June 26, 2025 • 24 mins
Eileen Tully returns to CCAirwaves to discuss her new Catholic grief resource, "Those Who Mourn" magazine, which combines personal stories, prayers, artwork, hymns, and Catholic teaching to support people experiencing loss.
Visit thosewhomournmag.com to read the current and past issues, and follow on social media at "Those Who Mourn Mag."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Thank you so much for joining us.
Hello everyone and welcome backto CC Airwaves.
(00:33):
My name is Paige Mattillo andI'm here with our intern, jen
Cascio.
Hello everyone, and we're alsohere with a special guest.
Back again to join us on CCAirwaves is Eileen Foley.
Eileen, how are you today?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hi, good, we were just talking about I'm chilly,
it's cold here.
We're just talking about theweather.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
That's how we start every podcast, you can always
tell what season the podcastepisode was recorded in, because
of the conversations that wehave about the weather Because
of the conversations that wehave about the weather.
So, for those of you whoremember, eileen was on podcasts
in the past on a specialepisode of Inspiring Stories of
Healing and Hope, where shetalked about present in the pain
(01:16):
.
Eileen, can you justreintroduce yourself to our
listeners?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Sure, of course, I live in New Hampshire which is
why it's chilly with my husband,patrick, and our six children,
and I have an apostolate forwomen who have experienced
pregnancy and child loss, whichis what present in the pain is.
So myself, I'm a convert to thefaith, and the faith really was
(01:44):
very helpful to me in myhealing from that experience of
child loss that we've had.
We've had a couple miscarriagesand a stillbirth and an infant
loss, and so the faith reallywas something that I tried to
lean on during that time.
So that's why I wanted tocreate the apostolate, but I've
(02:05):
also created something newrecently that we're going to
talk about today.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yes, I can't wait to hear more about it.
Yeah, it's, it's a little bitabout what is those who are.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, so after our loss of our babies, um, I really
I wanted to lean on my faith,as I just mentioned, but I
really struggled to findresources to help me do that.
And even though I'm a convert,I was a Protestant Christian and
I had a faith in God andnothing shook that faith like
(02:43):
that experience of those losses.
The stillbirth and the infantloss were twins, so they were
right back to back losses thatwere just absolutely crushing,
like I just kind of didn't evenfeel like I could physically
function.
I wasn't prepared for theintensity of that kind of grief
(03:11):
and sort of floundered.
Like it's interesting, CS Lewishas a book called A Grief
Observed which is so, sovalidating.
He lost his wife and he justsort of wrote about his grief in
that experience and, eventhough it was a different kind
of loss from mine, wrote abouthis grief in that experience and
even though it was a differentkind of loss from mine.
What I took away was thatshared experience of grief that
he you know he had a faith alsobut he comments about, he talks
(03:36):
about praying and sort ofcalling on the Lord during this
challenging time and justfeeling like this vast, like the
most silent answer that he'sever had, with talking to God.
And I had felt the same thing.
I remember even just goingoutside and looking up at the
stars and being like are theywith you?
Like are you real, it's all youknow.
(03:58):
Like I was sort of justfloundering to hold on to what I
had always believed to be true,but like just was craving sort
of a, a sign, I guess.
Like I remember being like, canI have a shooting star if
you're up there and you can hearme?
You know it was.
It sounds ridiculous inhindsight, but it really.
(04:18):
It really was a desperation toknow that this, this faith that
I had claimed all my life, wasreal.
And like I was sort of lookingfor traction because that
suffering was like the rubbermeeting the road and I was like
hoping for something to grip,you know.
And so, knowing that I had myown, knowing that I had my own
(04:43):
crisis of faith during that time, I know also that that is just
a time when other people canexperience that crisis of faith
too.
And because I had a Protestantbackground, I really didn't have
the sacraments I was a convertby this time but I was sort of
(05:08):
like new, like a baby.
In my Catholic faith, you know,and I didn't like recognize the
just the treasury of beauty andgoodness and hope and purpose
for suffering that existed inthe church that our faith offers
us.
And so another thing that I didalso was I wrote for a magazine
(05:28):
, an online magazine calledStill Standing, which was a
collection of stories aboutinfertility and child loss, and
I found the writing to be reallyhealing for me, and I found
reading other people's storiesto be very validating, like, oh,
you felt like this too.
Okay, yes, this is so.
(05:48):
It just felt like, okay,there's a little bit of normalcy
to what I'm feeling, becausesomebody else is sharing that
experience too.
And so, but still standing wasdecidedly not faith based.
It was just stories ofmiscarriage and infertility
Still helpful, but not based inour faith.
