I love you buuuuubs

hihihihihi

Episode Transcript

(00:07):
Do you want to make a podcast? Fuck, is that copyrighted?
I don't think so. I think it falls under parody
law. Or make a little TV show.
I could make ATV show. Or also a big poop things that
people make. I was going to go to sculpture,
but that. Before bread cookies it was.

(00:28):
Too much of an escalation. Too fast, Yeah, it felt too
much. I was at improv class, which I
keep having to say the words. I was at improv class.
What's wrong with saying Improv I?
It's, it's like it's, it's an internalized thing for me is
that I like, I feel as deep sense of shame around the fact
that I like improv so much because I was judged for it so

(00:49):
often. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that
comedy sports thing. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Is like comedy.
Sports is like deep cringe, but it's it's not.
It was wonderful, people. It was.
Well, there you go. Huge part of my development.
So what? I'm not shit for all the time.
Like improv comedy gets shit on a lot.
You do people shit on you for doing improv comedy?
I mean, they wouldn't dare, but I feel, I feel like I have to

(01:11):
like either I can like lean intoit or I have to constantly
defend improv comedy. And maybe I should become an
improv comedy apologist. But.
I think you'd be like a person where like, oh, if she does
improv comedy, then it must be pretty.
Fucking cool. It is cool.
It's cool as fuck. And I just started taking a new
class and there's a bunch of like really interesting people
in it who I'm like genuinely excited to get to know.

(01:33):
Like they're cool. Like there's cool people and
there's like this one guy, He's a teacher.
He's a, he's a middle school teacher and his we'll call him
Dan. I don't remember his actual
name. It might actually be Dan.
Know that I think about it. It's fine.
Hi, Dan. Hi, Dan.
But no, he's a middle school teacher and he just wants to be
able to like relate better to the kids.

(01:53):
So he's using his entire summer vacation to take a bunch of
like, theater and improv classes.
He like, doesn't want to be a performer, like has no desire to
like be in the industry at all. He's just like, I just want to
be able to like think on my feetbetter as a teacher.
And so he's spending his entire summer vacation taking like 5
different classes a week. That's so badass.

(02:14):
That is pretty. Badass.
So nice. That is super fucking badass.
You know what I mean? OK, Bubs.
What? I was just thinking, no, I feel
like you're making fun of me. No, I'm super nice.
I just thought of something veryexcited about what?
First off, I just want to point out that I think the best
possible type of middle schoolerto be is to be a middle schooler

(02:34):
who is in a class taught by a teacher who just spent the
entire summer doing Yeah. Improv classes.
I want to be that kid like that.I want to be that 12 year old
because then I'm going to sign up for improv classes.
Do you think he's going to tell them?
I don't know, I, I kind of want to talk to him after class and
be like, you should like especially like theater kids.
You know how like, even when you're like, like theater, like

(02:55):
theater kid is, is like it's an identity you're born with.
You don't, you don't have to be in theater classes to be a
theater kid. You don't you really especially
like, like you will you meet people in your life and you're
like, that's theater kid. Like it's, it's like an identity
and you can develop it. You know, you can improve your
skills as like an improviser or a theater maker.

(03:17):
You can learn how to do light and design.
You can learn how to design costumes really effectively.
But like theater, kids are born,not made.
That's fucking awesome. I feel like a lot of people are
going to get mad at me for saying that I.
Don't know I'm I'm just. Feeling it's inherent even like
the shy even shy kids you like find their way to theater.
They still have a vibe. They have a theater kid vibe.
You're like, you're going to make a bunch of theater fronts

(03:40):
in, in high school and you are going to become so happy.
Like I, I don't know, I work like I used to work with kids a
lot and it was like I had like that was, it was stronger than
my gaydar. Are you very what's?
What's that Venn diagram look like?
Of oh, it's, it's smaller than you would think.
Like, you know, sometimes there's like really obviously

(04:00):
gay kids, but there's a lot of like, you know, just kids who
are doing their thing. They're not worrying about boys
or girls when you think they're going to sign up for improv.
When you when you talk about theater kids, do you all?
Are you also including crew? Yes.
You're talking about like crew lighting?
Yeah, fucking set, people. Yeah, the I mean.
The same. Personalities where you're like

(04:21):
you are going to be a performer,like you're going to be on the
performance side, but there's also some kids where you're like
you were going to make the most amazing techie you were going to
be. Techie, that's the most.
Powerful fucking stage manager of all time.
Like you are going to run your department.
Like I love those kids. I see myself in those kids,
they're usually wearing like a camo jacket and have like an

(04:43):
enamel pin collection. Absolutely love shrinky dinks.
Shrinky dinks. Super interesting dinks.
Really good bags though. The bags on those kids.
The bags, the patches. The patches.
The patches on the bags of thosekids.
Oh yeah, all the little pouches along the bags with little buns
on. They look like a Rob Liefeld
drawing. Yeah, or like the, the ones
real, the, have you seen the backpacks that have like the

(05:04):
window? It's got like the window
opening, like it's got like a like a clear window and then you
put your enamel pins in the window.
So they're backpacks designed toshowcase one's enamel pin
collection. That's awesome and I love that.
That is really awesome. I'd love to hear the the lineage
of the person who thought of that.
Right, like. No one would fucking sell 'cause
I want one. Yeah, you're really.

(05:25):
I just want a place to carry about my enamel pins.
'Cause I so I've been called a theater kid before and I did.
You have theater kid energy. I I suppose I do.
Yeah, I am. That's what I'm saying.
I did 1 high school show. I did ragtime.
My people call it ragtime. So good.

