April 22, 2025 • 43 mins
📝 SHOW NOTES:
In this heartfelt and wildly inspiring episode of Captivate the Mic, Elaine sits down with her brilliant, badass cousin Melissa Williams—a 10-time world champion equestrian, ranch owner, and lifelong horse whisperer.
Melissa shares jaw-dropping stories from the show ring (think Olympic-level Saddlebreds and flying horses on “Air Force One” 🐴✈️), growing up with horses in Canada, and what it really takes to compete—and win—at the highest levels.
But this conversation is more than trophies and ribbons.
It’s about:
- How the messiest moments shape the strongest leaders
- Why horses are powerful mirrors for how we show up in life and leadership
- The deeply healing and intuitive connection between women and horses
- And the incredible leadership retreat Elaine and Melissa are co-hosting in May!
Together, they’re bringing their wisdom, humor, and heart to a transformational 4-day retreat for women leaders ready to step into deeper authenticity, clarity, and power—guided by horses, nature, and their own embodied presence.
✨ This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered:
- What horses can teach us about leadership and emotional intelligence
- Why authenticity beats perfection every time
- What it feels like to lose… and come back stronger
- How to lead from your presence—not your performance
📅 Interested in the retreat?
It’s happening May 7-10, 2025 at Melissa’s breathtaking ranch in California.
🌄 Horses. Leadership. Nervous system resets. Real transformation.
🎥 Watch for Q&As and sneak peeks on YouTube and social
🐎 Connect with Melissa:
Want to know more about Melissa, her ranch, or her powerhouse real estate and production work? Check the links in the show notes below.
🧲 P.S. If you’re an expert who knows you need to be more visible—especially on video—Elaine can help you create short, powerful content that captivates and converts. Let’s chat!
📌 Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro & Melissa’s hilarious “no pressure” welcome
06:45 – Growing up with horses (and surviving Alberta winters)
13:20 – Lessons in discipline, heartbreak, and winning
27:50 – Saddlebred history & battle moves on horseback
36:00 – The healing power of horses & emotional attunement
48:10 – Flying horses, million-dollar show rings & Louisville
1:08:15 – From failure to world champion: Melissa’s comeback story
1:16:00 – A sneak peek at the Leadership + Horse Whispering Retreat
1:24:00 – Why this experience will shift how you lead forever
Connect with your Host, Elaine Williams:
Check out Captivate the Mic Podcast on Elaine's YouTube Channel
Check out the Captivate the Crowd Website
Follow Elaine on Social- LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok
Want to schedule a free chat with Elaine? Click here to book a zoom date!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome to Captivate the Micwith Elaine Williams.
I think you are going to lovethis episode where I interview
my cousin, Melissa Williams, whois a 10 times world champion
it's going to be all the things.
And we're doing a, leadershipwomen's retreat in May at her
beautiful, Ranch in California,and I'm just delighted.
(00:28):
It's so fun to hear her storiesand to learn even more about her
badassness.
And I think you're going to lovethis episode.
So please enjoy.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to captivate the mic.
I'm here with my beautiful,brilliant, talented,
ridiculously powerful cousin,Melissa Williams.
(00:48):
Melissa.
Hello.
No pressure introduction.
What, what's left to say?
I know sometimes it's Like Iused to have these long intros
before comedy and they're like,maybe you don't want to say all
those credits, it's there's alot of pressure.
So it makes me think of, andhere's Daenerys Stormborn,
Targaryen, mother of dragonsbreaker of chains.
(01:09):
Is that crown of thorns orwhatever or game of thrones?
That's right.
I only caught a little bit ofit, but when I was in Croatia, I
was like, Oh my God, I have towatch it now.
Anyway, I'm so excited to haveyou on the podcast.
And I'm so excited because youand I are working on the most
amazing.
Dynamic, fabulous retreatleadership program.
(01:33):
So there's so many wonderfulthings about it.
It's hard to capture it in.
It is.
And everyone might talk aboutit.
Yeah.
People are like, give me thelink.
We will get that to you ASAP.
I thought, you know what?
Let me introduce you to people.
Some people watch on YouTube.
Some people are just going tolisten.
(01:54):
And we're probably going to dosome short clips of this, I've
had the privilege of knowing yousince we were babies.
And you're so accomplished andyou're so humble.
You've been around horsesforever and you have over 10
different world championshiptitles with many different
breeds and.
(02:16):
I'm like, there's Lobo.
Sorry, champion.
We're talking like Olympics.
Oh yeah.
And there's Lobo who's, who isgonna love having people to pet
him.
Big time.
Yes.
At a retreat.
So if people, first of all, willyou just tell us what it's like
growing up, learning withhorses, like you always loved
horses and then you started.
(02:37):
Competing with AmericanSaddlebreds and, you shared a
little bit about that, but canyou tell us more like what you
were getting from that?
What it was like as a, anadolescent, right?
I, the love of horses really, Ican't say I got it from my
mother or my father or anybodyelse in my family that, who I
know fortunately my parents werevery outgoing and they were very
(03:01):
giving and, hey, oh, you want totry riding?
Okay, sure.
And as, as far as I canremember, I loved animals in
general and especially horses.
And I don't think That's uniqueto me.
I think they're just a magicalcreature, whether it has wings
and a horn or glitter on itsfeet or whatever, black beauty,
(03:22):
my friend Flicka, whatever itis, it's it's, they're
fascinating, beautiful animals.
I've always loved them and Iwanted to ride and then I just
ended up at a barn that hadsaddle breads and American
saddle breads and eventuallyafter riding, for a while they
asked if I wanted to show and Isaid, sure.
(03:42):
I, my journey in the show horseworld was wonderful.
I was very blessed, very lucky.
And I loved competing.
I'm not a, I'm not a supercompetitive person.
I'm not going to lie.
It's always fun to win, but Iwas more about my, the journey,
which I didn't really, you'rewhen you're young, you don't
(04:03):
think about these things, doingit, right?
Whether I won or got.
disqualified.
I still wanted to do it again.
I just really loved therelationship with the horse.
And then as, years went by, I,increased my skill.
My parents got nicer horses or,a little bit more quality and
that helps as far as the resultgoes and the, when you're
(04:26):
competing, that's funny becausethe competitive aspect of it.
It's a little different thanmost sports because if you're
having a bad day, whetheryou're, even if you're just
trail riding your horse, butespecially if you're competing
and then as the levels gethigher and the demands get, more
intense, obviously that.
That's part of it, but we canhave bad days.
(04:48):
The horse can have a bad day,but if you can't really take it
out on them, you can take yoursoccer ball and give it a good
kick.
If you're mad and you're havinga tantrum, but soccer ball is
not going to do anything.
You treat your horse like that.
And maybe the next time you havea ride.
They remember.
And so I think in that way ittaught me a lot growing up about
(05:11):
controlling yourself,controlling your emotions,
controlling your fears andthere's always, think about it,
learn from the, if it's not theexperience you want, think about
it, learn from it, and then trybetter next time.
And sometimes that next timeisn't the next time.
Isn't the golden ticketsometimes.
My most hard fought successeswith the horse show world with
(05:33):
competing were my most memorablemoments.
It was those times where Ithought, I'm never gonna figure
this horse out.
And there's expectations andthis horse, I know this horse
has talent.
I believe I have talent.
(05:54):
Why are we not?
Why is my trainer upset?
Why are my parents, fussing atthe tree, what can I do to be
better?
And then finally, when themarble does fall in the hole,
it's Oh my gosh, it worked.
It worked.
Yeah.
And it may not have worked thenext time but the fact that it
worked at all was so rewarding.
(06:16):
As you mature and get, youlearned, okay, relax a little
bit about this and, but it'sfunny because as successful as I
was becoming as a competitiveequestrian, I always wanted to
have horses.
With me to take care of, butthen it's, wow.
A lot of responsibility, a lotof work, but I always wanted
(06:37):
that.
I always wanted that part of it.
And.
When my dad was transferred upto Canada for work from Texas.
And my mom was devastated.
They were small town born andraised Texans and this was a
huge step for them.
And my mom told my dad we'll go.
If this is what we need to dofor your career, but we're going
(06:59):
to take, at that point, we had areally, we had just acquired a
really nice show horse and we'regoing to take him.
And so my dad went and he founda place, somebody that could
train him.
The first thing I wanted was ifwe're going to move, could I
have a horse out with me?
So then my parents looked for anacreage to rent and then we
(07:21):
found a mare, she ended up beingin full.
And so it was two for one andeven the getting, but it was my
responsibility.
I had to get up early every day.
I had to take care of them everyday.
The only times that I can recallthat I did not.
Was one time I got snowed in atschool and my dad was snowed in
(07:43):
at work.
And my mom actually fed thehorses and then it was a white
out and she almost got lost.
She got disoriented going backto the house from the barn.
And she told us later, Hey, if.
If the airport wasn't closed, Iwould have gotten a plane and
been out of here.
I think she called it thisgodforsaken frozen, whatever it
(08:03):
was.
She was upset and it was scary.
But other than that, it was verymuch my responsibility in spite
of that, in spite of being, ateenager and wanting to have fun
with my friends and this andthat.