So I wanted to see if I couldsomehow merge that with our
(06:14):
faith and draw from Catholicwriters or just Catholic people
who have experienced a loss andleaned on their faith or used
their faith to help them getthrough it, if they might be
interested in writing about thatfor other people to read.
And then I also wanted to justreally lean on the treasury of
(06:37):
goodness, truth and beauty thatthe Catholic Church offers.
So I share prayers, I sharehymns, I share Catholic artwork,
like beautiful paintings, justto help us sort of meditate and
have something to grip onto whenwe're sort of slipping as the
rubber of our suffering ismeeting the road of our faith.
(07:00):
So that's what those who Mournis.
Yeah, it's an online magazine.
We come out with a new issue.
Every month there's a new issueand it's just a collection of
stories and prayers and hymns.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Now, this is a really unique magazine and I honestly
have never heard of anyone doingthis.
You know, and was thissomething new that you were able
to experience as well?
Was there ever when you wereresearching this?
Was it something that anyoneelse has ever done?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, I couldn't find anything and I had felt like
sort of a nudging to do it for acouple of years now and I
wasn't sure if I was just crazyLike should I move forward on
this?
Is this something that peopleare going to want?
Should I move forward on this?
Is this something that peopleare going to want?
I just I was sort of drawingfrom my own experience of that,
(07:51):
having written for that magazineand being desperate for
something to hold on to in myfaith, and and so I thought, you
know, I kind of had this ideaWould anybody be interested in
contributing to this?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I put it out there to like a catholic um writers
online group that I'm part of,and a lot of people responded
either yes, I want to read this,or yes, I want to contribute,
or yes, we need something likethis, or this would be amazing,
you know, like I would like tohave something like that too,
and so it was like, okay, yes, Iguess this is something that
(08:32):
other people would want, as well, well, grief is often a topic
that people shy away from,they're too scared to talk about
, or they just don't know how toidentify it within themselves
or the way you know, because itwas a really taboo subject for a
long time and people didn'tunderstand it, and so I think
that you shedding a light onthis is especially inspiring,
considering you didn't havethose resources when you went
(08:55):
through your own loss, so you'rereally just trying to make sure
that other people have theseresources that weren't available
to you at that time.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, so in my apostolate, you know, of course,
I work with women who haveexperienced child loss and there
is a lot of shared experience.
You know a lot of things thatwe have in common there.
But I'm also starting to be ofthe age where I have friends who
have lost their spouses.
I have friends who are goingthrough a divorce.
(09:23):
Like it's just, you know, griefis everywhere.
I mean, if you haven't felt ityet, just wait, it's coming you
know it's everywhere.
There are lots of things togrieve in this life and I
noticed, even with my friend I'mthinking of a particular friend
who lost her husband there is alot of shared experience to
(09:45):
grief itself.
Like, just like I was sayingabout CS Lewis, you know he lost
his wife, but as he was writingabout his grief I was like, yes
, I can relate to that.
Yes, I felt that.
Yes, I felt that, standing outin the void and you know, and
calling out to the void and justgetting nothing back, you know,
and just sort of begging for asign or an indication that God
was there and he was with us.
(10:08):
In hindsight I was able to seethat of course he was, and that
His silence was actually almostlike a gift to me.
It really caused me to likeexercise my faith muscles in a
way that I had never been calledon to do before, and so, coming
out the other side, I felt thatI had grown stronger and I
almost was grateful, like Ididn't really need the sign that
(10:30):
I thought I needed.
You know, it was what I neededto do was just exercise a little
bit more, I think.
But yeah, there are a lot ofshared experiences of grief, and
one of them is a lack ofaccompaniment, you know, a lack
of people just knowing how tocome alongside you and say, like
me too, like I, I understand,or or just be with you while
(10:53):
you're feeling all the thingsyou're feeling, and so I thought
this would help.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah, go ahead sorry, no, you're fine.
So you really found thiscommunity in grief people to
support and I don't oftentimesthat some people need community
and some people it's really hardfor them to find that community
.
What is the most importantthing you can say about that?
You've gained from finding thiscommunity and these people who
(11:21):
you have a shared experiencewith.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, well, so it's interesting.
I know what you mean, because alot of people really have a
hard time being vulnerable andtalking about their feelings or
just crying in front of otherpeople, right Like coming to a
grief support group, for example.
I found one in my neighborhoodthat was a Protestant-based
(11:44):
program called Grief Share,which you probably have heard of
, but there was nothing Catholicthat was available and it was
very hard to go there.
And you know it's this group ofother women, mostly widows, who
were older ladies who had losttheir husbands, and just cry in
front of them, you know, or likebe vulnerable about what I was
(12:06):
feeling because I didn't knowthem.
So Thomas Aquinas offers in hisSumma Theologica five remedies
for sorrow and I'm going to seeif I can recall them.
