Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I'm Bill George. We're talking withBrenda Lee O'Hara. She is the founder
and CEO of O'Hara Senior Care Services. Hi Brenda Lee, Hello to you
in good afternoon, and thanks forhaving me, sir. It's our pleasure
tell us about the mission of O'HaraSenior Care Services and the work that you
do. So in a nutshell,honestly, our mission is to help maintain
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a parent child relationship. So whenas our parents get older and they need
some support, whether it's a coupleof hours a week to constantly, if
there's any kind of activities of dailyliving that are not getting done or happening,
and you're kind of stretching yourself thinas an adult child trying to meet
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all of those needs and have arelationship, and you know, you have
your children and career and all ofthat stuff, and you're trying to tend
to mom and dads, making surethey're eating, taking their pills, getting
to their appointments. And so theadult children that are becoming the key giver
are spread thin, and it's timethat something's got to give, and that's
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typically when they call me. It'susually when they're at their wits end when
something has got to give, whethertheir job is a jeopardy or the relationship
is. You know, there's awedge there because time is being spent away
from home, you know, awayfrom things that have to get done there
too. A lot of times feelingsarise that are unpleasant. Spouses get get
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aggravated with that, or they getshort or tempered or whatever the situation is.
And when intention is taken away froma relationship and it's not nurtured it
something does give. And so youknow, you make your choice. And
at that time when they call BrendaliaO'Hara is when I come in and I
help maintain that parent child relationship sothat you can come in and have a
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cup of coffee or a meal withyour parents and not have to worry about
cooking, cleaning, appointments, laundry, bed linen changes, all that stuff
that has to get done neglected thatin your own home. Right. So,
I think adult children our age fiftiessixties, this sandwich generation that's we're
known as us that have elderly parents. My mom's eighty four, my mother
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in law is ninety three. Bothliving at home, both need supports and
trying to meet all of those needsis very retiring. It's exhausting mentally,
emotionally, physically, and sometimes financially. Yeah, and this is something that's
really unique to our time right nowbecause for two reasons. Number one,
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like you say, there's a Sandwichgeneration, and we are all busier,
both in every couple just about bothpartners work, and we're all so busy.
And our parents are living longer thesedays as well. So this is
a need that's really unique to ourage. It truly is it really,
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truly is Bill, And what Isee is a lot of the times it's
a burden. You know, theburden falls to typically one child. So
what I see a lot of thetimes, and when I'm asked to come
into somebody's home and do an assessment, you know, so you call me,
you know, you think that yourparents could use a little support,
and so let's call Brenda Lane seewhat she has to offer. First of
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all, the challenge of that parent, elderly parent, having services, agreeing
to services that in and of itselfis quite a challenge because they don't feel
as though they need those services.They don't want anybody into their homes.
They're very private people. They cando for themselves, even though we can
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see that they're really stuff isn't gettingdone right, or they only my daughter
will do it, She'll come anddo it, you know, and your
daughters like you know, trying tomeet everybody else's needs, including her job,
you know, her career, whetherit's you know, a high pressure
job or an entry level position.Employers only up with being patient a little
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bit, just a little bit fora short period of time and it gets
old, right. So so that'sthe challenge. A lot of times,
it's just getting our foot in thedoor, and then you know, them
realizing and recognizing that services with usis because we want you to stay home.
I do this. That's why Iopened my business, so that you
could stay home and not have togo to the dreaded facility setting where you
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know, I've been doing this fortwenty years. Filled twenty years, I've
met thousands of families, and I'mnot exaggerating. I'm sure I have never
heard anybody say I want to goto the nursing home. I'm ready.