I never.
Resented the work involved, thegetting up, the feeding, the
ice, the water that was frozenfor, and so it's always been
(08:27):
something that I've really,genuinely love on every level,
whether it's competitive or justas, I have what a few that are
retired that I call pastureornaments because they're older.
They have some issues andthey're having a nice
retirement.
Yeah, exactly.
They're expensive pastureornaments and I love them
dearly.
So yeah.
(08:47):
And I know you, you loved horsesas well growing up and you had a
huge influence on.
On me and our family,gratefully.
And I was just going to say Iremember as a kid going to visit
Melissa, Uncle Cole and AuntMelanie and, in the summers, it
was beautiful.
It wasn't a million degrees likein Texas.
Yeah.
But the summers in Alberta weregorgeous.
(09:09):
Gorgeous.
And we would go to BAMF and wewould hike.
One year we had to build, helpbuild a porch or something like,
I remember, and I was a groomand I remember like falling
asleep in my dinner cause theexertion was a lot of work.
Yeah.
And then coming to visit and inthis and getting to ski and
loving that.
(09:30):
But I also remember, like skinfreezes in two seconds.
And I remember I was like, wait,what?
And it was always such anadventure.
And, I just wanted to, I'm sograteful that you introduced
Saddlebreads to us and showing,because I wasn't very athletic,
but I learned focus,determination, discipline.
(09:53):
I had this, you knew PattyMilligan.
She was one of my heroes.
She was my trainer in the Dallasarea.
The very first show in SanAntonio, I won.
And she was like, don't getcocky.
You are the best of the worst.
Like she was, sounds likesomething Patty would say.
And, one time she saw us, wemessed up right in front of the
judge and she was like, don'tgive up, make up for it.
(10:15):
I learned, some of these thingshappened like 40, a long time
ago, but she's one of thosepeople.
And I'm so grateful.
Real quick, I want to sharesomething I think you're just
going to love.
Are you an expert in your fieldand you know you need to be out
there more?
(10:36):
And maybe you've tried to dovideo but you really struggled
with it or you weren'tconsistent or you weren't happy
with your results, then weshould have a conversation.
I love helping people just likeyou make engaging, connected,
short form videos that havepeople lean in and want more.
(10:56):
Look for the link in the shownotes and we can set up a call
and see if this is the right fitfor you.
It's time to get yourself outthere and stop being the best
kept secret.
And we're back.
And a lot of that was have to dowith.
You guys sharing your love ofhorses and, Melissa, if
somebody's listening and theydon't know what an American
(11:17):
Saddlebred is, I know it's likethe only true American breed.
I believe so.
I, there may be others now, butoriginally they were bred in the
United States.
They started, as our country wasyoung and and then.
They were began breeding themwith select stock right about
(11:38):
the founding time, the time ofthe, I think the first
saddlebreds were, 1700s.
They wanted a horse that up tocivil war.
In fact, several of the UnitedStates generals road, I think
for both sides roads, and theywanted a horse that was
attractive that could do lightFarm work, during the day that
(11:59):
could pull the cart.
The carriage to church on theweekend, and be a, amiable and
attractive.
And then eventually these countyfairs, they call them, started
where they would, take theirbest horse and compete.
And that's where that, thatstarted from.
Yeah.
And then was it a combination oflike thoroughbreds?
(12:19):
Because I always think ofsaddlebreds as like these
beautiful, elegant, high necked,high stepping, beautiful,
they're just a gorgeous breed.
And I know you can probablydescribe it better.
No, that's, originally I believethey, they had the Morgan horse
was also a uniquely Americanbreed.
Okay.
So the story of Justin Morganhad a horse that's where the
(12:42):
Morgan horse got its name from.
So they did take the Morgans,they took some really good
thoroughbreds from England.
They called, it was aNarragansett pacer, which is a
little bit similar to what wecall a standard bred.
Those are the ones that.
trot and pace and harness.
Mostly.
Okay.
You'll see them on theracetrack.
So there was selection ofdifferent breeds to try to
(13:03):
create this This wonderful horsethat could be, like I said, both
a family horse and a show horseI have.
Two saddle breads here and onethat's a half saddle bread, half
region.
Who is, I'm in love with her.
I know you love her, but I'mlike, I'm second.
Like this mayor is so gorgeous.
Okay.
I could go on.
I'm, horse fanning here.
(13:25):
So you grew, you finishedgrowing up in Canada and then.
And then I know, you went tocollege a couple places and then
when did you, so you'd alwayscompeted and like I did, I
competed through, through highschool in, into college a little
bit.
Dad was at that point, you needto focus and not.
(13:46):
But I was determined to keepwriting.
So I did however I could, race,half lease, whatever.
I did go to Europe and did aninternship.
And that's when I, that's when Ifirst met an, and I had my first
experience writing an Andalusianhorse, which I also love.
And tell us about that.
That is a Spanish breed.
Yes, they're a Spanish breed.
(14:07):
Originally there, I thinkAndalusians and Arabians are
really the oldest two breeds ofhorses.
And they both evolved indifferent parts of the world,
but the Spanish horses.
Mostly obviously in Europe,Spain and then they branched out
from there and the Arabiansobviously south of there and so
(14:29):
the Moors, back during theCrusade days, the Moors were
typically mounted on Arabiansand the Spaniards and the the
Knights the Crusaders werepredominantly mounted on
Andalusians or some sort ofSpanish stock.
Today we have Andalusians andLusitanos, which are basically
the same breeds, but one's aPortuguese and one's Spanish.
(14:49):
But, Lipizzaners are alsorelated, they're derived from
Arabians.
And and so they were bred fordifferent types of warfare.
So when That, the knights wouldfight, fight the Moors.
They would they would have thesebig skirmishes and raids and
whatnot.
And the and the Arabian horsewas bred for Bedouin warfare
(15:11):
where you run, they're a fat,they're other than a race horse,
they have incredible, they havelarge noses.
They have they're very fast.
Tremendous endurance, even tothis day.
There's several different typesof end of Arabians that have
branched out, but they're veryfast and they're very quick,
(15:31):
typically not as large.
So they're, run in, steal whatyou need from the tent and get
out, and run as long as you haveto without water.
they have that, which is peopleuse them for endurance trail
rides to this day for thatreason.
And then the Spanish horses.
were a little rounder, a littlethicker, big, strong rear ends
and they were made for hand tohand combat.
(15:54):
You can imagine you have nightswith armor and so different
attire, different type offighting.
And that's where those, thebeautiful what they call high
school.
Which is classical Spanishdressage at the highest levels
where they do like the Corvetteand the Levade, these kinds of
things.
Those are basically derived frombattle moves when the horse is
(16:20):
doing like what we would call arear up, but that's a controlled
rear where they're back on theirhaunches and their front that
was to protect the night.
If he's being hit head on, thehorse would rear up and deflect.
Deflect the blow or the kickingmaneuvers that they would do
would be if they were beingattacked from the rear.
There's a lot of beauty to it.
(16:42):
But when you study it, that was,historically those moves.
Derived specifically frombattle, from, battle movements
of the 1500s, when you go to anymuseum and paintings of these
breeds, because that was, yeah.
If I was there, I would havebeen like, don't hurt the horse,
get the knight, don't stab thehorse, do the knight.
(17:07):
I would have such a hard timedoing that.
Yeah, but, that was a necessaryevil at the time, but yeah, I'm
always fascinated by like thehistory, and the breeds have
evolved and, I've learned everytime I get to hang out with you,
I learned so much about horses.
And for our listeners and ourviewers, there is a world
champion horse show inLouisville, Kentucky, and it is
(17:31):
basically like the Olympics ofAmerican Saddlebred, right?
Correct.
Saddlebred equitation andpleasure.
Those are competitions.
And it's equal to the Olympicsof dressage and hunter jumper,
but they don't, they haven'tgone fully Olympic, but they
could set the stage.
Cause you're so humble.
(17:52):
So Melissa, you have to be at acertain level to even apply and
go because it is very highlevel, very.
High stress.
And expensive.
You don't just go to Yeehaw, yougotta be at a certain level.
It's like the Boston Marathon.
You don't just show up, yougotta qualify.
Exactly.
And and you hear about theLouis, I've heard about it for
years.
It's on my bucket list to go.
(18:13):
So tell us about, the first timeyou went.
It, it was something that Ialways aspired to.
But then when we moved toCanada, then obviously I went to
the Canadian nationals there,that was there and that was
great fun years later I had, Iwas a.
I was married.
I had my first child and thesecond one and I started riding,
(18:36):
I continued to ride and Istarted riding again and I ended
up getting a horse that was alot nicer than I thought she was
going to be.
And then that kind of became adream.
And then the dream startedbecoming reality.
And I remember when my trainerout here and in Del Mar in
California, she was.
She's always been a very honest,brutally honest wonderful
(18:58):
person, great instructorinternational world class judge
and she said, if you win on theWest Coast consistently, then
It's justified that you go backeast to Kentucky and compete at
the World Grand Championships.
But if you're not winningconsistently, consistency,
(19:20):
consistently out here, don'twaste your money, don't waste
your time.
