Spiritual but Not Religious? {Reflections}

Ever caught yourself nodding along when someone says, "I'm spiritual but not religious"? This reflexive distinction has become commonplace in our culture, but what are we really saying when we make this claim?

Ryan dives deep into this modern spiritual paradigm, examining how many people approach faith like a buffet—selecting appealing elements while leaving behind anything that causes discomfort or demands sacrifice. While the desire to build a meaningful spiritual life is admirable, this à la carte approach might inadvertently filter out the very elements that foster profound personal transformation.

Through a vulnerable personal story of betrayal and forgiveness, Ryan illustrates how the most challenging aspects of faith—dying to self, loving enemies, blessing persecutors—became his pathway to growth. When a close friend spread damaging lies about him, every natural instinct screamed for revenge. Instead, his religious commitment demanded forgiveness. "It felt like death," he shares, "but it was a death that leads to resurrection." This raw experience demonstrates why tethering ourselves to something greater than our preferences—the true meaning of "religion" from the Latin religio—can lead to a more flourishing human experience.

As we approach our milestone 100th episode, this reflection challenges listeners to consider: Are we gravitating only toward comfortable spiritual teachings? What transformation might we find in embracing the difficult, counter-cultural elements of faith tradition? Rather than viewing religious commitment as restrictive, could it instead provide the framework for authentic spiritual growth that transcends our natural inclinations? Join us as we explore why being "tied to something deeper" might be exactly what our souls need.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:14):
What is up everybody?
Hey, it's Ryan here and welcometo our Reflections podcast.
We are getting closer toepisode 100.
So I don't know about you, butI'm excited and we'll do
something special for that one.
But today, you know, I wastalking with a guy a couple
actually, a few months ago now,and he was in my office and he
was like hey, I just want totell you, ryan, that I'm
spiritual but I'm not really areligious guy.

(00:36):
And he was sort of expressingthis sentiment that many people
today say and it's that exactverbage is like hey, I'm a
spiritual person but I'm notreally religious.
And so he's like that's why Idon't come to church.
I don't really ascribe to allthe same things you do, but I'm
very spiritual.
And what I think I find is thatmost folks with that kind of
sentiment, what they're doing isthey're kind of going around

(00:59):
and sort of curating thisspiritual life by choosing a
little bit of this from overhere and a little bit of that
from over there and from allthese traditions and these sort
of faith streams, be itChristian or otherwise, and
they're kind of compilingtogether this sort of composite
faith and I think the impetus orthe longing or like the desire
to do that is actually reallygood, like they're really kind

(01:20):
of trying to build thisspiritual life.
But I think here's the problemwith that is that for me, I know
that if I were to do that, youknow, if I were to kind of go
and approach my faith as thoughI was at like some kind of a
spiritual buffet and like choosea bit of this and choose a bit
of that, I would probably leavethe parts of the faith or of the
spiritual life that I didn'tlike, the parts that cause

(01:43):
discomfort, like in the Jesusstory, the parts about like
dying to yourself or taking upyour cross or forgiving my
enemies, any of the hard parts,like putting me second.
You know, blessed are the poorand the weak.
You know, washing my friends,washing the feet of the world,
those kind of things are verydifficult and they cause all

(02:03):
kinds of discomfort and pain.
I don't always agree with them,even in sort of myself, and so
I would probably leave thoseparts behind and take all the
other parts that are a lot more,you know, palatable or they
taste better and they smellbetter.
I would take just the goodparts.
But here's the thing, though,if I did that, you know I would
be leaving out all the parts ofmy faith that actually transform

(02:26):
me and have the power to changeme from the inside out, like
this.
Dying to myself is that that'swhat changes me.
Loving my enemies softens myheart, blessing those who
persecute me that actually makesme a better person.
And choosing the way of thecross, over the way of glory,
every time makes me a betterperson.
That's actually what forms meand shapes me, and so I tell

(02:47):
folks I get it.
I get it.
So here's where things reallybegin to kind of hit home for me
.
A couple of years ago I had thisfalling out with a close friend
and this close friend I foundout had betrayed me in this
incredibly intense way.
And this friend of mine wasactually out in the community
spreading lies about me and itwas wild.
And somebody heard it and thencame back and told me and when

(03:10):
they told me I was like there'sno way.
There's no way that this personis doing that, these incredibly
audacious and totally falselies about me, and there's no
way.
And so I confronted this closefriend of mine.
I was like hey, is this true?
And when I confronted them, theperson just uh, broke down
crying and it's like, yeah,that's true and there's all

(03:32):
kinds of reasons why this personwas doing that and uh, you know
, uh, but in that moment thisperson was like I'm so sorry and
kind of, uh, we kind of hashedthings out and I left that
meeting just still like likewhat whirling, you know?
I mean, I was still like justspiraling, like how could this
person have done that?
I was so mad, I was so angry, Iwas betrayed, like the bottom
had kind of fallen out and itwas unbelievable.

(03:54):
And, um, but, and everything inme wanted to like no, I'm not
going to forgive this person.
I want to like string them up,I want to post about them on
Facebook, I want to like telleverybody like here's the truth
about this person and thisperson's like a total, you know
but but I'm like I can't do thatbecause Jesus uh says no, don't
do that.
Like offer forgiveness and ofcourse here forgiveness does not

(04:14):
mean like just take it and likehave no accountability and be,
you know, be spineless hedoesn't mean that but like
really genuinely offerforgiveness and give them, you
know, the like, let them go andlet me deal with them.
Jesus would say, but nothing inme wanted to let this person go
and be entrusted into God'scare.
I wanted the exact justice andvengeance you know what I mean,

(04:37):
but I couldn't.
No, the tradition I'm a part of,the Christian faith doesn't
allow me to do that, and it feltlike death, because offering
forgiveness and like lettingothers off the hook and
entrusting them into God's carefeels like death.
I have to let go of my owncontrol, and like my own, you
know, I wanted to go out intothe world and like spread like

(04:58):
no, what this person said wasfalse, it was wrong, but I'm
like, I'm not going to do thatbecause the faith that I belong
to says don't do that, let Godsort it out.
And so I did, but it felt likedeath.
But I think, like Tim Kellersays, though, it was a kind of
death, but a death that leads toresurrection.
So I get it, but for me it'slike no, I want to choose
something very specific, in thiscase the Jesus tradition that

(05:21):
looks like this self-sacrificialdeath on the cross, and I want
to tie myself to it.
The word religion or religioreally means just to tie
yourself or to tether yourselfto something, and in this case.
I've done that with theChristian story, the Jesus story
, because I know that that'swhat makes me a more flourishing
human being, rather than theguy who just sort of picks all

(05:42):
the delicious parts of thebuffet.
I'm choosing these other thingsas well that come with it.
So today, may you have a deepsense of being tied to something
that's deeper than your ownself and your own sort of
choosing, and maybe tethered andreligious about the right
things that bring life and humanflourishing.
All right, love you guys, peace.
Hey, if you enjoy this show,I'd love to have you share it

(06:08):
with some friends.
And don't forget, you arealways welcome to join us in
person at Central in Elk River,at 830, which is our liturgical
gathering, or at 10 o'clock, ourmodern gathering, or you can
check us out online atclcelkriverorg Peace.