(05:48):
My freshman year, first semesterof my freshman year in high
school. Also, fun fact, the even fellows
who ain't too clever can do pushone button or pull one lever.
That song, the choreography of that is you have to go down on
your knees and then get back up from your knees very fast.
And we learned that choreographythe day after my friends and I
decided to sneak on the roof of the middle school and learn

(06:10):
parkour. And by learn parkour, I mean
just jump for shit and pretend we're getting better at it.
And so the next day I was a dead, like I was a dead person
and I was 14. Like I was, I could take a
beating, you know, I 'cause I was a very hammy kid.
You were a jumping off a skateboarding guy.
Skateboarding guy, Yeah, I was. I was very much like Bruce

(06:31):
Cambley. I was always willing to slap,
stick it up and, you know, throwmy body into slash off of stuff
for a laugh. Still am by the way.
Good to know. If you were looking for somebody
on Bruce Campbell of your own, call this fucking call Eric.
Good. Oh, so the next day, like going
down on my knees for that fucking and getting back up.
I couldn't like, I couldn't get back up.

(06:52):
And it was my first thing, like my first show, my first
choreography thing. And at the time I didn't know I
was, I was 14. But like, I was like, maybe I'm
a theater guy. Maybe this is the first time I
meet some people who are become mentors to me, you know?
So like, I gave a lot of fucks about what the director thought
of me and I couldn't do it. And I remember thinking, fuck,
he's going to think that I'm just a shitty dancer from now on

(07:13):
because of fucking parkour, dude.
I mean, it was 2007. Parkour was fucking awesome.
I've never been a good dancer. I'm what they.
Yeah. So there is dancing, acting and
singing. And if you have all three,
you're what's known as a triple threat.
Triple threat. But I am what they call a strong
mover, which is code for you're a shit dancer but sometimes

(07:34):
you're going to have to step touch in the back.
Like. A strong it's like that's like
theater code for you can't fucking dance.
Like I'm a I'm a mover. I'm not a dancer.
Awesome. No, that's awesome.
I'm so glad that there's a there's.
Like a whole genre of people in theater who are like that and I
am one of them. I can't.
I'm the shittiest dancer I've never met.

(07:55):
Like I was I was the the narrator in The Best Little
Whorehouse in Texas, which is a dance heavy show.
The best little. The best little whorehouse
Whorehouse. Was this in high school?
No, it was college. Oh, OK.
I was so sad. But I was the narrator and
because I could play the harmonica, this is the only
reason I got the role was because I was able to play the
harmonica so I could come out onstage and and play the fucking

(08:17):
songs. Oh.
Shit, do you still play the harmonica?
I still play the harmonica. Are you a?
Sneaky little fucking harmonica player.
You know that I play. The harmonica.
I acquired 2 harmonicas while you were gone.
Oh my God. Really?
Yeah. Cool.
I don't know where either of them are.
God, I was going to get excited,but yeah, no, I played the
harmonica. But anyway, so like, but I was
such a bad dancer and they had me front and center in a lot of
the original choreographers because I was the narrator.

(08:39):
So I was like just the guy and Iwas like around.
I was like this omnipotent fucking God of the show.
And so then they ultimately had they redesigned the set to build
a balcony that I would stand on and just do hand gestures.
Like this? Because I was such a bad dancer
that they're like, we can't havethis bitch on stage.
They literally had to pull me out of the dance numbers because

(09:00):
I was so bad. Worked out well for you.
You got to be in a cool floaty thing and.
And I yeah, I did get a stand ona cool balcony.
That's pretty cool, yeah. In my fucking in ragtime, I was
JP Morgan and Collins, whose last name I'm forgetting right
now was Henry Ford. And so we were like the two rich
guys in the Henry Ford song. I'm JP Morgan, my friends, the

(09:22):
wealthiest man on this Earth that.
Was really good. You know, but, oh, and we were
supposed to come down on a big suspended thing because our
director was a guest director was apparently a very like, well
known and good director. And he told the story about how
he was at like a cool director people party.
And somebody asked him, directorpeople party, you know, a

(09:45):
director people where all the director people go.
Yeah. You know, he was talking about
how he was talking to somebody there about how he was directing
Ragtime. He was super stoked about it and
they were super stoked about it.And then when he said it was a
high school production, they're like eyes glazed over.
And he was like, he was telling all of this and he was like, so
like, right then I was like, fuck you.
Like I'm going to put on this isgoing to be the shit.

(10:06):
Like you're going to fucking, this is going to be the standard
of how ragtime is fucking performed.
So we got like a real Model T, which was fucking sweet.
We had all we it was, it was sweet.
We were supposed to have a big balcony thing come down with me
and Colin, who's now married to the girl I had a crush on at the
time. Congratulations to the kid.
Congratulations. Congratulations.

(10:28):
We were supposed to come down onthe thing and they cut it right
before. We never actually got to do it.
Like I don't remember why but they cut it.
I'm so sorry so. Anyways, RIP, I was almost also
on a cool balcony thing. And how was it?
Was it? It was magical and amazing.
It was, it was, it was arguably really funny just because I
would have like these hand motions that I would do and that

(10:49):
was like, and every so often I got to like step touch and that
was it. And I was just like, God damn,
I'm such a bad dancer. And everybody like never, they
never said it out loud. Like they started off with me
like front center. Then they're like, maybe
actually, you know what, Kate, we're going to have you switch
rows. They would always switch rows
and they'd be like, actually, you know, Kate, I think we're
going to pull you from the center because you know, you're
pretty tall. So we're going to just go ahead.

(11:10):
We're going to put you off the side.
It's going to help with the likethey would just progressively
remove me further and further from each dance number until it
was like, actually, you know what?
I think we're gonna actually have you off stage for this one.
And you know, but like and. If you go down the street,
there's a bus station. Yeah, they were.
Like you can. Sing there you were gonna have
you singing from the wings, so we'll have you on live Monday.
Singing from the Wings I. Remember that?