And and I kept, her name wasJolie, the mayor, her name was
Jolie Blanche, beautiful blonde.
She was a beautiful blonde, likeElaine, and she was dark rich,
red chestnut.
And she just kept getting betterand better.
She was a little temperamentalbut we figured her out.
(19:42):
And then when we started winningat the best shows out here I was
just enjoying myself and and mymom would show her in the
driving.
My mom liked to drive with thecart.
That was her thing.
And then one day my, yeah, my,my trainer, Ann said, I think
I'm going to take a few backeast this summer.
And, I think I think you guysare ready.
(20:04):
And I said, Oh my gosh, I wasall excited, and then I found
out, Oh, they were gonna fly thehorses, not drive them.
And then how much that was goingto cost.
And then, my parents and myhusband, my, he was.
He was disinterested because itwas expensive.
And then, and my parents were,always willing to fan the flames
of of fun and yeah, and passion.
(20:26):
And so my daughter was about, Ithink she was about seven at the
time and writing, and my sonwas, he would have been four and
and we all went.
We flew to Kentucky and Jolieflew and we flew separately.
Obviously they call it Air Forceone, the big plane that they
have.
They have no idea.
I had no idea that flies them towherever, kentucky, back East
(20:49):
overseas, but anyway, they callit Air Force one and they
literally trailer them to theairport.
Usually it's Ontario airport andtech Sutton Has a big outfit
that does that these planes arespecifically for the horses and
they trailer them, they get fromthe trailer to a ramp with high
sides and they get on in theirstall and off they go.
(21:11):
So we all went and I thought Iwas ready.
And first class, you've got togo in and the division I was
showing in was intenselycompetitive and they had, I
think they'd split the classlike three ways.
There was and each class had aton and it was awful.
It's like the best of the best.
And exactly.
And you know what?
(21:31):
These people now, many of them,are friends of mine, are
acquaintances of mine I'vematured, I've been back there
many times now, so it's not, I'mnot, star struck.
I thought, oh my gosh, that's soand oh my gosh, that's so and so
I was I was deaf and I thought,my gosh, you're, really?
Really?
Really?
(21:51):
Really?
But I was so overwhelmed and youget there.
And it's just, it's glamor.
It's a whole week plus ofnonstop horse show morning till
night.
And then you want to watch thework because the trainers will
bring the horses out late atnight and work them where they
didn't, no one's watching.
And of course you want to seepeople are lined up in their
(22:12):
golf carts, that and it's rightthere.
And it's absolutely exquisite.
Gorgeous.
It is a rush.
I mean there's concerts, there'sthe fair, there's the, It's
absolutely incredible how manypeople go to this, attend it,
it's, it's like nothing I'veever experienced.
They're valued at a quartermillion.
(22:34):
Oh, millions now.
It's incredible and even thenmaybe the highest price one was
maybe worth a million, but yeah.
And these people that I'm, oh mygosh.
And so here I am, first timethere, right?
And there's my little mare thatI bought for not a whole lot of
money.
And so we get all ready and theyopen the gate and we go in and I
just was, I'm not really surewhat I was doing.
(22:57):
I was just having a nice time.
I was smiling and we were goingaround and I was staying right
on the rail and all these horseswere all over the place.
And they're in there, you've gotthree judges.
But you still need to be seen.
If they don't see you, theycan't write you down.
And if they're not right, you goaround on the rail, walk, I was
(23:20):
on my own little merry go roundall the way around the outside.
And I remember going past mytrainer and I remember her
saying, you better wake up.
They haven't even seen you.
And I went, Oh.
And at that point I did wake upand I kind of maneuvered and my
ringsmanship started coming toplay and I put myself, in a
(23:42):
better spot to be seen and atthat point it was over.
I blew it.
And, but I had such amagnificent time.
It was an expensive lessonbecause if you don't get a
decent, if you don't get atleast six, you don't get to go
back in the championship.
So the bad news was I had alovely time and then I did
nothing for the rest of the weekexcept watch everybody else have
(24:04):
a good time.
And I thought, Oh my gosh, if Icould just, that old feeling, if
I could just do it again.
If I just had one more chance,if I, so yeah, it was a tough,
it was a tough lesson, but Ilearned it.
And the next time I went, I was,tell us about the next time.
And it was a few years it was afew years before I had the
opportunity.
Maybe I want to say maybe threeyears before I had the
(24:26):
opportunity again.
And a different mayor.
This was a different mayor, asimilar type, actually her barn
name was Blondie, believe it ornot.
And but she was a five gatedmayor.
And really quick.
So the people who don't knowfive gate, so most most horses,
hello, walk, trot, canter, andthen there's two man made gates
(24:48):
that are gorgeous.
One is a slow gate and then thefast version is the rack and
it's very staccato and it'sactually like you're gliding,
but the horses do all this work.
It's super smooth to ride whenit's done properly, but it's
yeah, and it's very fast and it,and not every saddle bread can
(25:08):
do it correctly.
It's a bigger, it's moreintense.
More things to go wrong.
More things to do right so tospeak.
So yeah, I, I had an opportunityand I we had done really well.
Blondie and I had done reallywell.
And yeah, we went back and wewon our division and then went
back and we're reserve worldgrand champion.
So we're world champion andreserve world grand champion.
(25:30):
But had I not had that firstexperience was a complete
failure other than that.
I had fun.
I wouldn't have been preparedand, I knew people more.
I had been going back and youweren't so green.
And yeah, you're on the railgoing around, but then you also
were like making specific cutsin front.
Exactly.
In an arena.
(25:51):
They call them the peacocks ofthe show ring, this breed.
And the reason is they are showhorses, the louder the child,
the cloud, the crowd cheers, thebetter they do.
And, in some breeds, like ifyou're at a very serious
dressage show, for example, ifyou're watching the Olympics, or
if you've watched a world gamesor anything like that, when
they're competing, you can heara pin drop, right?
(26:13):
Now.
When they've saluted the judgein there and it's over with yes,
people will cheer But it'sentirely different and this is
very much these horses areadrenaline junkies and they love
it and the louder the better andit gets loud there because
there's a lot of people andYeah, and so so it was a ton of
(26:34):
fun and I was very it was fun.
Yeah, that was a great fastforward and tell us about this
next.
Did you have another time thereas the world champion?
I did, I've had a couple and inthe meantime, my daughter was,
it has, she still is, she'sactually a trainer.
She and her husband have atraining barn back in Kentucky.
(26:56):
She took competitiveness to awhole new level and I stood
back, I took a back seat to, to,supporting her dreams and goals
because she was just, Supercompetitive and super gifted.
And so we, fostered that in, inher and went.
World cup with her, went toSouth Africa a couple of times
(27:18):
and competed there.
And she's won it at Louisvilleat the world grand champions
multiple times and three yearsin a row.
Yeah.
Three years in a row.
And which is not easy and one ofthe most competitive divisions
there is.
that was quite a, quite anaccomplishment.
And it's funny because the horsethat she accomplished it with
(27:38):
she was the last horse that mydaughter and my dad and I picked
out together.
And her name is divine asset.
Now she's technically worldchampion, world grand champion,
champion, divine asset.
She is.
Here in the, on the property.
She's been a brood mareremultiple times over.
We kept her retired her, she'sgot two world champion offspring
(28:01):
so far which is very exciting.
And we're hoping we can hit onemore.
And then she would add anotherrockola to her name, which she
would be a brood mare Hall offame.
She's not only was a, she was avery special horse in many ways
and a phenomenal ladies inladies, amateur five gated mare.
Not easy.
That was, she was another onethat taught my daughter some
(28:22):
very hard lessons at thebeginning.
They're, these are high strunghorses.
And she's very sensitive.
They're like Lamborghinis.
Yeah.
Big time.
And there's no, I remember.
I've been on her back a fewtimes now, but I had back injury
and whatnot.
So I didn't ride for a littlewhile, but my, one of my first
times back riding, I'd beenriding less than horses.
(28:44):
And then I went back to Kentuckyand the gentleman who's now my
son in law, Neil, and he was.
putting me on a couple horses inthe barn and I'm like, okay,
wow.
All right.
The whole different than alesson horse.
And and then he's you want towrite the gray mare?
Cause we call her peanut.
That's her barn name.
Divine asset.
Cause you want to, why don't youjust bunch stuff on the gray
mare?
And I thought, Oh, okay.
This is a big step up fromanything I've just watching her.
(29:08):
I knew this in a minute.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I am just now backwriting from, several years of
not being able to, and I justremember that she was, she's
incredibly kind.
You never get the feeling thatshe's one of these opportunists.
We were trotting around and Ithought my.
(29:30):
Gosh, what an adrenaline rushthis is, hang in there, Melissa,
don't embarrass yourself, so Iwas in a hop on baby.
Let's go.
And here we went.
And I've, I'm, think I'm doinggreat.
And Neil says, okay, you'redoing it.
Good job.
Good job.
And then he goes, just releasejust a little bit.
And I'm thinking, I know betterthan to hold this horse strongly
(29:54):
in her mouth.
Cause she's not going totolerate that.
She's very sensitive, but I'mlike, I don't feel like I'm
holding too much.
But I'm like, okay.
