The Chaos Inside Us {Reflections}

Have you ever wondered why spiritual clarity often follows periods of inner turmoil? In this reflective episode, we explore the powerful story of Elijah from 1 Kings—a narrative that perfectly captures the spiritual rollercoaster many of us experience.

Elijah's journey takes us from the triumphant heights of Mount Carmel, where he spectacularly defeats the prophets of Baal, to the depths of despair in the wilderness when Jezebel threatens his life. What makes this story so relevant is how it mirrors our own spiritual experiences—those moments when victory quickly dissolves into vulnerability. 

The heart of this episode focuses on Elijah's encounter with God in a cave, where he witnesses powerful wind, earthquake, and fire, yet finds God in none of these dramatic displays. Instead, the divine presence appears in what scripture beautifully calls "the sound of sheer silence." Drawing on Ruth Haley Barton's insightful commentary, we explore how these elemental forces might actually represent the inner chaos that emerges when we finally sit in silence and solitude—when we stop numbing ourselves with distractions and busyness.

This understanding transforms how we approach spiritual practices and personal growth. When we create space through silence, therapy, or breaking dependencies, we often experience an internal storm of racing thoughts, buried emotions, and existential questions about identity and purpose. Rather than retreating from this discomfort, we're encouraged to persist through it, believing that authentic divine encounter awaits on the other side of chaos. If you're navigating your own spiritual wilderness or feeling overwhelmed by internal turbulence, this episode offers perspective and hope for the journey ahead.

Share this episode with someone who might need encouragement to persist through their own inner chaos. How might your perspective shift if you viewed your internal struggles not as obstacles but as necessary clearing for deeper connection with God?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey, what is up?
Everybody?
My name is Ryan.
Welcome to our ReflectionsPodcast.
Hey, there's this great story.
I love it.
It's in the book of 1 Kings andit's about Elijah and him going
to meet with God in this cave.
I preached on it a couple ofweeks ago, actually this past
week, and when this podcastcomes out it'll have been a
couple of weeks ago.
But here's a quick recap.
And then there's a part at theend that I read this commentary

(00:36):
on it that changed how I thinkabout it a little bit and it's
fascinating.
I want to share it with youguys.
So Elijah defeats the prophetsof Baal.
You can read this in 1 Kings 18.
And you know, the people ofIsrael have been led astray by
King Ahab and Queen Jezebel, whoworshiped Baal.
They had a temple built forBaal this was uncool if you're
you know, if you're an Israeliteking and they did it anyway,

(01:11):
and Jezebel was kind of thedriving force of it.
But either way, the Israel, thenation's going astray.
And so Elijah, the prophet ofGod, comes and kind of hosts
this challenge on Mount Carmeland he defeats the prophets of
Baal.
In this dramatic show, godYahweh comes down in fire and
burns up the sacrifice in thealtar.
Prior to this, the prophets ofBaal were begging their god Baal
to come and do something and hedidn't do anything.
And there's this great linewhere Elijah's talking trash to
the prophets of Baal.
He's like hey, where's your god?
Does he not hear you?
Is he in using the bathroom?

(01:33):
Which is awesome.
So smack talk is definitely abiblical thing.
Anyway, after this happens, youknow, elijah has this incredibly
climactic moment in his life.
He's achieved a great, you know, a great thing here, and but
almost immediately Jezebel'sangry with him and furious.
Of course, she's been shown upand she threatens to kill him.
And in this moment Elijah goesfrom the mountaintop, literally,

(01:56):
but also metaphorically, to theValley of Despair and he runs
for his life because he knowsthat she's going to try to kill
him.
And in the meanwhile, it seemslike he's like losing everything
that he had sort of gained onthe mountain, like his hope, his
inspiration, his meaning forthe future.
All this seems to go away andhe actually walks out into the
desert places, the wild places,the wilderness, and he collapses

(02:17):
under a tree and he asks God totake his life.
It's like a dramatic shift.
I mean, like a moment ago hewas like the king of the world
Not really, but I had thisincredible moment with God.
And now, because Jezebel hasthreatened his life, he's in
despair, with depression,anxiety and loneliness in the
desert and he asks God to takehis life.