(11:31):
But yeah. Singing.
Would people actually sing from the wings?
Yeah. Really.
Yeah. Oh, we never sang from the
wings. Well, sometimes you have to
because then it like it fills upthe chorus.
But it also depends. On the show singing from the
wings. It's where you are like you're
not on stage during a number butespecially if there's like a lot
of dancers but they need the sound to be more full, they'll
have like the non dancers stand off stage and singing live so

(11:53):
you get the like harmonies and shit.
That's a really good idea. Yeah.
I always remember our director would like mention it like when
remember we need to be singing in the way and we just never
would because we were. You would never sing in the You
didn't do what your director told you to do.
No, not then. Gasp.
Theater kids. He was never.
Like watching, that's fine. I, I didn't yet have that thing

(12:14):
in me that I gained in kitchens where it's like there's one
person who is the person I listen to and I do whatever they
say. That came later in my life.
I wasn't there yet. It was there's like a lot of Tik
Toks that are just imitations oflike high school theater
directors. Where you going?
Does he not be right in the show?
I look at her. Dog, what's going on?

(12:35):
Q lay down bails. I know the neighbor dogs barked.
I'm so sorry. Yes Q lay down.
She says no shot now it's fine. Podcast Dog.
Podcast Dog. Best Podcast.
Yeah, and if you're not watchingon YouTube, then how are you
even going to see the dog in theshot?
Get on over here youtube.com/katie Asaurus.

(12:58):
See she even podcast. Are you doing her job?
Oh shit bubs. You know what's weird about
having the camera not be in front of me on a screen is we
can do camera takes now. Bills, can you, can you do a
take? Can you look over that way?
Bills look, Yeah. Nice job all.
Right bud, just give me a cameratake.

(13:18):
You scare Billy off. She was so cozy.
Serious. Sorry to Bills.
Sorry. Billy, that's why I freaked her
out. But.
Ragtime is the only musical you've ever done.
Yeah, even at like, interlockingand stuff.
Yeah. Oh, I guess 'cause you were like
busy being talented on the guitar.
Sorry, I was really when somebody gives you a compliment,

(13:40):
you go kind of rude to them too.Isn't it a little bit?
I was going to cry myself. That was very nice of you,
right, That was, but no, I neverdid.
I it's all very segmented there.I was actually one of my
proudest moments as an actor. If that's I mean.
An actor. Was sorry Helen, I know what

(14:00):
that software can do. I can just read through this and
see if I can. Cut that.
That's fair. It's.
Amazing, I don't have to look atthe thing anymore.
I love that for you. Was when Mr. Shaheen shout out
to Mr. Shaheen showed up to one of my art classes.
I was taking a painting class when I didn't show up, sign up
for the next musical, which was the Music Man.
I think he came into class and said, can I talk to Eric?

(14:26):
And I was like, yeah, what's up?And he was like, please sign up
for the next the next. Show Oh my God, what's it like
to be a tall boy in high school getting approach for the musical
I. Know that's looking back on it.
People thought it was a theater major until I corrected them at
school. That's it.
May you have theater kid energy.Yeah, but why did you sign up

(14:47):
after? He asked.
You. I did not.
Why not? Pathological demand avoidance
maybe? Sure.
Whatever you do, don't audition for the musical.
No, I really don't think that's where I was.
I think I was just distracted. It was.
Also. It was.
Stupid after school every day, yeah.
It was after school every day. Yeah, dude, for a week, that's

(15:08):
where. That's where the bonds of
friendship are formed. OK, Bubs.
What's that? I play a middle schooler.
OK. And you play a middle school
teacher who just spent the last summer taking improv classes and
is really excited about it. OK, what?

(15:32):
What subject am I teaching? I don't know.
Let's say science. Science.
I've been picturing a science teacher for some reason.
OK, I'm really good at improv. I used to sprung.
On it and I'm like oh shit, I got another.
And so anyway, kids, I'm just really excited to welcome you to

(15:57):
my Earth science class. My name is Mr. Jefferson, and
you might say that we are going to have a universe full of fun.
Ralphie, stop. What?
What? What are you 2 doing over here?
Ralphie just keeps pushing me. It's fine.
Ralphie what? What's?
Sorry, What's your name? I'm Michael.

(16:19):
Michael, It was first day of class, so I'm I'll promise I'll
remember those names, but Michael.
No, it's OK. Yeah, this is Ralphie.
He's just kind of keeps shoutingme not like really hard, but
just it's it's OK. Never mind.
Just and I sort of like scratch down like I'm I'm uncomfortable
with the attention as a middle schooler.
OK, All right, Well, hey, you know what, Michael?
Thanks for letting me know. Ralphie.
Let's keep our hands to ourself.OK, so we're going to go ahead.

(16:41):
We're going to turn to chapter 1, which is what is science
question mark. Who can tell me what science is?
Michael, how about you? Science is when, like you, you
observe the world around you andthen you like take notes on what
happens and and figure stuff out.
Yes, and we can learn more aboutthe universe.

(17:04):
End of scene. It just perfectly sets up like.
He's just doing his job. It's the first thing like of the
whole year. You just hit yes and cut to
black. Yeah.
Oh shit, I can just picture him the rest of the.
Year, like, that was the thing. I was like, I mean, maybe he

(17:24):
would have the kids play improv games, but in my head, the vibe
that I was getting from our friend Dan was that like, he,
yeah, he just wants to be able to like, be quick on his feet,
you know what I mean? Yeah, oh dude, it's awesome.
But then I was trying to say I was like, what would like a like
a high? Like I got really in my head on
that one because I was trying tomake it like really good.
And then I was like, which is contrary to the rules of improv.

(17:48):
Oh, it's OK. But it's you're, it's
antithetical to the principles that I'm a Shui.
I I was, frankly, I was having ahard time not just being proud
of myself for thinking of two names.
On the fly it was. You did it.
Was Michael was always my lie name?
Yeah, think about getting into any new hobbies, bubs.

(18:08):
Oh, actually, it's funny you mention that, Bubs.
Oh boy. So I have some news to tell you.
So a while ago I got emailed by,you know, like one of those
companies and like they were like, hey, you're an influencer,
you have a bunch of followers, like can we send you our
product? But would you like to know the
product bubs? Oh gosh, what?

(18:29):
It's one of those carpet guns. Oh.
Dude I was just thinking about carpet making like a week.
Ago. Yeah, those like tufting guns.
Yeah. Yeah.
And they were like, well, they're like, would you be
interested in making like, because you know, they there was
like product for post, which is where you just like make a video
and you get the thing for free. And I was like, I guess so.

