
miraculous things, even at thestrain of my sanity, my, my
(09:00):
health, all of these things.
And then I read that chapter andit was like, this light bulb
went off.
I was like, Not that I hadn'talready come to this
realization, but it was in wordsfor me.
It was right there in wordswhere it was like, no, this is a
different thing.
Your worth does not come fromyour achievements.
Your worth comes from yourvalue, you valuing you.
(09:24):
And so I think for me, that'sjust been really like a huge.
Like eye opener for me and evengoing forward now and thinking
about everything I do.
Is this because I want to do itor is it because I think I need
an achievement?
You see what I'm saying?
It's, yeah it's just, yeah, it'sintense.
(09:44):
Thank you for being sovulnerable.
And you are so accomplished andthose, I have goosebumps, I'm
laughing because I wanted to dothe podcast to elevate other
women.
And because I love podcasting, Ilisten to podcasts all the time
when I'm doing my chores,running errands Folding clothes
or whatever.
It makes life way more fun fromthe mundane for me.
(10:07):
And what I'm laughing at is it'severy conversation I've had with
my guests.
I'm like, I needed to hear thattoday.
And I'm laughing.
So I wanted to do it for others,but clearly there's so much
here.
And I realized I just got an ahaof, I, I think a lot of my life,
(10:28):
I haven't.
Been seeking validation from allthe wrong places, like looking
for love and all, and you thinkof that too, yeah.
And there's, I'm a big 12stepper.
I'm in aa, I go to Al-Anon.
I've performed for NAconventions I love the 12 step
world and it's not perfect and Iknow for some people it doesn't
work, but for a lot of peopleit's saved millions of lives and
(10:50):
I've gotten to be in AA meetingsin Czechoslovakia and Vienna and
I saw an AA building when I wasin Costa Rica in August but one
of the things they talk about inSLAA is a lot of people say, I'm
a love addict.
I'm a fantasy addict, or I'm avalidation addict.
And when my friend was tellingme that, I was when you twitch,
(11:11):
like close to home a little bit.
And so I can I really think Ihad confidence and worth.
Collapsed until just now.
And I've been, I watched herbook launch, which was amazing.
And now I'm okay, cause somebodysent me her first book, when a
(11:33):
book keeps coming at me, I'mokay.
I'm going to, I get it.
I get it.
I'm going to order it today.
Yeah, I think.
I know for me, Jennifer, growingup, I did not feel worthy and I,
and whatever evidence you'relooking for, you're going to
find.
And I wasn't the pretty DallasCowboy cheerleader and I wasn't,
whatever.
(11:53):
And I, so I think I spent somuch of my life trying to almost
overachieve.
And I do love feelingproductive.
I love ticking things off mylist and, and I remember doing,
did you ever do mirror workwhere you look in the mirror and
you say, I love you with orwithout the man with or without
the comedy gig with or without,five pounds up or down, and I
(12:15):
think it's time for me to dosome more to wow.
It's a real the word theconfidence block that it's, it
can form an imposter syndrome.
There's a lot of differentthings, right?
And I think all of us struggle.
I think it would be foolish forus to say none of us ever deal
with any of this.
But I think, for me, it's been aprocess because I tell people
(12:35):
like what I am today.
I wasn't like this three yearsago.
I wasn't like this five yearsago.
I wasn't like this 10 years ago.
And I can almost assure youpeople That would tell you that
knew me when I was younger wouldbe like if they hadn't seen me
in this transition over theyears would be like that is not
even the same person, so I thinkit is a process and I think that
for me has come through thiscontinual learning.
(12:56):
And this continual need for selfimprovement, right?
But I, my self improvement questhas always really been about
finding peace for myself.
It's really been about justbeing okay with who I am.
And that's why I did a lot ofthis.
I tell people in the beginning,it all started when I wanted to
heal my health.
That's really what it was in thebeginning.
That was like in 2012 for me waslike, I don't know, maybe the
(13:19):
coming to Jesus moment where itwas like, I had no idea that was
going to be the mark that wasgoing to turn this into
directory.
But it was a quest to figure outwhy I was dealing with this.
disease.
Like, why did I get plagued withthis disease?
And it became about how do Isolve this problem?
I knew I was going to have tolive with it.
Okay, so now what do we do withit?
(13:40):
Because I'm not going to playvictim to this, right?
And then it really startedopening the doors up to how was
I contributing to thiscondition?
Like, how was I making thisworse or better?
And what role did I play inthat?
And I think that really has justsent me on this And so I think
(14:00):
that it's really important tounderstand that.
There is this.
Perpetual.
Like conquest to not only.
Understand myself and my place,but also understand the human
condition, why people do whatthey do.
And it's fun even in thatbecause I feel this mentor that
I had used to say that, which wethink is most personal as most
universal that we think we'reall have universal problems, but
really the core meanings behinda lot of the problems are really
(14:21):
universal.
If you think about it, we allwant love.
We all want certain things, andso if you start to really.
understand people and you watchthem and watch what they do and
what they say.
