September 30, 2024 • 27 mins
What if embracing your true self could lead to unprecedented success and fulfillment? On this episode of the Certain Success Podcast, we sit down with personal branding expert Melissa Hughes, who shares her remarkable journey from being a novice content creator to becoming a flourishing entrepreneur. Melissa's story is deeply rooted in her faith and authenticity, as she recounts a life-changing moment when God called her "His ferocious babe.” This profound experience reshaped her understanding of self-worth and identity, offering invaluable lessons for anyone looking to align their personal and professional lives with their true selves.
We dive into the transformative power of embracing our divine identity and the importance of recognizing and rejecting the lies that often hold us back. Melissa opens up about her experiences with the Enneagram, particularly as an adventurous "cliff jumper" in Enneagram seven, and how these traits help her align with Christ to see her true self. We explore how our perceived weaknesses can actually be the areas where God's strength shines the brightest, and how the enemy often targets these vulnerabilities to make us feel like imposters. Melissa's love for wearing pink becomes a symbol of her journey towards embracing her true identity, serving as an inspiring example for listeners.
In this episode, we also emphasize the necessity of letting go of external validation and focusing on how we are perceived by Christ. Melissa, Joe, and Matt share personal anecdotes that highlight the importance of self-acceptance, love, and maintaining a positive outlook. We discuss the power of saying yes to God and no to the devil, rejecting negative voices, and putting on the "armor of faith" to withstand life's challenges. Tune in to discover how embracing authenticity and staying true to your God-given identity can lead you to a more fulfilled and purposeful life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, hey guys, welcome back to the Certain
Success Podcast.
Matt and Joe here with specialguest our friend from up North
in Michigan, Melissa Hughes.
What's up?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So good to be here, super excited for the show.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Well, you know you're one of those people that I
always look to for insight, andyou know you've been a loyal
listener to the Certain Successpodcast, and you know, joe and I
have been going down this crazyroad talking about the journey
(00:40):
in business with Christ and whatthat looks like, and I know
that that resonates with yourheart.
So before we dig in, though,can you just tell everybody, for
our listeners, a little bitabout Melissa?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, yeah.
So I help business owners growtheir personal brand online and
getting booked on stage.
So I'm like your messagingperson, your story work person,
and I got into this from a wordthat I felt God speak to me
about posting videos online backin 2021.
(01:16):
The very first video that Iposted got 22 million views and
I ended up on the Kelly Clarksonshow and at that point I had
never really done content.
I wasn't a social media person,I didn't even really know that
entrepreneurship was somethingthat was in me, but God just
kind of took me by the hand andstarted putting the right people
(01:37):
in my life, giving me the rightstrategies.
I grew an account to 250,000followers on TikTok and then
entered into this world ofentrepreneurship, helping people
grow their brand, and it's beensuper fun and I feel like I
just did a post today actuallytalking about just the
importance of showing upauthentic online and in our walk
(01:58):
with God, because people just,I think, are sick of seeing
people's highlight reel, becausepeople just, I think, are sick
of seeing people's highlightreel and I want to see
entrepreneurs really dig in towho God's called them to be and
showcase that to the world.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
That's awesome.
Yeah, you know, before we hitrecord, you were talking about
identity, which you and I havetalked at length about, and you
know how fundamentally importantit is to get clear about that,
and I think it's, if anything,it's harder right now because
there's so much buzz around thatword and I think people get
(02:37):
confused about where that comesfrom.
So, can you speak to that alittle bit?
And you know how do you and howdo you see that and maybe how
do you coach people around that.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah.
So I'll share a story, becauseI think stories are ways people
learn lessons and rememberthings.
But when I was 19, I had justgotten saved, gotten filled with
the Holy Spirit, really walkingin the New Testament revelation
of who God was, and I wasworking really hard, matt and
(03:13):
Jill.
I mean, I was really trying tobe a super Christian.
I was trying to pray for peopleon the street and read my Bible
and, you know, do all thethings, and I didn't feel like I
was doing a really great job.
And this one day I had prayedfor someone on the street and
said something I shouldn't havesaid out of my you know
(03:35):
enthusiasm and got in my car andjust had a big pity party for
myself.
Like, oh my gosh, melissa, Ican't believe you said that.
Why did you think that was agood thing to say?
You totally misrepresented God,like you suck, basically.
And in the midst of my pityparty, I truly felt like God,
(03:57):
like I had this picture of likeGod putting his chin in his hand
and like looking at me.
And he just said these wordsMelissa, you are my ferocious
babe, and I knew it was from God, because I never would have
strung those two words together.
I didn't.
I didn't even, I wasn't eventrying to hear from God.
(04:18):
But he just interrupted mythoughts and I thought wait a
second, I don't feel ferocious,I feel stupid and I don't feel
like your babe, I feel like aloser.
And I just started to get thisrevelation that God sees me
differently than I see myself,and the importance of lining my
(04:38):
thoughts, my actions, my wordsup with what he says.
And so when we talk about, likepeople knowing their identity
in Christ, I think it's soimportant to ask that question
have you asked God what hethinks about you and how he sees
you?
Because even when we look atthe Bible, we've seen Moses, he
(05:00):
he saw himself as someone whowas a murderer and a loser,
right, someone that reallymessed up.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You're nailing it with that story, right?
The difference between who Ithink I am, which isn't always
great, like what did you say youknow I suck, which is probably
the predominant thought for mostpeople.
Yeah, and who does God say youare?
And and I love how you landedthat piece about how it's like I
(05:32):
never would have said thatabout myself, right, like that's
where that you click and gothat with me.
And that was probably god.
Yes, it was positive.
You know nothing unscripturalabout it.
Probably god, not one of theother boys.
And uh, now I want to.
I want to talk about joebecause, uh, joe did like last
three days he's just been likehelping people move uh, or
(05:52):
struggle with the hurricanerecovery.