And I literally took my littlepinky and I swear I moved it
maybe a quarter of an inch.
Forward when he said that,because I was petrified, I would
never admit it to him, but I waslike, I don't, first of all, I
(30:15):
didn't want to mess the horseup.
Second of all, I didn't want tofall.
And so the slightest movementand it was like a cartoon, I was
going and it was.
Absolutely a blast, a completeblast.
But I thought, Oh my gosh,there's a huge engine in here.
I've never been on anything withthat much power, like a tempest
(30:41):
in a teacup because you couldtell it was there, but she was
very aware that she was being alady, which is not easy for her.
Then when I said, okay, let'sgo, then it was just like, Holy
smokes, so yeah, that was, Ilove that story.
It was fun.
(31:01):
Yeah, it really was.
I'm going to digress for asecond because this ties into
our journey with.
With the concept of this of thisexecutive leadership retreat and
including the horses and theenvironment of the ranch.
We were talking about.
The Spaniards and the Crusadersand the Moors and all that you
(31:21):
hear these stories about how,and pictures, it's the truth,
these Bedouins would take theirArabians into the tent with
them.
That's how closely connectedthey were with their horses.
These Spaniards, if you readabout Andalusian horses, they're
very much a one on one horse.
They look for somebody, oneperson to connect with in
general, other breeds are like,Oh, I can be your friend.
(31:44):
I can be your friend.
And they're a lot easier going.
You can think about it.
Okay.
If you're a knight and you'reoff and that's your life is in
your horse's hands.
Absolutely.
And you better be buddies andyou better trust that horse and
it better be absolute.
And so this, that's theevolution of, horses can.
(32:05):
adjust their heart rate.
You hear the thing that the, andit's true that if you're scared,
they know it, they do know it.
They pick up on that.
If you're aggressive, dependingon what your intentions are,
they pick up on it very quickly.
And like people, some horses area little more sensitive than
others, but Every horse has thecapability, and they have the
(32:26):
herd mentality.
That's how they grow up.
We've taken them, domesticatedthem, and put them in stalls,
right?
But in the wild, they're herdanimals.
And even, I call it my littleherd here, some of them are in
stalls, some of them are in akind of a more of an indoor
outdoor situation, but they'revery aware that's their group.
(32:47):
And there's a leader, there's amale leader, there's a female
leader.
And If you watch them at night,even if they're in a stall,
they're never all sleeping atthe same time.
So they watch somebody's onguard, even though I don't know
what they think is going to getthem here, but it's just
instinctual.
So keeping that in mind the herdis very in with each other.
(33:11):
So when we include ourselves inthat, The horses have an ability
to adjust their heart rate tohours from I believe it's, if
it's three feet, so if we walkup and we're stressed, they pick
up on that and they have theability to lower their heart
(33:35):
rate.
And cause our heart rate tolower as well.
And this is a medical fact.
You can Google what I'm sayingso that I'm, and so they're
huge, empathetic animals.
They're empaths to the core.
They're sensitive to the core.
So you take that animal that hasbeen domesticated along with us
(33:55):
for years.
We've got the Moors, we've gotthe Spaniards, then you've got
the conquest of the new world.
Development of Saddlebreds, likewe were talking about the Civil
War, where they were withsoldiers and they fought and
died on the battlefieldstogether.
And horses can really behealing.
(34:16):
And if you give them a chance,it's fascinating.
It's not only fascinating thatthey can help us.
If I'm, if I am sad, they knowit.
Immediately they know it.
And if I'm happy, usually I goup, I talk to him all the time.
If anybody had a camera on me,they think she's crazy.
(34:37):
I go up there.
I'm like, good morning.
They all have little pet names,I was talking to them too.
I was having so much fun.
Did you have a good night'ssleep?
Yeah.
And they respond to it.
And they have a lot to teach us,especially in this day and age.
And but they are very, there's areason they use them for
therapeutic writing.
There's a reason they use horsesfor wounded war, the wounded
(34:58):
warriors foundation and to healpeople that have gone through
severe trauma because it's ahuge.
Rush to connect with an animalthat's that strong and powerful
for one powerful and tender andsweet, right?
and what and the horse that youmight Connect with the most is
(35:18):
not maybe gonna be the one Iconnect with the most and the
one that I think oh godAnnoying, I can't quite connect
with that one.
And then somebody also walk upand they're just In their
pocket.
That's how it is.
They have a very special,intuitive gift.
And if we don't pay attentionand we, it's very easy to miss,
(35:41):
but that's really to me asimportant or more so than the
competitions.
And, my, my favorite Storiesthat are, recently are horses
that were very traumatized whenI got them from an auction or
had been abused neglected thosekinds of things.
(36:05):
And I love the rehabilitationprocess and also not just for
selfless reasons.
It helps me too.
I lost one recently that was a,I think he was almost 25 and I
had gotten him from a bankruptcyauction and he was at one time I
found out later a gorgeousAndalusian stallion that was
(36:27):
imported and paid a lot of moneyfor him as a baby and he just,
he fell into interestingcircumstances and he was just a
train wreck.
He was a hot mess.
When I got it and it took a lotof patience and a lot of time.
Yeah.
And a lot of, and a lot of loveand he was slow to trust, but if
(36:50):
you, if he was a real old souland when you gave him time, he
would tell you, he would tellstories, he would go, okay, I
have stuff to talk about today.
He would just walk right up andput his head down and just, you
could just tell he, he wassharing something and.
And yeah, that's our journey asa as a civilization, as people
(37:11):
with animals, our journey withthem and our history with horses
goes way, way back.
And so we can, use that if youwill gain from it, learn from it
and things can be applied to ourrelationships with other people,
our relationships in thebusiness world.
We all have that one, coworkerthat you're like, I know he's
(37:32):
not a bad guy or I know she'snot a bad cow.
I know she's good at her, but wejust don't get along.
We don't see the boss.
Yeah, your boss.
It's Oh, and it's but sometimesif you put a little different
effort into it, and sometimes aspeople, we don't always realize
what we're projecting to otherpeople.
(37:53):
And so it teaches us, okay,sometimes you have to adjust our
heart rate, adjust our essence,adjust our energy to, to others
so that we're not either as sointimidating or so that we have.
We're coming into our powerversus stepping back, so there's
a lot to be learned in.
I love it.
And, Melissa's place is sobeautiful.
(38:15):
It's this beautiful home on thisin the foothills.
And there's this, there's ahorse track.
All through the town and hikingand it's just beautiful and then
she has this magnificentbackyard where she's sitting now
with an outdoor stove and barand there's lots of places to
(38:37):
sit.
We're going to have campfiresand be under the stars and then
out further back up the hill iswhere the horses are on premise.
And where we're going to be inthe stalls and in the corral
with them, working with themwith our hands and our voices.
And it's this process called atliberty, which is mind blowing.
(39:01):
And.
It's just, it's such a magicalthing.
And I forgot to tell you this,Melissa, I used to always be I
want to ride, I want to ride andso when I first met shadow, who
is this magnificent Friesianblack stallion, black beauty.
And stallions are like, I'm astud, And most signs that I've
(39:22):
met are jerks, you're like, Oh,he's pretty right.
Stay back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, but shadow was like thismagnificent creature, but he had
this sweet, so he would nuzzleyou and you might nip at you a
little bit, but it was all inplay.
And yeah, I was.
mesmerized by him.
And I didn't even realize it.
(39:43):
Cause I remember, I was here andthen we brought my friend Neil,
we were trying to teach him andwe're doing a bunch of different
things.
And we only had three days andthis is right before COVID.
But I remember I just had thesemoments with him and I had all
these pictures where I'm just,and I had never had that
experience from the ground andWhen I went back to the East
(40:03):
coast, I could not stop talkingabout shadow.
My yoga friends were like, youare so in love.
And he has a huge fan base.
That's for sure.
He did.
Everybody fell in love with him.
But I realized like I had ahealing, interacting with these
horses, just being around them.
Not even, we got to ride, butthere was a connection that I
(40:24):
had never connected before.
And then I experienced thatagain when I was, and I was
like, Oh my gosh, we have to doa retreat here.
This is going to be amazing.
I am so excited.
Melissa is a fabulous hostess.
The property is gorgeous.
Thank you.
That's a huge compliment.
Yeah.
It is just a beautiful space andthese horses are so magical.
(40:47):
Even though, unfortunately wehave lost our beloved shadow in
JP, the president looking downon us.
And we have lots of otherbeautiful ones.
We have I forget what is theAnna?
What's the one Arabella.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Shadow's daughter.
Yeah.
He's so hot.
She is half saddle bread and allheart and feist and fire.
(41:11):
And then her beautiful mother,who is Ella.
I don't know why.
Anyway, she is a sweetheart.
Anyway I'm so delighted andwe're going to, we're going to
have so much leading up to theevent and then the four days on
property in deep, a bubble oftransformation and.
(41:33):
Time with energy and time toyourself and, the promises
you're going to leave filled up,ready to go, ready to serve,
huge breakthroughs andconfidence, leadership, energy
management, and really a newlevel of being able to be an
authentic leader.
Next level.
(41:53):
Is there anything you want toadd to that?
Melissa?