One of them, for like I'll putthe first of them, is
(12:28):
experiencing pleasure, like.
I'll just put them in thisorder, I don't know, I don't
remember exactly the order thathe offers, but I'll put pleasure
at the top, because he refersback to pleasure as being
something that assuages our pain.
But it's very difficult toexperience pleasure when you're
suffering or you almost feelguilty for experiencing it,
sometimes Like, if you're notlike sorrowing long enough you
(12:51):
didn't love your person enough.
You know something like that.
Like it feels like I want toengage in this pleasure, but
also I feel like maybe I shouldstill be carrying this sorrow.
So he talks about the fact thatpleasure assuages our pain,
that it's that, it's what we'rekind of created for experiencing
pleasure, and I, in themagazine, my hope is that the
(13:14):
beauty of the hymns and thebeauty of the artwork would be
something that contributes tothe pleasure that we can.
You know, like beauty is just,if it's beautiful, it's from God
, because God is the source ofthat right.
So it's just good and beautiful, and it's and it's something
that we enjoy just objectively,right.
(13:37):
Another thing that he says,though, is the condolence of
friends, and so sometimes thatcan be hard for us to enter into
.
Sometimes our friends disappear.
Sometimes, if we're looking fora community, it can be hard to
be vulnerable in front of them,like I was just saying, and so
one of the things that I thinkthe magazine format offers is
(14:00):
the ability to hear otherpeople's, to hear in quotes,
like to read other people'sstories right Without and maybe
cry in response to it and belike, yes, I feel like that too,
but without being on the spotof someone seeing you doing that
, you know, which can feelreally uncomfortable for a lot
of people, and so my hope isthat, by offering the stories in
(14:25):
this format, people can feelsort of like supported and
understood and validated,without necessarily having to
enter into that vulnerability.
And another, you know, anothersad part about grief is that we
don't do a good job of mourningwith those who mourn, do we?
So we don't always do a goodjob of entering into it with
(14:49):
people, and our tendency is towant to put a silver lining on
it, like, oh, at least you havethis or at least you could still
do this right, um, and so youknow, we're not, we're not
trying to do that here in themagazine.
We're not trying to do a silverlining, we're trying to come
alongside and mourn with thosewho mourn.
Um, there are other remedies forsorrow.
(15:10):
One of them, another one, isthe contemplation of the truth,
and so that is why we're just sofirmly rooted in the teachings
of the magisterium.
Like all, the hymns aretraditional and truthful.
The prayers are so far they'rejust.
(15:30):
They've been litanies, based onwhat the devotion is for the
month, um, but yeah, there's somuch truth in our faith, there's
also two features that I Ithink especially contribute to.
Truth is is a an excerpt from awriting of a saint.
So, uh, the first issue had anexcerpt from saint francis de
(15:53):
Sales, whom I love.
He's just so lovable andcomforting and like a big
brother, and it was theChristian manner in which we
should mourn over those whom wehave lost is the excerpt from
his Consoling Thoughts series.
And then this issue is on theSacred Heart and it's an excerpt
(16:14):
from St John Eudes, who iswriting about the Sacred Heart
and Jesus loving us like hisFather loves him.
And then another feature thatwe just added this month we
didn't have in the first issuewas a priest, a faithful,
traditional priest, who isanswering reader questions.
So one of the questions that areader had was about something
(16:35):
called Gregorian Masses and howcan we offer them for our loved
ones.
Well, I had never heard ofGregorian.
Masses, so I was really excitedto hear his answer and it's a
series of Masses that you canhave offered.
I want to say it's 30 Massesthat you can have offered for
your love.
Oh, yes, I've heard of those.
Have you heard of that?
(16:56):
Okay, yeah, so it's really hardA lot of times.
It's hard for parish priests todo, because they're taking on
the intentions of theirparishioners as well.
But sometimes you can findsomeone in a monastery or
(17:16):
something you know who doesn'thave those parishioner
intentions that he's praying for, who can provide a Gregorian
Mass, which I never knew aboutthat.
So that was just a neat fact.
So, yeah, we have had somereaders send in questions about,
you know, just like, what doesthe church teach about this?
Or you know how do I offer upmy sufferings and unite them
with Christ, what is redemptivesuffering?
So, anyway, those are someother things.
The last two remedies that StThomas Aquinas offers.
(17:40):
Sorry, I couldn't come up withthat word.
One of them is weeping, whichis like obvious, right, but
sometimes we forget andsometimes we feel uncomfortable
doing it around other people.
So weeping is another one whichis something, again, with this
magazine format, you can readand weep all you want and nobody
(18:02):
, nobody has to see you if youfeel uncomfortable doing that.