And I was texting him yesterdaymorning and I said I said
because he hasn't, he hasn'treally come out with like this
is what I think my identity is.
So I said, um, I said you haveone of the most uh kind hearts
of any any person I've ever metin my life, joe.
And I said I'm changing yourname, my phone, because I put
people's weird names in my phonefor people.
(06:13):
So I'm changing my name in myphone for joe to gentle heart
until you tell me something elsethat god says is your your
identity?
So I so I don't know.
I kind of cheated, I'm like I'mpushing an identity on him, um,
but that's uh, yeah, it's gotto come from yeah it's got to
come from up, from up there,right.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's how we know, at
least for me, that's how I knewit was from the Lord, because I
was like I never would have putthose words together and it
brought this immense peace andhope and comfort to me and I
remember just crying in my car.
So I think that's a really goodprayer.
A good step is for anyonelistening, like take time, and
(06:56):
you might not get it in themoment right when you're like
praying and asking, it's notgoing to like immediately come
to you.
That doesn't mean you don'thear from God.
I think it's just asking andbeing open in the next couple of
days, weeks, months, as you askGod what do you really think
about me?
How do you see me?
How should I identify?
Which is a real big topic for alot of people.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Well, and it has to, it has to resonate right, when,
when, when god called you that,I bet it.
It sunk and you're like, yeah,you know, when I'm at my best,
that resonates with who I am,you know, and, and it and it,
and it fills you with with joyand you go, yeah, like I can
rise to be that you know.
(07:41):
Uh, so for, for for me, the theclosest.
There've been a few interestingstatements, but, um, but cliff
jumper is my, my number one, mygo-to, like God says you're a
cliff jumper and I'm like youknow what?
That's exactly who I am.
Like when I met my absolutebest and you know, so that's
what you know, that grounding oflike you hear it and you go,
(08:01):
yeah, that's it, you know.
So that's what you know, thatgrounding of like you hear it
and you go, yeah, that's it, youknow.
What do you think, joe?
What are you thinking about?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Oh, I'm still going back to that, your nickname for
me because the next morningafter all those, after three
days of healthy people knockdown drywall, pull up their
floors, just destroying theirhouses even further.
Down drywall, pull up theirfloors, just destroying their
houses even further, I said youcan now name me broken back.
(08:29):
You go from kind hearted toheartbroken to just.
You just don't have anythingelse to feel anymore because
you're just going through theemotion of watching people lose
everything.
And I think that's you know toanyone who's listening.
I had a moment of prayer as youtalked about Melissa, I had a
(08:51):
chance to pray with this oldercouple living in an absolutely
stunning multi-million dollarhome on the water and they were
standing there helpless.
They have none of their kidsare nearby and they didn't know
the next step and the only thingI could think of doing was
putting my arms around them andpraying with them.
I said, Well, let's just startwith prayer, let's, let's start
(09:13):
there.
And and Mary Lou, the wife ofyou know, close to 55 years,
with her husband just startedbreaking down and crying, to 55
years, with her husband juststarted breaking down and crying
, and I think what I pulled fromthat and from what you just
said, you would have nevercalled yourself ferocious, babe.
I don't think we're all outthere making nicknames for
(09:34):
ourselves.
It's what we reveal to others,that they come up with those
thoughts because they see us inhow we are in real life, Not not
what we build up in our, inthat six inches between our ears
.
And it's not like you're tryingto do it for for show or look
at what I'm doing.
(09:54):
That's not what you're doing.
It's this is how God wired meand I really want to do it well
and I want to please God.
And then that's when he tapsyou down and he puts his hand
under his chin and he looks downon that beautiful little face
of Melissa and says you're myferocious babe and I've got such
big plans for you and don't youworry about a thing.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, 100% yeah.
Can I share another story?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
This is another great question that people who are
listening could go away and ask,or maybe some friends that are
close to them.
But I was in this conversationwith someone a couple years ago
and he was frustrated and he waslike man, if everybody could
just be who they are in the bodyof Christ, we wouldn't have any
problems.
(10:43):
And I was like, okay, well, westarted playing this game.
It's like okay, well, who doyou think so-and-so would be?
He's like oh, that's easy,they'd be the mind.
I'm like why would they be themind of Christ?
He's like oh, because theyalways have strategy and the way
that they think and the waythat they process.
Like they'd be the mind.
I'm like oh, that's kind ofinteresting, that's true.
So I started going through allthese people.
(11:04):
What about so-and-so Like?
Oh, easy, he'd be the muscle.
Like, oh, the muscle.
Why would he be the muscle?
He's like because he's justlike a pillar and he can take
strength, like he's strong andhe can take weight, and he's
just like a pillar in the church, like he's immovable.
I'm like man, that's so good.
So I finally plucked up enoughcourage and I said hey, what
(11:27):
about me?
What do you think I would be,he goes easy.
You'd be the smile, You'd bethe smile of God.
And I cannot even tell you theamount of freedom that I
experienced in that moment,cause secretly, I kind of always
wanted to be the mind and Ifelt like I wasn't enough.
(11:47):
Being a smile or the musclesseemed really cool.
But when he said that, I waslike that's it, that's all I
need to be is a smile.
And if I could just be that andI could do that really really
good, then I would be pleasingGod.
And so to me, that is personalbranding, and so from that point
I was like is my room, like mybusiness, does it reflect a
(12:11):
smile?
Does my website reflect a smile?
When I'm interacting withpeople, do they feel a smile?
So I wear bright clothesbecause I feel like it makes
people happy and it's justcompletely changed the way I
show up in the world because Irealize like I'm the smile.
And so a great way to find youridentity in God is to ask
(12:31):
people around you hey, if I was,like you know, a body, part in
the body of Christ, what would Ibe and why and I've asked my
clients this question to do thisexercise?