I don't, Everything you said isjust spot on and I think it's
like you said it's a uniqueconcept.
It's a unique experience and I'mvery excited for us to embark on
this journey and and I thank youfor your compliments about the
property and my host is seeingabilities.
(42:16):
And but it is a very graciousproperty and it's got a very
special energy and which is whatdrew me to it originally.
The horses love it here.
And people love it here.
People come and they don't wantto leave which is a compliment.
I never want to leave every timeI come up.
I know.
I, and that's a good thing.
That's how you want.
(42:37):
Places to be, so yeah, and we'vegot lots of fun things to do.
We have lots of hiking plannedand some of it will be optional
in case you need time to processit and we'll be doing Q and A's
as we're leading up to it.
And it's the second weekend inMay.
So that Thursday through Sunday,I want to say like the 8th
through the 11th.
(42:58):
So hold that sounds right.
And we've got the links comingsoon.
And there'll be some Q and A'sthat we're doing.
And yeah it's magical.
Give yourself this gift butMelissa, thank you so much for
coming on the episode and I'mgoing to have your stuff in the
show notes that people want toreach out to you.
You're awesome.
Thanks.
Many other fabulous projectsgoing with real estate and your
(43:22):
script writing and productplacement.
Yes.
Many hats.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Bye.
Okay.
Welcome to Captivate the Micwith Elaine Williams.
I think you are going to lovethis episode where I interview
my cousin, Melissa Williams, whois a 10 times world champion
it's going to be all the things.
And we're doing a, leadershipwomen's retreat in May at her
beautiful, Ranch in California,and I'm just delighted.
(00:28):
It's so fun to hear her storiesand to learn even more about her
badassness.
And I think you're going to lovethis episode.
So please enjoy.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to captivate the mic.
I'm here with my beautiful,brilliant, talented,
ridiculously powerful cousin,Melissa Williams.
(00:48):
Melissa.
Hello.
No pressure introduction.
What, what's left to say?
I know sometimes it's Like Iused to have these long intros
before comedy and they're like,maybe you don't want to say all
those credits, it's there's alot of pressure.
So it makes me think of, andhere's Daenerys Stormborn,
Targaryen, mother of dragonsbreaker of chains.
(01:09):
Is that crown of thorns orwhatever or game of thrones?
That's right.
I only caught a little bit ofit, but when I was in Croatia, I
was like, Oh my God, I have towatch it now.
Anyway, I'm so excited to haveyou on the podcast.
And I'm so excited because youand I are working on the most
amazing.
Dynamic, fabulous retreatleadership program.
(01:33):
So there's so many wonderfulthings about it.
It's hard to capture it in.
It is.
And everyone might talk aboutit.
Yeah.
People are like, give me thelink.
We will get that to you ASAP.
I thought, you know what?
Let me introduce you to people.
Some people watch on YouTube.
Some people are just going tolisten.
(01:54):
And we're probably going to dosome short clips of this, I've
had the privilege of knowing yousince we were babies.
And you're so accomplished andyou're so humble.
You've been around horsesforever and you have over 10
different world championshiptitles with many different
breeds and.
(02:16):
I'm like, there's Lobo.
Sorry, champion.
We're talking like Olympics.
Oh yeah.
And there's Lobo who's, who isgonna love having people to pet
him.
Big time.
Yes.
At a retreat.
So if people, first of all, willyou just tell us what it's like
growing up, learning withhorses, like you always loved
horses and then you started.
(02:37):
Competing with AmericanSaddlebreds and, you shared a
little bit about that, but canyou tell us more like what you
were getting from that?
What it was like as a, anadolescent, right?
I, the love of horses really, Ican't say I got it from my
mother or my father or anybodyelse in my family that, who I
know fortunately my parents werevery outgoing and they were very
(03:01):
giving and, hey, oh, you want totry riding?
Okay, sure.
And as, as far as I canremember, I loved animals in
general and especially horses.
And I don't think That's uniqueto me.
I think they're just a magicalcreature, whether it has wings
and a horn or glitter on itsfeet or whatever, black beauty,
(03:22):
my friend Flicka, whatever itis, it's it's, they're
fascinating, beautiful animals.
I've always loved them and Iwanted to ride and then I just
ended up at a barn that hadsaddle breads and American
saddle breads and eventuallyafter riding, for a while they
asked if I wanted to show and Isaid, sure.
(03:42):
I, my journey in the show horseworld was wonderful.
I was very blessed, very lucky.
And I loved competing.
I'm not a, I'm not a supercompetitive person.
I'm not going to lie.
It's always fun to win, but Iwas more about my, the journey,
which I didn't really, you'rewhen you're young, you don't
(04:03):
think about these things, doingit, right?
Whether I won or got.
disqualified.
I still wanted to do it again.
I just really loved therelationship with the horse.
And then as, years went by, I,increased my skill.
My parents got nicer horses or,a little bit more quality and
that helps as far as the resultgoes and the, when you're
(04:26):
competing, that's funny becausethe competitive aspect of it.
It's a little different thanmost sports because if you're
having a bad day, whetheryou're, even if you're just
trail riding your horse, butespecially if you're competing
and then as the levels gethigher and the demands get, more
intense, obviously that.
That's part of it, but we canhave bad days.
(04:48):
The horse can have a bad day,but if you can't really take it
out on them, you can take yoursoccer ball and give it a good
kick.
If you're mad and you're havinga tantrum, but soccer ball is
not going to do anything.
You treat your horse like that.
And maybe the next time you havea ride.
They remember.
And so I think in that way ittaught me a lot growing up about
(05:11):
controlling yourself,controlling your emotions,
controlling your fears andthere's always, think about it,
learn from the, if it's not theexperience you want, think about
it, learn from it, and then trybetter next time.
And sometimes that next timeisn't the next time.
Isn't the golden ticketsometimes.
My most hard fought successeswith the horse show world with
(05:33):
competing were my most memorablemoments.
It was those times where Ithought, I'm never gonna figure
this horse out.
And there's expectations andthis horse, I know this horse
has talent.
I believe I have talent.
(05:54):
Why are we not?
Why is my trainer upset?
Why are my parents, fussing atthe tree, what can I do to be
better?
And then finally, when themarble does fall in the hole,
it's Oh my gosh, it worked.
It worked.
Yeah.
And it may not have worked thenext time but the fact that it
worked at all was so rewarding.
(06:16):
As you mature and get, youlearned, okay, relax a little
bit about this and, but it'sfunny because as successful as I
was becoming as a competitiveequestrian, I always wanted to
have horses.
With me to take care of, butthen it's, wow.
A lot of responsibility, a lotof work, but I always wanted
(06:37):
that.
I always wanted that part of it.
And.
When my dad was transferred upto Canada for work from Texas.
And my mom was devastated.
They were small town born andraised Texans and this was a
huge step for them.
And my mom told my dad we'll go.
If this is what we need to dofor your career, but we're going
(06:59):
to take, at that point, we had areally, we had just acquired a
really nice show horse and we'regoing to take him.
And so my dad went and he founda place, somebody that could
train him.
The first thing I wanted was ifwe're going to move, could I
have a horse out with me?
So then my parents looked for anacreage to rent and then we
(07:21):
found a mare, she ended up beingin full.
And so it was two for one andeven the getting, but it was my
responsibility.
I had to get up early every day.
I had to take care of them everyday.
The only times that I can recallthat I did not.
Was one time I got snowed in atschool and my dad was snowed in
(07:43):
at work.
And my mom actually fed thehorses and then it was a white
out and she almost got lost.
She got disoriented going backto the house from the barn.
And she told us later, Hey, if.
If the airport wasn't closed, Iwould have gotten a plane and
been out of here.
I think she called it thisgodforsaken frozen, whatever it
(08:03):
was.
She was upset and it was scary.
But other than that, it was verymuch my responsibility in spite
of that, in spite of being, ateenager and wanting to have fun
with my friends and this andthat.
I never.
Resented the work involved, thegetting up, the feeding, the
ice, the water that was frozenfor, and so it's always been
(08:27):
something that I've really,genuinely love on every level,
whether it's competitive or justas, I have what a few that are
retired that I call pastureornaments because they're older.
They have some issues andthey're having a nice
retirement.
Yeah, exactly.
They're expensive pastureornaments and I love them
dearly.
So yeah.
(08:47):
And I know you, you loved horsesas well growing up and you had a
huge influence on.
On me and our family,gratefully.
And I was just going to say Iremember as a kid going to visit
Melissa, Uncle Cole and AuntMelanie and, in the summers, it
was beautiful.
It wasn't a million degrees likein Texas.
Yeah.
But the summers in Alberta weregorgeous.
(09:09):
Gorgeous.
And we would go to BAMF and wewould hike.
One year we had to build, helpbuild a porch or something like,
I remember, and I was a groomand I remember like falling
asleep in my dinner cause theexertion was a lot of work.
Yeah.
And then coming to visit and inthis and getting to ski and
loving that.
(09:30):
But I also remember, like skinfreezes in two seconds.
And I remember I was like, wait,what?
And it was always such anadventure.
And, I just wanted to, I'm sograteful that you introduced
Saddlebreads to us and showing,because I wasn't very athletic,
but I learned focus,determination, discipline.