Not one time, really, notone time has that ever happened. And
there are some beautiful facilities that arenot nursing homes that are assisted livings right,
they are, They're beautiful, theyoffer everything one could want. And
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if you have a lot of money, they feel a lot of money,
then you can go there for agood long time. But if you don't
have a lot of money on afixed income and your home ISA is your
own only asset, well, thatmoney runs out quickly, and so a
lot of the times own care isa better alternative because that's where they want
to be, that's where they feelsafe. They've been there most people thirty
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forty fifty years now and it's wherethey want to be. Now, can
they age in places? The housethat they can age in place doesn't need
to be adaptable. Are the steersup your bedrooms? Upstairs? Are their
bathrooms? They're steers to navigate forthe laundry. So there's a lot of
considerations on the challenges that go alongwith being able to stay home. And
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I always say when I go intoan assessment, I'm there for the client
whoeber calls me for their parent,whether there's one child or six children,
because they all have their own ideaof what should happen. Right, they
should she go to when assisted living? Maybe she should stay home with services
and police. Maybe we'll build anin lawrel over here in the garage and
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we'll take her over here at ourhouse. And I say, you know,
that's all well and good, butwhat do you want, missus Smith,
What would you like to do?What is your desire? And if
she's capable cognitively and able to makethat decision, we need to consider that
she wants to stay home, well, then maybe we should see if that's
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possible with some services there. Andthat can look like so many different things,
Bill. You know, we startoff a lot of the times with
one or two times a week,literally one or two times a week,
couple of three, four hours ata time, go in, do the
laundry, take them shopping, makea couple of meals for them, because
you know, when you sit andeat with somebody, you eat better.
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And I service many people who livealone. They live alone. You know,
they get lots of phone calls fromtheir children, but it's not like
being in person with somebody. Sowhen you call your mom a lot of
times it's like, hey, mom, how's it going. Oh it's great,
honey. Did you take your pill? Yeah? I took my pill.
How's everything going? It's fantastic.I had a great breakfast and you
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go there, you know, acouple of hours later and you see the
pills. It's still there. Shehad a half the doughnut. So they're
telling you what you want to hearso that you think that it's okay that
they can stay home when in fact, you know, all of the things
that should be happening are really nothappening. Yes, and we've all seen
this, you know, I seeit with friends and neighbors, and it
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runs the gambit, right. Soin some cases they're families who only live
maybe one street away from mom ordad, who are by themselves, and
in other cases they might be,you know, an hour away, so
that's not all that convenient. Andno matter what, everybody is busy these
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days, and like you say,there are going to be those things that
need to be done, so let'stalk about those services in particular. You
started to get into some of thosethings that can be done. So they
give you a call and they say, Brenda Lee, my mom is alone.
We need some help. Tell usabout that process and what are those
particular services that you can bring tothe ale when somebody has those needs.
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So typically somebody is calling me becauseyou know, the activities of daily living
are not being met. So alot of the times dementia, whether it's
age related or forgetfulness. Most ofthe times, clients that we're seeing are
well into their eighties and sometimes evennineties, and so they're worried that they're
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not eating properly. You know,the bed hasn't been changed, and it's
only getting done when they're going there. So their concern is that all of
the things that need to get doneare not getting done, and they're trying
to do that while from afar,whether it's down the street like you just
mentioned, or another you know,a twenty minute on our car drive away,
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and we'll go in and I'll sit, you know, for the assessment,
and we'll determine what their needs are, what they should look like,
how often that should be. Theother challenge is matching the caregiver to the
client. So a lot of thetimes with clients that you know, like
a chatty Cathy, some people don'tlike a chatty cat. Some people,
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you know, do they have cats? Is their allergies. There's so many
factors in who I put in yourmom's home and needs to be a good
match, right, So they're usuallyuneasy as it is having a stranger come
in. But once we get ourfoot in the door and they realize that
this is really a good thing forthem, and they meet the mature,
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seasoned caregiver who becomes a friend reallyand they are there for all of their
needs, whether it's like I said, a couple of days a week or
every day during the week. Everythingthat needs to be done for your mom
is done while we are there.So that gives you an opportunity to come
in and sit and have you know, a meal with her on a Sunday.
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Because everything is done, the housesin order, the trash has been
taken to care of, the laundry'sdone, the bed linen's been changed,
and all of the appointments have beendone. You know. That's another whole
thing that we provide services for istransportation to appointments. You know, there
are other services available. It's notpersonalized. You know, the ride bus
is fantastic, but you know,put your eighty five year old mother on
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the ride bus to the doctors andit's a you know, four hour round
trip where our caregivers are going inwe're helping them in we're taking them into
the appointment. We're going in theappointment with them, if need be reporting
back to the family, so sothat you can again be abreast of everything
that's going on, know what's goingon, because you really can't depend on
I can't depend on my eighty fouryear old mother to tell me what happened
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in that doctor's appointment and whether it'sintentional or not. I really would like
to know what the doctor says,so I will have one of the caregivers
going with her so that she canreport any changes with medications, recommendations and
such. So having you know,somebody there for just a couple of hours
a week really makes a significant differencein my adult children's life. Like the
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peace of mind that you have,like you can be at work right now
and not have to worry what's goingon at home right you don't have to
make fourteen phone calls or receive phonecalls. And this happens a lot.