You would not believe thetransformation that people get
and how it sets people free,because we all secretly wish we
were a different part.
Right, we appreciate the otherparts than ourselves, but it's
(12:55):
so cool to like identify thatand just live in that lane and
stay exactly who you are.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
That's so good.
So, joe's the heart.
I already decided, yeah, forsure, the heart.
But you're totally right, andyou always want to be.
We all want to look over thislike a grass is greener thing.
We're like man.
I wish I was the muscle orwhatever.
But once you really settle intoyou, this is who I am and this
(13:23):
is where I'm going to live from,and it just empowers you to go
forward.
And I think in the businesscontext, we were talking about
this before we hit record todaytoo, of just these, you know,
shifts in understanding andworldview, of that right there,
that's a, that's a worldview,like I understand who I am, in
the, in the, in the body ofchrist, exactly what my identity
(13:46):
is, and if I could just stay inthis lane right here, my
business and everything else isgoing to advance faster, and I
think it's.
It's such a simple thing butyet, you know, profound and
fundamentally hard to gripunless you know, somebody helps
you with it.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I think there's so many times that we get
distracted.
One of the things that justhappened on this call is the
baby started crying behind youand I was looking at both of you
on the screen saying both ofyou stay in the lane, stay,
you're on target, don't moveaway from your message.
And you both did it and I'mwondering if anyone has to go
back and listen because they hada hard time keeping their
(14:31):
attention to that conversationbecause there was a baby in the
background.
And I think in life andbusiness it's even the smallest
distractions that we miss theopportunity, we miss the point
that was supposed to be made forus.
And when you were talking aboutyou know really Christ stepping
(14:51):
and looking down and putting hishand under his chin and telling
you you're a ferocious babe.
He was treating you like a babe.
And that's when that baby wascrying and I was like man.
There couldn't have been a moreperfect moment for that baby to
start crying in that restaurantwhere you crying, and I was
like man.
There couldn't have been a moreperfect moment for that baby to
start crying in that restaurantwhere you are.
And I'm thinking I hope peoplereally stayed focused.
I hope they were listeningthrough that, because that is
(15:13):
such an easy thing for all of usto do is to get distracted and
stay in our lane.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, I want to flip it to the negative too, because
I think another really cool wayto sort of get some confirmation
when you get insight into youridentity is you you.
It resonates with you like wetalked about, in a way that
you're like, yes, that's alwaysbeen true of me, and what you
find when you really dig into itis you is you've recognized
(15:42):
that the enemy's been lying toyou about that all the time,
like he's.
He's actually been attackingthat before you even knew what
ferocious babe was, he was.
He's been telling you all alongthat you're not that and when,
the more you start to understandthat, the more it resonates
he's like that is exactly who Iam and he'd been lying to me,
(16:03):
you know.
Do you get that?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Oh yeah, 100%.
And it's funny because I feellike God speaks to who we are
and a lot of times I swear if Iwould write a book, this would
be the next one.
It would be you're an imposter,because because that is how it
feels when sometimes we receiveour identity is we feel like an
(16:29):
imposter, but it's actually ourdivine design and I think that
the enemy loves to come afterour uniqueness and he loves to
come after the areas in our lifethat you know.
The Bible says that when I'mweak I'll be strong, right.
Well, how do we become strong?
We allow the power of God torest on our weakness Because if
(16:51):
we, you know, whatever we'reweak at, God can shine through.
But I think the enemy likes toplay in that area and capitalize
on our weaknesses and be likethat's going to hold you back,
that's going to keep you fromthe thing when, in reality, it's
actually in our weakness thatGod is strong and so like,
honestly, when I think aboutmyself, the thing that I think
(17:12):
of as far as ferocious babe, thelie is I'm fearful, I'm worried
, I'm not enough, and the babepart to me speaks to being God's
daughter, which is somethingthat I really struggled with
growing up was my relationshipwith my dad, and so, being a
daughter of my dad, you knowlike he's speaking to like
(17:36):
always be with you.
You're my girl, I got your back,I'm here for you, I'm never
going to leave you.
So I just like it was soprofound and I just want to
encourage people like if there'sa lie that's been repetitive in
your life, it's probablybecause that is the exact
opposite of what God has for youand how he sees you and you
(17:57):
probably, you probably won'trecognize the lie until you
start to wake up to youridentity.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And then you go oh man, there's a, there's been
this lie there the whole time.
And you know, uh, if actually Ijust sent Joe something about
Enneagram, you know, I've becomeso fascinated with Enneagram,
you know, and like I, my andlike my identity is cliff jumper
, which is part of being anEnneagram seven.
And there's always this likenegative and positive side.
(18:22):
So the negative side is I canbe impulsive, I can, like, do
things that are erratic, and,and so the enemy is always
attacking that and going like,look, see, you did it again.
You're so impulsive, and that's, that's a bad thing.
But the flip side is, when I'm,when I I'm, when I'm aligned to
(18:43):
who I am and I'm listening tochrist, when I, it's a bravery
to jump, a willingness to jumpthat most people don't have, and
so there's two sides of thesame coin.
It can be spun negative reallyeasily.
But you know, when you're doingit right, you're doing
alignment with christ, you're,this is my, this is my goal, and
he's been lying to me about itthe whole time.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yes, that's so good.
I love that that's so accurateyeah.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
What do you think, joe?
Well, I think that everythingthat we've said so far, I think
Melissa, just the walk thatyou're on, I mean, if you want
an idea of meeting Melissa inperson, she is the smile she
really is when she walks intothe room, she lights it up.
She does have this thing whereshe loves to wear pink and she
(19:32):
owns it, and so it's heridentity that she's embraced,
and I think that is the.