(09:53):
I had this, you knew PattyMilligan.
She was one of my heroes.
She was my trainer in the Dallasarea.
The very first show in SanAntonio, I won.
And she was like, don't getcocky.
You are the best of the worst.
Like she was, sounds likesomething Patty would say.
And, one time she saw us, wemessed up right in front of the
judge and she was like, don'tgive up, make up for it.
(10:15):
I learned, some of these thingshappened like 40, a long time
ago, but she's one of thosepeople.
And I'm so grateful.
Real quick, I want to sharesomething I think you're just
going to love.
Are you an expert in your fieldand you know you need to be out
there more?
(10:36):
And maybe you've tried to dovideo but you really struggled
with it or you weren'tconsistent or you weren't happy
with your results, then weshould have a conversation.
I love helping people just likeyou make engaging, connected,
short form videos that havepeople lean in and want more.
(10:56):
Look for the link in the shownotes and we can set up a call
and see if this is the right fitfor you.
It's time to get yourself outthere and stop being the best
kept secret.
And we're back.
And a lot of that was have to dowith.
You guys sharing your love ofhorses and, Melissa, if
somebody's listening and theydon't know what an American
(11:17):
Saddlebred is, I know it's likethe only true American breed.
I believe so.
I, there may be others now, butoriginally they were bred in the
United States.
They started, as our country wasyoung and and then.
They were began breeding themwith select stock right about
(11:38):
the founding time, the time ofthe, I think the first
saddlebreds were, 1700s.
They wanted a horse that up tocivil war.
In fact, several of the UnitedStates generals road, I think
for both sides roads, and theywanted a horse that was
attractive that could do lightFarm work, during the day that
(11:59):
could pull the cart.
The carriage to church on theweekend, and be a, amiable and
attractive.
And then eventually these countyfairs, they call them, started
where they would, take theirbest horse and compete.
And that's where that, thatstarted from.
Yeah.
And then was it a combination oflike thoroughbreds?
(12:19):
Because I always think ofsaddlebreds as like these
beautiful, elegant, high necked,high stepping, beautiful,
they're just a gorgeous breed.
And I know you can probablydescribe it better.
No, that's, originally I believethey, they had the Morgan horse
was also a uniquely Americanbreed.
Okay.
So the story of Justin Morganhad a horse that's where the
(12:42):
Morgan horse got its name from.
So they did take the Morgans,they took some really good
thoroughbreds from England.
They called, it was aNarragansett pacer, which is a
little bit similar to what wecall a standard bred.
Those are the ones that.
trot and pace and harness.
Mostly.
Okay.
You'll see them on theracetrack.
So there was selection ofdifferent breeds to try to
(13:03):
create this This wonderful horsethat could be, like I said, both
a family horse and a show horseI have.
Two saddle breads here and onethat's a half saddle bread, half
region.
Who is, I'm in love with her.
I know you love her, but I'mlike, I'm second.
Like this mayor is so gorgeous.
Okay.
I could go on.
I'm, horse fanning here.
(13:25):
So you grew, you finishedgrowing up in Canada and then.
And then I know, you went tocollege a couple places and then
when did you, so you'd alwayscompeted and like I did, I
competed through, through highschool in, into college a little
bit.
Dad was at that point, you needto focus and not.
(13:46):
But I was determined to keepwriting.
So I did however I could, race,half lease, whatever.
I did go to Europe and did aninternship.
And that's when I, that's when Ifirst met an, and I had my first
experience writing an Andalusianhorse, which I also love.
And tell us about that.
That is a Spanish breed.
Yes, they're a Spanish breed.
(14:07):
Originally there, I thinkAndalusians and Arabians are
really the oldest two breeds ofhorses.
And they both evolved indifferent parts of the world,
but the Spanish horses.
Mostly obviously in Europe,Spain and then they branched out
from there and the Arabiansobviously south of there and so
(14:29):
the Moors, back during theCrusade days, the Moors were
typically mounted on Arabiansand the Spaniards and the the
Knights the Crusaders werepredominantly mounted on
Andalusians or some sort ofSpanish stock.
Today we have Andalusians andLusitanos, which are basically
the same breeds, but one's aPortuguese and one's Spanish.
(14:49):
But, Lipizzaners are alsorelated, they're derived from
Arabians.
And and so they were bred fordifferent types of warfare.
So when That, the knights wouldfight, fight the Moors.
They would they would have thesebig skirmishes and raids and
whatnot.
And the and the Arabian horsewas bred for Bedouin warfare
(15:11):
where you run, they're a fat,they're other than a race horse,
they have incredible, they havelarge noses.
They have they're very fast.
Tremendous endurance, even tothis day.
There's several different typesof end of Arabians that have
branched out, but they're veryfast and they're very quick,
(15:31):
typically not as large.
So they're, run in, steal whatyou need from the tent and get
out, and run as long as you haveto without water.
they have that, which is peopleuse them for endurance trail
rides to this day for thatreason.
And then the Spanish horses.
were a little rounder, a littlethicker, big, strong rear ends
and they were made for hand tohand combat.
(15:54):
You can imagine you have nightswith armor and so different
attire, different type offighting.
And that's where those, thebeautiful what they call high
school.
Which is classical Spanishdressage at the highest levels
where they do like the Corvetteand the Levade, these kinds of
things.
Those are basically derived frombattle moves when the horse is
(16:20):
doing like what we would call arear up, but that's a controlled
rear where they're back on theirhaunches and their front that
was to protect the night.
If he's being hit head on, thehorse would rear up and deflect.
Deflect the blow or the kickingmaneuvers that they would do
would be if they were beingattacked from the rear.
There's a lot of beauty to it.
(16:42):
But when you study it, that was,historically those moves.
Derived specifically frombattle, from, battle movements
of the 1500s, when you go to anymuseum and paintings of these
breeds, because that was, yeah.
If I was there, I would havebeen like, don't hurt the horse,
get the knight, don't stab thehorse, do the knight.
(17:07):
I would have such a hard timedoing that.
Yeah, but, that was a necessaryevil at the time, but yeah, I'm
always fascinated by like thehistory, and the breeds have
evolved and, I've learned everytime I get to hang out with you,
I learned so much about horses.
And for our listeners and ourviewers, there is a world
champion horse show inLouisville, Kentucky, and it is
(17:31):
basically like the Olympics ofAmerican Saddlebred, right?
Correct.
Saddlebred equitation andpleasure.
Those are competitions.
And it's equal to the Olympicsof dressage and hunter jumper,
but they don't, they haven'tgone fully Olympic, but they
could set the stage.
Cause you're so humble.
(17:52):
So Melissa, you have to be at acertain level to even apply and
go because it is very highlevel, very.
High stress.
And expensive.
You don't just go to Yeehaw, yougotta be at a certain level.
It's like the Boston Marathon.
You don't just show up, yougotta qualify.
Exactly.
And and you hear about theLouis, I've heard about it for
years.
It's on my bucket list to go.
(18:13):
So tell us about, the first timeyou went.
It, it was something that Ialways aspired to.
But then when we moved toCanada, then obviously I went to
the Canadian nationals there,that was there and that was
great fun years later I had, Iwas a.
I was married.
I had my first child and thesecond one and I started riding,
(18:36):
I continued to ride and Istarted riding again and I ended
up getting a horse that was alot nicer than I thought she was
going to be.
And then that kind of became adream.
And then the dream startedbecoming reality.
And I remember when my trainerout here and in Del Mar in
California, she was.
She's always been a very honest,brutally honest wonderful
(18:58):
person, great instructorinternational world class judge
and she said, if you win on theWest Coast consistently, then
It's justified that you go backeast to Kentucky and compete at
the World Grand Championships.
But if you're not winningconsistently, consistency,
(19:20):
consistently out here, don'twaste your money, don't waste
your time.
And and I kept, her name wasJolie, the mayor, her name was
Jolie Blanche, beautiful blonde.
She was a beautiful blonde, likeElaine, and she was dark rich,
red chestnut.
And she just kept getting betterand better.
She was a little temperamentalbut we figured her out.
(19:42):
And then when we started winningat the best shows out here I was
just enjoying myself and and mymom would show her in the
driving.
My mom liked to drive with thecart.
That was her thing.
And then one day my, yeah, my,my trainer, Ann said, I think
I'm going to take a few backeast this summer.
And, I think I think you guysare ready.
(20:04):
And I said, Oh my gosh, I wasall excited, and then I found
out, Oh, they were gonna fly thehorses, not drive them.
And then how much that was goingto cost.
And then, my parents and myhusband, my, he was.
He was disinterested because itwas expensive.
And then, and my parents were,always willing to fan the flames
of of fun and yeah, and passion.
(20:26):
And so my daughter was about, Ithink she was about seven at the
time and writing, and my sonwas, he would have been four and
and we all went.
We flew to Kentucky and Jolieflew and we flew separately.
Obviously they call it Air Forceone, the big plane that they
have.
They have no idea.
I had no idea that flies them towherever, kentucky, back East
(20:49):
overseas, but anyway, they callit Air Force one and they
literally trailer them to theairport.