(18:55):
And it comes with the frame and everything.
Like it comes with like all the stuff.
Yeah. And so I've been actually
thinking about that hobby for a minute because I was like, I'm
going to get one of those and now I can make rugs.
Dude what? What kind of rugs are you
thinking? I really want to make a rug
that's the Katiosaurus logo. That would be sweet.
Like the like my neon sign but like as a rug that would be but

(19:17):
I don't know what I'm trying to figure out is is because the
frame is like 3 feet by 4 feet or something like that.
So like feasibly could I make an8 foot rug if I like made half
of it and then scooched the fabric over?
Like would I be able to like would it hold the tension
properly? Like that's what I'm trying to
find out. That's a good question.
I feel like yeah, you. Know yeah, I also think you can
make your own frame, you know, you can make like a whatever

(19:40):
size you actually need. Picturing, you know, the name of
this thing, it was like a Victorian children's
entertainment thing. It had a roll of paper there.
Like there was like a roll on one side and the roll on the
other side like sort of A2 papertowel things and then you would
crank it and it would pull across like an.
Illustration that was back like John Banvard.

(20:01):
Perhaps I don't. Know the the Oh fuck, what is
that called? It's not a diorama, it's a
gearama. A Gearama.
Yeah, what's a Gearama? The gearama was like the largest
one of those. So it was like ever made
awesome. It's got, I think it maybe is
just called a gearama. It's like John Banvard's

(20:22):
Gearama. Nice peels.
AG Rama can refer to several things a type of hollow globe
for viewing mats, a contemporarysans serif typeface, a video
insights platform, or a garden center.
Look up John Banvard. John Banvard, JOH.

(20:43):
He was the first millionaire artist in America and he made
this giant G Rama that was a painting of a journey down a
Mississippi River. And he would basically, he would
like stand in front of it and put on this play about a journey
down the Mississippi River in front of the G Ramo.
That's fucking awesome. So he was the first billionaire?

(21:03):
Millionaire first millionaire artist in.
America died in 1871. That would be fucking horrible.
Oh, he designed stuff in Bridgeport, CT.
My dad had a studio there. It was awesome.
It was an old buckshot factory pineapple I'm just trying to

(21:26):
find. AI feel like this is where I'm
finding out that my Brian abilities are something I bring
to the podcast. Oh, if I was typing on a
computer that would be way. Faster than just.
Also a little stoned, it looks like they just called panoramas.

(21:46):
Panoramas. The G Rama was a panorama.
There's a whole musical about it.
Panorama was an innovation in panoramic painting in the mid
19th century. It was among the most popular
forms of entertainment in the world, with hundreds of
panoramas constantly on tour in the UK and the United States.
Cool. Oh yeah.

(22:07):
But anyways, you could make likeone of those but for a rug and
it would just move. Oh yeah.
Part that you're working on across the.
Thing, yeah. That would be cool.
I have one of those but for dungeons and Dragons map.
Cool. That's right. 14 feet long, but
you just turn it and then it makes different like maps

(22:27):
depending on like where you rollit to do.
Rug making. I would want to make a rug that
I could stare at for a really long time that had like
information on it, like a whole history of the world.
That would be cool rug or like aperiodic table rug.
Yeah, that was my first thought.Yeah, periodic table.
Rug that would be cool or like acool like anatomy rug?

(22:52):
Yeah. Like a like an anatomy, like an
anatomical chart of a heart. Yeah, it's a heart chart.
A heart chart, if you will. Yeah, we should start a heart
chart. A heart chart.
Yeah. Right ventricle.
Left ventricle, upper atrium, lower atrium.

(23:14):
I think it's left ventricle, right ventricle, right atrium,
left atrium, Pretty sure. Pretty sure.
All right, Doctor Eric Pretty. Sure, I know that because of the
ADHD crafting challenge where I had to.
Build a heart. Oh yeah, when are you going to
do another ADHD crafting challenge?
Right now. Bubs.

(23:36):
Using only this laptop and thesemicrophones, you must make me a
podcast. I was really trying to come up
with something I had like 2. I don't know.
I mean, I mean, I'm definitely on an instrument's kick.
I'm definitely on a stringed instruments kick.
I'm definitely on like a mechanical instruments trip
kick, like harpsichords and piano mechanisms and stuff.

(24:00):
Definitely into that. I mean, it's your challenge, but
you know. I why are you to make like a
like a transistor, but I don't know why can I?
Get transistor radio though. Yeah, I was thinking like a
transistor radio or like a Telegraph.
Have you done a Telegraph yet? Yeah, OK.

(24:21):
I did a Telegraph. Well, technically I did a Morse
code, whatever they're called, Iwas sending things.
And then I did make a Telegraph,which has a little pen that goes
down when The thing is clicked. But that wasn't for a crafting
challenge, nor did I make a video at it.
I just made one, made it for fun.
I love that for you. Thanks.
I love that you make little things.

(24:41):
Thanks, it's cool. Me too.
I love. It's my favorite thing to do
It's awesome. I am still really interested in
the thing that you said the other day about how you're
making things is to my researching things.
Yeah. Like.
Yeah, exactly. I thought that was also I was

(25:02):
thinking maybe you could get a louder water bottle.
I'm good. You're water funnel my have the
turntables. I.
Oh, oh, yeah, I'm just, I was trying to remember what you
said. Yeah, I think it's exactly
analogous, that feeling of like just that's what's happening

(25:24):
now. Like I've thought of that and
now that's what that's what's happening now.
Like, yeah, I'm going to either think about that and not do
anything about it or think aboutthat and do something about it.
And I would rather think about it and do something about it.
Yeah, you. Know yeah I'm just like I wanna
like deep dive my way through primary sources exactly.
Like, I wonder if that's the case, like OK, well.