If there is anything thatanyone takes from any of this,
this is we have to be betterabout embracing that, that
wiring that God has given us.
And it's the evil one who'ssaying no, you're not.
That it's.
It's saying yes to God and noto the devil and just saying,
(19:56):
yes, god, I hear you and Ibelieve you, I trust you, I lean
on you.
And the devil.
You're just like kicking themoff to the side and your whole
body armor is on, and you'resaying you know what?
I have the shield of faith on.
You can throw your darts allday long, but I still have god,
and you don't, you know.
So it's, it's that ferociousand it's it's that ferocious and
(20:19):
that's the piece of you, that'syour heart, your smile, that's
what is your identifiers as youwalk into a space or when you
come through on, on everyone'searpieces.
When they're listening to you,they're going to hear it loud
and clear.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
That's awesome.
Thanks, joe, I love that.
Yeah, I totally, I totallyagree.
And I think, if you know, guys,if you're listening to this and
this is all new conversation toyou and you're like I don't
know what my identity is, thinkabout that thing.
That that's that you think istrue of you.
That's negative, that youthat's like what's the thing
(20:56):
that you're always feelingbeaten down about and you're
like I suck because this likewhat what melissa was saying at
the start, and look there, askgod about that, because you
might find that your identity isright there and just being you,
just being attacked all thetime yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
And and I, you know, I think about my husband.
He's very opposite to me, likewe would say like if I'm like
sunshine, he's a stormy dayBecause he's so like he's a
lightning bolt.
He's going to be super honest,transparent.
He won't care if it hurts yourfeelings.
It's the truth.
You need to hear it.
I'm loving you by being honest,like that's who he is.
(21:38):
You need to hear it.
I'm loving you by being honest,like that's who he is.
But you know one of the thingsthat he said with I asked him
this weekend because he's so tome, very authentic and sometimes
the smile, like my downfall canbe.
I don't like to see the negativeright and so coming across
authentic it can.
(21:58):
Sometimes the smile team seemstoo like too good to be true and
I struggled to look at thenegative.
So I asked my husband this weekand I'm like you're, like one
of the most authentic people Iknow, what would you say would
be like the key to authenticity?
He was like, oh, it's like youhave to be so comfortable with
your failures, just socomfortable with your
shortcomings, all this stuffthat, like you think you're
(22:20):
really bad at.
He's like just own it.
Why don't you just own it?
I'm like man, I'm so bad atthat, so bad at that.
But, um, what you're saying,though, matt and Joe, about like
what's the things that you'renot good at, that is a part of
your brand.
And let me just like share aquick story.
(22:40):
Even this, right now we'redoing this podcast, right, I
brought my headphones, but I didnot charge them because I just
I just didn't prioritize, I justforgot that is so on brand for
me, like so on brand.
I put on fake nails, right,right, and I was like, oh, I'm
going to wear these fake nailsand try and like, really like,
look professional, look reallygood.
(23:02):
They fell off because theydidn't do it right, and so I'm
walking around with, like, somenails are on, some nails are off
.
I just look unprofessional,right, kind of undone.
A couple of years ago, I wouldhave been so embarrassed by that
and told myself this story likeman, why can't I be more put
together?
Or by that, and told myselfthis story like man, why can't I
be more put together?
Or, you know, professional,when really the truth is, that's
(23:27):
like I'm the smile I'm meant to.
Like I should laugh it off,like it's.
Have a laugh, be comfortablewith yourself, right, it's okay.
That is so like my messaging,and so I think like there's
something to like looking at thethings that you're embarrassed
about that you think like makeyou less than when really like
if we could just lean into thatand own it like it's on brand
for me I'm going to probablysomehow it might not be perfect
(23:50):
and that there's actuallyfreedom in the imperfection and
that's part of who I am.
That's the message that you'regoing to get from me.
So I think, when you're talkingabout like your identity, like
own, own all of it, the good,bad and the ugly it makes you
who you are, and the the thereason why people would want to
work with you.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, and I think you you also kind of put a shine, a
big light on something thatmight seem obvious to a lot of
people or trite, but it's thisnot caring about what anybody
else thinks other than God, andthat's part of identity too.
It's like I know who I am andthat makes you care so much less
(24:33):
about what everybody else istalking about.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, yeah.
And it's not to say that likewhen you have shortcomings, you
don't choose to grow in thoseareas or whatever.
But we all have things, quirks,things about us, that just we,
we, you know.
If you want to build a strongbrand, I think it's just being
really aware of who you are andwho you are not.
(24:56):
Who you're for and who you'refor, not what pisses you off and
what you love, and just havingso much self-awareness and
ownership and not trying to beanything that you're not and
that's okay.
Jesus, last thing I'll say aboutthis Jesus was the best at this
.
You want to know.
What I love about Jesus Is whenhe was on planet earth, he had
(25:18):
all these naysayers right, allthese people that were like what
are you doing?
I mean, they literally were sopissed off at Jesus that they
crucified him.
We want to know what hisresponse was to all the
religious people.
I didn't come for you.
I didn't come for you.
I came for the broken.
I came for the sick.
I came for the hurting.
Those are my people.
(25:38):
If you're uppity and you'rereligious and you think you've
got it all together like you'renot ready for this, you're not
ready for this and it pissed himoff so much.
they crucified him because hehad such a clear message.
And so, when we're talkingabout identity, there is so much
to like owning who you're forthe people that you're meant to
(26:01):
reach and the people that you'renot.
It might piss some of thosepeople off because they're not
your people, and I think, as abeliever, honestly that is what
we're truly meant to do.
The gospel is offensive.
There should be something aboutus that is offensive to the
people that we're not called toreach.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Exactly.
And before Christ said it isfinished, he said forgive them,
father, for they do not knowwhat they do.
And that's where we all land,where all the naysayers out
there, all the impostersyndromes that we walk around
with, thinking that you know Iwonder what they're thinking
about me.