You know, My mother used tocall all the time. My mother in
law is notorious. She calls mybrother in law constantly. She forgets he's
at work and he's constantly being interruptedby the phone calls, you know,
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and she doesn't call. That's whenthere's a keygiver there, right. So
the quality of life, of course, to me is the most important thing
that I can provide, not onlyfor my client, but for our adult
children too, because you get yourlife back when there's somebody there that you
can depend on that you know she'seating right, especially for those that live
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alone. I will tell you bill, people don't put a price tag on
such services. To me, themost important service that I provide is companionship
for those at alone, because there'sa lot a lot of hours in the
day, and what we bring whenwe bring companionship, they eat right,
and they take their pills when they'resupposed to, and they're in a clean
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environment and a safe environment, andtheir hygiene is being addressed, and they
have the companion. The constant companionshipof the same person over and over again
makes us significant difference in their qualityof life. So for me, you
ask for the mission. The missionis to help maintain the parent child relationship.
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But for me, honestly, themost important thing that I bring to
the table for everybody, the clientand the family member is a quality of
a life that they didn't necessarily haveprior to me coming on board and providing
your mom or your dad with somebodythat really becomes almost a family member,
right, and you can depend onis going to be there, and you
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trust that everything that is going onat that house is just like they would
do for their own mother and father. And so that's why I have an
older, more mature staff. Weemploy forty five ish caregivers out servicing all
Rhode Island for twenty plus years now, and I really can't tell you how
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proud I am that, at onefamily at a time, we provide a
quality of life that matters not onlyfor my client, but as importantly for
their adult children and family member andspouses as well. So that's sort of
what I like to take away whenI leave the home. When I come
into your mom's home and sit withyou all for an hour, two hours,
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however however long that is, Iwill never say okay, when do
we start? I will say no, no, no. You will all
talk amongst yourselves about what you wouldlike my services to look like. And
then this is no pressure. Nobody'sever going to call you and constantly I
did you make a decision? Wedon't do that. It's I came,
I told you what we do.I informed you of how we do,
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what we can do for you,how it can be paid for privately,
right, So it is private privatepay obviously, And there's a long term
care insurance which is a specific along term care insurance policy that some folks
have the wherewithal to have purchased manyyears ago and now that they can use
it because they're homebound and needed.It pays for our cagarists to come in.
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And there's a couple of programs outin the community that help pay for
some of the cost of home care. So I was going to ask you
about that. So those are thingsthat you can also counsel families on as
well, so private pay or thelong term care insurance, or hook them
up with something they might be eligiblefor. Veterans have a very good program,
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oh yeah, or veterans in theirsurviving spouse where they can have anywhere
from two thousand dollars down to Ithink it's fifteen hundred dollars for a surviving
spouse of a veteran that will payfor our services. It is an incredible
benefit that it's still little, youknow. Twenty years ago. Twenty years
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ago I heard about it still aslittle known twenty today as it was twenty
years ago. It's called eight inAttendance. And if your mom or dad
is a veteran, was a veteran, or if your spouse was a veteran
and you are now the surviving spouseof a veteran, there is an amazing
amount of benefits through the via.One of them happens to be eight in
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Attendants where you can get that moneyout of money every month and you can
use that to have a kig eor come in three, four or five
six times a week with that money. That is really great. It's a
really incredible program. You had mentionedyour workforce and that they tend to be
mature adults. Tell us a littlebit about those folks, kind of the
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typical person that provides the kind ofthe services that works for you doing that,
tell us about those folks in whatthey're like. So very early on
I figured out who I didn't wantto hire because of that. Because of
this. Can you see this onyour phone? Right? It's fun.
So because of that, my workforceis older and more mature, and a
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lot of them are retired, youknow, whether they retired young from the
school system, or you know,they would stay at home moms. I
like older women who can number one, relate on a different level anyway than
a twenty or even thirty year old. And no disrespect, I mean no
disrespect to the younger generation other thanit's just not the same. It's not
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the same as an older, maturewoman who does this because she wants to
do it, not because she needsto do it. I employ people who
want to have a job. Whensomebody comes in and says they need a
job and they need forty hours aweek and they need this, they need
that, We're not for you.It's just not the right position for you.