(25:46):
I feel like. Fascinating to watch.
Primary sources to me is like building piano keys as to you,
but I get really jealous becauseyou have like a tangible thing
at the end of yours. I'm like, I have like weird
esoteric knowledge about like Victorian gas lamps or
something, but I have nothing tolike show for it.
And you're like, I made a Violetout of garbage.

(26:07):
And I'm like, I wish I had that version because like primary
source hyperfocus hyperfixation is like fun, but it doesn't feel
as productive as like I've builta harpsichord mechanism out of
plastic and nonsense. I don't know, I I think it yours

(26:27):
teaches you skills that you use everyday though I think.
Yeah. Like you, you're, I don't know,
reading comprehension, to name one, but like the skills that
you you the things that you do to research something are things
that you do everyday. If nothing else, typing, you
know, and learning how to locatethings and learning how to also
just an understanding of like a thorough understanding of

(26:50):
something is like what? Like when I studied music in
school, it wasn't that I became some amazing musician or
whatever, but I understood what it means to really fucking know
how to do something. Like ASA, my friend is Doctor
ASA Price. Check him out.
Like he really fucking plays guitar.

(27:11):
Which is not to say everybody who can't play guitar on that
level isn't playing guitar, but like it can get.
To the yeah, there's like a certain echelon.
Exactly like I've seen it happen.
I've you can play the piano, butnot be a concert pianist.
Exactly. Exactly.
Yeah. So I don't want to say like,
those are the only people. You just have an example of how
far it can go if if the time is put in.
Yeah. And so I think you have

(27:33):
developed that understanding. Like, what does it really mean
to understand something? So much so that if you're
working some job and your boss or whoever tells you like, hey,
we need to read up on this for some meeting tomorrow, you're
going to do an incredibly fucking good job at that.
Not just because you are an amazing researcher, but because
you have a relationship to research such that you
understand what it means to do research in a way that other

(27:56):
people might not. And that's got to be useful as
fuck. Also don't know how to play the
cello. Do you know what I mean?
Like maybe it's like a grass is greener thing, but I think it's
one of the reasons why like not that I get jealous of you
because I'm not jealous of you. That's not the word that I want.
But it's like I feel sad sometimes when you make stuff

(28:19):
because I don't like make like Imake like little dumb things
sometimes and I'm like, oh, look, I made a thing.
But I'm just like, it doesn't feel the same way in my body as
like research does. And I feel like research is my,
like thing. And it's like, I'll make a thing
and then I'm like, I have a thing to show for it, but it
doesn't feel nearly as satisfying as, like, finding the
perfect primary source. Yeah, but I don't.

(28:41):
You know what? I'm.
You know what? I mean, well, I think also you
are moving in this direction. I think perhaps the analogous
thing for you would be like, well to would be to become a
writer. Like, I suppose that's what a
writer is, is they develop understandings of things and
then produce an interesting product using that
understanding. I just had a crazy idea.
What's that? We should write a book.

(29:02):
Woah. I don't know.
What do you want our book to be about, Bubs?
I would want it to probably be about something concerning
gnomes. OK.
Probably gnomes, maybe some ghouls.
OK, couple ghouls. And then, interestingly enough,
a Mormon Tabernacle Choir. OK, I want, I want involved.

(29:22):
I love that. Yes and what if it was called
the ADHD filled guide for adult and it was available for
pre-order now. Yeah, we did.
Oh gosh, we did write a book. Yeah, it is available for
pre-order now. Isn't that weird?
Wild, that was good. We should write the the the the

(29:43):
the the ghouls and Gnomes book though.
What soft pitch me on it? Oh, dude, so you got these
gnomes and you got these these ghouls.
And the ghouls are sort of ephemeral.
They can't touch things. And that's really sort of is
the, the, the, the source of their, that's their animus is
that they can't do that. And they really want to

(30:03):
understand how that feels like or be able to do it themselves
on the best case scenario. And then you have gnomes who can
touch things, but they're just less advanced than the ghouls.
The ghouls, because they're ephemeral, deal and matter in a
different way. So they're, they're sort of akin
to aliens on some level. Or they're just, it's like they
have electricity and have their entire existence because of

(30:24):
forces and energy. The ghouls do because of the
sort of the energies that exist in the ghoul world.
They have like ghoul electricity, you know, it's not
electricity, but it's sort of they can they manipulate energy
ultimately, like on a fundamental level.
That's why there are these ephemeral consciousnesses.
So like a Doctor Manhattan type situation.
So anyways, they're very advanced, whereas the gnomes,
they're a perfectly functional, they're they're fine.

(30:46):
They're a perfectly functioning,you know, society, but they, we
haven't quite figured out how tomake like, wire and develop
like, our version of electricitybecause, I mean, you couldn't if
you existed in the 1500s, you know, like if you lived in a
medieval town. They're just not quite as
developed at best this point in history.
And so they become really good friends and they share their

(31:07):
wares and they all live happily ever after.
What was What's your pitch? We open on the Mormon Tabernacle
Choir a week before Christmas, the biggest concert of the year.
They're rehearsing and we see internally there's some tension.
There's members, they're shit talking to each other.
There's there's did you hear that Betty got this solo or not

(31:30):
Miranda this year, like scandalous, right?
And they're singing and whatever.
And then it then and then one ofthe people in the choirs drops
blackout a scream a murder. Welcome to the Mormon Tabernacle
murder. And so it's a murder mystery,
bubs. But it's a murder mystery that

(31:50):
is set around a ghost story of Christmas And spooky things keep
happening happening around the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
There's your ghouls like right before, like this, like big
Christmas celebration, right, because the Mormon Tabernacle
Choir the best during Christmas until you get like a ghost story
of Christmas. And then it turns out that one

(32:12):
of the members was like murderedwith a garden gnome, like, you
know, murder mystery, jealousy, whatever.
And it's been like a Scooby-doo thing where one of the other
members knew about it and they were, like, Hamletting.
And they were, like, making, like, fake ghosts and stuff
appear to try and, like, get theperson to confess independently
of, like, I don't know, Benoit Blanc trying to solve the

