Power Moves: Asking for Help in Your CEO Journey - Solo Episode

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In this vulnerable solo episode, Julie DeLucca-Collins shares the story of her first year as a Vice President. This season was marked by burnout, perfectionism, and a costly mistake that taught her the value of asking for help. If you’ve ever felt like success should be handled solo, this episode is a must-listen. Julie unpacks the lie that “I should be able to handle it” and reveals 5 transformative lessons to help you release the pressure and step into empowered leadership.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why “doing it all” is costing you more than you think
• The myth of perfectionism (and how it holds us back)
• How to make “micro-asks” and build the muscle of support
• How asking for help can actually build your credibility as a leader
• What happened when Julie dropped the balls — and what she tells her past self now

Links + Resources:
📩 DM Julie on Instagram or email her via GoConfidentlyCoaching.com
  📚 Check out Confident You the book

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Are you juggling success but secretly struggling?
In this solo episode, I'm takingyou back to a moment in my life
when perfectionism cost meeverything.
My health, my relationships, amulti-million dollar contract.
And if you've ever felt weigheddown by doing it alone, this

(00:24):
episode is for you.
I'm Julie DeLuca Collins and Iam the founder of Go Confidently
Services.
And again, this space is forwomen who are entrepreneurs or
high achievers and want tocontinue to build their
confidence so they can create animpact in the world.
And this is the type of videothat I love to share here in the

(00:44):
channel or on my podcast, CastOut the Confidence, because many
of you may just be listening andI love that.
The first thing is there is alie that And I'm gonna be
unpacking five points.
Number one, you don't have to doit all.
Number two, you need to learnhow to ask for help.

(01:05):
And of course, actually receivethat help because we struggle
with all of that.
And the lie is, I should be ableto handle this.
How many times have you saidthat to yourself?
I know I say it to me all thetime.
Oh, I got this, or I'll figureit out.
And I'll figure it out.
has helped me and served me inso many ways.

(01:28):
But in other ways, it's kept meback.
It's helped me fall on my faceand stumble.
I wanna tell you that there's amyth that asking for help is a
sign of weakness.
And I know that many men feelthis, but for high achievers,
I'm there.
And at times, asking for helphas been the last thing that I

(01:51):
do.
I got a promotion back in 2008and I finally got the VP title.
And I was so excited becauseI've been working long hours,
long days at sacrifice, beingwith my family.
I was in a marriage that wasfailing mainly because also I
was traveling a lot and notinvesting into that

(02:13):
relationship.
I also had my health suffering,but...
I was thrilled that I got thepromotion because I finally
arrived and I had worked my assoff for that.
The thing is that in the middleof getting that promotion, I
didn't take a beat.
I went right back to doing itall, working hard and not

(02:37):
realizing that I needed to beokay with not having it
together, that I needed to beokay with not knowing that how
to be a VP.
That was the first time I wasbecoming a VP.
But in my brain, I had thisexpectation that I already had
to be a do it and that Icouldn't let people know that,

(02:58):
well, I wasn't doing it or Iwasn't showing up in the way
that I thought I should beshowing up.
Eventually, you know, there is areal cost for doing it alone.
And for me personally, Backthen, the real cost came just
stumbling out and reallycreating just, well, a perfect

(03:24):
shit storm to say the least.
Number one, you know, my storyis not unique.
I think that so many of us thinkthat when we get to this level,
when we have a level of success,that I should have it together.
But we don't have to have ittogether.
This is really something that wewill gain the confidence of what

(03:47):
we're doing when we fail, whenwe are ready to stumble and be
okay with stumbling, which somany of us, and for me, I hated
that.
My perfectionist really masks myfear of people finding out that
I don't have it together.
My perfectionist also is verycommon and it's not unique to

(04:10):
me.
And perhaps you've been in myshoes in which you don't want
people to know that behind thefacade or the happy phase, there
is someone who is barely keepingit together, barely keeping it
together.
I remember I used to get up inthe morning And I would snooze

(04:32):
and go back to bed, get back tobed and finally would get up and
I had to do a mad rush to get towork.
And I got there and it was hitthe ground running and I was
doing it all.
And when someone would say, hey,what about this project?
How's that going?
I would say, oh my God, it'sgreat.
Don't worry about it.
I'm going to show you.