And then a warm bath and a napis the other one, and I think
that's great because it reallyjust it's clear that he
recognized the physical tollthat grieving takes on our
bodies.
You know, it's exhausting, it'sachy, it makes us ache, like
physically ache, it's intense togrieve, and so my hope is that
(18:25):
this can help.
Whether the beauty, thepleasure, the contemplation of
truth did I get them all.
Condolence of Friends, and thenWeeping and the Warm Bath and a
Nap, yeah, those are the fiveremedies.
So my hope is that this formatthe people will have to provide
the warm bath and the nap forthemselves, but it will just
(18:47):
give them a little bit of ataste of those other things to
just hold on to.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I would love to hear more about the structure of the
magazine.
I know you said there are hymnsand special writers.
Is everyone who contributes aguest writer or are there
consistent writers every month?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
That's a good question.
We do have some monthlycontributors who have agreed to
write a piece every month, andthen we have we also take
submissions from guest writers.
So if anyone is interested incontributing, they can find the
link at the top of the magazine.
It says submissions.
So would you like to writesomething?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Paige, I would love to write something.
I would love it.
I know I told you last time wetalked that I would love to
write something and I think Iknow a couple of people here who
would love to as well.
I would love it.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
That would be great yep, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
So is there anything you're particularly excited for
that's either coming up just forthe magazine or coming up
within the magazine?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
yeah, so my hope was to to launch it and to and it
still is to keep the magazinefree, like I don't want there to
have to be subscribers.
I want it to be something thatpeople who are grieving can find
online and just have somethings to slow down.
(20:07):
You know, the articles are notshort, especially the writings,
the excerpts from the saints,and that's intentional because
everything is in these likeYouTube short formats right now
where we're just like onto thenext, onto the next, onto the
next, and it really like it'sreally detrimental to us to live
like that Right, and I thinkgrief takes time.
(20:28):
It requires us to sort of slowdown, whether we want it to or
not.
You know, part of that warmbath and a nap, it's just
exhausting, you know.
So I wanted it to be somethingthat people could just take
their time over and andcontemplate as they're reading,
and think about and have it justbe something that they're
chewing on and and processingalong with their grief.
(20:50):
So, so, what was so?
Anyway, okay, so the, yeah, the, the format.
Were you?
I'm sorry, what was thequestion?
Again, what were you originallyasking?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
yeah, is there anything you're particularly
excited for?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
oh yeah yeah, okay, so I'm so sorry yeah, so I
always want that to be free andonline available for readers,
but I was.
I have had other people ask meare you going to have a print
version of this or is there away I can sign up and subscribe
to contribute to this?
So one of the things I've beentalking about with our monthly
(21:27):
contributors is maybe having asubscription feature for a low
amount, something reasonable,because people don't like to.
I didn't want to pay money toget to heal from my grief, you
know, it was just so, um, sojust offering some extra things
like, um, maybe some of thearticles would be an audio
(21:49):
format read by the writers, oran interview with the
contributors, or some printablesthat they can download and
print, and so for like a smallsubscription fee, they could get
some extra resources.
There might also be in thefuture.
I was thinking about doing anonline grief support group,
(22:10):
because not every church has abereavement support group Mine
doesn't and so even if I couldcreate an online community for
those subscribers so that, ifthey needed, you know, with a
weekly grief support or amonthly grief support group,
that you could just connect withother people and have that
connection.
So there's, you know, we areonly on our second issue.
(22:33):
This month is our second issue,so there are some ideas I have
in the works and then possiblymaybe a print just expanding
into meeting people's needs alittle bit more where they,
(22:58):
where they are, you know if theyneed that, that grief, that
extra support or that griefgroup or something.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah, Well, the possibilities are truly endless,
especially since you guys didonly release your second edition
this month, which I'm veryexcited to read.
Where can our listeners findthe magazine online and can they
follow you on social media?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Those who mourn magcom it'sjust those who mourn with M-A-G
mag at the endcom is the websiteaddress.
So, and then you can.
It's, the main issue is the onethat's the home page, but you
can.
There's a little tab for issuesin the in the menu and you can
look at the May issue and allthe back issues will be there.
(23:42):
And then, likewise, on social,it's those who mourn mag.
So Facebook is that.
Instagram is that.
Pinterest is that?
So those are the social sitesthat we are on to.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Perfect, and for our listeners, I will link the
website and their social mediasin the description, so feel free
to click on there and check outthe magazine.
Eileen, I think that's all wehave for you for today.
Is there anything else you'dlike to share?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
No, I really, really appreciate you letting me come
back on here and seeing you bothagain, or well, I saw the same
thing again um, right and uhyeah, just thank you for the
opportunity to share thisresource.