And over a period of time, youcan start finding patterns.
And if you hear that back, youcan really start getting back to
those blocks that we're talkingabout, whether it's a confidence
(14:42):
thing or it's a money block, or,there's all procrastination.
There's a lot of differentthings.
If you think aboutprocrastination, why do we do
that?
There's a reason we do it,right?
There's a self tied to it.
Yeah.
I always think it'sperfectionism.
Or I know, like I have troublewith organization and I know
that some of my trauma isdirectly related to that.
(15:02):
So it's, yeah, I think I love itbecause I feel like we're all on
this path and when we can worktogether, it's so much more fun.
Like what would it be like ifeverybody had a coach?
I know right people bullyingeach other or whatever the heck
people do, it's what would bepossible.
That's why I love coaching andmentoring so much because I
(15:25):
would be dead.
I would be dead without it.
I got to my choir director waslike a mother to me growing up
because my mother took off toEurope and my stepmother was
unfortunately was undiagnosedbipolar, lots of trauma from the
world war two.
And there was really nobody.
to advocate for me and she didShe saved my life because I
(15:46):
think I would have run away ifit hadn't been for her.
And I'm so happy that I got totell her that several times, but
especially right before shepassed.
You just never know the impactthat somebody can make, but yeah
I love it.
I can't I want to know all aboutyour high end thing when you
roll it out, this is soexciting.
(16:06):
Because I think we all have somekind of block.
Yeah, there's what is it?
new level?
New devil?
Yeah.
It's fun.
I'm building.
It's funny because here talkabout tech.
You mentioned tech a while ago.
Okay, so I'm building.
So the high ticket is built,right?
But now I'm doing the backwards.
I'm starting from the scratch atthe beginning.
(16:27):
So I'm building out this course,right?
Or excuse me this quiz, a freequiz right now that people are
going to be able to go to, toidentify their number one
subconscious block that'skeeping them stuck.
Now, obviously we typically havemore than one, but we're trying
to hone in on what's the big onethat's keeping you stuck.
And so I'm creating the quiz ontype four and I get into this
(16:48):
and I'm like, Oh my goodness,Elaine.
I'm like, okay, can I just,Either do this or tell me what
button to push because I'm likeI need help with the questions I
get that figured out then I'mlike, how do I do the quiz like
the variables?
Like how do I get the numberslined out and then I don't know
how to do the type form Oh mygoodness.
I had to get the chat GP to walkme through step by step how to
(17:13):
create the type form.
And then all of a sudden when itclicked, talk about moment, like
you talked, you have the ahamoment, it clicked.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, thisis stupid.
Yeah, it's it's just, yeah,technology.
There's always something new.
I always tell my students we'regonna laugh so that we don't
cry.
We're gonna laugh.
We gotta laugh.
We gotta laugh.
Do you want to tell us oneclient story that is just
(17:35):
something that you just love?
Yes, I do have a really awesomeone.
Okay.
So most of us are old enough toremember the karate kid.
And I always talk about thisstory kind of being like that.
We didn't do any martial artsand we're not, Doing any
physical activity, but I have agirl that I have been working
with since probably thebeginning of COVID.
I think she came in around 2019.
She's the same age as my oldestalmost like their same month,
(17:57):
same year, everything.
She had reached out to me in2019.
I think it was right the week ofChristmas.
In fact, she's in Spain.
She's originally from Russia,moved into Spain.
And she was looking for a coach.
She had found me on a platform.
And at that time she had just, Ithink, had a hostel.
And when COVID hit, had to shutit down and then started an
online.
(18:18):
designer bag business and so shewas, she came to me and I just
remember she was upset becauseshe, something had happened.
I can't remember whatspecifically in her personal
life, but one of the things shewas struggling with was she said
that every time something wouldhappen that was big in her
personal life, it would shut herdown in her business.
She would just emotionally godown.
Long story short, I'm going tofast forward this a little bit
(18:40):
because I'm still working withher.
She's on a, what they callholiday right now.
So she's gone traveling.
But we had during the course ofthis training in the beginning,
we were working a lot on thesesuccess habits.
And these were habits that I hadimplemented.
In my life to turn around minebecause I had was struggling
with a lot of the same things Iwould go into depression for a
long time.
(19:00):
I would get into these what Icall hyper funks And I couldn't
really figure out was it likehormonal was I now know that it
was probably diet hormones Itwas a lot of different things a
lot of negative influences in mylife But I would shut down and I
couldn't function for like weeksand then one day I'd just wake
up and i'd be out of it Again,and then I'd pay for what the
next one was gonna come, right?
You And so anyways, in thebeginning with her, I started
(19:22):
really just working on thesesuccess habits that I had
implemented in my life.
And I remember her telling me somany times, she's I'm lazy, I'm
not going to do these.
And I would be like, no, you'renot lazy.
You just don't see theimportance of this yet.
And so we just kept stickingwith it, kept sticking with it.
