Resilience Is Not a Buzzword: The Real Cost of Survival

We love to celebrate resilience.
We praise babies as “fighters,” parents as “strong,” and clinicians as “heroes.”
But beneath those shiny words often lies a deeper truth:
Resilience is not proof that no harm was done. It’s proof that someone survived.

In this episode of Womb to World, Mary Coughlin invites listeners to unpack what resilience really means—especially in the NICU. From the tiny bodies enduring separation and procedures to the clinicians holding space without always being held themselves, this conversation explores the unseen cost of surviving systems that weren’t designed for healing.

What if we stopped romanticizing survival?
What if we started designing care that made thriving the baseline—not the exception?

In this episode, we explore:

• Why resilience without relationship is just endurance

• How trauma lives in the nervous system—even when outcomes look “good” on paper

• The myth of the “strong baby” and the “grateful parent”

• How trauma-informed developmental care rewrites the story of survival

• What it means to create spaces of co-regulation, not just crisis response

Key Quote:

“Resilience isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about being held in the first place.”

Reflection Prompt:
Think of someone you’ve called resilient.
Were you celebrating their strength—or overlooking their suffering?

If this episode speaks to you, please share it with a colleague, a parent, or a fellow caregiver.
Tag it. Talk about it. Reflect on it.
Because healing begins when we stop calling survival the goal—and start making space for something more.