I hope that and pray that it'ssomething that um others take
comfort in when they'resuffering.
I completely agree.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Well, thank you once again.
So much for joining us.
And this has been CC Airwaves.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Hello everyone and welcome backto CC Airwaves.
(00:33):
My name is Paige Mattillo andI'm here with our intern, jen
Cascio.
Hello everyone, and we're alsohere with a special guest.
Back again to join us on CCAirwaves is Eileen Foley.
Eileen, how are you today?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hi, good, we were just talking about I'm chilly,
it's cold here.
We're just talking about theweather.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
That's how we start every podcast, you can always
tell what season the podcastepisode was recorded in, because
of the conversations that wehave about the weather Because
of the conversations that wehave about the weather.
So, for those of you whoremember, eileen was on podcasts
in the past on a specialepisode of Inspiring Stories of
Healing and Hope, where shetalked about present in the pain
(01:16):
.
Eileen, can you justreintroduce yourself to our
listeners?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Sure, of course, I live in New Hampshire which is
why it's chilly with my husband,patrick, and our six children,
and I have an apostolate forwomen who have experienced
pregnancy and child loss, whichis what present in the pain is.
So myself, I'm a convert to thefaith, and the faith really was
(01:44):
very helpful to me in myhealing from that experience of
child loss that we've had.
We've had a couple miscarriagesand a stillbirth and an infant
loss, and so the faith reallywas something that I tried to
lean on during that time.
So that's why I wanted tocreate the apostolate, but I've
(02:05):
also created something newrecently that we're going to
talk about today.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yes, I can't wait to hear more about it.
Yeah, it's, it's a little bitabout what is those who are.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, so after our loss of our babies, um, I really
I wanted to lean on my faith,as I just mentioned, but I
really struggled to findresources to help me do that.
And even though I'm a convert,I was a Protestant Christian and
I had a faith in God andnothing shook that faith like
(02:43):
that experience of those losses.
The stillbirth and the infantloss were twins, so they were
right back to back losses thatwere just absolutely crushing,
like I just kind of didn't evenfeel like I could physically
function.
I wasn't prepared for theintensity of that kind of grief
(03:11):
and sort of floundered.
Like it's interesting, CS Lewishas a book called A Grief
Observed which is so, sovalidating.
He lost his wife and he justsort of wrote about his grief in
that experience and, eventhough it was a different kind
of loss from mine, wrote abouthis grief in that experience and
even though it was a differentkind of loss from mine.
What I took away was thatshared experience of grief that
he you know he had a faith alsobut he comments about, he talks
(03:36):
about praying and sort ofcalling on the Lord during this
challenging time and justfeeling like this vast, like the
most silent answer that he'sever had, with talking to God.
And I had felt the same thing.
I remember even just goingoutside and looking up at the
stars and being like are theywith you?
Like are you real, it's all youknow.
(03:58):
Like I was sort of justfloundering to hold on to what I
had always believed to be true,but like just was craving sort
of a, a sign, I guess.
Like I remember being like, canI have a shooting star if
you're up there and you can hearme?
You know it was.
It sounds ridiculous inhindsight, but it really.
(04:18):
It really was a desperation toknow that this, this faith that
I had claimed all my life, wasreal.
And like I was sort of lookingfor traction because that
suffering was like the rubbermeeting the road and I was like
hoping for something to grip,you know.
And so, knowing that I had myown, knowing that I had my own
(04:43):
crisis of faith during that time, I know also that that is just
a time when other people canexperience that crisis of faith
too.
And because I had a Protestantbackground, I really didn't have
the sacraments I was a convertby this time but I was sort of
(05:08):
like new, like a baby.
In my Catholic faith, you know,and I didn't like recognize the
just the treasury of beauty andgoodness and hope and purpose
for suffering that existed inthe church that our faith offers
us.
And so another thing that I didalso was I wrote for a magazine
(05:28):
, an online magazine calledStill Standing, which was a
collection of stories aboutinfertility and child loss, and
I found the writing to be reallyhealing for me, and I found
reading other people's storiesto be very validating, like, oh,
you felt like this too.
Okay, yes, this is so.
(05:48):
It just felt like, okay,there's a little bit of normalcy
to what I'm feeling, becausesomebody else is sharing that
experience too.
And so, but still standing wasdecidedly not faith based.
It was just stories ofmiscarriage and infertility
Still helpful, but not based inour faith.
So I wanted to see if I couldsomehow merge that with our
(06:14):
faith and draw from Catholicwriters or just Catholic people
who have experienced a loss andleaned on their faith or used
their faith to help them getthrough it, if they might be
interested in writing about thatfor other people to read.
