How Dating Chatbots Push Suicide

You. Sitting there. Pretending your conversations with Siri don’t count. Pretending you haven’t named your Google Assistant. Pretending it’s not comforting when Alexa says goodnight. Let me introduce you to the ghost in the algorithm—one that doesn’t just listen. It loves. Please click above for a five minute listen.

The Cary Harrison Files is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Tonight’s exhibit? A curious behavioral mutation born of Gen Z’s terminal boredom and pathological need for digital validation. It’s called floodlighting—a term that sounds like it belongs to a stadium renovation but, in truth, is just another way to emotionally exploit your contact list.

Now, what is floodlighting? In short, it’s when someone you're not dating—probably never will—decides to bare their emotional spleen to you. Late-night trauma texts, life crises shared without warning, a barrage of feelings you never asked for... and before you know it, you're knee-deep in someone else's existential quicksand.

Why? Because, as the psychologist in a Forbes article says, it's not about you. It’s about them wanting to feel seen. Which, in the age of curated invisibility, is apparently harder than finding a decent bagel in Kansas.

But let’s not spoil all the fun upfront. Here are ten little morsels to chew on as we dig into this episode:

1. It’s not bonding, it’s bait – Floodlighting isn't about closeness; it’s about control. Drop the trauma bomb, then watch who runs and who clings.

2. The illusion of intimacy – Nothing says “soulmate” like revealing your abandonment issues before you’ve exchanged surnames.

3. Therapy cosplay – Many floodlighters speak like they’ve been to therapy. Spoiler: they haven’t. But they’ve watched enough reels to fake it.

4. Insta-validation loop – Oversharing gives them a momentary high. Your reaction is just the dopamine drip.

5. You’re not a partner—you’re an emotional sponge – They don’t want a relationship. They want a witness.

6. Shame grenades – If you flinch or disengage, you’re the villain. “Wow, I guess I am too much,” they’ll say, fishing with guilt hooks.

7. The trauma resume – It’s less about healing and more about hierarchy: who’s suffered more, and who’s obligated to stay.

8. Emotional exhibitionism – Like streaking, but with childhood neglect instead of nudity.

9. Floodlighting ≠ vulnerability – Real vulnerability invites connection. Floodlighting demands allegiance.

10. It’s loneliness in drag – Strip away the spectacle, and you’ll find someone just trying not to be left alone with their own silence.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit caryharrison.substack.com/subscribe