(04:52):
And then all of a sudden I wouldwalk away back into my office
and think, holy crap, I need toget that done or I need to work
on that.
And And it seemed like I had anendless list of to-dos.
And I never stopped to think,what is the to-don't in here?
What are the don'ts that I maybeneed to take off my plate and

(05:14):
give to somebody else?
I ended up becoming someone thatwas very nasty to other people
that I worked with.
I was not very pleasant when Iwas out of work because I was
exhausted or sick.
I didn't want people to help meor to see that I didn't have it
together because I felt thatthey would think less of me.

(05:38):
I felt that they would think,oh, okay, she doesn't deserve
this promotion or look at her.
She really doesn't belong here.
And of course, you know, there'sso many deep things that go into
that.
But the real cost for so many ofus is not just that we are

(05:58):
taxing ourself, our well-being,or even our relationships.
But the real cost is that in thelong term, what we're doing is
not sustainable in any level.
And my career, this was adefining moment in which I

(06:19):
learned the lesson.
And I remember When I lost thiscontract and everything came to
pass, that things weren't done,deadlines weren't met, and that
staff had not been hired, andlong story short, my boss asked
me one simple question.
And my boss was the founder ofthe company, the CEO, and she

(06:40):
was really writing that thecompany was going to be able to
expand because of this contract.
And she asked me the question,that, and I never will forget,
we were sitting in a restaurant,we were in Texas, and there was
music playing.
And of course, you know, thepeople that we were working with

(07:01):
brought to light that they werenot going to renew this contract
with us.
And they outlined all thedifferent reasons why they were
not going to move forward.
And as I sat there listening,every time they said the things
that had fallen short, Iimmediately thought, I am

(07:22):
unworthy.
I suck.
I am terrible.
And all those inability to hitthe mark for that contract were
not about the work that didn'tget done.
It was about me not beingenough, about me not measuring
up.
And when it was all said anddone, my boss asked, why didn't

(07:43):
you ask for help?
Why didn't you ask for help?
And I didn't really have ananswer.
I didn't really have an answerbecause asking for help was
something that never occurred tome.
Why?
And by the way, I had staff thatI could rely on, staff that I

(08:03):
love, that I trusted, and forthe most part had a good
relationship with until Istarted to really go in this
binge of trying to be perfect inthis new position.
And as I look back now, I seethat I was juggling all these
balls in the air, but I didn'teven know how to juggle.

(08:25):
And when the balls were falling,I wasn't asking people to help
me pick them up or letting themknow that they had fallen.
I was just sweeping them underthe rug and trying to pick up
another ball to say, look at meand look how great of a juggler
I am.
And how many times do you dothat in your life?
I wanted to reflect.
I want you to reflect.

(08:46):
And I want us to really cometogether and think about this
and stop and pause.
Because when we juggle the ballsand they're dropping and we're
not letting others know thatthey're dropping, there is a
cost.
What is the cost of those ballsdropping?

(09:06):
For me, one of those balls, notonly was it for that contract,
for my job, for the company, butit was my health.
I was eating terrible.
I was not sleeping.
I would binge watch televisionwhen I had time off.
I was not spending time outside,much less exercising.
And that was a big cost.

(09:29):
And today, as you're trying tobe perfect, as you're trying to
do all the things, and as you'retrying to keep it together,
right?
Ask yourself, what is this goingto cost me if I keep going this
way?
I want to encourage you that asyou figure out what the silence

(09:50):
of not asking for help iscosting you, that you begin to
think that perhaps you don'thave to, you know, delegate at
all.
You don't have to ask forsomeone to do it all or let
everyone in and know that, oh mygosh, I don't have it together.
But perhaps you take theopportunity to open up a little

(10:11):
bit.
to say, okay, I'm going to do amicro ask.
I want to give you permission toask people for just a small
thing.
Maybe you want to ask someone tohelp you with the dishes.
or unloading the dishwasher orfeeding the dogs.