And then I also wanted to justreally lean on the treasury of
(06:37):
goodness, truth and beauty thatthe Catholic Church offers.
So I share prayers, I sharehymns, I share Catholic artwork,
like beautiful paintings, justto help us sort of meditate and
have something to grip onto whenwe're sort of slipping as the
rubber of our suffering ismeeting the road of our faith.
(07:00):
So that's what those who Mournis.
Yeah, it's an online magazine.
We come out with a new issue.
Every month there's a new issueand it's just a collection of
stories and prayers and hymns.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Now, this is a really unique magazine and I honestly
have never heard of anyone doingthis.
You know, and was thissomething new that you were able
to experience as well?
Was there ever when you wereresearching this?
Was it something that anyoneelse has ever done?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, I couldn't find anything and I had felt like
sort of a nudging to do it for acouple of years now and I
wasn't sure if I was just crazyLike should I move forward on
this?
Is this something that peopleare going to want?
Should I move forward on this?
Is this something that peopleare going to want?
I just I was sort of drawingfrom my own experience of that,
(07:51):
having written for that magazineand being desperate for
something to hold on to in myfaith, and and so I thought, you
know, I kind of had this ideaWould anybody be interested in
contributing to this?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I put it out there to like a catholic um writers
online group that I'm part of,and a lot of people responded
either yes, I want to read this,or yes, I want to contribute,
or yes, we need something likethis, or this would be amazing,
you know, like I would like tohave something like that too,
and so it was like, okay, yes, Iguess this is something that
(08:32):
other people would want, as well, well, grief is often a topic
that people shy away from,they're too scared to talk about
, or they just don't know how toidentify it within themselves
or the way you know, because itwas a really taboo subject for a
long time and people didn'tunderstand it, and so I think
that you shedding a light onthis is especially inspiring,
considering you didn't havethose resources when you went
(08:55):
through your own loss, so you'rereally just trying to make sure
that other people have theseresources that weren't available
to you at that time.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, so in my apostolate, you know, of course,
I work with women who haveexperienced child loss and there
is a lot of shared experience.
You know a lot of things thatwe have in common there.
But I'm also starting to be ofthe age where I have friends who
have lost their spouses.
I have friends who are goingthrough a divorce.
(09:23):
Like it's just, you know, griefis everywhere.
I mean, if you haven't felt ityet, just wait, it's coming you
know it's everywhere.
There are lots of things togrieve in this life and I
noticed, even with my friend I'mthinking of a particular friend
who lost her husband there is alot of shared experience to
(09:45):
grief itself.
Like, just like I was sayingabout CS Lewis, you know he lost
his wife, but as he was writingabout his grief I was like, yes
, I can relate to that.
Yes, I felt that.
Yes, I felt that, standing outin the void and you know, and
calling out to the void and justgetting nothing back, you know,
and just sort of begging for asign or an indication that God
was there and he was with us.
(10:08):
In hindsight I was able to seethat of course he was, and that
His silence was actually almostlike a gift to me.
It really caused me to likeexercise my faith muscles in a
way that I had never been calledon to do before, and so, coming
out the other side, I felt thatI had grown stronger and I
almost was grateful, like Ididn't really need the sign that
(10:30):
I thought I needed.
You know, it was what I neededto do was just exercise a little
bit more, I think.
But yeah, there are a lot ofshared experiences of grief, and
one of them is a lack ofaccompaniment, you know, a lack
of people just knowing how tocome alongside you and say, like
me too, like I, I understand,or or just be with you while
(10:53):
you're feeling all the thingsyou're feeling, and so I thought
this would help.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Yeah, go ahead sorry, no, you're fine.
So you really found thiscommunity in grief people to
support and I don't oftentimesthat some people need community
and some people it's really hardfor them to find that community
.
What is the most importantthing you can say about that?
You've gained from finding thiscommunity and these people who
(11:21):
you have a shared experiencewith.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, well, so it's interesting.
I know what you mean, because alot of people really have a
hard time being vulnerable andtalking about their feelings or
just crying in front of otherpeople, right Like coming to a
grief support group, for example.
I found one in my neighborhoodthat was a Protestant-based
(11:44):
program called Grief Share,which you probably have heard of
, but there was nothing Catholicthat was available and it was
very hard to go there.
And you know it's this group ofother women, mostly widows, who
were older ladies who had losttheir husbands, and just cry in
front of them, you know, or likebe vulnerable about what I was
(12:06):
feeling because I didn't knowthem.
So Thomas Aquinas offers in hisSumma Theologica five remedies
for sorrow and I'm going to seeif I can recall them.
One of them, for like I'll putthe first of them, is
(12:28):
experiencing pleasure, like.