(26:40):
That needs to go out the window.
What they think about usdoesn't matter.
What our Christ thinks about usand how he wired us and how he
developed our minds and ourhearts to be in this lifetime.
That's how we have to be and asfar as those that aren't in our
, they're not part of our tribeof thinking and they're not
(27:01):
there to rally around us.
We just, we love on them, weforgive their, we forgive them
and move on.
You know we don't go up to themand physically forgive them,
but we just, we move on with ourlives and we, and we know we're
going to do our best of beingourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Yeah totally.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
That's so good.
I think that's a wrap for today, guys.
Melissa, thank you so much forbeing with Joe and I on the
Certain Success Podcast.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Thanks, Melissa.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Thank you.
Okay, hey guys, welcome back to the Certain
Success Podcast.
Matt and Joe here with specialguest our friend from up North
in Michigan, Melissa Hughes.
What's up?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So good to be here, super excited for the show.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Well, you know you're one of those people that I
always look to for insight, andyou know you've been a loyal
listener to the Certain Successpodcast, and you know, joe and I
have been going down this crazyroad talking about the journey
(00:40):
in business with Christ and whatthat looks like, and I know
that that resonates with yourheart.
So before we dig in, though,can you just tell everybody, for
our listeners, a little bitabout Melissa?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, yeah.
So I help business owners growtheir personal brand online and
getting booked on stage.
So I'm like your messagingperson, your story work person,
and I got into this from a wordthat I felt God speak to me
about posting videos online backin 2021.
(01:16):
The very first video that Iposted got 22 million views and
I ended up on the Kelly Clarksonshow and at that point I had
never really done content.
I wasn't a social media person,I didn't even really know that
entrepreneurship was somethingthat was in me, but God just
kind of took me by the hand andstarted putting the right people
(01:37):
in my life, giving me the rightstrategies.
I grew an account to 250,000followers on TikTok and then
entered into this world ofentrepreneurship, helping people
grow their brand, and it's beensuper fun and I feel like I
just did a post today actuallytalking about just the
importance of showing upauthentic online and in our walk
(01:58):
with God, because people just,I think, are sick of seeing
people's highlight reel, becausepeople just, I think, are sick
of seeing people's highlightreel and I want to see
entrepreneurs really dig in towho God's called them to be and
showcase that to the world.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
That's awesome.
Yeah, you know, before we hitrecord, you were talking about
identity, which you and I havetalked at length about, and you
know how fundamentally importantit is to get clear about that,
and I think it's, if anything,it's harder right now because
there's so much buzz around thatword and I think people get
(02:37):
confused about where that comesfrom.
So, can you speak to that alittle bit?
And you know how do you and howdo you see that and maybe how
do you coach people around that.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah.
So I'll share a story, becauseI think stories are ways people
learn lessons and rememberthings.
But when I was 19, I had justgotten saved, gotten filled with
the Holy Spirit, really walkingin the New Testament revelation
of who God was, and I wasworking really hard, matt and
(03:13):
Jill.
I mean, I was really trying tobe a super Christian.
I was trying to pray for peopleon the street and read my Bible
and, you know, do all thethings, and I didn't feel like I
was doing a really great job.
And this one day I had prayedfor someone on the street and
said something I shouldn't havesaid out of my you know
(03:35):
enthusiasm and got in my car andjust had a big pity party for
myself.
Like, oh my gosh, melissa, Ican't believe you said that.
Why did you think that was agood thing to say?
You totally misrepresented God,like you suck, basically.
And in the midst of my pityparty, I truly felt like God,
(03:57):
like I had this picture of likeGod putting his chin in his hand
and like looking at me.
And he just said these wordsMelissa, you are my ferocious
babe, and I knew it was from God, because I never would have
strung those two words together.
I didn't.
I didn't even, I wasn't eventrying to hear from God.
(04:18):
But he just interrupted mythoughts and I thought wait a
second, I don't feel ferocious,I feel stupid and I don't feel
like your babe, I feel like aloser.
And I just started to get thisrevelation that God sees me
differently than I see myself,and the importance of lining my
(04:38):
thoughts, my actions, my wordsup with what he says.
And so when we talk about, likepeople knowing their identity
in Christ, I think it's soimportant to ask that question
have you asked God what hethinks about you and how he sees
you?
Because even when we look atthe Bible, we've seen Moses, he
(05:00):
he saw himself as someone whowas a murderer and a loser,
right, someone that reallymessed up.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You're nailing it with that story, right?
The difference between who Ithink I am, which isn't always
great, like what did you say youknow I suck, which is probably
the predominant thought for mostpeople.
Yeah, and who does God say youare?
And and I love how you landedthat piece about how it's like I
(05:32):
never would have said thatabout myself, right, like that's
where that you click and gothat with me.
And that was probably god.
Yes, it was positive.
You know nothing unscripturalabout it.
Probably god, not one of theother boys.
And uh, now I want to.
I want to talk about joebecause, uh, joe did like last
three days he's just been likehelping people move uh, or
(05:52):
struggle with the hurricanerecovery.
And I was texting him yesterdaymorning and I said I said
because he hasn't, he hasn'treally come out with like this
is what I think my identity is.
So I said, um, I said you haveone of the most uh kind hearts
of any any person I've ever metin my life, joe.
And I said I'm changing yourname, my phone, because I put
people's weird names in my phonefor people.
(06:13):
So I'm changing my name in myphone for joe to gentle heart
until you tell me something elsethat god says is your your
identity?
So I so I don't know.
I kind of cheated, I'm like I'mpushing an identity on him, um,
but that's uh, yeah, it's gotto come from yeah it's got to
come from up, from up there,right.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's how we know, at
least for me, that's how I knewit was from the Lord, because I
was like I never would have putthose words together and it
brought this immense peace andhope and comfort to me and I
remember just crying in my car.