(32:36):
mystery. They're putting on plays within
place. Plays within place.
That would be that's pretty cool.
I liked I I liked how you had. I was thinking of them both as
being like real and sentient, whereas you took gnome to mean
like a garden gnome. Yeah.
And the ghouls were really this visage put on by this Hamletian

(32:57):
figure. Yeah.
Is that the word for that if someone ever pertaining to
Hamlet? Sure, Hamletian.
Hamlet. Hamlet esque.
I don't know but. Yeah, I like the.
I like the. I like the direction you put it
in. Who did it?
Who was the? I want to say it was like one of
the jealous Sopranos and the reason why she called her with a

(33:18):
garden gnome is because she alsolost the flower, the flower
arranging contest. And so it was like a a moment of
passion revenge cycle because she got the solo and she beat
her in the floral arrangement contest in the spring.
But not both. It's true.
I have one but not both. Yeah, she couldn't handle the
jealousy. I've been watching a lot of BBC

(33:42):
murder mysteries lately, so yeah, yeah, if you can hear that
in the background, dear listener, that's our neighbors
A. Fucking baby.
Newborn baby that was not alive when we got this apartment but
as sure I'm kicking in the screaming now all the time. 100%

(34:04):
of the day. Yeah.
I feel like it's a really hot take to get mad about that.
I actually looked it up. I looked up a bunch of like you.
Looked up whether or not it's a hot take to.
Yeah, I did. I did because I was like am IA
bad person. Where did you look?
It up. I looked up a bunch of like,
there's a bunch of am I the assholes from people on Reddit
who are like, I moved into an apartment and then my neighbors

(34:26):
had a baby and the baby screams all the time.
Am IA bad person for being frustrated?
And then general consensus is yes, you're a bad person.
Really. Yeah, which is why I feel really
self-conscious about it because it's like if it was like they
were playing loud music, you know, and I went over and I was
like, hey man, your music is playing 24/7 and it's and it's
disturbing me. Then I feel like I would like

(34:46):
make it, make it and my the asshole and it would be fun and
people be like, yeah man, it's really inconsiderate for your
neighbors to have a loud ass music playing all the time.
But if it's a baby, people are like fuck you.
And I'm just like, it's really hard to concentrate.
And I love children. Like, I don't hate, I'm not one
of those people who hates babies, but it's really

(35:07):
difficult to like, I work from home as a podcaster and now
there's a screaming newborn living next door to us all the
time. And it, I feel really icky about
it, but it's like it's getting to the point where it's like
it's only been like a couple of days and I'm like, I can't
fucking handle it. Yeah.
I got sensory issues dog I mean.I think it is fun to be like

(35:29):
difference because like, they don't want the baby to be crying
either, you know? Yeah.
Well, another thing is I'm not gonna get mad at them or go over
and be like, shut your fucking baby up.
But I'm just like, I feel like it's okay for me to be a little
bit like if I had known that before I signed the lease,
right? I mean, I think it's OK to be
annoyed without it being anyone's fault necessarily, you

(35:51):
know? Like it is annoying.
Like a baby's cry is evolutionarily built to be the
most fucking annoying. Thing well, that's The thing is
it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be you hear you
hear it, and you're supposed to be like, Oh my God, I have to
help that baby and my broken assmaternal instinct not wanting
kids ass is like but I am have. To be 1 so close to me right

(36:11):
now. But I do want to slightly redeem
myself by saying that one of my favorite things to do is to
comfort children on airplanes. Oh, really?
Yeah. I.
Guess yeah, you're. I love, I love telling stories
to little kids on airplanes because you know how people get
all like mad when babies cry on airplanes?
I'm like, I'm in a whole adult and I want to cry.
I'm up in the sky and my ears hurt and I know what's going on.

(36:33):
Like I feel bad for babies who cry on airplanes.
Yeah, I mean, I, I was, I was terrible on airplanes when I was
a little. Kid, really I.
Wouldn't scream and yell. Well, I mean, I'm sure I did it
when I was a baby. I don't know if I ever went on
the plane as a baby though. But but yeah, my ears were I
didn't know how to pop my ears and stuff and my like head was
felt like it was going to explode.
Could you imagine being a baby? Like you have no understanding

(36:54):
of the world at all and like. Yeah, no, you're just fucking
ears hurt. You can't hear anything.
Yeah, I would suck. God, I remember, so I got.
To Bailey for that matter, too. Yeah, I know.
Good job, plain dog. Been on a plane dude.
Right, not a plain dog. She's such a good dog.
Oh yeah, I've I've been thinkingabout a instrument lately.

(37:14):
What is it? So kazoos exist.
Kazoos are a. A what kazoos exist?
That's a Mandela press shit. What do you mean kazoos?
What the Hell's a kazoo? Like what the fucking things?
Guess like guess like guess. Like so, kazoos exist.
They are a classification of instruments called a singing

(37:36):
membranophone. There's a classification of
instruments system called the Hornbastall Sax Instrument
Classification System in which every instrument that has ever
been made and arguably the majority of instruments that
will get made can be classified as using these lists.
It's sort of like a Kingdom water phylum class type thing,

(37:56):
you know, because it was a type of instrument called a singing
membranophone. Singing membranophone has a
little membrane thing in it. There usually is some sort of
tube like thing sing little membrane in that tube that is
covering up a hole. So you have a tube with a hole
in it and a membrane covering that tube, sort of like, you
know, flex seal, you know, well,bam, plug in a plug in a leak in

(38:17):
a tube. And prog down in the valley, OH.
Hole in a tube and a tube and a log and a membrane and a hole in
the hole in the membrane and probably down in the valley.
OH. That was really good, thank you.
So a singing membranophone is a tube with a hole in it that is
covered by a membrane, and when you make a noise into that tube,

(38:38):
the membrane vibrates, altering the sound that the tube is
making, explaining this poorly. Hold on.
Ringer bar or rat the fuck? Jesus Christ.
Well, we'll leave it all in. Fuck it.
It's a single M brand of fundamentally doesn't make noise
on its own right? It alters existing noises.
OK, so a kazoo doesn't produce noise.