I'll just put them in thisorder, I don't know, I don't
remember exactly the order thathe offers, but I'll put pleasure
at the top, because he refersback to pleasure as being
something that assuages our pain.
But it's very difficult toexperience pleasure when you're
suffering or you almost feelguilty for experiencing it,
sometimes Like, if you're notlike sorrowing long enough you
(12:51):
didn't love your person enough.
You know something like that.
Like it feels like I want toengage in this pleasure, but
also I feel like maybe I shouldstill be carrying this sorrow.
So he talks about the fact thatpleasure assuages our pain,
that it's that, it's what we'rekind of created for experiencing
pleasure, and I, in themagazine, my hope is that the
(13:14):
beauty of the hymns and thebeauty of the artwork would be
something that contributes tothe pleasure that we can.
You know, like beauty is just,if it's beautiful, it's from God
, because God is the source ofthat right.
So it's just good and beautiful, and it's and it's something
that we enjoy just objectively,right.
(13:37):
Another thing that he says,though, is the condolence of
friends, and so sometimes thatcan be hard for us to enter into
.
Sometimes our friends disappear.
Sometimes, if we're looking fora community, it can be hard to
be vulnerable in front of them,like I was just saying, and so
one of the things that I thinkthe magazine format offers is
(14:00):
the ability to hear otherpeople's, to hear in quotes,
like to read other people'sstories right Without and maybe
cry in response to it and belike, yes, I feel like that too,
but without being on the spotof someone seeing you doing that
, you know, which can feelreally uncomfortable for a lot
of people, and so my hope isthat, by offering the stories in
(14:25):
this format, people can feelsort of like supported and
understood and validated,without necessarily having to
enter into that vulnerability.
And another, you know, anothersad part about grief is that we
don't do a good job of mourningwith those who mourn, do we?
So we don't always do a goodjob of entering into it with
(14:49):
people, and our tendency is towant to put a silver lining on
it, like, oh, at least you havethis or at least you could still
do this right, um, and so youknow, we're not, we're not
trying to do that here in themagazine.
We're not trying to do a silverlining, we're trying to come
alongside and mourn with thosewho mourn.
Um, there are other remedies forsorrow.
(15:10):
One of them, another one, isthe contemplation of the truth,
and so that is why we're just sofirmly rooted in the teachings
of the magisterium.
Like all, the hymns aretraditional and truthful.
The prayers are so far they'rejust.
(15:30):
They've been litanies, based onwhat the devotion is for the
month, um, but yeah, there's somuch truth in our faith, there's
also two features that I Ithink especially contribute to.
Truth is is a an excerpt from awriting of a saint.
So, uh, the first issue had anexcerpt from saint francis de
(15:53):
Sales, whom I love.
He's just so lovable andcomforting and like a big
brother, and it was theChristian manner in which we
should mourn over those whom wehave lost is the excerpt from
his Consoling Thoughts series.
And then this issue is on theSacred Heart and it's an excerpt
(16:14):
from St John Eudes, who iswriting about the Sacred Heart
and Jesus loving us like hisFather loves him.
And then another feature thatwe just added this month we
didn't have in the first issuewas a priest, a faithful,
traditional priest, who isanswering reader questions.
So one of the questions that areader had was about something
(16:35):
called Gregorian Masses and howcan we offer them for our loved
ones.
Well, I had never heard ofGregorian.
Masses, so I was really excitedto hear his answer and it's a
series of Masses that you canhave offered.
I want to say it's 30 Massesthat you can have offered for
your love.
Oh, yes, I've heard of those.
Have you heard of that?
(16:56):
Okay, yeah, so it's really hardA lot of times.
It's hard for parish priests todo, because they're taking on
the intentions of theirparishioners as well.
But sometimes you can findsomeone in a monastery or
(17:16):
something you know who doesn'thave those parishioner
intentions that he's praying for, who can provide a Gregorian
Mass, which I never knew aboutthat.
So that was just a neat fact.
So, yeah, we have had somereaders send in questions about,
you know, just like, what doesthe church teach about this?
Or you know how do I offer upmy sufferings and unite them
with Christ, what is redemptivesuffering?
So, anyway, those are someother things.
The last two remedies that StThomas Aquinas offers.
(17:40):
Sorry, I couldn't come up withthat word.
One of them is weeping, whichis like obvious, right, but
sometimes we forget andsometimes we feel uncomfortable
doing it around other people.
So weeping is another one whichis something, again, with this
magazine format, you can readand weep all you want and nobody
(18:02):
, nobody has to see you if youfeel uncomfortable doing that.
And then a warm bath and a napis the other one, and I think
that's great because it reallyjust it's clear that he
recognized the physical tollthat grieving takes on our
bodies.