And we would talk about and I'ma big fan of sustainable change.
(19:44):
So I don't believe in doing alot of things at one time.
I think we start small withsomething and build that up, get
you some wins and then move on.
So we stuck with it.
Now here's the fun thing.
Let's fast forward into 2024.
I met with her at the beginningof the year and I remember her
telling me she was like in 2023she had her best year.
That year she had a flat thatshe had bought in Spain and was
(20:05):
setting it up on Airbnb to getit, to rent it out.
She had traveled to Dubai thatyear, to India that year.
She had a poker trainer.
She was taking private horselessons.
She had been to Kenya on asafari.
She was made, doing incredible.
And I'm talking, we're talkingin excess of thousands here in
her business.
Month after month, she was doingreally well.
And I remember having thisconversation and she was like, I
(20:27):
had my best year ever.
And she said, I think, like itwas all those things that we had
put into action.
It just took us a while for herto actually start realizing that
when she wasn't doing thesethings, they were all, affecting
her negatively.
And so it's funny because nowshe's got this little routine
and system in place, and whenshe deviates from it, she
(20:50):
realizes that.
No, I need to get back on track.
And so she's had an incrediblejourney and it's been fun to
watch her growth.
It's almost been like thislittle prodigy child, so to
speak, that I've been coachingand watching her evolve as a
human being and into thissuccessful business owner.
That's amazing.
(21:10):
Oh, I love it.
I love it so much.
Yeah.
I, it's always a million tinysteps and sometimes we don't
realize they can add up.
They can also.
Veer us off if we keep going.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
She's not the normal, Elaine,because a lot of people.
In coaching you, you know this'cause you're working with
(21:30):
people.
If they don't always see thingsimmediately happen, they start
to believe things don't work andsometimes it takes a while.
It's the way I put this, andthis will make sense to your
people, if you think about theirstages of learning things, we
have what we call likeunconscious incompetence.
And then we have, conscious, itgoes all the way up when you
(21:51):
drive a car.
We don't think anything drivinga car because that is an
unconscious competent activity.
Brushing our teeth is anunconscious competent activity,
but we've done it for a while.
We have done this for a longtime that we no longer have to
think about it.
A lot of times we start thingsand we think that we should
immediately adopt them into ourlife.
It should be easy for us.
(22:12):
But it doesn't work that way.
It actually don't.
Yeah, it's three to four yearsto build an unconscious
competent habit.
So when we talk about these 30day habits in these 90 days,
Yeah, they're gonna work, butyou're there's a good chance if
you break off, you're going tofall off.
Okay, because you got to bethinking it takes time to build
(22:33):
these habits before they becometo a place where you just get up
in the morning like I do with myworkout and go.
I'm working out today.
I don't negotiate it.
It's part of my life.
It's just part of it.
I love it.
I love it, Jennifer.
And I love your speaking.
You have such a great pace.
You have vocal variety.
I love how you pause.
You painted the pictures.
(22:54):
I, part of me is I can't wait tosee you on a stage.
Taking up more space and maybeeven adding, sometimes it's nice
to have dramatic pauses incertain stories, but you're just
fabulous.
How long have you been doingyour podcast So I started the
starter girls in 2019.
So again, right before COVIDhit.
(23:16):
And and then I had that, that,Show has taken many twists and
turns.
It was originally two ex MaryKay sales directors all about
empowering the femaleentrepreneur.
And then it was funny becauseyou're probably like, I am, I
found that I was also, I getalong with men very well.
Like I just can, I can be thatoptimist practical person, and
(23:37):
so I was like.
Dude, I want to bring men on theshow and interview them too.
And so we've had a lot of twistsand turns and that's why you
probably saw that I had thebehind the dreamers come out
because we bridged a new showand decided to take a more
neutral, stance on it.
And then I finally just decidedthis past year that You know,
(23:59):
starter girls is where the brandis.
It's where we built it.
People like it.
It's a cute logo.
It just sparks like theconversation of what is that all
about?
And so I hybrided those backtogether.
And so now it's still aboutempowering women, but I bring
men on cause we're celebratingdreamers too.
And so I bring them in and Ifeel like what they have to
(24:21):
offer, some of it is relevant tous as well in the business
world.
And so yeah, I'm having fun withthat, with the show now.
I love it.
I love it.
So if people want to find you,where is the best place to send
them?
Yeah, you can, I would say go tomy main page, which is the
jenniferloading.
com.
I'm assuming you'll put someshow notes in there.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
(24:41):
With all your stuff.
Yeah, just that's the main hubpage.
I have pages for the startergirls and all of that, but if
you go to that will direct youto all of my work.
And awesome.
Thank you so much for taking thetime out of your busy schedule.
And I needed to hear exactlywhat you had to say today.
So I can't thank you enough.
And yeah, make sure everybodyfollow her.
(25:02):
Cause she's moving and shaking.
She's going lots of cool places.
Thank you so much, Jennifer.
Thank you, Elaine.
Appreciate you.
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