Because of the nature of what Ido, right, so I can't
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guarantee anybody anything as far as oursbecause my clients are I don't know what's
going to happen in the short term. So because of that, I have
an older workforce. And I alwayssay this because it's so important in what
I do, and in this industry, there is a huge amount of turnover.
It's incredible the amount of turnover.And I can assure you you can
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ask my pay roll guy that Idon't have that with my agency again,
because I hire folks that want ajob and they don't need a job,
and a lot of them have workedin a facility setting. A lot of
them are former CNAs. I havea couple of former nurses on staff and
they do this because of it's meaningful, it's one on one. They're in
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very nice environments. I myself doevery single assessment because I want to know
where my cad givers are going.Not every client is for me. I've
refused many cases. If I gointo a home and it's unsafe, it's
a fire hazard, it's a hardersituation. I cannot provide services for those
folks because I myself wouldn't do thatand it's a danger, right. So
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I can help them get to peoplewho can address those situations, and I
can come back and I can helpupkeep a clean environment. But I'm not
going to come and clean your environment. No. No, And there's a
big misconception because you know what happensBill, because our services are probably about
half of say the Merry meads,right, if you would have a cleaning
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company come in, it's about servicesare about half the money as if you
were to call it clean, it'slike eighty five dollars an hour. If
you would call a cleaning company,well, because as half or less than
half of that, they want usto go there, Nana, we don't
do that. We're not the cleaningcompany. We're not coming for three hours
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to clean your house. We dolighthouse keeping. So once your house is
clean and you live alone, Imean, how a dirty can to get
So we can do lighthouse keeping,and we keep the kitchen and bedroom areas
clean and tidy and and everything isin order. But again it's not our
agency doesn't We're not a cleaning company. But you change, change the bids,
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things like that. Oh yes,yes, that's a big that's a
big part of what we do.Laundry is down steers. Steers are danger
or an issue, so we dolaundry, bed linen changes, lighthouse keeping.
We run the vacuum because a lotof folks, you know, they're
not even capable of doing that justbecause of their age and vacuuming for me
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it is hard. So sometimes sothose sort of things that need to get
done. Cooking the meals, wedo a lot of meal preparation. I
do a lot of Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedules. Right, so on
Monday we leave stuff for Tuesday.On Wednesday, we have stuff for Thursday.
On Friday, we leave stuff throughthe weekend, and so every day
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they have a good home cooked meal, not eating just a donut or something
that's easy, and you know,the caregivers know what they like. They
know that, you know, theclient can call on Tuesday night, they
know they're coming Wednesday and ask themto pick up whatever it is they need
a quarter milk, half and halfsort of stuff like that. And then
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the transportation bill is a huge pieceof what I do. Transportation to doctor's
appointments, to everywhere, to hearaddresses, to the grocery store, to
visit other people. I do alot of that. To a restaurant,
my caregivers take them, you know, to family functions. We do short
term, we do long term.I do snowbirds. I have a caregiver
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that's traveled to Florida with the familybecause they wanted to keep that caregiver intact
and with their mom because she haddementia. So there's a lot of ways
that we can help families maintain aparent child relationship, you know, without
it becoming where you are the mainkig for that person. Right, So
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that's my mission right, which,like you say, can add tension.
It can be very you know,instead of it being a mother daughter,
mother son whatever relationship. It changesthe dynamic because now you've got somebody who's
you feel like you spend all yourtime wagging your finger at mom, and
mom it doesn't appreciate it very mucheither. So now you've got somebody to
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help be that that excuse me,they can be that in between person that
can help you facilitate letting them livea healthier and safer lifestyle. I can't
express to you the amount of adultdaughters that have called me that really is
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has you know, they sometimes haveto seek therapy over it because it is
so tough. You know, there'sa lot of tough parents out there,
a lot of tough moms, youknow. I've met them all and they's
like, oh, you've never metmy mother. I'm like, no,
no, I have, not specifically, but I trust trust me, I
have. And women just say this. Women are tough. Women are so
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tough to start services with men inall due respect, you don't really care
who's doing the laundry and making thepeanut butter and jelly. It's always been
a woman typically right. So whenI have couples. When I have couples,
sometimes it's a challenge because you know, there's a territorial thing. They
don't like another woman coming into theirkitchen and making the peanut butter and jelly
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for you know, for their walter, and you know, and that's another
challenge that I sometimes have to dealwith. Real thing. Yeah, it
is a very real thing. Soso all of those and I'm so good
at it. Not to toot myown home, but we are very very
good at dealing with all those challenges. And you know, who wouldn't be
twenty years later. So it's whyI'm good at what I do. It's
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why I have staff that doesn't leave. I like an older, more mature
staff. So does my families.You know, they can trust them.