You know, it's exhausting, it'sachy, it makes us ache, like
physically ache, it's intense togrieve, and so my hope is that
(18:25):
this can help.
Whether the beauty, thepleasure, the contemplation of
truth did I get them all.
Condolence of Friends, and thenWeeping and the Warm Bath and a
Nap, yeah, those are the fiveremedies.
So my hope is that this formatthe people will have to provide
the warm bath and the nap forthemselves, but it will just
(18:47):
give them a little bit of ataste of those other things to
just hold on to.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I would love to hear more about the structure of the
magazine.
I know you said there are hymnsand special writers.
Is everyone who contributes aguest writer or are there
consistent writers every month?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
That's a good question.
We do have some monthlycontributors who have agreed to
write a piece every month, andthen we have we also take
submissions from guest writers.
So if anyone is interested incontributing, they can find the
link at the top of the magazine.
It says submissions.
So would you like to writesomething?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Paige, I would love to write something.
I would love it.
I know I told you last time wetalked that I would love to
write something and I think Iknow a couple of people here who
would love to as well.
I would love it.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
That would be great yep, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
So is there anything you're particularly excited for
that's either coming up just forthe magazine or coming up
within the magazine?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
yeah, so my hope was to to launch it and to and it
still is to keep the magazinefree, like I don't want there to
have to be subscribers.
I want it to be something thatpeople who are grieving can find
online and just have somethings to slow down.
(20:07):
You know, the articles are notshort, especially the writings,
the excerpts from the saints,and that's intentional because
everything is in these likeYouTube short formats right now
where we're just like onto thenext, onto the next, onto the
next, and it really like it'sreally detrimental to us to live
like that Right, and I thinkgrief takes time.
(20:28):
It requires us to sort of slowdown, whether we want it to or
not.
You know, part of that warmbath and a nap, it's just
exhausting, you know.
So I wanted it to be somethingthat people could just take
their time over and andcontemplate as they're reading,
and think about and have it justbe something that they're
chewing on and and processingalong with their grief.
(20:50):
So, so, what was so?
Anyway, okay, so the, yeah, the, the format.
Were you?
I'm sorry, what was thequestion?
Again, what were you originallyasking?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
yeah, is there anything you're particularly
excited for?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
oh yeah yeah, okay, so I'm so sorry yeah, so I
always want that to be free andonline available for readers,
but I was.
I have had other people ask meare you going to have a print
version of this or is there away I can sign up and subscribe
to contribute to this?
So one of the things I've beentalking about with our monthly
(21:27):
contributors is maybe having asubscription feature for a low
amount, something reasonable,because people don't like to.
I didn't want to pay money toget to heal from my grief, you
know, it was just so, um, sojust offering some extra things
like, um, maybe some of thearticles would be an audio
(21:49):
format read by the writers, oran interview with the
contributors, or some printablesthat they can download and
print, and so for like a smallsubscription fee, they could get
some extra resources.
There might also be in thefuture.
I was thinking about doing anonline grief support group,
(22:10):
because not every church has abereavement support group Mine
doesn't and so even if I couldcreate an online community for
those subscribers so that, ifthey needed, you know, with a
weekly grief support or amonthly grief support group,
that you could just connect withother people and have that
connection.
So there's, you know, we areonly on our second issue.
(22:33):
This month is our second issue,so there are some ideas I have
in the works and then possiblymaybe a print just expanding
into meeting people's needs alittle bit more where they,
(22:58):
where they are, you know if theyneed that, that grief, that
extra support or that griefgroup or something.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah, Well, the possibilities are truly endless,
especially since you guys didonly release your second edition
this month, which I'm veryexcited to read.
Where can our listeners findthe magazine online and can they
follow you on social media?
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Those who mourn magcom it'sjust those who mourn with M-A-G
mag at the endcom is the websiteaddress.
So, and then you can.
It's, the main issue is the onethat's the home page, but you
can.
There's a little tab for issuesin the in the menu and you can
look at the May issue and allthe back issues will be there.
(23:42):
And then, likewise, on social,it's those who mourn mag.
So Facebook is that.
Instagram is that.
Pinterest is that?
So those are the social sitesthat we are on to.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Perfect, and for our listeners, I will link the
website and their social mediasin the description, so feel free
to click on there and check outthe magazine.
Eileen, I think that's all wehave for you for today.
Is there anything else you'dlike to share?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
No, I really, really appreciate you letting me come
back on here and seeing you bothagain, or well, I saw the same
thing again um, right and uhyeah, just thank you for the
opportunity to share thisresource.
I hope that and pray that it'ssomething that um others take
comfort in when they'resuffering.
I completely agree.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Well, thank you once again.
So much for joining us.
And this has been CC Airwaves.
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