So I think that's a really goodprayer.
A good step is for anyonelistening, like take time, and
(06:56):
you might not get it in themoment right when you're like
praying and asking, it's notgoing to like immediately come
to you.
That doesn't mean you don'thear from God.
I think it's just asking andbeing open in the next couple of
days, weeks, months, as you askGod what do you really think
about me?
How do you see me?
How should I identify?
Which is a real big topic for alot of people.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Well, and it has to, it has to resonate right, when,
when, when god called you that,I bet it.
It sunk and you're like, yeah,you know, when I'm at my best,
that resonates with who I am,you know, and, and it and it,
and it fills you with with joyand you go, yeah, like I can
rise to be that you know.
(07:41):
Uh, so for, for for me, the theclosest.
There've been a few interestingstatements, but, um, but cliff
jumper is my, my number one, mygo-to, like God says you're a
cliff jumper and I'm like youknow what?
That's exactly who I am.
Like when I met my absolutebest and you know, so that's
what you know, that grounding oflike you hear it and you go,
(08:01):
yeah, that's it, you know.
So that's what you know, thatgrounding of like you hear it
and you go, yeah, that's it, youknow.
What do you think, joe?
What are you thinking about?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Oh, I'm still going back to that, your nickname for
me because the next morningafter all those, after three
days of healthy people knockdown drywall, pull up their
floors, just destroying theirhouses even further.
Down drywall, pull up theirfloors, just destroying their
houses even further, I said youcan now name me broken back.
(08:29):
You go from kind hearted toheartbroken to just.
You just don't have anythingelse to feel anymore because
you're just going through theemotion of watching people lose
everything.
And I think that's you know toanyone who's listening.
I had a moment of prayer as youtalked about Melissa, I had a
(08:51):
chance to pray with this oldercouple living in an absolutely
stunning multi-million dollarhome on the water and they were
standing there helpless.
They have none of their kidsare nearby and they didn't know
the next step and the only thingI could think of doing was
putting my arms around them andpraying with them.
I said, Well, let's just startwith prayer, let's, let's start
(09:13):
there.
And and Mary Lou, the wife ofyou know, close to 55 years,
with her husband just startedbreaking down and crying, to 55
years, with her husband juststarted breaking down and crying
, and I think what I pulled fromthat and from what you just
said, you would have nevercalled yourself ferocious, babe.
I don't think we're all outthere making nicknames for
(09:34):
ourselves.
It's what we reveal to others,that they come up with those
thoughts because they see us inhow we are in real life, Not not
what we build up in our, inthat six inches between our ears
.
And it's not like you're tryingto do it for for show or look
at what I'm doing.
(09:54):
That's not what you're doing.
It's this is how God wired meand I really want to do it well
and I want to please God.
And then that's when he tapsyou down and he puts his hand
under his chin and he looks downon that beautiful little face
of Melissa and says you're myferocious babe and I've got such
big plans for you and don't youworry about a thing.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, 100% yeah.
Can I share another story?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
This is another great question that people who are
listening could go away and ask,or maybe some friends that are
close to them.
But I was in this conversationwith someone a couple years ago
and he was frustrated and he waslike man, if everybody could
just be who they are in the bodyof Christ, we wouldn't have any
problems.
(10:43):
And I was like, okay, well, westarted playing this game.
It's like okay, well, who doyou think so-and-so would be?
He's like oh, that's easy,they'd be the mind.
I'm like why would they be themind of Christ?
He's like oh, because theyalways have strategy and the way
that they think and the waythat they process.
Like they'd be the mind.
I'm like oh, that's kind ofinteresting, that's true.
So I started going through allthese people.
(11:04):
What about so-and-so Like?
Oh, easy, he'd be the muscle.
Like, oh, the muscle.
Why would he be the muscle?
He's like because he's justlike a pillar and he can take
strength, like he's strong andhe can take weight, and he's
just like a pillar in the church, like he's immovable.
I'm like man, that's so good.
So I finally plucked up enoughcourage and I said hey, what
(11:27):
about me?
What do you think I would be,he goes easy.
You'd be the smile, You'd bethe smile of God.
And I cannot even tell you theamount of freedom that I
experienced in that moment,cause secretly, I kind of always
wanted to be the mind and Ifelt like I wasn't enough.
(11:47):
Being a smile or the musclesseemed really cool.
But when he said that, I waslike that's it, that's all I
need to be is a smile.
And if I could just be that andI could do that really really
good, then I would be pleasingGod.
And so to me, that is personalbranding, and so from that point
I was like is my room, like mybusiness, does it reflect a
(12:11):
smile?
Does my website reflect a smile?
When I'm interacting withpeople, do they feel a smile?
So I wear bright clothesbecause I feel like it makes
people happy and it's justcompletely changed the way I
show up in the world because Irealize like I'm the smile.
And so a great way to find youridentity in God is to ask
(12:31):
people around you hey, if I was,like you know, a body, part in
the body of Christ, what would Ibe and why and I've asked my
clients this question to do thisexercise?
You would not believe thetransformation that people get
and how it sets people free,because we all secretly wish we
were a different part.
Right, we appreciate the otherparts than ourselves, but it's
(12:55):
so cool to like identify thatand just live in that lane and
stay exactly who you are.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
That's so good.
So, joe's the heart.
I already decided, yeah, forsure, the heart.
But you're totally right, andyou always want to be.
We all want to look over thislike a grass is greener thing.
We're like man.
I wish I was the muscle orwhatever.
But once you really settle intoyou, this is who I am and this
(13:23):
is where I'm going to live from,and it just empowers you to go
forward.