Usually it's Ontario airport andtech Sutton Has a big outfit
that does that these planes arespecifically for the horses and
they trailer them, they get fromthe trailer to a ramp with high
sides and they get on in theirstall and off they go.
(21:11):
So we all went and I thought Iwas ready.
And first class, you've got togo in and the division I was
showing in was intenselycompetitive and they had, I
think they'd split the classlike three ways.
There was and each class had aton and it was awful.
It's like the best of the best.
And exactly.
And you know what?
(21:31):
These people now, many of them,are friends of mine, are
acquaintances of mine I'vematured, I've been back there
many times now, so it's not, I'mnot, star struck.
I thought, oh my gosh, that's soand oh my gosh, that's so and so
I was I was deaf and I thought,my gosh, you're, really?
Really?
Really?
(21:51):
Really?
But I was so overwhelmed and youget there.
And it's just, it's glamor.
It's a whole week plus ofnonstop horse show morning till
night.
And then you want to watch thework because the trainers will
bring the horses out late atnight and work them where they
didn't, no one's watching.
And of course you want to seepeople are lined up in their
(22:12):
golf carts, that and it's rightthere.
And it's absolutely exquisite.
Gorgeous.
It is a rush.
I mean there's concerts, there'sthe fair, there's the, It's
absolutely incredible how manypeople go to this, attend it,
it's, it's like nothing I'veever experienced.
They're valued at a quartermillion.
(22:34):
Oh, millions now.
It's incredible and even thenmaybe the highest price one was
maybe worth a million, but yeah.
And these people that I'm, oh mygosh.
And so here I am, first timethere, right?
And there's my little mare thatI bought for not a whole lot of
money.
And so we get all ready and theyopen the gate and we go in and I
just was, I'm not really surewhat I was doing.
(22:57):
I was just having a nice time.
I was smiling and we were goingaround and I was staying right
on the rail and all these horseswere all over the place.
And they're in there, you've gotthree judges.
But you still need to be seen.
If they don't see you, theycan't write you down.
And if they're not right, you goaround on the rail, walk, I was
(23:20):
on my own little merry go roundall the way around the outside.
And I remember going past mytrainer and I remember her
saying, you better wake up.
They haven't even seen you.
And I went, Oh.
And at that point I did wake upand I kind of maneuvered and my
ringsmanship started coming toplay and I put myself, in a
(23:42):
better spot to be seen and atthat point it was over.
I blew it.
And, but I had such amagnificent time.
It was an expensive lessonbecause if you don't get a
decent, if you don't get atleast six, you don't get to go
back in the championship.
So the bad news was I had alovely time and then I did
nothing for the rest of the weekexcept watch everybody else have
(24:04):
a good time.
And I thought, Oh my gosh, if Icould just, that old feeling, if
I could just do it again.
If I just had one more chance,if I, so yeah, it was a tough,
it was a tough lesson, but Ilearned it.
And the next time I went, I was,tell us about the next time.
And it was a few years it was afew years before I had the
opportunity.
Maybe I want to say maybe threeyears before I had the
(24:26):
opportunity again.
And a different mayor.
This was a different mayor, asimilar type, actually her barn
name was Blondie, believe it ornot.
And but she was a five gatedmayor.
And really quick.
So the people who don't knowfive gate, so most most horses,
hello, walk, trot, canter, andthen there's two man made gates
(24:48):
that are gorgeous.
One is a slow gate and then thefast version is the rack and
it's very staccato and it'sactually like you're gliding,
but the horses do all this work.
It's super smooth to ride whenit's done properly, but it's
yeah, and it's very fast and it,and not every saddle bread can
(25:08):
do it correctly.
It's a bigger, it's moreintense.
More things to go wrong.
More things to do right so tospeak.
So yeah, I, I had an opportunityand I we had done really well.
Blondie and I had done reallywell.
And yeah, we went back and wewon our division and then went
back and we're reserve worldgrand champion.
So we're world champion andreserve world grand champion.
(25:30):
But had I not had that firstexperience was a complete
failure other than that.
I had fun.
I wouldn't have been preparedand, I knew people more.
I had been going back and youweren't so green.
And yeah, you're on the railgoing around, but then you also
were like making specific cutsin front.
Exactly.
In an arena.
(25:51):
They call them the peacocks ofthe show ring, this breed.
And the reason is they are showhorses, the louder the child,
the cloud, the crowd cheers, thebetter they do.
And, in some breeds, like ifyou're at a very serious
dressage show, for example, ifyou're watching the Olympics, or
if you've watched a world gamesor anything like that, when
they're competing, you can heara pin drop, right?
(26:13):
Now.
When they've saluted the judgein there and it's over with yes,
people will cheer But it'sentirely different and this is
very much these horses areadrenaline junkies and they love
it and the louder the better andit gets loud there because
there's a lot of people andYeah, and so so it was a ton of
(26:34):
fun and I was very it was fun.
Yeah, that was a great fastforward and tell us about this
next.
Did you have another time thereas the world champion?
I did, I've had a couple and inthe meantime, my daughter was,
it has, she still is, she'sactually a trainer.
She and her husband have atraining barn back in Kentucky.
(26:56):
She took competitiveness to awhole new level and I stood
back, I took a back seat to, to,supporting her dreams and goals
because she was just, Supercompetitive and super gifted.
And so we, fostered that in, inher and went.
World cup with her, went toSouth Africa a couple of times
(27:18):
and competed there.
And she's won it at Louisvilleat the world grand champions
multiple times and three yearsin a row.
Yeah.
Three years in a row.
And which is not easy and one ofthe most competitive divisions
there is.
that was quite a, quite anaccomplishment.
And it's funny because the horsethat she accomplished it with
(27:38):
she was the last horse that mydaughter and my dad and I picked
out together.
And her name is divine asset.
Now she's technically worldchampion, world grand champion,
champion, divine asset.
She is.
Here in the, on the property.
She's been a brood mareremultiple times over.
We kept her retired her, she'sgot two world champion offspring
(28:01):
so far which is very exciting.
And we're hoping we can hit onemore.
And then she would add anotherrockola to her name, which she
would be a brood mare Hall offame.
She's not only was a, she was avery special horse in many ways
and a phenomenal ladies inladies, amateur five gated mare.
Not easy.
That was, she was another onethat taught my daughter some
(28:22):
very hard lessons at thebeginning.
They're, these are high strunghorses.
And she's very sensitive.
They're like Lamborghinis.
Yeah.
Big time.
And there's no, I remember.
I've been on her back a fewtimes now, but I had back injury
and whatnot.
So I didn't ride for a littlewhile, but my, one of my first
times back riding, I'd beenriding less than horses.
(28:44):
And then I went back to Kentuckyand the gentleman who's now my
son in law, Neil, and he was.
putting me on a couple horses inthe barn and I'm like, okay,
wow.
All right.
The whole different than alesson horse.
And and then he's you want towrite the gray mare?
Cause we call her peanut.
That's her barn name.
Divine asset.
Cause you want to, why don't youjust bunch stuff on the gray
mare?
And I thought, Oh, okay.
This is a big step up fromanything I've just watching her.
(29:08):
I knew this in a minute.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I am just now backwriting from, several years of
not being able to, and I justremember that she was, she's
incredibly kind.
You never get the feeling thatshe's one of these opportunists.
We were trotting around and Ithought my.
(29:30):
Gosh, what an adrenaline rushthis is, hang in there, Melissa,
don't embarrass yourself, so Iwas in a hop on baby.
Let's go.
And here we went.
And I've, I'm, think I'm doinggreat.
And Neil says, okay, you'redoing it.
Good job.
Good job.
And then he goes, just releasejust a little bit.
And I'm thinking, I know betterthan to hold this horse strongly
(29:54):
in her mouth.
Cause she's not going totolerate that.
She's very sensitive, but I'mlike, I don't feel like I'm
holding too much.
But I'm like, okay.
And I literally took my littlepinky and I swear I moved it
maybe a quarter of an inch.
Forward when he said that,because I was petrified, I would
never admit it to him, but I waslike, I don't, first of all, I
(30:15):
didn't want to mess the horseup.
Second of all, I didn't want tofall.
And so the slightest movementand it was like a cartoon, I was
going and it was.
Absolutely a blast, a completeblast.
But I thought, Oh my gosh,there's a huge engine in here.
I've never been on anything withthat much power, like a tempest
(30:41):
in a teacup because you couldtell it was there, but she was
very aware that she was being alady, which is not easy for her.
Then when I said, okay, let'sgo, then it was just like, Holy
smokes, so yeah, that was, Ilove that story.
It was fun.
(31:01):
Yeah, it really was.
I'm going to digress for asecond because this ties into
our journey with.
With the concept of this of thisexecutive leadership retreat and
including the horses and theenvironment of the ranch.
We were talking about.
The Spaniards and the Crusadersand the Moors and all that you
(31:21):
hear these stories about how,and pictures, it's the truth,
these Bedouins would take theirArabians into the tent with
them.
That's how closely connectedthey were with their horses.
These Spaniards, if you readabout Andalusian horses, they're
very much a one on one horse.
They look for somebody, oneperson to connect with in
general, other breeds are like,Oh, I can be your friend.