(39:00):
There's no read on it. There's no instability of air
vibrating like on a flute or something or on a on a recorder
that is causing it to make noise.
Your vocal cords are making noise.
You make that noise into the kazoo.
Yeah. And the kazoo is a tube with a
hole in it, and the hole has a membrane covering the top of it
and the hole. And all that is about you.

(39:24):
And when you hum into it or yellinto or whatever the standing
way or the, the, the airwaves, the fucking sound waves.
Jesus Christ, the sound waves moving through that tube that
cause the membrane to vibrate, which alters the sound that you
hear. Because it's not a combination
of two sounds. It's your humming going through

(39:46):
the thing, but also the membranevibrating in direct relation to
the note that you're humming. All that is to say, a kazoo is
an instrument that doesn't make noise.
It alters the sound of a person humming.
I want to make a kazoo but for whistling.
I want to make a tube thing, an instrument thing, a singing

(40:06):
branophone most likely that you put into your over your mouth
and you whistle into it and it alters the sound of your whistle
such to sound cooler and different.
Because I really want to play the trumpet and the saxophone
and a bunch of other instrumentsthat I would have to spend a lot
of time learning. But I am a very good Whistler,
so if I could make a thing that makes my whistle sound like a

(40:27):
trumpet or something, that wouldbe fucking sweet.
And it's technically possible. There are some questions that
I'd have to answer 1st, and if the answer to some of those
questions is no, then it's kind of fucked.
But I've been obsessing over it.What if you got one of those
voice muter things that like if you live in an apartment and you

(40:47):
like and you work on Broadway that you buy?
It's like this thing and it likefits over your mouth and you
sing into it. And the idea is that it's
basically just like jam full of like acoustic paneling.
So it like essentially acts as like a trumpet mute but for your
voice. What if you got something like
that and then you cut off the end of it and added like a

(41:08):
membrane or whatever and then that way you know what I mean?
Yeah, I would want the material to not absorb sound 'cause
that'll. Yeah, well, I'm saying you
modify it. I'm just saying.
But like the idea of something that you can completely wrap
around your mouth so you can still like whistle into it.
Yeah, you know what I mean. Well, I've been you may have
noticed me doing this over the past couple days, but I've been

(41:30):
I've been whistling into different like cylinders to see
how much I. Have noticed you doing that
actually. Yeah, I've done.
I also opened and closed cylinders to see if that you
know what, what's up with that? So toilet paper roll, Yes, it's
fine. A you know those super glue, the

(41:51):
crazy glue things that come in that little green tube?
That tube is too small. A prescription bottle, which
note you might do, is closed on the other end.
You can whistle into it all the way up until it covers your
mouth. But once air can't escape
anymore, it will not whistle, which means there's a
relationship between an amount of air that is able to pass

(42:13):
through it and your ability to whistle.
It does not necessarily have to be open on the other tube or
open on the other side like a toilet paper roll is.
So basically, it doesn't have tobe a tube.
It could be sort of an enclosed thing, which I want because I
want the whistle to be as muted as I want it to be.
I don't want you to be able to hear a modified whistle.

(42:35):
I want you to hear a different tone in general.
I've only used the tone of the whistle to you know, I want to
be able to control how much you hear the whistle essentially and
a completely open tube. It's going to be very loud no
matter what. Well you also might notice that
a kazoo generally tapers towardsthe end.
I imagine that's to increase airpressure.

(42:57):
There's a wave going through it.And if you know you have a
certain amount of matter going through a pipe or a tube, and
then it gets narrower, the pressure is going to increase.
And so I imagine that's basically just to make there be
a greater pressure differential such that you can vibrate the
membrane more easily, essentially makes the membrane
more sensitive. And membrane sensitivity is like

(43:18):
going to be the whole game here because a whistle produces a lot
less energy than humming does. I mean, think like you can yell
louder than you can whistle. And I mean whistling like, you
know, not with your fingers likea taxicab whistle.
Like I almost did the McDonald'sfucking thing right then.
And then I was like, oh, I want to give them free air time.

(43:38):
And then I just said their name.Fuck.
But so anyways, membrane, membrane sensitivity is going to
be the whole the game here because there's just a lot less
amplitude. Well, he just cut a hole in the
top of the prescription bottle and put the membrane there.
That's probably going to be the first thing I do.
Yeah. There's also a relationship that

(44:00):
I needed to figure out which is the bigger the membrane, the
more surface area is interactingwith this pressure wave inside
of the inside of the whatever container it ends up being.
You know what they say, the bigger the membrane, the bigger
the pressure wave inside the container winds up being.
That it's true. Dude, they.

(44:22):
Say that they. Do say that.
If I'm they and I'm at least one, they, they say that there
you go. Oh, but there's a relationship
between how big the diameter of the membrane, because it's
generally a circle on every instrument I've ever seen, it's,
it's generally a circle. So the diameter of that circle,
how big is the membrane, the thickness of the membrane, the

(44:44):
material the membrane's made outof, because that's going to
affect it's inertia. Is it a heavy thing that's
difficult to move, or is it a very light thing that's easy to
move? The diameter is just going to
affect how much of this materialthere is, but what the material
is made out of is going to affect its density and weight.
Or is it going to determine its density and therefore its weight

(45:05):
and then it's thickness? So it's basically, well, I don't
want π R-squared times height isessentially what we're going for
here. The height is largely negligible
in this sense. But anyways, that is the
relationship that I have to determine because because does a
bigger hole mean that it becomesmore sensitive or added mass now

(45:28):
negating any benefit you would be getting from the added
surface area? I don't know.
I have to make one that's almostcertainly not going to work and
then make another one that's notgoing to work for a different
reason and cross reference thosetwo and figure out generally
what doesn't work and then go from there.
And that's called the problem solving process.
And I fucking love it, Katie. It is my favorite thing, sorry.