And I think in the businesscontext, we were talking about
this before we hit record todaytoo, of just these, you know,
shifts in understanding andworldview, of that right there,
that's a, that's a worldview,like I understand who I am, in
the, in the, in the body ofchrist, exactly what my identity
(13:46):
is, and if I could just stay inthis lane right here, my
business and everything else isgoing to advance faster, and I
think it's.
It's such a simple thing butyet, you know, profound and
fundamentally hard to gripunless you know, somebody helps
you with it.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I think there's so many times that we get
distracted.
One of the things that justhappened on this call is the
baby started crying behind youand I was looking at both of you
on the screen saying both ofyou stay in the lane, stay,
you're on target, don't moveaway from your message.
And you both did it and I'mwondering if anyone has to go
back and listen because they hada hard time keeping their
(14:31):
attention to that conversationbecause there was a baby in the
background.
And I think in life andbusiness it's even the smallest
distractions that we miss theopportunity, we miss the point
that was supposed to be made forus.
And when you were talking aboutyou know really Christ stepping
(14:51):
and looking down and putting hishand under his chin and telling
you you're a ferocious babe.
He was treating you like a babe.
And that's when that baby wascrying and I was like man.
There couldn't have been a moreperfect moment for that baby to
start crying in that restaurantwhere you crying, and I was
like man.
There couldn't have been a moreperfect moment for that baby to
start crying in that restaurantwhere you are.
And I'm thinking I hope peoplereally stayed focused.
I hope they were listeningthrough that, because that is
(15:13):
such an easy thing for all of usto do is to get distracted and
stay in our lane.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, I want to flip it to the negative too, because
I think another really cool wayto sort of get some confirmation
when you get insight into youridentity is you you.
It resonates with you like wetalked about, in a way that
you're like, yes, that's alwaysbeen true of me, and what you
find when you really dig into itis you is you've recognized
(15:42):
that the enemy's been lying toyou about that all the time,
like he's.
He's actually been attackingthat before you even knew what
ferocious babe was, he was.
He's been telling you all alongthat you're not that and when,
the more you start to understandthat, the more it resonates
he's like that is exactly who Iam and he'd been lying to me,
(16:03):
you know.
Do you get that?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Oh yeah, 100%.
And it's funny because I feellike God speaks to who we are
and a lot of times I swear if Iwould write a book, this would
be the next one.
It would be you're an imposter,because because that is how it
feels when sometimes we receiveour identity is we feel like an
(16:29):
imposter, but it's actually ourdivine design and I think that
the enemy loves to come afterour uniqueness and he loves to
come after the areas in our lifethat you know.
The Bible says that when I'mweak I'll be strong, right.
Well, how do we become strong?
We allow the power of God torest on our weakness Because if
(16:51):
we, you know, whatever we'reweak at, God can shine through.
But I think the enemy likes toplay in that area and capitalize
on our weaknesses and be likethat's going to hold you back,
that's going to keep you fromthe thing when, in reality, it's
actually in our weakness thatGod is strong and so like,
honestly, when I think aboutmyself, the thing that I think
(17:12):
of as far as ferocious babe, thelie is I'm fearful, I'm worried
, I'm not enough, and the babepart to me speaks to being God's
daughter, which is somethingthat I really struggled with
growing up was my relationshipwith my dad, and so, being a
daughter of my dad, you knowlike he's speaking to like
(17:36):
always be with you.
You're my girl, I got your back,I'm here for you, I'm never
going to leave you.
So I just like it was soprofound and I just want to
encourage people like if there'sa lie that's been repetitive in
your life, it's probablybecause that is the exact
opposite of what God has for youand how he sees you and you
(17:57):
probably, you probably won'trecognize the lie until you
start to wake up to youridentity.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And then you go oh man, there's a, there's been
this lie there the whole time.
And you know, uh, if actually Ijust sent Joe something about
Enneagram, you know, I've becomeso fascinated with Enneagram,
you know, and like I, my andlike my identity is cliff jumper
, which is part of being anEnneagram seven.
And there's always this likenegative and positive side.
(18:22):
So the negative side is I canbe impulsive, I can, like, do
things that are erratic, and,and so the enemy is always
attacking that and going like,look, see, you did it again.
You're so impulsive, and that's, that's a bad thing.
But the flip side is, when I'm,when I I'm, when I'm aligned to
(18:43):
who I am and I'm listening tochrist, when I, it's a bravery
to jump, a willingness to jumpthat most people don't have, and
so there's two sides of thesame coin.
It can be spun negative reallyeasily.
But you know, when you're doingit right, you're doing
alignment with christ, you're,this is my, this is my goal, and
he's been lying to me about itthe whole time.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yes, that's so good.
I love that that's so accurateyeah.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
What do you think, joe?
Well, I think that everythingthat we've said so far, I think
Melissa, just the walk thatyou're on, I mean, if you want
an idea of meeting Melissa inperson, she is the smile she
really is when she walks intothe room, she lights it up.
She does have this thing whereshe loves to wear pink and she
(19:32):
owns it, and so it's heridentity that she's embraced,
and I think that is the.
If there is anything thatanyone takes from any of this,
this is we have to be betterabout embracing that, that
wiring that God has given us.
And it's the evil one who'ssaying no, you're not.
That it's.
It's saying yes to God and noto the devil and just saying,
(19:56):
yes, god, I hear you and Ibelieve you, I trust you, I lean
on you.
And the devil.
You're just like kicking themoff to the side and your whole
body armor is on, and you'resaying you know what?
I have the shield of faith on.
You can throw your darts allday long, but I still have god,
and you don't, you know.
So it's, it's that ferociousand it's it's that ferocious and
(20:19):
that's the piece of you, that'syour heart, your smile, that's
what is your identifiers as youwalk into a space or when you
come through on, on everyone'searpieces.
When they're listening to you,they're going to hear it loud
and clear.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
That's awesome.