I have never had anything, thankgod, I don't even like to say
it. Nothing, nothing bad hasever happened. So so for that,
I'm grateful, because I am verychoosy with the most important thing that I
do in all of this is whoI'm putting there. Who I'm putting in
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your mother's home. That's the mostimportant thing, because she's a reflection of
me. And I say she becauseI have all women. I have a
handful of men through the years.Nobody wants a man. Women don't want
men in you know, helping themin the bathroom. It's just that simple.
So and men don't want men either. They again, it's always been
a woman. And when they askme for a pretty woman, they're not
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getting that either, So you knowthere's that too. Again. The challenges
are numerous. I would trust mewhen I tell you, from getting our
foot in the door, to thetask at hand and performing the task at
hand, to the weather, toyou know, all of the things that
happened when you're in your own home. And the challenge is a pleasing a
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parent who's not easy to please,right, I mean we all know,
we all have all met them.So always hiring those folks. Now,
by the way, we're always hiring. We're always looking for good caregivers,
trustworthy caregivers. I staff logistically,you know, so if we're in you
know you're in Patucket. I'm notsending somebody from Warwick this nightmare of a
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bridge situation. That is a veryreal thing for a lot of businesses.
But because we staffed logistically, ithas not been as thank god, as
big as a challenge as it couldhave been. So again, weather plays
a huge, a huge weather,this snowstorm. I can't tell you the
amount of time that's spent Monday,you know, try and deal with Tuesday,
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and then yesterday came, and thenthe challenges of if I have to
have a caregiver that's got to getthere, she's got to get there.
Yeah, you know, so soall of those things in the realm,
I'm up a twenty four hour day. We've serviced twenty four to seven.
That's just what we do. Youknow, we never closed. If you
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will, what else heaven we talkedabout that. You want to make sure
people know about Ohara Senior Care Services. Just our a small local company.
I'm not a franchise. I'm nota kitchen name that I have to answer
to a corporate office in the middleof the country. I don't have to
send a big chunk of money toa corporate office in the middle. You
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know what I do with it,Bill, I pay my girls with it.
That's what I do. That's whyI keep them, That's why they
don't leave me. I've always paidthem more than what they make in a
facility setting. You know, Ilike to deal with small locals myself when
I go out to eat, whereI show all of those things that where
I spend my dollars, my hotterand dollars. I like to spend with
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small locals. And I'm not justsaying that because I'm a small local.
I've always felt that way. Sothese big companies is that you know,
I'm not going to name them.But with the kitchen names, I didn't
do a kitchen name because I putmy name on the side of the building
so that you can see this isme, Brenda Lee O'Hara. And you
know, I don't have to runaway from or answer to anybody about how
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I do my services. When Ido my services, how I can perform
my services because there's nobody above me. I am the corporate office right here.
So that's the difference, right Andeverybody can find out about your services
and get in touch through the website, right, Yes, they can at
o'harasnik here dot com. And Ihave a website that is very informative.
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We have partnered with a bunch ofdifferent agencies throughout the state and those relationships
are very important to me in helpingmy families and not only what I do
personally, but thereafter you know whenyou're looking for a facility setting, when
you're looking for a different level ofcare, when you need a nursing level
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of care, we are there topartner with them and work with them in
conjunction. So from the Department ofElderly Affairs to the Veterans Administration, I
have a lot of good relationships inthe community and can advise not only but
what we do, but anything havingto do with elderkir from legal to financial
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to medical. Right, well,it's been a pleasure talking to you,
Brenda Lee. It's been my pleasure. Thank you very much, and thanks
for doing such a great job inletting the community know what we do and
how we do it. You arevery welcome. It's our pleasure. Brenda
Lee O'Hara is the founder and CEOof O'Hara Senior Care Services