(02:38):
So this angel comes, wakes himup, gives him some food.
He falls back asleep.
The angel comes back and giveshim some more food.
He falls back asleep.
And I made this joke that like,hey, you know, sometimes all
you need is a good meal and agood nap to get through life and
get through the day.
And then the angel calls him tothe cave and he goes.
After wandering for about 40days, he goes to this cave to

(02:59):
meet with God and he waits therefor God and he's waiting alone
in the silence and the solitude,and there's this wind, this
incredibly dramatic wind, thatcomes through and he goes to the
mouth of the cave and he thinksthat God is meeting him in the
wind.
But God isn't in the wind, thetext tells us.
And then, after the wind,there's this dramatic earthquake

(03:19):
, like this earth-shaking moment, this earthquake, and he
believes it's God coming to meetwith him in the earthquake and
he goes and it's not.
God isn't in the earthquake.
And then this fire, likethere's this incredible display
of fire and God is not in thefire either.
And then he goes back to thecave and he hears.
The text tells us he hears thesound of sheer silence, which is

(03:41):
a cool way to put it.
Like how could he hear thesound of sheer silence?
What does sheer silence evensound like?
But he hears this, he goes tothe mouth of the cave and there
God waits to talk to him.
But here's okay, I read.
Here's the commentary, thoughthis really great author her
name is Ruth Haley Barton andshe's an incredible she has this
great book called Invitation toSilence and Solitude, or rather

(04:03):
Solitude and Silence.
She's awesome.
And in her she says look, Ibelieve that there was probably
a literal wind and a literalearthquake and a literal fire.
But she also says that thiselemental chaos is actually a
metaphor for the inner chaosthat sort of surges within us
when we sit in the presence ofsilence and solitude, in the

(04:25):
presence of God, long enoughthat we can kind of quiet our
souls and let the sediment ofour lives settle.
We can kind of quiet our soulsand let the sediment of our
lives settle.
So she believes that thesethings that happen, like this
chaos, is actually going onwithin us all the time.
We don't always recognize itbecause we've too readily busied
ourselves and numbed ourselves,distracted ourselves, to never

(04:46):
notice the chaos that's alreadygoing on inside of us.
That's something like a windand an earthquake and a fire.
And she says, when we have beenstripped of all external
distraction, we face the factthat the deepest level of chaos
is inside of us, at our verycore.
I love that.
I think it's true.
I think that we are so busy andfull of distractions and things
that we use to numb ourselves,we don't notice it.

(05:07):
Deep within our souls we havethis internal chaos, which is
why sometimes, when youexperience practices like
silence and solitude, or whenyou go to therapy or when you
just have these incrediblemoments of being with the
presence of God, you begin tohave all this stuff come out of
you.
It's like, oh my gosh, it'slike an earthquake or a fire or
a wind.
And why being in silence andsolitude is so difficult?

(05:28):
Because inevitably for a lot ofus, when we do that, our mind
starts racing or all thesequestions start coming up from
deep within us, questions likewho am I really?
What do I have to offer if notproductivity in my life?
And am I really worth beingloved as I am, not as I should
be?
And what do I do with all thepain and the sadness and the

(05:49):
longing in my life, theunfulfilled longings, and what
is life really all about?
And all these things begin tocome up and it feels like chaos.
So here's what I'd encourageyou Stick with it.
Whatever practices you're doingthat kind of cause this chaos
and the you know, the monkeybrain to go crazy or the
physical body to go kind ofhaywire because you've engaged

(06:09):
in these practices, stick withit and I think inevitably, on
the other side, that's when Godwill be able to meet with you.
I don't know how long it willtake, but whatever you're doing,
if you're practicing silenceand solitude or going to therapy
, or stopping drinking alcoholor using drugs or whatever the
things are that you've normallydone to numb out whatever space

(06:29):
you've created to meet with God,and all that stuff starts to
come out of you, the inner chaosjust keep doing it and see what
happens on the other side.
I do believe on the other side,that God will meet with you and
begin to speak with you.
But all that stuff has to kindof come out and you have to be
present with it.
Don't go back to numbing out orback to your normal routines
and regular things.
Stick with that chaos, the windand the fire and the earthquake

(06:52):
, and then eventually it'llsettle down and then you can see
what's on the other side.
I believe the other side.
You'll meet with God.
So there's my encouragementStick with it and imagine that
inner chaos in you coming outand let it go and see what
happens next.
All right, love you guys, peace.
Hey, if you enjoy this show,I'd love to have you share it

(07:14):
with some friends.
And don't forget, you arealways welcome to join us in
person at Central in Elk Riverat 830, which is our liturgical
gathering, or at 10 o'clock, ourmodern gathering, or you can
check us out online atclcelkriverorg.
Peace.