(10:32):
And by the way, this issomething that came about
because today I was in themiddle of putting together a
proposal for a prospectiveclient.
I had just gotten off a greatrecording.
And this morning I spoke tothese wonderful clients who I
just love to work with.
And they're doing some wonderfulthings in the world.
They're getting ready to publishtheir book.

(10:53):
And as I was...
doing all the things.
And I saw that it was sixo'clock and dinner had not been
made and I still needed tofinish what I was doing.
And my dog was crying.
I realized that I started to getangry with the dog because he
was crying because he washungry.
And then I gave myselfpermission to say to Dan, hey,

(11:16):
can you feed the dogs?
Because I got angry that he wasgetting ready to go and like
snooze for a And this is thething that sometimes we do.
We go on about our lives beingupset at others because we
assume that they should know thething.
We assume that they already knowthat we're asking for help or

(11:38):
that we need help, but Dandidn't know what I was working
with, didn't know what was on mytask to do, didn't know what my
day has been like.
So it's very important to beable to say, hey, honey, help
me.
Or, hey, neighbor.
Can you pick up my mail?
Or maybe I need to ask someoneto help me with do laundry.

(11:59):
Or maybe I need to ask someone,I'm going to barter with you.
I am terrible at social media.
You're great, but you'reterrible at planning.
How about we do some barteringand we help each other?
Or maybe I go into a co-workingspace with other incredible
entrepreneurs and I say, hey,I'm struggling with this.
Does anybody know how to dothat?

(12:21):
Yeah, asking for help isprobably the last thing you want
to do if you are the one who'salways kept it together, if you
are the one who's always used toachieving things, if you are the
one that has a high expectationfor yourself.
Imperfection is part of thegame.

(12:44):
Imperfection is our life.
And when we think that we haveto keep it together because what
are others going to think?
Or I don't want people to seethat I'm broken or that I don't
have it together.
It becomes this bigger burdenthan it really needs to be.
You know, let's normalize andlet's build a muscle where we

(13:09):
are okay with the discomfortit's going to take to ask for
help.
And I sit back and I take myselfback into that moment where I
sat in that restaurant and I waskind of humming to myself and I
felt my cheeks getting so redbecause I felt so ashamed that I
had really messed up.

(13:31):
And I take myself back and Itell that woman and I tell that
girl, Julie, it's okay to askfor help.
It's going to be hard to ask forhelp.
And you're not going to feelgreat asking for help because
you're not used to getting help.

(13:51):
But that's exactly what I did isI said, well, I need you to help
me.
I need you to help me organizethis.
So rewrite the narrative.
Ask for help because asking forhelp is empowered leadership.
Reframe the stories that youhave.

(14:12):
Reframe and delegate,collaborate and communicate to
others.
These things are the tools thatwe can put into our toolbox that
create us as better CEOs.
You know, nobody is the perfectCEO, but the journey is helping
us build the confidence tobecome better than before,

(14:34):
right?
So remind yourself that askingfor help is a strength, not a
weakness.
And it is the bridge that takesyou to sustainable success.
Now, I'm going to ask you to, ifthis resonates with you, share
it with someone who you maythink may be struggling with not

(14:57):
asking for help.
Number two, I do want to hearfrom you, right?
If you're carrying a load, ifyou're doing something all on
your own and you're not evensure how to ask for help or who
to ask for help, you don't haveto white knuckle it on your own.
Send me a DM or an email, go tomy website,
goconfidentlycoaching.com andlet me know what your thoughts

(15:19):
are on this.
Because my friends,perfectionism is a mirror.
Perfectionism is a myth.
And asking for help is going tobe the one thing that perhaps we
can do differently that willhelp us in our journey to
confidence.
And when we reach the level thatwe want in our confidence, guess

(15:46):
what?
Other people come alongside ofus.
Other people will be encouragedand inspired by you taking the
lead.
So until next time, don'tforget, go confidently in the
direction of your dreams.