Thanks, joe, I love that.
Yeah, I totally, I totallyagree.
And I think, if you know, guys,if you're listening to this and
this is all new conversation toyou and you're like I don't
know what my identity is, thinkabout that thing.
That that's that you think istrue of you.
That's negative, that youthat's like what's the thing
(20:56):
that you're always feelingbeaten down about and you're
like I suck because this likewhat what melissa was saying at
the start, and look there, askgod about that, because you
might find that your identity isright there and just being you,
just being attacked all thetime yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
And and I, you know, I think about my husband.
He's very opposite to me, likewe would say like if I'm like
sunshine, he's a stormy dayBecause he's so like he's a
lightning bolt.
He's going to be super honest,transparent.
He won't care if it hurts yourfeelings.
It's the truth.
You need to hear it.
I'm loving you by being honest,like that's who he is.
(21:38):
You need to hear it.
I'm loving you by being honest,like that's who he is.
But you know one of the thingsthat he said with I asked him
this weekend because he's so tome, very authentic and sometimes
the smile, like my downfall canbe.
I don't like to see the negativeright and so coming across
authentic it can.
(21:58):
Sometimes the smile team seemstoo like too good to be true and
I struggled to look at thenegative.
So I asked my husband this weekand I'm like you're, like one
of the most authentic people Iknow, what would you say would
be like the key to authenticity?
He was like, oh, it's like youhave to be so comfortable with
your failures, just socomfortable with your
shortcomings, all this stuffthat, like you think you're
(22:20):
really bad at.
He's like just own it.
Why don't you just own it?
I'm like man, I'm so bad atthat, so bad at that.
But, um, what you're saying,though, matt and Joe, about like
what's the things that you'renot good at, that is a part of
your brand.
And let me just like share aquick story.
(22:40):
Even this, right now we'redoing this podcast, right, I
brought my headphones, but I didnot charge them because I just
I just didn't prioritize, I justforgot that is so on brand for
me, like so on brand.
I put on fake nails, right,right, and I was like, oh, I'm
going to wear these fake nailsand try and like, really like,
look professional, look reallygood.
(23:02):
They fell off because theydidn't do it right, and so I'm
walking around with, like, somenails are on, some nails are off
.
I just look unprofessional,right, kind of undone.
A couple of years ago, I wouldhave been so embarrassed by that
and told myself this story likeman, why can't I be more put
together?
Or by that, and told myselfthis story like man, why can't I
be more put together?
Or, you know, professional,when really the truth is, that's
(23:27):
like I'm the smile I'm meant to.
Like I should laugh it off,like it's.
Have a laugh, be comfortablewith yourself, right, it's okay.
That is so like my messaging,and so I think like there's
something to like looking at thethings that you're embarrassed
about that you think like makeyou less than when really like
if we could just lean into thatand own it like it's on brand
for me I'm going to probablysomehow it might not be perfect
(23:50):
and that there's actuallyfreedom in the imperfection and
that's part of who I am.
That's the message that you'regoing to get from me.
So I think, when you're talkingabout like your identity, like
own, own all of it, the good,bad and the ugly it makes you
who you are, and the the thereason why people would want to
work with you.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, and I think you you also kind of put a shine, a
big light on something thatmight seem obvious to a lot of
people or trite, but it's thisnot caring about what anybody
else thinks other than God, andthat's part of identity too.
It's like I know who I am andthat makes you care so much less
(24:33):
about what everybody else istalking about.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, yeah.
And it's not to say that likewhen you have shortcomings, you
don't choose to grow in thoseareas or whatever.
But we all have things, quirks,things about us, that just we,
we, you know.
If you want to build a strongbrand, I think it's just being
really aware of who you are andwho you are not.
(24:56):
Who you're for and who you'refor, not what pisses you off and
what you love, and just havingso much self-awareness and
ownership and not trying to beanything that you're not and
that's okay.
Jesus, last thing I'll say aboutthis Jesus was the best at this
.
You want to know.
What I love about Jesus Is whenhe was on planet earth, he had
(25:18):
all these naysayers right, allthese people that were like what
are you doing?
I mean, they literally were sopissed off at Jesus that they
crucified him.
We want to know what hisresponse was to all the
religious people.
I didn't come for you.
I didn't come for you.
I came for the broken.
I came for the sick.
I came for the hurting.
Those are my people.
(25:38):
If you're uppity and you'rereligious and you think you've
got it all together like you'renot ready for this, you're not
ready for this and it pissed himoff so much.
they crucified him because hehad such a clear message.
And so, when we're talkingabout identity, there is so much
to like owning who you're forthe people that you're meant to
(26:01):
reach and the people that you'renot.
It might piss some of thosepeople off because they're not
your people, and I think, as abeliever, honestly that is what
we're truly meant to do.
The gospel is offensive.
There should be something aboutus that is offensive to the
people that we're not called toreach.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Exactly.
And before Christ said it isfinished, he said forgive them,
father, for they do not knowwhat they do.
And that's where we all land,where all the naysayers out
there, all the impostersyndromes that we walk around
with, thinking that you know Iwonder what they're thinking
about me.
(26:40):
That needs to go out the window.
What they think about usdoesn't matter.
What our Christ thinks about usand how he wired us and how he
developed our minds and ourhearts to be in this lifetime.
That's how we have to be and asfar as those that aren't in our
, they're not part of our tribeof thinking and they're not
(27:01):
there to rally around us.
We just, we love on them, weforgive their, we forgive them
and move on.
You know we don't go up to themand physically forgive them,
but we just, we move on with ourlives and we, and we know we're
going to do our best of beingourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Yeah totally.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
That's so good.
I think that's a wrap for today, guys.
Melissa, thank you so much forbeing with Joe and I on the
Certain Success Podcast.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Thanks, Melissa.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Thank you.
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