(31:44):
I can be your friend.
And they're a lot easier going.
You can think about it.
Okay.
If you're a knight and you'reoff and that's your life is in
your horse's hands.
Absolutely.
And you better be buddies andyou better trust that horse and
it better be absolute.
And so this, that's theevolution of, horses can.
(32:05):
adjust their heart rate.
You hear the thing that the, andit's true that if you're scared,
they know it, they do know it.
They pick up on that.
If you're aggressive, dependingon what your intentions are,
they pick up on it very quickly.
And like people, some horses area little more sensitive than
others, but Every horse has thecapability, and they have the
(32:26):
herd mentality.
That's how they grow up.
We've taken them, domesticatedthem, and put them in stalls,
right?
But in the wild, they're herdanimals.
And even, I call it my littleherd here, some of them are in
stalls, some of them are in akind of a more of an indoor
outdoor situation, but they'revery aware that's their group.
(32:47):
And there's a leader, there's amale leader, there's a female
leader.
And If you watch them at night,even if they're in a stall,
they're never all sleeping atthe same time.
So they watch somebody's onguard, even though I don't know
what they think is going to getthem here, but it's just
instinctual.
So keeping that in mind the herdis very in with each other.
(33:11):
So when we include ourselves inthat, The horses have an ability
to adjust their heart rate tohours from I believe it's, if
it's three feet, so if we walkup and we're stressed, they pick
up on that and they have theability to lower their heart
(33:35):
rate.
And cause our heart rate tolower as well.
And this is a medical fact.
You can Google what I'm sayingso that I'm, and so they're
huge, empathetic animals.
They're empaths to the core.
They're sensitive to the core.
So you take that animal that hasbeen domesticated along with us
(33:55):
for years.
We've got the Moors, we've gotthe Spaniards, then you've got
the conquest of the new world.
Development of Saddlebreds, likewe were talking about the Civil
War, where they were withsoldiers and they fought and
died on the battlefieldstogether.
And horses can really behealing.
(34:16):
And if you give them a chance,it's fascinating.
It's not only fascinating thatthey can help us.
If I'm, if I am sad, they knowit.
Immediately they know it.
And if I'm happy, usually I goup, I talk to him all the time.
If anybody had a camera on me,they think she's crazy.
(34:37):
I go up there.
I'm like, good morning.
They all have little pet names,I was talking to them too.
I was having so much fun.
Did you have a good night'ssleep?
Yeah.
And they respond to it.
And they have a lot to teach us,especially in this day and age.
And but they are very, there's areason they use them for
therapeutic writing.
There's a reason they use horsesfor wounded war, the wounded
(34:58):
warriors foundation and to healpeople that have gone through
severe trauma because it's ahuge.
Rush to connect with an animalthat's that strong and powerful
for one powerful and tender andsweet, right?
and what and the horse that youmight Connect with the most is
(35:18):
not maybe gonna be the one Iconnect with the most and the
one that I think oh godAnnoying, I can't quite connect
with that one.
And then somebody also walk upand they're just In their
pocket.
That's how it is.
They have a very special,intuitive gift.
And if we don't pay attentionand we, it's very easy to miss,
(35:41):
but that's really to me asimportant or more so than the
competitions.
And, my, my favorite Storiesthat are, recently are horses
that were very traumatized whenI got them from an auction or
had been abused neglected thosekinds of things.
(36:05):
And I love the rehabilitationprocess and also not just for
selfless reasons.
It helps me too.
I lost one recently that was a,I think he was almost 25 and I
had gotten him from a bankruptcyauction and he was at one time I
found out later a gorgeousAndalusian stallion that was
(36:27):
imported and paid a lot of moneyfor him as a baby and he just,
he fell into interestingcircumstances and he was just a
train wreck.
He was a hot mess.
When I got it and it took a lotof patience and a lot of time.
Yeah.
And a lot of, and a lot of loveand he was slow to trust, but if
(36:50):
you, if he was a real old souland when you gave him time, he
would tell you, he would tellstories, he would go, okay, I
have stuff to talk about today.
He would just walk right up andput his head down and just, you
could just tell he, he wassharing something and.
And yeah, that's our journey asa as a civilization, as people
(37:11):
with animals, our journey withthem and our history with horses
goes way, way back.
And so we can, use that if youwill gain from it, learn from it
and things can be applied to ourrelationships with other people,
our relationships in thebusiness world.
We all have that one, coworkerthat you're like, I know he's
(37:32):
not a bad guy or I know she'snot a bad cow.
I know she's good at her, but wejust don't get along.
We don't see the boss.
Yeah, your boss.
It's Oh, and it's but sometimesif you put a little different
effort into it, and sometimes aspeople, we don't always realize
what we're projecting to otherpeople.
(37:53):
And so it teaches us, okay,sometimes you have to adjust our
heart rate, adjust our essence,adjust our energy to, to others
so that we're not either as sointimidating or so that we have.
We're coming into our powerversus stepping back, so there's
a lot to be learned in.
I love it.
And, Melissa's place is sobeautiful.
(38:15):
It's this beautiful home on thisin the foothills.
And there's this, there's ahorse track.
All through the town and hikingand it's just beautiful and then
she has this magnificentbackyard where she's sitting now
with an outdoor stove and barand there's lots of places to
(38:37):
sit.
We're going to have campfiresand be under the stars and then
out further back up the hill iswhere the horses are on premise.
And where we're going to be inthe stalls and in the corral
with them, working with themwith our hands and our voices.
And it's this process called atliberty, which is mind blowing.
(39:01):
And.
It's just, it's such a magicalthing.
And I forgot to tell you this,Melissa, I used to always be I
want to ride, I want to ride andso when I first met shadow, who
is this magnificent Friesianblack stallion, black beauty.
And stallions are like, I'm astud, And most signs that I've
(39:22):
met are jerks, you're like, Oh,he's pretty right.
Stay back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, but shadow was like thismagnificent creature, but he had
this sweet, so he would nuzzleyou and you might nip at you a
little bit, but it was all inplay.
And yeah, I was.
mesmerized by him.
And I didn't even realize it.
(39:43):
Cause I remember, I was here andthen we brought my friend Neil,
we were trying to teach him andwe're doing a bunch of different
things.
And we only had three days andthis is right before COVID.
But I remember I just had thesemoments with him and I had all
these pictures where I'm just,and I had never had that
experience from the ground andWhen I went back to the East
(40:03):
coast, I could not stop talkingabout shadow.
My yoga friends were like, youare so in love.
And he has a huge fan base.
That's for sure.
He did.
Everybody fell in love with him.
But I realized like I had ahealing, interacting with these
horses, just being around them.
Not even, we got to ride, butthere was a connection that I
(40:24):
had never connected before.
And then I experienced thatagain when I was, and I was
like, Oh my gosh, we have to doa retreat here.
This is going to be amazing.
I am so excited.
Melissa is a fabulous hostess.
The property is gorgeous.
Thank you.
That's a huge compliment.
Yeah.
It is just a beautiful space andthese horses are so magical.
(40:47):
Even though, unfortunately wehave lost our beloved shadow in
JP, the president looking downon us.
And we have lots of otherbeautiful ones.
We have I forget what is theAnna?
What's the one Arabella.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Shadow's daughter.
Yeah.
He's so hot.
She is half saddle bread and allheart and feist and fire.
(41:11):
And then her beautiful mother,who is Ella.
I don't know why.
Anyway, she is a sweetheart.
Anyway I'm so delighted andwe're going to, we're going to
have so much leading up to theevent and then the four days on
property in deep, a bubble oftransformation and.
(41:33):
Time with energy and time toyourself and, the promises
you're going to leave filled up,ready to go, ready to serve,
huge breakthroughs andconfidence, leadership, energy
management, and really a newlevel of being able to be an
authentic leader.
Next level.
(41:53):
Is there anything you want toadd to that?
Melissa?
I don't, Everything you said isjust spot on and I think it's
like you said it's a uniqueconcept.
It's a unique experience and I'mvery excited for us to embark on
this journey and and I thank youfor your compliments about the
property and my host is seeingabilities.
(42:16):
And but it is a very graciousproperty and it's got a very
special energy and which is whatdrew me to it originally.
The horses love it here.
And people love it here.
People come and they don't wantto leave which is a compliment.
I never want to leave every timeI come up.
I know.
I, and that's a good thing.
That's how you want.
(42:37):
Places to be, so yeah, and we'vegot lots of fun things to do.
We have lots of hiking plannedand some of it will be optional
in case you need time to processit and we'll be doing Q and A's
as we're leading up to it.
And it's the second weekend inMay.
So that Thursday through Sunday,I want to say like the 8th
through the 11th.
(42:58):
So hold that sounds right.
And we've got the links comingsoon.
And there'll be some Q and A'sthat we're doing.
And yeah it's magical.
Give yourself this gift butMelissa, thank you so much for
coming on the episode and I'mgoing to have your stuff in the
show notes that people want toreach out to you.
You're awesome.
Thanks.
Many other fabulous projectsgoing with real estate and your
(43:22):
script writing and productplacement.
Yes.
Many hats.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Bye.
Okay.
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