(45:51):
Come back next week to see if having a larger hole means that
it's more sensitive with Katie and Eric.
I'm not going to lie to you, I was sitting on that one for like
5. Minutes.
Oh my God. I was just waiting for you to be
done talking. There were a couple, I think
there were a couple I've been seeing in your eyes or you had
you had something locked and. Loaded.
I was like, I was, I was really in for the smart stuff.

(46:14):
But I feel like sometimes it's my job to be the silly little
guy on the podcast. Oh, that's, that's the
absolutely. I'm I, it's great.
It makes me feel good when I'm the silly little guy in the.
Black love it. We like we, we switch back and
forth. Yeah, yeah, one might say we're
switches. Yeah, but.
Anyways, I want to do that, but there's also other humming into
or making noises into things. Like that?

(46:35):
Of what? Well, one that comes to mind is
that toy from when you were a kid.
It was a microphone. It's like an oversized
microphone. I'm.
Very light, yeah. And it was like it had like the
sparkles and stuff. It was all sparkly and you would
talk into it and it would. Echo it would echo.
It had the spring on the inside it had.
A Yeah, it had basically a little slinky on the inside.
Yeah, that would. Vibrate in accordance with.
The noise in that shit. Produce an echo that was just

(46:56):
sweet. And so there could be an element
of that where like the whistlingkazoo thing and there's like
maybe there's an echo being added to it.
So there's a bunch of different ways you can modify like that
type of sound. And I'm wondering if like some
combination of those like a membrane, but also with like a
spring going through it that would produce a reverb effect or
also I was thinking sometimes when I whistle, this is kind of

(47:18):
gross. Sometimes when I whistle, if I
hit a specific note at a certainspecific volume, 2 of my teeth
will vibrate together, which is a very wild feeling.
I. Thought you were going to say
that you come. No, you come sweetheart or shit
your pants. I don't remember one of them is
brown to shit your pants 1 though, because I don't I've
I've never made you do that. That would be mean, but

(47:39):
sometimes I get to confuse the shit your pants one.
God, that's the worst when you get those two mixed up.
I don't. Know I think the shit your pants
1 sounds like this anyways oh but oh so also if you had like
like hairs going into it like feelers it would vibrate the
hairs because. Ultimately.
That would have a that's extremely small amount of mass

(47:59):
or maybe like hairs with little balls on the tip of them that
would tap together. You know, anyways, there's all
sorts of different ways to altersound.
Basically I'm looking for a thing that would allow me to
skirt the responsibility of having to get good at an
instrument before enjoying playing, you know, like, you
know what I mean? Like I can whistle already
really well. I can I can whistle solos that
I'd love to be able to play on the saxophone or in on any

(48:21):
instrument. And it's like if I could just
turn my whistle into a cool instrument, I could skip years
of practice. Ultimately, I'm working really
hard to be lazy here. That's that's really what I'm
going for. Come back next week, dear
listeners, to find out how Eric puts hairy balls in his.
Damn it, how long did you have that fucking that fucker going?
For a while I. Saw your eyes light up when I

(48:42):
said. I take improv classes.
You did take improv classes? I'm pretty funny now.
Yeah, when I said balls, I saw your eyes light up like the
students in that improv teachersclass where the teacher that
took him Row's class when he starts asking for.
Name suggestions? Also, give me a place.
Give me a place. The girl's bathroom I.

(49:03):
Don't know. Good.
Although our improv teacher, it's really funny because he he
does this weird thing. So like, we'll, we'll play these
games where it's like you're like taking on a character.
So it's like you have a weird name.
Your name is, I don't know, Philip Vagina or whatever.
I don't know. It's a bad one.
Any relation? But you know, so it's like, OK,

(49:24):
so your character, not your nameis Phillip Vagina.
And so then you have to like embody the character, but he
does this thing where he's just like, now unpack your trauma.
So he'll just like ask you theseleading questions about.
Like someone's seen Barry. Like, what was your what was
your relationship with your father like Phillip.
And then, you know, whatever he's like.
Yeah, but sounds like maybe there's some tension there.
Maybe there was some sadness. Did you feel like you were

(49:44):
letting your father down? Felt like he'll coach you down
this road of like every character has a deeply
traumatized past to get you to like the moment of like feels
the the moment of like, I don't know, really like authentic,
genuine, like not funny improv like that, that just like you're

(50:06):
just like sort of living in the moment.
But I'm just picturing this likescience teacher just being like,
that was the time that my fucking father died right in
front of me kids. And they're like, I thought you
were just doing an impression ofthe planet Jupiter.
Hi kids on Jupiter. My father died in front of me in
numb. That's a create like key and

(50:28):
feel sketch, right? Just.
Overly intense improv actor. Bubs, I should take that sounds
awesome. I kind of want to take your
improv class with you a little. Bit Oh my God, you, I feel like
you have a really good time. You still sign up.
You want to sign up, use code summer.
You get 20% off. Code Summer.
Yeah, they just sent out an e-mail.
There you go. Don't.

(50:50):
Put your I'm kind of scared. I'm a little scared, but you're
scared, obviously. Yeah.
I don't know. I haven't done improv since like
my LAR ping days. Oh, right.
I guess with you. There's people in the class who
have never done improv, like ever.
They just signed up because they're, you know what I mean?
It's it's like an all ages sort of thing or all all.
Ability levels, yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good
time. Yeah, Tuesday nights.

(51:10):
Fuck, you want to sign up? Yeah, a little bit.
OK. How much is it?
Is it like $10 million? No.
OK, what's pretty? It's honestly pretty
inexpensive. Like $8 million.
Yeah, 54321. From all of us here at Infinite

(51:31):
Quest, remember to eat a snack. Remember to drink some water.
Remember to take your meds. Remember to be kind to yourself.
Remember to be kind to others. And remember that we.
Love. Thanks for being here.
We really brought that one all the way back around.
We started with improv. Oh yeah, we did.

(51:51):
That's pretty good. I didn't even do that on purpose
me. Either.
And barely.